I THINK U GUYS ARE DECIEVED BY THE DEVIL AND HIS SPIRITS. MAKING THIS STUFF UP IS MERELY CREATED BY SOMEONE AND ITS AN EXCUSE TO HAVE AND DO WHAT UWANNA DO AND I FEEL THAT SOME SPAGHETTI MONSTER CANT EXPLAIN THE UNEXPLAINED AND CANT HELP ME SPIRITUALLY AS I COME TO REALIZE CHRIST HELPS ME MENTALLY AND PHYSICALLY AND I HAVE EVIDENCE THAT THIS IS TRUE AND TRY HIM CHRIST IS REAL AND PERSONALLY THATS MY EVIDENCE. PEOPLE ITS ALL MADE UP THE SPAGHETTI MONSTER ISNT REAL
-kathleen
i think u guys are decieved by the devil
Published by Bobby Henderson December 16th, 2008 in Hate Mail (and concerned criticism). 549 Comments
549 Responses to “i think u guys are decieved by the devil”
Funny.. She capitalized everything but her name.
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Hahaha, its amazing how reversible bible thumper logic is. I personally think Rob is making all of this hatemail to keep us entertained. Kudos Rob, but you need to challenge us more. We need full-blown theologians to debate, not five seven year old girls who can’t spell.
Then again if you aren’t making these, then it just goes to show that at least the theologians can grasp the idea of satire and don’t bother to shoot off their hate-mail to us. BRING ON TEH LOWST DREGGS OF TEH BIBLE THUMPR BARRL!!!
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Woha,
Ok first learn that Caps Lock isn’t the only key on the keyboard
Second as far as I know I am not decieved (whatever that means) by the devil.
And to me the FSM can explain a lot more than your Christ.
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I hope this ‘christ’ you speak of is helping you mentally. Because from the looks of things you mind is so unstable and defunctional that you could be a danger to yourself, others and the universal flow of knowledge and wisdom brought on by His Noodlyness.
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At first I thought this was some sort of joke, but when I realise these idiots are serious I get scared.
May you be deeply touched by his noodly appendage.
RAmen
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Hi guys,
It’s weird how a lot of the hardcore Christians can’t spell or have the slightest grasp of grammar.
Long live FSM
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@Pastafarian Jordan
Here’s my exhaustive checklist I wrote while I should have been working:
x Didn’t read the opening letter
x Read the opening letter but still didn’t get it
x Never read the bible
x Thinks science is a religion
x Provides links to christian forums as evidence of god
x Quotes the bible as evidence
x Asks for proof of The Flying Spaghetti Monster
x Caps Lock stuck on
x Found Caps Lock to sign off
x All one sentence
x No apostrophes
x Sexual remark towards end of mail indicating frustration or suppressed memories
x I before E, except after C, excluding “neighbours”, “weird” and others
x Excessive apostrophes
x Text message style homophone substitution
x Use of “retard”, “dumbass” or “douche”
x Inadvertent insult of other races, religions, homosexuals and gingers
x Invented new words or terms of abuse
x Substitutes “you” with “thou” and “thee”
x Like yoda, they type
x Contains the new buzzword, “meme”
x Excessive post-script comments (PS, PPS, PPPS and so on)
x Your and you’re errors
x Excessive hyphenation to portray an air of intellect
x Capitalisation of His Holiest words
x Capitalisation Of Any Words
x Spelling error in title
x Believes the end is nigh
x Incomprehensible word even the spellcheck failed to solve
x There, their and they’re errors
x Incorrect spelling of “christian”, “deity”, “spaghetti” or “religion”
x Spelled “grammar”, “grammer”
x Damned us to hell for eternity
x Points out edible god forgetting about bread and wine
x Under fifteen yet willing to die
Thanks to all posters for the inspiration.
Especially Noah.
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You know these messages are fake, right?
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Kathy – how could ANYONE explain the unexplainable? Then it wouldn’t be unexplainable, now would it?? It’s logic like this that makes the weak of mind just throw up their hands and say, “Tell me what to think! I’ll defend it to the death, no matter how absurd it is!”
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“Blessed are they who were persecuted for the sake of righteousness for theirs is the kingdom of Heaven.”
You did the right thing Kathy!
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please reply to my post, i would very much like to hear your comments.
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#260
“Blessed are they who were persecuted for the sake of righteousness for theirs is the kingdom of Heaven.”—Funny, very funny but not applicable in Kathleen’s case. She came to this site spewing her crap to us. Now in our case yes we are blessed because unlike Christ there is proof of the almighty FSM.
