I would love little more than to beat the ever living tar out of each and every one of you. However, Jesus says i shouldn’t, because it is wrong. Jesus says for us to control our sinful impulses and be nice people. I want to be a nice person, and whenever im not as nice as i could be i say to myself,the greatest glory is not in never failing but in rising each time you fall. That, i believe, is the fundamental difference between atheist and Christians. Atheists say evil is just our primal nature. Christians say evil is both wrong and controllable. May the LORD Jesus rule over God’s people forever Amen.
-Squiggledorf
I would love to beat the living tar out of each and every one of you
Published by Bobby Henderson November 18th, 2008 in Hate Mail (and concerned criticism). 395 Comments
395 Responses to “I would love to beat the living tar out of each and every one of you”
So, the essence of your message is that it doesn’t matter how evil you are or how evil you act today, you can always rise above it or crawl back from it, right? That’s soooooo cool! I feel like going out tonight and beating someone up, knowing that tomorrow, I can reflect, realize it was wrong, and then feel better about myself! Yay, I like it! Much better than being accountable to yourself for your own actions.
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You don’t understand anything about atheists. Atheists don’t believe in any god, so there is no absolute good or evil. Human nature (or the nature of any other animal, for that matter) is NOT inherently evil, but rather, inherently neutral, and relies upon context to be classified as moral, immoral, or neither. And, for the record, most atheists do believe that people can control their behavior, and can (and should) choose to act morally. For example, should I feel the need to beat you up for your incredibly rude remarks (I don’t, because I’m not a violent person, but let’s suppose that I do), I would not do so for several reasons: 1) It’s illegal 2) You could hurt me 3) For all I know, you have a kid (or dog, or goldfish) who relies on you, and I would not punish an innocent just because you are being a jerk 4) It wouldn’t solve anything – you’d still hate me, I’d still hate you, and I’d need to take a shower 5) You seem to be under the impression that physical violence is a viable response to offending remarks, and I wouldn’t want to encourage that 6) We’d both probably be in an even worse mood then before, and we’d probably take it out on the people around us 7) Well, you get the point, don’t you? Lack of a belief in god does NOT mean that one lacks a belief in morality – it just means that we have to make decisions about what it right and wrong on our own, instead of relying on an absent third party to tell us. RAmen, and I hope you decide to do some research the next time you go around randomly insulting people (it would be the moral thing to do, and you wouldn’t come off as such an ignorant jerk).
-Sarah
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It seems you have alot of HUMAN emotion pent up inside, instead of “gods love” that you probably want everyone to think you have.
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“Atheists say evil is just our primal nature.”
Where did you get that pile of shit?
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It’s always sad but typical to read about the violence that these supposedly religious people want to inflict on unbelievers, just because we won’t accept their ideas on blind faith. Bill Maher hit it in “Religulous” when he thanked some friendly people for being “…christ-like, not christian.”
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As an atheist, I do good for goodness sake. Just look at your reaction to us. Funny thing, I wouldn’t want to beat you up just because I met you on the street.
You are just further evidence of evolution.
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I think you’re confusing “atheist” and “legalist”
I don’t think people are naturally evil, nor naturally good. We’re naturally human. I believe that love is a powerful thing, much like most Christians contend to, but I don’t believe in the way it is presented.
A lot of the Pastafarians here will classify this as a “satire”, and in some ways it is, but it spreads the belief of love and tolerance, or at least tries to. Even here there is intolerance, but that can’t be helped/
I think everyone just needs to understand, whether they’re Muslim, Christian, Jewish, Pastafarian, Hindu, etc. that we’re really not going to make this work unless we put aside our differences.
And that’s why your letter makes me angry. Do you think you can threaten/scare/intimidate us into believing what you want us to believe?
Because otherwise, if you’ve got nothing nice to say, shut your trap.
Man, that was long,
Lizzie
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Pastafarians have never ever committed a crime against humanity. What’s your record? Christians killed millions and counting.
So what was your point again?
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Huh. Wonder who this could possibly be. I can’t imagine.
