I THINK U GUYS ARE DECIEVED BY THE DEVIL AND HIS SPIRITS. MAKING THIS STUFF UP IS MERELY CREATED BY SOMEONE AND ITS AN EXCUSE TO HAVE AND DO WHAT UWANNA DO AND I FEEL THAT SOME SPAGHETTI MONSTER CANT EXPLAIN THE UNEXPLAINED AND CANT HELP ME SPIRITUALLY AS I COME TO REALIZE CHRIST HELPS ME MENTALLY AND PHYSICALLY AND I HAVE EVIDENCE THAT THIS IS TRUE AND TRY HIM CHRIST IS REAL AND PERSONALLY THATS MY EVIDENCE. PEOPLE ITS ALL MADE UP THE SPAGHETTI MONSTER ISNT REAL
-kathleen
i think u guys are decieved by the devil
Published by Bobby Henderson December 16th, 2008 in Hate Mail (and concerned criticism). 549 Comments
549 Responses to “i think u guys are decieved by the devil”
and yea it was said that when the anti-pasta arrives she would cloak herself in CAPSLOCK AND SEDUCE THE BLASPHEMING INFIDELS.
R’amen
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to the original poster umm your caps lock key is stuck i think and your punctuation is really dooly bad n stuff how do you know that the devil is deceving us have you talked with him yourself the spagetti monster just fills the same blank you fill with god but anyway learn to construct sentences better cause it is really hard to grasp your argument ok if his noodly goodness is 100% false in your view than so is your god who makes no more sense itself na na ne na na oh and i love the try him bit like jeebus woops sorry jesus is a freakin fur coat or something where your proven evidence
RAmen
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A University professor at a well known institution of higher learning challenged his students with this question.
“Did the Flying Spaghetti Monster create everything that exists?”
A student bravely replied, “Yes he did!”
“The Flying Spaghetti Monster created everything?” The professor asked.
“Yes sir, he certainly did,” the student replied.
The professor answered, “If the Flying Spaghetti Monster created everything; then the Flying Spaghetti Monster created evil. And, since evil exists, and according to the principle that our works define who we are, then we can assume the Flying Spaghetti Monster is evil.”
The student became quiet and did not respond to the professor’s hypothetical definition. The professor, quite pleased with himself, boasted to the students that he had proven once more that the Pastafarian faith was a myth.
Another student raised his hand and said, “May I ask you a question,
Professor?”
“Of course”, replied the professor.
The student stood up and asked, “Professor does cold exist?”
“What kind of question is this? Of course it exists. Have you never been cold?”
The other students snickered at the young man’s question.
The young man replied, “In fact sir, cold does not exist. According to the laws of physics, what we consider cold is in reality the absence of heat. Everybody or object is susceptible to study when it has or transmits energy, and heat is what makes a body or matter have or transmit energy. Absolute zero (-460 F) is the total absence of heat; and all matter becomes inert and incapable of reaction at that temperature. Cold does not exist. We have created this word to describe how we feel if we have no heat.” The student continued, “Professor, does darkness exist?”
The professor responded, “Of course it does.”
The student replied, “Once again you are wrong sir, darkness does not exist either. Darkness is in reality the absence of light. Light we can study, but not darkness. In fact, we can use Newton’s prism to break white light into many colors and study the various wavelengths of each color. You cannot measure darkness. A simple ray of light can break into a world of darkness and illuminate it. How can you know how dark a certain space is? You measure the amount of light present. Isn’t this correct? Darkness is a term used by man to describe what happens when there is no light present.” Finally the young man asked the professor, “Sir, does evil exist?”
Now uncertain, the professor responded, “Of course, as I have already said. We see it everyday. It is in the daily examples of man’s inhumanity to man. It is in the multitude of crime and violence everywhere in the world. These manifestations are nothing else but evil.
To this the student replied, “Evil does not exist, sir, or at least it does not exist unto itself. Evil is simply the absence of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. It is just like darkness and cold, a word that man has created to describe the absence of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. The Flying Spaghetti Monster did not create evil. Evil is the result of what happens when man does not have the Flying Spaghetti Monster’s love present in his heart. It’s like the cold that comes when there is no heat, or the darkness that comes when there is no light.”
