first thing: what the hell?

Published January 20th, 2009 by Bobby Henderson

first thing: What the hell? You are just crazy, mislead idiots, who see some kind of personal profit in you “pastafarian” ways. Stop misleading innocent people. Who the hell worships a bundle of flying spaghetti with meatballs? It´s just sick. AND who is the leader of this “church”? My pastor and family would like a word with him.

HOW dare you sick idiots portrait that fictionous monster in place of God and Jesus. HOW DARE YOU! YOU are just a bunch of freaks and hillbillies that aren´t educated, have been neglected as children, and want to stand out in a freakish kind of way and say: “oh ho, i am a psycho pastafarian” or “look at me, i have been sent by the BDSM, i mean FSM, i come in peace, join us, spread the word of this goddamn thing.” keep your worship to yourselves and don´t taint the believe of normal people.

Think of it as this: What kind of Psycho draws up a pile of spaghetties, makes a church (so that he doesn´t have to pay taxes for his ventures AND to get MONEY form his crazy, damn followers) out of it, and even involves children and young people in this damn shit?!

I SAY, humans invented noodles around 2000-3000 BC!!! All who believe, this sick THING made US all up, is mislead AND has some serious problems with his life.

God damn you all, you idiots. DONT MISLEAD ANYMORE PEOPLE AND DELETE THIS DAMN WEBSITE!
-sfg



375 Responses to “first thing: what the hell?”

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  1. Ron says:

    *sigh*
    Go away, troll.

  2. Dan says:

    Well done sfg,

    That’s the best fake hatemail I’ve seen. The CAPS, rabbid outrage, lack of Bobbie knowledge and last but not least hypocritical condemnation of the ridiculous nature of FSM beliefs!

    It all sounds convincing at first but for all your supposed ignorance you use the term pastafarian (used mainly by followers), the term BDSM (what rabid xian would know that) and use almost perfect spelling and grammar (the few errors must be intentional)!

    Close, but you’re not a real christian! You’re a fake hater!

  3. moby says:

    That was the most Christian email I’ve ever read. I especially like how he purports his faith by breaking the “goddamn” third commandment multiple times.

    May “sfg” be touched by His Goddamn Noodly Appendage,
    RAmen

  4. Ack says:

    How incredibly christian of you. Damning us all to hell was a nice touch – aren’t y’all supposed to be forgiving and showing folks the way to salvation? I wouldn’t know since I was obviously neglected as a child.

    Curiously, ever hear of the Children’s Crusade? It was an AWESOME time for the Papacy.

  5. nuhudollo says:

    “OW dare you sick idiots portrait that fictionous monster in place of God and Jesus. HOW DARE YOU!”

    Jehoova, jehooova :P

  6. auriel says:

    I WONT MISSLIDE ANY ONE AND DELITE THIS WEBSIT IF YOU DO THE SAME

  7. nuhudollo says:

    “I SAY, humans invented noodles around 2000-3000 BC!!!”

    Weeeell, according to some old scripture I believe you, Sir, do believe in, your god did create the complete Universe … not that much longer ago … so, point please?

    Besides, noodles have been existing forever in the shape of His Noodly Appearance. They where just given to humankind some thousand years ago (BTW, proof for date please) to make worshipping more tasteful.

  8. Noah says:

    I really like this one. I pray sfg will be touched with his noodly appendage soon!

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