I’m sorry,but this is beyond ridiculous.It’s all your fault he touched me with his noodly apendage.I’m sorry,I respect all religion,but this is something you’d find coming bulls ass.How can you live with yourself.You seem pathetic,and full of shat.Your the mockery of this bullshit race of humans.Me and my friend actually considered being “pastafarian” just be ridiculous for a day.I know you don’t take too much shit seriously enough to get through your now worthless life.I’
m done trying to make sense out of this,my friend would also like a word with you. <3,Erin
I’m sorry, but this is beyond ridiculous
Published by Bobby Henderson January 26th, 2009 in Hate Mail (and concerned criticism). 160 Comments
160 Responses to “I’m sorry, but this is beyond ridiculous”
Erin, ye be borin enough to make me want to make ye walk the plank, just to make yerself a wee bit less borin-like.
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Huh? You lost me after I’m. Usually I can get a rough idea of what uneducated cretins are trying to say, but the sentence construction and grammar of this one have defeated me. I will ignore the spelling, just as you have. If you are are finished with grade school, persuade your parents to hire a tutor. No doubt someone else is reading this to you, maybe they can help you construct a decipherable message next time. Hate mail(I’m just guessing) is wasted when no-one can understand what you’re saying.
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Hm. I’m confused, here. Is this person condemning us, or making some sort of joke? The message is so mangled, I’m honestly not sure….
Was this, perhaps, originally sent to a specific person? It might make a bit more sense like that.
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Another fake hate mail. :(
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I’m sorry, but your post was beyond ridiculous. The only sentance I could make heads or tails of was: “It’s all your fault he touched me with his noodly apendage”… Which still does not make any sense. Being touched by his noodly apendage is a good thing.
…Does your friend type like you do? If so, tell him/her not to bother having a ‘word’ with us.
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Word of advice: Don’t smoke crack and comment on blogs. It’s not pretty, ever.
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Love you too baby ;-P
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I understand that you feel His call but deliberately close your heart to truth. Open up! Let His divine appendages reach into your heart and make it whole! If you don’t, you will live your whole life with an FSM-shaped hole in your chest, spiritually speaking. Please make the right choice. Ramen!
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Hmmm, for a child “Less Than Three” [3,Erin, you are an illiterate dunce.
Yes, I belong to the “Bullshit Race of Humans.” What galaxy are you from?
Full of Shat? Is that your race’s word for profound knowledge?
ARGON, The Noble Gas, votes thumbs down.
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File this one under “doesn’t understand the concept of satire”
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Has someone made a pastafarian hatemail generator? The last few hatemails have been incoherent yet are spelled more correctly than not.
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A very articulate critique of Pastafarianism. May ye forever suffer the stale ale of Pastafarian Hell. -RAmen
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You’re done trying to make sense out of this?
Well, I’m done trying to make sense of your letter. I really think you need to get a writing lesson.
RAmen.
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I’ve never seen anyone butcher the English language so completely. Turn your computer off right now, go to school and get some help from your teacher. Speak to us when you’re able to form an intelligent sentence.
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“Beyond ridiculous” is sort of the point. It holds the “real” religions up to proper scrutiny. Question to fellow Pastafarians; is the bad grammar and spelling etc. a little too well constructed for this one to be real?
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Does your friend speak and write English?
If so, it would be such a welcome change. Please have him/her get in touch, right after the arrangements for your remedial classes have been made.
Yours articulately,
Pasta Fairy-Anne
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I really like how he says “I respect all religion” and then follows that with “this is something you’d find coming bulls ass”, “You seem pathetic,and full of shit”, “You’re the mockery of this bullshit race of humans” and “I know you don’t take too much shit seriously enough to get through your now worthless life”
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Hey, I don’t think you’re leaving comments on scientology, and every schizophrenic’s website, so what makes us special? Scared? ‘Cause pathetic people don’t get hate mailed, they get ignored. Only threatening people get hate mail, and that means you’re taking it more seriously than most of us are.
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“
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I’m sorry, but the state of the education system is Ridiculous to produce people like you who are both ignorant and self righteous. Try reading what something is about first. You didn’t now we are all thinking what an ignorant person you are and how glad we are not you….. Well it appears we both got something out of this. You “think” we are ridiculous, we “know” your a self righteous illiterate.
