well you really have people fooled bitch, er. i mean, bastard, errr….Bobby!
you are obviously a satan whore who hypnotises kids into believing in this shit. do you burn down noodle restruants too? does bobby mean “douche bag” in “pussyfarian” or i mean “pastafarian”?
i hope you proud of your self douche bag, you and who ever created “jedism” and “invisible pink unicorn.” go get fucking laid instead of worshiping your next meal!
Jesus will have no mercy on you fuckers and you will be stuck on earth during the apocacalypes.
heres the real 8 commandments of “pastafarians”
1. i will be a fucker every day
2. i will stay single until i am laid by the fsm
3. paint useless pictures of naked men being “touched” by a hunk of noodles.
4. do my self
5. worship noodles
6. fill kids mind with shit
7. blow off christians
8. most important! burn in hell like a constipated jackass–F
well you really have people fooled
Published by Bobby Henderson March 31st, 2009 in Hate Mail (and concerned criticism). 231 Comments
231 Responses to “well you really have people fooled”
“1. i will be a fucker every day”
Well, not every day…but as many times I like.
“2. i will stay single until i am laid by the fsm”
Oops…too late, I’m already married.
“3. paint useless pictures of naked men being “touched” by a hunk of noodles”.
Would naked men being touched by bearded old sky-daddies do?
“4. do my self”
Now that is kind of hard to do, isn’t it.
“5. worship noodles”
Much more tasty than worshipping cadavers and blood (eucharist)
“6. fill kids mind with shit”
Far better than sodomising them, like many Christian priests do.
“7. blow off christians”
Christians would not want that, not even if we did. Is that not prohibited in your religion?
“8. most important! burn in hell like a constipated jackass”
That would only happen if God is a jackass vengeful shit with an inferiority complex and an urge to prove himself as a Rambo God. Enjoy your stale beer and STD-infested strippers in your afterlife.
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Hello F,
Tell mommy to stop feeding you speed.
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Okay F, #1 Spell Check,Spell Check,Spell Check. Ask a grown up what it is and how to use it.
#2 When your English teacher starts explaining punctuation and grammar to you, stop picking your nose and wiping it under your desk and LISTEN.
#3 Be proud, you are a splendid example of Christian educational values.
Thank you F for helping to make me feel intellectually and ethically superior to millions of people.
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“you and who ever created “jedism””
umm… George Lucas wasn’t it? I mean he didn’t realy expect people to start folllowing it, but then again, neither did Bobby…
“go get fucking laid”
well that sentence was incredibly redundant.
not to mention some pastafairians are kids, and some are already married.
hey everyone! let’s count how many swear words he sliped in that have no relevance to the message! I think my brain just imploded!
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Hi F!
Thanks for your lucid and constructive comments. Never, I mean NEVER, have I seen such a lucid and well thought out ad hominem argument.
I’m convinced! I am a newborn lamb given to the shepherd Jesus and await the rapture with you. Hey, maybe we could be rapture buddies? Lets fly up together to join the vengeful Jesus. Won’t it be fun to watch with holy glee as the he brings oblivion to the earth and smites the sinners below (in his infinite compassion and mercy).
Thanks also for educating me! I didn’t realise before that quoting sinful terms and concepts prevents the writer being tainted with them! I will, in the name of Jesus, gladly use other people’s words to call heathens, “fornicators”, “intellectuals”, “reasoners” and “pastafarians” all the while knowing I’m safe from being tainted for used the words myself!!!!
F, an intellect such as yours can only have reched it’s present position by standing on the shoulders of intellectuals such as Ray “Banana” Comfort and Kirk Cameron.
I “love you” (note the quotes, that stops me being gay right, because it’s someone else speaking).
Dan
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I’m pretty sure it’s come up before but honestly, what’s wrong with worshipping your next meal? It is one of the few worshippable (?) things in life (apart from a good fling and a great guitar solo).
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Well, that is such an immature backwoods illiterate x-tian hate mail…
Im not sure it is worthy of a thoughtful reply.
“apocacalypes” LOL!
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Wow! With all that venom aimed at a made up religion, is it any wonder that some people hate real ones with even more rancor? He must have missed that whole “God is love” and “love your enemies” lesson in Sunday school.
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Verreee interesting…. Ze master, Sigmund Freud, would have diagnosed ze trauma of ze pet hamster sexually abusing ze patient at ze early Oedipan retentive stage. Not curable, I think.
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“Jesus will have no mercy on you fuckers and you will be stuck on earth during the apocacalypes.”
Who is this Jesus guy you are referring to? All non pastafarian people are blasphemies who hold no significance over us. Only our noodly master is the one true God, we have a profit who says so and books to prove it. That’s good enough for me, and besides the direct correlation between the shrinking number of pirates and the rise in global temperatures is so obvious even a person of an inferior faith can see it. Good news the recent rise of piracy off the coast of Somalia has caused the average temp of the world to hold steady for the last 9 years. It’s a miracle, praise your noodly master!!
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Yes. A pastafarian painted that “naked man.” No other religion would be gay enough to display such images.
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We’re flattered that you think that Bobby is talented enough to paint half of the Creation of Adam by Michealangelo.
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Read the section “about” before you post, please
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Wow! What a hate-filled entry! I like how Jesus will have no mercy on us fuckers! That’s the Christian way, I tells ya!
RAmen.
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Best hate mail EVER! More fuel for the fire to show how “love, peace and forgiveness” aren’t always in the front of a “Christian’s” mind. Bravo, F, bravo!
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You do realize there is as much and/or less proof of your God as there is of mine? Jesus was nothing more than a man and The Holy Spirit is a chronic masturbator. And although I will overlook some of the filth in your typo ridden message, I will not overlook the misspelling of the word Apocalypse. Cut it out. If you want to be a fart in a jar, fine by me, but at least have the common decency to type like a big boy.
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Thanks for the Christian love, brother.
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Warrior Jesus declares war!
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And also with you.
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Holy moley, do you pray to your suspiciously quiet god with that mouth?
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Capitalization (or lack thereof)… check.
Vulgarity… check.
Gay sex references… checkeroonie.
Misspellings… oh sweet Spaghetti Monster, check.
l33t-speak… oddly, no.
Overall rating: Troll. But at least a mildly amusing one.
Recommendations: Immediate mocking followed by catapulting into a volcano.
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Um, how do constipated jackasses burn? Are constipated people damned to hell? Where is that in the bible?
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Way to stay classy! and do any other members here notice that it’s always the Christians that don’t get what we are doing? Is there a lack of education or deductive reasoning that makes them fail to grasp the significance?
Yaaaarrrr!
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It’s fake. Must be. No one can be such a moron.
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Another completely clueless moron fails to understand his/her own religion, and ours as well. One can only hope this person does not reproduce. It never ceases to amaze me how few brain cells people can have and still remain alive. Too bad this cretin will never be able to have an intelligent discussion with anyone, but then that’s really almost a prerequisite for someone displaying this level of ignorance.
RAmen
ET
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Yea boy, I sure am a brainwashed lunkhead.
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HAHAHA!!!!! are fucking kidding me?! this is the funniest shit i’ve ever seen. i neither support this fsm religion or any other but seriously!!! haha what is this shit some sort or delusion mixed with a pasta fetish. lol. but seriously i read this shit and laughed so hard i nearly pissed my pants. HAHAHA. i came across this while i was looking at debate topics. man am i lucky to have this bullshit. i REALLY needed a good laugh. haha. you fuckers are hileroius. later
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Surely there’s better hate mail than this. Bobby can you please give us the good quality stuff, this is just lame.
ramen
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Wow. How original!
