well you really have people fooled bitch, er. i mean, bastard, errr….Bobby!
you are obviously a satan whore who hypnotises kids into believing in this shit. do you burn down noodle restruants too? does bobby mean “douche bag” in “pussyfarian” or i mean “pastafarian”?
i hope you proud of your self douche bag, you and who ever created “jedism” and “invisible pink unicorn.” go get fucking laid instead of worshiping your next meal!
Jesus will have no mercy on you fuckers and you will be stuck on earth during the apocacalypes.
heres the real 8 commandments of “pastafarians”
1. i will be a fucker every day
2. i will stay single until i am laid by the fsm
3. paint useless pictures of naked men being “touched” by a hunk of noodles.
4. do my self
5. worship noodles
6. fill kids mind with shit
7. blow off christians
8. most important! burn in hell like a constipated jackass–F
well you really have people fooled
Published by Bobby Henderson March 31st, 2009 in Hate Mail (and concerned criticism). 231 Comments
231 Responses to “well you really have people fooled”
I think this poster get an F- for his interesting interpretations of reality. A+ for the rant, however.
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My friend. Just because the almighty meatballs of the FSM are bigger than your gods, this is no reason to become upset. Also, spaghetti is food for the soul and we would never burn down a spaghetti restaurant. (If anyone see’s this -F guy, I say we should shove pasta is his mouth and down his throat until the sinful beating inside him stops)
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I’ve gotta be honest, this is pretty funny. He has a good point. I could see Bobby being 400 pounds and obsessed with pasta. Do we have any pictures of him…? OMG! BOBBY DOESN’T EXIST!!
I have figured it out. Bobby is a fictional person invented by the FSM to further His will. It all makes sense now.
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So you’re what 12?
You were clearly indoctrinated to hating other religions from a young age, you don’t understand how religions have they’re own ideas, you don’t understand compassion, forgiveness, treating others as they should be treated, I don’t think Jesus would like you; especially as the first person he told that he was the Son of God was a samritan woman, and the parable of the good samaritan. And you blame pastafarians for filling kids minds with, as you so nicely put it “Sh*t” when you are too blind to see that the same happened to you.
Terribly sorry if you feel I’ve been rude, but it was incredibly offensive what you werote to people you don’t know nor have ever met. Which is illogical.
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By the way, to the apologists: you are in no position to say that our friend “F” is not a Christian, just because you don’t like his style. I guess you would claim the conquistadors and the crusaders were not Christian either.
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what ever happend to love thy neighbour
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You admitted that FMS is real in the real 8 commandments. “I will stay single until i am laid by the fsm”. If those are the real commandments then how do I get laid by a non-existent deity? I can’t, that would just be silly, so you must be saying he is real.
RAmen
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i never really understood why you Christians think anyone that believes in anything other than your in my opinion some what flawed religion is going to hell. if you god is as kind and loving as you say (which i doubt) he would understand that we love him and are worshiping him in our own special way and send us his children into heaven. you however will be banished to hell forever to drink stale be and be stuck with STD infested hookers for you inability to accept your brother and sisters differences you judgmental bastards.
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This is just ridiculous. He called DaVinci “a useless picture of a naked man”.
Uh?
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Okay, as a reponse to the 3rd so called comandment of pastafarienism, I say to you, That picture was origionaly a christian picture, painted by DaVinci. so think before you type.
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I thought that the original painting is a small part of Michelangelo’s Sistine Chapel work.
RAmen
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Oy, fellow Pastafarians! (Specifically, posts 159 & 160, Jessica and Wil) Michelangelo! Sistine Chapel! The Birth of Adam! ‘Tis not a DaVinci!
(Sorry, I get a little worked up about art. But really, there is huge difference between Leonardo and Michelangelo, and we’re all smart enough to keep our renaissance masters straight, are we not?)
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Wow. Thats some pent up sexual aggression.
touched
noodles
get laid
do myself
Stay single till i get laid
naked men
blow off
pink unicorn
It’s called Psychological Projection, look it up.
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So does that mean everyone who can’t poop is going to hell, regardless of their beliefs?
