I THINK U GUYS ARE DECIEVED BY THE DEVIL AND HIS SPIRITS. MAKING THIS STUFF UP IS MERELY CREATED BY SOMEONE AND ITS AN EXCUSE TO HAVE AND DO WHAT UWANNA DO AND I FEEL THAT SOME SPAGHETTI MONSTER CANT EXPLAIN THE UNEXPLAINED AND CANT HELP ME SPIRITUALLY AS I COME TO REALIZE CHRIST HELPS ME MENTALLY AND PHYSICALLY AND I HAVE EVIDENCE THAT THIS IS TRUE AND TRY HIM CHRIST IS REAL AND PERSONALLY THATS MY EVIDENCE. PEOPLE ITS ALL MADE UP THE SPAGHETTI MONSTER ISNT REAL
-kathleen
i think u guys are decieved by the devil
Published by Bobby Henderson December 16th, 2008 in Hate Mail (and concerned criticism). 549 Comments
549 Responses to “i think u guys are decieved by the devil”
@ 397 “Zinc Alloy”: i assume by Cheesus you’re talking about Jesus Christ. What, then, do you believe?
Are you an evolutionist who believes life randomly and chaotically formed out of gasses? Then tell me, where did the gas come from?
Or are you a pastafarian who believes that all life was created from the staple of italian foods? Then i’d say you’re a lost cause. Where is the “scientific evidence” for that case? The scientific community has been crying for that in the argument against God, thus “creationism”, but no pastafarian has come up with any concrete evidence for FSM’s case.
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Ha, Ha, jew jew bean, you fucking crazy bastard! jesus loves us even if its not mutual?… is it like a highschool crush or some shit? Does he sit in his parents’ basement and jerkoff to our yearbook pictures like a pathetic fucking loser? Does he get all upset when we go fuck a dirty stripper behind the beer volcano, then when the stripper fucks us over and leaves us, is he there with his shoulder for us to cry on? When deep down he knows we are just going to fuck another stripper and repeat the pattern again? And yet he still hangs around you say?… What a fucking tool!
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LOL @ WHEAT
The following is from Daniel 4:11
“The tree grew and became strong;Its height reached to the heavens,And it could be seen to the ends of all the earth.”
Someone please tell me how a tree can be seen “to the ends of all the earth”? Makes no sense…. unless you believe the world is flat.
Here is another from Matthew 4:8
“Again, the devil took Him up on an exceedingly high mountain, and showed Him all the kingdoms of the world and their glory.”
Yep. The earth is flat. I know this to be true cause the bible tells me so.
Long live the FSM.
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How DARE you tell other religions that they’ve been fooled by the devil, you bitch! How can you go to sleep at night, knowing you’re such a bigoted idiot?
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hey, lets use some reasoning skills. Lets utilize this logic you complain Christians don’t use!
CRUSADES:
the general population couldn’t read/write… only well educated (and largely corrupt) could understand the Bible.
this corrupt church head promised forgiveness of sin and guaranteed heaven if you conquer muslims.
ignorant of what the Bible ACTUALLY teaches, multitudes of catholics bought into this.
THE INTERESTING PART:
the printing press was invented (at least introduced to europe) and manufactured in the mid 1400’s
therefore Bibles were produced by the hundreds
and what happened a little later in that century? come on all you history buffs who bullied little wheat… what happened?
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@post 401
So remind us all where your god came from again please haha fail
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how ignorant Cape Buffalo is… mutual love is when A loves B and B loves A back… what you’re talking about is lust, what with the jacking off and such… you refer to a sexual love, i refer to a personal love. haha, you are wrong.
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blah blah… i touch myself while thinking of pasta…
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@ – TheFewTheProudTheMarinara #325,
Thank you. I’ve been afraid that nobody had seen the book that describes the Fundies so well as that one does. http://home.cc.umanitoba.ca/~altemey/ . Here’s the link for it again in case somebody else would like it.
@ – Alex #345,
You’ve referred to a verse from Hosea completely out of context, and I would like to have a discussion with you about it. Would you please tell me what the politics of the time was when Hosea was preaching; who was his audience; what were the kingdoms involved; what was the personal situation of Hosea when he was called? And since by your statement, this is,”Gods(sic) very own word”, we had best have this discussion in Hebrew.
