well you really have people fooled

Published March 31st, 2009 by Bobby Henderson

well you really have people fooled bitch, er. i mean, bastard, errr….Bobby!

you are obviously a satan whore who hypnotises kids into believing in this shit. do you burn down noodle restruants too? does bobby mean “douche bag” in “pussyfarian” or i mean “pastafarian”?

i hope you proud of your self douche bag, you and who ever created “jedism” and “invisible pink unicorn.” go get fucking laid instead of worshiping your next meal!

Jesus will have no mercy on you fuckers and you will be stuck on earth during the apocacalypes.

heres the real 8 commandments of “pastafarians”
1. i will be a fucker every day
2. i will stay single until i am laid by the fsm
3. paint useless pictures of naked men being “touched” by a hunk of noodles.
4. do my self
5. worship noodles
6. fill kids mind with shit
7. blow off christians
8. most important! burn in hell like a constipated jackass

–F



266 Responses to “well you really have people fooled”

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  1. Piet "De Paus" Hjárdejafjõrdegr says:

    “well you really have people fooled bitch, er. i mean, bastard, errr….Bobby!”

    HAHAHAHA, that’s a really funny joke, F. I can’t believe how incredibly owned Bobby must feel.

    “you are obviously a satan whore who hypnotises kids into believing in this shit.”

    Erm… Dude, stay off the LSD.

    “do you burn down noodle restruants too?”

    No, they are sacred.

    “does bobby mean “douche bag” in “pussyfarian” or i mean “pastafarian”?”

    OMG, another one of these clever puns!

    “i hope you proud of your self douche bag, you and who ever created “jedism” and “invisible pink unicorn.””

    I hope Bobby’s proud of himself as well. He deserves it for creatinmg such an awesome religion. George Lucas and Steve Eley may be proud of themselfs too.

    “go get fucking laid instead of worshiping your next meal!”

    I’d rather do both, if that’s OK with you.

    “Jesus will have no mercy on you fuckers and you will be stuck on earth during the apocacalypes.”

    Lucky for you, the FSM isn’t bat shit insane, and you will go the the afterlife as well. There will be (stale) beer and (infected) strippers for you too.

    “heres the real 8 commandments of “pastafarians”
    1. i will be a fucker every day”

    I thought that is a christian commandment?

    “2. i will stay single until i am laid by the fsm”

    Does that mean you were laid by your god (and were single before that)?

    “3. paint useless pictures of naked men being “touched” by a hunk of noodles.”

    Does that mean you paint pictures of naked men being “touched” by an invisible bearded guy?

    “4. do my self”

    If you mean masturbate by that, then yes, every now and then.

    “5. worship noodles”

    Yep.

    “6. fill kids mind with shit”

    Another one that seems to belong in the christian commandments.

    “7. blow off christians”

    Does that mean you blow off pastafarians?

    “8. most important! burn in hell like a constipated jackass”

    Let’s assume you’re right, and your insane, bigoted, power-hungry god is real. In that case, I’d rather be in Hell with other normal people then in heaven with the bunch of inbred genetic defectifes you people claim will go to heaven.

  2. ChiSailor says:

    I know he’s a semi-literate zombie-jew worshiper, but damn, I work on pirate ships – do these people have any idea how well women love pirates, particularly those of us who run around with knives, rope, chains and a willingness to use them?

    I love my life.

  3. Joe Marinara says:

    I see your god has taught you to “love thy neighbor” none too well.

  4. Lioss says:

    Do you really know your religion?Jesus will have no mercy..hahaha!
    Remember what he said about the adulterian woman.

    Incredible,a pastafarian forced to teach chriastianism to a christian.You should read your holly book more carefully.

  5. sosondowah says:

    I have to admit, I didn’t enjoy reading this hate mail nearly as much as I did the previous one, the one that just said “TWAT”.

    Oh, and I didn’t know that constipation causes you to burn in hell. Furthermore, be glad that your puny god doesn’t consider misspelling a deadly sin, or you’d be in wee bit of a trouble.

  6. Arve says:

    … What in the nine blazes is that, anyway? I seriously don’t understand whether this supposed hate-mailer is actually serious or really that stupid… My doubt comes from the blend of technically intelligent references to source-criticism, which the mailer gallantly neglects to apply to himself, or giving any sign at all of actually understanding.

    Another testosterone-laden pre-teen, maybe?

  7. French Pasta says:

    hey ! I am a french pastafarian and I don’t have any idea of what “douche bags” means (obviously this is insulting but I ‘d like to know how to replace it properly in a conversation). It will be nice of you if somebody could help me with that

    Sincerely yours

    Coquillette

  8. Fusillier says:

    Hmmmm…F…I wonder what that could stand for

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