Cuss me out, I could care less

Cuss me out, I could care less. But what you are saying really ticks me off. I believe in someone bigger than anyone could imagine. And trust me, I KNOW He is real. I truly think this “Flying Spaghetti Monster” is a horrible sad joke, something a 4 year old would joke about. This “Bobby” guy needs to get a life, really.

Can this…’FSM’ can give you everlasting life? I think NOT!! I will be praying for you all ( you *really* need it)
-pgh

185 Responses to “Cuss me out, I could care less”

Pages: « 1 2 3 [4] Show All

  1. 151 - Zinc Alloy - Jan 26th, 2009

    #147, Shrexes, that was a wonderful post and a pleasure to read.

    You have surely been touched.

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  2. 152 - lover of the bill of rights - Jan 26th, 2009

    He must not have noticed that we’re mostly not th eones who do the swearing in this section.

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  3. 153 - The fish has feet - Jan 29th, 2009

    I have no reason to “cuss” you out…but please please please dont pray for me.

    Thanks!

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  4. 154 - Zack - Jan 31st, 2009

    this is just depressing. where in the damned christian bible does it say god can give u ever lasting life for one thing? i dont think anyone has ever seen somoene walk around for over 120 some years >.> and HOW do you know hes real? Have you seen him? Have you hung out with him? NO!i dont think so. Do you people have any proof why god is an indefinent form? If he is an indefinent form then how could he have the power to make the universe? Plus in the bible it says that in heaven you have no wants u just want to pray to god, then why would money be so important to priests??? And if god has no need for money why would he forgive your sins just for paying the church? freaking ignorence

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  5. 155 - Arve - Feb 1st, 2009

    And… Why WOULD anyone want to live forever, anyway? I don’t think it’d be much fun to be decrepit for a century or two…

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  6. 156 - Grace Murphy - Feb 2nd, 2009

    You’re gonna PRAY for the people you just insulted? Look at me, I am not Pastaferian and I’m standing up for them! What do you have against other religions!

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  7. 157 - MAN - Feb 3rd, 2009

    YES. COWS ARE IMMORTAL. WERE YOU UNAWARE?

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

  8. 158 - Michael - Feb 8th, 2009

    “Can this…’FSM’ can give you everlasting life?”

    Yes. It’s called heaven. We have a beer volcano and a stripper factory! :D!

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 0

  9. 159 - noodle believer - Feb 11th, 2009

    keep the faith brothers!!!!!!!!!!!!

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  10. 160 - Jonny K - Feb 19th, 2009

    1) You mean to say, “I couldn’t care less”. Sorry, just a pet peeve.

    2)”Can this…’FSM’ can give you everlasting life? I think NOT!! ”

    I now direct your attention to the historical fact that every christian that was born between the years 1 and 1800 is now dead. However there were NO reported pastafarian deaths during that period.

    I’m no spaghetti worshipper myself, but the FSM seems to be getting better results.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 0

  11. 161 - LULZ - Mar 6th, 2009

    “Can this…’FSM’ can give you everlasting life? I think NOT!!”

    Very dynamic phrasing. Putting the adverb after the verb is immensely clever and nobody, not even superheroes, have ever thought of it.

    Grammar praise aside, I must say that I doubt many things can give you eternal life. Neither would I want it. I can’t imagine having to put up with invisible bearded men for centuries, not to mention having to sing praise or whatev.

    Plus, don’t you get it to begin with? The commies, homos, and Muslims all go to hell forever, right? So they get eternal life anyway.

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  12. 162 - meow - Mar 6th, 2009

    This website confuses me…Is this religion serious, or did someone make it up for fun? Either way, I don’t really believe in any religion. When christians say “My god exists,” well no it doesnt, christianity is just based off the ancient egyptian religion which focused on worshipping the sun. Humans just have natural tendencies to believe and follow in something they think is right, and they need someone to tell them not to do bad stuff, or to “commit sin.” I’m not saying believing in a religion is bad, I’m just saying that there are better ways to live your life than to have it controlled by a religion.

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  13. 163 - sexypyrate - Mar 12th, 2009

    asinine comments like yours piss me off, I will Pray to Joe Peschi for you.
    The FSM has not touched you, and so you are lost.
    RAMEN, sauce be with you.

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  14. 164 - sexypyrate - Mar 12th, 2009

    The FSM gives us Strippers, a Beer Volcano and Pirate Ship!
    By the by, eternal life would be a curse, just ask Lestat.
    RAMEN

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  15. 165 - mr. Trinborg - Mar 12th, 2009

    GOD DAMNIT! STOP PRAYING FOR ME WILL YOU!

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

  16. 166 - plumberbob - Mar 14th, 2009

    pgh,
    I had put this post on another thread, but I see that you also need it here.
    If there’s to be any praying here, let’s let it be for the poor, whom you won’t clothe, and the hungry, whom you won’t feed, and the sick, whom you won’t insure, presumably because of the astronomical rent on your megachurch.

    I’ll add here some links to some interesting reading that I’ve found:

    http://news.yahoo.com/s/csm/20090310/cm_csm/yspencer

    This is an opinion piece from the Christian Science Moniter. Next is the Blog from which it was taken:

    http://www.internetmonk.com/archive/imonk-101-why-do-they-hate-us#more-2915

    Next is a Scientific American Article on the economics of classic piracy:

    http://www.sciam.com/article.cfm?id=pirates-rational-choice&SID=mail&sc=emailfriend

    My favorite, and one that I’ve pushed before is a study of the hate mailers on this site:

    http://home.cc.umanitoba.ca/~altemey/

    RAmen

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  17. 167 - bowchikawowwow - Mar 15th, 2009

    “Can this…’FSM’ can give you everlasting life? I think NOT!! I will be praying for you all ( you *really* need it)”

    Do you honestly believe that this is a real religion? Please, get out Webster’s and look up the word “satire”!