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you all are stupid and need to get a life lol this stuff is hilarious so what you all worship spaghetti and dont eat it haha lololol you idiots
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@ #259 TheFewTheProudTheMarinara,
I agree, and I don’t know when this foolishness started, but we must remember that it was the Church father, Tertulian, who said,”I believe, because it is absurd”. With this kind of statement from the earliest leaders of the Christian faith what can we expect from their followers now?
Check-out: http://www.theauthoritarians.com for a good and free study of these people.
RAmen
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Radicalchick the only idiot is you since you can’t read the about page then you would know what this is all about. Typical moron!
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explain to me, what do you think is a life?
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Phew!!! I ran out of breath from that run on sentence! Maybe god should teach his followers how to spell and punctuate.
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Perhaps if god were to show them how to study grammar instead of screaming nonsense, they would fare better.
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MissyDerail, for quite a long time, God didn’t even want his followers learning to read. I don’t think he’s too displeased with Kathleen’s effort.
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i dont get it. there is just as much evidance of the spaghetti monst as god. and i do belive that it was the people from the church *cathlic* who put galolaio in prision for his life for beliving that the earth was round. and now they say that they are sorry, im sorry but this makes more sens than anything the church will ever say because the flying spaghetti monster dosnt change his story. but the church does
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Yet another fine example of why we don’t take you people seriously.
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Isa 1:28 And the destruction of the transgressors and of the sinners shall be together, and they that forsake the LORD shall be consumed.
Isa 1:29 For you shall be ashamed of the sacred oaks which you have desired, and you shall be embarrassed for the gardens that you have chosen.
Isa 1:30 For you shall be as an oak whose leaf fades, and as a garden that has no water.
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or this person is an actual idiot or someone’s trying to give us a reason to laugh…
either way; it was entertaining :)
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Isiah, Post 271:
Why?! We don’t come on your websites asking you to come to the FSM and be touched by His Noodly Appendage. Why do you continue to come here and post about how sinners need god…for that matter, all of you Christians who do that…WHY?!
The verse about being embarassed for which garden is chosen is clearly about where you pick tomatoes, onions and peppers for the Holy Sauce. I find it annoying and really upsetting that you continue your preaching here when clearly you have NO IDEA what the phrases of the bible you are posting really mean.
Choose Your Sauce Wisely,
Meisha
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Thanks for that Isiah.
…And spotteth twice they the camels before the third hour, and so, the Midianites went forth to Ram Gilead in Kadesh Bilgemath, by Shor Ethra Regalion, to the house of Gash-Bil-Bethuel-Bazda, he who brought the butter dish to Balshazar and the tent peg to the house of Rashomon, and there slew they the goats, yea, and placed they the bits in little pots. Here endeth the lesson.
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@ 271,
I’m really trying to figure out what you are saying?
“Isa 1:28 And the destruction of the transgressors and of the sinners shall be together, and they that forsake the LORD shall be consumed.” OK! You are saying that God is going to eat us if we sin or if I become a transgressor? Why would God want to eat me? Surely, he could CREATE a better meal than humans. And is a transgressor like a transvestite or something? For instance, if sometimes I dress up like a cheerleader for my girlfriend, will I go to Hell?
“Isa 1:29 For you shall be ashamed of the sacred oaks which you have desired, and you shall be embarrassed for the gardens that you have chosen.” I have heard rumors of mountain folk who might take a dollop of axle grease and a woodpecker hole in a tree to pleasure themselves, but I know you can’t get splinters from sheep! OK, that didn’t come out right-DOH! Did it again! I could understand why God wouldn’t want you to get a tree knocked up, but I don’t see why the gardens would be jealous?
“Isa 1:30 For you shall be as an oak whose leaf fades, and as a garden that has no water.” This makes absolutely no sense what so ever! The use of the words “oak” and “leaf” obviously mean the oak leaf used to cover up the “privates”. A garden without water is dry. Do you mean that 3000 years ago, God saw that vaginal dryness would become a problem for us modern people? Maybe he meant the womenfolk, because if a man is wet up in the crotch area, he should see his proctologist, or stop looking at the girlie mags.
See how confusing Christianity can be?
RAmen!
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Isaiah-for you there shall be stale beer and diseased strippers.
And whomever spew out the gibberish you were quoting was on a bad acid trip.
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I think that this lady has no right busting a religon that has the possibility to be as real as hers. This is just a just ignorant remark from someone who thinks that her religon is the best and no one can say otherwise
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Hello.
Santa GiaNt of Greek-orthodox church of flying spaghetti monster is here to tell you about the dark power of Christians who promote hooliganism ;(
Here is my video about that
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OntRWGBqyQA
And remember this happened in Jerusalem last months, between christian hooligans.
