What a great way to invest your time and I really appreciate your sense of humor. Sadly, there is a human emotion, or response called “regret.” For example, a drunk driver wakes up in a jail cell with no memory of the night before. He is walked over in hand cuffs to a “service window” and told he is being booked or vehicular man slaughter. It turns out he ran a red light, struck a SUV with a family of 5, killing 2 children under the age of 5.
The joy you receive running this web site is probably pretty big. I’m sure you love the ignorant hate mail you receive or the attention from other joy seeking worldly people.
My question to you is, do you consider yourself a good person? On the day of judgment when you’re standing in front of a Holy and righteous God, how will you fare? What kind of remorse do you think you, and others you may be leading away from God will feel when they are turn away from the gates of Heaven and cast in to the pits of Hell for not repenting for the Sin we are all guilty for? You have you ever lied, stolen or committed adultery within your heart?
I don’t honestly believe that you’re going to reply with some miracle response that says “yes, you’re right I will repent and follow Jesus.” Do yourself a favor. Do some research and really consider what you’re basing the fate and existence of your eternal soul on. If you decide to follow your current path, good luck friend. If you find yourself with even the slightest doubt of the certainty of your eternal soul then I suggest you pick up your Bible, read it and do what it says.
God Bless,
Nick
Good fun, at what cost?
Published by Bobby Henderson April 4th, 2009 in Hate Mail (and concerned criticism). 244 Comments
244 Responses to “Good fun, at what cost?”
@ Standing for Something.
SHOW US THE PROOF!
You lot keep saying you have proof but you don’t seem to want to share it.
I wonder why.
Because you have no proof whatsoever. None. Zero. Zilch.
And deep down you know it.
Ever get the feeling you’ve been ripped off? ;-)
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Nick, why limit yourself to the BuyBull? Starting with the letter “A”, how about we observe all religious dogma so we’ll be covered in any circumstance. So the Aztecs sacrificed humans to appease their god, and I have a former neighbor I’m not crazy about…
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I really love the way that hard-line Christians usually write such dire English. It associates linguistic illiteracy and religion in a way that is truly gratifying to one who believes in language and disbelieves in the old Olympian axe-murderers with similar passion.
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Heh. I bet God has a good sense of humor. If he didn’t, why was the first man a midget?
I mean, they’re awesome and funny. They hold our dreams in their tiny heads.
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@ standing for something #84
Yes, I do want you you to tell me about your proof, because I cannot believe in something without it, and if the Christian God really does exist, I really want to know about it. If you have proof of your God, isn’t it selfish to keep it to yourself? All we have ever wanted was evidence – not rants, not threats, and not attempts at intimidation, but evidence, and despite claims of having it, Christians have never given it to us. This leads me to conclude that either you are lying to us, or you are selfish and actually want us to go to Hell. Either option is a sin, if I’m not mistaken, so if you don’t want to go to Hell right along with us, I believe you either need to pony up this supposed evidence or admit you never had it in the first place. I’ll be praying to the FSM that you do the right thing (but he’s kind of busy, so you could help him out a lot by just choosing to to it on your own).
RAmen,
Sarah
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Anyone else notice that nearly every time some religious person comments, it’s nonsensical and incoherent? The reason is, when you are gullible enough to buy the concept of an invisible, intangible, inaudible, superflous supernatural entity, you’re not exactly the kind of person who thinks logically. It’s hilarious reading some of the nonsense that these people spew. FSM is just as plausible as the ancient Jewish desert god, but they are incapable of seeing that. Good stuff!
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So tell me this please. If I follow the Bible AND I am a good person I will goto heaven correct? Now there is a oxymoron if I ever heard one. To follow the bible litterally I would have to:
Go out and slaughter every gay man and woman I came into contact with. (Genesis 19:1 – 19:29)
I would have to slaughter any man or woman who has ever used birth control. (Genesis 38:6 – 38:10)
I would have to destroy any testements to mans resolve lest god be jelous of all we have achieved without him. (Genesis 11:1 – 11:9)
I would have to tell my beautiful wife (who sadly hasn’t been touched by His Noodly Appendege and is a devout catholic, which in turn should make her more accepting of this idea) that I must go out and have many concubines like Abraham who was gods homeboy on Earth. (Genesis 25:6)
I would also have to make sure that I not only killed any man who slept with any of my sisters before they were married, but I also slaughter all the men that live in the same town as that man, even if they had nothing to do with it. I would also have to steal all of their possessions and take their wives and daughters as slaves. (Genesis 34:1 – 34:31)
And all that is just the book of Genesis! Yeah lets all go out and live exactly according to the bible. Great Idea. While were at it, lets convert all those who oppose our beliefs! It is our duty to save their souls from damnation! Even if it means we must murder (oh did i say murder I ment purify) millions of people who we have never even met. Wait a second, thats sounds awefully like the reason I am here in Iraq trying to stop the very devout from purifing the lesser or wrongly devout….