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Fake.
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Shouldn’t you and your friends be studying so you could pass 4th grade English this time around?
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Dear Erin:
You call us pathetic and you can’t even write a coherent email? Get over it and move on.
Meisha
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My brain hurts just from trying to make sense of this post. I think I’ll stop now, for fear that reading it again will make me dumber.
Ramen
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I briefly considered adding up all the grammar and spelling errors here, but the sheer scope of the task daunted me. The logic errors are far fewer, but far more disturbing to contemplate.
Instead, I’ll point out my favorite typo. In the third to last line, when she correctly placed an apostrophe after the “I” in “I’m” but also added a carriage return. I’d call that a catastrophic misspelling.
Damn, I have to quote this, too. “Your the mockery of this bullshit race of humans.” Just an atom bomb of indiscriminate derision! We all get caught in the blast.
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Fake! At least the real ones have basic sentence structure.
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Hey 3,Erin,
I’m sorry, you’re beyond ridiculous. It’s all your fault that I’m cracking up. I do not respect any religion*, but Bobby has hit the bull’s eye here. How can you be so idiotic. What is a “shat”? Nice to know to you, mankind is bullshit. I actually once considered going to a church or mosque, just to fool around for one day. I do take pastafarianism seriously enough to have a good laugh at trolls like you. I’m done trying to make sense of your post. Tell your friend to bring it on, the more trolls the merrier my life.
*In the sense of giving it any deference it hasn’t earned.
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Dear Prophet Bobby,
I’m sorry,but this is beyond ridiculous. I’m all for publishing Hate Mail (and concerned criticism), but this one is not worthy of our time (or yours).
RAmen
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Anybody who can’t take the FSM seriously cannot therefore take any religion seriously. They are all created by men to answer questions and to control people’s behaviour. The fact that the FSM upsets so many of you only shows how ignorant you are. It was and is no different than the cock-a-mamie made up stuff of all religions. Duh.
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Thats the point dumbass.
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Erin, you’re less than 3? You’re pretty smart then!
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And He is beyond even that. His ways are higher than our ways; His thoughts higher than our thoughts; His deliciousness beyond any other.
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My God spells better than your God.
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Simple really (a bit like you) – we don’t take it seriously.
Get your friend to post here too – we are bound to enjoy the equally illiterate comments ;-)
I think you will find that all religion comes out of a “bulls ass” (is that a cross between a cow and a donkey?)
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Spelling. Punctuation. Spacing. Omissions. Insulting. Ignorant. Less than three.
Right.
Another testimonial in favor of education reform.
RAmen
ET
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Go. Smoke. A. Lemon.
Seriously though (yes, we are sometimes), we KNOW we are mocking all the dumb shits and we WANT to mock them because they DESERVE mocking…
…And it’s rather fun.
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“this is something you’d find coming bulls ass”
what?
Oh for a peice of hate mail that was spelt right…
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it is relegion, it is not suposed to make sense
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Seriously…wow. I don’t know whether it’s wrong to not be surprised at how hypocritical the human race is. I read through the hate mail on this page and I lost count of how many times the christian religion was brought up. GET IT THROUGH YOUR HEADS (PLEASE); CHRISTIANISM IS NOT THE CENTER OF THE WORLD. Don’t get me wrong, I understand your beliefs and I respect and will recognize that a lot of it makes sense. I’ve read the bible, I’ve studied it so don’t come back at me with some idiotic remark on how I’m a lost soul. I’ll just laugh. You can personally tell me to go to hell, I will gladly. I don’t want yours or anyone else’s “perfection” if it means that I can’t spend every day of my life the way I WANT to spend it. Just because your head is too far up your ass, doesn’t mean other people have to join you. If you don’t like something be a MATURE person and ignore it instead of bringing it down because you feel threatened by it. Think logically. I understand some things are far fetched, but if you’re going to have a religion don’t be stupid about it. Let people believe what they want to believe. And besides, if that doesn’t get you to shut up, doesn’t the bible say only God is allowed to judge? Are you trying to play God, because that’s a sin.
