“For all the gods of the peoples are idols, but the LORD made the heavens.” (1 Chronicles 16:26).
“You shall not make anything to be with Me – gods of silver or gods of gold you shall not make for yourselves.” (Exodus 20:23).
“What you have in your mind shall never be, when you say, ‘We will be like the Gentiles, like the families in other countries, serving wood and stone.’” (Ezekiel 20:32).
“Thou shalt have no other gods before me. Exodus 20:3 (Deuteronomy 5:7, Judges 6:10, Hosea 13:4″
-Jerry
For all the gods of the peoples are idols
Published by Bobby Henderson January 5th, 2009 in Hate Mail (and concerned criticism). 218 Comments
218 Responses to “For all the gods of the peoples are idols”
OK, this has got to be the lamest attempt at a hate mail yet. Still, let’s try to break it down, shall we?
First- Effort. Given the overall quality of previous hatemail, Jerry, your desperate fear of committing spelling and grammar errors is (at least in my opinion) fully justified. That said, it still doesn’t excuse trying to get by using nothing but cut-and-paste quotes by somebody else. Total fail for lack of effort.
Second- Context. Firing off a set of ambiguous quotes at a bunch of people who include few bible students, with absolutely no clarifying text. Total fail for lack of effort AND intelligibility.
Third- Coherence. In your desperation to snag some easy cut/ pastes you mixed up some stuff about graven images (which we tend to avoid in favor of CGI and edibles, BTW) with the exclusive-worship clause from the Sinai Pact (which only applies to Christians, Jews, and Muslims, you lugnut!). Total fail for lack of effort, and a slack-jawed inability to even stay on message.
Honestly, Jerry, the only thing you managed to do properly, was spell your name right. Assuming, that is, you’re not actually a ‘Geraldine’ or something…
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
These are the edicts of the desert god to his chosen people, and apply to them. Pleading the laws of your faith against us places no obligation against us. No more than the laws of Cairo apply to the citizens of Boston, Houston, London, or Glasgow. We do not insist on your adherence to the Pasta Path. Who are we to question why His Noodliness has chosen not to reveal Himself unto you? Until you are touched by His Noodly Appendage, nothing we can say or do will reach your heart. It is not a matter of our choice. If one can truly choose a deity, then surely that being is no god for the Chosen is the lesser of the Chooser. No our Gods choose us.
So, in sympathy, we may only pray that the L-inguini O-mni R-amen D-eus, His Noodliness, the Flying Spaghetti Monster will invite you to the party. The Ultimate Decision is His alone. May the Sauce be with you.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Thanks Jerry! The quite obvious point of this post is that the ancient rabbis who invented their god had no problem with a pasta based rival. Wood,stone gold and silver were unpopular with those old fellows but no mention is made of a tomato based sauce or meatballs. Or, just maybe, the original jehova contained more garlic and basil than the later followers of that radical lefty, jebus, have let on.Hmmmm, just a thought. By the way Jerry, your punctuation and spelling is way above the usual hate mail standard, and kudos to you for not swearing or making death/eternal damnation/violence threats.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Where do these lines come from? Some old video game, like “All Your Base Are Belong To Us”? I think I’ve heard about “Gentiles” before – some band from the 70s, “Gentile Giant” or something? Well, these lines don’t rhyme, so please try again.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Bible quotes… how interesting and original and relevant and prooving and undeniable… sigh…
Oh… sorry… I had a little of irony tea…
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Oh no, he quoted sci-fi at us! What ever shall we do?
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Silver, gold, wood and stone – that’s lucky the bible doesn’t mention pasta
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
whoa… a list of scriptures, but it doesn’t say anything about making gods of pasta so we should be safe
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
“Who ate my toast?” Exodus 20:4 (Deuteronomy 5:7, Judges 6:10, Hosea 13:4
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
“For all the gods of the peoples are idols, but the LORD made the heavens.” (1 Chronicles 16:26).
.
Which doesn’t mean that your lord isn’t also an idol. Or could also be construed as your lord made the heavens, but is not a god. This passage also acknowledges the existence of other gods.
.
“You shall not make anything to be with Me – gods of silver or gods of gold you shall not make for yourselves.” (Exodus 20:23).
.
It only forbids gold and silver ones. I don’t see any prohibition on carbohydrate based deities.
.
“What you have in your mind shall never be, when you say, ‘We will be like the Gentiles, like the families in other countries, serving wood and stone.’” (Ezekiel 20:32).
.
Again, we serve The Noodly One and delicious grog. All that passage says is that our religion does this, while their religion does that.
.
“Thou shalt have no other gods before me. Exodus 20:3 (Deuteronomy 5:7, Judges 6:10, Hosea 13:4″
.
Here the bible acknowledges there are gods other than Yahweh/Jehova/Whatever. Why say that Yahweh/Jehova/Whatever must be put in front of other gods, if there aren’t other gods?
.
Dude, the bible isn’t proof of anything. Spouting biblical quotes isn’t going to make us believe in the god of Abraham. Also, you didn’t include any of your own thoughts, just quotes from others, which leads me to assume you don’t have many thoughts of your own that aren’t twisted by your religious beliefs.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Jerry Jerry Jerry,
these are quotes from that book about the jealous god, the one who doesn’t like Gentiles (you must be Jewish or confused). He’s such a nasty character, so egocentric with all that worship me or else crap and not the kind of god I’d want to believe in. I read that second installment about his son hanging around with 12 men and a prostitute. Long hair and a dress, his Dad must have been very dissapointed, no grandkids! I blame the mother, all that talk of virginity is enough to turn any boy queer. I’ve heard say that Joseph was an alcoholic and beat his wench Mary in front of the boy but that tragic part of his life was cut from the zombie cult gospels by the Vatican. I don’t think Joseph ever believed her story and after a few drinks just couldn’t control his rage. You know how religious types get when they find out they’ve been living a lie. He should have given himself over to His Noodliness and accepted that his son was gay and his wife was “everybody’s girl” and that it’s ok by our Lord The flying Spaghetti Monster, we’re all his children. Story might have had a nicer ending.
Mel Gibson’s film version was hilarious, did Jesus ever do stand-up? You could see why all the boys liked him, always ready to turn the other cheek, although I’ve never been into S&M myself it was refreshing to see that the usually whimpy Jesus wasn’t adverse to a bit of a whipping. Naughty boy!!
RAMEN
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Perhaps you meant “for all the gods of the religious are idiots”?
-Tom
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
“For all the gods of the peoples are idols, but the LORD made the heavens.”
And the mountains and the trees and a midget.
“You shall not make anything to be with Me – gods of silver or gods of gold you shall not make for yourselves.”
This says nothing about gods of pasta, so I guess that must be okay then.
“What you have in your mind shall never be, when you say, ‘We will be like the Gentiles, like the families in other countries, serving wood and stone.’”
Serving wood and stone … this must refer to wood fired pizza served on those pizza stones – Italian food, one of the great gifts from his noodliness!!!
“Thou shalt have no other gods before me.
This must mean there can be no gods as an entree, and of course pasta is always the main course!
Thank you Jerry for providing these quotes to show that the Christian bible supports the FSM.
RAmen
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Are those quotes from Harry Potter or The Lord of the Rings?
man… there’s too many fantasy story books for me to keep track of.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
“Thou who would quote the words of another without thinking only prove thyself to be a moron.” (Ultra Magnus 15:12, Covenant of Primus)
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Who are those quotes by? It sounds like a some spoiled rotten attention seeking 7th grader who is having whiny tantrums because no one takes him seriously.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
“I am right, and the previous statement pertains to what is being discussed” Gospel of Fred, 3:21
See, I too can “prove” my case by quoting scripture.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Jerry,
Humans cloned Dinosaurs and made an amusment park about them. -Jurassic Park 1:1
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Hey Jerry (any relation to Jerry Falwell ?). FSM is a lot better than Yahweh. He doesn’t take credit for mass rapes or infanticide. He doesn’t dwell on imaginary kingdoms like Solomon. He doesn’t condone violence. Most importantly, he is not jealous. Yahweh, the Holy Ghost and Allah all have a lesson or two to learn from FSM.
And by the way he is not silver, gold, wood or stone. He is noodles and meatballs. The Old Testament doesn’t prohibit that. Either it’s OK, or Yahweh didn’t see it coming.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Well, I guess we’re okay then. Says nothing about Gods of pasta. but I do have to wonder what the Gods of all the other religions have to say about this.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Yeah, that be what all the gods say. Mine offers a beer volcano! Arg.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Jerry:
Unless you’re a Jewish person, you’re a Gentile.
Thought you should know that.
Meisha
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Aren’t all of those book a bit outdated?
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Yes yes, we’ve heard this before. The bible is true because the bible says it’s true. Checkmate!
