What a great way to invest your time and I really appreciate your sense of humor. Sadly, there is a human emotion, or response called “regret.” For example, a drunk driver wakes up in a jail cell with no memory of the night before. He is walked over in hand cuffs to a “service window” and told he is being booked or vehicular man slaughter. It turns out he ran a red light, struck a SUV with a family of 5, killing 2 children under the age of 5.
The joy you receive running this web site is probably pretty big. I’m sure you love the ignorant hate mail you receive or the attention from other joy seeking worldly people.
My question to you is, do you consider yourself a good person? On the day of judgment when you’re standing in front of a Holy and righteous God, how will you fare? What kind of remorse do you think you, and others you may be leading away from God will feel when they are turn away from the gates of Heaven and cast in to the pits of Hell for not repenting for the Sin we are all guilty for? You have you ever lied, stolen or committed adultery within your heart?
I don’t honestly believe that you’re going to reply with some miracle response that says “yes, you’re right I will repent and follow Jesus.” Do yourself a favor. Do some research and really consider what you’re basing the fate and existence of your eternal soul on. If you decide to follow your current path, good luck friend. If you find yourself with even the slightest doubt of the certainty of your eternal soul then I suggest you pick up your Bible, read it and do what it says.
God Bless,
Nick
Good fun, at what cost?
Published by Bobby Henderson April 4th, 2009 in Hate Mail (and concerned criticism). 244 Comments
244 Responses to “Good fun, at what cost?”
Is it just me, or was that scenario with the car accident oddly specific in detail?
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When i get to the gates of heaven and i see god i shall quote the hitchhikers guide to the galaxy: God needs faith to exist and without faith he is nothing, so i’ll say “but now that you’ve appeared in front of me you’ve proved you exist there by your own rules i no longer need faith and thus you are nothing. God then replies “hmm i never thought” of that and promptly vanishes in a puff of a logic to be replaced by the FSM who says “good work when you die you get to go to the real heaven and delight in the strippers and beer volcanoes”. “That was easy” i say to myself at which point i go to that prove white is black and get run other at the next zebra crossing.
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You know what, we dont brainwash kids! You religon does bring them in with worship songs,worship toys,ect.. And so Jesus wont save the jews,butists,iup, and other religons just becuse we dont belive in him?? Thats just bloody stupid
RAmen
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I actually struggle to believe that someone used the term ‘research’ in relation to a religious issue. You dont research christianity, it just happens. ur enjoying ur life then BAM you get slapped with RE lessons and a mandatory short course in high school and thence forth u learn to treat it with the same contempt you would treat the mumps immunisation. christianity is the largest running con in the world today, think how easy it is to fool people today, imagine how easily lead people would be back in the days or yor when everything was black and white and people had toenail clippings for brains. you could so easily forge any one of the ‘miracles’ performed by ur prophet and the oppressed people living below the poverty line (ie all of them) would flock to this tiny beacon of hope only to find that it prevents u from doing anything fun in life, for elsewise thou shalt pay for thy sinnage maximum in the most boring and conservative ways. Seriously, if you thought u were that righteous u wouldnt bother ur time with this and just shake your head saying to urself ‘ha you may laugh now, but i shall forever enjoy first dibs on ur crackling as u roast upon the fires of hell’. seriously now, go back to ur false hopes at a marginally better option after you die, it might help you swalow the shit that uv been taking in your whole religious life, you brainwashed drone.
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I think I will start with the Old Testament… anyone know where I can find some rocks and a defiant child?
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Do I consider myself a good person, you ask? Well, I don’t mean to brag, but yes. I am a quiet, law-abiding, talented young citizen. I am chaste and glad to be so, I only stole once–which was by accident, and I returned the item within the hour–and I have only used (mild) profanity about four times in my whole life. I care about the future of the planet, and I am a firm believer in the virtues of love. I know that nobody’s perfect, though; by recognizing that I have been mean to people sometimes and regretted it, I have “repented” in a way, right? So how is my “immortal soul” in danger?
