I would love little more than to beat the ever living tar out of each and every one of you. However, Jesus says i shouldn’t, because it is wrong. Jesus says for us to control our sinful impulses and be nice people. I want to be a nice person, and whenever im not as nice as i could be i say to myself,the greatest glory is not in never failing but in rising each time you fall. That, i believe, is the fundamental difference between atheist and Christians. Atheists say evil is just our primal nature. Christians say evil is both wrong and controllable. May the LORD Jesus rule over God’s people forever Amen.
-Squiggledorf
I would love to beat the living tar out of each and every one of you
Published by Bobby Henderson November 18th, 2008 in Hate Mail (and concerned criticism). 395 Comments
395 Responses to “I would love to beat the living tar out of each and every one of you”
Squiggledorf, you really need to just calm down a bit, let everyone enjoy their own religious beliefs and stop trying to convert people. I am happy with the church of the FSM and would like to point out that you should be content in knowing that if you are right then you can laugh at us as we burn in hell. Please conider the fact that pastafarians don’t care what others believe and are happy the waay they are.
~A Concerned Pastafarian.
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Congratulations on controlling your anger.
May you be touched by his Noodly Appendage.
RAmen
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Squiggledorf, can you really beat the living tar outta them if Jesus told u that you could? btw Christianity is the same as FSMism, both are myths that a higher being created this Earth… so seriously calm down and be concerned with your own religion rather than bitch at others…
~sum random guy who stumbled on this site and things FSM is freaking awesomely funny =D
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Why would you want to beat us up for our believes? If FSM is the wrong religion and we are going to hell anyway wouldn’t that be a punishment enough?
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Violence is part of the flight or fight instinct, but that doesn’t mean we have go around fighting people and running away from others all the time.
I’d like to think we’ve evolved past the point where we need to rely on fight or flight more than a little
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@Steve:
Because you suck (scientifically proven fact) and no.
This site is dedicated to being ignorant and hateful toward things never researched by athiests.
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Prove they’re just myths…..
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Lolla, this site is in fact dedicated to following the One True God in all His Noodly Glory.
There may be no hope for you but your children will be ours. Mwahahaha!
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“I would love little more than to beat the ever living tar out of each and every one of you.”
People aren’t made out of tar, last time I checked, or is that what’s being taught in schools these days?
“Jesus says for us to control our sinful impulses and be nice people. ”
I wish all of those rapists/child molesters/ murderers who believe in Jesus had as much self-restraint as you have.
“Atheists say evil is just our primal nature. ”
Err, I think you’re confusing Atheism with Evilism, wrong thread buddy.
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Woah there Squiggledorf!! Are you saying that belief in your god is the ONLY thing that keeps you on the straight and narrow?! That without your faith you would ‘beat the living tar’ out of anyone you chose? Do you need everything to be spelled out to you? You could just make your own decsisions you know. You do have free will. There are plenty of Athiests (and plenty of Pastafarians for that matter) who are perfectly nice people. And they are nice people because they have an innate, basic respect for others which I find infinitely more commendable than your assertion that your only reason for restraint is that you have been told it’s wrong to hit people. Wouldn’t it be nice not to want to hit people in the first place? Isn’t that what your religion really teaches? How about turning the other cheek?
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All hail the One True God in all his noodly glory. May blasphemers such as Lolla be saved by His noodly appendage.
RAmen.
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Well shit head are you forgetting th ecrusades caused by christans??? or George Bush saying God told him to invad Iraq and kill thousands and thousands of people like seriously what the fuck were you raised in some Louisian bayou by an epiletic inbred hick? Have atheists ever started huge wars……………I think not
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@ #312
They’ve started forum wars….. does that count? :3
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So, pastors nowadays are teaching their followers that athiests are evil? Wow… I hope Pastafarianism never gets like that. BOBBY! WE’RE COUNTING ON YOU! =D One of the best things of this site is to bring out the ignorance and hatefulness and hippocracy of so-called “Christians”.
R’Amen, and may you all forever be touched by His Noodly Appendage
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Isn’t it interesting that the only people trying to argue against Pastafarianism are blantantly christian? So much for their loving God; Maybe they would be more accepting after being smacked in the face several times with a Noodly Appendage.
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Good for you Squiggledorf! Thank god Jesus is there to tell you to not beat someone up! Otherwise the devil might grab a hold of your soul and “make you” do evil things!
Personally, i don’t beat the “living tar” (or the inanimate tar, for that matter) out of people because I personally know that it is a douchey thing to do. But if big brother jesus has to tell you it’s wrong, that’s cool to.