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BTW,
jeremykeys that was a excelent message.
Thank you
That is all
RAmen
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Suppose he’s fake?
If you can believe in a talking snake, believe in FSM
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Just a note on the whole Jesus dying nonsense. The bible is filled with people killing or hurting their children. Lot is a great example, supposedly he offered his daughters, virgins no less, to an angry mob to appease them. The mob decided they wanted none of it. Somehow that doesn’t make Lot the hero of that story to me. Then you have Abraham poor guy had to take his son up to the mountain to slaughter and burn him just to prove to his codependent god how much he believes….! God eventually calls off the sick joke but I tell you if the voice boomed from the heavens telling me to kill my daughter it’d be very disappointed with my reaction. Then you have Job, who’s family is slaughtered to let god win a bet with the devil. Are you sure this is the entity you want to be following?
I’ll stick with the FSM. As embodiments of spiritual concepts go he may be a little harder to anthropomorphize but he leaves my family out of his temper fits.
Oh sorry got sidetracked, so god lets his son die for our sins.. ok but god also knows that said son only has to suck up a day of torture then, supposedly, three more days in hell and then vroom he’s immortal and omnipotent in heaven for eternity…? that kind of lessens the gesture don’t you think?
Apostate
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why do Christians always protest this religion. i mean what if pastafarianism is the one true religion or Hinduism then were both screwed arnt we but thats not the point. we believe in what we chose to not what a different religion does. even when “judgment day” comes there is always going to be a group left out, Hindu, Buddha, catholic, jeudism, the list goes on so why bother arguing. we don’t come to your church and ask you to believe in fsm and say your god is ridiculous. anyway before i get to worked up I’ve gotta go. (sorry for all the spelling mistakes its late.
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I know Im a good person, I have donated money to the poor, paid for my sisters college, and have let people believe what they want to believe. Im a good person. And i know that the FSM will send me to heaven full of beer volcanoes and strippers :)
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Good fun at no cost – beyond that of your basic ISP fees. But even then, the Noodly Master is mysterious, and there exist places called ‘libraries’ and in them one may gain admittance to the internet, and partake of Noodly Goodness for free (well, you do have to pay taxes to support them, so I guess it isn’t free) – but without additional surcharges! MIraculous!
RAmen!
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Nick, i truly do not believe in sin. sin was just a word to describe the things in life that make life worth living. without this “sin,” life would really be an empty drag. you seem to imply that the point of life is the afterlife, to exist in paradise in heaven or cast away into hell. the problem is, EVERYONE, yes even you, even jesus, even every single person in their life has “sinned” in their life.
recognize this quote? “let he who is without sin cast the first stone.”
know who said it? i think you do.
i respect christianity as a religion, and i understand your attempt to save us “misguided souls,” but frankly i don’t care. if theres a life after death, what’s the point in worrying and repenting instead of living your life to its fullest extent? there is none. christianity has forced itself onto the people in an effort to control them, to scare them into believing what no one knows the answer to. and it worked. it worked like no other plan in the history of the universe worked like. since no one can tell you what happens after death, anyone can claim anything they want, and if people are scared, they’ll believe it.
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Howdy, Pasta Lovers!
If I’m not mistaken, there’s a fact you support that no one’s mentioned and it’s a key factor in the illogic rampant among every organized religions followers and one they cannot refute. All versions of the Bible were written by several different authors and translators with varying motivations having nothing to do with anything Holy, sometimes thrust upon them by others who ruled over them or hired them.
Some claimed divine inspiration, (very often confused by many humans, regardless of belief, with a moment of personal delusional crisis.)
Thousands of very human hands have made multiple versions, copies of versions, denominational variants and all of them contain several self serving changes and quotations. The very people who killed Jesus are the ones who directly profited from it’s resulting popularity and mass distribution.
My point being believe what you need to if it helps you to envision the invisible and appreciate how small we are and how grand life’s short roller-coaster ride is.
Put the book down and have a look around. Do you really think “God” is an angry sum-bitch who’ll stomp your ass flat if you don’t subscribe to his newsletter and your inherently evil?
Or maybe your wishing he was and you are, so you don’t have to believe your responsible for all your actions and if you do some trained seal antics because some guy in a smoky room and funny hat in Italy said so, you’ll be forgiven for being a schmuck from time to time?
