I would love little more than to beat the ever living tar out of each and every one of you. However, Jesus says i shouldn’t, because it is wrong. Jesus says for us to control our sinful impulses and be nice people. I want to be a nice person, and whenever im not as nice as i could be i say to myself,the greatest glory is not in never failing but in rising each time you fall. That, i believe, is the fundamental difference between atheist and Christians. Atheists say evil is just our primal nature. Christians say evil is both wrong and controllable. May the LORD Jesus rule over God’s people forever Amen.
-Squiggledorf
I would love to beat the living tar out of each and every one of you
Published by Bobby Henderson November 18th, 2008 in Hate Mail (and concerned criticism). 395 Comments
395 Responses to “I would love to beat the living tar out of each and every one of you”
Hahaha.
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Hm. I predict that this one will go to hell much faster than I might…
I, as an atheist (which is just one of the array of minorities out here), actually say that evil is wrong and controllable. For the record, what atheist have you heard of that made evil a system? (I know Mao wasn’t christian, but I’m not sure about Hitler or Stalin. Enlightenment, anyone?)
You loving christian you!
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i don’t smoke so there’s no tar in me.
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Hey now, who you calling an atheist? I’m a Pastafarian!
Departing from that small piece of unsound assumption, I think you missed the mark entirely. I like the way you felt it was necessary to tell us you want to hit us, then hastened to show that you are a ‘good sheep’ that won’t attack because Jesus tells you not to. If you cannot be trusted to control your own impulses without the threat of punishment, not because you have empathy, nor a developed conscience, then you are precisely the type of silly person of which we have an abundant surplus, but do not really need.
I suggest you make haste to meet your god and leave us alone.
PC
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I lol’d.
Read. The. Bible.
Jesus Christians, learn what it is you’re talking about. XD
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AAhh, yes indeedy,God is love and I can feel it just oozing out of this email. There is nothing like a calm, rational, reasoned, intelligent argument when trying to explain why you believe the ridiculous. At least this one knows how to use spellcheck(I don’t think for a second that these creatures have mastered English on their own). Though having said that, I think the USA has just elected an intelligent,rational,articulate person who also happens to be a christian. Most people I know who have ,in the past, regarded Americans as racist,inward looking, right-wing, gun-toting fundamentalists have changed their minds now. My local pub sold out of champagne because so many people were celebrating Mr Obama’s victory here in Tasmania. The world will look at you in a different way now America.
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You know, it’s not “Christians” vs. “Atheists” … Atheists are in one category, because they don’t believe in anything beyond themselves — while “Religious Folks” believe that there is something beyond, although there is difference of opinion what that something is — whether the God of Abraham, the Olympian Gods, the Flying Spaghetti Monster, or a cosmic energy field.
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if jesus say “throw yourself into a pit” would you do it?
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I never seen atheists saying “evil” is our primal nature. In fact, most of them agree that there is no such such thing as absolute “good” and “evil”, and these things are entirely society-based.
But enough about atheists, you are a nice person, and even though for some reason you need an imaginary guardian to stay nice, the Flying Spaghetti Monster will obviously let you into heaven. Meet you there!
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Atheists say evil is just our primal nature? That’s news to me. I thought we discounted evil as a useful concept because it’s an easy way out of actually examining the causes of something.
Also, am getting increasingly alarmed at the number of people who would be ragingly violent but for their religion. Is it just me, or does murderousness love company?
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“I would love little more than to beat the ever living tar out of each and every one of you.”
How very Christian of you.
“However, Jesus says i shouldn’t, because it is wrong. Jesus says for us to control our sinful impulses and be nice people.”
Jesus was a very wise MAN.
“I want to be a nice person, and whenever im not as nice as i could be i say to myself,the greatest glory is not in never failing but in rising each time you fall.”
I pray to the almighty FSM that Squiggledorf, a kind and just person, never fall to the evils of beating the ever living tar out of people practicing their beloved religion. RAmen.
“That, i believe, is the fundamental difference between atheist and Christians. Atheists say evil is just our primal nature. Christians say evil is both wrong and controllable.”