And let’s assume all atheists believe “evil” is part of our primal nature does that mean we can not control it? Just a thought
I urge you to look up statistics for the most atheist countries, and then look up crime rates and other “evil” things and tell me the correlation. (if you’re scared of the internet and dont want to look it up i’ll tell you right now that the greater the atheism, the less illegal activity in general.)
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I really hope this one was a joke. =|
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if we’re such idiots why take the time to write such stupid letters.
hail the noodly glory
Ramen.
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Top 10: Nations with the highest percentage of non-believers:
Sweden, Vietnam, Denmark, Norway, Japan, Czech Republic, Finland, France, South Korea, Estonia.
So, if atheists don’t believe evil is controllable or wrong, why are the crime statistics in these countries FAR below those in such religious bastions as Columbia, Mexico, the U.S., Sudan, etc??
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Well, Squiggledorf, I have no idea how atheists come into the arguement, but being a former one myself until being Touched by His Noodly Appendage, I feel I should defend them.
Where the hell does it say that they believe in nothing but evil? They don’t believe in anything, is the entire point. Most are more interested in empirical data, proof by evidence, observable phenomena, etc. Not some-pardon the overused phrase-two-thousand year old cosmic Jewish zombie.
May I also point out that, in my experience, Christians are the last people I would describe as nice, or in any way non-evil.
Raagh.
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that really isn’t very nice!!!
ramen.
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P.S. I was going to add that if you want to spew forth your opinions as fact, perhaps you should get your facts straight first, but it occured to me that if everyone did that, there’d BE no religion.
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@312
commies were atheists and they loved war.
i should know because im a socialist agnostic that likes playing war.
close enough.
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Wow this is just too funny!
My friend told us about this during class and We just burst out laughing.
I really enjoy spaghetti too :P
-J
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We will be having spaghetti for dinner, is this considered a sin? If so how do We repent?
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Bring it on son. I bet you hit like a bag of wet noodles anyway.
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Hum, you talk like someone who has anger management problems 0.o
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By eating your next sandwich… spread with PESTO, instead of butter! An’ it must be da red kind, to reflect yer embarrassed blushing!
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Hey if you are so smart then how was Jesus God’s son? Did God go and get Mary pregnant? Because i always thought that was a sin?
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You are sriously creepy. What kind of Cristian likes spreading so much hate?
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WRONG!
Atheists say when you do something bad, it’s because you, personally, are just a dick. There is no devil to scapegoat for your own problems.
And when you have to take personal responsibility for your problems, then you also have to take responsibility for fixing them.
You’re the dick, do something about it.
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I’M WANNA KILL YOU ALL AND WHIP YOUR BODIES WITH YOUR SPINE. But i won’t ’cause im such a good person.
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Damn… i said i’m wanna.
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So, the only thing that stops you from commiting violent acts against fellow humans is your thiestic Belief system?
You must then recognize that those of us that contain ourselves in this manner without the aid of religion have stronger moral fiber than people such as yourself, correct?
Athiests say nothing of the sort, and if they do, they speak for themselves, not athiesm in general, because athiesm isn’t a dogma.
We have no standard belief system.
We speak for ourself.
We form our own beliefs.
We develope our own moral code.
I’m glad people like you have religion, though.
It keeps you from becoming violent.
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Beat the living tar out of me? I’d like to see you try, little girl.
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spoken like a real nice person
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Thank you for your help!
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I think Squiggledorf’s message can be paraphrased thusly:
“I feel threatened by everything I don’t understand; generally I let others do my thinking for me. Lacking cognitive ability, I can’t enter a rational and intellectual debate, so instead I turn to violence. For hundreds of years this was the tradition of my church – burn the heretics rather than let their ideas be discussed”.
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“Beat the ever living tar out of me”
Is that even an expression?
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Atheists say that there is no god.
You’re thinking of Cynics.
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I agree with thefewtheproudthemarinara.
Squiggledorf, I would like to point out that firstly, tar is not alive. Therefore, I have no living tar inside me, and it would be impossible for you to beat it out.
Secondly, I would like to enlighten you with the knowledge that your name, “Squiggledorf,” originated from ancient peoples who believed that the squiggles of the flying spaghetti monster’s noodly appendage would redeem us all on Judgement Day.
Just thought you should know.
R’amen.
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Christian Brooks (#349): As you say, Squiggledorf’s name may have originated from ancient squiggles of the FSM (pesto be upon him). However, shouldn’t our poster’s name to SquiggleDORK?
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