What a great way to invest your time and I really appreciate your sense of humor. Sadly, there is a human emotion, or response called “regret.” For example, a drunk driver wakes up in a jail cell with no memory of the night before. He is walked over in hand cuffs to a “service window” and told he is being booked or vehicular man slaughter. It turns out he ran a red light, struck a SUV with a family of 5, killing 2 children under the age of 5.
The joy you receive running this web site is probably pretty big. I’m sure you love the ignorant hate mail you receive or the attention from other joy seeking worldly people.
My question to you is, do you consider yourself a good person? On the day of judgment when you’re standing in front of a Holy and righteous God, how will you fare? What kind of remorse do you think you, and others you may be leading away from God will feel when they are turn away from the gates of Heaven and cast in to the pits of Hell for not repenting for the Sin we are all guilty for? You have you ever lied, stolen or committed adultery within your heart?
I don’t honestly believe that you’re going to reply with some miracle response that says “yes, you’re right I will repent and follow Jesus.” Do yourself a favor. Do some research and really consider what you’re basing the fate and existence of your eternal soul on. If you decide to follow your current path, good luck friend. If you find yourself with even the slightest doubt of the certainty of your eternal soul then I suggest you pick up your Bible, read it and do what it says.
God Bless,
Nick
Good fun, at what cost?
Published by Bobby Henderson April 4th, 2009 in Hate Mail (and concerned criticism). 244 Comments
244 Responses to “Good fun, at what cost?”
None of the people who come on here and threaten us with hell realize that Mephistopheles is my homie. I don’t mind going to the sixth layer of hell, the City of Dis, it sounds fun, especially since I will spend all eternity with a flaming Micky Mouse (look up Disney stock info). Anyway, I’m still not going to hell, just drinkin’ beer at the base of the Beer Volcano with my friends and our deity, the FSM. Yes, my friends include the demon Mephistopheles.
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I suddenly have to think about some famous quotes:
If people are good only because they fear punishment, and hope for a reward, then we are a sorry lot indeed.
We must question the story logic of having an all-knowing all-powerful God, who creates faulty Humans, and then blames them for his own mistakes.
Philosophy is questions that may never be answered. Religion is answers that may never be questioned.
Since the Bible and the church are obviously mistaken in telling us where we came from, how can we trust them to tell us where we are going?
You do not need the Bible to justify love, but no better tool has been invented to justify hate.
Is God willing to prevent evil, but not able? Then he is not omnipotent. Is he able, but not willing? Then he is malevolent. Is he both able and willing? Then whence cometh evil? Is he neither able nor willing? Then why call him God?
turns out that there is a God, I don’t think that he’s evil. But the worst that you can say about him is that basically he’s an underachiever.
I refuse to believe in a god who is the primary cause of conflict in the world, preaches racism, sexism, homophobia, and ignorance, and then sends me to hell if I’m ‘bad’.
one person suffers from a delusion, it is called insanity. When many people suffer from a delusion, it is called religion.
I am against religion because it teaches us to be satisfied with not understanding the world.
Atheists will celebrate life, while you’re in church celebrating death.
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If a persons faith is so week that it is swayed by a FSM than they have no faith to start with. Try reading something about us otherwise you it just makes you look stupid.
In case you haven’t noticed we are used to alot of people who think like you looking stupid. Thanks for keeping the status quo.
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Had me until “On the day of judgment when you’re standing in front of a Holy and righteous God, how will you fare?”
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“Our budget from Rutgers is $500″
RAMEN!
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@lyvvie- RAmen!
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Oh, which one of you wrote that one?
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Griffin7890 is right. We should be lauding a reasonably literate effort on Nick’s part. Clearly the Xtian school he attended taught him to at least read his Bible.
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Dear Nick,
If you don’t like this ite and it’s comments, then don’t come back. If you appreciate humor and can recognize sarcasm when you see it, then you’re welcome here. How about you removing that stick from your posterior and realize that it’s not up to you to decide people’s fates. You believe your version of the Universe and let others believe theirs. When you die you’ll find out who was right. We are children of the same Universe, let’s play nice.
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Your arrogance, to believe that you are part of a cosmological plan, is astounding. You will be nothing when you die, only worm food.
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Competence? There is no place for competence in hate mail…
This guy seems at least slightly competent…weird. I wonder why he believes in the Sky Daddy rather than the Flying Spaghetti Monster. And that’s where his competence is faulted.