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Here are some quotes back at ya’:
If some people don’t believe in me, that’s okay. Really, I’m not that vain. Besides, this isn’t about them so don’t change the subject. (from the 1st I’d really rather you didn’t of the FSM)
I’D REALLY RATHER YOU DIDN’T use my existence as a means to oppress, subjugate, punish, eviscerate, and/or, you know, be mean to others. I don’t require sacrifices, and purity is for drinking water, not people. (2nd I’d really rather you didn’t of the FSM)
Just play nice, Okay? (from the 3rd I’d really rather you didn’t of the FSM)
And I told you to love your fellow man, can’t you take a hint? (from the 7th I’d really rather you didn’t of the FSM)
May you be touched by His Noodly Appendage.
RAmen!
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
A Christian that can read? Proper grammar? This must be fake.
Hmm… Granted, other than his name everything was quoted. Maybe it is real.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
from the gospel of the flying spaghetti monster:
“I’d really rather you didn’t act like a sanctimonious holier-than-thou ass when describing my noodly goodness. If some people don’t believe in me, that’s okay. Really, I’m not that vain. Besides, this isn’t about them so don’t change the subject.”
See? I can quote scripture too!
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Wow Jerry, you totally know how to quote stuff from a dusty old book. Well done.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Hi Jerry. Who wrote the bible? And all the stuff in the old testament? Did those books materialized themselves in the middle of a vilage after a big voice in the sky said “This is my rules, obey them!”? No they have been written by men, to control men. You cannot prove what is said in the bible is really God’s will because NOBODY have ever talked to him, except if you are insane. So stop using the bible as an evidence, since it’s thousands pages of retarded bullshit, very far from the truth.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Be original. Write your own hatemail instead of quoting dead people.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Oh, look- bible references. You know, I could probably pull some random passage out of there and sound all fire and brimstone.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Wow you can copy and paste! I’m Convinced!
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Its ironic that religious people always think everyone else is worshiping a false god/idol. But other religious people who believe in a different god think the same thing — that thiers is the only true god. But as it turns out, since there is no god, they are all just worshiping false idols. Nuts.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Hey let’s all quote some lines from fictional books…
“It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife.” (Jayne Austen)
“It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us, we were all going direct to Heaven, we were all going direct the other way–in short, the period was so.” (Charles Dickens)
“Once upon a time there was a Martian named Valentine Michael Smith.” (Robert Heinlein)
That was fun.
Now, what was your point extactly?
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Nothing like people who quote Bible verses to people who DON’T BELIEVE. Why not just “neener neener” at the end of your post? It would be as effective.
Here’s some of MY favorite Bible verses:
“How blessed will be the one who seizes and dashes your little ones Against the rock.”
Psalm 137:9 NASB
(why not read this to your children tonight?)
“Yet she increased her prostitution, remembering the days of her youth when she engaged in prostitution in the land of Egypt. She lusted after their genitals – as large as those of donkeys, and their seminal emission was as strong as that of stallions.”
3. Ezekiel 23:19-20 NET
(who needs porn when you have the Bible?)
“If two men, a man and his countryman, are struggling together, and the wife of one comes near to deliver her husband from the hand of the one who is striking him, and puts out her hand and seizes his genitals, then you shall cut off her hand; you shall not show pity.”
1. Deuteronomy 25:11-12 NASB
(remember that, ladies, when breaking up a fight)
Yeah, great book there, dude.
Ramen!
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
“Go suck a lemon.” (Aesi 19:2)
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
More seriously, though. We do not believe in your evil mass-murdering, slavery-promoting, sexist, racist “god” or your little holy book, so quoting from it means absolutely fuck all, mkay? ;P
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
So how come so many religious people have wood and stone statues of various gods from the Christian pantheon? (Jesus, Mary, Joseph, all the crew from the nativity scene, saints, angels, cherubs, etc.) It would seem that Christians are the ones the Bible warns you about.
And this little gem is the only thing religious people should focus on: “For all the gods of the peoples are idols.”
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Jerry,
Thank you for those completely off-topic quotes – do you harangue mall Santas with these same biblical tidbits? RAmen.
-Sarah
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Is there supposed to be a point here?
“Zeus now adressed the immortals: ‘what a lamentable thing it is that men should blame the Gods…for their troubles’” (The Odyssey, Book 1, lines 32-34 – Homer)
“In the beginning there was Chance, and Chance was with God and Chance was God” (The Dice Man – Luke Rhinehart)
This is what the average person calls fiction. Just because it has been written doesn’t mean its true. And just because many people say its true doesn’t mean that it is. And just because it was written a long time ago, that doesn’t mean anything either. In fact, The Odyssey is an even older book, and that is completely false. Get a grip, please.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Never said anything about wood and stone. We serve pasta!”
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Your point being???
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Oh. The Bible. Yea, boy, I’m convinced.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
aaawwwk! polly wanna cracker! 8/
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
…and your point is ?
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Jerry,
This shows a great lack of imagination and ability to think for yourself. Do you honestly think we’ve never heard these passages before and that all it would take would be for you to quote them to convince us? You forget that we reject that the bible is a legitimate source of information.
But just for a moment for the sake of argument assume that it is legitimate. What about this passage:
8 The LORD said unto Moses, “Make thee a fiery serpent, and set it upon a pole: and it shall come to pass, that every one that is bitten, when he looketh upon it shall live.” 9 And Moses made a serpent of brass and put it upon a pole, and it came to pass, that if a serpent had bitten any man, when he beheld the serpent of brass, he lived. (Numbers 21:8-9)
Not only is this an idol that Yahweh commanded Moses to make, but it is a symbol that was worshiped as a god during the time. It’s name is Nehushtan, and copper idols to him have been found. There is also the Greek demigod of the name Asclepius whose symbol is a snake on a pole.
The passage from Exodus is “no other gods BEFORE me” which implies that they simply cannot worship another god as much as Yahweh. It has also been suggested that Yahweh does not say that you cannot make idols of HIM since he has no form so it would be impossible to make something that could represent him accurately.
In 2 Kings (from the NIV):
4 He removed the high places, smashed the sacred stones and cut down the Asherah poles. He broke into pieces the bronze snake Moses had made, for up to that time the Israelites had been burning incense to it. (It was called Nehushtan.)
So all this time since Moses made this snake the Israelites were burning incense without a single complaint from God. Then Hezekiah showed up, and destroyed it on his own (Asherah was another god that was around during the time the Israelites started taking their land)
Well, that’s all old testament stuff and doesn’t apply right? Wrong. How about John 3:14-15:
14Just as Moses lifted up the snake in the desert, so the Son of Man must be lifted up, 15that everyone who believes in him may have eternal life.
Jesus was comparing himself to Nehushtan who just like in the past when the Israelites were saved by the snake, so to would they be saved when they raised Jesus up on the pole.
Nehushtan was a Midianite god, and Moses was married to a Midianite woman shortly before he created the snake.
I could go on, but instead I recommend you watch this video: http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-409150903083942192 for a more in depth examination of Nehushtan.
Peace and Long Life,
Zane
P.S. Even though your original letter didn’t deserve this much examination, if you ever try to do it again, this is the type of thing you must do; provide commentary with the passages to indicate the point you are trying to make.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
I have never understood that. No other gods before me…except Jesus? gods of silver and gold, like all the statues of jesus, mary and saints in churches. The Spaghetti Monster is is not made of any of these, so your second and third statements don’t apply. He is not a mere idol, so your first is out. And, I will not have any other gods before me, especially at dinner. And,he is delicious!!!! So, what is your point?
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Ooh ooh ooh, I know this book! It’s the same one that says “Stone disobedient children” (Deuteronomy 21:18-21).
Some sick bastard wrote it.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
…
LIAR
I suggest next time you read OUR gospel.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
So. I have read many fairy tales. Why are you quoting these ones?
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Give me a break!
RAmen
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
More “Evidence”?
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
What are you saying, Jerry?
Maybe you came to the wrong site? We can’t interpret biblical verses for you? We have great pasta recipes though!
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Dear Jerry:
That’s nice, you can copy and paste. Now run along and play gods and monsters outside like a good little boy, Mommy and Daddy have important things to discuss.
RAmen
ET
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Sorry, the bible convention is that way.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
I have no problem with Exodus 20:23 as quoted by Jerry. Our god, after all, is neither silver nor gold, but pasta, which is not excluded.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Ezekiel’s got a point. Good thing we worship wheat and meat!
