I’m sorry,but this is beyond ridiculous.It’s all your fault he touched me with his noodly apendage.I’m sorry,I respect all religion,but this is something you’d find coming bulls ass.How can you live with yourself.You seem pathetic,and full of shat.Your the mockery of this bullshit race of humans.Me and my friend actually considered being “pastafarian” just be ridiculous for a day.I know you don’t take too much shit seriously enough to get through your now worthless life.I’
m done trying to make sense out of this,my friend would also like a word with you. <3,Erin
I’m sorry, but this is beyond ridiculous
Published by Bobby Henderson January 26th, 2009 in Hate Mail (and concerned criticism). 160 Comments
160 Responses to “I’m sorry, but this is beyond ridiculous”
Erin, ye be borin enough to make me want to make ye walk the plank, just to make yerself a wee bit less borin-like.
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Huh? You lost me after I’m. Usually I can get a rough idea of what uneducated cretins are trying to say, but the sentence construction and grammar of this one have defeated me. I will ignore the spelling, just as you have. If you are are finished with grade school, persuade your parents to hire a tutor. No doubt someone else is reading this to you, maybe they can help you construct a decipherable message next time. Hate mail(I’m just guessing) is wasted when no-one can understand what you’re saying.
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Hm. I’m confused, here. Is this person condemning us, or making some sort of joke? The message is so mangled, I’m honestly not sure….
Was this, perhaps, originally sent to a specific person? It might make a bit more sense like that.
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Another fake hate mail. :(
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I’m sorry, but your post was beyond ridiculous. The only sentance I could make heads or tails of was: “It’s all your fault he touched me with his noodly apendage”… Which still does not make any sense. Being touched by his noodly apendage is a good thing.
…Does your friend type like you do? If so, tell him/her not to bother having a ‘word’ with us.
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Word of advice: Don’t smoke crack and comment on blogs. It’s not pretty, ever.
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Love you too baby ;-P
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I understand that you feel His call but deliberately close your heart to truth. Open up! Let His divine appendages reach into your heart and make it whole! If you don’t, you will live your whole life with an FSM-shaped hole in your chest, spiritually speaking. Please make the right choice. Ramen!
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Hmmm, for a child “Less Than Three” [3,Erin, you are an illiterate dunce.
Yes, I belong to the “Bullshit Race of Humans.” What galaxy are you from?
Full of Shat? Is that your race’s word for profound knowledge?
ARGON, The Noble Gas, votes thumbs down.
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File this one under “doesn’t understand the concept of satire”
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Has someone made a pastafarian hatemail generator? The last few hatemails have been incoherent yet are spelled more correctly than not.
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A very articulate critique of Pastafarianism. May ye forever suffer the stale ale of Pastafarian Hell. -RAmen
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You’re done trying to make sense out of this?
Well, I’m done trying to make sense of your letter. I really think you need to get a writing lesson.
RAmen.
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I’ve never seen anyone butcher the English language so completely. Turn your computer off right now, go to school and get some help from your teacher. Speak to us when you’re able to form an intelligent sentence.
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“Beyond ridiculous” is sort of the point. It holds the “real” religions up to proper scrutiny. Question to fellow Pastafarians; is the bad grammar and spelling etc. a little too well constructed for this one to be real?
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Does your friend speak and write English?
If so, it would be such a welcome change. Please have him/her get in touch, right after the arrangements for your remedial classes have been made.
Yours articulately,
Pasta Fairy-Anne
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I really like how he says “I respect all religion” and then follows that with “this is something you’d find coming bulls ass”, “You seem pathetic,and full of shit”, “You’re the mockery of this bullshit race of humans” and “I know you don’t take too much shit seriously enough to get through your now worthless life”
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Hey, I don’t think you’re leaving comments on scientology, and every schizophrenic’s website, so what makes us special? Scared? ‘Cause pathetic people don’t get hate mailed, they get ignored. Only threatening people get hate mail, and that means you’re taking it more seriously than most of us are.