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Bruce, cheers, I stand corrected
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Punishing people with heaps of guilt only burdens them until the break and slaughter multiple people. While neither choice is great, the drunk driving is at least less deadly. As far as the drunk driving goes, I’d say that’s what you get when you let Jesus take the wheel. Stupid fundies.
I think the thing that bothers me the most is the line “cast in to the pits of Hell for not repenting for the Sin we are all guilty for”. Ummm…what sin is that? Is this that original sin thing? Because I still don’t quite get that one. Or is this the x-rated thoughts one? Definately amongst my favorite sins.
Side note for all you pastafarians, check out http://www.sinfest.net and read the strip from Sunday 4-5-09. Although it might not be that funny if you never watched Thundercats.
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“My question to you is, do you consider yourself a good person?”
Assuming for a second there is a God and a Heaven and all that (there isn’t, and I know there isn’t, because I know there isn’t), what if the answer to this question is ‘Yes’?
If it’s yes, then the God you describe, according to your rules, will have to let me in to Heaven. And if that is so, then religion and belief in God is irrelevant. If it’s all down to how you live your life, then I would have absolutely no fear (if I believed any of it).
Even though I don’t believe any of it, it seems to me that the Xian version of God is a very large guy, who is only slightly smarter than the very smartest Xian. And therefore thinks in very much the same way and of course comes to the very same conclusions. It always perturbs me that they think they know so much about God, that they know what he will do and to whom, yet frequently answer questions with: “God works in mysterious ways.”
It is obvious that if there is a supreme being that created the universe and everything in it, it would be impossible for a human being to comprehend it. But no, they have a BOOK. Therefore they know everything there is to know about God.
Perplexing, really.
RAmen
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Nick,
I picked up the bible and found this:
“And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother’s eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye?”
(Matthew 7:3)
Enjoy
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@Nick
If we’re already convinced your god is imaginary, just how much weight do you think we’re going to give all of your insipid whining about going to hell? It’s exactly the equivalent of saying that Santa Claus isn’t going to bring us any presents or the Easter Bunny isn’t going to bring us any candy. I mean, just because you’re a moron, you shouldn’t go around assuming everyone else is, too.
But I think the thing that really twists my tail is the whole smug, self-righteous way that xtians go around assuming that they have some monopoly on morality, comparing us to drunk drivers committing vehicular homicide. Most of the Pastafarians and atheists I know are some of the best people I know. They tend to be thoughtful, introspective and really serious about issues like philosophy and morality, much too serious about it to swallow some fairy-story crap and call it “Truth” just because someone told them so.
On the contrary, some (and I emphasise “some”) of the xtians I know are some of the worst people I know; more like the drunk driver trying to get away with something. They seem to believe that just because they’re a member of the “Jebus club” they can get away with lying or cheating or a hundred other little petty slights because they’ve found the ultimate dodge. They can be giant a-holes yet still convince themselves that they’re good people because they have a Jebus card in their wallet. It’s always the most smug and self-righteous ones that are the worst; in fact, I think the ones that go around wearing their religion on their sleeves are the ones using it as a dodge. There are plenty of great people who also happen to be xtians, it’s the snarky loud ones who are trying to hide from themselves.
So, Nick, what’s your dodge? Did you cheat on your wife, bugger little boys, or steal from the Jerry’s kids donation jar? You know that you have to believe yourself to be worthless and sinful before you can be redeemed and go spread the “good news”.
Ramen
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Nick says:
“Do yourself a favor. Do some research and really consider what you’re basing the fate and existence of your eternal soul on.”
Sound advice. I suggest, Nick, that you follow it. If you do, I’d like to see your references, especially if you feel that your research shows some type of justification for your condemnation of constitutionally protected free speech and my right to freedom of and from religion.
RAmen
ET
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@ Thursday (#14),
I’m glad I never read Numbers 25 in my formative years. That would have scared me big-time. If I had known then that the loving lord was capable of such evil deeds, I would have become a christian on the spot. Fortunately, I have been Touched by the Noodly Appendage of our beloved Flying Spaghetti Monster, so I know I have nothing to fear for my immortal soul. I’ll see you beside the beer volcano in due course.
RAmen
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“I don’t believe that God is chiefly interested in religion.” Some famous dude said that. I know in my heart that the FSM will forgive you your transgressions and will open his noodley appendages to you when you find that the old man with the beard is fiction.
RAmen, oh confused one.
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Nick,
Let’s try this thermodynamics experiment:
http://www.pinetree.net/humor/thermodynamics.html
If it works, I’ll probably meet you there. If it doesn’t work, you’ll be serving me my beer from the beer volcano, and I’ll be able to explain to you that by denying yourself those fun activities of life, like sex in moderation, alcohol in moderation, love and companionship, acceptance of others you are committing grievous sins by rejecting the earthly pleasures that the deity has provided.