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Hey F,
I already responded to you on the thread where you first posted, so I am not going to repeat myself.
However, now that you have been honored with your own thread, I wonder if you will come back to defend your piece of literature or you will be a coward hit and run like most of our trolls.
RAmen
PS: You may want to put the meth pipe down for a few hours and go see a psychoanalyst. This degree of obsession with sex is not normal. You need to open up to someone about your Freudian repressions.
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Wow, that’s a lot of hostility you are dealing with there, F. Do you kiss your bible with that potty mouth?
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HAHhahhaHAhaHaaHHAaaaaHahahaHAHaaHaHahhaA
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
first legitimate laugh I have ever laughed via internet
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“well you really have people fooled bitch, er. i mean, bastard, errr….Bobby!”
HAHAHAHA, that’s a really funny joke, F. I can’t believe how incredibly owned Bobby must feel.
“you are obviously a satan whore who hypnotises kids into believing in this shit.”
Erm… Dude, stay off the LSD.
“do you burn down noodle restruants too?”
No, they are sacred.
“does bobby mean “douche bag” in “pussyfarian” or i mean “pastafarian”?”
OMG, another one of these clever puns!
“i hope you proud of your self douche bag, you and who ever created “jedism” and “invisible pink unicorn.””
I hope Bobby’s proud of himself as well. He deserves it for creatinmg such an awesome religion. George Lucas and Steve Eley may be proud of themselfs too.
“go get fucking laid instead of worshiping your next meal!”
I’d rather do both, if that’s OK with you.
“Jesus will have no mercy on you fuckers and you will be stuck on earth during the apocacalypes.”
Lucky for you, the FSM isn’t bat shit insane, and you will go the the afterlife as well. There will be (stale) beer and (infected) strippers for you too.
“heres the real 8 commandments of “pastafarians”
1. i will be a fucker every day”
I thought that is a christian commandment?
“2. i will stay single until i am laid by the fsm”
Does that mean you were laid by your god (and were single before that)?
“3. paint useless pictures of naked men being “touched” by a hunk of noodles.”
Does that mean you paint pictures of naked men being “touched” by an invisible bearded guy?
“4. do my self”
If you mean masturbate by that, then yes, every now and then.
“5. worship noodles”
Yep.
“6. fill kids mind with shit”
Another one that seems to belong in the christian commandments.
“7. blow off christians”
Does that mean you blow off pastafarians?
“8. most important! burn in hell like a constipated jackass”
Let’s assume you’re right, and your insane, bigoted, power-hungry god is real. In that case, I’d rather be in Hell with other normal people then in heaven with the bunch of inbred genetic defectifes you people claim will go to heaven.
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I know he’s a semi-literate zombie-jew worshiper, but damn, I work on pirate ships – do these people have any idea how well women love pirates, particularly those of us who run around with knives, rope, chains and a willingness to use them?
I love my life.
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I see your god has taught you to “love thy neighbor” none too well.
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Do you really know your religion?Jesus will have no mercy..hahaha!
Remember what he said about the adulterian woman.
Incredible,a pastafarian forced to teach chriastianism to a christian.You should read your holly book more carefully.
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I have to admit, I didn’t enjoy reading this hate mail nearly as much as I did the previous one, the one that just said “TWAT”.
Oh, and I didn’t know that constipation causes you to burn in hell. Furthermore, be glad that your puny god doesn’t consider misspelling a deadly sin, or you’d be in wee bit of a trouble.
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… What in the nine blazes is that, anyway? I seriously don’t understand whether this supposed hate-mailer is actually serious or really that stupid… My doubt comes from the blend of technically intelligent references to source-criticism, which the mailer gallantly neglects to apply to himself, or giving any sign at all of actually understanding.
Another testosterone-laden pre-teen, maybe?
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hey ! I am a french pastafarian and I don’t have any idea of what “douche bags” means (obviously this is insulting but I ‘d like to know how to replace it properly in a conversation). It will be nice of you if somebody could help me with that
Sincerely yours
Coquillette
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Hmmmm…F…I wonder what that could stand for
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Please write us again, I could not stop laughing for the last 10 minutes
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Here are the 10 commandments of Christians:
1.Idolize a selfish, violent god and be narrowminded about other religions.
2.No god-damn fucking swearing or God will strike you with lightning. But you broke that one already.
3.Ruin your Sundays by worshiping a giant non-existant being in the sky so you don’t have to take responsibility for your actions.
4.Honor the people who slept together to create you, because that night they humped eachother was holy.
5.Do not hurt other people, even though some of you enjoy killing in the name of God.
6.Don’t sleep with someone who you aren’t married to. Even though you just married them because they’re good in bed.
7.Give your will to someone. If they don’t accept, push it upon them until they have to.
8.Do not lie. Tell the truth, ESPECIALLY if it crushes the soul of the person you aren’t lying to.
9.Don’t attept to live the American dream or better yourself.
10.Ditto. Wanting stuff is a sin, so bleed every time you want something. You’ll stop one day.
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i still go for strippers and wine…i quit beer because i was afraid to get a beer belly…still like the strippers though.
Speaking of! the other day I went with my bf to a titty bar…I think i found the strippers that will be “entertaining” the non-FSM-believers. They were boring as hell!!! er. I mean, heaven…
big asses, big titties…small brains.
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Rampant cussing, grammar and spelling errors, aspersions on our sexuality, apparently sent by a Xtian: it’s a classic!
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Many of you have not read your holy book, either. In chapter two, section three,, last Q&A on page 64, Bobby Henderson clearly states, in response to the question “What about atheist and the followers of other religions-heathens-will these people go to Hell?” by saying “No, but they may not be allowed into the best areas of FSM Heaven…”
Also, as is stated somewhere in the forums, only the truly bad people go to FSM Hell, with STD/VD infected strippers and stale beer, such as murderers, and people who break the serious Eight I’d Really Rather You DIdn’ts.
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Fooled? What are you talking about? If you had bothered to read our “about us” section, you’d see that we are completely up front about our beliefs and intentions. Do you write hate-mail to the creators of South Park condemning them for “fooling” people into believing that Jesus runs a public access show out of Colorado and Satan was engaged in a gay love affair with Saddam Hussein? Honestly, try reading a little bit, and you won’t find yourself “fooled” so often.
-Sarah
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I thought about trying to define this piece of American street language for you but you’re right, it’s insulting, and I’ll just give you this link which lists many pages of definitions:
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=douche+bag
RAmen
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F,do you think your saviour Cheesus was homosexual? I only ask because he never married and liked to sleep rough(dogging?) with many men who had large quantities of facial hair.
If Cheesus and his special friends came back would they be like The Village People? I always thought ‘You Can’t Stop The Music’ was a better song than ‘Y.M.C.A’, what song do you think Cheesus preferred?
Or maybe he preferred scat.;-)
Also, I shit on your outdated skygod and his poorly written, error strewn, contradiction filled, hateful bible.
Now kindly fuck off.
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wooooooow. you know F, you’re completely right. this changed my whole perspective on shit !! if you get to treat people like that i’m gonna be a christian !! look out people with different views as me im coming at you !!
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@ French Pasta # 10. The term “douche bag” is a reference to a device used to clean a vagina. Being a guy, I’m not entirely sure if this thing actually ever existed or if it did, how a woman would use one. It is basically a derogatory term used as an insult. Hope that helps you out. I have found that it is generally a phrase used by the less educated.