Slow down, Guys and Dolls. It’s not that hard.
Aloha
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Unfortunately I know the feeling “regret” all too well. I regret I spent 13 years of my life going to church on Sunday listening to hypocrites preach their so-called “values and interpret an inane storybook (or as you call it, a “Bible”). I read it and found no answers.
5 years later,still no answers but life has improved greatly since then.
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U GUYS R SICK FUCKS WORSHIPPING A BOWL OF PASTA!!!! SPAGETTI DIDN’T MAKE U GOD DID HOPE YOU ALL FIND JESUS BEFORE YOU BURN IN HELL YOU DOUCH BAGS
Haha,just kidding :D Was it convincing???
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I thought it was quite cute how concerned Nick is with you. The whole point of this site is point out the flaws in Intelligent Design and inherently Christianity and all other world religions. I very well doubt that Mr. Henderson cares what God will think on the Day of Judgement because the odds of there being one are a limit approaching zero.
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Nick,
Thank you for your concern about my soul and it’s fate for eternity. I am currently not accepting any new spirituality and/or belief systems at this time. Your plea will be kept on file and may be considered for a future conversion.
I am satisfied with things as they are now. It is unlikely that I will change my mind in the future. Again, management thanks you for your concern.
Namaste and RaMen,
DreddPyrateRoberts
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I don’t think God sends people in hell just for believing in a flying spagethi monster… If he does, he’s mean and doesn’t care about any of his creators… And if you think this is getting people to walk away from God, think about this: Maybe cristhians are making people walk away from the thruth too. Maybe buddhists are right. Think about your won actions!
Ramen
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Yawn. These kind of arguments from Christians are boring. Think of something new we can laugh at.
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creation of the universe is explained in chaos theory, we as humans are physically unable to comprehend anything that has no beginning and or end, only a few who force themselves can believe in this “possibility”.
Now as for your biased and threatening opinion, lets do a little statistics for proper measure.
1+1=10
Is that right or wrong?
In reality Im right because you came here with pre-set Idea’s,opinions and questionable facts as did I, the point Im making is for you to open your mind and embrace unbiased facts and instead of learning something, Learn how to deal with it.
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Nick,
It looks like you’re not cut out for this whole ‘wasting our oxygen’ thing. I’d suggest a new career, like suicide. Do something good for the rest of the world like removing yourself from it. Kthxbye.
I’d say we’ll miss you, but I’d be lying.
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What the hell does drunk driving have to do with any of this?! I’m so confused right now!
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Just my take on this having read some of the hate mail, it seems that some of the people who take the most offence are the ones who are too stupid to work out that FSM is a parody.
Secondly, not wishing to generalise too much but it seems that most of the people who are too stupid to work it out and want to come round and kick the shit out of the pastafarains are American, which is why while I find the hate mail from the more clearly moronic people funny, it is worrying at the same time because there is a lot of political influence in the hands of these deeply stupid and agressive evangelical christains.Some of these people are activly trying to provoke wars in the belief that it will result in the rapture.Deeply frightening stuff.
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Sorry for the slight typo in my last comment I should refrain from typing with my toes.
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Another thought is that someone might like to point out to these christains that if you don’t believe in heaven and hell then their threats that ‘you will all burn in hell for ever’ only serve to make them look even more stupid.
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you know if god is all forgiving why would he damn good people for not believing an idea, kinda sounds like hmmm your saying god is as unforgiving as hitler, in the fact that he had a belief and you follow it or are damned. kinds sounds like god sucks some major ass.
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Mr. ’standing for something’ needs to stand for taking an english class. People who can’t be bothered with the most fundamental guidelines of written communication when pontificating upon topics of such lofty import deserve the darkened, ignorant and wasted lives their pearly-toothed preachers have swindled him into. I’m always glad for my children to hear of another fool removing his offspring from the competitive fields of science.
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oh no, don’t you get Christianity at all? it ain’t about bein’ “good”- you gotta “BELIEVE” that some fucked up old jewish warmonger got his jollies watching his son get nailed, literally. That’s it! I swear to, uh, God! Go ahead and rape the planet, rob the poor, kill anyone and everyone who doesn’t agree with you, tell little children they’re going to burn forever, fuck the girl next door and have her husband killed even (Hey, King David did it, and he was gawd’s favorite). As long as you “believe”, then YOU’RE FORGIVEN!! How fucking cool is that??? All I know is, if I ended up pregnant out of wedlock back in those days, I’d probably try to make up some bullshit story about “uh… god did it” too, just to keep from being stoned to death. Too bad they didnt have DNA testing back then.
