“For all the gods of the peoples are idols, but the LORD made the heavens.” (1 Chronicles 16:26).
“You shall not make anything to be with Me – gods of silver or gods of gold you shall not make for yourselves.” (Exodus 20:23).
“What you have in your mind shall never be, when you say, ‘We will be like the Gentiles, like the families in other countries, serving wood and stone.’” (Ezekiel 20:32).
“Thou shalt have no other gods before me. Exodus 20:3 (Deuteronomy 5:7, Judges 6:10, Hosea 13:4″
-Jerry
For all the gods of the peoples are idols
Published by Bobby Henderson January 5th, 2009 in Hate Mail (and concerned criticism). 218 Comments
218 Responses to “For all the gods of the peoples are idols”
Meg, you’re totally right here! So many people misunderstand the true nature of FSMism, but you seem to grasp it just perfectly.
You correctly note that evolutionists won’t consider ID, and we Pastafarians have found that those pesky science-reliant evolutionists won’t consider our theories of the universe, either. Not to get into a theological debate with you, but our doctrine has a surprising amount of common-sense and written evidence to back it, and most of us are utterly confused as to why people who claim to seek understanding of universal principles are so quick to dismiss a claim simply because it’s “divinely inspired”. ID might have some great points, but our theory is more succinct and simpler.
The law of parsimony says we’re right, but those evolutionists stick to their egregious claims of how the universe, life, and everything came to be. We Pastafarians find it absurd that our opposition require scientific evidence, peer-review, testing of hypotheses, dedicated observations, and other supposedly “scientific” indicators before accepting a theory.
Assuming that you agree with us that all possibly relevant points of view should be taught in schools, then its safe to say that we’re on the same side in the ID/FSMism/evolution debate. If only those evolutionists would accept that evidence is over-rated in the face of faith, then the proper authorities could realize that our points of view are more plausible than any which are backed by supposed evidence.
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To the OP: Well…is’nt that special!
@ Meg: When anyone capable of critical thinking skills does ponder ID, it is invariably tossed out the window as x-tian fundamentalism dressed up in a cheap suit.
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Ohh…. the horror of it all….
RAmen
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Perhaps I’m just tired, but Meg confuses me.
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You may have an ancient book full of barbarism, genocide, contradictions, sexism, incest, and other graphic violence. But we have pasta!
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ummmm–Meg, what’s your point?
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Uh, Meg? You might want to at least make an attempt to understand Pastafarianism before you climb on your pedestal to rain derision on us. Watch carefully now — Intelligent Design is NOT science. It does NOT belong in a science classroom. If you want to teach it in philosophy or religion class, have at it, we won’t care. Set aside your own prejudices before you spout off, otherwise you only showcase your own narrowmindedness and ignorance.
A couple of questions:
What is your theory as to the origin of the first cell?
What are “teaching time laws”?
Where the hell do you get the idea that evolutionists are not rational enough to consider ID? Virtually every creationist I have talked with has dismissed evolutionary theory out of hand, because it disagrees with their view of so-called “biblical truth”, not because they have examined it’s basis and tested its predictions. Evolutionists, and scientists in general, reject ID because it does not meet the basic definition of science, it cannot be tested. How is ID rational in the first place? Rationality implies step-by-step reasoning from established premises, not presumption of undemonstrable magic. You ask who cares? You want your kids (and presumably everyone else’s) to continue the trend that has the US at or near the bottom of science education achievement in worldwide comparisons? This is a desirable outcome?
“Why keep infuriating them with your talk of prayer and about how God loves them. It doesn’t work like that.” That’s the only part you got right. It doesn’t work like that. There’s no magic sky fairy up there jumping to answer anyone’s prayers. Get off your butt and do something for yourself, no mythical god is going to do anything for anyone.
RAmen
ET
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Are these quotations supposed to enlighten us in some way?
Quote 1 – A book says “the lord made the heavens” …. well I know a few books that suggest otherwise, and some of these even have evidence!