Last time I checked, the xian idea was that everyone was born with something called *original sin*, kinda like saying that evil is inborn in everyone. I don’t recall where it is written that atheists say evil is *our primal nature*. All of the atheists that I know personally believe evil to be wrong and controllable. You really should check in with the real world once in a while, Christian. Oops, I meant to say Squiggledorf. Hope I didn’t blow your cover.
That Jesus fella has been dead for centuries. He isn’t about to rule over anything. He’s dead. Get used to it.
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First of all, Mr. Squiggledorf, we may say that evil is our primal nature, but that doesn’t mean we should follow it. Second of all, I highly recommend that next time you try to convert other people to your religion, you do not start out with a threat. that is a definite deal breaker. Lastly, your name is fucking stupid.
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You sure don’t know much about atheists. Atheists do not say that evil is our primal nature. That’s what your church tells you you are supposed to think. Why don’t you try asking an Atheist or two, instead of pretending like you know?
Guess what, I want to be a nice person too. Whenever I’m not as nice as I could be, I say: “I messed up. Now I have to live with what I did, because no god is going to bail me out. So I’d better take responsibility for my actions, and try to fix the mess I made and do better next time. Because Life is Once, and all we have is Each Other.”
Leave me out of your “god’s people”. May you be touched by the Noodly Appendage.
RAmen
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Okay, let’s take this sentence by sentence, shall we?
“I would love little more than to beat the ever living tar out of each and every one of you.”
Good for you. Ever been to a psychiatric hospital? Cause’ that’s where you’re heading if this is how you talk all the time to people who have a difference of opinion than you.
“However, Jesus says i shouldn’t, because it is wrong.”
So is posting Hate Mail, but that is besides the point. I am glad there is Christianity, and I am glad it has survived all these years, because even through horrible Christian wars, such as the crusades where they massacred many innocent Muslims and Jews for a plot of land, without Christianity the Psych Wards and Jails might be completely full with people that would’ve been Christians but aren’t, that killed people over disagreements. Some Christians (such as yourself) need strict moral values with a threat of eternal damnation to keep them in line. The sane part of the population, however, can comply with flimsy moral values, no threat of eternal damnation, and common sense.
“Jesus says for us to control our sinful impulses and be nice people.”
See Above. Although I’m pretty sure telling people you’d like to beat the tar out of them is quite sinful, in my opinion.
“I want to be a nice person, and whenever im not as nice as i could be i say to myself,the greatest glory is not in never failing but in rising each time you fall.”
Okay, then don’t post hate mail. We’re not doing a thing to you. And I think what you’re saying is that as long as you’re nice later after being a cruel, evil person, its okay.
“That, i believe, is the fundamental difference between atheist and Christians.”
Yes, I would say so to. Most atheists, and most people in general think that just being nice later doesn’t make up for being cruel and evil.
“Atheists say evil is just our primal nature.”
Actually, very few atheists think this. Most I know believe in an inner good or just in an inner want for attention which drives them to do good or bad things, for attention. Such as you. You probably did this whole post because you have no friends and no life and need to write something to get all your anger at yourself out. I suggest a diary, or if you’d like to call it a journal that’s okay to. It’s still extremely girly, It will still be constantly stolen by people you know, and you will still be made fun of for it by people you don’t know. So actually, that’s a very bad idea. Maybe you should stick to hate mail.
“Christians say evil is both wrong and controllable.”
Some atheists say that too.
“May the LORD Jesus rule over God’s people forever Amen.”
Yes. May the 2000-year old zombie-guy rule over HIS people in Rome. No, that’s not fair, that’s pushing Christianity on the Romans. Ramen.
“-Squiggledorf”
*snicker* hehe… *bursts out laughing* BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
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Absolutely agree. I hope Lord Jesus rules over his people forever too, and leaves the rest of us free thinking types alone. You should take a leaf from his book, mate. Go on, turn the other cheek and away on your bike.
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“I would love little more than to beat the ever living tar out of each and every one of you.”
“I want to be a nice person”
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“That, i believe, is the fundamental difference between atheist and Christians. Atheists say evil is just our primal nature. Christians say evil is both wrong and controllable.”