Greek-Orthodox Christians VS Armenian-Orthodox Christians.
Christians are behind of any trouble in the planet! They control anything! Christians! Not Jews!
Regards.
FSM bless you all.
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Dark Christianity power made me forget forget give you the hooligan fight between Greek-orthodox Christian hooligans, and Armenian orthodox Christian hooligans.
Here is the link http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hh16J20ujHA
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You have real, absolute and repeatable evidence (as opposed to wishful thinking)… by all means, let’s see it! I’ll believe anything if it has- I repeat- real, independently verifiable evidence. If your evidence is merely “feeling” God’s presence in your heart, that is actually the exact opposite of evidence.
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Isaiah
Itrium 7:24 For I beeseech you, mock not the lagana for the LARD with consume thee.
Itrium 7:25 Whenceforth the multitude shook the puttanesca from the tree of life and the fruit fell upon their heads squashing them all.
Itrium 7:26 For as the puttanesca falls so musteth not the twat waffle on about bollocks.
What more can I say…
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Ha ha….religious people are idiots! Why is it that you can all believe in your story books, but blow up the first second someone chooses to criticize them? Sounds like a SERIOUS case of insecurity to me. Get a life people, seriously.
RAPTOR JESUS AND FSM RULE!
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So this is what happens when I’m gone for a month. Wow!
@ Neal: Dude! You really have issues, eh? Let me guess, you cheered for the Spanish Inquisitors. I hate to break it to you but you are completely wasting your time trying to convince us here in the existence of your god. Especially after the way you describe him/her/it. “Believe or be crushed!” Nice. By your criteria god is hateful and spiteful. So tell me, you call this love? Kind of explains a lot about christians as a whole. People who live in abject fear their whole lives tend to be neurotically paranoid and are never satisfied until they have convinced everyone else that their delusion is real. Sound like anyone you know?
I really just love the way christians; nice peaceful people; want to brutally destroy anybody who doesn’t think the way they do and then profess to be accommodating to everybody. I can’t wait for the day when all of this religious bullshit is finally removed from our planet like the plague that it is.
kathleen. I hope you read this post as it also heavily applies to you and all the other brainwashed nutcases that follow your sick religion.
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Happy new year to you too disgruntled Christian who-is-helped-mentally-by-jesus
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Gee. Why is it that every time somebody challenges Christian faith in any way, along comes somebody using the Bible to slap their faces? The Bible contains some historical truths, but it is just that, a book, full of paper and ink. Moreover, a book that was written without women’s vote or consent. The Bible is a misogynistic and homophobic book that only preaches hatred towards those that are not Christians. Anyone that can read and that have, indeed, read the Bible without the guidance of an elder, reverend or pedophile Catholic father can know and understand this. Besides, this whole affair is about religion vs science. Was it not JC who said “give unto Caesar what is Caesar’s and to god what is god’s”? Religion (and therefore, intelligent design, has no place in a science class, for the existence of god CANNOT be proved under the scrutiny of the microscope or the Scientific Method. We live in an era of science, not in the Dark Ages anymore. Yet it looks like there are some that would have us go back to the times in which women were burned at the stake for running naked under the full moon.
RAmen!
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Um…Noah? What’s up with the “Infidels” crack? Who uses that word anymore but Achmed the Terrorizing Terrorist from the Jeff Dunham show? And you don’t have to capitalize the word You every time, you know? Just makes you look like a bigger dumbass – I know, hard to do, but still.
Have some pasta and beer. You’ll feel better. I promise.
RAmen
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in response to caleb
JC saying “give Caesar what is Caesars and to God what is God’s” isn’t really relevant in your argument… in context, He was saying to do what you gotta do on Earth (in their case at the time, pay taxes to Caesar) and pay respect to God and honor Him with your existence.
I don’t really see how the Bible can be called “misogynistic”, it pretty much instructs men to cherish their wife and protect her and his family… and as for the “homophobia”, if by that you mean declare that homosexuality is wrong, then yeah, I guess it’s “homophobic”…
“Anyone that can read and that have, indeed, read the Bible without the guidance of an elder, reverend or pedophile Catholic father can know and understand this.” … so going by that criteria, only atheists or Pastafarians can catch your drift? (hitting below the belt to the Catholics, by the way)
RAGE TIME: i’m sick and tired of dammned people looking down their noses at Christianity for the foolishness of sects and little pockets of christians throughout history that had some pretty fucked up rituals! yeah SOME christians screwed up, but that means hate the christian not the church! do you hate the U.S.A because we virtually wiped out the natives of this land? do you hate all men because every single day countless women get raped?