Here I am enjoying a great spaghetti dinner with a really good beer and I run across this idiots rant. I almost had noodles come out of my nose. If I wasn’t so comfy right now I’d have a really nasty response. I guess that’s just the noodly ones way of saying “live and let live’.
Ah, there’s nothing like having a full belly of really good pasta and beer. I’m sure you’ll all agree.
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This was one of the best ones yet, Bobby. Love it.
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Bobby hypnotizes kids into believing this shit? So he’s a lot like Sunday school teachers and youth pastors?
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the flying spagheti monster sucked my dick !!!! REALLY !!! I woke up yesterday and there he was ! sucking my dick than balls ! then he totally licked my ass !!!!then he did a blow job !!!! it was creepy but great !!!!!!! I freaking loved it !!!!
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Hi jen #8. You support neither FSM or any other religion, you claim. FSM is a deity, not a religion. So do you troll the websites of all religions and call them names? How about the one worshipping zombies and having a fetish for plus signs? What is a “hileroius”?
Why don’t you work on your spelling and grammar and social manners and then come back for a chat.
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I cannot figure out why all of you christians say that we hate your god. You are all missing the point of this whole thing, it was brought up so that if schools were being made to teach ID to students then they would have to teach our theory as well. There is also just as much evidence that our noodly master was the creator as there is of your god.
pasta be with you
Ramen
-evan
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OMG yesterday night a great pasta appeared to me and started infiltrating in my ass it felt so good im gonna join that fucked up “religion” right now. God. Is this website the HQ of retards? I mean, come on! Pasta? Pasta was created by MEN YOU ARTARDS GO SUCK YOUR PASTA LIKE DICKS
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I just understood: this religion encourages being pirates and cirminals! Yay I know the truth
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How disappointing! This rant started out so funny, I thought it was a satire. Sadly, it degenerated into a tired pastiche of a zillion other previously published rants. Good heavens! Save your time and energy F, and give them both to your local soup kitchen.
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Wait wait wait. So, we can do all of that (sounds like jolly good fun to me) and the punishment will be we don’t have to live for eternity with a self-harming, self-killing, self-righteous son of a bitch and his mass-murdering racist, sexist, slavery-promoting and egotistical father?
Sounds like a good deal to me. Have fun in your afterlife, i’ll be getting hammered at the beer volcano. ;)
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If I was 8 years old I would prefer to be touched by a spaghetti monster than a pervert priest who is sexually deprived and has gone loony because of it.
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And nuns, and the Secret Protestant Recruiters. Don’t forget the Secret Protestant Recruiters. I can’t stand that. At least the Jehovah’s Witnesses are respectable and keep it out in the open. And the Catholics and Jews don’t even try.
RAmen. And Hallelujah.
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this guys needs a sense of humor… no wait… he christian.. forgot they cant get one; god thinks its a sin probably
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What the hell is the “apocacalypes”?
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Damn. For a second I thought Bobby had managed to fool our friend F. I guess F is one helluva lot smarter than I’ve given F credit for being.
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i noted your number 3- paint useless pictures of naked men being “touched” by a hunk of noodles.
but christians paint “not-useless” picture of naked men being “touched” by another old, naked man?
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I’m not convinced this one’s real.
If it is, it’s definitely one of the hardest fails thus far, in both the logic and grammar categories.
I love hate mail… how entertaining. :]
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@ 24 – Pacific Pam
What more could you want in a wench? Big ass, big titties, small brain – unless she thinks pasta is an aphrodisiac.
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@ French Pasta:
En anglais, quand on utilise le mot “douche,” on implique que quelqu’un se lave le vagin. Le “douche bag” contienne les dechets. Je ne sais pas comment l’expression traduirait en francais, mais peut-etre vous m’eclaireriez?
rAmen,
HP
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These hate mails ar soooooooooooo funny I almost pissed mysel fucking Christian retards
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“you will be stuck on earth during the apocacalypes”.
So we have a “Left Behind” fan, eh? Yeah, the Rapture is going to just zoom you bodily away before the earth blows up. Sounds logical to me. Say hello to those Heaven’s Gate eunechs in their space ship behind the comet for us!
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What’s with all this “errr” and “umm” stuff? It doesn’t add to the quality of your rhetoric, it just makes me think you forgot your keyboard has a backspace key.
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Coliquette- “Douche” veut dire le produit hygenique utilisé pour se laver le vagin. Quand on ajoute “bag”, il veux dire une personne qui sont pire que un “asshole”, mais meilleure que un “motherfucker”.
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apocacalypes…hmmm…let’s pronounce that, shall we? A-po-kaka-lipes. Um, I don’t get it.
Enjoy your stale beer and infested strippers, my unfortunate friend.
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i cant believe some of the comments you so called Christians have left lol did i see one of you ignorant fucks call him a “twat” lmao he has just as much proof saying the “FSM” created the earth as you blind ass holes have saying “god” did it. give me a break the funny part of the hole thing is seeing how you “Christians” talk…. did you go to church and ask for forgivness after you said that nastey shit. I see a couple comments “filling young childrens minds with fsm garbage” WHAT!!!! so fill there heads with lies of an invisible man that created life in 6 days…….!!!NEWS FLASH!!! EITHER WAY YOUR LYING TO THEM……bottom line fsm is bullshit, god is bullshit. you want something to believe in…heres an idea beilive in yourself
signed Laughing My Ass Off
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Coquillette:
The simplest meaning of “Douche Bag” would be “Vagina Washing Device” it may not translate well.
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Come to think of it, the title of this love-mail (i’m a slightly optimistic person) is among the most ironic things I could imagine.
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This guy has spent too much time firing off a batches of knuckle children. There is more to life than writing idiotic rants with terrible grammar & spelling – just wondering Bobby why do you have so many idiots writing hate mail as they obviously have not figured out the joke. Come on when will this guy ever get mentioned by Richard Dawkins & The New Scientist?
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Every time you swear you may an angel cry you bad man. Now change your diaper and go to bed.
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Wow. This is why you should pass an intelligence test and have proof that you ARE above 10 years old before using the internet.
Do these people not read the idea of the FSM? Maybe they do. It blows me away how some people can be so ignorant.
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@ 20 – French Pasta
This is an explanation of “douche bag”…thought it might be helpful, arrrrrr!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Douche_bag
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Wow. It still amazes me how literally these people take FSM.
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You know that saying the wrong thing and then correcting it is one of the most unfunny ways that jokes can possibly be made, right?
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This guy is so cool. I’m blown away by his coolness. It’s like he’s radiating cool from every pasty fiber of his body.
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@ Anti-Conformist
No, no. You can have unmaried sex all you want, the biblical definition of Adultery is having sex with another man’s wife. As long as no one claims her she’s fair game :P
Also note this fits in with some of the handy advice in Leviticus, if you own a woman and her daughter pick one and don’t sleep with the other. (I wish I was making that up.)
-Apostate
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I just have two things:
1. I had no idea that a constipated jackass would burn in hell.
2. I don’t think I’m the only one here in saying that I would LOVE to be laid by FSM (imagine what could be done with all those noodley appendages).
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I can’t tell whether this is real or a fake. But it’s hilarious Bobby.
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Dear F,
I believe everyone has a right to voice their opinion in a respectful, yet passionate way. By voicing yours in the manner that you did, you not only were exceptionally disrespectful, you made yourself come off as a hypocritical, bigoted low-life who doesn’t deserve to walk the face of the planet.
