“For all the gods of the peoples are idols, but the LORD made the heavens.” (1 Chronicles 16:26).
“You shall not make anything to be with Me – gods of silver or gods of gold you shall not make for yourselves.” (Exodus 20:23).
“What you have in your mind shall never be, when you say, ‘We will be like the Gentiles, like the families in other countries, serving wood and stone.’” (Ezekiel 20:32).
“Thou shalt have no other gods before me. Exodus 20:3 (Deuteronomy 5:7, Judges 6:10, Hosea 13:4″
-Jerry
For all the gods of the peoples are idols
Published by Bobby Henderson January 5th, 2009 in Hate Mail (and concerned criticism). 218 Comments
218 Responses to “For all the gods of the peoples are idols”
OK, this has got to be the lamest attempt at a hate mail yet. Still, let’s try to break it down, shall we?
First- Effort. Given the overall quality of previous hatemail, Jerry, your desperate fear of committing spelling and grammar errors is (at least in my opinion) fully justified. That said, it still doesn’t excuse trying to get by using nothing but cut-and-paste quotes by somebody else. Total fail for lack of effort.
Second- Context. Firing off a set of ambiguous quotes at a bunch of people who include few bible students, with absolutely no clarifying text. Total fail for lack of effort AND intelligibility.
Third- Coherence. In your desperation to snag some easy cut/ pastes you mixed up some stuff about graven images (which we tend to avoid in favor of CGI and edibles, BTW) with the exclusive-worship clause from the Sinai Pact (which only applies to Christians, Jews, and Muslims, you lugnut!). Total fail for lack of effort, and a slack-jawed inability to even stay on message.
Honestly, Jerry, the only thing you managed to do properly, was spell your name right. Assuming, that is, you’re not actually a ‘Geraldine’ or something…
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These are the edicts of the desert god to his chosen people, and apply to them. Pleading the laws of your faith against us places no obligation against us. No more than the laws of Cairo apply to the citizens of Boston, Houston, London, or Glasgow. We do not insist on your adherence to the Pasta Path. Who are we to question why His Noodliness has chosen not to reveal Himself unto you? Until you are touched by His Noodly Appendage, nothing we can say or do will reach your heart. It is not a matter of our choice. If one can truly choose a deity, then surely that being is no god for the Chosen is the lesser of the Chooser. No our Gods choose us.
So, in sympathy, we may only pray that the L-inguini O-mni R-amen D-eus, His Noodliness, the Flying Spaghetti Monster will invite you to the party. The Ultimate Decision is His alone. May the Sauce be with you.
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Thanks Jerry! The quite obvious point of this post is that the ancient rabbis who invented their god had no problem with a pasta based rival. Wood,stone gold and silver were unpopular with those old fellows but no mention is made of a tomato based sauce or meatballs. Or, just maybe, the original jehova contained more garlic and basil than the later followers of that radical lefty, jebus, have let on.Hmmmm, just a thought. By the way Jerry, your punctuation and spelling is way above the usual hate mail standard, and kudos to you for not swearing or making death/eternal damnation/violence threats.
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Where do these lines come from? Some old video game, like “All Your Base Are Belong To Us”? I think I’ve heard about “Gentiles” before – some band from the 70s, “Gentile Giant” or something? Well, these lines don’t rhyme, so please try again.
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Bible quotes… how interesting and original and relevant and prooving and undeniable… sigh…
Oh… sorry… I had a little of irony tea…
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Oh no, he quoted sci-fi at us! What ever shall we do?
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Silver, gold, wood and stone – that’s lucky the bible doesn’t mention pasta
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whoa… a list of scriptures, but it doesn’t say anything about making gods of pasta so we should be safe
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“Who ate my toast?” Exodus 20:4 (Deuteronomy 5:7, Judges 6:10, Hosea 13:4
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“For all the gods of the peoples are idols, but the LORD made the heavens.” (1 Chronicles 16:26).
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Which doesn’t mean that your lord isn’t also an idol. Or could also be construed as your lord made the heavens, but is not a god. This passage also acknowledges the existence of other gods.
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“You shall not make anything to be with Me – gods of silver or gods of gold you shall not make for yourselves.” (Exodus 20:23).