Intelligent design has it’s flaws, that’s why it’s still a theory. But for a religious faith to have as much credibility (however small) in the scientific community as intelligent design, it deserves a place right alongside atheistic evolution.
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IT”S AMEN YOU FOOLS! :)
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So your evidence for christ is that he’s real…im speechless.
‘SPAGHETTI MONSTER CANT EXPLAIN THE UNEXPLAINED’
-its unexplained for a reason,it cant be explained. And saying that “only god knows is not an explanation.
“PEOPLE ITS ALL MADE UP THE SPAGHETTI MONSTER ISNT REAL”
- your basing your beliefs from one book. God/s are made up. It isnt real.
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@Wheat, Post #205/206
There’s no helping you is there.
rAmen.
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@wheat: You do not understand. Intelligent design may be a theory but it is not a scientific theory. A scientific theory, by definition, is a construct which is testable and the results reproducible. A scientific “theory” is not a “theory” as the word is commonly used to describe any unproven belief. In science, a “theory” is an explanation of observed phenomena repeatedly shown to be explained by testing of the theory. In effect, a scientific theory is, after repeated validation by experiment and until shown to be false or in need of refinement, proven. In this sense, evolution has been “proven.” Intelligent design is ultimately unprovable by reproducible experiment. It is because intelligent design is not science — and not because it is untrue (we just do not know, nor does science attempt to explain, what “started it all”)– that it may not be taught as science. It may be taught as philosophy, or religion, but not science.
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@272
Every time a bible-basher quotes meaningless crap here in our church I’m going to do the same on a christian forum, spread the word of His Eternal Noodliness The Flying Spaghetti Monster and see how you folks like it. It should also attract more hate mail for our entertainment. You did this yourself.
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Hey, Ramen I’d love to talk you about religion. Your’s and mine. I wish I had a way of contacting you. If the owner of FSM site will do this, give this Ramen fellow my E-mail address and tell him to put the subject as RAMEN THE FSM. Hope I can talk with him\her.
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I agree with piratesmee, persoanlly I’m not a fans of evolution, and believe that soem sort of god probably exists.
But it can’t be taught as a science because its not a science, it would be like techign it as a math or as a language, that doesn’t mean it doesn’t deserve merit. it just means we want children to be taught properally. any person with half a brain can make their own choices as to religion or dis-religion, as for the people who cant, are they true followers? True disciples? or are they just following the mass and ignorant of everythign else? I have met some very intelligent christians who have honestly chosen their faiths even after fully underswtanding the alternatives.
We don’t ridicule beliefs, we ridicule fanatism, misguidance, and ignorance.
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Why is it that these people get more emotional about attacking our religion than we do about getting attacked? With the caps and the run on sentences that only barely make sense, it sounds like she’s gonna cry any second.
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Religion and its followers is just silly. So much of it is just such nonsense that I have to ask if someone is having a joke on people. I agrre that the commandments are a good idea but until every xtian follows them to the letter; and I mean every person; then the whole thing looks stupid. Before you bitch at us, clean up your own house. Stop murdering for example.
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What about that proton exelerator in sweeden. they pretty much proved the big bang…wheres your god now? And “the fact he exists is evidence”? what….the…fuck??? Ok, well i rule the world and everything that lives on it…my proof for this is that i rule the world, thats enought evidence for it to be true. well sence i rule the world, what i say goes, and i say……………………… VIVA LA PASTA!!!!!!!!!!
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And all this shit you say this “god” character can do…miricles, flood the earth, and bullshit like that, it seems like magic your talking about…wait a minute…magic isnt real, and its all about illusions, making people beleive that the magic is real when its obviously not.
Just because we dont know how or what created the earth, doesnt mean we wont know the truth later on. Science has gotten us so far in life, and has solved many of lifes mysterys, but we dont know everything…yet. just cuz we dont know the answer, doesnt mean we can fill in the blank with an invisible bearded man in the sky. you people think you know how we got hear. the truth is you dont, none of us do. thats why we have science to explain things we dont know.
Magic isnt science. So if “god” created the universe…how did he do it. Scientificly, how do his powers work? How did he create the earth and stars? Give me proof of that, and i’ll belive. and no, beliveing in something is not proof. So if i wer to tell you that this “god” character isnt real (which i have been doing) means that that is proof enough for everyone. you see i just gave proof he,she, it, whatever isnt real. that proof is that its because i belive that. so there u have proof right infront of you, so y do u still belive? oh thats right, 1, you are dumb enough to thing an invisible man is watching you, 2 you think belife is proof.
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All of the posters ridiculing the grammar and punctuation of the pro-ID posters are themselves guilty of the same thing. Read your posts BEFORE you post, people.
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