The professor sat down.
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Eardrum: If scientific observation is “little kid logic”, then are you saying mature logic is believing what was written long ago, born of pure speculation, then altered repeatedly to serve some purpose, with no scientific basis whatsoever? There are multiple instances where the BuyBull has what we now know are factual errors: rabbits chewing cud, flat earth, etc.
Certain charlatans try to explain much on earth with the Great Flood, but analysis of moon rocks show they, too, are billions of year old. Did Noah report a floating moon??
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God helps you physically and mentally? I think you need to help yourself physically and mentally. Wait flying spaghetti monster isnt real!!! MY LIFE IS A LIE!!!
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this is blasphomy! you are all non beleivers and will be eaten by the FSM when judgement day comes! bow to him you cowards
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I wish he had made us in his own image. Think of all that noodly goodness in the bedroom.
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Holy wall of text batman, someone needs a new capslock key!
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This is hilarious. What I don’t understand… now bear with me.. ready? Ok, I’m not religious by any means .. therefore I dont go into churchs and start telling people about FSM (why? because that wouldnt be cool). SOOOOO… this is a crazy concept- ready? Why do these religious hellfire fanatics come to a webiste which clearly *offends* then .. just to talk shit. Then they call us immature. We arent the ones getting all bent out of shape. People get too angry over pasta.
Ramen,
EVAN IS AWESOME!
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How to comment to something like this……
answer: you, your logic and your capslock writing fails.
Your spelling and grammar sucks and try not to use too much capitals.
Capitals used to be cool but you made it unco.
We aren’t that stupid to think that this is real.
This would be called parody religion.
EYE HOP YU HAS A GUUUD DAE NAOWW!! :]
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What an uncreative way of trying to disprove something.
I must be an idiot, because I thought that this all ended centuries ago.
Not approving of something,
and calling it devil’s work.
I applaud your originality.
-.-
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Mmm, sweet sweet spelling errors (and grammar too!) and misuse of just about every thing – especially using the letter “U” as “you”.
Other spelling errors occur too. Also, all caps for the win, except for the one place (beginning letter on your NAME)
Please allow Mr. Jesus H. Christ to ‘enlighten’ you on speaking a language – and sounding intelligent.
Also, the devil is my friend, and please do not call him evil.
He is a good friend and quite a good chef.
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Oh Dear, “i” before “e” excpet after “c” or when sounds like “a” in neighbor or weigh. Basic stuff that was supposed to be learned before graduating the second grade. I think the majority of people who post hate mail definitely need to go back to school and learn proper spelling.
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Ahem…LEARN HOW TO SPELL! Oh, and I only used caps locks there to illustrate a point.I’m 12 and have been touched by his Noodleness (I have a very familiar looking birthmark on my shoulder) I can spell better than you!
And I can’t help but notice that all the Christians moaning on here seem to be just about literate, whereas we Pastafarians can spell and use correct grammar and punctuation.We truly are the chosen people
RAmen
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O WOW! YUR IS RITE! WE IS AL UNDER DA DEVILS BAD STUF! WE’S ALL GOTA REPENT! Okay, all comedy aside, please stop taking the time out of your day to go on a website you probably first came in contact with, and, for the sheer monkey rage that overtook you, wrote an offensive (and racist0 remark. In your words “U IS DA SMRTST”!!!
RAmen
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and I think you need to know that i before e EXCEPT IMMEDIATELY AFTER C.