Hey, maybe this God of yours does punish people for not believing in Him. If that’s the case, then I’ll get what I deserve. I have no problem with that; I live in the now. But doesn’t that seem oddly harsh of Him?
By the way, I did read several portions of the Bible for a World Religions class. I came to the conclusion that the Bible is an utterly nonsensical piece of literature. Just my opinion, anyway.
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did the guy drive a MONSTER truck or something… i mean OK… if u hit an SUV with a “normal” car it MIGHT send the kids flying around the SUV but come on… the parents would be retarded for not strapping them in…
ANYWAYS back to the point….. if JC was around i can bet he would’ve been like… oh dad… i don’t believe in u i like my pastafarian brothers… buh bye
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Nick,
The thing is that the only god is the FSM.
Yaweh doesn’t exist.
Research on the making of this religion.
Then you’ll know where I’ll stand on the subject of meeting “God” when I die.
I consider myself a person who believes in a religion that you believe in.
I’ve felt his noodley appendage.
I’ve read the Gospel.
The same as you and your God, right?
May you be Touched by Him.
-System
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Oh my god…. I loved the bible… Of course i didnt read it… i ripped the pages out and used them to smoke weed… It was heavenly… ;]
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Last time I heard, the christian God was forgiving so he will understand if we don’t have faith in a load of shit.
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DEAR NICK,
You wrote:
“On the day of judgment when you’re standing in front of a Holy and righteous God, how will you fare? What kind of remorse do you think you, and others you may be leading away from God will feel when they are turn away from the gates of Heaven and cast in to the pits of Hell for not repenting for the Sin we are all guilty for? ”
“Your god seriously over-estimates his ability to intimidate me…whatever name you may call him.”
Original quote from
-TooferMan
feel free to use it whenever the situation arises.
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I want no part in a heaven that rejects good people on completely arbitrary grounds.
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now do you see why he made this religeon! look at all the hatemail and the people are saying like YOUR GOING TO HELL! this just shows you that if someone sees a religeon thats different from theirs they immedialtly criticize it. and i wanna thank every single FSM worshipper (I am one) for not being a shallow peice of shit like every one of those people who send hatemail to this site and again thank you
-billy black
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Why should I listen to people about what is good when they admit that they are inherently evil?
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“I suggest you pick up your Bible, read it and do what it says.”
1. What makes you think anyone on this site owns a bible?
2. Even if I did, I would have to kill myself for working on the sabbath, but suicide is a sin, so either way I burn in hell for all of eternity; Making Christianity a poor choice for me. But I will burn in hell for not believing anyway, so thanks for FUCKING ME OVER IN THE AFTERLIFE DOUCHEBAG, I appreciate it. What a great god you believe in…
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You just might have the record for assumptions in one posting, Nick. Let’s list the most obvious.
1. there is an after-life
2. there is a day of judgement
3. there is a “holy and righteous god” who gives a damn about our worshipping him
4. there is a heaven and a hell
5. Jesus is who to follow. Although I’ve come to the conclusion his existence is a myth, the
philosophies of the Christian faith are fine. Too bad more Christians don’t follow them.
6. The BuyBull is worth-while reading. Personally I think it’s a dated, badly written, contradictory
plagarized piece of crap, but to each his own. Do some “research” outside of letting the BuyBull
brainwash you, Nick. Find out why there’s no historical proof of most of your old sales pamphlet.
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Thank God I was raised by Atheists!
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@ 213 – billyblack
Cheers mate!
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Some of you may be thinking, “Why would I want serve a God who would send people to hell, etc?” or “I am a good person – I’ve only stolen once, I love others, etc.”
1) God created you, the world, and everything in it. He has every right to do what he pleases, whether you like it or not. It doesn’t matter how many times you say you don’t believe it, or how ridiculous you think it is.
2) None of any of the comments above surprise me, nor upset me, because the bible clearly states that many people’s hearts will be hardened – they refuse to see the truth because they are too in love with their current lifestyle to change. Or they think it’s a form of “religion” and is going to force them to be all holy and give up everything – not the case. The Bible also says that Christian’s will suffer and be seen as foolish for believing these things.