If you want to get a point across, honey catches more flies than vinegar.
May you be touched by his noodley appendages.
Have a beautiful day!
Reverend Carlene Jackson
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Bravo! That was a magnificent example of pure hypocracy! Do you talk to “God” with that mouth? I don’t think he’s up in your paradise heaven building a statue to commemorate you. Nay. “Jesus “is rolling in his grave. This is not what he wanted for the “children of God”. I think he wanted happiness and peace for everybody, no matter who they were or what they believed. So you go head and be angry with your uptight, lowbrow religion, and we’ll enjoy our lucid and irenic views.
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If you put all the words in quotation marks do you get a secret code?
douche bag pussyfarian pastafarian jedism invisible pink unicorn pastafarians touched
ok mebbe not
shame – the rest of its so full of crap i thoguht it was a clever rouse
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Foolish mortals!
You anger me with your small brains and inferior abilities to mine, in 2011 i shall come, and if i do not come then it will be some other time in the future..most likely never
chow chow :) Xx
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Look guys I’m not a pastafarian and of course I’m a different religion. I’m Catholic. I think that if the pastafarians wat to believe in the FSM then let them. They have as much evidence as we have of our God. We all have friends who rpobably might not agree with us. I have a friend named Bentley. He’s a Pastarian but I can accept it because he’s my pal and I’m the kind of guy that would risk his life saving a friend. I’m just a 15 yr old boy yet i plan to risk my life for a friend who is not only a different religion but also a different race, will you do the same? I have been through a lot in my lifetime and I even tried to kill myself (didn’t work out to well…) but I’m still alive, why? I don’t know but if I went through my screwed up life and live you guys can live together just stop rejecting this group of people. I mean like seriously this isn’t freaking High School is freaking Life (not the game) so step up and be a man. Stop your stupid self from figting a meaningless cause. we all said we seen God. We all said we seen the Flying Spaghetti Monster but no one believes each other so let’s calm down and forget this all. Maybe then I can come back and not see a whole section for hate mail.
Thanks for reading,
Thomas Bui
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Im a strong christian but that doesnt mean I cant find this funny
I love it
Ps
for people who say you’re going to hell
its not your decision
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Wow — this person *totally* makes me want to convert to Christianity! Or Islam! Or whatever religion it is he represents! The charm, the warmth, the power, the well-spoken manner — where do I sign up?!
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Hi, me again.
I showed it to my dad, he is a chief police officer. He says that you can be charge-
Jim (Rachel’s father):You can be charged with dibesia (You made something so people wouldn’t like it) I have showed it to Judge Creg Avina, and he would like to make a trial.
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Get laid… are you married? because usually Christians are as ignorant as you are and I believe one of their rules is to NOT HAVE SEX UNTIL YOU ARE MARRIED. Dumbass.
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“Stop your stupid self from figting a meaningless cause.”
What’s meaningless about keeping fairytales away from science classes? Compared to your noble cause to brainwash as many people as possible, we win.
As for tolerance: Whenever someone is giving me a religious pamphlet they are saying: Your faith is distilled BS whatever it is, have a copy of mine. So much for tolerance.
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I kinda find it funny too :D
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This letter couldn’t be any more correct.
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RE: Crazy Catholic Azn (Like 3 comments up)
First off, i want to thank you for accepting our religion. you are a very kind person thanks! Just one thing, when you said
“I’m just a 15 yr old boy yet i plan to risk my life for a friend who is not only a different religion but also a different race, will you do the same?”
I think that’s great but first of all, why does it matter if he’s a diff. religion or race? I mean, it shouldn’t matter if he’s a diff. race OR religion. I mean, almost no one who’s not crazy is going 2 say “No i wont save him because he’s black.” I think you’re just being a little bit egocentric. anyway I was just saying.
And in regards to your attempted suicide. be safe, we only have one life to live so live it well. I thank you and good bye
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Why that’s not a very Christian attitude or the type of speech that Jesus would use…
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wtf who who would send hatemail about fsm? losers
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Seriously, I’m in 7th grade and my grammar usage far surpasses your own. It’s really not that difficult to pay attention in 3rd grade reading. If you want anyone to ever take you seriously you may want to consider learning to use grammar.
-R
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To #56: the answer is yes, it is a joke. And the joke is on YOU. Keep worshiping your bronze age myth, I am sure that makes more sense than pasta.
To #57: This religion does not threaten people that they will be thrown into flames like withered branches for mere thought crimes.
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“you are obviously a satan” there’s more than one? That kinda goes against christianity.
“do you burn down noodle restruants too?” No, we’re pastafarians and noodle restraunts are imprtant institutions.
“you and who ever created “jedism” and “invisible pink unicorn”" yeah, all following in the same vein as Bertrand Russel (genious!) with Russel’s teapot.
Grow a brain, look at what you’ve said and then crawl in the corner and cry.
FSM bless!
Anon
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I can’t seem to weed my way through all the misspelled jibberish to understand the message this person is trying to get across!
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Well that’s not very Christian of you! Seriously though, I don’t think I’ve ever heard a more hypocritical remark. YOU need to read the bible, man. I do believe there’s something in there about loving thy neighbor… and I feel like swearing at them and telling them to f*** themselves isn’t what Jesus had in mind.
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In reference to #3 of our supposed commandment… who painted the original picture?? Who was in place before His Noodliness magically claimed the position? You must’ve loved some naked man on man action in a cathedral to get so offended about the picture. Moron.
I’m sure your bearded man in the clouds would appreciate your usage of naughty language and clear expression of #1-ism. Hell, he may have gotten a kick out of it, considering (from what I’ve heard from religious nuts) God placed the dinosaur bones to test our faith. He’s a tricky one, that God. What a jerk. If he’s not… then enjoy #8-ing, you hypocrytical whiner. You were most likely #4-ing yourself while typing your hate mail in hopes that #2 will come soon.
It’s a shame that my state had just passed the ridiculous law to teach your garbage in our schools. By doing that will forcibly promote #6 and #7 on all of our children. Help save Texas from becoming doomed!!
I’m going back to #5-ing now. *Nom nom nom*
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“Paint useless pictures of naked men…” IS ABSOLUTELY BRILLIANT! I mean… ROFL brilliant!!! It denotes (lack of) understanding on so many levels that I can’t even begin to describe them.
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Wow i have a special certain hate but it is not for the founders of FSM… it’s for the assholes who feel they are greater than the rest of the world like this asshole. I personally like that FSM exists, i also appreciate freedom of religion and fuck anyone that attempts to strip fellow mankind of that right.
with much love,
Jonny
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I think Michelangelo will disagree with number 3.
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ohh ya well your going to hell becuze you know swear words. and if you ever find time in your biziy scwal of crsing out other thots plez read the eate id rather you didnts thar ALOT niesr than the 10 comndments 1 belv in me or ill fuckn pop a cap in yo ass 2 be a dick to eny one who dosent think like you 3 torment gays 4 wach the 700 club biy it biy it 5 no killn eny one eksp in wars to make me more im portant 6 no rapen enless thay thik difitly 7 dont make fun of the ten comand mets 8 even if not sead in here its alwas a sin 9 other relgons never are rite 10 IM JEST AS LIKLY AS A FUCKN SPGITI MONSTER
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Dear -F,
You should be aware that a wacko has stolen your name and is sending moronic e-mails with it.
Thought you should know.