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I THINK U RELIGIOUS FREAKS ARE REALLY DECIEVED BY THE DEVIL AND HIS BEERS AND SPIRITS INTO BILEAVING ALL THAT EYNCHENT STUFF WOT WAS MERELY MADE UP BY SOMEONE AND HIS BEDOUIN FRIENDS WHO WERE EATING MAJIK MUSHROOMS 1 DAY ALL DAY LONG OUTSIDE HIS TENT IN THE DESERT AND THEY GOT BORED AND ROTE A BOOK WOT U CALL THE BIBLE AND U JUST USE IT AS AN EXCUSE TO FINK U KNOW BETTER THAN ENY1 ELS AND AND SO U FEEL THAT U CAN CRITISIZE THE TRU FEITH OF THE SPAGHETTI MONSTER AND HIS FOLLOWERS, BUT U CANT EXPLAIN THE UNEXPLAINED EITHER AND NEITHER CAN CHRIST OR ANY1 ESLE THAT DIED A LONG LONG TIME AGO BUT BUT IF U FINK HE HELPS U MENTALLY AND PHYSICALLY ON THE LEVEL AND U FINK U HAVE EVIDENCE THAT ALL THAT ODDBALL NONESENSE IS TRUE AND REAL AND IT ALL CALMS U DOWN THEN PERSONALLY I GUESS IT HELPS TO KEEP U OUT OF THE NUTHOUSE FOR A WHIYL WICH IS WEHRE U AND YOUR RELIGIUS PEOPLE FRENDS BILONG. BUT U SHUD JUST KNOW THAT ITS ALL MADE UP AND ONLY THE SPAGHETTI MONSTER IS REAL AND CAN HELP U SPIRITUALLY AND ANYWAY WHO RILI CARES AND WHY DON’T YOU LEARN TO RITE IF U WANT PIPAL 2 TAKE U SIRIUSLI?
Scimmia
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CAPS LOCK THE BEST WAY TO GET YOUR POINTS ACROSS.
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Wow .. that is a really, really, really, really long run-on sentence.
Wait! PERHAPS IF I TYPE IN ALL-CAPS YOU’LL UNDERSTAND. Oh, perhaps not, since I can write without completely destroying any resemblance to the english language. Sigh. Maybe in my next life.
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Hey Noodlyone, what’s up? I’m twelve too, and I agree with you completely. My dad and I were laughing for hours after reading the hate mail. I was a better speller in KINDERGARDEN!!!!!!!
Ramen :)
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“IT’S AN EXCUSE TO HAVE AND DO WHAT YOU WANT TO DO”
Because how disgustingly Evil that would be? I Agree, we should all conform to your comfortingly oppressive religion and feel the warm, safe blanket of stupidity cover us all!
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WHY ARE YOU SHOUTING?
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The Spaghetti Monster isn’t real????
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KATHLEEN, IT’S ALL MADE UP, JESUS WAS A MAN, NOTHING MORE.
I’M SORRY KATHLEEN, THAT YOU FEEL NOT THE ENLIGHTMENT OF THE FLYING SPAGHETTI MONSTER.
HOW THE HELL DO THESE PEOPLE COME UPON HIS NOODLINESS IN THE FIRST PLACE?
RAmen…and may the almighty FSM be with you all.
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Saucy girl noodly on I’m twlve to!! No I’m not retardd It’s just my kyboard has a broken E key
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Taken from Wikipedia – Schizophrenia (pronounced /ˌskɪtsəˈfrɛniə/ or /ˌskɪtsəˈfriːniə/), from the Greek roots schizein (σχίζειν, “to split”) and phrēn, phren- (φρήν, φρεν-, “mind”) is a psychiatric diagnosis that describes a mental disorder characterized by abnormalities in the perception or expression of reality. It most commonly manifests as auditory hallucinations, paranoid or bizarre delusions, or disorganized speech and thinking with significant social or occupational dysfunction. Onset of symptoms typically occurs in young adulthood,[1] with approximately 0.4–0.6%[2][3] of the population affected. Diagnosis is based on the patient’s self-reported experiences and observed behavior. No laboratory test for schizophrenia currently exists
…umm
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I’m not sure that anything can help this poor girl spiritually, mentally or physically short of therapy.
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Oh “somebody” ate a huge bowl of Capitalized Alphabet Soup!
Get it? It’s because nothing she said made sense, and it was all in capitalized letters. Also I thought that the fact that Alphabet Soup was a pasta would make her even more of a hypocrite! Aha…
I don’t care if I’m the only person who found that amuzing.