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  18. 168 - FSM > Jesus - Mar 16th, 2009

    Another case of a do-gooder christian complaining that their invisible friend is better than ours… You need to get out more, if all you have to do if complain abot invisible meatballs on a satirical website. Please have fun in your everlasting life of stale beer and strippers with STD’s

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  19. 169 - Red Handed Jill - Mar 16th, 2009

    Ummm…bowchikawowwow? We have looked up the definition of “Satire”. Apparently you are not the one getting it – dumbass.

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  20. 170 - Kristen - Mar 19th, 2009

    “Cuss me out, I could care less.”

    *bangs head against desk*

    I could care less.

    I *could* care less?

    You could care less? You could not care less?

    Seriously – this is one phrase that needs to get stricken from the english language. NO ONE gets it right.

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  21. 171 - Kristen - Mar 19th, 2009

    “Cuss me out, I could care less.”

    *bangs head against desk*

    I could care less.

    I *could* care less?

    You could care less? You could not care less?

    Seriously – this is one phrase that needs to get stricken from the english language. NO ONE gets it right.

    Please refer to Wikipedia: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wikipedia:Reference_desk/Language/FAQs

    “Could or couldn’t care less?

    This is an issue to which logic is the answer:

    * I could care less means “I do care somewhat”, since one can only care less if already caring
    * I couldn’t care less means “I don’t care at all”, since one cannot care less if not caring

    Evidently, if you mean to say “I don’t care at all”, the latter term, I couldn’t care less, is the one to use. The matter changes slightly in American English, where both colloquialisms are used interchangably to mean “I don’t care at all”,[1] with “I could care less” meaning “I could hardly care less”.[2].”

    Thank you.

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  22. 172 - Woof :D - Apr 4th, 2009

    @ Number 162/Meow; That is one of the most inteligent things I’ve read in a hell-of-a long time~ “Humans just have natural tendencies to believe and follow in something they think is right, and they need someone to tell them not to do bad stuff, or to “commit sin.” I’m not saying believing in a religion is bad, I’m just saying that there are better ways to live your life than to have it controlled by a religion.”

    My exact veiw on life, thank you! :) I consider myself pastafarian but I do that knowing of the satire involved (I love it); thus, being pastafairan means living a life you just described.

    Meow. Feel pleased that your words just defined what I have been trying to put into words myself for years~

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  23. 173 - adam - Apr 26th, 2009

    yes he can. He has a heaven too. prove that ours is any less real than yours.

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  24. 174 - The lök - Apr 30th, 2009

    You’ll be praying for us? Let us reciprocate:

    We’ll be thinking for you.

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  25. 175 - lucus - Apr 30th, 2009

    “You could care less? You could not care less?

    Seriously – this is one phrase that needs to get stricken from the english language. NO ONE gets it right.”

    Shut up. I could care less about grammar, if you don’t like it than you should of not came here.

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  26. 176 - Duke - May 12th, 2009

    @ Lucus – It’s painfully obvious you do not care about grammar, but telling other people not to read because you don’t care about properly formed sentences is ridiculous.

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  27. 177 - Joe Wilson - May 13th, 2009

    If you understood the actual idea of god, you might have gleaned that it is not a “someone.” God is supposed to be the embodiment of te creative force, the thing that makes every person different. The best definition I have heard for God is “is-ness.”

    God tells Moses to go to the people and call God by the name “I am.” I wouldn’t believe in a thing that was afraid to tell it’s followers its name.

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  28. 178 - I’ll call myself… - May 13th, 2009

    ‘NOTHER QUESTION!
    How can you prove that your God is real? I notice that all the people who can verify this are dead.

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  29. 179 - Garrick McElroy - May 28th, 2009

    Listen, I notice that you started out your hate-mail, “Cuss me out. I don’t care.” I’ve never ACTUALLY seen a Pastafarian really cuss someone out on here. Only Christians do that.

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  30. 180 - Garrick McElroy - Jun 22nd, 2009

    It seems you have us confused with your Christian pals. We try not to curse people out. We’re good people.

    Here’s to hoping His Noodly Appendage touches you,
    -GM
    RAmen

    If you have any questions about or just want to discuss the FSM, you can reach me at kanastag@comcast.net

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

  31. 181 - Garrick McElroy - Jun 22nd, 2009

    Didn’t notice, I already said that, disregard my last post. Lulz…

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  32. 182 - JerseyStrong - Jun 23rd, 2009

    Har har… christians are funny. word.

    RAmen.
    Dave

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  33. 183 - Ode to a Grasshopper - Jul 8th, 2009

    Everlasting life huh? I’m pretty sure Christians die too ya know. But please feel free to prove me wrong and show me a still-living Christian who’s reached, say, 200.
    As for life after death, the FSM promises that too, with beer and strippers.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

  34. 184 - Jack Shephard - Sep 12th, 2009

    See how much your so called “Knowing” pays off when you die!!!

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

  35. 185 - Jimmy-Bob - Oct 1st, 2009

    How do you know that your god is real ??
    Seriously, I’m asking. I want to hear your evidence.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

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An elaborate spoof on Intelligent Design, The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster is neither too elaborate nor too spoofy to succeed in nailing the fallacies of ID. It's even wackier than Jonathan Swift's suggestion that the Irish eat their children as a way to keep them from being a burden, and it may offend just as many people, but Henderson, described elsewhere as a 25-year-old "out-of-work physics major," puts satire to the same serious use that Swift did. Oh, yes, it is very funny. -- Scientific American




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