RAmen
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WWJD? I would think Jesus would be horrified to think this kind of person was claiming to be one of his followers. Thank FSM I’m not a christian and associated with the likes of “F”!
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@#94 Rachel Says:
“You can be charged with dibesia (You made something so people wouldn’t like it) I have showed it to Judge Creg Avina, and he would like to make a trial.”
dibesia???
Which country are you in Rachel?
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there is no sin in for believing in what ever you want to believe.
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Whoever wrote this “well you really have people fooled” article: Really dude? This sounds like something that an angry fourth grader would write. Really. You are making a fool of yourself and you look very dumb. Your mocks of the Eight “I’d really rather you didn’ts” sounds so rediculous. “…constipated jackass” “Do my self” “…be a fucker everyday” This sounds like something that a nine year old would say in a very high pitch voice thinking that they could gain respect from others by sounding cool by swearing but really you don’t know what the words mean, nor how to use them in a sentence correctly. People can believe (or not believe) anything they choose to. Believe whatever you want to dude but you really sound dumb and look rediculous trying to make fun of people for not believing in your almighty control freak, God.
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Just once…just once…I would like to see some hate mail with a little thought behind it.
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sounds like someone hasnt had his spaghetti today or seriosly needs laid sam concernd fsm worshiper
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Potty-mouth! Fill with noodly goodness and chew chew!!
RAmen
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I’m not a fucker :(
Oh wait…
Nope still nothing
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hahahahhahahahahaahhahahahah this “fool” has some real issues. and atleast we don’t worship what someone told 2000 years ago. before modern science, before and decent society,before the enlightenment of pastafarianism,it makes me sad that you still be believe in me even though i have converted into pastafarianism. and these are now my people, not you savage christians that leave “hate”mail. wasn’t my message against hate? and here you are mailing it off. thats why i like pastafarians better, they are polite. and being the case it is now the christians that are going to be left in the “apocacalypse”…constipated and sad.
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who ever send comment number 111 please take a chill pill. and learn to spell. no offence meant but you can’t criticize hate mail with swearing and miss spelled words and all that weird stuff. this is a message of concern not offence.
in a noodilified way,
-dylan(jesus)
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What an intelligent young man. Such a nice chap spreading all of that christian charity and love around.
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thats your arguement? thats your insults? you fail at life.
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I am a 15 year old Christian who understands the satire involved with the FSM. However, the fact that you can’t organize a well structured sentence and constantly refer to others as “douches” is appalling. Your mastery of the English language is atrocious, your manner is atrocious, and frankly, if I were an omnipotent being with control over your life, I would make sure that every waking moment you experience was one of misery and pain. I am pretty sure that three of the commandments listed by you are followed by yourself, i.e., 1. I will be a fucker every day
6. Fill kids mind with shit
And, of course,
8. Most important! Burn in hell like a constipated jackass
However unintelligent you may portray yourself to be, your faith based upon stupidity would of had some value had you not betrayed every Beatitude known in the Bible. You are a hypocrite, and the irony in your hate mail far exceeds that of this website. This may be hard to explain to someone as recalcitrant as yourself, but there are only benefits and burdens to society. You my friend are a burden. I would take it under advisement to dig a dark hole, blow your brains out, and succumb to the darkness that is your life.
Thank you for proving every point that The Church of the FSM is trying to show- that religion is illogical and that those who believe it are illogical. I, myself, am an extroverted exception- but enforcing my opinion would have betrayed my intelligence.
Forever yours,
Alex Carroll
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I’ve got two words “FUCK OFF” if you don’t like our religion fine fuck off don’t complain to us about it. go talk to your god surely he’ll have the answer. wow mate settle down i don’t waltz into your church and scream “you really got people fooled cunt i mean Jesus” see that would offend people im not like that I’m a loving guy and if i choose to believe in the flying spaghetti monster thats my choice not yours.
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Glass houses. I do love how this person truly believes that they will go to heaven when they can not follow the basic rule of “Love thy neighbor” (Just be careful about loving thy neighbor’s wife).
I always find it humorous when “Good Christians” swear and cuss someone one for not being the same.
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don’t correct words you typed to be funny you silly bugger, it’s not funny and your not cool
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Oh dear. I think someone woke up on the wrong side of the trailer today!
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All I can say is, HA!
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Remember: the great FSM has blessed you with a brain to use. If it is not nurtured and fed with His Noodly Goodness, it will rot away and cause you to send moronic emails which portray you as an ignorant half-wit.
…
Uh nevermind…too late :\
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i hope he doesnt pray to jesus with that mouth
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Isn’t that a direct quote from the Bible “Jesus will have no mercy on you fuckers”? I think it is. :)
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ok why are you saying that i can’t spell? i spelled everything right. grow a brain dumbshits
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Why is it always constipated people?
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Wait wait wait. Apocacalypses? I renounced my faith thinking there was only going to be one apocacalypse I was going to have to go through. This is unfair.
Also, aren’t christians not supposed to be sex driven? Isn’t “Getting laid” sinful and adulterous? And making crude puns that call people pussies is NOT meek. I have to say, I think you’re going to be in hell with the rest of us constipated jackasses.
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Dont christians preach that only Jesus can judge? the term hippocrit comes to mind. nice potty mouth btw, im sure your Jesus would be real happy with you.
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Its what is known as a parody, and as most of the ‘concerned christians’ keep telling us that we are going to burn in hell for our evil ways, unfortunatly I don’t believe in your God or your heaven or your hell so its a bit of an empty threat.
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Happy Jesus on a stick day, everyone! I prefer mine with a nice peanut satay sauce. How do you like yours?
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Who the fuck eats Jedi’s and invisible pink unicorns??
Praise his noodly appendage RAmen
P.S – sorry FSM, but i laughed really hard at that 3rd commandment… don’t hold it against me your noodlyness ;)
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That’s some good ol’ christan love for you!
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Hey, cool tips. I’ll buy a bottle of beer to the person from that forum who told me to visit your site :)
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This topic is quite hot in the net at the moment. What do you pay the most attention to when choosing what to write ?
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? This “-F” person clearly has excrement on his mind, not to mention inside. The copulatory terminology alone tempts one into wondering what christianity is really all about. These hate mails have me so confused about how “righteous” they are.
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lol god sends constipated people to hell?!
and also lol at how this person only believes in god because of the fear of going to hell.
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Oh, woe to the beasts of burden who do not eat their fiber! Down to the pit with those who would suffer irregularity of the digestive system!
Can’t you see all the braying mules sitting on the hot coals, yowling about their stuck bowels?
RAmen
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This is the best of all the hate mails. I love this guy. Oh, it’s so funny to see people getting _this_ angry and even think they are doing as the bible says. No real christian would’ve written such a letter. I’m still laughing.
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no, that is not Christ’s love. sadly, Christians have a hard time showing that. I even do. and just because your “Christian” doesn’t make you a Christ-follower. and Julian is right. a real Christian wouldnt right this. Not to be paranoid or anything, but I feel like some people may come on hear and pose as Christians and be jerks to make Christians look bad.
I apologize for all the Christians on here that don’t act like Christ. and I am sorry when i dont either.
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J, I am yet to see one that does.
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Why are those who claim to be Christians the worst spellers on this website? Is it a complete lack of education or is organized religion – specifically Christianity – an excuse for stupid people to congregate and find solace?
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I think this poster get an F- for his interesting interpretations of reality. A+ for the rant, however.
