“For all the gods of the peoples are idols, but the LORD made the heavens.” (1 Chronicles 16:26).
“You shall not make anything to be with Me – gods of silver or gods of gold you shall not make for yourselves.” (Exodus 20:23).
“What you have in your mind shall never be, when you say, ‘We will be like the Gentiles, like the families in other countries, serving wood and stone.’” (Ezekiel 20:32).
“Thou shalt have no other gods before me. Exodus 20:3 (Deuteronomy 5:7, Judges 6:10, Hosea 13:4″
-Jerry
For all the gods of the peoples are idols
Published by Bobby Henderson January 5th, 2009 in Hate Mail (and concerned criticism). 218 Comments
218 Responses to “For all the gods of the peoples are idols”
Theologist, you’re a sad tosser.
Do you really want to know where Hell is?
It’s where you are spending your current and only life because you are too stupid to realise you’ve been mugged off by a bunch of scam artists who could never have believed their little con all those years ago would blossom into such a profitable business.
Enjoy your guilt and fear while I enjoy my life.
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@Theologist
I don’t believe you have the right to the name Theologist. See, real theologists study the religious practices of all religions, not just Christianity. Be careful, your lack of education is showing.
As for the people 2000 years ago, you have to remember that the masses were mostly uneducated. Kind of like you. Let’s see if you can make the connection. People back then didn’t have the science to explain a lot of the stranger things that happened. They were also more likely to believe word of mouth, perpetuating these stories without proof.
All that we have asked for is proof of your god. I’m more than happy to believe in your god if you can provide me physical proof of his divine existance. Until then, the only proof we have is of evolution. I mean, all you have to do is look at Bush and see the truth.
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Thanks Danny! I actually really appreciate it when people can explain things from the bible and other religious texts. I was never raised in a church and it’s hard when people start spouting off verses at me. Like I know what they’re talking about.
It also makes me realize that many who decide to spout off verses like a weapon tend to not understand the context of the verse. I think they have a hard time distinguishing between reading the bible and understanding the bible.
I would also like to thank you for being an understading human being. I happen to like the Jewish population as they have never tried to convert me, condemn me or interfere in my life. I believe the FSM should set apart a kosher beer volcano just for the Jewish community to come visit.
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Theologist#134…Actually the funniest thing here are the sanctimonious trolls like you. I hope you’ll rot with stale beer and diseased strippers forever. People invent religions becuase they like wishful thinking and then convince themselves they’ve seen “miracles”(except for pastafarianism, the one true religion). You stupid prude can’t take the idea that there’s a real FSM that is going to screw you so badly, it’s not even funny. I’m guessing that God thing is all just a massive fraud, right? Don’t worry, I’m sure we are all inbred descendants of a man and a woman made out of his rib in a garden with talking snakes and all evil in the world started because of theirt curiosity. That’s the original sin, isn’t it? HAHA
robert donduvall#133 I am only trying to protect the sacredness of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, even though I myself do not believe in him. Maybe you should find youself a real religion and stop disrespecting the FSM, you (expletive)(expletive)(expletive).
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Zinc Alloy: Perfectly said.
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@ #133 robert donduvall:
Don’t try to pull that shit here. You claim not to believe in god, but want to protect “the sacredness of god”? That makes no sense. How can something that doesn’t exist be sacred? “maybe you should find a real religion and stop taking all of the respect that people have for god and destroying you stupid ignorant assholes” – I’m sorry, but this really does not compute. This religion is every bit as real as any other you can name. Just because we have a slightly different message does not invalidate anything we stand for. Maybe if you took the time to familiarize yourself with our basic tenets you’d have a chance of understanding. Also, it wouldn’t hurt if you learned what logic actually is.
@ #134 Theologist Says:
1) You people think you’re so funny with all this crap you made up.
Wrong, this site and Pastafarianism in general is not intended to be funny, and I resent your implication that it is.
2) I hope you all rot in hell.
How very xian of you. Remember anything about “love your neighbor”?
3)People 2000 years ago did not form christianity just to get a good laugh. They were witnesses to the divine.
Wrong again. They were witnesses to events they didn’t understand, and they made up gods and religions in an attempt to explain them.
4) You stupid atheists can’t take the idea that there is a real God that is going to screw you so badly it’s not even funny.