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Firstly, I don’t own a bible, or at least not your version of it.
I’m quite content with my beliefs, and on the subject of research and evidence, if you had taken any kind of inquiry yourself, you’d find that there is much more evidence, presented in logical order and undeniable proofs, than there is of Christianity (or lack thereof.)
Bluntly, you’re full of bullshit.
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Happy Jesus on a stick day, everyone! I prefer mine with a nice peanut satay sauce. How do you like yours?
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Sigh. Thanks for the concern, Nick, and thanks for being coherent; however, you are also right in guessing that you aren’t going to change (m)any minds with this. We have, in fact, heard this argument before; in fact, we get it in most of our hatemails, just not stated quite so politely. Speaking personally, I find this all-condemning god that you describe unappealing, and I refuse to be scared into worshiping someone who throws people into Hell for not believing in Him. That is not a loving god by any stretch, in my opinion anyway. I also doubt that doing research is going to convince us, unless we read that if we don’t believe, we’re damned forever, so many times that we start hearing those words in our sleep. Since the whole idea of faith is that you believe, not that you KNOW, we aren’t going to find any evidence, research or not. You should really try to appeal to something other than our fear, since we pirates are a tough bunch, and often too inebriated to be afraid.
.
It was also in rather poor taste to compare Pastafarians to drunk drivers who commit manslaughter, as being a Pastafarian a) isn’t illegal, b) doesn’t harm others, c) has no obvious, factual consequences attached to its practice (you seem to think that there are, but you can’t prove it, and unless we believe, the point’s moot, anyway), and d) doesn’t leave grieving relatives, widows and widowers, or orphaned children in its wake, people who may not appreciate such a metaphor.
.
PS- ebenrazer, THAT seems like a much worse Hell than the traditional one; maybe you’re right!
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Nick
You my friend, are delusional. I find it beyond hilarious that anyone with the same view of god, and christian based religion, as you, could be so self righteous as to disagree with the beleif of a giant spaghetti monster blessing the world, and creating it all with his noodly apendage. You harp and harp about how someone’s beleif in this, or teachings of this, will lead to an eternal damnation. Not only that, but you speak of “the pearly gates”, heaven and hell, an eternally wonderful place for you very soul to spend existance, or the exact opposite, in the case of the latter. I have one question… what in the flying fuck are you on? We believe in spaghetti… you believe in a soul bearing netherworld beyond the grips of death itself… and we’re the one’s steering people wrong? Pastafarianism stands for a bleif in disbeleif (in my mind at least, that is how I personally interpret it.) It is a theory that anyone, at any time, can beleive what they want. Just as christians can beleive in god, heaven, hell… we can beleive in beer volcanoes and stripper factories! But telling someone they’re wrong for their beleifs is beyond stupidity. You say Henderson is steering people towards hell. Well my guess is that most of the people who embrace pastafarianism don’t really beleive in hell. You say his soul will be damned for showing people another path… isn’t that what your god is doing? Showing you a path to “righteousness”… and did you not choose to walk that path yourself? I know you’ll probably never read this, nor will anyone else, but i think God and the FSM should have an arm/noodly appendage wrestle… I’m just sayin… FSM FTW!!! Praise his noodly appendage. RAmen.
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“If you find yourself with even the slightest doubt of the certainty of your eternal soul then I suggest you pick up your Bible, read it and do what it says.”
My bible? LOL…the closest I ever get to a bible is when I’m in a hotel room. Unfortunately, you cannot request a room with “No Religion”…I mean you can request a room with “No Smoking” or “2 Queen Beds”, why not a “No Religion” room.
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I am guilty of nothing and have no regrets. If there is a god and I go to hell for that then so be it. I refuse to worship such a hateful being.
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pick up your bible, read it and do what it says.
so if i go out next sunday and stone to death all the people i find working, which will be quite a lot, i’ll get the thumbs up from god, and it’s straight into heaven for me.
hmm.. nice guy.
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FSMism is a way of God, dumb shrimp lover!!!!
Again, people are trying to push religion and viewpoints on people…
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Ah, yes I believe that this site is on point with THE point it is trying to get across. To all those bible thumpers keep on , keepin on. Life is a time for enjoyment and discovery, revelations and learning. To expand our minds and ways of thinking. Life is the whim of several billion cells to be you for a while. How any one can spend that life in a state of repent is beyond me, but to each their own. However it would be nice to be able to express your thoughts with out having religion smacking you in the face. For a faith based on “forgiveness” and “kindness” it seems rather hypocritical don’t you think? We are all god, god is with in US, how ever you may see it or interpret it. Faith must come from with in ones self not by some fathom sky fairy who must be revered.