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My friend. Just because the almighty meatballs of the FSM are bigger than your gods, this is no reason to become upset. Also, spaghetti is food for the soul and we would never burn down a spaghetti restaurant. (If anyone see’s this -F guy, I say we should shove pasta is his mouth and down his throat until the sinful beating inside him stops)
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I’ve gotta be honest, this is pretty funny. He has a good point. I could see Bobby being 400 pounds and obsessed with pasta. Do we have any pictures of him…? OMG! BOBBY DOESN’T EXIST!!
I have figured it out. Bobby is a fictional person invented by the FSM to further His will. It all makes sense now.
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So you’re what 12?
You were clearly indoctrinated to hating other religions from a young age, you don’t understand how religions have they’re own ideas, you don’t understand compassion, forgiveness, treating others as they should be treated, I don’t think Jesus would like you; especially as the first person he told that he was the Son of God was a samritan woman, and the parable of the good samaritan. And you blame pastafarians for filling kids minds with, as you so nicely put it “Sh*t” when you are too blind to see that the same happened to you.
Terribly sorry if you feel I’ve been rude, but it was incredibly offensive what you werote to people you don’t know nor have ever met. Which is illogical.
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By the way, to the apologists: you are in no position to say that our friend “F” is not a Christian, just because you don’t like his style. I guess you would claim the conquistadors and the crusaders were not Christian either.
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what ever happend to love thy neighbour
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You admitted that FMS is real in the real 8 commandments. “I will stay single until i am laid by the fsm”. If those are the real commandments then how do I get laid by a non-existent deity? I can’t, that would just be silly, so you must be saying he is real.
RAmen
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i never really understood why you Christians think anyone that believes in anything other than your in my opinion some what flawed religion is going to hell. if you god is as kind and loving as you say (which i doubt) he would understand that we love him and are worshiping him in our own special way and send us his children into heaven. you however will be banished to hell forever to drink stale be and be stuck with STD infested hookers for you inability to accept your brother and sisters differences you judgmental bastards.
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This is just ridiculous. He called DaVinci “a useless picture of a naked man”.
Uh?
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Okay, as a reponse to the 3rd so called comandment of pastafarienism, I say to you, That picture was origionaly a christian picture, painted by DaVinci. so think before you type.
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I thought that the original painting is a small part of Michelangelo’s Sistine Chapel work.
RAmen
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Oy, fellow Pastafarians! (Specifically, posts 159 & 160, Jessica and Wil) Michelangelo! Sistine Chapel! The Birth of Adam! ‘Tis not a DaVinci!
(Sorry, I get a little worked up about art. But really, there is huge difference between Leonardo and Michelangelo, and we’re all smart enough to keep our renaissance masters straight, are we not?)
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Wow. Thats some pent up sexual aggression.
touched
noodles
get laid
do myself
Stay single till i get laid
naked men
blow off
pink unicorn
It’s called Psychological Projection, look it up.
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So does that mean everyone who can’t poop is going to hell, regardless of their beliefs?
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WHY ARE YOU AND EVERYONE ELSE SO MAD AT THIS SIGHT!!!! Of course it is a joke. It is to show how even something as stupid as this can be made off these kind of facts sort of like how your religion was created o wait and can u give us any proof that these events happened and that these miracles took place….no…that’s what I thought….So until you have some proof that I can see SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU RELIGIOUS PRICK
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“The real ten commandments of christians”
No buddists, jews, muslums, etc.. only ME!
No little statues..er…idols
No gays (so how bout the Ah-men?)
Holocasts and holy wars are ok, but only against other religions
God loves you
Other religions burn in hell
Do something wrong, burn in hell
Just go burn in hell
Cheesus is your saivior, so i killed him
THOU SHALL NOT EAT OWL!
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F, I’m assuming is for “Failure to Grasp my own beliefs.” It is apparent you are an angry Christian (it seems like there are several of those appearing on this site to attack the FSM and His Word) who doesn’t even understand his own religion. In fact, this entry is for all the anti-Pastafarian Christians who attack with violent language and threats, such as our friend F here: Jesus said “Love thy neighbor as thyself.” Now I have been a Christian for several years (most of my life) before I began to question the Church and look for my own answers, so I know most of the arguments that will be used. However the only one that the church, as it was taught to me, should give is “read the Bible and decide for yourself, we are here to answer questions.” Forcing religion down others throats is against the very beliefs you are shoving down their throats.
Regarding our friend F’s language, IF Jesus is the right choice, when you stand in front of him, he will look at your language on this site, and I’m sure everywhere else in life, and say that you are the perfect example of a hypocrite (who, if I remember, Dante puts in their own level of Hell) have fun.
RAmen
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its funny that people say they know how christanity is real when there it is suposed to be baced of faith wich means you dont know and you bealeave in it for no reason
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About number 3 I think being touched naked by spaghetti would be better thanthe original of two naked men touching
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Dear Christian
what i think you are missing is an open mind, your attitude of ‘Im correct and everyone else is wrong’ isnt going to get you anywhere, this is something i think that all christians dont understand, everyone has a choice i what they believe in.
i am an athiest and i therefore do not believe in god, i also do not believe in a flying spaghetti monster, but i have a sense of humour and so id rather believe in a yummy flying marvel that an egotistical man/woman who floats about the universe creating things in his/her image.
i can uderstand that you might want to believe in god because your’e scared of death but seriously why swear. i also like how your mind when writing those commandments can only span past constipation and the word Fuck. please if youre going to make fun of people use more colourful vocabulary and random. Peace out y’all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
by Alex
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That was either one pissed off fundie, or some of the sweetest metal lyrics I’ve ever heard.
a. Satan whore may be the best band name of all time
b. References to fire and brimstone – check
c. Gratuitous use of curse words – fuck and yes
d. Homophobic manly chest thumping rhetoric – done and done
Now all we need is some leather shoulder pads and some kickin’ guitar solos.
I’ll bang my head to that
Eek!!
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What’s the opposite of ditto?
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This guy is so well informed about the apocalypse that he renamed it the apo-CACA-lypse. What the fuck is that? Does he believe we are all going to get shitted on by some gigantic explosive diarrhea shower from “God”?
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/quote “heres the real 8 commandments of “pastafarians”
…
2. i will stay single until….” /quote
From http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Celibacy :
“The view of the Roman Catholic Church is that celibacy is a reflection of life in Heaven….”
I think I’m going to submit to FSM, beer and strippers is MUCH more appealing… although… 40 virgins in the afterlife if you subscribe to Islam doesn’t sound bad either…no beer though… any other offers?
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I know that the fundie obviously took it seriously, but that was the funniest thing that I’ve seen today. “Burn in Hell like a constipated jackass”… That’s good stuff. What sin has the constipated jackass committed? Lack of fiber, I guess. So according to his god you burn in hell for eating too much cheese… Well, at least his post was amusing.
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He gets laid… a lot! ;D
I know because of my learnings.
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It’s pity that the people who write these comments never think before they do it…
“you are obviously a satan whore who hypnotises kids into believing in this shit.”
- Okaaaaaay. Let me ask you some questions:
What are our chldren forced to read when they’re too young to fight against it – is it a)the bible or b)the FSM-gospel?
What are our children indoctrinated with since they enter kindergarten – is it a)the “dear god” or b) the almighty Flying Spaghetti Monster?
Man, go get a brain!!
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Ha ha ya know Ive never before have been able to understand how someone could take part in genocide but I think this guy would b e a prime target for their recruiters
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“Satan whore may be the best band name of all time”
I think they’re opening for Alice Cooper right now aren’t they? If not, they should be.