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Here’s some Bible for you:
Isaiah 21:9, I Chronicles 20:3, Numbers 25:3-4, Judges 8:7, Judges 8:10, Numbers 16:32-35, Exodus 12:29-30, I Chronicles 21:14, II Chronicles 14:9, II Chronicles 14:12, Exodus 11:4-5, Psalms 68:21-23, I Samuel 6:19, Deuteronomy 13: 5, Deuteronomy 13: 6, Deuteronomy 13:8-9, Deuteronomy 13:15, I Samuel 15:2-3, II Samuel 12:31, Numbers 31:16-18, Judges 4:21, Isaiah 13:15-16, Genesis 9:5-6, Deuteronomy 2:34, Deuteronomy 3:6-7, Deuteronomy 3:3, Deuteronomy 7:2, Deuteronomy 20:16-17, Joshua 6:21, Joshua 8:26, Joshua 10-28-40, Numbers 31:17-18, I Samuel 15:3, Isaiah 13:16, Hosea 13:16, Ezekiel 9:5-6, Revelation 7:3-4, Revelation 9:3-4, Revelation 14:1, Revelation 14:3-4, Joshua 6:21, Joshua 6:19, Joshua 8:25, Deuteronomy 12:2-3.
Have fun.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
So?
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
ummmm—Jerry, what’s your point?
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Those are very nice passages written thousands of years ago by superstitious and ignorant people who had no understanding of the origin of the universe. My daughter used to say some outlandish things when she was a child, I didn’t base a faith on them.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
I don’t see what this has to do with us. The FSM is the one that made the heavens. He isn’t made of gold or silver but is made of delicious noodles. We don’t serve wood or stone, we serve pasta, it’s much tastier and better for you. And that last line is just ridiculous, every deity says that one except ours, who doesn’t really care who you believe in as long as you’re not a jerk to one another. The FSM is therefore more caring than all the other pretender deities. That makes him the greatest and most deserving of our love.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
wow, other then “-Jerry” not one of those quotes were your own words, you really can’t think for yourself can you?
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Jerry,
Which mistranslation of the Hebrew writings, that you probably can’t read, are you trying to quote from? Your last quote says something different at each of your citations. Please also be careful of your punctuation; I don’t think that any of the (mis)translations is as self referential as you have indicated.
RAmen
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Thanks for sharing Bible verses with us, Jerry! But what if we don’t consider the Bible our moral authority or even a guide to living right? That would mean your time writing us was wasted, wouldn’t it?
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Congradulations you quote a scripture that thoes who believe in FSM probally don’t consider that moving.
Instead I shall quote myself. Speak to each in there own language and in there own time to show thy point. Speak of wood to a carpenter, and pasta to a monster. If thy quote’ith the koran to a christian or the Bible to FSM than thy be short of mind or large in ego to think that people will understand.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
I guess we’re okay then! The One True Deity(TM) is not made of silver, nor gold, nor wood, nor stone. He’s made of spaghetti and meatballs and marinara sauce! (Or is it alfredo? Hmm… perhaps we have a theological question here to address…)
Even the Christians think the FSM is acceptable!! There’s nothing in the Bible against spaghetti gods!
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Don’t you have some Muslims you could harass?
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Oh, well that settles it then.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
What is he quoting? The Koran? The book of the Mormons? I don’t get it.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Jerry,
You seem to have created an idol of words. You quote them out of context with no understanding of their source or their author or their history. In that sense, they mean nothing; you are using them as an amulet. It’s like saying “Abra-Cadbra” and hoping that the magic words will produce the spell you are seeking.
RAmen
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
so your god said. so it’s part of your godhead. so keep it there. so leave us be, like we grant thee with glee
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
You do realise that all these quotes are from a very silly book that we and most sensible people don’t give a toss about?
Here’s one for you, Jerry.
“Stick your bible, god, cheeseus and church up your arse” (Zinc Alloy)
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
I understand why someone who believes that God dictated the bible would think that these quotes are threatening and argumentative, but it is ridiculous for an educated person to think that this proves anything at all. Jerry, I salute your ignorance.
-RAmen
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
What a snore! Jerry, why didn’t you send a picture of yourself holding a sceptre, modeling a robe and sporting a long, flowing white beard. Do you look like Chuck Heston. Hope so, or fundie central casting really isn’t doing its yob! THOU SHALT HAVE NOT GODS BEFORE ME! Say it loud, with a resonant baritone, Jerry! Just like they do it in the Wizard of Oz!
You fundies are really, really pathetic!
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
quoting scripture, how original. thanks.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
“There’s a sucker born every minute” – Barnum
“It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt.” – Mark Twain
“Philosophy is questions that may never be answered. Religion is answers that may never be questioned.” – Anon
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Why bother sending this in? For someone to place any value in these, one would have to believe in your religion already, meaning that these only work if you’re preaching to the choir. To everyone else, they make you seem small-minded, and a bit sad.
It’s a bit like if Cheech and Chong sent us something like this:
“And the lord did say, lemme in, man, it’s Dave. Stoners 4:20″
or a Pastafarian sent you guys the Eight I’d Really Rather You Didn’ts in an attempt to convert you.
Just sad, man. If you had actually done your homework on the FSM you’d realize that the whole thing is intended as a joke.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Congrats….you can read….
RAmen
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Why do people think sending us Bible verses will help anything?
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
My scripture is better than yours. I’ll keep mine, and you keep yours. You only have ‘Burn in hell’, whereas I have ‘It’s your book, they’re your rules, YOU burn in hell’, among other pertinent saying. And my book says I’m right, YAYZ!
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
When I first read of your FSM immediately I supposed that you were mocking the Darwin theory since it doesn’t propose an answer to the beginning of the first cell. Surely your Spaghetti Monster did it. That’s just the stupidity. And it IS YOUR spaghetti monster!
If I was a teacher in public school forced to follow teaching time laws, I would connect your FSM with evolutionary theory.
Supporters of ID can rationalize the way evolutionists think, but evolutionists are not rational enough to consider ID. And really, who cares! We have the freedom to keep our kids out of public schools, and we should do it!
BTW, Christians, you are planting weird seeds here TELLING these people you’re going to pray for them. Why keep infuriating them with your talk of prayer and about how God loves them. It doesn’t work like that.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Dear Moderator,
I just meant my comment as a comment for this website, not particularly for this post (No Responses to “For all the gods of the peoples are idols”) Can you please help if find its proper place here?
~Meg
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
I love the Old Testament. Like this one…
Corinthians 11:14 “Does not the very nature of things teach you that if a man has long hair, it is a disgrace to him”
Has anyone seen a picture of Jesus with short hair?
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
If god is so perfect then why is he jealous? It seems that god is afraid that people will worship other gods. As everyone knows, “Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering.”
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
I can’t tell if that first comment is FOR FSM or AGAINST it. Anyway though…
1. So, that quote there basically says that the xtian god is just an idol as well
2. Who said anything about the FSM being with the xtian god? Unless ofc you mean together in non-existence, then you’re right! Plus, FSM isn’t gold or silver, it’s noodles. WAAAY better
3. Once again, NOODLES, not sticks and stones
4. But it’s NOT before the xtian god, the xtian god was fantasized about 2000 years BEFORE FSM was
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
@ Meg-
Actually Evolution does offer insights into the development of the first self-replicating structures, the building blocks of our DNA, and, therefore, our cells. Check out Scientific American now and then.
“Evolutionists are not rational enough to consider ID?” No, we just don’t have a need to work in an imaginary friend somewhere to give us that nice fuzzy feeling inside.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
whatever
R’amen
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
“evolutionists are not rational enough to consider ID”
Meg, you silly thng, you’ve confused the word rational with ignorant. It should read “evolutionists are not ignorant enough to consider ID”.
I agree with you about keeping your kids out of public school, see if you can convince every Christian you know to do the same! What an educational improvement that would be.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
OMG. These before meaningless quotations from a horribly mistaken book have..
shown me the light!
Oh, thank you, thank you Jerry!
I will certainly never forget these! …Like I have for everyone else who has tried quoting these freakin things OVERANDOVERANDOVER.
Because…. now, from my wickedness, I am…
HOLEHHHHHHHH!
Get a grip. That just annoys us more.
Peace,
The Wench you’ll never have
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Jerry
“If the Bible is mistaken in telling us where we came from, how can we trust it to tell us where we’re going?” Justin Brown
Meg,
No-one has an answer for the begining of the first cell. ID supporters/scientists can offer explainations but no-one can recreate it. One day maybe science will.
I resent being told I’m rational. I’ve considered ID and decided it isn’t science. ID puts forward a theory that cannot be disproved or proved, it’s purely theology; as a rational person I don’t think it’s worthy of consideration.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
“What you have in your mind shall never be, when you say, ‘We will be like the Gentiles, like the families in other countries, serving wood and stone.’” (Ezekiel 20:32).
I serve spaghetti, praise be the His Noodly Goodness!
“Thou shalt have no other gods before me. Exodus 20:3 (Deuteronomy 5:7, Judges 6:10, Hosea 13:4″
The FSM says we may have antipasto before him, and afterwards, the dessert trolley.
