I would love little more than to beat the ever living tar out of each and every one of you. However, Jesus says i shouldn’t, because it is wrong. Jesus says for us to control our sinful impulses and be nice people. I want to be a nice person, and whenever im not as nice as i could be i say to myself,the greatest glory is not in never failing but in rising each time you fall. That, i believe, is the fundamental difference between atheist and Christians. Atheists say evil is just our primal nature. Christians say evil is both wrong and controllable. May the LORD Jesus rule over God’s people forever Amen.
-Squiggledorf
I would love to beat the living tar out of each and every one of you
Published by Bobby Henderson November 18th, 2008 in Hate Mail (and concerned criticism). 395 Comments
395 Responses to “I would love to beat the living tar out of each and every one of you”
[sigh] Tampering with a quote by Jeshua ben Joseph (aka. Jesus), “The stupid will alawas be with us”
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As we can all read,christianism is religion of love and peace isn’t it?
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Sounds good, Squiggy. Oh, can I call you Squiggy? How about Squigmeister? I’m assuming it’s all right, so here goes.
Squigmeister, I think you’ve hit upon something here. Whenever anyone disagrees with me in the future, I’m just gonna beat them into compliance. And, since I am an atheist and implicitly believe that evil is just a part of my primal nature, I’ll just give full vent to it in the future. BTW, I’m 6′4″ 235 lbs and hit the gym at least for an hour and a half every day to run, weightlift, do pilates, and I have taken boxing lessons for the last three years. Wanna do lunch and start a disagreement with me?
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Give the guy a break, puberty is a difficult time.
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I was just on the eastboro bapstist church website where there were christians preaching to them thinking it was real. what is wrong with these people cant they understand sarcasm and jokes, there again they must be pretty dumb to even go on sites like this.
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Just to point out i am pastafarian i mean they must pretty dumb to go on other websites to prove are god doesnt exist (he does exist) because they dont have enough faith in their own god.
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Well Mr. Angry homosexual, even conspiring to “beat the living tar” out of me is a sin and you will go to hell.
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There’s as much proof for God as there is the almighty FSM. You christian bitches weren’t there, how can you possibly tell me God exists just because of a book? Guess what. The Flying Spaghetti Monster also has a book. AND so does William Shatner! you mean to tell me that these equally credible gods don’t exist just because we discovered them more recently? What religion has some guy nailed to some wood anyhow? this is Why Jesus hasn’t come back. he’s so ashamed of you churchey fear-bound assholes that he just chills on Mars with Bigfoot and four-armed Grimace as they tell sex jokes and laugh at us. Thanks guys. now nobody can’t be in the J-meister’s top 8 because you thought killing the saviour was cool.
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I believe that we have an issue here. Apparently, Christians expect everyone to accept and believe in their religion, but they will not tolerate others. A lack of an open mind will be our downfall. I don’t care what you believe in, I’m sure its a fine reason to believe in something. Just don’t push your beliefs on others. You’ll receive hate. Or this rather amusing site!
And as much as I love this idea, I think i’ll stick with Jediism for the time being.
May the Force Be With You
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Congratulations for showing more control than the Crusaders. :)
Just a little note, our religion has never killed people for not believing in it. :D
Also, thanks for awarding us the ‘greatest glory’. People have pushed atheists down, burned them, hanged them, taunted them, etc. What the heck did we ever do to you? Challenge your beliefs? Sorry we had an opinion. This Religion has helped us rise above all that and become better people. We have ‘risen from each time we fell.’
Have a marvelous day!
RAmen
Jennie
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“However, Jesus says i shouldn’t, because it is wrong. Jesus says for us to control our sinful impulses and be nice people.”
When did this ‘Jesus’ speak to you?
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I manage to refrain from mass killing sprees without needing to be told by religious figures that it’s not nice. Many people do.
In fact, I would posit the theory that it may be morally superior to do right not because Jesus told me to (many serial killers say they killed because imaginary people told them to, so I prefer not to base my conduct on such things), not for the sake of heaven or avoidance of hell, but because it’s the right thing to do.
And I’d say the greatest glory would be in, after stumbling once or twice, learning from my mistakes and making a point of not falling again. Not falling constantly even though I should know better and thinking it’s fine because I’ll always rise again.
