really?

Published March 27th, 2009 by Bobby Henderson

is the church a joke? i mean seriously, FLYING SPAGHETTI MONSTER?? no offense, but what kind of a god is that? and he has bigger balls than our god?? …
-cassie



114 Responses to “really?”

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  1. Stewart Salveson says:

    Tell me about yourself answer. http://www.hotanswer005.com

  2. Malatesta says:

    Pardon my English, but I have to write cease an desist in defaming a divinity you have just discovered and failing to understand before you started speaking her. No wonder you call all criticism “hate mail.” What, you never heard of the Talmud? Is reflection and correcting hate mail?

    For decades we Al-Dente have worshipped a pasta divinity that may be yours. No importa, there is not enough room in the cosmos for the both of us. You must go or stop. We already have sixteen denominational churches–al-dente rotini, penne, spaghetti, linguini, rotelli, rotini, lasagna, stratacelli, macaroni, radiatore, fettucine, agnolotti, ravioli, tortellini, annelini and mostacelli. One denomination has been de-certified, so-called wagonwheels. What the hell–che fa? You can not just jump in and co-opt our “tutto” for whatever dubious motives you may harbor. You certainly can not come in, and where do you come off calling her a MONSTER of all things? You call our god a MONSTER???? You demonize a deity for seems strange and squiggly? Your mother taught you this?

    You are not even Italian. Madonna, if you want to worship a food of life pick mashed potatoes (not gnocchi) or peas and carrots, something you know in your own tradition? Why not a nice baked ham?

    Where did your creation stories completely ignore the role of dough, the olio di oliva, and the sacramental active ingredient, aglia or garlic? What of the second course of creation in the gut and from the gut? Too many spagettios in your past, your youth I fear, and too much ketchup or tomato soup on them?

    This monster you speak is remote and rarely sighted. For us this bliss is nightly affair, as close our own tongue and tastebuds, our alimentary track and metabolism. We may disagree over delectability one night to the next. But there is no mystery here. It means whose mother is better. And this is an objective fact. Mine is in all case, in all sauces.

    If pasta-making is not already taught in your sciences classes, as well as art, history, poetry and health, it is too late now? And why lower yourself to compete with a name like Darwin? Is she a Rinaldi or Buonavento? Is Darwin a pasta fradiavolo, Al-dente or otherwise? Shames on you. You live in a dream world if you think a Kansas can ever appreciate the subtle, the succulent divinity of pasta, ruinged by constant corn, soy bean an burger. Your living in fantasy. Wake up and watch out.

    With all due respect and admiiration and warning,

    Malatesta

  3. Momyr Andersson says:

    Our God has the biggest of Balls.

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