Oh, and Meg@ comment 1: Please keep your children out of public schools, as they tend to skew the low end of grade distribution.
For mine is the parmesan, and thy bologna over me hath no dominion,
Pasta Fairy-Anne
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Jerry,
Why quote from the bible? It’s a collection of myths that one cannot live by. For example, what moral framework is in place to rightly ignore such rubbish as below?
Leviticus 20:13 If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
“You shall not make anything to be with Me – gods of silver or gods of gold you shall not make for yourselves.” (Exodus 20:23).
You will notice it says nothing of Gods made of pasta and tangy marinara sauce with meatballs, so the bible doesn’t mind the FSM :D
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Meg, I teach in a public school and my two children attend one. I’m not sure what the point you’re trying to make here is. For example, people who rationalize, like the supporters of ID you mention, are not rational. People who are rational don’t rationalize. Rational:sensible, sane. Rationalize: to find a plausible reason for one behavior or attitude (Webster’s Dictionary) There is no “plausible reason” for god. As for the public school system, I thank the FSM–and folks like Bobby who fight to keep public schools free of religious dogma–that I can send my kids to a decent school confident that no one is indoctrinating them.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Show me a person (Meg) who supports ID over evolution and I’ll show you a person who doesn’t understand evolution.
Don’t homeschool your children just because you don’t want them to hear about evolution. The whole purpose of public education is to introduce people to other ideas, cultures, people, etc.
And what’s all this about being “not rational enough to consider ID”?! ID, by it’s very nature, is irrational. ID says, “I don’t get it, therefore God (I mean, a *designer*) must have done it.”
And, finally, would you prefer a whimsical Creationist interpretation of “the beginning of the first cell”, or would you like the truth? Do you just want just ANY answer, or do you want THE answer?
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Let’s see…hmmm..
Believing Student: “The Christian god is the only true god, and why? Because the Christian bible says so.”
Philosophy Professor, Logic 101: “You fail. That is a tautology. Go back and start over.”
Believing Student: “Who needs rational and critical thought when I have the glorious capacity for unquestioning faith???”
Jesuit: “You fail. God gave you a brain, use it.”
Believing Student: “But Genesis says I should not eat from the tree of knowledge.”
Pastafarian: “Shouldn’t that tip you off that something stinks? Maybe religious leaders have never wanted the masses to think for themselves.”
Believing Student: “But I’m afraid. Mindless conformity comforts my fear and provides feelings of superiority.”
Pastafarian: “The Flying Spaghetti Monster promises you strippers and beer volcanoes for using your noodle. And, you actually sleep better at night not worrying about enforcing your superiority down others throats…only suppers of delicious sauce, cheese, meatballs, and His appendages.”
Believing Student: “I’m afraid.”
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
That comment makes absolutely no sense. I can only hope that its author is an actual christian and not a Pastafarian being sarcastic because i don’t want to believe that a fellow Pastafarian could EVER be that incoherant.
“That’s just the stupidity.” Indeed, it is.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
1) A very large explosion made the heavens. And pretty much everything else. I don’t think it’s fair for your god to claim rights to a natural incident.
2) Your god seems to want to be king of the hill. Personally I find him selfish, jealous and quite rude. No wonder he doesn’t have a wife.
3) What the hell does that mean? Does that even have anything to do with this site? I would really appreciate it if someone could explain that third quote to me. Crazy ass Christians…
4) That’s just stupid. There were a lot of gods before your fledgling diety and there’s going to be a lot of gods after him. After all, no religion lasts the test of time, just science. I’m happy to find myself in the waning days Christianinty. I would love nothing more than to see the entire religion brought down within my lifetime. How wonderful would it be to see all people free from the tyranny of the Church? Someday…
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
@ Meg,
Not sure what you mean by time laws. Please elaborate. Evolution isn’t about rationalizing anything, it is about comparing, testing, and experimenting with tangible evidence and trying to understand the results. ID on the other hand is just that, trying to rationalize something that one does not understand with irrational ideas. If you wish to take your children out of public schools then that is your choice, but understand that there are very few regulations in home schooling, and employers know that.
Also please tell me how the first cell was created without saying god did it. And if your only answer is that, then who created god?
RAmen
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Meg, you’re totally right here! So many people misunderstand the true nature of FSMism, but you seem to grasp it just perfectly.
You correctly note that evolutionists won’t consider ID, and we Pastafarians have found that those pesky science-reliant evolutionists won’t consider our theories of the universe, either. Not to get into a theological debate with you, but our doctrine has a surprising amount of common-sense and written evidence to back it, and most of us are utterly confused as to why people who claim to seek understanding of universal principles are so quick to dismiss a claim simply because it’s “divinely inspired”. ID might have some great points, but our theory is more succinct and simpler.
The law of parsimony says we’re right, but those evolutionists stick to their egregious claims of how the universe, life, and everything came to be. We Pastafarians find it absurd that our opposition require scientific evidence, peer-review, testing of hypotheses, dedicated observations, and other supposedly “scientific” indicators before accepting a theory.
Assuming that you agree with us that all possibly relevant points of view should be taught in schools, then its safe to say that we’re on the same side in the ID/FSMism/evolution debate. If only those evolutionists would accept that evidence is over-rated in the face of faith, then the proper authorities could realize that our points of view are more plausible than any which are backed by supposed evidence.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
To the OP: Well…is’nt that special!
@ Meg: When anyone capable of critical thinking skills does ponder ID, it is invariably tossed out the window as x-tian fundamentalism dressed up in a cheap suit.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Ohh…. the horror of it all….
RAmen
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Perhaps I’m just tired, but Meg confuses me.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
You may have an ancient book full of barbarism, genocide, contradictions, sexism, incest, and other graphic violence. But we have pasta!
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
ummmm–Meg, what’s your point?
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Uh, Meg? You might want to at least make an attempt to understand Pastafarianism before you climb on your pedestal to rain derision on us. Watch carefully now — Intelligent Design is NOT science. It does NOT belong in a science classroom. If you want to teach it in philosophy or religion class, have at it, we won’t care. Set aside your own prejudices before you spout off, otherwise you only showcase your own narrowmindedness and ignorance.
A couple of questions:
What is your theory as to the origin of the first cell?
What are “teaching time laws”?
Where the hell do you get the idea that evolutionists are not rational enough to consider ID? Virtually every creationist I have talked with has dismissed evolutionary theory out of hand, because it disagrees with their view of so-called “biblical truth”, not because they have examined it’s basis and tested its predictions. Evolutionists, and scientists in general, reject ID because it does not meet the basic definition of science, it cannot be tested. How is ID rational in the first place? Rationality implies step-by-step reasoning from established premises, not presumption of undemonstrable magic. You ask who cares? You want your kids (and presumably everyone else’s) to continue the trend that has the US at or near the bottom of science education achievement in worldwide comparisons? This is a desirable outcome?
“Why keep infuriating them with your talk of prayer and about how God loves them. It doesn’t work like that.” That’s the only part you got right. It doesn’t work like that. There’s no magic sky fairy up there jumping to answer anyone’s prayers. Get off your butt and do something for yourself, no mythical god is going to do anything for anyone.
RAmen
ET
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Are these quotations supposed to enlighten us in some way?
Quote 1 – A book says “the lord made the heavens” …. well I know a few books that suggest otherwise, and some of these even have evidence!
Quote 2 – The same book says “gods of silver… you shall not make for yourselves” – why not – it seems ok for xtianity to manufacture out of gold or silver the instrument of torture/execution that their prophet died on, and then hang it round their own necks. How bizarrely gruesome that is. Yet for some reason you cannot make a model of an imaginary being. Seems like someone has their priorities well out of whack.
Quote 3 – “serving wood and stone” – for dinner? I think pasta and meatballs would be tastier. Or is it not that kind of serving?
Quote 4 – That book again – if you cannot have gods before him (or though in historical terms there were many just as plausible gods worshipped in the thousands of years before the xtian god appeared) can we not be allowed to have a few gods after him. Perhaps sneaking in one made of wheat based carbohydrates and dead cow?
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Meg,
What are you on about? I take it from the tone of your message you are implying that a creator solves the problem of life, the universe and everything. Why should that be? God(s) simply stand (and always have done) for ignorance until the true reasons are found: The river god flooding the land every year; the sun god rising every morning and setting every night; the FSM holding us down with his noodley appendages. Eventually some bright spark will see how ridiculous such gods are and come up with the rational explanation. Just assigning an all powerful, invisible super-being to the seemingly supernatural is just downright stupid.
The trouble with ID supporters is that they rationalize everything to fit their brainwashing. And evolutionists are too rational to give up and assign the unknown to a sky fairy.