I think you forgot a part. You seem to think that just because someone acknowledges that evil is primal, that they would not try to control it. Just because evil is our primal nature (and it is) does not mean an atheist would not try to better themselves. In fact, I personally think that it is a good sight more demanding to acknowledge that it is a primal thing and to contain it, and try to be a better person regardless of it. You seem to think that just because someone acknowledges that evil is primal, that they would not try to control it. Secondly, your belief adheres to the fact that it wasn’t your fault, it was Eve’s, who was convinced by a talking snake to sin.
Also, isn’t “evil” primarily determined by perspective? Evil to one may be the tenet of another person’s belief.
Like Christians.
Your religion has killed thousands and millions because they didn’t agree with you. Isn’t that evil?
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also tar is not alive
just thought id throw that in there
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Tis so sad that people believe this and that we can’t contact them to respond.
Oh well. Just to get it out:
Why do you think atheists believe we should all be evil? I don’t think that, and I don’t believe that, and I don’t think anyone on this board does either. Going around and being evil isn’t nice. While atheists don’t believe morality is given from god, we do believe it is mutually beneficial to be nice to one another. I don’t want to be killed (I value the one life I get), and so I agree not to kill you and hope you return the favor. I don’t want my child to get raped, and so I don’t go around other children. Maybe someone should teach that to the Vatican preachers… Every mom knows this to be the case. “How would you feel if your brother did that to you?”
I would even go as far as to say that as a whole, atheists are MORE moral that theists.
From here I could go talk about the Inquisition, Crusades, the Holocaust (Antisemitism started because of Christians. Sorry. This one is your burden.) ect. If you were hip on stock church responses, you would say atheists have the burden of Stalin and Hitler. First of all, Hitler was raised Catholic, and I couldn’t find any evidence otherwise. Even accepting Hitler as an atheist, the dreadful duo didn’t commit their treacheries because they were an atheist. As far as I know, no one has strapped a bomb to their chest and blown up a church yelling “For nothing!” Blaming Soviet deeds on atheism would be like saying Hitler killed Jews because he had facial hair. It is true that he has facial hair, but that has nothing to do with anything.
I am trying to understand your unbacked assertion that atheists don’t care if you are evil. I notice the word “primal” and that tips me off that you may be referring to evolution. If this is the case, your argument would have to be “We came from animals so we should act like animals.” This logic has two flaws: Firstly, those animals that live in packs have to be nice, or the pack won’t work. Humans are the ultimate pack, and should be nice to each other to survive. If you look at the state of the world, we aren’t much better at being nice than animals. As you pointed out, evil is in us, but we have to try to repress it.
Secondly, we shouldn’t act like that which we came from. I believe stem cell research is outlawed by Christians because you are “playing God”. Acting like God is obviously wrong =p. I would feel rather uncomfortable if 80% of America acted like Yahweh. One Yahweh did enough damage in the bible.
Religion actually brings out the bad in people. You think our religion is stupid, and your religion makes you hate us. You want to beat the living tar (I believe they may be called “guts”) out of all of us. I feel your belief is equally unjustified and silly, yet I feel no violent urges toward you. Could it be that God makes atheists more moral than theists? :D
As saint George Carlin said, if religion keeps you from killing people, you should be locked up in a church, or psychiatric ward. If through God is the only way you can be moral, you are a weaker man than I, but you should keep going to church. Religion is only a quick fix, though. You should really go see a shrink.
If you do see this and wish to respond, I would be more than happy to beat the intellectual living tar out of any of you. If anyone wishes to debate with me, my e-mail is fsmftwbbq AT gmail DOT com.
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Doesn’t the bible claim that humans are inherently evil? Because of the apple, in the garden? Nowhere do Atheists say that humans are inherently evil, anyway. I believe in the strength of the human spirit, especially when clothed in pirate regalia.
Ramen.
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Peace and Love to you too
RAmen
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Yeah, you’re retarded, you think our “evil nature” is just a test that god has placed upon us and you proceed to think of it as “sin” to do anything related to a perceivable sin. Whereas atheists realize what evil is and also try to become better people, but not by rejecting who we are because to reject our own minds and bodies as a test of our resistance to god’s influence of evil upon us is really just treason to the continued existence of your own life and happiness.
In other words, don’t hate yourself just because you want to hit some stupid idiot, he warranted the thought by being stupid. And if you do hate yourself for it; have a good life of depression from all your “evil” thoughts raining down upon you.