@ – wheat #386,
Since wheat has said that he was dropping out of the discussion, I’m disappointed that he may not come back for this source that he specifically asked for, but I’ll reference it here for him and for anybody else who would like a well researched and copiously footnoted book. “A History of God” by Karen Armstrong. In my post #356, I listed a very few authors for Alex to look up and read, and I should say that Armstrong’s book would suffice for him too.
RAmen
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408-Copyright violation is a serious sin. You’ll go to hell for using my name without permission. I’m going to love myself while thinking of your lord.
401, the Tacky Glue-you’re a lost cause. Do you think eveything was started by a bearded man in the sky? Where did he come from? It really takes the cake on your part to talk about evidence, while you’re happy to deny biology without a clue of what it actually says. Oh by the way according to your logic, is the man in the sky responsible for all the gas? Yeah, he is so full of gas.
jew jew bean, you’re a lot stupider than I thought. It’s really ridiculous for a troll like wheat to say they were scared away. What happened after bibles became widely available? Why, the conquistadores arrived in the Americas and mass murdered the natives. And in Europe there were the hundred year wars, protestant reformation, burnings at stake…not a pretty picture.
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401 – February 2nd, 2009 at – The Original Tacky Glue Said in part:
@ 397 “Zinc Alloy”: i assume by Cheesus you’re talking about Jesus Christ. What, then, do you believe?
Are you an evolutionist who believes life randomly and chaotically formed out of gasses? Then tell me, where did the gas come from?
Or are you a pastafarian who believes that all life was created from the staple of italian foods?
Correction needed here. Pastafarians do not believe that life was created from spaghetti. Life was created by the FSM. He created us in his image, but we are not made of the same substance. Our proof is in the Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. Where is the proof of your god’s creation of life? Could it be in a book?
RAmen
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I wanted to throw up reading this. It was difficult to find any one point out of Kathleen’s rant, so I will go with the standard approach by dissecting it and tearing apart each sentance.
I don’t think we are decieved by your devil or his spirits, seeing how he doesn’t exist. If anything, Kathleen, we are decieved by His oh-so-yummy noodliness.
Your next sentance is about twelve normal sentances, smashed together.
Your grammar makes it hard to understand, but I think an appropriate response would be: Your religion was made up too. By some hippie Jewish carpenter and his cult.
It’s an excuse to do what we want to do… That’s bad?
A (the) Flying Spaghetti Monster can easily explain the unexplainable. Read the book.
I don’t give a flying flurgle whether He helps you spiritually. That’s up to you. You think a cosmic zombie that got himself killed is something to rely on? Be my guest. Also, how the hells does Jesus help you physically? Those wafers aren’t much in terms of nutrition.
I’m pretty sure you’re trying to say that you have evidence that Christianity is true because you said so. Kathleen, your opinion does not count as verifiable, oberservable scientific evidence. Go back to school.
Yours is made up too, and thus our god is just as real as yours.
P1. The Flying Spaghetti Monster is a being with every perfection.
P2. Existance is a perfection.
C. The Flying Spaghetti Monster exists.
That’s called logic.
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@jew jew bean
I think the answer to your aiming for is the reformation, but I fail to see what is so great about an event that spawned several centuries of war and witch hunts.
-Sarah
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@ jew jew bean (405)
Another question: are you implying that the crusades happened because most Christians were incapable of understanding God’s word? Then why, in the name of the FSM, did your omnipotent, benevolent god deliver his word in a format that the majority of his people could not understand? And for that matter, why did he wait so damn long to bestow the miracle of the printing press upon the word (you are giving him credit for that, right? I mean, he didn’t wait around watching watching corrupt church officials lead massacres in his name until Gutenburg conveniently solved his little problem when he could just have easily sent a few angels down and straightened everybody out – or did he?) Face it, if your God exists and is capable of doing the the things you give him credit for, he must be a real dick to have allowed things to progress as they have. Thankfully, the FSM has several good excuses for all that stuff: he drinks, he has a sense of humor, and he is capable of mistakes (which gives him compassion for us when we make mistakes). RAmen.
-Sarah
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Devil? There is no devil. Nor is there an Anti-pasta to be a foe for our beloved FSM!
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BLASTFAMY! I tell you BLASTFAMY!
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Seize her!
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Seize her! Quickly before she gets to the children.
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The Original Tacky Glue.
I have no evidence for the existence of the FSM. Which would be about the same amount of evidence you have for your god.