“Atheists say evil is just our primal nature.”
I have no idea where you got this conclusion from. True, some philosophers have reached this conclusion, but not all, and Atheists don’t all accept this idea, what with not being the types to simply accept an idea just because many others have. You may be thinking of original sin, which is something only VERY RARELY (caption for the hard of thinking and sarcasm-impaired: never) accepted by atheists.
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Fellow “Christian,”
The Bible also says that to simply think of committing a sin, is equal to the actual act.
See ya in hell! :waves:
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I wonder what he would say if Fedor browsed this site. Well, he probably wouldn’t know what that means, but if he did, he should cry.
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I wouldn’t mind doing the same to you, but I don’t because hey, I live in a civilized place that has laws, and morals with out God and his puppet jesus, Man kind is perfectly able to sustain morality and order, I agree the bible has some good stories, yet they remain just that. enjoy your christmas you don’t own it anymore either way. cheers.
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What else does Jesus “tell” you?
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squiggledof you agressive sod. why say you would love to beat the tar out of us and only dont because jesus tells you not to. I dont need god to tell me thats wrong. whose better?.
Another point you could try and beat me but i bet you would lose and i am English. Grow up you bile basher how much pain has your faith caused.
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Actually, we’re not atheists. FSM is our god.
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It is so hard to believe these people are for real. Honestly, it’s depressing, and they have NO sense of humor, which just makes me very, very sad for them. Happy Solstice everyone!
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Okay…
You want to beat the living tar out of me.
The only thing holding you back is some kind of spectral fear over what will happen once your dead, otherwise you would go ahead with the whup ass.
I don’t really feel like beating the tar out of you. Because that would just be silly in this situation. So I don’t.
Which of us is the better person?
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Jesus wasn’t the true Messiah because he didn’t have any spaghetti. That’s probably why his followers didn’t stop the Romans from tacking him to a stick. Who want’s a fish? What a cheapskate. This person obviously hasn’t been touched by the noodly appendages.
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Squiggledorf: sounds like something that should be seated at the right hand of His Holy Noodliness.
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If Christians don’t believe evil is our primal nature, then what is original sin?
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Do Christians still believe that their veins run with tar? Dr Nacho McDingle discovered in 2003 that human veins ran with an iron based sauce containing minute Goblins (heamogoblins) to carry much needed noodley goodness to extremities.
Do not let the vampires suck your sauce from deep within your sub-lasagne layers…It is said they are the spirits of those that died having never been touched by the noodley appendage. Pity them.
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So you’d like to beat the tar out of all of us nonbelievers? Better watch your step before you let your mouth overload your ass. Some of us are pretty big and we know how to use our dukes — although we’re normally quite gentle and harmless unless provoked. Is your faith so fragile that it can’t stand a bit of satire? Just remember, “Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent.” Isaac Asimov
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@ 273,
Eating fruit is the original sin. Had Eve chosen the linguine instead, the world wouldn’t be in this mess!
RAmen!
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“Jesus” told me to kill my fellow man because that man does not love him. Isn’t it kind of strange that a patriarchal religion that hates homosexuals is taught to love “Jesus” with every fiber of their being?
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Impaler: I equated religion with pro rasslin’ only because they’re sources of entertainment for some people I just don’t get, but if we look closer, there are other parallels.
The performers dress up in wierd costumes & go through various rituals.
Some poor souls don’t ever realize it’s all fake.
The storylines are contrived.
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It seems to me that you should drop everything you are doing, including writing threatening messages to people who have a different belief system, and immediately seek the counsel of a good psychologist. The fact that you have an innate desire to “beat the ever living tar out of each and every one of” us indicates some sociopathic tendencies, and you should really take care of that as you are clearly a danger to other people; civilized people do not go around declaring their desire to beat up random people?
Why is it that so many of the Christians that comment on this site threaten violence against us? Didn’t Jesus say something about turning the other cheek (supposedly)? Learn about your own religious lunacy before you ridicule ours!
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I have no desire to beat you up, just because we disagree.
I would suggest to you that your impulse to react violently to those who question your beliefs, is indicitive of a fundamental weakness in those beliefs. Good ideas don’t need to be forced on anyone.
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TheFewTheProudTheMarinara:
A few more similarities:
Both advocate nonsensical violence.