RAmen Mateys!
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Squiggledorf – I am nearly rendered speechless by the acuity of your arguments – actually just kidding you sad 12 year old.
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“Atheists say evil is just our primal nature”
Correction: SOME Atheists say evil is just our primal nature. No group of atheists has the exact same views, sorry to tell you.
Evil is wrong and controllable… and most of the time is caused by your fucking religion.
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@ Squiggledorf (I have several, unorganized thoughts but I will orgainize them in the order they popped into my head or i’ll try to at least; some are random)
1) I think I can take you and your Jesus so bring it.
2) How do you know that Jesus tells what to do and what not to do? Have you met Jesus? Do you talk to him regularly? Unless of course, you are a few thousand years old and you spoke with Jesus, which is doubtful seeing as it’s not possible for a person to live that long. There is the possibility that you know a hispanic person named Jesus, but then you would have the two confused.
3) If you have to tell yourself to be nice, then methinks that you’re just a mean person.
4) Atheists may say that evil is natural. Meaning, people committing evil is NOT the work of a devil-like being! Is that really that hard to grasp? I think you fail to see that by saying evil is natural, that atheists are saying that it is merely what people have in them to do and NOT (I REPEAT) THE WORK OF A DEVIL-LIKE BEING. There are morals that people have placed on society that allow people to define “good and evil.” By saying evil is natural, it is NOT saying that people will ALWAYS be “evil.” Moral values in society make people do “good.” But besides all that, “good and evil” is hard to define, because in one person’s eyes something that is “good” for one person, may be “evil” to another. And, everything is not always black-and-white. There may be different reasons as to why someone comitted an “evil” and it may be a good cause. Murdering someone is a sin, right? Well, murdering someone is killing someone. So when Saddam Hussein was executed, technically it was murder. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying I want him alive, but it was an “evil” (murder), but do you think it would be better if he were still alive? If not, then that “evil” was comitted for “good.” As I said, everything is not always black and white.
5) You are just another Christian that does not think things through. I am done. Thank you.
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“I would love little more than to beat the ever living tar out of each and every one of you.”
“Christians say evil is both wrong and controllable.”
At one point you’re saying that evil is natural, but then you say it’s wrong and controllable… if you were “controlled” (just the word I was thinking actually, whenever I read hate mail) you wouldn’t say that you’d love to beat the living “tar” (you can cuss on the Internet you know, your mum isn’t going to give you a spanking) out of us.
“Atheists say evil is just our primal nature.”
Confusing Atheism with Social Darwinism, are we?
“Jesus says for us to control our sinful impulses and be nice people.”
http://nobeliefs.com/jesus.htm
Gotta love that zombie prophet now, don’t you?
“Christians say evil is both wrong and controllable.”
Had to quote this again simply for some lulz… ever hear of the Crusades? That was some great restraint you showed.
“May the LORD Jesus rule over God’s people forever Amen.”
Essentially, you’re saying that the Lord is not God? Just Jesus? Have fun telling churches you’re a Christian.
May his noodliness save thy soul and keepeth thee from STD’s and stale beer.
RAmen
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“Atheists say evil is just our primal nature” – As an Atheist, allow me to correct your misunderstanding.
I’d say evil is a theological construct that arose from the Zoroastrian influence of moral dualism on Judaism and early Christianity.
As an Atheist, I’d also say that you are evidence that ignorance is our primal nature. The fundamental difference is I believe we don’t have to stay that way.
May you be touched by the noodly appendage of wisdom.
RAmen
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You desire violence and the pain of others who think differently from you. Saying it and then name-dropping Jesus does not make it go away. You need to stop hating others, stop telling yourself you know something about what some group of others (”atheists”) believe, because guess what, you really don’t know. That’s the way minds work. You don’t know.
If you are really interested in self-improvement, whether through Jesus or some other avenue, you ought to work on (1)your seething hatred, and (2)your apparently non-existent sense of humor. At the moment, you are being held up to the Internet as an example of someone who does not have control of their emotions, and cannot restrain themselves from faulting others and telling them how they ought to live. You are not successfully arguing the case that someone should be a Christian. You yourself are a bad example, and may want to just keep your opinions to yourself until you work on numbers (1) and (2) above.
