Have you ever read what you have written?

Published February 2nd, 2009 by Bobby Henderson

Have you ever read what you have written? If you have, RE-read it. Your so-called scientific evidence of this “FSM” is that he secretly changes the outcome of scientists results of the age of the earth with his noodely appendage- where’s the evidence? We are supposed to go off your evidence with a simple, “he’s invisible, he can walk through walls, and he is there to change a scientist’s answers with his flying spaghetti monster super powers?”

Seriously, that’s right, I’m being SERIOUS, PIRATES?! Of course the number of pirates has gone down over the years, people evolve and the age changes. People can go the supermarket to get food instead of pillaging villages to steal their food and money. We have jobs now. There is no need for pirates. Saying that the reason the earth is heating is because the number of PIRATES has gone down is like a Christian saying that hell is filling with too many souls, which means that it’s getting hotter and over heating the earth. Nothing against Christians-, i am one, but it would sound ridiculous even for one to say that.

Re-read your evidence and see if you can find some legitimate information, instead of feeding empty lies to people. It is simple logic. Use the common sense you were born with. Back up your theories with substantial evidence! Do not just say something you invented off the top of your head. God made us in his image. Are we made to look like spaghetti? Think about it. Use LOGIC. It is as simple as that. Think. You do not have to be a genius to see stupidity when it is right in front of you. I just want you to think about it and see reason and logic. People make noodles and meatballs and spaghetti sauce out of flour and COWS and tomatoes. Who made the ingredients to make your god? I just encourage you to use common sense and think about the fact that you are worshipping a meal.

-Rebecca



344 Responses to “Have you ever read what you have written?”

  1. Guy says:

    The irony is killing me.

  2. Long John Silver says:

    “Use LOGIC” – LOL
    -
    “People make noodles and meatballs and spaghetti sauce out of flour and COWS and tomatoes.” – really?
    -
    LJS

  3. Drake says:

    Dear Rebecca,

    You clearly have a knack for rational thought, and unlike most hate-mailers there is irrefutable logic in your arguments. However, these arguments you make are equally applicable to every other religion on the planet. You are correct in everything you say, however, how does your own religion hold up against those same arguments? If you look at it objectively you will surely come to the conclusion that our belief in the Great FSM is just as nutty as your belief in God. As there is no proof of the FSM, there is no proof of God. As for our ‘science’, it is merely a reaction to Creationist hard-heads who feel God created teh world 4000 (or was it 6000?) years ago. There is no proof of this, rather, there is a lot of evidence pointing to our planet being well over 3 billion years old. The pirate proof is an illustration of how easy it is to manipulate two totally unrelated facts, and make them seem connected. The first rule of science is to be fair in all trials. So if you wish to condemn our faith by your reasoning, you must also apply that same line of reasoning to every other faith in the world.

    I applaud your reasoning, just be careful of the fact that every argument works both ways.

    May his Noodliness be with you

  4. theFewtheProudtheMarinara says:

    God made us in his image? No self-respecting omnipotent being could POSSIBLY
    resemble the very short, wide and lumpy woman in stretch pants I saw at a bus stop yesterday.

  5. hap says:

    “where’s the evidence?”
    We can safely ask every religion the same question.

    @315… i just read your post, and you put into words what i was thinking, therefore i will give up with this post :D

  6. Drained and Washed Clean says:

    Rebecca,
    Dear one. I can see that you are seriously serious about the pirate thing. But are you also as seriously serious about a man walking on water? Or perhaps taking water in jugs and turning it magically into alcohol. Being swallowed alive and whole by a mega fish that has never been shown to exist? OH! I got it! A man impregnating a woman who has never had sex himself so that he can be born to save the world, then is killed and raises himself from the dead! That has to be what you are so seriously serious about.

    Have YOU read YOUR evidence? Well then I suggest that you re-read it because the Gospels cannot even agree on Jesus’ ancestors or where he was born. The “buybull” contradicts itself at every turn. At least ours doesn’t do that. Words appear in your book that weren’t even invented until after it was written and published for awhile (homosexual not invented until the 16th century… yet in the bible… hmmm… convenient for you to go after homosexuals and tell them they are going to hell because you don’t agree with what they do).

    I have used logic, and I am quite aware of how I was created. It started with the big bang, and ended with use being made from stardust (Fred Hoyle). Now I think it is time for you to quit whining about our beliefs and actually use LOGIC on your own. You may be surprised at the result. I know I was.

    Go in Peace and Sauciness, RAmen,
    D&WC

  7. Ami the Waffle says:

    Thats our point my dear. This is the non sense that YOUR faith has been spewing. Look up the definition “parody” and get back to us. <3

  8. Bagelsauce says:

    Careful with that whole “Logic” concept ‘Becca, it can really screw up all that faith you hold so dear.
    For example, try going through any random unfounded belief logically:
    If we’re made in god’s image, god must look like a human. So god must have an asshole. Do you think god’s asshole ever itches? Does he scratch with two fingers or one? Does he get the hot farts after eating chili? God must have a prostate right? Do you think god like it in the butthole? Does he obey the one knuckle rule?
    See? Logic can be scary! It’s best to take things at face value and never question them if you ask me.

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