Quote 2 – The same book says “gods of silver… you shall not make for yourselves” – why not – it seems ok for xtianity to manufacture out of gold or silver the instrument of torture/execution that their prophet died on, and then hang it round their own necks. How bizarrely gruesome that is. Yet for some reason you cannot make a model of an imaginary being. Seems like someone has their priorities well out of whack.
Quote 3 – “serving wood and stone” – for dinner? I think pasta and meatballs would be tastier. Or is it not that kind of serving?
Quote 4 – That book again – if you cannot have gods before him (or though in historical terms there were many just as plausible gods worshipped in the thousands of years before the xtian god appeared) can we not be allowed to have a few gods after him. Perhaps sneaking in one made of wheat based carbohydrates and dead cow?
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Meg,
What are you on about? I take it from the tone of your message you are implying that a creator solves the problem of life, the universe and everything. Why should that be? God(s) simply stand (and always have done) for ignorance until the true reasons are found: The river god flooding the land every year; the sun god rising every morning and setting every night; the FSM holding us down with his noodley appendages. Eventually some bright spark will see how ridiculous such gods are and come up with the rational explanation. Just assigning an all powerful, invisible super-being to the seemingly supernatural is just downright stupid.
The trouble with ID supporters is that they rationalize everything to fit their brainwashing. And evolutionists are too rational to give up and assign the unknown to a sky fairy.
Please don’t stop the christians praying for us – at least we won’t kill them for trying and they are good for a giggle.
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Meg: thank god you’re not a teacher.
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Uh, what?
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What is this even trying to say. I don’t mean to be rude but COME ON. This is ridiculus. I mean people talk about the CFSM rubbing the religion in their faces but Christians are always rubbing it in ours’! Like this dude came round to our door trying to make us join the Church of England and the next minute there was a dude saying the world was gonna end (Jehova’s witness). Lol. They can’t talk you know?
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Meg
“Supporters of ID can rationalize the way evolutionists think, but evolutionists are not rational enough to consider ID.”
That’s because ID is not based on REASON. ID has to be “rationalized”, i.e. you have to create some bullshit story to pretend that your bullshit theory is based on reason.
Please don’t pray for us and we won’t pray for you! The FSM thinks you’re a troll, anyway.
Ramen.
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First of all, on behalf of children everywhere, let me thank you for not being a public school teacher.
Secondly, if you stop and think about what you said, you may realize that you nearly have it. Just a little more reasoning and you might just get it. Here’s a clue: “Surely your Spaghetti Monster did it.” Yes, this does sound absurd. Hmmmm…..
And lastly, the reason that people tend to believe evolution is the amount of evidence, or observable data. If any ID-ist could show even the slightest shred of evidence that the ID “theory” was valid, any rational, or scientifically minded person would consider ID and investigate. As it stands, ID has never been able to show even the slightest fragment of data.
So RAmen to you, and here’s hoping you will not brainwash your children, but let them grow up to be clear minded, free thinking individuals, who are emotionally stable enough to draw their own conclusions regarding religion.
Pesto be upon you.
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lmao wow people are really hating on you dude. long live fsm.
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I seriously hate when people quote from the bible. Just because the bible is the best selling fiction book for the last thousand and some years, doesn’t mean it should be quoted as if those events ACTUALLY happened.
Your an idiot. Go away.
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Nope, I just had a nap. Not tired any more. Meg still confusing.
*sigh* Try to break this one down, too.
One- Evolution doesn’t explain the first cell, it explains what happened to it’s descendants. Kinda the same way market pressures explain a lot of how cars have developed, but now how they were invented in the first place. Different processes.
Two- ‘Teaching Time laws’ refers to how ID people want laws in place forcing equal time to be spent teaching Evolution and ID. She’s saying the FSM is part of Darwin’s theory of evolution, and should be taught as such, people.
By the way, Meg, that’s retarded. Just…. seriously, seriously, retarded.