Both need a moderator (announcer/priest) to make sense of everything, dumb it down, and communicate it to the unthinking masses.
Both enjoy young buff men stripped down, oiled, and dressed in tights.
The Impaler
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What is up with this Squiggledorf redneck? I would love to see a motherfucker like you try to beat the living tar out of someone like me. Just give it a try, and I am going to put the Fear of His Noodly Appendage in you!
RAmen!
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I would love to beat the living tar out of you as well. RAmen!
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So you know that atheists ALL believe evil is our nature? (Because atheism is just that, you know, the belief that we are all evil, nothing to do with religion)
I hereby declare you are no longer allowed to express opinions. Ever.
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“May the LORD Jesus rule over God’s people forever Amen.
-Squiggledorf”
arent the lord’s people the Jews…sounds like you not included.
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Atheists are evil? So why is it that suicide bombers and other religions kill for what they belive in. Killing eachother over why we belive we are here…if that keeps happening, there arent going to be any people left. And why is it that alot of athiests are smarter than other people. Look at Bill Gates. And if ur some super bible humping, jesus thumping super christain, why are you using an athiest invention….the internet.
People are so dumb these days they belive anything they hear. Just cuz something is on the news, idiots belive in it. how about being open minded and think for yourself instead of living your life by a fucking book.
May the sauce be with you. In the name of the pasta, and of the sauce, andd of the holly meatballs, RAmen.
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The whole FSM thing is quite funny, but the best part of this whole mess is the replies it gets… Every Christian sending hate-mail or complaining just shows how much they miss the point, and justifies further the creation of such websites.
The point of the FSM is to denunciate the sacrifice of everyone’s freedom for a few’s beliefs that most religions have always and still do to this day impose to people. If you don’t get it, at least don’t tell everyone in a hateful fashion. You just look dumb.
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Definitely Dumb.
People like you make me want to move to Russell’s teapot. Do you really need a freakin instruction manual to tell you whats right and wrong? What about human compassion? Are we so incapable of doing good just for the good of it? Read the Bible; even by the book it was the forbidden fruit that gave Adam and Eve the knowledge of good and evil, not god, and you should be perfectly capable of knowing the right thing to do on your own.
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I am not sure if the holy FSM will be able to forgive such hate mail
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“Living Tar”?! …and this guy doubts evolution?
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Impaler: Do you think WWF is missing out by not having a priest character? He could have a staff, miter and robes and be attended to by a couple alter boys. My suggestion: The Holy Terror.
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NO we pastafarianists do not belive in evil, why are the only two choices christ or evil? i mean really, thats like saying “choose which of your kids you like best”, both choices suck, seriously, drop this us or them mentality, that shit pushes people apart, and fsm knows se dont need that now.
RAman.
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I really wouldn’t be worried about anyone going by the name of ‘Squiggledorf’ beat the living tar out of anyone…
And is it just me or does squiggling sound like something a noodley appendage would do? I think someone is in denial!
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You know what I think the difference between athetists and you?
You’re an idiot.
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OK FOR ONE THING DUDE “the greatest glory is not in never failing but in rising each time you fall.” IS A CONFUSIANIST ADAGE! YOUR GOD SAYS THAT YOU CANT PRACTICE ANY OTHER RELIGION BUT HIS! SO STICK TO HIS RELIGION AND LEAVE OURS A LONE JERKFACE!!!! THE FSM IS AN ACCEPTING DIETY AND PAYS NO HEED TO YOU CHRISTIAN FOOLS ; )!!!
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btw L2SPELL TARDNUGGET!
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I’m sorry to inform you but we are humans not tar beasts
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To put Squiggledorf’s message in a nutshell: “worship the God of Love or He’ll burn you forever”!
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SO…..lemme get this straight: if ur God said that it’s ok to beat the hell out of people and kill people, you WOULD do it? wow, u really don’t have your own moral values do you? is that why you have to refer to a book to tell you what’s right or wrong? I feel very sorry for you! Repent and come to the land of the endless tomato sauce!!!
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@TheFewTheProudTheMarinara #294,
That is BRILLIANT! Not sure it would sit well with the core consumers of professional wrestling, but were there such a character, I’d start watching.
Another similarity: they both have a Judgment Day (okay, I’ve watched once or twice.)
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