No. Evidence. Whatsoever.
Keep smiling.;-)
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littleanimal : science has proven there are at least what? 13 different dimensions? or more? it’s not really possible to reach those dimensions yet, right? so if the creator exists on a different dimension, then how can we fathom His beginning.
As for this spaghetti foolishness (i’m calling it what it is) human history outlasts that of manufactured grain products… your “god” is a creation… as are you… my God is THE creator… haha you fail
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so, tell me. By taping down the Caps key, were you trying to make it look like you were screaming?
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The devil wears Prego…
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What happened a little later in that century? The Spanish Inquisition was founded, that’s what. I’m not sure what point you tried to make here, but it wasn’t made very well.
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Ah, the poor, uneducated masses. Oh great FSM, they do not yet realize your true power.
WHY IN THE NAME OF OUR NOODLY LORD DO PEOPLE TAKE THIS SO SERIOUSLY?
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Why, in the name of our Great Noodly Lord, to people take this so seriously. Freakin’ Jesus-heads need to stop it.
RAmen
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Fair enough jew jew bean – I owe you a Coke
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Im still an atheist though
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But not to worry as jew jew bean wants to take his place and judging by his tone he’s confident he has a better idea of what reasoning really is.
…blah blah ‘therefore god exists’? is that what you’re saying?
Nobody could read or write, that’s why they sent out the crusades to beat everyone into believing. And kill anyone who did not. There’s only one outcome of that, really.
Lots of stuff happened after the invention of the printing press, a fact which you plagiarised from another recent thread on this site. What’s that got to do with anything? And after? Are you referring to the Age of Reason? For which the likes of Descartes, Galileo and Newton were responsible? You’re being vague and open to interpretation – just like a certain book. Make some good points and we’ll discuss them seriously, otherwise you and wheat can go and light a candle or whatever.
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And for all you teenage girls recently leaving hatemail, I wrote this on my mobile phone, so if I can write properly you should also be able to.
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Tacky glue: human history outlasts myths and gods. Your god was made up by middle eastern sheep herders. Hehe you fail.
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Your god did not create us because it does not exist.
As all sane people know, man created god in his image.
Get over your ego, you’re really not that special.
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@ – The Original Tacky Glue #420,
We pastafarians agree with you that there is no evidence for the existence of the FSM. We also assert that there is equally no evidence for your diety. Please present contrary evidence soon.
RAmen
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@ – jew jew bean #405,
Since you seem to be setting yourself up as one who “understands” the Bible, lets start with a discussion of the structure and authorship of the material. 1) why are there two independent creation stories in there? Why are there two independent Noah & The Flood stories? That will be just a beginning. When we discuss those questions rationally, then we can move on.
In the meantime, to answer your question, there was a rash of mistranslations, all of which have very serious flaws that can only be corrected by going back to the original Hebrew. Are you ready?
RAmen
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news-flash, retards! its not copyright infringement if someone reposts someone elses rant… your rants are not under any copyright laws.
I’m gonna close my eyes and talk to God about you… not the old bearded man in the sky, but the real God that we can’t fathom because He resides in “another dimension” (is it ‘plagiarism’ if i use quotes, littleanimal?)
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… close, Jesus haters… what I was getting at is that once the general public had access to the scriptures in a language they could understand, the “big bad church” couldn’t deceive them anymore, and there was the “reformation” like you said… but as for the “massacring of the indians”, people still took the Bible out of context… all these examples throughout history of horrible things Christians do, their actions aren’t Biblical, the Bible didn’t teach them to conquer people, it says to love… yes, people suck, you know that and I know that, but give me an example of someone following the Bible to a ‘T’ and still being a horrible person… anyone? (i understand that this is a general question)
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When resting your hands on the home-row keys, your little finger is less then two centimeters away from your Caps lock key. That’s how far you would have had to move your little finger to look semi-articulate: Less than two centimeters.
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comment count about wheat: 49
comments wheat has posted: 10
thats almost 5:1… you guys need jobs or something.
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Hey wheat, nice to see you can still do some trolling. I was afraid you’d had a stroke.
jew jew Bean, you never disappoint. You missed your calling to be a clown. You are looking for people who take the bible seriously and are bad guys? Well that’s easy: James Dobson, Pat Robertson, Ken Ham…all the way back to Marthin Luther and John Calvin. By the way how many people were burned at the stake during the reformation? You should thank FSM you weren’t around when “bibles became available”. You might well end up on the wrong side.