Three- ‘Rationalize’ means to make something irrational appear rational or reasonable- a fairly good description of how ID works. Judging by context, I’d say you screwed up trying to find a fancy word meaning ‘understand’. Those of us who actually DO understand usually get by with the word ‘understand’. Try it, you might like it.
Oh, and those of us who actually went to school (and paid attention) can understand ID just fine. It’s not really that complicated, after all. We just don’t agree with it. Maybe if you weren’t trying to score points so hard, you’d have noticed that.
Four- I’m curious, Meg. If someone wants to pray for me, just how DO you think it works? I’d always understood it’s a fairly straightforward process. I even appreciate the gesture, when they do. It’s a lot friendlier than your smug hostility, after all.
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Hey Jerry, are you gonna take this or fight? Cause we’re tired of laughing behind you. Either prove that you’re right, or at least let us laugh to your face.
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Here is a few more quotes you might want to look at. (this is for the author of the original mail)
http://www.infidels.org/library/modern/donald_morgan/inconsistencies.html
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Meg: as an “evolutionist”, I dismiss ID since any scientific (and we’re talking what’s being taught as science, remember?) theory that says “and here’s where some magic happened performed by someone of whom there’s absolutely no proof!” just doesn’t make the grade.
Now, why can’t someone who’s religious (I’ll bet Darwin was!) see how evolution is going on all around you? Why are artic animals typically the largest of their species? To conserve heat – how convenient. Why the smallest members of a species typically found on islands? To conserve resources! Natural selection is … natural. White moths were the most prevalent in England before the Industrial Revolution. But when the coal fires deposited soot on the white houses, grey moths had a camoflauge advantage, and became more plentiful.
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Our almighty FSM is not made of wood and stone, but I see a problem. Perhaps he is not kosher, and is therefore non appropriate for the old testament. I should think about it.
Meg, please keep your kids out from public schools, you will do our kids a favor.
I live in Europe and folks, believe it or not, the ID crap here comes from the muslims. Who for obvious reasons don’t like this science bullshit.
And by the way, my kid is 2 years old and I’m looking for a school. And virtually every parent I ask who is happy with the elementary school of their kid say that he /she goes to a catholic school. And I draw the line at catholic schools. my kid is not getting brainwashed. religion and education are a contradiction in terms.
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Hey Meg, it is really too bad that Galileo was too rigid to consider that the Earth is likely flat and the center of the universe.
Keep homeschooling your children and hopefully they will one day be accepted to the ridiculous Liberty “university”.
You are always welcome to grace us with your presence. After all, no time is a bad time to have a laugh at fundies’ expense.
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@Darwinfish,
You are mistaken when you said, “If you had actually done your homework on the FSM you’d realize that the whole thing is intended as a joke.”
Our prophet, Bobby Henderson, says otherwise: “Some claim that the church is purely a thought experiment, satire, illustrating that Intelligent Design is not science, but rather a pseudoscience manufactured by Christians to push Creationism into public schools. These people are mistaken. The Church of FSM is real, totally legit, and backed by hard science. Anything that comes across as humor or satire is purely coincidental.” (Click the “About” button for verification.) His letter to the Kansas School Board makes it clear that Pastafarians do believe in our Noodly Master, the Flying Spaghetti Monster.
RAmen
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@Josh #101
Yarr absolutely right, mate! We insist that our theory of the creation be taught right alongside “intelligent design” whenever ID is taught in a science class. It’s only fair.
RAmen
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Everyone seems to be quoting scriptures, so I’m going to do that too, I’ll even do it in a language few if any of you understand:
Ár var alda,
það er ekki var,
var-a sandur né sær
né svalar unnir;
jörð fannst æva
né upphiminn,
gap var ginnunga
en gras hvergi,
–Völuspá 3
Ungur var eg forðum,
fór eg einn saman:
þá varð eg villur vega.
Auðigur þóttumst
er eg annan fann:
Maður er manns gaman.