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WHY ARE YOU AND EVERYONE ELSE SO MAD AT THIS SIGHT!!!! Of course it is a joke. It is to show how even something as stupid as this can be made off these kind of facts sort of like how your religion was created o wait and can u give us any proof that these events happened and that these miracles took place….no…that’s what I thought….So until you have some proof that I can see SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU RELIGIOUS PRICK
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“The real ten commandments of christians”
No buddists, jews, muslums, etc.. only ME!
No little statues..er…idols
No gays (so how bout the Ah-men?)
Holocasts and holy wars are ok, but only against other religions
God loves you
Other religions burn in hell
Do something wrong, burn in hell
Just go burn in hell
Cheesus is your saivior, so i killed him
THOU SHALL NOT EAT OWL!
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F, I’m assuming is for “Failure to Grasp my own beliefs.” It is apparent you are an angry Christian (it seems like there are several of those appearing on this site to attack the FSM and His Word) who doesn’t even understand his own religion. In fact, this entry is for all the anti-Pastafarian Christians who attack with violent language and threats, such as our friend F here: Jesus said “Love thy neighbor as thyself.” Now I have been a Christian for several years (most of my life) before I began to question the Church and look for my own answers, so I know most of the arguments that will be used. However the only one that the church, as it was taught to me, should give is “read the Bible and decide for yourself, we are here to answer questions.” Forcing religion down others throats is against the very beliefs you are shoving down their throats.
Regarding our friend F’s language, IF Jesus is the right choice, when you stand in front of him, he will look at your language on this site, and I’m sure everywhere else in life, and say that you are the perfect example of a hypocrite (who, if I remember, Dante puts in their own level of Hell) have fun.
RAmen
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its funny that people say they know how christanity is real when there it is suposed to be baced of faith wich means you dont know and you bealeave in it for no reason
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About number 3 I think being touched naked by spaghetti would be better thanthe original of two naked men touching
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Dear Christian
what i think you are missing is an open mind, your attitude of ‘Im correct and everyone else is wrong’ isnt going to get you anywhere, this is something i think that all christians dont understand, everyone has a choice i what they believe in.
i am an athiest and i therefore do not believe in god, i also do not believe in a flying spaghetti monster, but i have a sense of humour and so id rather believe in a yummy flying marvel that an egotistical man/woman who floats about the universe creating things in his/her image.
i can uderstand that you might want to believe in god because your’e scared of death but seriously why swear. i also like how your mind when writing those commandments can only span past constipation and the word Fuck. please if youre going to make fun of people use more colourful vocabulary and random. Peace out y’all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
by Alex
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That was either one pissed off fundie, or some of the sweetest metal lyrics I’ve ever heard.
a. Satan whore may be the best band name of all time
b. References to fire and brimstone – check
c. Gratuitous use of curse words – fuck and yes
d. Homophobic manly chest thumping rhetoric – done and done
Now all we need is some leather shoulder pads and some kickin’ guitar solos.
I’ll bang my head to that
Eek!!
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What’s the opposite of ditto?
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This guy is so well informed about the apocalypse that he renamed it the apo-CACA-lypse. What the fuck is that? Does he believe we are all going to get shitted on by some gigantic explosive diarrhea shower from “God”?
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/quote “heres the real 8 commandments of “pastafarians”
…
2. i will stay single until….” /quote
From http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Celibacy :
“The view of the Roman Catholic Church is that celibacy is a reflection of life in Heaven….”
I think I’m going to submit to FSM, beer and strippers is MUCH more appealing… although… 40 virgins in the afterlife if you subscribe to Islam doesn’t sound bad either…no beer though… any other offers?
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I know that the fundie obviously took it seriously, but that was the funniest thing that I’ve seen today. “Burn in Hell like a constipated jackass”… That’s good stuff. What sin has the constipated jackass committed? Lack of fiber, I guess. So according to his god you burn in hell for eating too much cheese… Well, at least his post was amusing.
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He gets laid… a lot! ;D
I know because of my learnings.
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It’s pity that the people who write these comments never think before they do it…
“you are obviously a satan whore who hypnotises kids into believing in this shit.”
- Okaaaaaay. Let me ask you some questions:
What are our chldren forced to read when they’re too young to fight against it – is it a)the bible or b)the FSM-gospel?
What are our children indoctrinated with since they enter kindergarten – is it a)the “dear god” or b) the almighty Flying Spaghetti Monster?