In Love and Pasta,
Pastafarian Taco
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Does our kind and most gracious aggressor not realise that “the naked man” is part of his religion. Obviously the Sistine Chapel in the Vatican City, the home of Catholicism, is not included in his vast knowledge of the religion he preaches.
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‘Burn down noodle restaurants’?? Do you burn down churches?
Half of what you say doesn’t make any fucking sense. Do you have a language called Christian-ese? Oh, right, you do… no wonder you’re so hard to understand.
I don’t get where you connect worshiping the holiness of Pasta to prostitution, hypnotizing childre, ‘being a fucker’ (WTF?), being single, painting pictures, having sex with ourselves (again, WTF?), and constipation. But maybe the translation from Christian-fundy-babble just didn’t translate accurately. Seriously, what did we do to piss God off so much? All we do is like noodles. To determine our fate based on whether we worship the guy…man, God must be one egotistical being.
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Well it isn’t like the Christian church hasn’t had people fooled for centuries…..oh wait….Yes they have!
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HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
I love thsi psuedo religion. Since christians criticize and don’t realize its a satire of their own religion. These comments should be on failblog.
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at least our religion hasn’t started a war…
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well, I can tell that you are definitely a good influence on your kids. Do your children follow your faith? Would you let them convert if they asked too? Because it seems that you despise all of us who don’t follow Jesus. So, if your kids were following a different religion, what would you do? Because I’m pretty sure that taking away their civil rights, their HUMAN rights, is worse then realizing that other religions have some sense to them.
P.S. Jimmy Page was a Satanist. He didn’t turn out to bad.
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Isn’t the entire human race made up of “fuckers”? Because, I mean otherwise, the entire human race would die out. Just sayin’.
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Eh? Helloo? He left out pirate regailia
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I didn’t feel like reading all the comments before mine (so much hate-mail, so little time) but he said a satan. Is there more than one that I was not aware of? And, how dare you sir! You neglected to mention all the great sexual innuendo! His Noodliness just has a much better sense of humor than your, bastard jew zombie vengeful mass-murderer child. Here’s to hoping that you find His Noodliness, that His noodly appendage touches you, and you might gaze upon His meatballs.
Ramen,
GM
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diiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiick
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“Jesus will have no mercy on you fuckers and you will be stuck on earth during the apocacalypes.”
1. Look at you, you’re certainly on a roll with all this swearing, but remember, if (your) Jesus inexplicably came down from Heaven and saw you typing that, what would he say?
2. There will be two apocalypses?
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Jesus will have no mercy on you fuckers and you will be stuck on earth during the apocacalypes….really? Using Jesus and Fuckers in the same sentence and we are the ones who will be stuck on earth durning the apocacalypes?
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Blow off Christians? Sounds like someone is hoping for a freebie.
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And more than one apocalypse? Makes sense these days as it’s all about the sequels.
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Jedism. I believe that’s the worship of the head of the Clampett clan. Followers wear broken down old hats, don’t shave very often and dance stiffly. Favorite saying” “whee, doggie!”
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“worshiping your next meal”
What exactly was it that the disciples and Jesus ate at the last supper? Oh, right, the body and blood of the Christ. And what do people eat during Communion every Sunday? The body and blood of whom they worship…
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apocalypses?
by the second one we’d be dead
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He has probably taught far few children this than the christians have done.
you can’t prove this wrong so why should it be treated upon less than christianity from an outsiders point of view?
Everyone here complains about how stupid this is when really it is just taking the stupid from a well developed religion and exhagerrating it into something that people see as stupid. therefore what the really see as stupid is what is actually just another form of Christianity.
Do these haters see Christianity as stupid?
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Kid-hypnotizing satan whores?
What is this, the OReilly show?
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Good to see you taking the moral high ground F. Flying the banner of tolerance for “god” eh?
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sweet! i didn’t know we had hypnotic powers!
Ramen
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Maybe you should brush up on ur bible urself – didnt god say something bout – DOnt judge others, for it is a sin, and those who judge r seen as sinners in gods eyes
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Really? I’ve got nothing.
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isnt it a a sin to swaer…
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Ohhhh lordy, da miiiiiiighty jeebusss gon get us aaaaawwwwllll..He will showeth no mercyyyyy when he leaveth us all stranded during the manyyyyy apocacalypes…. easy guy, you sound pretty ridiculous. I dont know which was funnier “pussyfarian” or his new “real” commandments.
Comments-
4. do my self
-dangerous, try using a spotter or a helper to ensure safety.
6. fill kids mind with shit
-better then what your preists fill kids with when no one is looking
……zzzzzzzzzzzzzinnnnggg
RAmen
-dave
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Is there more than one Jesus? I’m no expert but it seems as though there must be at least two. There’s certainly Jesus from the stories that appears calm and generous and embodies good Jewish values. Yet the much more prevalent and popular Jesus seems like a disrespectful assclown that would be better personified by an arrogant and ignorant redneck. I like the nice Jewish version of Jesus better, but why does everybody else seem to prefer the asshat verson…?
There’s only one FSM, and he never worse ass as a hat. Your Jesus seems to do that a lot.
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What the heck is an apocacalype? And how many of them are there?
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honestly? i love this. i love it soooo much. you have NO idea :D
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Yeah, it sounds like you’re going to be saved by your God. This is just another example of a pathetic loser giving himself false hope about his useless life.
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Hahahahaha. All I can say is that I hope the “F” he signed his name with stands for Fatface.
But really though! So much anger!
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im 14 and go to christian school ive had teachers say actually all sins are the same ive herd all this bull shit about how you will burn in hell as well i now know by the ignorance of the “christains” at my school that god is not real they will rant about other religions but once somthing touchy about their god comes up they go ballistick message to all of you GROW UP
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one more thing im 14 im pretty smart sir but how do you burn in hell and stay on earth during the apocolypse at the same time? im pree sure u can only be at one place at one time
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Hate mongering us absurd, and stating that your god will have no mercy is a might strange a mortal dictating what an immortal/all powerful (not t mention the god of love and forgiveness, I remember reading that somewhere between genesis and revelations) but all in all FSM is what it is, an example a supremely good example of if christian beliefs must be favored over those of the pagans (Me) or the Jediist, then why not FSM?
OH and just for fun Christmas that wonderful holiday is a pagan Holiday also known as winter solstice
‘Ta
Malak (its arabic for angel)
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ZOMFG, filling kids’ minds with shit… and what makes the other stuff not shit?
BIBLE- Because I Believe Literally Everything
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Hey F!
You do realize that that ‘Useless picture of naked men being touched by hunk of pasta’ is really ‘The Creation Of Adam’ which was painted micalanglo(hardly a ‘pussyfarin fucker’), and it really shows your god in the place of the fsm, right?
We just kinda photoshopped His Noodleness in there.
so before you bashing people becouse the don’t belive the same stuff as you, you might want to learn enough not to call the man behind one of the most famous paintings in all of history the useless scripplings of a jack-off, cus that just makes you look, well, like a jack-off.
I hope you will someday you’ll find inner peace with yourself
FSM bless
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whats all this focus on getting laid, i mean it’s really not that hard.
your mom was quite willing after i drugged her with the pills..
oops maybe i should have left that part out
*tee hee
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BOBBY has people fooled?? By insisting science stick to facts?
If you want to really find out who’s selling a bill of goods, try to verify some of the facts in
the BuyBull, F. You’ll see it’s the Greatest Story Ever Sold.