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And we’re done trying to make sense of your bullshit email. I mean, yeah, I know grammar can’t be everyone’s friend, but damn dude…
Allow me to fix it for you:
“I’m sorry, but this is beyond ridiculous. It’s all your fault; He touched me with His Noodly Appendage. I’m sorry; I respect all religion, but this is something you’d find coming [from a] bulls ass. How can you live with yourselves? You seem pathetic, and full of shit. You’re the mockery of this bullshit race of humans. My friend and I actually considered becoming “Pastafarians,” just to be for a day. I know you don’t take too much shit seriously enough to get through your now worthless life. I’m done trying to make sense of this. My friend would also like a word with you.”
Now I shall break it down, piece by piece.
1) Is this really beyond ridiculous? Pastafarianism really doesn’t seem much more absurd than the other major religions (Christianity, Islam, etc)
2) Yes, He touched you with His Noodly Appendage, as He touches all of us. Some of us answer the call, and others choose to deny Him. Which category do you fall into?
3) You obviously DON’T respect all religion. I hate it when people throw that line in their emails/comments/etc to make it seem like they are less of an intolerant prick.
4) No, you generally find bullshit coming from a bull’s ass. Well, I don’t see any bullshit here. Moving on…
5) WE seem pathetic? Haha, yeah, sure buddy. You are the one who came onto a satire site, read a small bit of the content, and then decided to send an email complaining about it. I think YOU are the pathetic one, as you are too stupid to see the satire in this.
6) We are, indeed, NOT full of shat. Neither are we full of shit. By the way, shat is the past-tense verb of shit. So, while you think you are being clever by not actually swearing, you just look like more of a dumbass. Shat is the past-tense of shit, which makes no sense, as it would be impossible to be full of expelled excrement.
7) You, sir, are the mockery of the human race. Actually, no, you are a perfect specimen, a “poster-child,” if you will, for the majority of the human race. And by majority, I, of course, mean the ignorant, unwashed masses.
8) If we are so worthless, and we are soooo pathetic, why is it that you are wasting time on OUR site?
Fuck Off and Die, newfag
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Huh?
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RELIGION
SARCASTIC
PAY ATTENTION
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I have only three words for you my friend…
Adjust
Your
Medication
cheers
PC
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Yep, definitely fake.
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Before tearing into this thing, I’d like to take a moment to present the possibility that this is most likely fake hate mail. Nevertheless;
“I’m sorry,I respect all religion,but this is something you’d find coming bulls ass.”
Sort of like how people worship a jewish zombie that wants you to eat his flesh and drink his blood.
“You seem pathetic,and full of shat.’
You fail English forever.
“Me and my friend actually considered being “pastafarian” just be ridiculous for a day.”
My friends tried the same thing with Christianity too, it was funny.
“my friend would also like a word with you.”
Have her sent to my room.
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Good, your done, now go bye bye. In the future please stop embarassing your fellow chistians. As a christian you should know that no life is worthless.
Thank You
M. Christopher
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Your friend? Your invisible friend? Is he also under three, as you’ve indicated you are?
OK, back to basics:
1) Read “About”.
2) Read the Open Letter.
3) Learn what this site is about or else go away and leave us alone.
RAmen
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“m done trying to make sense out of this”
I read this post about 23 times and still cannot make any sense of it. Is it English? What do they teach in Sunday school? Definitely not proper spelling.
And who is your little friend? You know, for kids at the age of 10 it is still ok to have an imaginary friend, but judging by your foul language I suppose you are way older.
Maybe you shold seek professional help about your little friend.
You know, relax and have some pasta.
RAmen.
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Leaving aside the mind-buggeringly awful grammar (which made your rant hard to understand), who’s your friend? He’s a rabbit right? About 5′ 9″? Only you can see him?
Go and get some grammar lessons and then come back and have a decent rant. Hey, you can bring Harvey.
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Are you human?????If so, then you are part of this bull shit race of humans.
M. Christopher
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Clearly, drinking and typing do not mix.
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Most eloquently and grammatically well argued…
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Ok, i know this may be a little ridiculous but there are some reasons.
1. This makes just about as much sense as Christianity.Dress god in a spaghetti monster suit and that would pretty much be this religion.
2.It’s just fun. You can ask your friends if they are pastafarians and they will probably say no. well you can tell them what it is and they will probably laugh.