RAmen
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“I suggest you pick up YOUR Bible”
does this guy think that everyone owns a bible, ha
he also thinks the research will lead you to the christian god
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My kid was disrespecful to me so I had him stoned to death at the local town hall. I am on the path to righteousness, praise Jesus!
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your wrong and by what you pepole say being wrong is a sin and weve all been wrong and to go to hell fore difrint idias rely is not faar becuz therd world contrys are all redy in hell so ya and if gods thiks killing 2 chidrin is jest as afull as having fun that is one twited self absorb god p.s. sory 4 the spelling were all difrint
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I once thought about following JC until I found out he eventually went straight up. That was kind of like god reneging on giving his only begotten son to us to cover our sin debt up to that point in time. But why dwell on outdated tenets of the catholic faith? Welcome to the group of the true believers! We’ll save you a cold one and a seat close to the stripper’s stage in heaven.
Doesn’t that beat sitting on a damp cloud and singing hymns?
RAmen
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Right. I picked up the Bible and did what the first verse I found told me to do:
Deuteronomy 25:11-12
If two men, a man and his countryman, are struggling together, and the wife of one comes near to deliver her husband from the hand of the one who is striking him, and puts out her hand and seizes his genitals, then you shall cut off her hand; you shall not show pity.
Lucky for me, I was indeed wrestling with a man. Unlucky for his wife though.
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Everyday is judgement day…not sure why you Christian’s think there is just one big one. Everyday I look into a mirror and ask myself if I’ve been a good person and treated others with respect, and I’m happy to report I’m always happy with my behavior. Why can’t you silly Christian’s learn to judge your selves (and not others)? You’d be happier and you wouldn’t have to sit around and wait for your god to kill you then tell you where you could have improved.
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FSM, a swipe at a historical fact. Shame on you.
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Old Nick – has it occurred to you that the FSM is as likely to be true as your bronze age mythology? Makes you think doesn’t it? Assuming you can think then I’m guessing you don’t like the things it makes you think so you resort to the loving kindness that marks out the religious zealot when challenged.
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i prayed to the fsm and the next morning I found $100 dollar bill on the ground near my mailbox! He must be real! He answered my prayers! I wanted $100 to go shopping with and the FSM actually answered my prayer! This is clearly not an act of God, or a coincidence… It was the FSM!!!
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“Do some research and really consider what you’re basing the fate and existence of your eternal soul on.”
Well, Nick, that’s exactly how I found my way to Pastafarianism and the truth of the FSM.
I suggest you take your own advice a bit more seriously, and repent your worship of false gods.
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WOW!! some people just don’t get it, huh!
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Nick, you don’t realize the fundamental error of Christianity. I can not possibly have faith in your god. I don’t believe your god has any more existence than any other god invented by humans over the centuries. I could have faith only if I believed, and I cannot believe without faith. How this obvious falacy excapes Christians I can’t understand. Pleading with me to believe and have faith in your god is as pointless as pleading with me to believe in Shiva. Even if I feared eternal torture by a vengeful god with the personality of an Oriental despot there is nothing I could do about it. Think about it.
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It doesn’t matter whether God exists or not. I’d still argue with him about the bible.
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im sorry you all believe that truly i am actually the bible can be proven more than even socrates or aristotle themselves. im not going to get into it though b/c thats just what you want me to do. honestly when i read this i cried no i dont hate you and im sorry that all you have known in the past is christians who do hate you thats not His way. just think about one thing does someone who let their own Son die for you sound hateful? i know your going to have a hayday with this comment and im ok with that.
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hey, where did I put my keys…
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@ Nick
Yes I’ve lied. To my mother in fact. She has Alzheimer’s a bit and if it keeps her happy I’ll continue to lie to her. If your God doesn’t agree with that then he doesn’t have much of a handle on human relationships. As for stealing. Yup, when I was young and naive. I stole a comic book and if I were given the chance I’d also cheat on my taxes. Never committed adultery but in hindsight, I should have. Some of those women were gorgeous! Now I’m divorced. Oh well.
If your creator is going to banish me to Hell for these inconsequential things then I have to say that your God is a very petty God. I’m far more likely to think that he’s annoyed at all you Christians for begging, sorry, praying to him on Sunday; his day off; to quote George Carlin. Wasn’t there something about resting on Sunday?
