I’ve tried

Published November 11th, 2008 by Bobby Henderson

I’ve tried giving evidence for God.
I’ve tried telling you the benefits of God.
I’ve tried telling you the horrors of Hell.
I’ve tried kindness.
I’ve tried condemning you.
I’ve tried offering you salvation.
My patience is expired with you all.
I have only one question for you all.
Why do hate God so much,what did He do to you to make you doubt His existence. Everything I know, everything I love, is in a Book you hate with all your hearts. My God is great, He is kind, and He is forgiving. Yet still, you curse Him with every word. Everything He hates, you love. Sex,war,blasphemy,hate,mockery, even death you love! All you do to me is mock me. You never give evidence, you only call yourselves enlightened for your lack of faith. God warns that heathens offer freedom,pleasure,and knowledge, but they are lying. I have offered you eternal life, and you have cursed me. I do not curse you, nor your choices,nor any horrid sin you do. I cry for you. I will weep in the presence of God because of you, and because i could not save of you a single soul. So, my sinful,fallen companions i leave you today with just one question. Why?
May Christ Jesus, The One True God, have mercy on you my friends.
-Christian



381 Responses to “I’ve tried”

  1. Chris says:

    This is fantastic! Well written, well thought out – bravo! This is a hatemail which has a legitimate point of view, and which could intelligently be debated. I think we have reached a new level.
    Christain – we don’t hate you or your god. I don’t know why you accuse us of loving “sex,war,blasphemy,hate,mockery, even death”. I don’t think our organization has an official policy on any of these things. Though I suppose there’s an argument for strippers and beer volcanoes fitting into one of those categories. Yes, in your view we are guilty of blasphemy (and maybe a little mockery) – but that is because we don’t believe in your christian god, just like 70% of the worlds population doesn’t.
    We believe you are deluded to believe in god. You think we are ignorant for not believing. As long as that is as far as it goes, everyone is happy and the world is good. However, when you try to push your views on us (or, to be fair, us on you) then there is an issue.
    Don’t try to convert us – it is not welcome. Don’t push your morality on us – we won’t have it. Don’t try to legislate your religion (I’m thinking of the horrible anti-gay Proposition 8 that I am embarrassed was passed in my home state of California).

  2. Fusillier says:

    I don’t hate god! How can I hate something that doesn’t exist?
    What I hate is christians who are completely intolerant of anyone elses opinion, and who feel that they have the right to tell everyone else how to live! You don’t know me, you nothing about me or my life, and yet here you are arrogantly going on about the things you have offered me as if you have some right to interfere. You Don’t!
    Go away!

  3. Lyvvie says:

    God will be so disappointed in you for giving up so quickly. You really didn’t try very hard.

    Wait a minute – God hates sex?! What was all that “Go forth and multiply” stuff about then?? Also, how many wars have been fought in the name of God? Man has a bad habit of using gods to support their blood lust and greed – “Everything goes because I do it for god so my sins don’t count, HaHa.”

    You just go right ahead, Chris and put those bible-blinkers back on and leave us to the sex and debauchery we obviously love so much.

    You ask why, I say Because.

  4. Reed Braden says:

    –I’ve tried giving evidence for God.

    Fail.

    –I’ve tried telling you the benefits of God.

    Fail.

    –I’ve tried telling you the horrors of Hell.

    That one was a nice try, but nothing in the Bible is worse than an average Saw film.

    –I’ve tried kindness.

    Once again, fail.

    –I’ve tried condemning you.

    You folks actually do this one quite well. It doesn’t do anything except for make us think you’re all spiteful morons, but you folks do it so well.

    –I’ve tried offering you salvation.

    That’s not yours to offer.

    –My patience is expired with you all.

    Awww… poor you.

    –I have only one question for you all. Why do hate God so much,what did He do to you to make you doubt His existence.