Man, go get a brain!!
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Ha ha ya know Ive never before have been able to understand how someone could take part in genocide but I think this guy would b e a prime target for their recruiters
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“Satan whore may be the best band name of all time”
I think they’re opening for Alice Cooper right now aren’t they? If not, they should be.
In Love and Pasta,
Pastafarian Taco
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Does our kind and most gracious aggressor not realise that “the naked man” is part of his religion. Obviously the Sistine Chapel in the Vatican City, the home of Catholicism, is not included in his vast knowledge of the religion he preaches.
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‘Burn down noodle restaurants’?? Do you burn down churches?
Half of what you say doesn’t make any fucking sense. Do you have a language called Christian-ese? Oh, right, you do… no wonder you’re so hard to understand.
I don’t get where you connect worshiping the holiness of Pasta to prostitution, hypnotizing childre, ‘being a fucker’ (WTF?), being single, painting pictures, having sex with ourselves (again, WTF?), and constipation. But maybe the translation from Christian-fundy-babble just didn’t translate accurately. Seriously, what did we do to piss God off so much? All we do is like noodles. To determine our fate based on whether we worship the guy…man, God must be one egotistical being.
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Well it isn’t like the Christian church hasn’t had people fooled for centuries…..oh wait….Yes they have!
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HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
I love thsi psuedo religion. Since christians criticize and don’t realize its a satire of their own religion. These comments should be on failblog.
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at least our religion hasn’t started a war…
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well, I can tell that you are definitely a good influence on your kids. Do your children follow your faith? Would you let them convert if they asked too? Because it seems that you despise all of us who don’t follow Jesus. So, if your kids were following a different religion, what would you do? Because I’m pretty sure that taking away their civil rights, their HUMAN rights, is worse then realizing that other religions have some sense to them.
P.S. Jimmy Page was a Satanist. He didn’t turn out to bad.
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Isn’t the entire human race made up of “fuckers”? Because, I mean otherwise, the entire human race would die out. Just sayin’.
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Eh? Helloo? He left out pirate regailia
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I didn’t feel like reading all the comments before mine (so much hate-mail, so little time) but he said a satan. Is there more than one that I was not aware of? And, how dare you sir! You neglected to mention all the great sexual innuendo! His Noodliness just has a much better sense of humor than your, bastard jew zombie vengeful mass-murderer child. Here’s to hoping that you find His Noodliness, that His noodly appendage touches you, and you might gaze upon His meatballs.
Ramen,
GM
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diiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiick
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“Jesus will have no mercy on you fuckers and you will be stuck on earth during the apocacalypes.”
1. Look at you, you’re certainly on a roll with all this swearing, but remember, if (your) Jesus inexplicably came down from Heaven and saw you typing that, what would he say?
2. There will be two apocalypses?
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Jesus will have no mercy on you fuckers and you will be stuck on earth during the apocacalypes….really? Using Jesus and Fuckers in the same sentence and we are the ones who will be stuck on earth durning the apocacalypes?
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Blow off Christians? Sounds like someone is hoping for a freebie.
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And more than one apocalypse? Makes sense these days as it’s all about the sequels.
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Jedism. I believe that’s the worship of the head of the Clampett clan. Followers wear broken down old hats, don’t shave very often and dance stiffly. Favorite saying” “whee, doggie!”
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“worshiping your next meal”
What exactly was it that the disciples and Jesus ate at the last supper? Oh, right, the body and blood of the Christ. And what do people eat during Communion every Sunday? The body and blood of whom they worship…
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apocalypses?
by the second one we’d be dead
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He has probably taught far few children this than the christians have done.
you can’t prove this wrong so why should it be treated upon less than christianity from an outsiders point of view?
Everyone here complains about how stupid this is when really it is just taking the stupid from a well developed religion and exhagerrating it into something that people see as stupid. therefore what the really see as stupid is what is actually just another form of Christianity.
Do these haters see Christianity as stupid?
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Kid-hypnotizing satan whores?
What is this, the OReilly show?
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Good to see you taking the moral high ground F. Flying the banner of tolerance for “god” eh?
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sweet! i didn’t know we had hypnotic powers!
Ramen
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