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“
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I’m sorry, but the state of the education system is Ridiculous to produce people like you who are both ignorant and self righteous. Try reading what something is about first. You didn’t now we are all thinking what an ignorant person you are and how glad we are not you….. Well it appears we both got something out of this. You “think” we are ridiculous, we “know” your a self righteous illiterate.
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Fake.
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Shouldn’t you and your friends be studying so you could pass 4th grade English this time around?
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Dear Erin:
You call us pathetic and you can’t even write a coherent email? Get over it and move on.
Meisha
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My brain hurts just from trying to make sense of this post. I think I’ll stop now, for fear that reading it again will make me dumber.
Ramen
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I briefly considered adding up all the grammar and spelling errors here, but the sheer scope of the task daunted me. The logic errors are far fewer, but far more disturbing to contemplate.
Instead, I’ll point out my favorite typo. In the third to last line, when she correctly placed an apostrophe after the “I” in “I’m” but also added a carriage return. I’d call that a catastrophic misspelling.
Damn, I have to quote this, too. “Your the mockery of this bullshit race of humans.” Just an atom bomb of indiscriminate derision! We all get caught in the blast.
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Fake! At least the real ones have basic sentence structure.
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Hey 3,Erin,
I’m sorry, you’re beyond ridiculous. It’s all your fault that I’m cracking up. I do not respect any religion*, but Bobby has hit the bull’s eye here. How can you be so idiotic. What is a “shat”? Nice to know to you, mankind is bullshit. I actually once considered going to a church or mosque, just to fool around for one day. I do take pastafarianism seriously enough to have a good laugh at trolls like you. I’m done trying to make sense of your post. Tell your friend to bring it on, the more trolls the merrier my life.
*In the sense of giving it any deference it hasn’t earned.
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Dear Prophet Bobby,
I’m sorry,but this is beyond ridiculous. I’m all for publishing Hate Mail (and concerned criticism), but this one is not worthy of our time (or yours).
RAmen
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Anybody who can’t take the FSM seriously cannot therefore take any religion seriously. They are all created by men to answer questions and to control people’s behaviour. The fact that the FSM upsets so many of you only shows how ignorant you are. It was and is no different than the cock-a-mamie made up stuff of all religions. Duh.
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Thats the point dumbass.
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Erin, you’re less than 3? You’re pretty smart then!
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And He is beyond even that. His ways are higher than our ways; His thoughts higher than our thoughts; His deliciousness beyond any other.
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My God spells better than your God.
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Simple really (a bit like you) – we don’t take it seriously.
Get your friend to post here too – we are bound to enjoy the equally illiterate comments ;-)
I think you will find that all religion comes out of a “bulls ass” (is that a cross between a cow and a donkey?)
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Spelling. Punctuation. Spacing. Omissions. Insulting. Ignorant. Less than three.
Right.
Another testimonial in favor of education reform.
RAmen
ET
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Go. Smoke. A. Lemon.
Seriously though (yes, we are sometimes), we KNOW we are mocking all the dumb shits and we WANT to mock them because they DESERVE mocking…
…And it’s rather fun.
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“this is something you’d find coming bulls ass”
what?
Oh for a peice of hate mail that was spelt right…
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it is relegion, it is not suposed to make sense
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Seriously…wow. I don’t know whether it’s wrong to not be surprised at how hypocritical the human race is. I read through the hate mail on this page and I lost count of how many times the christian religion was brought up. GET IT THROUGH YOUR HEADS (PLEASE); CHRISTIANISM IS NOT THE CENTER OF THE WORLD. Don’t get me wrong, I understand your beliefs and I respect and will recognize that a lot of it makes sense. I’ve read the bible, I’ve studied it so don’t come back at me with some idiotic remark on how I’m a lost soul. I’ll just laugh. You can personally tell me to go to hell, I will gladly. I don’t want yours or anyone else’s “perfection” if it means that I can’t spend every day of my life the way I WANT to spend it. Just because your head is too far up your ass, doesn’t mean other people have to join you. If you don’t like something be a MATURE person and ignore it instead of bringing it down because you feel threatened by it. Think logically. I understand some things are far fetched, but if you’re going to have a religion don’t be stupid about it. Let people believe what they want to believe. And besides, if that doesn’t get you to shut up, doesn’t the bible say only God is allowed to judge? Are you trying to play God, because that’s a sin.