–Hávamál 47
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@ meg
i’m not sure what you hoped to accomplish with your response to the responses to jerry’s regurgitation of some randomly chosen biblical verses that have little, if any, relevance today, but it looks like you failed quite miserably.
your response did, however, sadly showcase your ignorance not only of pastafarianism, but of evolution and the theory you seem to tacitly support: ID. may i suggest that you gain some understanding before taking a position? kneejerk reactions are so george w bush.
read the gospel of the flying spaghetti monster (bobby henderson)
read the origin of species (charles darwin)
read darwin’s black box (michael behe)
once you have fully absorbed the information presented in each book, please come back and join us in an intelligent, knowledge-based discussion. maybe then your comments will go in the general section, rather than this one.
and jerry, if you’re still out there, try to choose interesting verses next time. you know, ones that actually have some relationship to the thought your trying to put forth. we pastafarians are pretty smart – we’ll pick up what you mean. but for next time, it would be helpful if you were a little less cryptic. and jerry, try to keep the threats to a minimum, ok? thanks.
yours in pasta,
V
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Here is a quote: “Your Rigatoni is so big, is it real?” My wife 1:06:09
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@ Jerry and Meg. I’m not quite sure what either of you are saying. My daughter went to a public school and she turned out just fine. As long as we can keep the church where it belongs; only in the church; then we will all be okay. It’s when religion is allowed to run around rampant that we have problems.
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HMMMMMMMMMMM more bible writings makes me feel warm and fuzzy
NOT
Seriously more scripture readings I won’t bother destroyig your letter because it has already been done but that is one of the weakest hate mail yet.
PS I do appreaciate the lack of Cussing us out and telling us we are going to burn in HELL.
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Evolution makes me warm and Fuzzy.
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…What was this supposed to accomplish??
Spouting bible verses at us doesn’t help your case. Kid, we’ve heard them all before.
Crazy Christitans.
Thinking bible verses mean anything to non-Christians.
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What could possibly be more clearly written by man and for a more obvious purpose?
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whoever believes in this retarded spagetti monster i have to tell you something you are fucking retarded and need to start thinking logically because if there ois a god he is going to hate you for all eternity for making a mockery of him. if you think i am just being a duche bag you are wrong for i am trying to protect the sacredness of god even though i my self do not believe in him and maybe you should find a real religion and stop taking all of the respect that people have for god and destroying you stupid ignorant assholes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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You people think you’re so funny with all this crap you made up. I hope you all rot in hell. People 2000 years ago did not form christianity just to get a good laugh. They were witnesses to the divine. You stupid atheists can’t take the idea that there is a real God that is going to screw you so badly it’s not even funny. I’m guessing this is all just a massive conspiracy, right? Well, go join Hitler and Stalin in Hell. Don’t worry, i’m sure we all evolved from apes that evolved from crocidiles which evolved from rats which evolved from ants. That’s the evolution chain, isn’t it? HAHA.
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This applies to Meg too
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people have to believe the bible is true in order to belive what it says is right.
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Please enjoy this highly relevant, musical interlude:
http://au.youtube.com/watch?v=4DXl68NF_uI&feature=related
from a very wise Australian (Yes, we have them.).
RAmen.
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My favorites are the ones that qoute the Bible. They still don’t grasp that we see the Bible as impotent and (other than as an amazing piece of fiction) not worth the paper it’s printed on. My other favorites are the ones who curse and condemn us and then say they’ll pray for us. Man, they sure get angry, don’t they? Awesome.
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@Josh lolz That is classic, classic.
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Another peculiar remnant of the thousand-year-long intellectual decline they call the Dark Ages. Pastafarianism is now the fashionable path of enlightenment, no fear, no hell and no apocalypse.
The original post was probably a troll, the spelling’s too good and the punctuation is almost 100% accurate although a copy & paste is also possible.
All Hail His Eternally Noodly Lordship The Flying Spaghetti Monster.