I disagree with your implied assumption on this point. Yes, it can be interpreted that primal human nature is evil – there is ample evidence that our apelike ancestors, our modern primate cousins, and even us humans display absolutely brutal behavior toward our own species as well as others. You yourself, Squiggledorf, have nearly fallen prey to the evil you speak of by expressing a wont “to beat the ever living tar out of every one of [us]“. I disagree with your implied assumption that atheists believe that evil is acceptable human behavior. I think that if you sought out a few atheists and engaged them in civil, open minded, intelligent discussion, you would find that they too believe that evil is wrong. I also believe you would find that atheists are every bit as capable of controlling primal evil, holding the highest level of ethics, and having the greatest love for for one another as any Christian, Jew, Muslim, Buddhist, or Hindu.
“May the LORD Jesus rule over God’s people forever Amen.”
An may the FSM touch us all with his noodly appendage. RAmen.
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Squiggledorf,
Welcome peaceful christian – so nice to hear you can control the voices in your head.
Unfortunately they aren’t jesus: may I suggest a trip to your local psychiatrist.
As to beating “the ever living tar out of each and every one of” us:
1. Not much living tar in me – I am not a smoker
2. You are a wanker
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Athiests say evil is our primal nature AND wrong and controllable. So we win. Jesus may well rule over gods chosen people. Unfortunately he said “Go not unto the gentiles, nor to any town of the Samaritans, but go rather unto the lost sheep of the children of Israel.” So unless you were actually jewish to start with, I guess that’s not you. FAIL.
And maybe Jesus should take some of his own advice. Sending people to hell is NOT NICE now is it. Some might think he’s not the Messiah, just a very naughty boy.
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Atheists simply do not believe in a god. “Atheists” do not say evil is just our primal nature. We don’t have that kind of dogma. Our only commonality is our lack of belief in a god. You only state that falsehood because your xian cult brainwashes you. We as a group are not amoral or evil.
.
Ramen
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I’m pretty sure that the bible says that even wanting to commit a sin is a sin in itself! Well done! You’re desire to “beat the living tar out of each and everyone one of [us]” means that in your head you have already committed that sin!
Atheists say that our primal urges are part of out intuitive nature, christians try to blame them on the boogeyman. All beasts of nature have primal urges, and we are no different, just evolved apes. Get used to it, your imaginary friend is…well imaginary.
When you understand why you don’t believe in any other possible gods you will understand why we don’t believe in your god.
I have to say though, that I’m impressed by your spelling and grammar, most of you bible-bashers that come on here and scream abuse at us tend to come across as uneducated inbreds. Maybe there is hope for you yet!
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When exactly did Atheists start condoning evil? Last time I checked most Atheists believed as such due to their capability of rational thought. This is not something that leads to acting evil or condoning that evil action of others. After all, you haven’t heard anyone here say they would like to “beat the ever living tat out of each and every” God fearing individual in the world.
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So you’d like to beat the tar out of us, but evil is NOT our primal nature? Then something must be driving your agression. Perhaps its the false sense of superiority your religion gives you.
Jesus was known as a pacifist, putting him solidly in the minority when it comes to divine wrathfulness. His old man, on the other hand, was widely known for smiting, burning and drowning!
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Totally missed the mark there, with the assumption about atheist beliefs. Just because some people do not believe in God does not necessarily mean that they think humans are inherently bad. Matter of fact, many people in the non-religious mindset simply do not think in terms of “good” and “evil.” That sort of dichotomy is a product of absolute ethics, which are just as subjective as any other belief system
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Totally missed the mark there, with the assumption about atheist beliefs. Just because some people do not believe in God does not necessarily mean that they think humans are inherently bad. Matter of fact, many people in the non-religious mindset simply do not think in terms of “good” and “evil.” That sort of dichotomy is a product of absolute ethics, which are just as subjective as any other belief system. You should probably learn more about atheism before attacking it falsely.
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Okay, you’ve got a wacky assumption here. You say atheists think evil is our primary nature. An atheist is just one who doesn’t believe in any god. In fact, atheists do a good job of proving that you can be a good person without being bullied into it by a supernatural guy with an eternal fire lake.
For a person to be like that, truly evil as his primary nature, he’d have to… I don’t know… love little other than injuring strangers for things they didn’t believe in, maybe.
I think I’m glad you have religion. It keeps the rest of us safer.
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The difference between atheists and Christians is that atheists are moral because they want to be. Christians are moral because they fear their god will burn them forever. I find the former to be more noble.
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“Atheists say evil is just our primal nature.”
None of the atheists I know say that. As a matter of fact, that statement sounds suspiciously like the Doctrine of Original Sin, a xian construct for the mind control of others.