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And we’re done trying to make sense of your bullshit email. I mean, yeah, I know grammar can’t be everyone’s friend, but damn dude…
Allow me to fix it for you:
“I’m sorry, but this is beyond ridiculous. It’s all your fault; He touched me with His Noodly Appendage. I’m sorry; I respect all religion, but this is something you’d find coming [from a] bulls ass. How can you live with yourselves? You seem pathetic, and full of shit. You’re the mockery of this bullshit race of humans. My friend and I actually considered becoming “Pastafarians,” just to be for a day. I know you don’t take too much shit seriously enough to get through your now worthless life. I’m done trying to make sense of this. My friend would also like a word with you.”
Now I shall break it down, piece by piece.
1) Is this really beyond ridiculous? Pastafarianism really doesn’t seem much more absurd than the other major religions (Christianity, Islam, etc)
2) Yes, He touched you with His Noodly Appendage, as He touches all of us. Some of us answer the call, and others choose to deny Him. Which category do you fall into?
3) You obviously DON’T respect all religion. I hate it when people throw that line in their emails/comments/etc to make it seem like they are less of an intolerant prick.
4) No, you generally find bullshit coming from a bull’s ass. Well, I don’t see any bullshit here. Moving on…
5) WE seem pathetic? Haha, yeah, sure buddy. You are the one who came onto a satire site, read a small bit of the content, and then decided to send an email complaining about it. I think YOU are the pathetic one, as you are too stupid to see the satire in this.
6) We are, indeed, NOT full of shat. Neither are we full of shit. By the way, shat is the past-tense verb of shit. So, while you think you are being clever by not actually swearing, you just look like more of a dumbass. Shat is the past-tense of shit, which makes no sense, as it would be impossible to be full of expelled excrement.
7) You, sir, are the mockery of the human race. Actually, no, you are a perfect specimen, a “poster-child,” if you will, for the majority of the human race. And by majority, I, of course, mean the ignorant, unwashed masses.
8) If we are so worthless, and we are soooo pathetic, why is it that you are wasting time on OUR site?
Fuck Off and Die, newfag
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Huh?
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RELIGION
SARCASTIC
PAY ATTENTION
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I have only three words for you my friend…
Adjust
Your
Medication
cheers
PC
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Yep, definitely fake.
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Before tearing into this thing, I’d like to take a moment to present the possibility that this is most likely fake hate mail. Nevertheless;
“I’m sorry,I respect all religion,but this is something you’d find coming bulls ass.”
Sort of like how people worship a jewish zombie that wants you to eat his flesh and drink his blood.
“You seem pathetic,and full of shat.’
You fail English forever.
“Me and my friend actually considered being “pastafarian” just be ridiculous for a day.”
My friends tried the same thing with Christianity too, it was funny.
“my friend would also like a word with you.”
Have her sent to my room.
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Good, your done, now go bye bye. In the future please stop embarassing your fellow chistians. As a christian you should know that no life is worthless.
Thank You
M. Christopher
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Your friend? Your invisible friend? Is he also under three, as you’ve indicated you are?
OK, back to basics:
1) Read “About”.
2) Read the Open Letter.
3) Learn what this site is about or else go away and leave us alone.
RAmen
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“m done trying to make sense out of this”
I read this post about 23 times and still cannot make any sense of it. Is it English? What do they teach in Sunday school? Definitely not proper spelling.
And who is your little friend? You know, for kids at the age of 10 it is still ok to have an imaginary friend, but judging by your foul language I suppose you are way older.
Maybe you shold seek professional help about your little friend.
You know, relax and have some pasta.
RAmen.
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Leaving aside the mind-buggeringly awful grammar (which made your rant hard to understand), who’s your friend? He’s a rabbit right? About 5′ 9″? Only you can see him?
Go and get some grammar lessons and then come back and have a decent rant. Hey, you can bring Harvey.
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Are you human?????If so, then you are part of this bull shit race of humans.
M. Christopher
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