Fuck you for calling me stupid, and I’ll be happy to consider any rational, logical evidence you’d care to present in support of your claim.
5) I’m guessing this is all just a massive conspiracy, right?
Umm, what? Conspiracy of whom to accomplish what?
6) Well, go join Hitler and Stalin in Hell.
Sorry, not possible, hell is an imaginary place made up by Dante to sell membership in the xian church.
7) Don’t worry, i’m sure we all evolved from apes that evolved from crocidiles which evolved from rats which evolved from ants. That’s the evolution chain, isn’t it?
Not quite. If you care to read a bit about how evolution works, I’m sure we could have an intelligent discussion. Assuming that you have a certain minimum mental processing ability.
How about you go home and stop annoying your neighbors? I’m sure they’ll all appreciate it.
RAmen
ET
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I believe it was the movie ‘Dogma’ that provided this quote…. ‘Jesus had a lot of great IDEALS, people ruined them by turning them into beliefs.’
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@ 133,
What a tool! I had no idea that God had chosen you to be his defender! He must be a weak sack of pus if he needs a flesh and blood human to do his talking for him. Just like Jesus! Doesn’t it occur to you that maybe those scribes of the Bible were making shit up and for 3000 years have been having a great laugh at your and your ilks stupidity for falling for it all? Here’s a thought: maybe God got sick of you Christians getting his message wrong and decided to talk through a physics student, and because He is God, thought that he should assume a pleasing form so Bobby’s eyes wouldn’t melt-say, a plate of spaghetti?
@ 134,
Another dumb ass who thinks he knows God’s wishes and hopes we rot in Hell! If I had one singular wish, it would be that you piss-miserable Xians could come up with a classier retort! As I told the previous inbred cocksnot, maybe the joke’s on you! In those mythical times you hold so sacred, the goat-herders and Jewish people were constantly getting their collective asses kicked by everyone, they couldn’t beat a case of athlete’s foot. They needed something to give their downtrodden group hope, and as with any ancient culture, God soothes that burn. It’s OK to have a shitty life, when you die, God will make it up for you. You are sooo dumb! Without one shred of proof, you boast that you know what God wants because you read his book. You folks always think God is telling you the right path, guiding you through your life. NEWSFLASH! It’s you and the voices in your fucking head! Don’t worry, they’ll fade out as you die!
Oh, while I’m at this; Hitler was a Christian, when you go to Heaven, ask him about it!
You have no understanding about evolution, and frankly no comprehension of the origins of your own damned religion! It was only the magic of the Spell-Checker that got you to spell Theologian correctly. Do us a favor and take some world religion and biology classes before you try to flaunt your ignorance!
RAmen!
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I don’t care what you have to say, you obviously hate what I have to say.
I don’t think spouting lines from one of the worst fantasy novels in existance will change my mind.
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Right could someone explain to me why God is so insecure? I mean many of the representations of him sort of go for the angry old man, he really needs to get out of that image. I noticed when I read the bible there is no mention of Dinosaurs .. and Dinosaurs rock.
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O NOES! Buy-bull quotes!! =O
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Throwing around bible verses won’t convince someone who doesn’t believe in it…
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i just wanna put his out there… wasnt “the”god just one of the most succesfull man made gods? not even the first, just the most popular
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When the Bible says “have no other Gods before me”, and that God is jealous….he’s jealous of His Noodliness. What more proof do you need?
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In other words, “all those other Gods you made up are fake, but I’M real”. Sort of like walking into a room of strangers and one comes up to you and says all the others are liars. You should believe him because…?
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Loophole- the FSM is never really referred to as a “God” per se, just a big, huge, invisible, all-knowing, all seeing Flying Spaghetti Monster. So yeah, we’re not in the wrong here.
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What I have never been able to understand is why people will push away thousands, maybe millions of pieces of evidence that point to one conclusion, but then devote themselves to conclusions dictated in a book that other people have told them is true. Beliving the Bible comes from parental brainwashing, nothing else. I myself have read the Bible, and I find nothing more than a piece of literature.
R’Amen
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all this holier-than-thou bible quoting is great and all, but what if you dont BELIEVE in the god who supposedly set these rules in the first place? thats like trying to apply the rules of communist Russia to Americans. seriously guys, this is kinda crazy.