Please don’t stop the christians praying for us – at least we won’t kill them for trying and they are good for a giggle.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Meg: thank god you’re not a teacher.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Uh, what?
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
What is this even trying to say. I don’t mean to be rude but COME ON. This is ridiculus. I mean people talk about the CFSM rubbing the religion in their faces but Christians are always rubbing it in ours’! Like this dude came round to our door trying to make us join the Church of England and the next minute there was a dude saying the world was gonna end (Jehova’s witness). Lol. They can’t talk you know?
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Meg
“Supporters of ID can rationalize the way evolutionists think, but evolutionists are not rational enough to consider ID.”
That’s because ID is not based on REASON. ID has to be “rationalized”, i.e. you have to create some bullshit story to pretend that your bullshit theory is based on reason.
Please don’t pray for us and we won’t pray for you! The FSM thinks you’re a troll, anyway.
Ramen.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
First of all, on behalf of children everywhere, let me thank you for not being a public school teacher.
Secondly, if you stop and think about what you said, you may realize that you nearly have it. Just a little more reasoning and you might just get it. Here’s a clue: “Surely your Spaghetti Monster did it.” Yes, this does sound absurd. Hmmmm…..
And lastly, the reason that people tend to believe evolution is the amount of evidence, or observable data. If any ID-ist could show even the slightest shred of evidence that the ID “theory” was valid, any rational, or scientifically minded person would consider ID and investigate. As it stands, ID has never been able to show even the slightest fragment of data.
So RAmen to you, and here’s hoping you will not brainwash your children, but let them grow up to be clear minded, free thinking individuals, who are emotionally stable enough to draw their own conclusions regarding religion.
Pesto be upon you.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
lmao wow people are really hating on you dude. long live fsm.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
I seriously hate when people quote from the bible. Just because the bible is the best selling fiction book for the last thousand and some years, doesn’t mean it should be quoted as if those events ACTUALLY happened.
Your an idiot. Go away.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Nope, I just had a nap. Not tired any more. Meg still confusing.
*sigh* Try to break this one down, too.
One- Evolution doesn’t explain the first cell, it explains what happened to it’s descendants. Kinda the same way market pressures explain a lot of how cars have developed, but now how they were invented in the first place. Different processes.
Two- ‘Teaching Time laws’ refers to how ID people want laws in place forcing equal time to be spent teaching Evolution and ID. She’s saying the FSM is part of Darwin’s theory of evolution, and should be taught as such, people.
By the way, Meg, that’s retarded. Just…. seriously, seriously, retarded.
Three- ‘Rationalize’ means to make something irrational appear rational or reasonable- a fairly good description of how ID works. Judging by context, I’d say you screwed up trying to find a fancy word meaning ‘understand’. Those of us who actually DO understand usually get by with the word ‘understand’. Try it, you might like it.
Oh, and those of us who actually went to school (and paid attention) can understand ID just fine. It’s not really that complicated, after all. We just don’t agree with it. Maybe if you weren’t trying to score points so hard, you’d have noticed that.
Four- I’m curious, Meg. If someone wants to pray for me, just how DO you think it works? I’d always understood it’s a fairly straightforward process. I even appreciate the gesture, when they do. It’s a lot friendlier than your smug hostility, after all.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Hey Jerry, are you gonna take this or fight? Cause we’re tired of laughing behind you. Either prove that you’re right, or at least let us laugh to your face.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Here is a few more quotes you might want to look at. (this is for the author of the original mail)
http://www.infidels.org/library/modern/donald_morgan/inconsistencies.html
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Meg: as an “evolutionist”, I dismiss ID since any scientific (and we’re talking what’s being taught as science, remember?) theory that says “and here’s where some magic happened performed by someone of whom there’s absolutely no proof!” just doesn’t make the grade.
Now, why can’t someone who’s religious (I’ll bet Darwin was!) see how evolution is going on all around you? Why are artic animals typically the largest of their species? To conserve heat – how convenient. Why the smallest members of a species typically found on islands? To conserve resources! Natural selection is … natural. White moths were the most prevalent in England before the Industrial Revolution. But when the coal fires deposited soot on the white houses, grey moths had a camoflauge advantage, and became more plentiful.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Our almighty FSM is not made of wood and stone, but I see a problem. Perhaps he is not kosher, and is therefore non appropriate for the old testament. I should think about it.
Meg, please keep your kids out from public schools, you will do our kids a favor.
I live in Europe and folks, believe it or not, the ID crap here comes from the muslims. Who for obvious reasons don’t like this science bullshit.
And by the way, my kid is 2 years old and I’m looking for a school. And virtually every parent I ask who is happy with the elementary school of their kid say that he /she goes to a catholic school. And I draw the line at catholic schools. my kid is not getting brainwashed. religion and education are a contradiction in terms.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Hey Meg, it is really too bad that Galileo was too rigid to consider that the Earth is likely flat and the center of the universe.
Keep homeschooling your children and hopefully they will one day be accepted to the ridiculous Liberty “university”.
You are always welcome to grace us with your presence. After all, no time is a bad time to have a laugh at fundies’ expense.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
@Darwinfish,
You are mistaken when you said, “If you had actually done your homework on the FSM you’d realize that the whole thing is intended as a joke.”
Our prophet, Bobby Henderson, says otherwise: “Some claim that the church is purely a thought experiment, satire, illustrating that Intelligent Design is not science, but rather a pseudoscience manufactured by Christians to push Creationism into public schools. These people are mistaken. The Church of FSM is real, totally legit, and backed by hard science. Anything that comes across as humor or satire is purely coincidental.” (Click the “About” button for verification.) His letter to the Kansas School Board makes it clear that Pastafarians do believe in our Noodly Master, the Flying Spaghetti Monster.
RAmen
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
@Josh #101
Yarr absolutely right, mate! We insist that our theory of the creation be taught right alongside “intelligent design” whenever ID is taught in a science class. It’s only fair.
RAmen
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Everyone seems to be quoting scriptures, so I’m going to do that too, I’ll even do it in a language few if any of you understand:
Ár var alda,
það er ekki var,
var-a sandur né sær
né svalar unnir;
jörð fannst æva
né upphiminn,
gap var ginnunga
en gras hvergi,
–Völuspá 3
Ungur var eg forðum,
fór eg einn saman:
þá varð eg villur vega.
Auðigur þóttumst
er eg annan fann:
Maður er manns gaman.
–Hávamál 47
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
@ meg
i’m not sure what you hoped to accomplish with your response to the responses to jerry’s regurgitation of some randomly chosen biblical verses that have little, if any, relevance today, but it looks like you failed quite miserably.
your response did, however, sadly showcase your ignorance not only of pastafarianism, but of evolution and the theory you seem to tacitly support: ID. may i suggest that you gain some understanding before taking a position? kneejerk reactions are so george w bush.
read the gospel of the flying spaghetti monster (bobby henderson)
read the origin of species (charles darwin)
read darwin’s black box (michael behe)
once you have fully absorbed the information presented in each book, please come back and join us in an intelligent, knowledge-based discussion. maybe then your comments will go in the general section, rather than this one.
and jerry, if you’re still out there, try to choose interesting verses next time. you know, ones that actually have some relationship to the thought your trying to put forth. we pastafarians are pretty smart – we’ll pick up what you mean. but for next time, it would be helpful if you were a little less cryptic. and jerry, try to keep the threats to a minimum, ok? thanks.
yours in pasta,
V
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Here is a quote: “Your Rigatoni is so big, is it real?” My wife 1:06:09
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
@ Jerry and Meg. I’m not quite sure what either of you are saying. My daughter went to a public school and she turned out just fine. As long as we can keep the church where it belongs; only in the church; then we will all be okay. It’s when religion is allowed to run around rampant that we have problems.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
HMMMMMMMMMMM more bible writings makes me feel warm and fuzzy
NOT
Seriously more scripture readings I won’t bother destroyig your letter because it has already been done but that is one of the weakest hate mail yet.
PS I do appreaciate the lack of Cussing us out and telling us we are going to burn in HELL.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Evolution makes me warm and Fuzzy.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
…What was this supposed to accomplish??
Spouting bible verses at us doesn’t help your case. Kid, we’ve heard them all before.
Crazy Christitans.
Thinking bible verses mean anything to non-Christians.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
What could possibly be more clearly written by man and for a more obvious purpose?