3) I was an atheist growing up. Becoming a Christian didn’t make my life boring, or force me to change my lifestyle. Honestly, my desires changed and I no longer found it appealing to drink heavily, curse, etc. (just some example of things specific to my life). I became so much happier (not that I wasn’t happy and loving my life before – I was!) because I wasn’t so focused on MYSELF.
4) Compared to God’s standard, whether I like it or not, I am not a good person. I may be better than my neighbor a couple houses down, or the dude across the street, for example, but when held up to God’s standards, I’ve totally failed! That’s why it’s so awesome Jesus died for my sins and made me righteous in the sight of God.
5) Why would God bother making people he knew would sin and then send His son to die a terrible death? Who knows for certain – maybe he wanted us to have free will? Maybe He wanted to do it to bring glory to himself so we’d praise him. Sounds selfish to some, but He is God (whether we believe it, hate the idea…doesn’t matter) and that’s fine with me!
He’s totally blessed my life :-) I’m not here to convert any of you, because only God can do the converting – I just saw this and wanted to share my thoughts :-)
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@Jess #219. Thank you for your post, I agree.
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”On the day of judgment when you’re standing in front of a Holy and righteous God, how will you fare?”
You’re claiming your God would be good. By what standard? His own arbitrary decision? Please. I wouldn’t yield to such a dishonest god even if he did exist.
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Nick – my question to you is if on the Day of Judgement you find yourself face-to-face with the FSM (pesto be upon him) and he wonders why you wasted your life as a sanctimonious jerk, what will your defense be?
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@ 219 – Jess – & 220 – Krista – ,
Can either of you really read the Bible? The standard English mis-translations do not say what the original says; they say what the translators thought they wanted it to say. There are known political and economic reasons why the original authors and editors wrote as they did, and if you can’t read the original, you have no clue what it really says.
Why do you believe whatever it is you do believe in?
http://www.sciam.com/podcast/episode.cfm?id=why-people-believe-what-they-do-09-04-10&sc=DD_20090413
RAmen
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Believer or bull leaver, I think we can, most of us, agree, that sharing some good pasta is a good thing. The thing about pasta is that it transcends all these disparities. The truly unfortunate ones are those who are allergic to gluten, wheat, tomatoes, garlic, parmesan, etc. But they are blessed indeed, because they have sacrificed most of all.
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@Jess #219
A very well articulated piece, even if it makes little sense. You said, “Compared to God’s standard…I am not a good person.” “…when held up to God’s standards, I’ve totally failed! That’s why it’s so awesome Jesus died for my sins and made me righteous in the sight of God.”
Do you realize that there is no reason for you to compare yourself to “God’s standard” (whatever you think that is) – that it would be absurd? Your god’s standard is impossible because you are in a state of sin even before you are born, according to christian beliefs. In this sense, sin is not even a result of your “free will.” It is inherent in being born a human. What nonsense!
And then, because Jesus died before you were born, the sin you were born with is gone and somehow you are righteous (virtuous) when god sees you? This is totally contradictory, you know.
Jess, I appreciate that you are entitled to your beliefs. I also appreciate that you did not come to our church’s web site to attempt to lure us away from the Pastafarian Path to the beer volcano. I only hope that someday you will be touched by His Noodly Appendage and be bathed in the warmth of His Sauciness.
RAmen
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Scare tactics like yours may work on those with weaker will behind their beliefs, but not us. What kind of person would it make you if you just broke down to religion’s attempt to scare you onto their side? Well, clearly these scare tactics have worked on you, Nick.
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@Jess #219
Jess, you really need to preface your points with things like “I firmly believe” and “in my opinion”. Stating something as though it is a fact does not make it a fact. God didn’t create anything, because god doesn’t exist. See how I stated that as a fact? Can I prove it? No. Can you prove your statements above? No. When you are stating an opinion, don’t pretend it’s anything but an opinion. People who make statements like yours are offensive because they purport to know All The Answers, but not one of them has anything beyond their own belief. You go ahead and believe whatever you like, that’s your right. But don’t let me catch you trying to get that neolithic nonsense taught as fact in any school that my taxes pay for.