    Why do you hate unicorns? What did they ever do to you? You can’t have talked to too many Atheists and sceptics in your life if you’re still stupid to ask that question. We don’t hate God. We don’t expend that kind of effort hating non-existent entities. God didn’t do anything to piss us off. He can’t do anything at all, to piss us off or not. He’s not capable of doing things because he isn’t real! Get it through your thick skull.

    –Everything I know, everything I love, is in a Book you hate with all your hearts.

    I actually thoroughly enjoy the Bible. It’s an interesting piece of literature. Not nearly as beautiful as the works of Shakespeare, as entertaining as The Canterbury Tales or as gripping as Beowulf, but it’s a decent story and the King James Version is wonderfully worded.

    However, if everythign you love is in the Bible, you must have a pathetic life. Do you not have family? Friends? A spouse? A pet? Sex? Chocolate? A fireplace? And I’m sure you know more than what is in the Bible. The Bible doesn’t teach you how to comment on the Pastafarian blog… so you’ve already proved yourself wrong on that one.

    –My God is great,

    And my dick is bigger.

    –He is kind, and He is forgiving.

    Yet, the Bible says that God is not kind and forgiving. He is a jealous God. He is a vengeful God. Those are in the Bible.

    –Yet still, you curse Him with every word.

    I do not.

    –Everything He hates, you love.

    Don’t tell me what I love.

    –Sex,war,blasphemy,hate,mockery, even death you love!

    You just told me what I love. I told you not to. However, you got it all wrong. Yes, I love sex. That’s not a bad thing. Sex is an intimate act of love. I hate war and hate and death. I never love nor hate blasphemy and mockery. I’m indifferent to them, but I don’t see the harm in them.

    –All you do to me is mock me.

    Have you thought that maybe you bring it upon yourself?

    –You never give evidence, you only call yourselves enlightened for your lack of faith.

    You never listen to the evidence. It’s easily accessible. Talkorigins.org has all you’ll need.

    Enlightenment is the acceptance of reason. Reason is the antithesis of faith. So, yes, a lack of faith can lead to enlightenment.

    –God warns that heathens offer freedom,pleasure,and knowledge, but they are lying.

    Or maybe the people who wrote the Bible were lying and they didn’t want you to know the truth because they wanted your tithes.

    –I have offered you eternal life, and you have cursed me.

    Because that’s not yours to offer.

    –I do not curse you, nor your choices,nor any horrid sin you do.

    But you would seek to make what you call my sins illegal.

    –I cry for you.

    I cry that you’ve so thoroughly bought into this scam.

    –I will weep in the presence of God because of you, and because i could not save of you a single soul.

    Yeah… that sounds fun. Congratulations on making Heaven sound like a great place to be… a place where self-righteous and vainglorious spend eternity sobbing for the people who would rather learn about how the universe REALLY works than blindly accept Bronze Age desert dogmas.

    –So, my sinful,fallen companions i leave you today with just one question. Why?

    Because the evidence is on our side. Prove God and I’ll follow him. But you’ll also have to prove that your god is better than all the other gods across the world and through human history. You better get busy.

    –May Christ Jesus, The One True God, have mercy on you my friends.

    If that asshole really exists, you better hope that I have mercy on him!

  5. Joe Marinara says:

    Does anyone have a good joke? I’m afraid this dude is about to slit his wrists.

  6. BlackBard says:

    I guess there is not much point in responding, since Christian has already left the room. I, too, will weep in the presence of the beer volcano and stripper factory because I could not save his/her soul from stale beer, etc. I only hope that Christian will someday be touched by His Noodly Appendage and bathed in the warmth of His Sauce.

    RAmen

  7. The Evolved Ape says:

    I bet you have no clue as to who wrote your boook. See an excellent series of videos on YouTube called ‘Who Wrote The Bible?’. Make sure you remember the questionmark at the end. It is a BBC documentary for the History Channel made by a theological Christian expert. I think you desperately need to see it.

  8. Marnie says:

    If you had succeeded in the first item, the rest of your post would be moot.
    Still waiting for that evidence.

    My lunch was evidence of some yummy noodily goodness.

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