3. Given number 1 it might just be true
4. Just stop calling them stuff like “You seem pathetic,and full of shat.Your the mockery of this bullshit race of humans.” You could say that to christans. and they did during roman times. just let us do what we want and stop complaining.
RAmen
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you’re an idiot.
mainly because you can’t type or spell worth a “shat.”
take some grammar classes then you can try to come up with something a bit more intelligent.
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Erin,
You seem to be confused and torn about your beliefs. I can understand your feelings. It really is not easy to let go of reason and sense to embrace an almighty make believe god. Just relax and come into contact with your inner self and you will eventually feel touched. Besides, on pastafarianism has regular sightings, regularly registered on this site!
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His noodly appendage embraces you even if you think his gospel is “something you’d find coming bulls ass.” I’m curious to see your friend’s contribution. Hopefully it is a touch more coherent than yours.
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Bah, no sense of humor.
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Erin,
Your horrible grammar and disregard for punctuation in your witless comment proves that you do not have what it takes to be a Pastafarian: Brains and a sense of humor. You have the English composition skills of a 7yr old. However, FSM loves you even if you’re stupid!
~Emilee
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It’s certainly less rediculous than the fundies trying to have religion taught as science. That was after all the percipitating event for the entire movement. You need to take a chill pill, have a nice glass of red wine and get your feet up, maby have a nice plate of pasta, and if you want to feel that you in need of a windmill to tilt then there are lots of other causes out there for you on the web
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Must be a fake… didn’t mention “Our lord and savoir, jesus christ” even once.
And what the fuck does
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Er…what?
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ha HA! Who would have thought that there would be yet another to miss our point entirely!! Good Work Erin! You have succeeded in NOT Surprising me!! ARRR!!
RAmen,
Cap’m RedTom
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I think what you’re missing Erin is that FSM actually has a purpous. It stopped the teaching intelligent design in public schools. It’s about keeping education from slipping back to the 15th century. You don’t sound like a religious nutjob.
Hopefully you realize there’s a hint of satire in the website and there’s a greater purpose behind it then simply making fun of others religion.
That said. At least pasta is real.
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Way to prove your point of us not having a life, or being pathetic by resorting to cursing and death threats.
Do us all a favor and learn to write in English before bothering us, please.
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Would it be a coherent word Erin? Or does your friend have the same mental diarrhea you do?
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Perhaps you and your friend could work the beer volcano. Send pictures.
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Hate to se you leave us Erin. Sad to realize that were not Pirate enough to understand the basic meaning of our philosophy. Pastafarianism is a way of life full of joy!
Fear not Erin. We will not send you emails saying “Erin, we want you back” because we are very respectful of mainstream superstition and mostly because we don’t give a… ooops… sorry, I did not mean to use a xtrian-loving-form of expression.
Farewells depress me so much… may His Noodliness be with you.
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“Your the mockery of this bullshit race of humans.”
If you’re speaking of yourself, I couldn’t have said it better. Of course I would have used the correct form of the personal pronoun “You” and the antecedent “are”. This also means that I take life far more seriously than you and am quite correct in what I am going to write. As you have said:
Erin is less than 3.
RAmen.
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I’
m done trying to make sense out of this.
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Um…
WTF Mate? I don’t understand half of what you said! It isn’t in English!
On another note; We’re completely serious. Many of us are so serious we run companies and half decent families, unlike many other religious people who can’t keep their kids from doing drugs and abusing people.
So “Coming Bulls Ass” to you sir!
Ps. First comment! Maybe…
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Oh boy! First comment!
You have us down to a T Erin. You seem smarter than the average troll, since you can capitalize and use periods, but I see you’ve yet to master the art of putting a space following a period. I wonder of the church of scientology gets this much hate mail? Probably not, they have expensive lawyers to threaten outspoken critics with litigation.
Don’t worry Erin, we forgive you, and you may want to look up the definition of the word satire at some point in the future. You’re only in trouble if you take this more seriously than we do. You’re obviously lacking something essential in your life if you feel impelled to shoot of hatemail to people like us, since our lives are “worthless” as you put it.
As for this religion having come from a bull’s ass… you should provide some valid arguments to explain how conventional religion does not come from a bull’s ass, or at least why their bull’s ass is better than our bull’s ass.
“In the beginning, there was the bull’s ass…”
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What??