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
whoever believes in this retarded spagetti monster i have to tell you something you are fucking retarded and need to start thinking logically because if there ois a god he is going to hate you for all eternity for making a mockery of him. if you think i am just being a duche bag you are wrong for i am trying to protect the sacredness of god even though i my self do not believe in him and maybe you should find a real religion and stop taking all of the respect that people have for god and destroying you stupid ignorant assholes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
You people think you’re so funny with all this crap you made up. I hope you all rot in hell. People 2000 years ago did not form christianity just to get a good laugh. They were witnesses to the divine. You stupid atheists can’t take the idea that there is a real God that is going to screw you so badly it’s not even funny. I’m guessing this is all just a massive conspiracy, right? Well, go join Hitler and Stalin in Hell. Don’t worry, i’m sure we all evolved from apes that evolved from crocidiles which evolved from rats which evolved from ants. That’s the evolution chain, isn’t it? HAHA.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
This applies to Meg too
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
people have to believe the bible is true in order to belive what it says is right.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Please enjoy this highly relevant, musical interlude:
http://au.youtube.com/watch?v=4DXl68NF_uI&feature=related
from a very wise Australian (Yes, we have them.).
RAmen.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
My favorites are the ones that qoute the Bible. They still don’t grasp that we see the Bible as impotent and (other than as an amazing piece of fiction) not worth the paper it’s printed on. My other favorites are the ones who curse and condemn us and then say they’ll pray for us. Man, they sure get angry, don’t they? Awesome.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
@Josh lolz That is classic, classic.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Another peculiar remnant of the thousand-year-long intellectual decline they call the Dark Ages. Pastafarianism is now the fashionable path of enlightenment, no fear, no hell and no apocalypse.
The original post was probably a troll, the spelling’s too good and the punctuation is almost 100% accurate although a copy & paste is also possible.
All Hail His Eternally Noodly Lordship The Flying Spaghetti Monster.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
h-ness you truly are a nut! The world IS going to end and your going to hell.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Jehovah’s witnesses fall over when you hit them and don’t get up for ages.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Well I don’t know about you guys, but I’m convinced. Death to the infidels!
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
if i qouted the koran saying jerry is an idoit would you care?
NO BECAUSE YOU DONT BELIVE IT SO THE ARGUMENT IS STUPID
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Wonderful stuff.
Actually the translations from the original Hebrew to English need a little work.
“You shall not make anything to be with Me – gods of silver or gods of gold you shall not make for yourselves.” (Exodus 20:23).
is actually Exodus 20:19 (there is no 23…)
Translated directly from the Hebrew – (as a teacher might tell a student):
“With ME – you will not make your own gods of silver and gold”
More importantly (like everything in life) it is important to read in context. The rest of the chapter goes on to say that the children of Israel should only make alters of earth…and only then will they be blessed. They should not use iron swords to cut stone – because the swords will become a desecration. No idol worship, no incest as a way of worship.
The Jewish vision for a utopian world is actually a world without swords, a world that is vegetarian and peaceful. Pasta is good. Steaks are bad.
Have a wonderful weekend and a Shabat Shalom
Danny Lieberman
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
It’s actually quite obvious that our FSM god created your god and told him to tell you all that stuff to test your faith in his noodley goodness. He also knew that you would fail his test, but all of his most devout followers would come to his defense. All of this is written in your own bible! It’s true using ELS the method outlined for making predictions using a secret code in the Holy Bible with a skip value of 4,606 characters I found this sentence.
“FSM Real, 1 5 9 defend me”
conclusive proof that the FSM created your god, then instructed him to tell the apostles what to write in the bible with the intent of hiding a secret message that would predict the very moment of your post to prove his existence. Saying anything else is un-pastafarian and since terrorists are also un-patafarian then you must be a terrorist. I hope you enjoy your stale beer and VD laden strippers.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
There is a bit of a stink here in England at the moment over an athiest advertising campaign on the side of buses. A slogan on the buses reads ‘There’s probably no God. Now stop worrying and enjoy your life’.
Some Christians have complained to the advertising watchdog saying this is false advertising as it cannot be proved there is no God.
The irony here is this advertising campaign is in reply to a similar bus advertising campaign last year claiming there is a God. This rather lovely Christian campaign had a website address attatched to it which when you visited it told you all non-Christians and athiests would burn in Hell for eternity. Nice.
No proof was offered, of course.
Once again the nutters are happy to spout their vile hatred and threats of damnation but when a peaceful athiest campaign just wanting people to stop worrying is started the Christians start complaining and moaning.
Is it me or do Christians seem a quite unhappy bunch considering they believe they are going to spend eternity in Paradise?
I think these Christians need to, to quote Eddie Murphy quoting Richard Pryor,’have a Coke and a smile and shut the fuck up’.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Thou shalt not build temples in my honor…… WHOOPS!
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Meg: A god (or a bunch of them) does NOT solve any problems with the “compicated stuff like life can’t be a coincidence”. It just provides a quick and simple solution for morons who are willing to accept the first offered solution without thinking about it – For god(s) to create life, the universe and everything he/it/them MUST be even more complex than the stuff they create – therefore he/it/them (by your own logic) MUST have been created – and created by something EVEN MORE COMPLEX THAN GOD, which in turn must be even more complex, which in turn must have been created by…. I believe that even you can see a problem (one of a lot) with creationism logic now.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
“I’d really rather you didn’t act like a sanctimonious holier-than-thou ass when describing my noodly goodness. If some people don’t believe in me, that’s okay. Really, I’m not that vain.”
Looks like you guys are waltzing away from His first I’d Really Rather You Didn’t. Come back! Let’s just knock the poor bastards for having absolute faith in something impossible to prove as opposed to saying that the Desert God’s a really terrible guy. He seems nice, love and whatnot, but a bit opaque.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Theologist, you’re a sad tosser.
Do you really want to know where Hell is?
It’s where you are spending your current and only life because you are too stupid to realise you’ve been mugged off by a bunch of scam artists who could never have believed their little con all those years ago would blossom into such a profitable business.
Enjoy your guilt and fear while I enjoy my life.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
@Theologist
I don’t believe you have the right to the name Theologist. See, real theologists study the religious practices of all religions, not just Christianity. Be careful, your lack of education is showing.
As for the people 2000 years ago, you have to remember that the masses were mostly uneducated. Kind of like you. Let’s see if you can make the connection. People back then didn’t have the science to explain a lot of the stranger things that happened. They were also more likely to believe word of mouth, perpetuating these stories without proof.
All that we have asked for is proof of your god. I’m more than happy to believe in your god if you can provide me physical proof of his divine existance. Until then, the only proof we have is of evolution. I mean, all you have to do is look at Bush and see the truth.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Thanks Danny! I actually really appreciate it when people can explain things from the bible and other religious texts. I was never raised in a church and it’s hard when people start spouting off verses at me. Like I know what they’re talking about.
It also makes me realize that many who decide to spout off verses like a weapon tend to not understand the context of the verse. I think they have a hard time distinguishing between reading the bible and understanding the bible.
I would also like to thank you for being an understading human being. I happen to like the Jewish population as they have never tried to convert me, condemn me or interfere in my life. I believe the FSM should set apart a kosher beer volcano just for the Jewish community to come visit.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Theologist#134…Actually the funniest thing here are the sanctimonious trolls like you. I hope you’ll rot with stale beer and diseased strippers forever. People invent religions becuase they like wishful thinking and then convince themselves they’ve seen “miracles”(except for pastafarianism, the one true religion). You stupid prude can’t take the idea that there’s a real FSM that is going to screw you so badly, it’s not even funny. I’m guessing that God thing is all just a massive fraud, right? Don’t worry, I’m sure we are all inbred descendants of a man and a woman made out of his rib in a garden with talking snakes and all evil in the world started because of theirt curiosity. That’s the original sin, isn’t it? HAHA
robert donduvall#133 I am only trying to protect the sacredness of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, even though I myself do not believe in him. Maybe you should find youself a real religion and stop disrespecting the FSM, you (expletive)(expletive)(expletive).
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Zinc Alloy: Perfectly said.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
@ #133 robert donduvall:
Don’t try to pull that shit here. You claim not to believe in god, but want to protect “the sacredness of god”? That makes no sense. How can something that doesn’t exist be sacred? “maybe you should find a real religion and stop taking all of the respect that people have for god and destroying you stupid ignorant assholes” – I’m sorry, but this really does not compute. This religion is every bit as real as any other you can name. Just because we have a slightly different message does not invalidate anything we stand for. Maybe if you took the time to familiarize yourself with our basic tenets you’d have a chance of understanding. Also, it wouldn’t hurt if you learned what logic actually is.
@ #134 Theologist Says:
1) You people think you’re so funny with all this crap you made up.
Wrong, this site and Pastafarianism in general is not intended to be funny, and I resent your implication that it is.
2) I hope you all rot in hell.
How very xian of you. Remember anything about “love your neighbor”?
3)People 2000 years ago did not form christianity just to get a good laugh. They were witnesses to the divine.
Wrong again. They were witnesses to events they didn’t understand, and they made up gods and religions in an attempt to explain them.
4) You stupid atheists can’t take the idea that there is a real God that is going to screw you so badly it’s not even funny.