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“That, i believe, is the fundamental difference between atheist and Christians”
I believe the fundamental difference you’re referring to is actually that atheists can control themselves, while christians need an imaginary friend to tell them to behave.
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I congratulate you, Squiggledorf, on controlling your violent impulses. However, I would strongly recommend psychological counciling over the underlying causes of them. Certainly I see things every day which are annoying, upsetting, even aggravating, but I don’t think I’ve ever expressed a wish to ‘beat the living tar out of’ an entire religion.
I hope you find peace.
-St. Jason
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Right, we atheist have evil in our nature. That would explain the horns and pointy tail.
So, has Jesus been talking to you lately? Or was it that other voice in your head? BTW, that other voice is not God either.
Atheists don’t say evil isn’t wrong or out of control. I’d like to know what idiot implanted that idea in your head, because he’s the evil one. Atheists might have a different view of what is evil, but we still have morals.
Just one tip; if you’re thinking of converting people to Christianity, one of the worst ways to do that is to sign with “Squiggledorf”. Seriously, could you imagine the new pope being called “squiggledorf”?
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holy crap. you are nuts!
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I’m afraid that you also claim that evil is just our primal nature: that’s what the whole concept of original sin boils down to. the fact that evil actions are within our nature doesn’t mean that they are either right or uncontrollable by any means.
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“Atheists say evil is just our primal nature. Christians say evil is both wrong and controllable.”
Doesn’t seem that way. Atheists believe that people can be moral and have a good society without religion. Christians believe that unless someone is threatening them with eternal damnation and goading them on with promises of paradise people will be evil.
So which one believes that people are fundamentally good? The one that asks people to be good for goodness sake, or the one that threatens sinners with physical violence?
Also: Squiggledorf? What kind of a crazy name is that?
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“Atheists say evil is just our primal nature” erm, nope.
I want the copy of the bible that says:
Yea verily and the Lord Jesus spoke unto them saying “Thou shalt not beat the ever living tar out of each and every one of them, because it is wrong” and he added “Ye shalt control you sinful impulses and be nice people”
That would be great.
Back to the original point tho – I’m an atheist & I don’t seem to have these near-uncontrollable violent urges to beat the ‘ever living tar’ out of anyone. I don’t seem to need a bronze-age ’self help’ book to tell me how to be nice, I just am. Maybe my evil ‘prime nature’ is not up to much, I’ll have to work harder on it.
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“Atheists say evil is just our primal nature.”
Umm… Has any atheist ever said that to you, personally? I ask this because that sort of statement would be somewhat incomplete. As for the rest of your message: If LORD Jesus is the only thing that stands between you and committing violent acts on your fellow humans, then you should be worried.
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Well that was quite a bipolar threat. Have a nice day?
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“I would love little more than to beat the ever living tar out of each and every one of you”
And i don’t want to beat you, so i dont need controlling, says alot about you christians huh?
“Atheists say evil is just our primal nature”
No, no they don’t. Atheists primarily believe that humans are naturally good people, seeing as the primitive parts of our brain are hard-wired to be empathetic and all.
Why dont you tell Sweden, an 85% atheist country with a crime rate far lower than america, ya know why dont you just tell all these countries why you’d like to beat them up [http://www.adherents.com/largecom/com_atheist.html]
Not that you could because after all non-believers are about 1.1 billion in number
So yeah, you’re a sick and twisted person who needs help, and i recommend proffesional help rather than a pastor, he’d just make things worse… and who knows he might even sodomise you
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So just to be clear, you think it’s OK to do violence to people because sometimes it’s hard to listen to an imaginary man in the sky? Additionally you believe that atheists think that evil is our primal nature?
Let me address these points in order as i see them.
1) “I would love little more than to beat the ever living tar out of each and every one of you. However, Jesus says i shouldn’t, because it is wrong.”
The fact that you would “love little more” than to do violence is indicative of some serious psychological issues that you should probably investigate with the help of a medically trained professional. The fact that you only refrain from said violence because a zombie tells you not to further indicates your delusional state. However, let’s actually look to your ‘good’ book shall we? In Galatians 5:14 Paul says “YOU SHALL LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR AS YOURSELF.” and goes on to say (5:20-21) that those who practice things such as enmities, strife, outbursts of anger, disputes, and things like these will not inherit the kingdom of god. In the book of James (1:26), James says “If anyone thinks himself to be religious, and yet does not bridle his tongue but deceives his own heart, this man’s religion is worthless”. It appears that your anonymous flaming of people on the internet is leading you on a path straight to your hell… There are countless other verses that i could quote but i don’t think it will matter.
