first thing: what the hell?

Published January 20th, 2009 by Bobby Henderson

first thing: What the hell? You are just crazy, mislead idiots, who see some kind of personal profit in you “pastafarian” ways. Stop misleading innocent people. Who the hell worships a bundle of flying spaghetti with meatballs? It´s just sick. AND who is the leader of this “church”? My pastor and family would like a word with him.

HOW dare you sick idiots portrait that fictionous monster in place of God and Jesus. HOW DARE YOU! YOU are just a bunch of freaks and hillbillies that aren´t educated, have been neglected as children, and want to stand out in a freakish kind of way and say: “oh ho, i am a psycho pastafarian” or “look at me, i have been sent by the BDSM, i mean FSM, i come in peace, join us, spread the word of this goddamn thing.” keep your worship to yourselves and don´t taint the believe of normal people.

Think of it as this: What kind of Psycho draws up a pile of spaghetties, makes a church (so that he doesn´t have to pay taxes for his ventures AND to get MONEY form his crazy, damn followers) out of it, and even involves children and young people in this damn shit?!

I SAY, humans invented noodles around 2000-3000 BC!!! All who believe, this sick THING made US all up, is mislead AND has some serious problems with his life.

God damn you all, you idiots. DONT MISLEAD ANYMORE PEOPLE AND DELETE THIS DAMN WEBSITE!
-sfg



375 Responses to “first thing: what the hell?”

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  1. Dante says:

    I must say that the people that i have witnessed on this page seem quite intelligent. Excluding the people who write the hate mail of course. I also would love to see a debate between your family (who obviously raised something quite special) and your pastor (who I’m sure is full of an abundance of knowledge and open thinking) with Bobby and his followers (or freaks and hillbillies as you pointed out)

  2. Roger says:

    I must say, that calling a bunch of people that doesent believe in god 500% and go psycho over everything seems alittle… stupid? As far as I know its the hillbillys and other brainwashed titts that believe in god the hardest :P

  3. LorenzoFSM says:

    Just my $.02 for his Noodliness’s collection plate. The past tense of the verb “lead” is “led”. Therefore, the past tense of “mislead” is “misled”. I don’t want to mislead you, but I fear you’ve already been misled.

  4. James says:

    “SAY, humans invented noodles around 2000-3000 BC!”

    Most FSM-Atheists claim that pasta was only created in the 12th century. This is a very big step in the right direction…toward the truth of Lord Flying Spaghetti Monster having ever existed.

    Who says that we are not making progress here…

  5. Libbith says:

    I have to say, conformity to mass thought is idiotic. What do you think major religions like Christianity are? Conformity to mass thought. We Pastafarians are breaking away from that conformity whether it sounds ridiculous to some or not.

  6. Pete Byrdie says:

    What I love about this kind of hate mail is the projection of the author’s emotions onto us. They feel shocked, so they assume we are out to shock. Our goal in life is not to offend, but they are offended so don’t see that. But, I think I understand the emotional over-reaction they experience. I feel the same way when I’m told of God’s infinitely merciful and loving qualities by people who know there are Christians starving in deserts and living from rubbish heaps, or when a person claims God will protect them when thousands die from natural disasters, presumably thousands who were not Christian enough. I get pretty emotional when the subtle, beautiful and expansive interplay between forces, chemistry and natural selection that led to the Universe as we see it are debased to being the product of a single mythical figure by someone claiming that simple idea as more sublime. So, I understand what it’s like to be overwhelmed by an idea of the Universe, only to have someone regard it as inelegant.

  7. Kirby_mongerr says:

    you do realise pastafarianism came into the public eye over a fight for science to be taught during a science class. and we are the dumb ones. do we go to your religious webpage and call you idiots and demand an end to your religion? no. and the church is non profit. we don’t make people pay money to join. we don’t use a collection plate. we give our followers methods of expressing their beliefs in exchange for the money that is required in our society to sustain the church.

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