first thing: what the hell?

Published January 20th, 2009 by Bobby Henderson

first thing: What the hell? You are just crazy, mislead idiots, who see some kind of personal profit in you “pastafarian” ways. Stop misleading innocent people. Who the hell worships a bundle of flying spaghetti with meatballs? It´s just sick. AND who is the leader of this “church”? My pastor and family would like a word with him.

HOW dare you sick idiots portrait that fictionous monster in place of God and Jesus. HOW DARE YOU! YOU are just a bunch of freaks and hillbillies that aren´t educated, have been neglected as children, and want to stand out in a freakish kind of way and say: “oh ho, i am a psycho pastafarian” or “look at me, i have been sent by the BDSM, i mean FSM, i come in peace, join us, spread the word of this goddamn thing.” keep your worship to yourselves and don´t taint the believe of normal people.

Think of it as this: What kind of Psycho draws up a pile of spaghetties, makes a church (so that he doesn´t have to pay taxes for his ventures AND to get MONEY form his crazy, damn followers) out of it, and even involves children and young people in this damn shit?!

I SAY, humans invented noodles around 2000-3000 BC!!! All who believe, this sick THING made US all up, is mislead AND has some serious problems with his life.

God damn you all, you idiots. DONT MISLEAD ANYMORE PEOPLE AND DELETE THIS DAMN WEBSITE!
-sfg



378 Responses to “first thing: what the hell?”

  1. Raven says:

    xD this is amazing! i love how she is all rwar. but for me its like well fine you can belive in something i find stupid, and ill belive in something stupid i want to, its more of proveing a point.

  2. J says:

    “HOW DARE YOU?” ROFLMAO!!!

  3. carl merida says:

    Hey, our church doesn’t make us pay tithes to it, what do you mean to make money

    also, your religion was made up around 40 A.D. (the time the bible was written)

    we DID keep our worship to ourselves, YOU came to OUR website, we didn’t force ir on you

  4. CrudOMatic says:

    “”"first thing: What the hell? You are just crazy, mislead idiots, who see some kind of personal profit in you “pastafarian” ways. Stop misleading innocent people. Who the hell worships a bundle of flying spaghetti with meatballs? It´s just sick. AND who is the leader of this “church”? My pastor and family would like a word with him.”"”

    Oblivious Christian is Oblivious. Oblivious Christian is kind of redundant. Jesus Christ and GOD are WAY sicker than FSM, Jeffrey Dahmer & G.G. Allen put together. As you would tell me – READ THE BIBLE.

    FSM is our leader. How can a mere mortal lead anything? They can’t even lead their own lives without delusion and fantasy.

    Bad ass Daddy and Pastor don’t scare FSM, nor us, nor me. Ever see a holy man get his ass whipped? It’s funny as hell.

    “”"HOW dare you sick idiots portrait that fictionous monster in place of God and Jesus.”"”

    How dare you Christians steal the spotlight by copying a painting older than time, and putting God and Jesus in the place of FSM? THAT is the real outrage. You Christians and your GOD have been stealing from our Noodly LORD. There is no sauce for you, unless you recant your theft and KNOW that FSM is your true LORD.

    “”"HOW DARE YOU!”"”

    No, HOW DARE YOU SIR!

    “”"YOU are just a bunch of freaks and hillbillies that aren´t educated, have been neglected as children, and want to stand out in a freakish kind of way”"”

    Funny thing is, Christians are the ones who are mostly uneducated neglected hillbilly freaks that believe in a sky wizard. Winged men? How does that have anything to do with the sauce of life? Been listening to too much Led Zeplin. Icarus doesn’t exist hillbilly.

    “”"“look at me, i have been sent by the BDSM, i mean FSM, i come in peace, join us, spread the word of this goddamn thing.””"”

    BDSM? Freudian slip, maybe? Also GODDAMN is an acceptable word, FSMDAMN is not. Sorry Noodly LORD, for taking your name in vein, but this GODDAMN infidel had to know.

    “”"keep your worship to yourselves and don´t taint the believe of normal people.”"”

    I LOVE how these infidel Christians think that they can go anywhere, and tell people who are minding their own, to KEEP THEIR WORSHIP TO THEMSELVES. You came here, infidel. That’s like me punching your mother in the face and telling her to keep her hands to herself. Your pussy dad would just watch, trembling in fear because I AM RIGHTEOUS in the love of my Noodly LORD!

    “”"Think of it as this: What kind of Psycho draws up a pile of spaghetties, makes a church (so that he doesn´t have to pay taxes for his ventures AND to get MONEY form his crazy, damn followers) out of it, and even involves children and young people in this damn shit?!”"”

    What kind of Psycho nails a dirty hippie to a lower-case T, claims he died for our sins, removes the body from it’s tomb – just to say the hippie rose from the dead? Then on top of the Jewish Hippie Zombie, builds a church so he don’t have to pay taxes on the MONEY he gets from his crazy damn followers, and even involves children and young people in the damn shit?!

    “”"I SAY, humans invented noodles around 2000-3000 BC!!! All who believe, this sick THING made US all up, is mislead AND has some serious problems with his life.”"”

    Anyone who believes in Christ is mislead and problem-ridden.

    The recipe for noodles, meatballs and sauce is older than time itself – the heathen Italians were given the recipes in a time of great turmoil, as FSM felt it finally necessary to reveal himself to the world in a earthly form. The noodle – His body, the sauce – His blood. Nibbleth upon his tender meatballs and REJOICE! The Earth, NAY, the UNIVERSE hath been saved!

    “”"God damn you all, you idiots. DONT MISLEAD ANYMORE PEOPLE AND DELETE THIS DAMN WEBSITE!”"”

    Make us. Our God has bigger balls than yours.

  5. Ritchi says:

    Our lord the FSM, through the words of the prophet bobby is our only leader. And for the record your the hillbillies, you believe an invisible man who came to earth as his own son created you because a pedophile told you so and we, the ones who mock your ‘tarded religion are the stupid ones? Also, your name is sfg, what the fuck were your parents on when they named you?

  6. DarthFennec says:

    `don´t taint the believe of normal people.’
    `Stop misleading innocent people.’
    `DONT MISLEAD ANYMORE PEOPLE’

    What the hell is wrong with your religion, that people who worship your god are so easily mislead by a Flying Spaghetti Monster? Anyone with a hint of intelligence would not buy our religion at face value, so the fact that you’re afraid of your people doing just that brings me to the logical conclusion that either you don’t have a hint of intelligence, your people don’t have a hint of intelligence, or you are under the impression that your people don’t have a hint of intelligence (or a combination of the three).

    These kinds of people make me sad, they’re so insecure about their faith that the only way for them to stay true to their deity is to bash other people’s. That’s exactly what was going on when they decided to create their `Intelligent Design Theory,’ because they were afraid that their kids might realize how much more sense evolution makes.

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  8. Garret Klawitter says:

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