well you really have people fooled bitch, er. i mean, bastard, errr….Bobby!
you are obviously a satan whore who hypnotises kids into believing in this shit. do you burn down noodle restruants too? does bobby mean “douche bag” in “pussyfarian” or i mean “pastafarian”?
i hope you proud of your self douche bag, you and who ever created “jedism” and “invisible pink unicorn.” go get fucking laid instead of worshiping your next meal!
Jesus will have no mercy on you fuckers and you will be stuck on earth during the apocacalypes.
heres the real 8 commandments of “pastafarians”
1. i will be a fucker every day
2. i will stay single until i am laid by the fsm
3. paint useless pictures of naked men being “touched” by a hunk of noodles.
4. do my self
5. worship noodles
6. fill kids mind with shit
7. blow off christians
8. most important! burn in hell like a constipated jackass–F
well you really have people fooled
Published by Bobby Henderson March 31st, 2009 in Hate Mail (and concerned criticism). 231 Comments
231 Responses to “well you really have people fooled”
This was one of the best ones yet, Bobby. Love it.
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Bobby hypnotizes kids into believing this shit? So he’s a lot like Sunday school teachers and youth pastors?
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the flying spagheti monster sucked my dick !!!! REALLY !!! I woke up yesterday and there he was ! sucking my dick than balls ! then he totally licked my ass !!!!then he did a blow job !!!! it was creepy but great !!!!!!! I freaking loved it !!!!
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Hi jen #8. You support neither FSM or any other religion, you claim. FSM is a deity, not a religion. So do you troll the websites of all religions and call them names? How about the one worshipping zombies and having a fetish for plus signs? What is a “hileroius”?
Why don’t you work on your spelling and grammar and social manners and then come back for a chat.
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I cannot figure out why all of you christians say that we hate your god. You are all missing the point of this whole thing, it was brought up so that if schools were being made to teach ID to students then they would have to teach our theory as well. There is also just as much evidence that our noodly master was the creator as there is of your god.
pasta be with you
Ramen
-evan
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OMG yesterday night a great pasta appeared to me and started infiltrating in my ass it felt so good im gonna join that fucked up “religion” right now. God. Is this website the HQ of retards? I mean, come on! Pasta? Pasta was created by MEN YOU ARTARDS GO SUCK YOUR PASTA LIKE DICKS
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I just understood: this religion encourages being pirates and cirminals! Yay I know the truth
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How disappointing! This rant started out so funny, I thought it was a satire. Sadly, it degenerated into a tired pastiche of a zillion other previously published rants. Good heavens! Save your time and energy F, and give them both to your local soup kitchen.
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Wait wait wait. So, we can do all of that (sounds like jolly good fun to me) and the punishment will be we don’t have to live for eternity with a self-harming, self-killing, self-righteous son of a bitch and his mass-murdering racist, sexist, slavery-promoting and egotistical father?
Sounds like a good deal to me. Have fun in your afterlife, i’ll be getting hammered at the beer volcano. ;)
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If I was 8 years old I would prefer to be touched by a spaghetti monster than a pervert priest who is sexually deprived and has gone loony because of it.
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And nuns, and the Secret Protestant Recruiters. Don’t forget the Secret Protestant Recruiters. I can’t stand that. At least the Jehovah’s Witnesses are respectable and keep it out in the open. And the Catholics and Jews don’t even try.
RAmen. And Hallelujah.
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this guys needs a sense of humor… no wait… he christian.. forgot they cant get one; god thinks its a sin probably
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What the hell is the “apocacalypes”?
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Damn. For a second I thought Bobby had managed to fool our friend F. I guess F is one helluva lot smarter than I’ve given F credit for being.
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i noted your number 3- paint useless pictures of naked men being “touched” by a hunk of noodles.
but christians paint “not-useless” picture of naked men being “touched” by another old, naked man?
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I’m not convinced this one’s real.
If it is, it’s definitely one of the hardest fails thus far, in both the logic and grammar categories.