Oh, and of course, you are a better christian than conquistadores and inquisitors- because a faith can never be blamed for what it’s followers do, unless something is missed in translation.
Right.
Now that I have met your challenges, will you show me a bad guy that takes the gospel of the FSM seriously?
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@jew jew bean (435)
You didn’t answer any of my questions even though I answered yours; I will infer from that that you don’t have any answers, but just in case, I’ll ask you one more question based on your most recent post. Can you name any single person who follows every single thing in the bible? I was under the impression that that is impossible because Bible contradicts itself, but if you can prove me wrong, by all means, do so (that is the scientific process, after all). However, until you do, I will continue to use the definition of Christian that I have been using all along (and by the way, I’ve had confirmed by a number of Christians, some of them very nice, some of them not) as someone who believes that Jesus Christ is the son of god and has accepted him as their personal savior. Using that definition, the witch hunters, Spanish inquisitors, and native-slaughtering missionaries mentioned earlier all fall under the definition of “Christian”; so, really, what was your point again? RAmen.
-Sarah
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2 options:
1. She is so stupid she left her CAPS-lock button on and didn’t proofread
2. She is so stupid she thinks this will make more of an impression
3. She is really angry (although I don’t know why. Our Holy Noodlyness never hurt anybody)
RAmen people
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434 – February 5th, 2009 at – Ivan Says:
news-flash, retards! its not copyright infringement if someone reposts someone elses rant… your rants are not under any copyright laws.
I’m gonna close my eyes and talk to God about you… not the old bearded man in the sky, but the real God that we can’t fathom because He resides in “another dimension” (is it ‘plagiarism’ if i use quotes, littleanimal?)
No, why? Did you have a point you wanted to share or are you just lonely?
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Another fine example of how not to use the caps lock key.
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Jew Jew Bean
Some one who knows the Bible to a T and is still a horrible person? Yes there is at least one I know of: Pastor Fred Phelps of the Westboro Baptist Church, Google it. His and his church’s actions speak for themselves.
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Well I think that YOU’RE deceived by the devil.
How’s that for a snafu?
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As sad as I am to point out the obvious. Pirates know better how to spell and place in the appropriate punctuation. The FSM has blessed his children with this much intelligence, it is unfortunate the same could not have been done for you.
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And as you speak to God, I shall converse with the Flying Spaghetti Monster, for he is the true merciful deity of this world.
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@ jew jew #435 –
“give me an example of someone following the Bible to a ‘T’ and still being a horrible person… ”
Hmmm, let’s see… The bible, being the word of god and describing his acts… killing babies, asking a man to sacrifice his son as a proof of faith, maiming youngsters because they mocked a bald man, etc., etc., ad nauseum. Seems to me that god is a horrible personage unto himself.
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ok, first…ever heard of a period?( . )? no? well you should retake grade school english. and no shit its not real! the FSM is SATIRICAL, meaning that it is a parody of god. but personally, ever since i converted to pastsfarianism, i have more unwordly encounters than ever before. so you know what? yea, the FSM i damn straight real, just wait…sooner or laterhe decide to touch you with Hid Noodly Appendage
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I really don’t understand this, the Pastafarians generally seem to be very rational, their text presents all of their beliefs and is very open to all other peoples. The (Eith I’d Really rather you didn’ts” are extremely intellegently thought out and express what all people truely want in this world.
The christians (and to an extent i am one) only seem able to shoot the Pastafarians down over subjects that they themselves fail at. They say : Pastafarians have no evidence their God exists, niether do we. They say Pastafarians are just a waste of time and space in a serious issue, actually, the serious issue here is teaching religon in schools, Pastafarianism was only designed to show the ridiculosity (yeah i know it isn’t a word) of Intelligent design.
Oh, and to all the people who find pastafarians to be “retarted”, the only reason they continue posting in these forums is because you keep provoking them.
-The Believer
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One other thing, you say a faith cannot be found responsible for its poeples actions, but what about all the Christian Americans that refuse to talk to Islamic people because a group of extremist, now denounced, Islamic radicals decided they din’t like the west being more powerful than them.
Really, think before you speak, the world would be a better place if everyone thought about how their words would effect other people instead of talking for the sake of trying to prove your point.
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