well you really have people fooled

Published March 31st, 2009 by Bobby Henderson

well you really have people fooled bitch, er. i mean, bastard, errr….Bobby!

you are obviously a satan whore who hypnotises kids into believing in this shit. do you burn down noodle restruants too? does bobby mean “douche bag” in “pussyfarian” or i mean “pastafarian”?

i hope you proud of your self douche bag, you and who ever created “jedism” and “invisible pink unicorn.” go get fucking laid instead of worshiping your next meal!

Jesus will have no mercy on you fuckers and you will be stuck on earth during the apocacalypes.

heres the real 8 commandments of “pastafarians”
1. i will be a fucker every day
2. i will stay single until i am laid by the fsm
3. paint useless pictures of naked men being “touched” by a hunk of noodles.
4. do my self
5. worship noodles
6. fill kids mind with shit
7. blow off christians
8. most important! burn in hell like a constipated jackass

–F



266 Responses to “well you really have people fooled”

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  1. ex-Possible Convert says:

    “1. i will be a fucker every day”

    Well, not every day…but as many times I like.

    “2. i will stay single until i am laid by the fsm”

    Oops…too late, I’m already married.

    “3. paint useless pictures of naked men being “touched” by a hunk of noodles”.

    Would naked men being touched by bearded old sky-daddies do?

    “4. do my self”

    Now that is kind of hard to do, isn’t it.

    “5. worship noodles”

    Much more tasty than worshipping cadavers and blood (eucharist)

    “6. fill kids mind with shit”

    Far better than sodomising them, like many Christian priests do.

    “7. blow off christians”

    Christians would not want that, not even if we did. Is that not prohibited in your religion?

    “8. most important! burn in hell like a constipated jackass”

    That would only happen if God is a jackass vengeful shit with an inferiority complex and an urge to prove himself as a Rambo God. Enjoy your stale beer and STD-infested strippers in your afterlife.

    • Spammyboy says:

      In reference to point 4: My dad claims that he can. but he was taking the piss.

  2. Jochem Atteveld says:

    Hello F,

    Tell mommy to stop feeding you speed.

  3. spasticnutz says:

    Okay F, #1 Spell Check,Spell Check,Spell Check. Ask a grown up what it is and how to use it.
    #2 When your English teacher starts explaining punctuation and grammar to you, stop picking your nose and wiping it under your desk and LISTEN.
    #3 Be proud, you are a splendid example of Christian educational values.

    Thank you F for helping to make me feel intellectually and ethically superior to millions of people.

  4. ubidubikid #1 says:

    “you and who ever created “jedism””

    umm… George Lucas wasn’t it? I mean he didn’t realy expect people to start folllowing it, but then again, neither did Bobby…

    “go get fucking laid”

    well that sentence was incredibly redundant.
    not to mention some pastafairians are kids, and some are already married.

    hey everyone! let’s count how many swear words he sliped in that have no relevance to the message! I think my brain just imploded!

  5. Dan says:

    Hi F!

    Thanks for your lucid and constructive comments. Never, I mean NEVER, have I seen such a lucid and well thought out ad hominem argument.

    I’m convinced! I am a newborn lamb given to the shepherd Jesus and await the rapture with you. Hey, maybe we could be rapture buddies? Lets fly up together to join the vengeful Jesus. Won’t it be fun to watch with holy glee as the he brings oblivion to the earth and smites the sinners below (in his infinite compassion and mercy).

    Thanks also for educating me! I didn’t realise before that quoting sinful terms and concepts prevents the writer being tainted with them! I will, in the name of Jesus, gladly use other people’s words to call heathens, “fornicators”, “intellectuals”, “reasoners” and “pastafarians” all the while knowing I’m safe from being tainted for used the words myself!!!!

    F, an intellect such as yours can only have reched it’s present position by standing on the shoulders of intellectuals such as Ray “Banana” Comfort and Kirk Cameron.

    I “love you” (note the quotes, that stops me being gay right, because it’s someone else speaking).

    Dan

  6. Boarg says:

    I’m pretty sure it’s come up before but honestly, what’s wrong with worshipping your next meal? It is one of the few worshippable (?) things in life (apart from a good fling and a great guitar solo).

  7. Shelldigger says:

    Well, that is such an immature backwoods illiterate x-tian hate mail…
    Im not sure it is worthy of a thoughtful reply.

    “apocacalypes” LOL!

  8. Ed W says:

    Wow! With all that venom aimed at a made up religion, is it any wonder that some people hate real ones with even more rancor? He must have missed that whole “God is love” and “love your enemies” lesson in Sunday school.

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