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Erin, I can tell you this, most people here are going to wonder just what we did to you to deserve such an incomprehensible spew from you. Probably nothing except to be more highly educated than you.
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Um, what?
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either this Erin person is two years old, blind, severally dyslexic, or a combination of the three. I have never seen such bad errors in the written English language in my LIFE!
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I’m done trying to make sense out of your terrible grammar and many typos.
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Read young Xian, please.
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I’m sorry, but your letter is beyond legible.
Please learn the proper conventions of punctuation and grammar.
Thank you,
Tenku.
P.S We don’t care if you and your friend think that the FSM is full of crap.
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“I’
m done trying to make sense out of this”
Thank goodness! You were failing miserably. You also completely missed the irony that is Pastafarianism. *hand over head* WOOSH!
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I’m TIRED OF ALL THESE TUCKING FYPOS…
Top rAmen
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Erin, were you typing in tongues cos I couldn’t make any fucking sense out of that shit?
Do you have a mental disorder?
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Well, that was quite difficult to understand due to all the spelling and grammar issues, and it’s a bit beyond the point I’d believe for a non-native English speaker…
Anyway, you aren’t SUPPOSED to be able to make sense out of this, because it is EXACTLY the same as all the other religions out there, and you can’t make sense of THEM either. That’s the POINT! BTW, read the open letter since you obviously haven’t
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@Supersnail – #53
“Dress god in a spaghetti monster suit and that would pretty much be this religion.”
He doesn’t have the legs (nor sufficient noodly appendages) to do such a fine suit justice…
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37 – January 27th, 2009 at – Jackass Says:
“this is something you’d find coming bulls ass”
what?
Oh for a peice of hate mail that was spelt right…
Oh, the irony!
RAmen
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OK, time to score this.
Punctuation and grammatical errors – I count 17.
Curse words – 2
Gratuitous all caps – None!
Telling us we’re going to hell – None!
Random bible quote – None!
You get a 19. But you considered being Pastafarian for a day just to be ridiculous, and also called the human race bullsh*t! You are SOO close to getting the joke! Read the open letter, and maybe you’ll get it and join us.
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Oh dear.
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Nyah Nyah Nyah … it goes on and on look up satire and irony in the dictionary or is it too easy to spell shit. Still what exactly are you talking about?
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“coming bulls ass” sounds like a dirty porn movie…… maybe she was in it and is trying to promote it.
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Avast, Pastafarians,
Please note that the February issue of Smithsonian Magazine is out with a dual special feature on two persons, born on the same day, February 12, 1809. It notes the special and continuing influence of both, Abraham Lincoln and Charles Darwin. Of Darwin’s book, “On the Origin of Species”, one of the articles says,”…Perhaps alone among scientific works, it remains scientifically relevant 150 years after its debut.” Let us celebrate Darwin on his 200th birthday for the month of February, and remember that whatever ignorance the hate mailers and troglodyte school boards hurl at us, we are right, and our cause is just.
Little Erin, with a grin,
Drank up all his daddy’s gin,
Said the tyke, when he was plastered,
Gotta write to Pasta faster(ed).
RAmen
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Hate mail does not compile.
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Erin, whatever you’re taking, I’d suggest giving it up
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Learn English before you post here next Erin. Next, you missed the point, you are an idiot, I feel very sorry for your parents.
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This letter hurts my head… Someone make it stop!
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Maybe we’re being to harsh on
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I love how no matter what kinda hate mail people send someone will call it fake, sorry but there really are people like this in the world, i’ve met some first hand.
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This made me laugh, I love it when people take offense to other peoples religions.
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… nah, stuff it.
Worst. Hatemail. Ever.
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“I’m done trying to make sense.”
This where you should have stopped the sentence. That would at least have been one true statement.
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Just living proof how important commas are.
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It really is depressing that your elementary school failed you so badly.
I would tell you to read a book and then try again, but maybe that would hurt you…?
Again, I really am sorry for you.
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These last few hate mails seem to be fakes to me. I post on several sites debating religion daily and I have never come across people who type and spell so poorly. Some of the people I actually debate are actually pretty smart and I have to stay on my toes, but these just take the cake. I also notice that several always sign their names in lowercase letters, which leads me to believe that they are done by the same person or people. Or…maybe it’s just the kind of people who come to mock this site.