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There also happens to be another human emotion Nick failed to mention of equal importance, Hunger.
A man wakes up in the dumpster with no recollection of the events occurring the previous night. He finds he has taco juice all over his face and hands and a strong seasoned ground beef taste in his mouth. Feeling a lump in his pocket he reaches in and pulls out a handful of hot sauce packets. He is woken by a pimple-faced teenager and asked to get out of the dumpster. It turns out that he got the munchies at midnight and ate 20 hard tacos and a mexi-melt at taco bell. The person who asked him to leave was the manager. For the rest of the day his stomach aches, which makes the walk home uncomfortable.
After hearing this story I just made up it’s obvious that you should now believe in Jesus Christ and stop not believing in Him. Now that you believe in the only true God (my God) you will undoubtedly repent for your years of blasphemy (as a good Christian should). Although, you should not be too hard on yourself, we all know the powers of corruption Taco Bell has on the weak (you).
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I don’t need a god to be a good person. :/
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“I suggest you pick up your Bible, read it and do what it says.”?
Wait, so…
You want me to go…
Stone a gay guy to death… Nail someone on a cross(it does say that in the Bible, you know. Be more specific with you words.)… and er… Basicly, not do anything fun?
If I recall correctly,
there were people cheating on each other, sleeping around, murdering others, etc. in the Bible. Why tell us to do what the Bible says?
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Sorry for the double post. Nick, I don’t think I have a Bible in my house. To be honest, I think some of my neighbors are pagans and satanists. Where do we go about getting one, Bibles-R-Us? Probably not worth the cost, anyways. I’ll flip through it when I need a chuckle.
Wouldn’t it be funny if both of our religions were wrong, and we all went to Limbo? I sure hope not, because I can’t Limbo very well. Or play Twister, for that matter.
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A modest proposal:
Since these people all seem to enjoy coming to Bobby’s site and posting their hate-filled bile, what do you say we all start bombarding Christian websites with the One True Gospel?
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ok so im not a christian at all nor am i a good spelle bare that in mind while you read this. i would like to say that i absolutly LOVE what your doing. the thought you state here that the “pasta-farian”
is no more rediclous that any other god. frankly i want to order a shirt im still hashing it out with my wife. but soon i will order the shirt and rest assured im wearing all the time.
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“Honor thy father and thy mother…”– Exodus 20:12
“If any man come to me, and hate not his father, and mother, and wife, and children, and brethren, and sisters, yea, and his own life also, he cannot be my disciple. ” — Luke 14:26
“The son shall not bear the iniquity of the father…” — Ezekiel 18:20
“I the LORD thy God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children unto the third and fourth generation…” — Exodus 20:5
“…thou shalt give life for life, Eye for eye, tooth for tooth, hand for hand, foot for foot. burning for burning, wound for wound, stripe for stripe. ” — Exodus 21:23-25
“…ye resist not evil: but whosoever shall smite thee on the right cheek, turn to him the other also.” — Matthew 5:39
What to do…I’m so confused.
Have fun following a book that is filled with inconsistencies, and scientific impossibilities. I know you will say that with God all things are possible….except, of course for defeating an army with Chariots of Iron (”…The LORD was with Judah; and he drave out the inhabitants of the mountain; but could not drive out the inhabitants of the valley, because they had chariots of iron.” — Judges 1:19)
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Shut up, moron. You will regret it when you realized you’ve wasted your life by revolving it around an imaginary deity. All those Sundays spent in church could have been spent playing baseball or being with your friends and family. All that time pushing your beliefs on people could have been spent making new friends.
THAT’S regret, motherf-er.
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For the sake of argument, let’s say Nick’s after-world exists (not bloody likely, but bear with me). So if you were the Almighty, who would YOU want to spend eternity with? Sourpusses like Nick or those with a sense of humor like Pastafarians? The choice is obvious!
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“Read the Bible and do what it says”. My FSM! In the end, you’d see me persecute and kill other races and other fates, rape women and children… Not the best spiritual guide this book of your’s.
I think I’ll stick with my own judgment. Oh, and “The Judgment Day”, come one, grow up mate! Who needs that fairy tale to live a good life?
≈o”o≈
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Well, thank you for sharing that little story from your past with us. I’d love to say that I don’t think this happened to you, but the evidence is overwhelming. You just are too specific, and besides, it was kinda depressing. Please don’t make us sad, write some stuff for us to poke fun at.
RAmen
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