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aden, I thought it was a swear to sin, not a sin to swear…. I could be wrong…
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3. paint useless pictures of naked men being “touched” by a hunk of noodles.
wow genius that was painted by michaelangelo (sp) and the fsm was just photo shopped in.
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I can’t get through this one without cracking up. Hell, I can’t read it sitting down; I inevitably, at some point, fall off my chair.
What are you on? Pot, crack, random pills, booze? ‘Cuz I’d really like to know how I can get my mind that unbelievably incoherent and fucked-up.
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heres the real 8 commandments of “pastafarians”
1. i will be a fucker every day- But of course, fucking feels good
2. i will stay single until i am laid by the fsm- Staying single is a choice, if he wants it that way then so be it
3. paint useless pictures of naked men being “touched” by a hunk of noodles- as apposed to naked men been touched by older naked men
4. do my self- otherwise known as “masturbation”
5. worship noodles- as they taste good
6. fill kids mind with shit- Somewon has to, but then TV and christian knob-jockeys have that covered.
7. blow off christians- as they suck and build horrible looking needlessly tall buildings they use ONCE A WEEK
8. most important! burn in hell like a constipated jackass- if you are bad enough like Adolf Hitler current Australian (as an australian, totally justified to say this) and former Australian Prime Minister Keven “Krudd” Rudd and John “Bush kiss ass” Howard.
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“3. paint useless pictures of naked men being “touched” by a hunk of noodles.”
….. you know what that painting is right? Right??! I mean… okay, now there’s the FSM where once there was a guy that kinda looks like Santa wearing white… ring any bells now??? If you don’t recognise that painting and realise what an ass you make of yourself in using that image and said nakedness of the male subject as an example of how “useless” this movement is, then let me enlighten you (through the wisdom of the noodly one):
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:God2-Sistine_Chapel.png
You know where the Sistine Chapel is at least, surely? At very least you must know who’s chapel it is?? Which religion even? Anything?
I suppose by association you’re also labelling Catholicism and every offshoot of that as “useless” too? I may be inclined to agree with you there, although not on the basis that it uses nude imagery…
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ohmygosh really wow as if people couldn’t get any more annoying me personally christians and catholics annoy me i was brought up to be catholic and starting from a very young age it all sounded like made up bull shit to me. SHOW me personally YOUR god, your heaven your hell and then I will believe if you can’t come up with that physical evidence then shut the heck up! if they want to believe in this let them be i also think you are a fool for thinking about god and the fact that it is a MAN i call god an IT! why because no one has ever seen god you cant say its a man or woman. We have our own heaven and hell here on earth dumbass, and who the heck cares about life after death! its pointless life gives you purpose to do things because you never know when you will die. your stupid so called commandments of pastafarians is just pointless.
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Can’t anyone come up with a sereous philosophical debate I can actualy respond to without them making fools of themselves and asking a large group of people to help them acheive this on a grander scale?
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Sounds like quite the good Christian right there.
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How very mature you are!
1. i will be a fucker every day
Cant help it, I’m just such a badboy.
2. i will stay single until i am laid by the fsm
Damn, I better break up right now!
3. paint useless pictures of naked men being “touched” by a hunk of noodles.
Just as useless as every single christian picture ever painted. And you know what that picture originally is, right? A naked man being touched by a fictional character, who you call your god..
4. do my self
Who doesn’t?
5. worship noodles
Nothing wrong with that, they’re freaking delicious dude!
6. fill kids mind with shit
Every religion does that ;)
7. blow off christians
I respect them, as long as they respect me and doesn’t speak words of crappyness and lies.
8. most important! burn in hell like a constipated jackass
If hell did excist, I most certainly would. Just too bad it doesnt :)
Since you swear and judge others, you’ll be going to hell too, if hell really does excist.. We can burn there together! It’ll be awesome! Cya there.
-RAmen
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To, -F
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
I really think that you have the right idea. Le’ts all be angry and use lots of profanity!! That will definatly make the people with whom we disagree come around. And if we spell everything we type incorrectly, then it will make people think that we are just an average guy! This was a brilliantly concieved arguement.
Please, please stop talking. There is absolutely no reason for you to ever have another thought, and DEFINATLY no need to share said thought if you can’t keep it down.
Stop being an ignorant bastard,
An adoring fan
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Hm. You know, I wonder why people confuse us with Satanists.
Satanists worship Satan.
The glorious ones known as Pastafarians praise the FSM in all his noodly wonder.
Satan =/= FSM.
Then again, this kid is clearly lacking intelligence. Notice how he thinks he’s being funny–”*blank* or, should I say “*blank*?” is a horrible comeback and should only be reserved for those old movies that nobody likes anymore.
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Ok, dude, chill out.
If you actually studied your OWN religion, you would know that it doesn’t promote this crap. Study your religion. REALLY study your religion, and then reread this and see what you did. Because telling others what to beleive is infringing upon their own right to oppinion. EVERYONE has this right, even though people don’t like to admit it.
Sigh….
History is fun because you can learn that Jesus was a Rabbi, who’s main goal seemed more along the lines of creating reform Judaism.
So I think that if you ACTUALLY beleive that God would punish people for beleiving what they want, then you are really hypocritical.
Just remember:
The internet is the product of those who wanted a good way to spread information. The sites on the interent are a product of people who wanted to exercise their right to freedom of the press.
You can’t take that away, so yes, you do have the right to say/think that.
Doesn’t mean people will like you for it.
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lol oh man! why is it that everytime an IDiot makes a comment they contradict themselves? “go get fucking laid instead of worshiping your next meal!” – isn’t sex before your married forbidden in your religion? “you are obviously a satan whore who hypnotises kids into believing in this shit. do you burn down noodle restruants too?”- why is it that when someones religious views are different than yours you quickly pass it off as Satan worshipping or that Satan influencing us to destroy the minds of children? i think there is no greater evil in this world than organized religion personally. where does the church get off telling people they have to give 10 percent of their lives earnings to god? he is an all powerful GOD, what does he need money for? hippocritical priests preaching compassion and tollerance for others and their beliefs and all these good morals, then once behind closed doors they fondle little helpless kids and steal money from the very people who believe in their drabble.
in all honesty i find it really sad that 98 percent of us Pastafarians know more about your religion than you do. i suggest you take a good look at your religion you defend so diligently and ask yourself if its right for you, because clearly you dont practice what you preach. i would go into how stupid you are for not knowing what that “useless picture” is, but i feel that my fellow FSM lovers have already schooled you on that subject.
P.s. nice vocab, im guessing you only know 150-200 words tops. get that G.E.D. son!
<3Trey
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well you really have people fooled fucker, er. i mean, fucknugget, errr….F!
you are obviously a satan whore who hypnotises kids into believing in this shit. do you burn down churches too? does F mean “fuckhead” in “christiwhinity” or i mean “christianity”?
i hope you proud of your self douche bag, you and who ever created “christ” and “god.” go get fucking laid instead of worshiping your invisible sky magician!
FSM will have no mercy on you fuckers and you will be stuck on earth during the apocacalypes.
heres the real 8 commandments of “christians”
1. i will be a fucker every day
2. i will stay single until i am laid by the invisible sky magician
3. paint useless pictures of naked men being “touched” by an invisible sky magician.
4. do my self
5. worship an invisible sky magician
6. fill kids mind with shit
7. blow off pastafarians
8. most important! burn in the microwave like a bad bowl of pasta
-D
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i didn’t know a constipated jackass burns better than any other. One learns here each single day
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