I love hate mail… how entertaining. :]
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@ 24 – Pacific Pam
What more could you want in a wench? Big ass, big titties, small brain – unless she thinks pasta is an aphrodisiac.
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@ French Pasta:
En anglais, quand on utilise le mot “douche,” on implique que quelqu’un se lave le vagin. Le “douche bag” contienne les dechets. Je ne sais pas comment l’expression traduirait en francais, mais peut-etre vous m’eclaireriez?
rAmen,
HP
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These hate mails ar soooooooooooo funny I almost pissed mysel fucking Christian retards
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“you will be stuck on earth during the apocacalypes”.
So we have a “Left Behind” fan, eh? Yeah, the Rapture is going to just zoom you bodily away before the earth blows up. Sounds logical to me. Say hello to those Heaven’s Gate eunechs in their space ship behind the comet for us!
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What’s with all this “errr” and “umm” stuff? It doesn’t add to the quality of your rhetoric, it just makes me think you forgot your keyboard has a backspace key.
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Coliquette- “Douche” veut dire le produit hygenique utilisé pour se laver le vagin. Quand on ajoute “bag”, il veux dire une personne qui sont pire que un “asshole”, mais meilleure que un “motherfucker”.
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apocacalypes…hmmm…let’s pronounce that, shall we? A-po-kaka-lipes. Um, I don’t get it.
Enjoy your stale beer and infested strippers, my unfortunate friend.
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i cant believe some of the comments you so called Christians have left lol did i see one of you ignorant fucks call him a “twat” lmao he has just as much proof saying the “FSM” created the earth as you blind ass holes have saying “god” did it. give me a break the funny part of the hole thing is seeing how you “Christians” talk…. did you go to church and ask for forgivness after you said that nastey shit. I see a couple comments “filling young childrens minds with fsm garbage” WHAT!!!! so fill there heads with lies of an invisible man that created life in 6 days…….!!!NEWS FLASH!!! EITHER WAY YOUR LYING TO THEM……bottom line fsm is bullshit, god is bullshit. you want something to believe in…heres an idea beilive in yourself
signed Laughing My Ass Off
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Coquillette:
The simplest meaning of “Douche Bag” would be “Vagina Washing Device” it may not translate well.
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Come to think of it, the title of this love-mail (i’m a slightly optimistic person) is among the most ironic things I could imagine.
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This guy has spent too much time firing off a batches of knuckle children. There is more to life than writing idiotic rants with terrible grammar & spelling – just wondering Bobby why do you have so many idiots writing hate mail as they obviously have not figured out the joke. Come on when will this guy ever get mentioned by Richard Dawkins & The New Scientist?
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Every time you swear you may an angel cry you bad man. Now change your diaper and go to bed.
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Wow. This is why you should pass an intelligence test and have proof that you ARE above 10 years old before using the internet.
Do these people not read the idea of the FSM? Maybe they do. It blows me away how some people can be so ignorant.
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@ 20 – French Pasta
This is an explanation of “douche bag”…thought it might be helpful, arrrrrr!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Douche_bag
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Wow. It still amazes me how literally these people take FSM.
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You know that saying the wrong thing and then correcting it is one of the most unfunny ways that jokes can possibly be made, right?
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This guy is so cool. I’m blown away by his coolness. It’s like he’s radiating cool from every pasty fiber of his body.
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@ Anti-Conformist
No, no. You can have unmaried sex all you want, the biblical definition of Adultery is having sex with another man’s wife. As long as no one claims her she’s fair game :P
Also note this fits in with some of the handy advice in Leviticus, if you own a woman and her daughter pick one and don’t sleep with the other. (I wish I was making that up.)
-Apostate
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I just have two things:
1. I had no idea that a constipated jackass would burn in hell.
2. I don’t think I’m the only one here in saying that I would LOVE to be laid by FSM (imagine what could be done with all those noodley appendages).
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I can’t tell whether this is real or a fake. But it’s hilarious Bobby.
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Dear F,
I believe everyone has a right to voice their opinion in a respectful, yet passionate way. By voicing yours in the manner that you did, you not only were exceptionally disrespectful, you made yourself come off as a hypocritical, bigoted low-life who doesn’t deserve to walk the face of the planet.