Fuck you for calling me stupid, and I’ll be happy to consider any rational, logical evidence you’d care to present in support of your claim.
5) I’m guessing this is all just a massive conspiracy, right?
Umm, what? Conspiracy of whom to accomplish what?
6) Well, go join Hitler and Stalin in Hell.
Sorry, not possible, hell is an imaginary place made up by Dante to sell membership in the xian church.
7) Don’t worry, i’m sure we all evolved from apes that evolved from crocidiles which evolved from rats which evolved from ants. That’s the evolution chain, isn’t it?
Not quite. If you care to read a bit about how evolution works, I’m sure we could have an intelligent discussion. Assuming that you have a certain minimum mental processing ability.
How about you go home and stop annoying your neighbors? I’m sure they’ll all appreciate it.
RAmen
ET
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
I believe it was the movie ‘Dogma’ that provided this quote…. ‘Jesus had a lot of great IDEALS, people ruined them by turning them into beliefs.’
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
@ 133,
What a tool! I had no idea that God had chosen you to be his defender! He must be a weak sack of pus if he needs a flesh and blood human to do his talking for him. Just like Jesus! Doesn’t it occur to you that maybe those scribes of the Bible were making shit up and for 3000 years have been having a great laugh at your and your ilks stupidity for falling for it all? Here’s a thought: maybe God got sick of you Christians getting his message wrong and decided to talk through a physics student, and because He is God, thought that he should assume a pleasing form so Bobby’s eyes wouldn’t melt-say, a plate of spaghetti?
@ 134,
Another dumb ass who thinks he knows God’s wishes and hopes we rot in Hell! If I had one singular wish, it would be that you piss-miserable Xians could come up with a classier retort! As I told the previous inbred cocksnot, maybe the joke’s on you! In those mythical times you hold so sacred, the goat-herders and Jewish people were constantly getting their collective asses kicked by everyone, they couldn’t beat a case of athlete’s foot. They needed something to give their downtrodden group hope, and as with any ancient culture, God soothes that burn. It’s OK to have a shitty life, when you die, God will make it up for you. You are sooo dumb! Without one shred of proof, you boast that you know what God wants because you read his book. You folks always think God is telling you the right path, guiding you through your life. NEWSFLASH! It’s you and the voices in your fucking head! Don’t worry, they’ll fade out as you die!
Oh, while I’m at this; Hitler was a Christian, when you go to Heaven, ask him about it!
You have no understanding about evolution, and frankly no comprehension of the origins of your own damned religion! It was only the magic of the Spell-Checker that got you to spell Theologian correctly. Do us a favor and take some world religion and biology classes before you try to flaunt your ignorance!
RAmen!
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
I don’t care what you have to say, you obviously hate what I have to say.
I don’t think spouting lines from one of the worst fantasy novels in existance will change my mind.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Right could someone explain to me why God is so insecure? I mean many of the representations of him sort of go for the angry old man, he really needs to get out of that image. I noticed when I read the bible there is no mention of Dinosaurs .. and Dinosaurs rock.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
O NOES! Buy-bull quotes!! =O
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Throwing around bible verses won’t convince someone who doesn’t believe in it…
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
i just wanna put his out there… wasnt “the”god just one of the most succesfull man made gods? not even the first, just the most popular
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
When the Bible says “have no other Gods before me”, and that God is jealous….he’s jealous of His Noodliness. What more proof do you need?
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
In other words, “all those other Gods you made up are fake, but I’M real”. Sort of like walking into a room of strangers and one comes up to you and says all the others are liars. You should believe him because…?
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Loophole- the FSM is never really referred to as a “God” per se, just a big, huge, invisible, all-knowing, all seeing Flying Spaghetti Monster. So yeah, we’re not in the wrong here.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
What I have never been able to understand is why people will push away thousands, maybe millions of pieces of evidence that point to one conclusion, but then devote themselves to conclusions dictated in a book that other people have told them is true. Beliving the Bible comes from parental brainwashing, nothing else. I myself have read the Bible, and I find nothing more than a piece of literature.
R’Amen
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
all this holier-than-thou bible quoting is great and all, but what if you dont BELIEVE in the god who supposedly set these rules in the first place? thats like trying to apply the rules of communist Russia to Americans. seriously guys, this is kinda crazy.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
@#163 – gustav shortypants
“wasnt “the”god just one of the most succesfull man made gods? not even the first, just the most popular”
Slack competition at the time!
http://www.wulffmorgenthaler.com/default.aspx?id=69bc035c-8062-487a-8431-9c18ad9a7cc9
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
I agree that all the gods are idols. False ones. I just don’t see why yours is different.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
@ 134
“Don’t worry, i’m sure we all evolved from apes that evolved from crocidiles which evolved from rats which evolved from ants. That’s the evolution chain, isn’t it? HAHA.”
No it isn’t maybe you should read up and get some solid fact into your head before you try to be sarcastic and funny again.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
I think its funny that some christians try to prove their religion, with their religion. everyone can prove there own religion with their religious scriptures. FSMist can prove their religion with their Gospel TOO! every religion can prove there religion the way you are. your only proving that your religion has no science to prove any part of your religion, so your trying to prove it with a book written by MAN 2000 years ago. and MAN makes mistakes, so what was written in the bible 2000 years ago is not whats in the bible today. in the st.James bible he added that you needed to pay taxes and so forth. so next time you want to prove your religion use hard facts, not a book that was written 2000 years ago.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
“Mmm. That is some tasty spaghetti.”
Dinner 1:23:09
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Pssst! Not beleiving in God kinda means we don’t fear his wrath
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Hunter (post 172) The bible according to many Christian groups was written by 100 AD. The book was not actually compiled into a single work until 325AD. Check out the Apocrypha, it is a series of biblical stories that didn’t make the cut. The noodle works in mysterious ways.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
The Flying Spaghetti Monster isn’t gold OR silver – He’s 100% noodley goodness!
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Yes, but what the poster misses is this quote :
“Right beside the gates, in a small group that was carefully shielded from the crowds by the police, stood the five famous children, together with grown-ups who had come with them.”
- Chapter 13, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.
Get out of that one, bible boy!
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
If religion were a form of economy, this person made Christianity sound like a monopoly. Which in Amurica, is illegal, you know.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
What?! Even the Christian god is closed-minded?!
Didn’t you understood that the FSM is just another way of looking at god. If god really exists, then, he would be ok with every religion however they call him or see him.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
“Who gives a shit”
-Trevor
(13:37)
If I actually wanted to believe in god wouldn’t I be at a christian website? Goddamn I thought god loved all… Since when was he a dictator? Don’t force your oppinion on others or else His Noodlyness will get you
Top rAmen
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
here’s some cut and paste of my own. The bible is awash with theese aswell.
“And thou shalt eat it as barley cakes, and thou shalt bake it with dung that cometh out of a man, in their sight. And the lord said: Even thus shall the children of Israel eat their defiled bread among the Gentiles, whither I will drive them.”
(Ezekiel 4:12-13)
Does that mean i should eat my own shit? if so, i prefer pasta..
“[if two men are fighting] and the other’s wife, willing to deliver her husband out of the hand of the stronger, shall put forth her hand, and take him by the secrets, thou shalt cut off her hand, neither shalt thou be moved with any pity in her regard.”
(Deuteronomy 25:11-12)
Personally i would think a word of thanks would be more adequate and i’m sure his noodliness agrees.
“do not cripple your blessed brain with the logic of the donkey”
(Cohen 1:1)
There, i quoted myself. It’s not a 2000 years old quote but it’s just as relevant.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Pastafariens and Cristians are not the same thing, keep your quotes to yourself!
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Thou shalt not be a dumba** 11th commandment
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
I can write words too! Doesn’t mean they are right! So you can quote the Bible all you want but it doesn’t mean anything. HA!
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
You quoted an ages old text written by men who disallowed women from entering in prayer, took slaves from other nations under the dictions of god, and think that there was a flash flood that left the whole world under water for a period of a hundred fifty days.
Okay.
Whatever you say.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
“You shall not make anything to be with Me – gods of silver or gods of gold you shall not make for yourselves.” (Exodus 20:23).
Please note that the bible makes no reference to gods of spaghetti.
RAmen.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Exactly the kind of stuff you’d expect from a successful business model. Take Apple (the iMac/iPod company) for an acceptable substitute.
“Thou shalt have no other software before Mac OS. And thou shalt not use any other web browser than Safari, and the use of any music program other than iTunes shall be forbidden. Verily, I have caused it so that any other software shalt confound thy iPod. And verily, he who shops outside of iTunes is a heretic, and his music thou shalt not accept.”