2) “I want to be a nice person, and whenever im not as nice as i could be i say to myself,the greatest glory is not in never failing but in rising each time you fall.”
I have two problems with this statement; first, to profess that you want to be a nice person after stating your desire to do violence indicates that in fact you do not want to be a nice person. If you truly wanted to be a nice person you would find something else to do than flame people for their beliefs. Secondly, I have a really hard time with someone as hateful as you seem to be quoting someone like Nelson Mandela. In the same book that Mr Mandela makes the above ‘glory’ quote, he also says “No one is born hating another person because of the colour of his skin, or his background, or his religion. People must learn to hate, and if they can learn to hate, they can be taught to love, for love comes more naturally to the human heart than its opposite.”. So it would seem that you have been taught to hate by the religious zealots that you have thrown your lot with. You hate others merely because they don’t believe in “god” the same way that you do. Doesn’t that seem a little childish? To me that seems about as childish as hating someone because they decorate their house differently than you do, or driving a different car than you do. It just doesn’t make sense. I agree Mr. Mandela love for your fellow man does come fairly easy especially if you can love yourself.
3) That, i believe, is the fundamental difference between atheist and Christians. Atheists say evil is just our primal nature. Christians say evil is both wrong and controllable. May the LORD Jesus rule over God’s people forever Amen
Your belief regarding the fundamental difference between theists and atheists is factually incorrect. The fundamental difference between the two is simply that theists have the doctrine or belief in the existence of a god or gods and atheists DO NOT. I am not making this up, i pulled that definition straight out of Google (define: theism). Now i cannot speak for all atheists everywhere but to posit that we think evil is just primal nature is like saying that the nature of ice cream is neither the ice nor the cream, but in fact unicorns. While evil (like gods) may in fact exist, i’ve never experienced any measurable evidence of it so i will continue to interact with people as though they are just people and not evil incarnate. I will do the same with ice cream, that is to say that i will continue to believe that ice cream is in fact very cold (shall we go so far as to say iced?) cream with a variety of flavoring agents added, none of which are measurably unicorns. Atheists ALSO say that treating people poorly (call it evil if you must) is both wrong and controllable. I prefer to think of this as “personal responsibility”. In other words I like to behave rationally and with compassion both by myself and in the presence of others, not because some mythical god-zombie tells me i should but because it is beneficial to all involved.
May intelligence and rational thought triumph over ignorance and fear.
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Did our FSM creator put tar in us? Living tar? I was taught by the FSM to only love those less enlightened than myself and not to hate. I shall sacrifice a plate of spaghetti in hopes of saving Squiggledorf. Is it wrong for me to care for the unenlightened?
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I just can’t have any respect for someone who refers to themselves as Squiggledorf.
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I think evil is wrong and controllable, just like christianity is wrong and controllable!
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i agree wit this guy
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i agree with this guy
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Jesus also said that you can move mountains by praying, he was wrong and a liar.
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We may or may not contain contain tar – living or otherwise – but you are definitely full of shit.
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“I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ.”
— Mahatma Gandhi
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I’m glad that you need some 2,000 year old book to help you do right.
Most of use don’t need the stories of some man from thousands of years ago to do right. Despite the SN I don’t go around hurting random people because it’s wrong. Why is it wrong? Because it hurts people and causes pain and I don’t want to do that, even to people I disagree with.
Atheists don’t belive that evil is an uncontroable part of our nature. They believe that you can do good without the fear of hell.
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Holy crap, there’s tar living inside of me. Quick, get it out! Hold on the beating part, please. Can’t you pray or something?
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139- He meant figuratively, not literally. It’s quite obvious that you didn’t listen during church, little boy. You should go back to your studies.
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This guy gets my Moron of the Month Award, it would be nice if people would just leave us alone.
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Is he punching us for Jeebus or not? I have better things to do than to read his whining.
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leave it to some bible carrier to threaten violence towards another religon. its not the first time some christian asshole decided to harass people for their beliefs.
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wow how idiotic and psychotic you morons are i hope the true light of christ will eventually reach you and matty its a figure of speech wow ignorance rules all of your lives
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none of you respond because in your heart you know you are wrong in your personal path LONG LIVE CRUSADERS OF GOD!!!!!!!!!!!
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LONG LIVE CRUSADERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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