If you want to get a point across, honey catches more flies than vinegar.
May you be touched by his noodley appendages.
Have a beautiful day!
Reverend Carlene Jackson
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Bravo! That was a magnificent example of pure hypocracy! Do you talk to “God” with that mouth? I don’t think he’s up in your paradise heaven building a statue to commemorate you. Nay. “Jesus “is rolling in his grave. This is not what he wanted for the “children of God”. I think he wanted happiness and peace for everybody, no matter who they were or what they believed. So you go head and be angry with your uptight, lowbrow religion, and we’ll enjoy our lucid and irenic views.
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If you put all the words in quotation marks do you get a secret code?
douche bag pussyfarian pastafarian jedism invisible pink unicorn pastafarians touched
ok mebbe not
shame – the rest of its so full of crap i thoguht it was a clever rouse
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Foolish mortals!
You anger me with your small brains and inferior abilities to mine, in 2011 i shall come, and if i do not come then it will be some other time in the future..most likely never
chow chow :) Xx
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Look guys I’m not a pastafarian and of course I’m a different religion. I’m Catholic. I think that if the pastafarians wat to believe in the FSM then let them. They have as much evidence as we have of our God. We all have friends who rpobably might not agree with us. I have a friend named Bentley. He’s a Pastarian but I can accept it because he’s my pal and I’m the kind of guy that would risk his life saving a friend. I’m just a 15 yr old boy yet i plan to risk my life for a friend who is not only a different religion but also a different race, will you do the same? I have been through a lot in my lifetime and I even tried to kill myself (didn’t work out to well…) but I’m still alive, why? I don’t know but if I went through my screwed up life and live you guys can live together just stop rejecting this group of people. I mean like seriously this isn’t freaking High School is freaking Life (not the game) so step up and be a man. Stop your stupid self from figting a meaningless cause. we all said we seen God. We all said we seen the Flying Spaghetti Monster but no one believes each other so let’s calm down and forget this all. Maybe then I can come back and not see a whole section for hate mail.
Thanks for reading,
Thomas Bui
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Im a strong christian but that doesnt mean I cant find this funny
I love it
Ps
for people who say you’re going to hell
its not your decision
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Wow — this person *totally* makes me want to convert to Christianity! Or Islam! Or whatever religion it is he represents! The charm, the warmth, the power, the well-spoken manner — where do I sign up?!
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Hi, me again.
I showed it to my dad, he is a chief police officer. He says that you can be charge-
Jim (Rachel’s father):You can be charged with dibesia (You made something so people wouldn’t like it) I have showed it to Judge Creg Avina, and he would like to make a trial.
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Get laid… are you married? because usually Christians are as ignorant as you are and I believe one of their rules is to NOT HAVE SEX UNTIL YOU ARE MARRIED. Dumbass.
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“Stop your stupid self from figting a meaningless cause.”
What’s meaningless about keeping fairytales away from science classes? Compared to your noble cause to brainwash as many people as possible, we win.
As for tolerance: Whenever someone is giving me a religious pamphlet they are saying: Your faith is distilled BS whatever it is, have a copy of mine. So much for tolerance.
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I kinda find it funny too :D
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This letter couldn’t be any more correct.
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RE: Crazy Catholic Azn (Like 3 comments up)
First off, i want to thank you for accepting our religion. you are a very kind person thanks! Just one thing, when you said
“I’m just a 15 yr old boy yet i plan to risk my life for a friend who is not only a different religion but also a different race, will you do the same?”
I think that’s great but first of all, why does it matter if he’s a diff. religion or race? I mean, it shouldn’t matter if he’s a diff. race OR religion. I mean, almost no one who’s not crazy is going 2 say “No i wont save him because he’s black.” I think you’re just being a little bit egocentric. anyway I was just saying.
And in regards to your attempted suicide. be safe, we only have one life to live so live it well. I thank you and good bye
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Why that’s not a very Christian attitude or the type of speech that Jesus would use…
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