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Wow. Gotta love how we’re associated with traffic accidents, theft, lies and adultery just because we don’t believe in your God, Nick.
Anyways, to answer your questions:
Yes, I do think of myself as a good person. I only lie if the truth hurts others, I don’t steal, I don’t commit adultery (I intend to save myself for marriage, actually. GASP. Atheists can do that!). If God decides to let atheists into heaven, I don’t mean to be smug, but I do believe I’ve got a chance.
Anyways, Nick, I find it odd to believe that if there is a God who loves all of us but he’ll only give us a pleasant afterlife if we do as he says rather than if we’re good people. Is it me or is that kindof stupid? “Everyone gets a chance at eternity, except y’all for not believing in me”, regardless of how they act. Someone who made everyone miserable during his lifetine but followed the Ten Commandments goes to heaven while a doctor who saved hundreds but didn’t believe in God goes to hell? Yeah, I find it hard to believe in that.
I’ve thought about who I “base the fate and existence” of my soul on, actually. I had a Christian education until my eighth birthday. There’s a fair amount of Biblical stuff I disagree on, and that’s only what I remember from when I was six. If I picked up a Bible and read it, I’m quite sure I’d find more things I disagree on.
Halelinguini, I’ve seen the light! I’ll be sticking with His Noodliness!
RAmen and may His Noodliness touch you and save your damned soul,
Pastafarean Gwen
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Well I took your advice I was most disappointed there was no mention of Dinosaurs in it and no recipes for tasty dishes that have plenty of carbs in it, still I did find this passage really disturbing 2Kings 18:27 “But Rab-shakeh said unto them, Hath my master sent me to thy master, and to thee, to speak these words? hath he not sent me to the men which sit on the wall, that they may eat their own dung, and drink their own piss with you?” It sort of put me off reading the Bible… it did it’s true. (Sticks out tongue)
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Plumberbob – in reference to reply #1…
You clearly have not undergone sufficient interfaith studies… remember, that if one is going to loot from somebody, it is only polite to really know what meaning they have ascribed to the object which has been dutifully transferred through rightful contract (e.g. they provide the object, you don’t skewer them… arrgggghhhhh…..).
Officially, after eating a ham and cheese sandwich, you only have to wash your clothes, and can’t pray again until sundown (Lev 11). This, of course, is a fate worse than death for many people.
Gehenna is for really bad behavior… like eating a ham and cheese sandwich on any bread other than rye.
Which reminds me… Atsap Revol… are the FSM’s balls pure beef, or a beef/pork mixture? How cheesy is he? Is the FSM kosher?
Does the FSM change into matzah meal noodles during the appropriate time of the year?
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Plumberbod (#223): now that you mention the ORIGINAL bible, isn’t it odd that it didn’t mention the resurrection of Jesus? I guess the early Christian church found decided later that their message needed a little punching up.
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I would throw god a beer. He and I would sit in front of the giant HD angel powered ( screw plasma!) T.V which he uses to watch the world and laugh his ass off with me.
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@Jess #219
None shall be blessed but those who gain the maintop by the futtock shrouds. He who cometh unto the maintop by the lubbers’ hole, shall be accursed and his bowels shall be devoured by meerkats.
I can spout this shit all day. You think it’s ridiculous; how do you think your stuff sounds to a rational person? The average guy thinks it’s somehow worthy of respect because it’s been around so long and because a whole lot of important-looking people in black robes keep on about it. Not so. Step right back and take a cool look – you’ll realise how damn silly it all is.
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OHH, I get it guys! Nick is God in disguise! I mean who else could be so sure about all that, AND be literate, hmmm?. God sure does sound a tad bitter though…
-RAmen
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@ 230 – Michelle – ,
They made the effort to “Loot” the book from those of us who can read it; they mis-translated it; they still can’t read it; they’ve used the mis-translation for two millenia to club us with it; they’ve abrogated all parts that might be difficult to follow; they added a codicil in another language that most of them can’t read; they conveniently lost that codicil after Jerome translated the whole thing to Latin.