Regardless, it is still fun to watch all the responses!
RAmen!
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I’m done trying to make sense of Erin’s post. It was overloaded with periods, but somehow still seemed to be one run-on sentance. Spaces after your punctuation might help, friend.
Question.
Why do you come to our website, our home, our place of worship and demand us to convert, or die in hell and eternal damnation, or just yell at us in your illiterate manner? At least it gives me something to do.
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Lets break this message down
Bullshit
Bullshit
Bullshit
Bullshit
Yeah basically
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Another hit-and-run word shitter
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if this is “ridiculous” and “shat” then every other religion is just the same
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Oh my! FSM wont be happy with that one, but dont worry, he is pitful and wont do you any bad, even though you don`t believe in him….yet.
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I think this wins the weirdest hate mail so far.
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Our prayers are with you. Over come your hate, Erin.
There is only one God (two meatballs, sure, and lots of spaghetti, but one God)
Our lives are our ministry…
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No beer volcanoes and stripper factory for you ERIN…
It’s very sad indeed =(=( but there’s always a way to be a faithful Pastafarian!!
Cheers from Mexico City!!
Ramen!!
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Well, if it is real, atleast she signed it with a
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“It’s all your fault he touched me with his noodly apendage”
*snortlaugh*
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On the way home from work today I noticed a sign on the bus from some Christian bible group.
“We have good news and bad news. What to you want first?”
Notice the spelling mistake in the second sentence?
All I could do was laugh! Even their proof-readers can’t spell. I guess this explains a lot about the people that send hate-mail to us. And to think that someone paid a lot of money to get this on; well I don’t know exactly how many buses but it is in the city of Toronto and we have about three million people living here.
Ya gotta laugh!
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I just had a thought that it could be fun just to see who has posted the absolute worst hate-mail. We’ve been collecting them for a few years now and some of them have been hilarious. I’ve noticed that a few Pastafarians have spent the time to do “correct versions”. A few other have graded them as to spelling and grammatical mistakes.We could potentially have a winner here with Erin.
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Stupid girls with their “
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People need to stop assuming this person is Christian. There ARE other idiots on the world, you know…
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This HAS to be a fake, no ones that stupid, I’m serious.
Whatever, I’m going to go enjoy one of the finest gifts the all holy FSM has blessed me with, *angelic quire plays* WEED! Which it also looks like this guy was on when he was bored enough to write this, he was probably all “Durh, I smoked it all and I have no more potato chips, and dude, I swear one of them had the Mona Lisa’s face on it man, dude, I’m going to venganza.org to get a rise outta people dude. lolz, I am good.” AND YOU ALL FELL FOR IT! Be ashamed Pastafarians, be ashamedm tut, tut.
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DAMN! I had a typo on the last “ashamed”. Oh well.
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I don’t get what the person is trying to say…
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To the person who wrote this letter:
Quit apologizing, because this letter and your apologies cancel eachother out. How can you live with yourself? Leave other peoples religions alone you #%#^*$%)!
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I liked the part where they put a little heart after their name. Hate mail is nice.
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I…don’t get it. What is she/he trying to say? I think it’s some emo Christian kid whining at us for ruining humanity, as if they hadn’t already done that.
No hate mail, no matter how poorly conceived, will make me ever give up the one true god, our Noodly Lord.
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You obviously have NO sense of humor and are completely enslaved to a primitive mode of thought– the FSM is The Word, but you can’t even appreciate the humor behind the existence of the FSM because you are such a fucking herd-minded idiot… good for you– you must be proud!!!
Has it ever occured to you that you might be wrong? An ability to question and personally confirm and/or reject ideologies in the world is the CORNERSTONE of an intelligent mind– you are obviously a total tool that not only has no sense of humor, but needs a psychiatric opiate (i.e., religion)to survive because you don’t have the capability to comprehend the harsh realities of life. If you believe that Jesus makes you a better person, then whatever– the almighty Flying Spaghetti Monster does that for me too. To me, God is God, whether it be the almighty FSM or just an entity that everyone individually comes to understand– the fact that you, as a Christian, think that anyone who doesnt have a relationship with Christ is doomed (and you do believe that, whether you admit it or not), is a TRAVESTY to “God”. I guarantee you that the Creator looks down on us every day and cries for hours over the fact that the Pope is responsible, by and large, for more deaths over the centuries than Hitler was. He’s sad about Muslims treating women like second-rate citizens, and he is just traumatized over the existence of religion in general– war and exclusion over religious ideals is the ANTITHESIS of what a loving creator wants, dumbass.