You’re saying that THAT makes your god right? It makes him a control-freak jerk, if that’s what you mean.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Not a single line in there had any semblance of individuality. I do so love the copy-pasters. They are ignorance at it’s finest.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
And Saint Attila raised the hand grenade up on high, saying, “O Lord, bless this thy hand grenade, that with it thou mayst blow thine enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy.” And the Lord did grin, and the people did feast upon the lambs and sloths, and carp and anchovies, and orangutans and breakfast cereals, and fruit-bats and large…(Here the original copy was too faded to make out, and so was left blank in all future renditions of it.) And the Lord spake, saying, “First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it. (Armaments 2:9-21)
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Ok, if you want to make a point about something, be original. You just look like a hoity-toity religious bastard when you start quoting from the bible, and it just makes you look like a fucking Uber-Christian asshole who can’t take a joke. Calm down, and shut up. Trust me when I say this, I’m making these comments to help you become less of a douchebag. Why don’t you cut the crock and just wrap your tiny mind around the fact that this is nothing but a satirical evaluation of all of the right-wing nutjobs who go crazy over relgion in schools. I’ve seen fanboys less uptight than you.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
My favorite? “Let’s do lunch” (Andiamo’s Ristorante, 12:15)
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
And on the seventh day the FSM said “shall we have Carbonara or Arabiatta.”
Pizza Hut 1.1
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
I think this guy’s preaching is one of the big reasons why a lot of people are not christians. If your god is real then it’s people like you that try to convert us we hate, not him. And if there is a heaven there would be a lot of people like you in it in which case I would much rather go to hell.
Ramen.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
“You shall not make anything to be with Me – gods of silver or gods of gold you shall not make for yourselves.”
This says nothing of making gods from pasta.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
you do realize that the quoted passages are about Jews, not Xtians, Don’t you? Also these are outdated as they refer to tribes that no longer exist, and it is too archaic to be taken seriously. Keep up with the times! the Gospel of the FSM was produced in 2005!
RAMEN
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Do you have any pearls of wisdom from a book not riddled with contradictions and violence?
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
The bible says that you should kill your children, your siblings, your friends, or your wife if they lead others away from the Christian god.
Deuteronomy 13:6-9 (New International version)
If your very own brother, or your son or daughter, or the wife you love, or your closest friend secretly entices you, saying, “Let us go and worship other gods”, do not yield to him or listen to him. Show him no pity. Do not spare him or shield him. You must certainly put him to death. Your hand must be the first in putting him to death, and then the hands of all the people. Stone him to death…
If you’re a Christian and you believe the Bible is the perfect word of God, are you going to do what God demands in this passage? Would you really stone your children to death if they encouraged a belief in another religion?
Maybe Pastafarians should whip their children with wet noodles if they try to lead people astray from the FSM. Pastafarians aren’t quite so brutal and violent as those angry Christians.
dr
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Jerry,
This opinion piece from the Christian Science Moniter is by one of your own people.
http://news.yahoo.com/s/csm/20090310/cm_csm/yspencer
When are you folks going to do the work of learning and stop blindly misquoting a book that you can’t even read? You know nothing of the political situation when this was written, to whom it was written, or the authorship of what you are misquoting. Without all that knowledge, you are proving yourself to be an ignorant jerk.
Say,”Abracadabra!” Now you’ve evoked a magic spell, just as you’ve tried to evoke one with other words that you don’t know, and can’t read. There, don’t you feel better now?
RAmen
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Is quoting the bible suppose to mean anything? If words from the bible is your only proof then we all might as well just quote from any book we read as proof of how things exist.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
The average Christian:
*Examines Bible*
I like the texture on the front. The brown makes it feel old or something. Oooh a shiny gold Title and the sides of the pages are even gold! God must be rich! Well let’s open it up.
*Opens Bible*
Pages in books actually turn! Man that’s a lot of words though… I don’t know if I have the time to learn how to read right now. I know! I’ll open to a random page and see what it says!
*Opens Bible to a random page and finds someone to read it to them*
“For all the gods of the peoples are idols, but the LORD made the heavens.” (1 Chronicles 16:26)
I like it! Let’s paste it somewhere because this seems like valid proof to me.
Ridiculous.
RAmen
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
(insert totally random FSM Gospel quote here)
(insert totally random FSM Gospel quote here)
(insert totally random FSM Gospel quote here)
(insert totally random FSM Gospel quote here)
Take that Christian Bible nut!
Like or Dislike:
2 
0
“You shall not make anything to be with Me – gods of silver or gods of gold you shall not make for yourselves.” (Exodus 20:23).
Notice how they don’t mention Gods’ made of pasta.
“Thou shalt have no other gods before me. Exodus 20:3 (Deuteronomy 5:7, Judges 6:10, Hosea 13:4″
“Me” is a very general term. “Me” Could even be the FSM, testing us to see if we respond to his call.
RAmen
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Saying random quotes that you pulled off of Wikipedia ( Slash 20:9)
Does not make you very intelligent ( Prower 3:15)
The third quote doesn’t make any sense ( Blackthorn 5:16)
Shut up. ( Pasta 6:7)
Like or Dislike:
1 
0
And I leave you with:
Please refer to Italian Cooking 101. Lots of quotes (an entire cookbook’s worth! Woot!), with more rewarding end results.
Like or Dislike:
1 
0
Wow…Your God is an egotistical showoff.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
I always find it hilarious when people use scripture in their arguments. Reason being, I can simply say, “I don’t accept your scripture as truth, bring me something that makes sense.” When that is said, either they give up or they vehemently defend their previous argument by stating again and again that the Bible is truth because God inspired men to write it, which they can’t prove except by using the Bible (obviously, the latter happens more often). It’s like saying that a red car goes faster because it’s red; you are using your statement as proof that your statement is true, without any regard to science or logic.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
“‘You shall not make anything to be with Me – gods of silver or gods of gold you shall not make for yourselves.’ (Exodus 20:23).”
ha! our God is made of pasta- not gold or silver!
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Hey, i am glad i came across your site… keep it up!!!!
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Forgive me if I’m wrong, but doesn’t it also say somewhere that God IS a god of the people?
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
BY THE FSM YOUR RIGHT!
all these quoes from the old testament! Why i think i’ll go become a Muslim right now!
Seriously though. Go away
may his noodly light shine upon you
-Hourglass
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Oh it says so in the Bible, it must be true! It’s the word of God after all, rite?
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Psst. Jerry.
When Christians go to church in their Christian church, is there a cross? Do they bow their heads and/or kneel before the cross? Is the cross not an idol?
If Jesus is God incarnate, as is taught in the Christian religion, have they NOT violated the commandment in Exodus 20:23?
If Christians pray to (or before) the figure of Jesus how are they NOT “serving wood and stone”?
Last, but most definitely not least, are Christians’ not in violation of Jesus’ own teaching EVERY single Sunday? Actually, EVERY single time they pray in public at ALL, they are breaking Jesus’ commandments:
“And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by men. I tell you the truth, they have received their reward in full. But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you. And when you pray, do not keep on babbling like pagans, for they think they will be heard because of their many words.” Matthew 6:5-7
(By the way, what follows the above passage is the Lord’s Prayer, which we’ve heard in stadiums throughout the U.S. a blue billion times: “‘Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name, blah blah blah, blah blah blah…” Ironeh. It are teh funneh gud ‘n whotnot.)
Now lemme translate all of Jesus’ preaching for the more Bible-illiterate-passage-spewing-Christians: Jesus really and truly wanted you to embrace the Art of STFU.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
damn god sounds like a asshole.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Your god sounds kinda up himself
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
“Thou shalt eat pasta on the holy day of Friday” The Noodleonomy 1:2:3:4
“Pirates are holy beings” The Gospel 13:37
“thout shall not be a stupid evangelical christian” Me, 12:11
Like or Dislike:
1 
0
@ 215 – Bobby Jindal -,
Let me recommend looking at the comment of Southern Ptarmigan (tenth down in the comments section). Here is a Christian Evangelist who knows church history and who provides the references to the Christian equivalent of the Me, 12:11 reference:
http://www.scientificamerican.com/article.cfm?id=letters-may-2009&sc=DD_20090508
RAmen
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
@ -Jerry,
Your reference to Hosea 13:4 is most curious:
“Yet I am the Lord thy God from the land of Egypt, and thou shalt KNOW no god but me: for there is no saviour beside me.”
In the first sentence, I supplied the capitals for the word “KNOW”. Are you familiar with the biblical Hebrew implications of the verb, ” To KNOW”? If you don’t know the Hebrew, you don’t know what it’s saying to you.
In the second sentence, if God is saying that there’s no savior but himself, then that negates the entire Christian Testament. What a thoroughly Jewish concept you have confirmed by your hand.
RAmen
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Serving “wood”? what the pervert!
Like or Dislike:
0 
0