There’s really nothing to get so worked up about. Jesus said that all men are his brothers, and that even the least of these are, in fact, Him. So everyone who is part of the COTFSM is Jesus. And you, if you desire to truly be a good christian, should be behaving accordingly.
In other words, stop being rude to Jesus.
Thanks!
:)
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Why is Squiggledorf talking to us about atheism? We have a God, and he is al dente.
RAmen.
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First of, my body contains no traces of living tar, deceased tar, or inanimate tar for that matter.
Secondly, if you despise us so, why even come to this website? We are not forcing you at gun point to listen to us.
Thirdly, how do you know what Jesus said? that story it 2000 years old at least. You figure for a good portion of it the story was passed on verbally, and then edited by that court in the 1300’s, and translated a few dozen times, so I personally rather greatly doubt that story is more than 10% accurate.
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There’s no evil from christians then?
Righty-ho.
I heard a rumour that your mate Jesus was fond of a bit of willy. Is this true?
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People like us have the ability to control our anger ourselves, not because a zombie tells us it is worng. That is the fundamental difference between believers of the FSM and the christians.
RAmen
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Squiggledorf, I think you’ll find that it is Christians who teach that evil is our primal nature, and that an individual must work to overcome it – or don’t you recall the doctrine of original sin?
As for doing good deeds because Jesus (or God or Allah or your dad) tells you to do them – good on yer! But I think the world would be a better place if all people did good deeds because it is just the right thing to do.
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Actually, it’’s not really atheists that believe that. It’s Hobbes. You’re confusing your famous political philosophers with groups of people. A common mistake, so don’t worry.
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Squiggledorf?? lolol!!!
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Squiggledork… lol!
Hope this didn’t post twice, sorry if it did.
RAmen
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Ha Ha, he’s called Squiggledorf, oh by the way the fundamental difference between Christians and Atheists is the fact the atheist dont belive in God. I thought that would be obvious
oh well
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“i wanna kill you all you should die and go to hell but jesus says no so i won’t”
seriously, Squiggie, you sound ridiculous.
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I would love little more than having sex with Natalie Portman and Salma Hayek at the same time, I win! Jesus says I should and videotape it.
Secondly, Calm the hell down!!! I wouldn’t categorize wanting to “beat the living tar” out of complete strangers not as a sin but as extreme sociopathic behavior. “I want to be a nice person” but I have all these issues of wanting to beat people up, maybe instead of going to church you should be medicated.
Atheists don’t say evil is primal nature they say it is the result of brain/body chemistry, upbringing, social contexts, and other rational and observable factors.
Ramen
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Please post your comments on an atheist site then. They don’t seem to be addressed to FSM.
BTW, Squiggledorf is a silly name. You aren’t doing your credibility any favours using that name.
Oh and also, failing and then sayng I will be better next time and then failing again is failing. The point is to learn so that next time you don’t fail. The only being that can help you with that is you.
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Atheists do not say evil is just our primal nature. A major difference between your ethics and Atheist ethics is that you wish to do evil things, but refrain from doing so out of fear (as stated in the beginning of your message). Atheists understand that evil acts like “beating the ever living tar” out of our fellow humans is not constructive and does not contribute to a peaceful, functioning society, therefor we do not even wish to do such things. Essentially, you’re operating under a carrot and stick system of discipline, without any internal knowledge of why you should act that way (other than “cuz Jesus said so”). Atheists understand the philosophy behind morality, so we do not require simplistic parables to inform our behavior. We just do the right thing because we know that is what works best for ourselves and for society. Best part is, there is no fear, hate or anger involved. Sounds like heaven doesn’t it?
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Are you retarded?
Religions start wars. Lots and lots of wars. Atheists, or at least the vast, vast majority of us, have no desire for war. Atheists want advancement, which is sort of the opposite of war.
Also, Christians are “nice people” because they are afraid of going to Hell, and because they were told to be nice people by a cosmic Jewish zombie that was his own father. Atheists are nice people – aside from making fun of the occasional religious nuts – because they are nice people. They came to the conclusion that being nice is better than being not nice on their own, with no threat from a talking sky man or fear of burning eternally.
– Atheists say evil is just our primal nature. Christians say evil is both wrong and controllable.