God exists, but he exists in wonderful, noodly goodness. You should be ASHAMED of disrespecting him by practicing ANY religion.
Counter that, smartass… if you want to quote the Bible, I am going to counter with quotes from The Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster belief system– your book has no more validity than ours does, and it will be CENTURIES before your legions get the fucking point– the only difference between us (the all holy CotFSM and your murdering,judging, gay bashing, mysoginistic religion)is that we realize and celebrate the fact that our religion is exactly like yours, in a way– we believe that the FSM is The Word, but we will never get into a holy war with anyone else because we have our own opinion of God that we’re not willing to negotiate.
Have fun with the flat beer cannons and disease-ridden strippers in Hell, genius.
–Elizabeth Steckler
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i bet you kill kittens
RAmen
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@113 – jeremykeys
Here’s one – how about we get them all together and have them write a new and improved version of the bible for our entertainment, complete with all our favourite hallmark christian grammatical fails – for example, “And god said LET THEIR B LIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” or “Thou shalt
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…
love thy neighbour, i idoits.’
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You joined to be silly for a day? I joined because I was shown the noodly light. Someday you may see the light.
RAmen
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I’m just curious, but what happened to all of you to cause you to hate God so much?
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What was the point of that? That was probably one of the most unintelligible paragraphs I have ever read.
R’Amen, and may you all be touched by His Noodly Appendage
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I love you guys! This site is amazing! Kudos!
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127 – February 8th, 2009 at – Jaime Says:
I’m just curious, but what happened to all of you to cause you to hate God so much?
Nothing, nobody said that. Who said that? He’s not real.
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Jaime, who says we hate god?
We don’t hate an imaginary being. That would be pointless.
We dislike ignorance though. And stupidity. And agression. And arrogance.
Pretty much sums up most religions I can think of.
I’ll pray to the Mighty FSM for you.
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Just laid a huge OS – Nang & I hear you clearly.
Just fornication, a frolic banquet I have never been invited to.
They haters of My name (Possessor of all Names, Titles)
Anah noting, just observe Babylon falling
right in front of your very eyes.
Do not worry, be exceedingly happy.
It is Conspiracy of unprecedented proportion!
Just be cool they worship other gods who are powerless.
Remember why Solomon fall from grace.
Yes he bowed down for idols & who of them are still doing!
Eve & Cain & Able’s Wrath – remember!
One Love!
Your LORD waiting for Our Jesus & real Holy Daughter of Jerusalem.
Beware My Soul is the BAB (the Door / Gate)
Jesus is Enoch concealed & Son of Christ Baha’u'llah
reigning on David’s Throne.
I might have missed My still unknown Lady in Jamaica!
Because Black is the ‘color’ We (Father & Son) lack.
Look for My Black Virgin.
Beware 2 ladies of past will return with stork’s wings.
I will engage Myself with them!
So let Us be patient because something is undercover in Babylon.
Peter’s pasture has some lost sheep who will break out of Peter
& Whore’s Pasture.
Satan built a wall, no one can come over till after 7 plagues
(result of first Wind [One Hour])
Be cool!
Cha Alom
LORD ALEXANDER
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If I must say anything…
Anything at all…
At least she put a
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feb. 10th, 2009, Zinc Alloy Sayd: >quote starttquote end
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feb. 10th, 2009, Zinc Alloy Sayd: quote startt … We dislike ignorance though. And stupidity. And agression. And arrogance.
Pretty much sums up most religions I can think of. quote end
i dont think so. in my opinion its typically for 1-god-relgions in general and especially of course for the famous 3 from the desert. pagans and alike on the other side are quite cool about different believes, as they have so many gods and godesses … one more wouldnt bother them much i think. well, just a thought.
i only can hope pastafarianism is different to judaism, christendom and islamism. but i see the danger, so this is a warning to all followers! :-)
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Honestly, who doesn’t put a space after a period?
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How are we full of shat?