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@#163 – gustav shortypants
“wasnt “the”god just one of the most succesfull man made gods? not even the first, just the most popular”
Slack competition at the time!
http://www.wulffmorgenthaler.com/default.aspx?id=69bc035c-8062-487a-8431-9c18ad9a7cc9
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I agree that all the gods are idols. False ones. I just don’t see why yours is different.
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@ 134
“Don’t worry, i’m sure we all evolved from apes that evolved from crocidiles which evolved from rats which evolved from ants. That’s the evolution chain, isn’t it? HAHA.”
No it isn’t maybe you should read up and get some solid fact into your head before you try to be sarcastic and funny again.
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I think its funny that some christians try to prove their religion, with their religion. everyone can prove there own religion with their religious scriptures. FSMist can prove their religion with their Gospel TOO! every religion can prove there religion the way you are. your only proving that your religion has no science to prove any part of your religion, so your trying to prove it with a book written by MAN 2000 years ago. and MAN makes mistakes, so what was written in the bible 2000 years ago is not whats in the bible today. in the st.James bible he added that you needed to pay taxes and so forth. so next time you want to prove your religion use hard facts, not a book that was written 2000 years ago.
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“Mmm. That is some tasty spaghetti.”
Dinner 1:23:09
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Pssst! Not beleiving in God kinda means we don’t fear his wrath
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Hunter (post 172) The bible according to many Christian groups was written by 100 AD. The book was not actually compiled into a single work until 325AD. Check out the Apocrypha, it is a series of biblical stories that didn’t make the cut. The noodle works in mysterious ways.
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The Flying Spaghetti Monster isn’t gold OR silver – He’s 100% noodley goodness!
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Yes, but what the poster misses is this quote :
“Right beside the gates, in a small group that was carefully shielded from the crowds by the police, stood the five famous children, together with grown-ups who had come with them.”
- Chapter 13, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.
Get out of that one, bible boy!
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If religion were a form of economy, this person made Christianity sound like a monopoly. Which in Amurica, is illegal, you know.
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What?! Even the Christian god is closed-minded?!
Didn’t you understood that the FSM is just another way of looking at god. If god really exists, then, he would be ok with every religion however they call him or see him.
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“Who gives a shit”
-Trevor
(13:37)
If I actually wanted to believe in god wouldn’t I be at a christian website? Goddamn I thought god loved all… Since when was he a dictator? Don’t force your oppinion on others or else His Noodlyness will get you
Top rAmen
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here’s some cut and paste of my own. The bible is awash with theese aswell.
“And thou shalt eat it as barley cakes, and thou shalt bake it with dung that cometh out of a man, in their sight. And the lord said: Even thus shall the children of Israel eat their defiled bread among the Gentiles, whither I will drive them.”
(Ezekiel 4:12-13)
Does that mean i should eat my own shit? if so, i prefer pasta..
“[if two men are fighting] and the other’s wife, willing to deliver her husband out of the hand of the stronger, shall put forth her hand, and take him by the secrets, thou shalt cut off her hand, neither shalt thou be moved with any pity in her regard.”
(Deuteronomy 25:11-12)
Personally i would think a word of thanks would be more adequate and i’m sure his noodliness agrees.
“do not cripple your blessed brain with the logic of the donkey”
(Cohen 1:1)
There, i quoted myself. It’s not a 2000 years old quote but it’s just as relevant.
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Pastafariens and Cristians are not the same thing, keep your quotes to yourself!
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Thou shalt not be a dumba** 11th commandment
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I can write words too! Doesn’t mean they are right! So you can quote the Bible all you want but it doesn’t mean anything. HA!
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You quoted an ages old text written by men who disallowed women from entering in prayer, took slaves from other nations under the dictions of god, and think that there was a flash flood that left the whole world under water for a period of a hundred fifty days.
Okay.
Whatever you say.
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“You shall not make anything to be with Me – gods of silver or gods of gold you shall not make for yourselves.” (Exodus 20:23).
Please note that the bible makes no reference to gods of spaghetti.
RAmen.
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Exactly the kind of stuff you’d expect from a successful business model. Take Apple (the iMac/iPod company) for an acceptable substitute.
“Thou shalt have no other software before Mac OS. And thou shalt not use any other web browser than Safari, and the use of any music program other than iTunes shall be forbidden. Verily, I have caused it so that any other software shalt confound thy iPod. And verily, he who shops outside of iTunes is a heretic, and his music thou shalt not accept.”