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h-ness you truly are a nut! The world IS going to end and your going to hell.
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Jehovah’s witnesses fall over when you hit them and don’t get up for ages.
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Well I don’t know about you guys, but I’m convinced. Death to the infidels!
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if i qouted the koran saying jerry is an idoit would you care?
NO BECAUSE YOU DONT BELIVE IT SO THE ARGUMENT IS STUPID
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Wonderful stuff.
Actually the translations from the original Hebrew to English need a little work.
“You shall not make anything to be with Me – gods of silver or gods of gold you shall not make for yourselves.” (Exodus 20:23).
is actually Exodus 20:19 (there is no 23…)
Translated directly from the Hebrew – (as a teacher might tell a student):
“With ME – you will not make your own gods of silver and gold”
More importantly (like everything in life) it is important to read in context. The rest of the chapter goes on to say that the children of Israel should only make alters of earth…and only then will they be blessed. They should not use iron swords to cut stone – because the swords will become a desecration. No idol worship, no incest as a way of worship.
The Jewish vision for a utopian world is actually a world without swords, a world that is vegetarian and peaceful. Pasta is good. Steaks are bad.
Have a wonderful weekend and a Shabat Shalom
Danny Lieberman
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It’s actually quite obvious that our FSM god created your god and told him to tell you all that stuff to test your faith in his noodley goodness. He also knew that you would fail his test, but all of his most devout followers would come to his defense. All of this is written in your own bible! It’s true using ELS the method outlined for making predictions using a secret code in the Holy Bible with a skip value of 4,606 characters I found this sentence.
“FSM Real, 1 5 9 defend me”
conclusive proof that the FSM created your god, then instructed him to tell the apostles what to write in the bible with the intent of hiding a secret message that would predict the very moment of your post to prove his existence. Saying anything else is un-pastafarian and since terrorists are also un-patafarian then you must be a terrorist. I hope you enjoy your stale beer and VD laden strippers.
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There is a bit of a stink here in England at the moment over an athiest advertising campaign on the side of buses. A slogan on the buses reads ‘There’s probably no God. Now stop worrying and enjoy your life’.
Some Christians have complained to the advertising watchdog saying this is false advertising as it cannot be proved there is no God.
The irony here is this advertising campaign is in reply to a similar bus advertising campaign last year claiming there is a God. This rather lovely Christian campaign had a website address attatched to it which when you visited it told you all non-Christians and athiests would burn in Hell for eternity. Nice.
No proof was offered, of course.
Once again the nutters are happy to spout their vile hatred and threats of damnation but when a peaceful athiest campaign just wanting people to stop worrying is started the Christians start complaining and moaning.
Is it me or do Christians seem a quite unhappy bunch considering they believe they are going to spend eternity in Paradise?
I think these Christians need to, to quote Eddie Murphy quoting Richard Pryor,’have a Coke and a smile and shut the fuck up’.
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Thou shalt not build temples in my honor…… WHOOPS!
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Meg: A god (or a bunch of them) does NOT solve any problems with the “compicated stuff like life can’t be a coincidence”. It just provides a quick and simple solution for morons who are willing to accept the first offered solution without thinking about it – For god(s) to create life, the universe and everything he/it/them MUST be even more complex than the stuff they create – therefore he/it/them (by your own logic) MUST have been created – and created by something EVEN MORE COMPLEX THAN GOD, which in turn must be even more complex, which in turn must have been created by…. I believe that even you can see a problem (one of a lot) with creationism logic now.
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“I’d really rather you didn’t act like a sanctimonious holier-than-thou ass when describing my noodly goodness. If some people don’t believe in me, that’s okay. Really, I’m not that vain.”
Looks like you guys are waltzing away from His first I’d Really Rather You Didn’t. Come back! Let’s just knock the poor bastards for having absolute faith in something impossible to prove as opposed to saying that the Desert God’s a really terrible guy. He seems nice, love and whatnot, but a bit opaque.
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