You made absolutely no point there. Christians can say that evil is wrong and controllable, but that doesn’t mean that it’s not still our primal nature. Point-making Fail. Atheists believe that it can and should be controlled, but that doesn’t make it any less of our nature. Seriously.
And, just so you know, “Squiggledorf” makes you sound like a four year old.
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Hahaha.
You’re a funny little hypocrite, aren’t you?
I find it very sad and pathetic that the human race has been reduced to this, to ignorant, offensive people such as yourself. Unlike Christians, Atheists to no believe in any doctrine. They don’t need someone else’s guidelines to manage their lives. A person can live moraly without sleeping with a bible under their pillow, without depriving themselves of certain needs and rights. Religion is the main source of any prejudice, any discrimination in our sadly, very primitive society. We are so afraid of relying on ourselves and our own judgement that we need to follow ridiculous guidelines that were written hundreds of years ago, let ourselves be manipulated by our communities, and by some of our leaders.
To say that “Atheists say evil is just our primal nature” is a completely false and ignorant statement. We don’t “say” anything, we don’t BELIEVE any bullshit. We are strong enough and SMART enough to live by our own rules.
On the other hand…isn’t ruining someone’s life, making them feel worthless for who they are because of their sexual orientation, because of who they are, evil? In my humble opinion, destroying a person’s self-esteem for the rest of their life over a few lines in an acient book, is not only evil, it is RIDICULOUS! It is a disgrace!
What about forcing a teenage rape victim to give birth to her abuser’s child? That’s a nice thing to do! Over a little gooey foetus that does’t know what the fuck is going on anyways. Great logic there.
How about keeping women submissive throughout history? Nice, charming. “Time to cut of you clitoris! God obviously made a mistake when he gave you that thing!”
(Of course I don’t mean to accuse all believers of being discrimanitive imbeciles, I know perfectly well that a person can be religious without being a complete asshole…in fact, I believe at the very base, religion is a good thing…but there will always be people who will take it and turn it to their advantage, and therefore breed generations of moronic followers, such as yourself!).
I doubt this will make you SEE THE LIGHT, dear Squiggledorf (What a charming nickname by the way), but hopefully someone will read this and be reassured that they are not crazy. NO, there is no bearded man in the sky listening to our thoughts. YES, most of planet earth has a collective IQ of 34!
AMEN.
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you are the reason churches like this exist.
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“Atheists say evil is just our primal nature.”
Oh hey there, Mr. Strawman.
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You are a fucking lunatic. Fuck off, asshole.
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And His Noodley Goodness says to not “beat the living tar” out of you because it’s not nice, so I guess we’re even?
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first: we believe that evil is wrong more so than most Christians. we are more selfless in our acts of kindness, because Christians are following orders, trying to get into heaven, and/or get away from hell.
second: you blatantly admit that all you’re doing is following orders. I, an atheist, would like to beat the living tar out you, but I will not because I have a sense of common decency. not someone saying,”no.”
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Well, If you ever decide you just can’t hold it back and you just have to beat someone up, you can start with me.
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Well, ummm Mr. Squiggledorf, I’m very proud of you for resisting the urge to beat us down telepathically through the magic of the INTERNET.
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Well, at least your faith is strong enough to keep you from beating people up. I just don’t understand why you need the sky fairy to tell you that it’s wrong.
Here’s a question: Have you ever been told something in church that you didn’t really all ready know? Do you really need to go somewhere once a week and be taught common sense? And then give some money for this obvious advise?
“Atheists say evil is just our primal nature. Christians say evil is both wrong and controllable.”
No,atheists know evil is wrong and can be controlled, and we don’t need to go somewhere once a week and pay someone to tell us. We’re too smart for that.
Apparently christians aren’t.
P.S. “Squiggledorf” ??
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Im an atheist, and I say “evil” is wrong and controllable too. As I see it, the real difference is that I say society dictates what is evil and what is not, christians say god or Jesus dictates.
I do what is right because I believe in playing by society’s rules (which can be very unforgiving), you do what is right because jesus (who will forgive you no matter what the fuck you do as long as you repent before you die)tells you too…
It would seem that I have a lot more to fear from you than you do from me, my friend.
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