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It only forbids gold and silver ones. I don’t see any prohibition on carbohydrate based deities.
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“What you have in your mind shall never be, when you say, ‘We will be like the Gentiles, like the families in other countries, serving wood and stone.’” (Ezekiel 20:32).
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Again, we serve The Noodly One and delicious grog. All that passage says is that our religion does this, while their religion does that.
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“Thou shalt have no other gods before me. Exodus 20:3 (Deuteronomy 5:7, Judges 6:10, Hosea 13:4″
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Here the bible acknowledges there are gods other than Yahweh/Jehova/Whatever. Why say that Yahweh/Jehova/Whatever must be put in front of other gods, if there aren’t other gods?
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Dude, the bible isn’t proof of anything. Spouting biblical quotes isn’t going to make us believe in the god of Abraham. Also, you didn’t include any of your own thoughts, just quotes from others, which leads me to assume you don’t have many thoughts of your own that aren’t twisted by your religious beliefs.
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Jerry Jerry Jerry,
these are quotes from that book about the jealous god, the one who doesn’t like Gentiles (you must be Jewish or confused). He’s such a nasty character, so egocentric with all that worship me or else crap and not the kind of god I’d want to believe in. I read that second installment about his son hanging around with 12 men and a prostitute. Long hair and a dress, his Dad must have been very dissapointed, no grandkids! I blame the mother, all that talk of virginity is enough to turn any boy queer. I’ve heard say that Joseph was an alcoholic and beat his wench Mary in front of the boy but that tragic part of his life was cut from the zombie cult gospels by the Vatican. I don’t think Joseph ever believed her story and after a few drinks just couldn’t control his rage. You know how religious types get when they find out they’ve been living a lie. He should have given himself over to His Noodliness and accepted that his son was gay and his wife was “everybody’s girl” and that it’s ok by our Lord The flying Spaghetti Monster, we’re all his children. Story might have had a nicer ending.
Mel Gibson’s film version was hilarious, did Jesus ever do stand-up? You could see why all the boys liked him, always ready to turn the other cheek, although I’ve never been into S&M myself it was refreshing to see that the usually whimpy Jesus wasn’t adverse to a bit of a whipping. Naughty boy!!
RAMEN
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Perhaps you meant “for all the gods of the religious are idiots”?
-Tom
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“For all the gods of the peoples are idols, but the LORD made the heavens.”
And the mountains and the trees and a midget.
“You shall not make anything to be with Me – gods of silver or gods of gold you shall not make for yourselves.”
This says nothing about gods of pasta, so I guess that must be okay then.
“What you have in your mind shall never be, when you say, ‘We will be like the Gentiles, like the families in other countries, serving wood and stone.’”
Serving wood and stone … this must refer to wood fired pizza served on those pizza stones – Italian food, one of the great gifts from his noodliness!!!
“Thou shalt have no other gods before me.
This must mean there can be no gods as an entree, and of course pasta is always the main course!
Thank you Jerry for providing these quotes to show that the Christian bible supports the FSM.
RAmen
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Are those quotes from Harry Potter or The Lord of the Rings?
man… there’s too many fantasy story books for me to keep track of.
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“Thou who would quote the words of another without thinking only prove thyself to be a moron.” (Ultra Magnus 15:12, Covenant of Primus)
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Who are those quotes by? It sounds like a some spoiled rotten attention seeking 7th grader who is having whiny tantrums because no one takes him seriously.
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“I am right, and the previous statement pertains to what is being discussed” Gospel of Fred, 3:21
See, I too can “prove” my case by quoting scripture.
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Jerry,
Humans cloned Dinosaurs and made an amusment park about them. -Jurassic Park 1:1
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Hey Jerry (any relation to Jerry Falwell ?). FSM is a lot better than Yahweh. He doesn’t take credit for mass rapes or infanticide. He doesn’t dwell on imaginary kingdoms like Solomon. He doesn’t condone violence. Most importantly, he is not jealous. Yahweh, the Holy Ghost and Allah all have a lesson or two to learn from FSM.
And by the way he is not silver, gold, wood or stone. He is noodles and meatballs. The Old Testament doesn’t prohibit that. Either it’s OK, or Yahweh didn’t see it coming.