Now’s the time to begin to afflict the comfortable, because they have no idea what the book they keep thumping really says. They are shocked by the message of love in the last three chapters of Judges. There are known reasons why the authors and editor wrote as they did, but the men in black robes don’t want the sheep to know about that information.
RAmen
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The funny thing about the haters is that they don’t understand that by not understanding they’re actually proving Bobby’s point. Nick, FSMism is just a way of showing that putting something in writing doesn’t make it true, especially in regard to religion. I’ve read the Bible (and studied it in college). That’s WHY I don’t believe it. If you don’t think the Bible’s stories are stupid, you’re not reading it correctly.
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@ 230 – Michelle -,
In my version, it’s Exodus 23:19 that prohibits the cheese sandwich, and just two verses later where ,”…he will not pardon your transgressions…”. That sounds pretty Gehenna-ish to me. How about that for irrelevant words taken out of context?
Sorry, I’ve been the last few days with Dr Dembski’s ID course literature from the seminary, as linked by Wench Nikkiee. The seminary students are getting academic credit for trolling and posting on our site, and I’m suggesting that Bobby charge them tuition for so using our college and the seminars we’re teaching.
RAmen
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@ 231 – theFewtheProudtheMarinara – ,
I’m only interested in the part written in Hebrew that I can read. The Greek part that was conveniently lost after Jerome translated it all into Latin, I’ve never been able to read.
The original Hebrew was as political a document as any that has ever been written.. It’s fun to translate, and separate the parts by various authors with their known political and economic positions. Of course there are inconsistencies; with different factions each writing their own versions, and an editor having to join four “sacred” documents none of which could be omitted.
RAmen
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Honestly, the people who run websites like this and support the flying spaghetti monster, do so as a parody, we dont honestly beleive a monster of noodles created life. It is making fun of all the people who believe in God, the one all knowing being that supposedly created everything there ever was. People running websites like this dont worry about that time at the pearly gates in front of god, because they dont beleive it will ever happen! THERE IS NO GOD!
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zombie jesus judges you!!!
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If “god” is all knowing, he would see past our foolish ignorance he will send us all to heaven. If i remember correctly from a really boring chapel service “you must forgive everyone for their wrongful sins” implying that judging is not welcome in any religion due to that fact that judging would be considered as sinful, therefor making God a sinner of his own religion, therefor he should be punished by people not believing in his religion.
By the way what date is “judgement day”
Also the bible isnt what its cracked up to be. But its really fun to colour in. lol
Rock on Flying Spag-Bog monster. Shame my Religion teacher doesnt allow me to do an assignment on the FSM.
Where is the proof that god is real. then i might consider
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The problem Atheists have with proving their logical point about the existance of god is that the retort always comes with such an illogical statement of pseudo-facts that we are quite often dumbfounded by the blind stupidity being shown by our fellow humans.
If I believed that 1+1 = 340 then I would be called stupid, but if enough people believed that 1+1 = 340 then the person calling the collective stupid would no doubtedly be called a trouble maker or indeed an idiot themselves. Just because a collective believes something is true doesnt necessarily mean that it is true. So in a case with numbers we see a certain misconsception of a natural system that is tangable. Let us take it onto a human written subject. Humans are prone to err. So in a text that was -TRANSLATED- whereupon ambiguous words could easily be taken the ‘wrong’ way are mistranslated, what type of fool must believe so blindly in such a text and not expectin the slightest to be thought of as an idiot. But of course this oh so wonderful text has clauses for us hard hearted logical thinkers which this marvellous god seems to despise. I did not think hate was such a divine attribute. I am not trying to tell you there isnt a god, I am just trying to show a clean logical argument for faith in a man made text.
Interestingly enough, this faith based apon an ancient text is so stubborn and illogical that sects of it will forbid the use of condoms, despite one of the most devastating diseases in this world being transmitted by procreation.
Logic will prevail.
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Nick, kindly go fuck yourself.
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Was this guy the drunk driver or the victim?
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