You’ve come here to tell us off for not being believers but I can assure you that we are very well equipped to dispute any argument you may have. You don’t have to like it, it’s simply the truth. That’s more than you can say because you don’t have a physical shred of evidence to prove otherwise.
I don’t do this for joy either. I do this just to open the eyes of people who have been hoodwinked by lies and false truths to the point that they don’t know right from wrong. The joy I do get is seeing just how many other people have got it right.
How did the universe come into existence? Well, we’re figuring that out. Why did it happen? We don’t know, yet. But we will. That much is a given. We’re insatiably curious and one day, maybe centuries from now, we will find out just why and if it turns out a God caused it, cool. But that still begs the question, who made God?
One quick thought before I go to bed. Did you know that pretty much all Atheists like all the other Atheists? Have you ever noticed that pretty much every denomination of Christians barely if at ll tolerates and sometimes hates other Christians? Weird, eh? I wonder why that is. So much for turning the other cheek.
You belief system is part of a dying breed. More and more people want to see tangible, scientific proof of things, not the hearsay from a book that was originally written thousands of years age to explain the world to them in terms that they could understand and also control them.
You would be well advised to start reading a lot of encyclopedias. Scientific American would also be a good start. Get with the program. Your thinking is very out of date.
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I beg to differ with Griffin7890 – the illiterate, ranting ones are much more fun. This oily, daddy-knows-best condescension makes me puke.
For is it not written in the holy book: “that which emergeth from the rear end of a pig is of value to the wise gardener, but that which issueth forth from his mouth is but a bloody nuisance”?
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#84 – standing for something
I’m glad you stand for murder. “does someone who let their own Son die for you sound hateful?” YES! If you were a parent (or perhaps you are) and you saw someone doing something you thought was wrong, would you kill your child to make sure that person was forgiven? What is wrong with you people? How can this seem okay to you?
Following this thought process leads to ideas like “People are having sex without being married, let’s kill all the innocent!” The only reason this planet isn’t stuck in the dark ages is because people learned to reject your religion and think logical, enlightening thoughts. Your religion is killing humanity. Our only hope is that your religion dies before it destroys the planet.
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#84,
That just sounds like a bad parent.
And I have no clue in the world how that’s supposed to benefit me. But then, god is totally unpredictable, I mean, acts in mysterious ways.
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I suggest you fit yourself with an aluminum foil hat to block the aliens from controlling your thoughts, Nick. The odds of this happening right now are greater than the BuyBull being 90% accurate.
Have I sinned? Sure, but I still consider myself a good person. Any god who lets the evil going on in the world to continue shouldn’t be able to point fingers, anyway!
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I agree with DavidH – the illiterate chav written hate mail is so much more enjoyable! It’s hilarious to pick out all the spelling mistakes and create a mangled badly written paragraph of shite. This DOES mak me want to puke.
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@standing for something
“just think about one thing does someone who let their own Son die for you sound hateful?”
now when you mention it, it does sound hateful.
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Dear Christians,
We Pastafarians are a kind and peaceful race, and I kindly ask that you leave us alone, for you see, in your religion the messages and values promoted are peace, equality, and to respect thy fellow man. Well, this is what we believe, so kindly go fuck yourselves.
There is no more evidence to prove the existence of god than there is evidence to the existence of power rangers or unicorns. We have evidence, and I think that you are just jealous of the supreme awesomeness exhibited by us Pastafarians.
One last note.
You Christians may not realise as you are blinded by your ignorance, however your intolerance is systematically recreating an entirely web based version of the holy crusades, in which greedy Christian fuckers slaughtered all who opposed/disbelieved in Christanity, so, grow the fuck up. That is all.
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Very sophisticated drunk driver/strawman argument! Congratulations! The problem is, your strawperson’s actions, inactions, failures or regrets have absolutely nothing to do with the rest of your conclusions about Christianity.
Now, if a deity reached down and saved all the victims of stupid or criminal human behavior because it would be a nice thing to do, I for one would be pretty impressed. If the FSM did such a thing would YOU be? I doubt it.
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@ standing for something (#84) Says:
“im sorry you all believe that truly i am actually the bible can be proven more than even socrates or aristotle themselves. im not going to get into it though b/c thats just what you want me to do. honestly when i read this i cried no i dont hate you and im sorry that all you have known in the past is christians who do hate you thats not His way. just think about one thing does someone who let their own Son die for you sound hateful? i know your going to have a hayday with this comment and im ok with that.”
WTF? Evidently you missed the lessons about punctuation, spelling and capitalization. If it was your intention to torture me, you succeeded! Just reading your post was as close to hell as I care to come. Please, please go back to school before you come back to here.