I slay me. :]
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As a fellow Joycean scholar I would like to discuss some of the finer points of Ulysses, the way in which you emulate the unpunctuated last chapter in your rant against C of FSM is indeed a bold attempt to make this an acceptable form of writing in the average workaday life…however the actual content of the piece is more worrying…the Devil…Spirits…Christ…Oh wait your actually an idiot…
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You’re a fucking idiot. Way to make run on sentences. Learn some fucking grammar and proper English. Believe what u believe. If they come to the pearly gates at the end of existance, and they can’t get in, oh well. That’s on them. Damn, you religious freaks are awful. If someone isn’t in your religion, you think they’re going to burn in Hell. Or if they don’t go to church every Sunday, they’re going to burn in Hell. How do you know the FSM isn’t real? But you know what? That’s not even the issue at hand. The issue is: people have faith in whatever they have faith in. And having faith in something should be enough.
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how very dare she…i mean caps lock…lowest of the low…come on
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And SOYLENT GREEN IS PEOPLE!!
You say everyone knew that already?
We-hellitty we-hellity wellity, isn’t that a coincidence?
Seriously though, I have a hunch this person was doing this ironically to make fun of people who really are like that… I really hope so.
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I categorically deny having anything to do with this website or “religion”. I’m far too busy managing my death metal bands and video game companies to be involved in this kind of childish inanity.
Hail Me,
Satan.
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ur moms decieved by the devil
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HOW DARE YOU SAY THE SPAGHETTI MONSTER ISN’T REAL!!! He touched me in the shower and did positive things for me. I have my own evidence of it.
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“AN EXCUSE TO HAVE AND DO WHAT UWANNA DO” Thank god for life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. Which, by the way, let me do what I want to do.
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You are a grown person and you belive in a little red man with a pitch fork in a imaginary land were its reallly hot ? im fourteen and i think all of you must be completly retarded to still have imaginary friends like jeeessssuuusssss
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jambomuffin #503 – it’s very simple, he was drunk. The FSM is spaghetti enough to own up to his fuckups.
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ZOMFFSM, JUST CAUSE MY CAPS KEY IS DOWN MEANS EVERYONE WILL LISTEN TO MEH AND BELIEVE WHAT I SAY RIGHT? WELL HOW ABOUT, PEOPLE ITS ALL MADE UP, YOUR GOD ISNT REAL!!!! DIDNT SEE THAT COMING DID YA
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OOOOOOH, it helps you mentally and physically ey? Ever heard of something called the placebo effect?
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@Cat (#528):
:D
I’ve been laughing for over forty seconds on one single sentence. That’s a record for me on this website.
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OH CRAP STOP YELLING AT ME.
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I have a feeling that many of the hate mailers who visit this site have been touched by his noodly appendage; however, they have been touched by their teachers in different ways, and therefore, cannot respond to what they haven’t been told, perhaps in 2,000 years we will be believable, as the only truth comes from outdated materials.
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Oh and just a tip; most operating systems have an onscreen keyboard you can use to fix the caps-lock issue.
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Hold on, I’ve just read this 3 times and I still can’t get it, I think the Caps Lock is messing with my eyes.
I’ll have another go and try to prove some of this scheiβen wrong.
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‘I COME TO REALIZE CHRIST HELPS ME MENTALLY AND PHYSICALLY AND I HAVE EVIDENCE THAT THIS IS TRUE AND TRY HIM CHRIST IS REAL AND PERSONALLY THATS MY EVIDENCE’
Wait. . . WHAT ??
Circular logic much ??
Roughly translated from gibberish Kathleen is saying “Christ helps me, my evidence of this is that I believe in him and that is why he is real.”
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Also, I love it when they (the hate mailers) say that we are being deceived/used/influenced etc. by the devil, just for having a different religion to them.
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My mom thinks that I am influenced by the devil too. That is why she isn’t talking to me anymore (apparently, but I never really did get a straight answer out of her about that). Very Christian of her. So typical of all of you. If god was real then he/she/it wouldn’t tear families apart, so screw you and your god.
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Congrats, you just made a fool of yourself and…
Typed a bunch of random words in all capitals?
Type something with punctuation so that people with actual brains can understand what it is you are trying to say every once in a while ^.^
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