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Look, dumbass. The Flying Spaghetti Monster is made up. It is a fabrication designed to challenge the notion that religious theories of creationism or “intelligent design” ought to be taught in schools. For if God’s intelligent design, why not the Flying Spaghetti Monster’s intelligent design?
The Flying Spaghetti Monster is supposed to seem ridiculous because it is. But the reason it’s considered more ridiculous than Christianity is that millions of people believe in it, and only a few ten thousands “believe” in the FSM. In reality, Yahweh and the FSM are equally ridiculous. That’s the whole point.
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Erin, if you can not make sense of this you must be really stupid or you suffer from a mental disability. If so, I am sorry. If you are just stupid, well there is not much we can do. Since dumb people flock together your friend must be just as pathetic.
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omg, is he/she/it really serious?
Maybe, if he/she/it is lucky, our great Noodly Lord will touch her/him/it. All of us will pray for that to happen^^
Siempre fiel al Monesvol,
El comentarista anónimo.
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What in the name of noodles is this? The Church of FSM is about friendship beyond religions and how silly it is to manically follow some book… I don’t get what the deal is with this hate-mailer.
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Jaime, I’m just curious, but what happened to you to make you hate Our Noodly Master so much?
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was that even a coherent thought?
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Pasta la vista, baby!
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This site is brilliant – I haven’t laughed so much in ages, count me in as a ‘follower’! The funniest part is the hate-mail, absolute loons one and all! All FSM supporters should check out the http://www.the-brights.net – keep up the good work!
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May you be covered in the sauce of his noodley appendage until you see the light. Ramen ;)
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“Your[sic] the mockery of this bullshit race of humans” – Erin, if you are going to form an opinion on this matter, at least have the common decency to use the correct grammar for its purpose. How can you chastise someone when you are unable to even grasp the basic grammatical concept of ‘your’ and ‘you’re’? Christina
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Please just try to be nice.
It seems like this website is constantly being clogged up with mean, angry people who just can’t handle people having fun, and Christians who just can’t handle another religion coming into existence.
RAmen.
It makes me ashamed, though.
My best friend’s name is Erin and she is a Pastafarian.
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I agree with Christina. The Flying Spaghetti Monster idea is far too silly to believe.
Now talking snakes, virgin births, packing every animal on a wooden boat for weeks (along with enough food to sustain them), direct, audible communication with an omnipotent deity, human beings transforming into pillars of salt, etc…. THAT makes absolutely, without a doubt, PERFECT sense. Praise Jesus!
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Hey, MIke (#149) – don’t forget the parting of seas and my personal favorite: talking, flaming shrubery!
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You just don’t….get it, do you? How dare you say we’re full of shat! If that made any sense, I’d be incredibly offended.
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Why do they always end with “all my love” or “
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Shat is the past tense word of shit.
Ex. Yesterday I shat on Erin’s face.
Do you understand?
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Uhm……I’m from Norway, and don’t really know that much about English grammar and way of speech, so can anyone tell me where i should use the expression ” coming bulls ass ” (from the above letter….)
B.T.W. I find FSM somewhat strange and maybe a bit too food-centered, but I can feel the crave for Italian food growing inside my heart, much like jesus in the heart of the ” newborn ”
So!
Pasta it is!:)
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@ – mr. Trinborg #154,
The English grammar of many hate-mailers, this one included, is very strange and fractured. Many of us for whom English is our native language need to reread some of these rants several times to try to get the sense of what they are trying to say. Even then, it is sometimes unclear to us (Your phrase in question included). We can only presume that the writer is in such a state of passion and fury that they have disconnected their thinking brain from their composing fingers. Here’s a good study of these people:
http://home.cc.umanitoba.ca/~altemey/
RAmen
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I hope this clears things up for you.
http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/satire
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I’d particularly like to know how you’d like to make sense of anything when your commas seem to be attached to the second phrases of your sentences.
Thar she blows!
RAmen
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My name is Erin and I’m a pastafarian ^_^
I don’t understand why this other Erin is so angry at His Noodliness. If she truly respects all religions what is her problem with Pastafarianism?
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I´m scared his frien want to talk whit me or us…or something I don´t realy get it
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If you used spaces, I might understand this letter better, or even if you used something RESEMBLING proper grammar. If you want to get a point across LEARN HOW TO WRITE FIRST!
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