RAmen
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LOL @ post # 40 (ebenrazer)
“I am sorry, but you all have been misinformed about the pastafarian hell. The beer is cold, the strippers beautiful as well as in heaven.
In hell your mug has a hole and the strippers don’t.
RAmen brothers (and sisters)”
And also @ “standing for something” who I guess is Nick coming back; why should this make you cry? Most people replied to the letter by saying that even though they don’t share your belief, they do try to be good people and make the most out of their lives. That should be the most important thing. If all that matters to you is whether someone shares your beliefs or not, then that just shows what you value in people.
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Firstly, while I think the message is a bit condescending with its assumption that christianity holds the ultimate truth value regardless of if you are a theist or not, I don’t think this guy means any harm, I actually think he thinks he’s trying to help. This is probably the obvious of course. What I do find interesting however is the suggestion that ‘we non-believers’ do our research. This is interesting because of a few point he makes. Aside from the usual ‘damnation’ and guilt rhetoric used as a devisive tactic, this ‘Nick’ guy points to our “eternal soul”. If he were to take his own advice and do his research on his own religion he might realise that the idea of an eternal soul is not only at odds with modern science, but also at odds with the Judeo-Christian tradition. Indeed this dualist approach is a Platonic one which was adopted into Catholicism later on. Traditional Judeo-Christianity cites the soul as inseperable from the body, with the eternity part of the theology involving resurection into a material form – not a spirit form. Of course this isn’t really any more probable than a spirit in the first place, but it is at least not at odds with the mind-brain reality of modern science. At any rate, again it is interesting that such “experts” fail to understand even the most basic theological principals of the religion they claim to follow. Not only scientifically illiterate, but theologically as well. I think while Nick is trying to do good he sorely needs to take his own advice and research his Bible.
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Nicky Nicky Nicky, remember when mummy and daddy told you about how Santa doesn’t exist and how upset you were? Well they just didn’t want to put you through it all over again with the ‘God’ story. Sorry mate, there, there, have a little rest and when you wake up the world will be exactly the same as it was when you believed in magic a little invisible man flying through the sky with little invisble angels. Wheeeee, there they go, bye bye angels, bye bye jeebus.
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@Nick
I followed your suggestion and read the Holy Gospel and did what it said. I had a big plate of spaghetti and meatballs, washed down with mass quantities of grog and then went out pillaging. All and all, a most pleasant evening, thank you for recommending it.
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Nick, exactly what sin are we all guilty of? I wasn’t around in the “original days” so I figure I’m quite exempt from that accusation. As for your Jesus dying for my sins, well, since I was born about 2,000 years later in a country several thousand miles away, that’s not right either. Nobody has died for my sins and my sins are pretty small compared to what a huge percentage of your group has done. If you’re holding me guilty for something someone else did many centuries ago, think about it. Doesn’t it strike you as being just a little bit stupid? You might as well blame me for everything the human race has done since it’s inception.
Your thinking is very flawed. We Pastafarians are here primarily to point out the sheer idiocy in unfounded belief, and yes faith is unfounded belief.
Most of your ilk are totally convinced that your God looks exactly like the one on the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel painted 1,400 years after your Jesus. Why are there no; as far as I know; other pictures of him?
On another note, why are there so very many different versions of your religion? Can’t any of you figure it out? Which variant is the right one? In fact, there are so many variations of all the worlds religions that it makes me wonder if any are right at all. It certainly brings a lot of credence to this one, FSMism. Our religion is just as viable as any other and when you get right down to it, we here seem to certainly have a much higher moral and ethical standard to live up to than most of the other religions. You have that “Do unto others” bit but then all throughout your history you have had your Priests raping little boys and getting away with it. Christianity has such a long violent history that peaceful people like us Pastafarians have to wonder just why you would want to be a part of that.
You obviously get something out of your religion and we get something out of ours.
Your church spends billions of dollars on buildings for the “Glory of God” but everyday I see people starving. You go to church, put money on the collection plate and think you’ve done your good deed for the day. Wrongo Roscoe! You’re just feeding the monkey on your back, hoping to buy off your guilt for following a cult that has for years controlled and dominated the uneducated. Your church has a history of trying to control education. The Dark Ages ring a bell? This “Believe in my God or die” attitude has no place whatsoever in modern society. The only chance our population has in surviving is through education. That means learning and knowing as much about our world as is possible. When you’re starving to death, praying isn’t going to help but learning how to acquire food will.
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