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Well, I guess we’re okay then. Says nothing about Gods of pasta. but I do have to wonder what the Gods of all the other religions have to say about this.
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Yeah, that be what all the gods say. Mine offers a beer volcano! Arg.
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Jerry:
Unless you’re a Jewish person, you’re a Gentile.
Thought you should know that.
Meisha
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Aren’t all of those book a bit outdated?
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Yes yes, we’ve heard this before. The bible is true because the bible says it’s true. Checkmate!
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Here are some quotes back at ya’:
If some people don’t believe in me, that’s okay. Really, I’m not that vain. Besides, this isn’t about them so don’t change the subject. (from the 1st I’d really rather you didn’t of the FSM)
I’D REALLY RATHER YOU DIDN’T use my existence as a means to oppress, subjugate, punish, eviscerate, and/or, you know, be mean to others. I don’t require sacrifices, and purity is for drinking water, not people. (2nd I’d really rather you didn’t of the FSM)
Just play nice, Okay? (from the 3rd I’d really rather you didn’t of the FSM)
And I told you to love your fellow man, can’t you take a hint? (from the 7th I’d really rather you didn’t of the FSM)
May you be touched by His Noodly Appendage.
RAmen!
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A Christian that can read? Proper grammar? This must be fake.
Hmm… Granted, other than his name everything was quoted. Maybe it is real.
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from the gospel of the flying spaghetti monster:
“I’d really rather you didn’t act like a sanctimonious holier-than-thou ass when describing my noodly goodness. If some people don’t believe in me, that’s okay. Really, I’m not that vain. Besides, this isn’t about them so don’t change the subject.”
See? I can quote scripture too!
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Wow Jerry, you totally know how to quote stuff from a dusty old book. Well done.
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Hi Jerry. Who wrote the bible? And all the stuff in the old testament? Did those books materialized themselves in the middle of a vilage after a big voice in the sky said “This is my rules, obey them!”? No they have been written by men, to control men. You cannot prove what is said in the bible is really God’s will because NOBODY have ever talked to him, except if you are insane. So stop using the bible as an evidence, since it’s thousands pages of retarded bullshit, very far from the truth.
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Be original. Write your own hatemail instead of quoting dead people.
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Oh, look- bible references. You know, I could probably pull some random passage out of there and sound all fire and brimstone.
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Wow you can copy and paste! I’m Convinced!
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Its ironic that religious people always think everyone else is worshiping a false god/idol. But other religious people who believe in a different god think the same thing — that thiers is the only true god. But as it turns out, since there is no god, they are all just worshiping false idols. Nuts.
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Hey let’s all quote some lines from fictional books…
“It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife.” (Jayne Austen)
“It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us, we were all going direct to Heaven, we were all going direct the other way–in short, the period was so.” (Charles Dickens)
“Once upon a time there was a Martian named Valentine Michael Smith.” (Robert Heinlein)
That was fun.
Now, what was your point extactly?
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Nothing like people who quote Bible verses to people who DON’T BELIEVE. Why not just “neener neener” at the end of your post? It would be as effective.
Here’s some of MY favorite Bible verses:
“How blessed will be the one who seizes and dashes your little ones Against the rock.”
Psalm 137:9 NASB
(why not read this to your children tonight?)
“Yet she increased her prostitution, remembering the days of her youth when she engaged in prostitution in the land of Egypt. She lusted after their genitals – as large as those of donkeys, and their seminal emission was as strong as that of stallions.”
3. Ezekiel 23:19-20 NET
(who needs porn when you have the Bible?)
“If two men, a man and his countryman, are struggling together, and the wife of one comes near to deliver her husband from the hand of the one who is striking him, and puts out her hand and seizes his genitals, then you shall cut off her hand; you shall not show pity.”
1. Deuteronomy 25:11-12 NASB
(remember that, ladies, when breaking up a fight)
Yeah, great book there, dude.
Ramen!
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“Go suck a lemon.” (Aesi 19:2)
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More seriously, though. We do not believe in your evil mass-murdering, slavery-promoting, sexist, racist “god” or your little holy book, so quoting from it means absolutely fuck all, mkay? ;P
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So how come so many religious people have wood and stone statues of various gods from the Christian pantheon? (Jesus, Mary, Joseph, all the crew from the nativity scene, saints, angels, cherubs, etc.) It would seem that Christians are the ones the Bible warns you about.