You’re saying that THAT makes your god right? It makes him a control-freak jerk, if that’s what you mean.
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Not a single line in there had any semblance of individuality. I do so love the copy-pasters. They are ignorance at it’s finest.
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And Saint Attila raised the hand grenade up on high, saying, “O Lord, bless this thy hand grenade, that with it thou mayst blow thine enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy.” And the Lord did grin, and the people did feast upon the lambs and sloths, and carp and anchovies, and orangutans and breakfast cereals, and fruit-bats and large…(Here the original copy was too faded to make out, and so was left blank in all future renditions of it.) And the Lord spake, saying, “First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it. (Armaments 2:9-21)
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Ok, if you want to make a point about something, be original. You just look like a hoity-toity religious bastard when you start quoting from the bible, and it just makes you look like a fucking Uber-Christian asshole who can’t take a joke. Calm down, and shut up. Trust me when I say this, I’m making these comments to help you become less of a douchebag. Why don’t you cut the crock and just wrap your tiny mind around the fact that this is nothing but a satirical evaluation of all of the right-wing nutjobs who go crazy over relgion in schools. I’ve seen fanboys less uptight than you.
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My favorite? “Let’s do lunch” (Andiamo’s Ristorante, 12:15)
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And on the seventh day the FSM said “shall we have Carbonara or Arabiatta.”
Pizza Hut 1.1
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I think this guy’s preaching is one of the big reasons why a lot of people are not christians. If your god is real then it’s people like you that try to convert us we hate, not him. And if there is a heaven there would be a lot of people like you in it in which case I would much rather go to hell.
Ramen.
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“You shall not make anything to be with Me – gods of silver or gods of gold you shall not make for yourselves.”
This says nothing of making gods from pasta.
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you do realize that the quoted passages are about Jews, not Xtians, Don’t you? Also these are outdated as they refer to tribes that no longer exist, and it is too archaic to be taken seriously. Keep up with the times! the Gospel of the FSM was produced in 2005!
RAMEN
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Do you have any pearls of wisdom from a book not riddled with contradictions and violence?
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The bible says that you should kill your children, your siblings, your friends, or your wife if they lead others away from the Christian god.
Deuteronomy 13:6-9 (New International version)
If your very own brother, or your son or daughter, or the wife you love, or your closest friend secretly entices you, saying, “Let us go and worship other gods”, do not yield to him or listen to him. Show him no pity. Do not spare him or shield him. You must certainly put him to death. Your hand must be the first in putting him to death, and then the hands of all the people. Stone him to death…
If you’re a Christian and you believe the Bible is the perfect word of God, are you going to do what God demands in this passage? Would you really stone your children to death if they encouraged a belief in another religion?
Maybe Pastafarians should whip their children with wet noodles if they try to lead people astray from the FSM. Pastafarians aren’t quite so brutal and violent as those angry Christians.
dr
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Jerry,
This opinion piece from the Christian Science Moniter is by one of your own people.
http://news.yahoo.com/s/csm/20090310/cm_csm/yspencer
When are you folks going to do the work of learning and stop blindly misquoting a book that you can’t even read? You know nothing of the political situation when this was written, to whom it was written, or the authorship of what you are misquoting. Without all that knowledge, you are proving yourself to be an ignorant jerk.
Say,”Abracadabra!” Now you’ve evoked a magic spell, just as you’ve tried to evoke one with other words that you don’t know, and can’t read. There, don’t you feel better now?
RAmen
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Is quoting the bible suppose to mean anything? If words from the bible is your only proof then we all might as well just quote from any book we read as proof of how things exist.
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The average Christian:
*Examines Bible*
I like the texture on the front. The brown makes it feel old or something. Oooh a shiny gold Title and the sides of the pages are even gold! God must be rich! Well let’s open it up.
*Opens Bible*
Pages in books actually turn! Man that’s a lot of words though… I don’t know if I have the time to learn how to read right now. I know! I’ll open to a random page and see what it says!
*Opens Bible to a random page and finds someone to read it to them*
“For all the gods of the peoples are idols, but the LORD made the heavens.” (1 Chronicles 16:26)
I like it! Let’s paste it somewhere because this seems like valid proof to me.
Ridiculous.
RAmen
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