And this little gem is the only thing religious people should focus on: “For all the gods of the peoples are idols.”
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Jerry,
Thank you for those completely off-topic quotes – do you harangue mall Santas with these same biblical tidbits? RAmen.
-Sarah
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Is there supposed to be a point here?
“Zeus now adressed the immortals: ‘what a lamentable thing it is that men should blame the Gods…for their troubles’” (The Odyssey, Book 1, lines 32-34 – Homer)
“In the beginning there was Chance, and Chance was with God and Chance was God” (The Dice Man – Luke Rhinehart)
This is what the average person calls fiction. Just because it has been written doesn’t mean its true. And just because many people say its true doesn’t mean that it is. And just because it was written a long time ago, that doesn’t mean anything either. In fact, The Odyssey is an even older book, and that is completely false. Get a grip, please.
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Never said anything about wood and stone. We serve pasta!”
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Your point being???
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Oh. The Bible. Yea, boy, I’m convinced.
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aaawwwk! polly wanna cracker! 8/
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…and your point is ?
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Jerry,
This shows a great lack of imagination and ability to think for yourself. Do you honestly think we’ve never heard these passages before and that all it would take would be for you to quote them to convince us? You forget that we reject that the bible is a legitimate source of information.
But just for a moment for the sake of argument assume that it is legitimate. What about this passage:
8 The LORD said unto Moses, “Make thee a fiery serpent, and set it upon a pole: and it shall come to pass, that every one that is bitten, when he looketh upon it shall live.” 9 And Moses made a serpent of brass and put it upon a pole, and it came to pass, that if a serpent had bitten any man, when he beheld the serpent of brass, he lived. (Numbers 21:8-9)
Not only is this an idol that Yahweh commanded Moses to make, but it is a symbol that was worshiped as a god during the time. It’s name is Nehushtan, and copper idols to him have been found. There is also the Greek demigod of the name Asclepius whose symbol is a snake on a pole.
The passage from Exodus is “no other gods BEFORE me” which implies that they simply cannot worship another god as much as Yahweh. It has also been suggested that Yahweh does not say that you cannot make idols of HIM since he has no form so it would be impossible to make something that could represent him accurately.
In 2 Kings (from the NIV):
4 He removed the high places, smashed the sacred stones and cut down the Asherah poles. He broke into pieces the bronze snake Moses had made, for up to that time the Israelites had been burning incense to it. (It was called Nehushtan.)
So all this time since Moses made this snake the Israelites were burning incense without a single complaint from God. Then Hezekiah showed up, and destroyed it on his own (Asherah was another god that was around during the time the Israelites started taking their land)
Well, that’s all old testament stuff and doesn’t apply right? Wrong. How about John 3:14-15:
14Just as Moses lifted up the snake in the desert, so the Son of Man must be lifted up, 15that everyone who believes in him may have eternal life.
Jesus was comparing himself to Nehushtan who just like in the past when the Israelites were saved by the snake, so to would they be saved when they raised Jesus up on the pole.
Nehushtan was a Midianite god, and Moses was married to a Midianite woman shortly before he created the snake.
I could go on, but instead I recommend you watch this video: http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-409150903083942192 for a more in depth examination of Nehushtan.
Peace and Long Life,
Zane
P.S. Even though your original letter didn’t deserve this much examination, if you ever try to do it again, this is the type of thing you must do; provide commentary with the passages to indicate the point you are trying to make.
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I have never understood that. No other gods before me…except Jesus? gods of silver and gold, like all the statues of jesus, mary and saints in churches. The Spaghetti Monster is is not made of any of these, so your second and third statements don’t apply. He is not a mere idol, so your first is out. And, I will not have any other gods before me, especially at dinner. And,he is delicious!!!! So, what is your point?
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Ooh ooh ooh, I know this book! It’s the same one that says “Stone disobedient children” (Deuteronomy 21:18-21).
Some sick bastard wrote it.
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…
LIAR
I suggest next time you read OUR gospel.
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So. I have read many fairy tales. Why are you quoting these ones?
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