I would love little more than to beat the ever living tar out of each and every one of you. However, Jesus says i shouldn’t, because it is wrong. Jesus says for us to control our sinful impulses and be nice people. I want to be a nice person, and whenever im not as nice as i could be i say to myself,the greatest glory is not in never failing but in rising each time you fall. That, i believe, is the fundamental difference between atheist and Christians. Atheists say evil is just our primal nature. Christians say evil is both wrong and controllable. May the LORD Jesus rule over God’s people forever Amen.
-Squiggledorf
I would love to beat the living tar out of each and every one of you
Published by Bobby Henderson November 18th, 2008 in Hate Mail (and concerned criticism). 395 Comments
395 Responses to “I would love to beat the living tar out of each and every one of you”
Squiggledorf,
In regards to your voiced desire to cause us physical harm, I paraphrase the words of the “great” 21st century “thinker” G. W. Bush: Bring it on.
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Maybe if your god ruled over you a little more, these violent thoughts would not bother you.
Of course, I become peaceful and lazy when eating too much spaghetti.
Ramen!
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“Atheists say evil is just our primal nature. ”
Actually, atheists say the world isn’t as clear-cut black and white as you xians think it is.
… and your name doesn’t allow me to take this message seriously.
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isn’t not beating atheists up because of jesus make you an evil person?
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It’s intresting to see that you believe us to embrace ‘evil as our primal nature.’ Honestly, I’m not exactly sure how you got that idea. We’re certainly not the ones throwing ourselves into Holy wars that last for hundred of years, and we’re certainly not the ones that inflict pain upon ourselves and others in an attempt to purify. Might want to look into some of the things done to the people who disagreed with the Church, and tell me again we’re the ones commiting ‘evil’.
RAmen and may his noodly appendage touch you.
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“Atheists say evil is just our primal nature. Christians say evil is both wrong and controllable.” WTF? So Atheists think evil is not wrong nor controllable? Really?
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Hi Squiggledorf. Thank you for your kind words, and managing not to beat the living tar out of us. Believe it or not even though I am an atheist I have no desire to harm you or your fellow Christians. The fundamental difference between this atheist and you is that I control myself and vicious sod that you are, you need a threat of damnation to control yourself. I am better than you.
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Hi Squiggledorf. Thank you for your kind words, and managing not to beat the living tar out of us. Believe it or not even though I am an atheist I have no desire to harm you or your fellow Christians. The fundamental difference between this atheist and you is that I control myself and vicious sod that you are, you need a threat of damnation to control yourself. I am better than you.
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Wow – another “christian” showin’ the love!
Squiggldorf – your line that “the greatest glory is not in never failing but in rising each time you fall” is a little scary. I feel you may use it as an option to act out on your desire to “beat the tar” out of someone simply because their belief is different than yours, then “repent” and ask god/jesus for forgivness for sinning. How convenient! I, on the other hand, being an athiest/Pastafarian, would never, ever beat the tar out of you, or anyone else. IT-IS-WRONG!!! Period. I know that without having a god to threaten me with eternal damnation for sinning, or the VERY flawed “reasoning” that I can commit any sin I wish, claim remorse and ask/pray for forgivness, and be absolved of my sin and still go to heaven.
May you one day be touched by his noodley appendage.
RAmen.
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Want my address asshole?
…and the fundamental (notice the word mental in there?) difference between atheists and Xtians is atheists demand evidence before accepting anything be truth, and Xtians or any other religious followers (pick one) gobble up dogma like bums at a free spaghetti supper. Now run along and play and if you ever get the notion to think for yourself, try picking up an encyclopedia.
…dorf seems appropriate.
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Legend Of the Red Dragon?
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Strawman. I don’t know any atheists who say that “evil is just our primal nature.” In fact, I think most atheists would say, “Hey look! I can be good simply because it is the right thing to do, not just because I’m bribed with heaven or threatened with hell, and certainly not just because my invisible friend tells me to.”
p.s. Squiggledorf. I like your name.
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Oh dear, oh dear…
Why are you moaning about Atheist’s? We believe in his Holy Noodliness the Flying Spaghetti Monster – belief in a God does an Atheist not make.
There are also a couple of things you omit from your post…
Atheists do say that evil is just our primal nature – but you don’t say that Athesits then add that it is wrong and needs to be controlled.
If your God made us then he gave us this primal nature, that was a bit of a stupid thing to do then wasn’t it?
How many Wars have been held in the name of Atheism of The Flying Spaghetti Monster? None. How many Atheistic Terrorist have you seen bombing people on the news? How many time have you seen Atheistic S
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I don’t know if my comment made it here first time – my laptop crashed – probably his Holy Noodliness’s way of chilling me out.
First up in answer to your ridiculous nonsense, we have a God and he’s better than yours so where all this “Athesim” is coming from I am a little unsure?
Secondly you don’t mention that although Atheists think that evil is just primal nature they also think that it needs to be controlled is a bad thing. If your God made us then he also made our Primal Nature and therefore it’s his fault that you want to “beat the living Tar” out of us…what a nice God – gives you a Primal, nasty, evil nature and then expects you to not use it!
Something for you to think about…
How many wars have been declared in the name of Atheism, how many terrorists have bombed people in the name of Atheism abd how many incidents have there been of Sectarian violence between Atheists (or for that matter between us of the Church of the FSM)?
Your God is nasty and if he does exist then he is a disgrace to all Gos out there. Our God is much better, convert now and you’ll enjoy the Beer Volcano and the Stripper Factory…
Laters you sad muppet!
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…and? I have quite a bit of experience with people like yourself, and none of those people have ever given a shit about what I think, so why should I give a shit what you think?
The door’s over there. Leave now, please, or i’ll show you evil. ;)
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Squiggledorf?
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“I would love little more than to beat the ever living tar out of each and every one of you.” Hhha! What a nice fellow, isn’t he? :)
anyway, this explains why clever people are reasoning against removing all religions: what would then control the mob of such moral heroes?
RAmen, brothers! The Rrrapture is near! Yarrr!
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>However, Jesus says i shouldn’t, because it is wrong.
Did you really need to hear it from Jesus to understand beating the living tar out of people is wrong? I worked it out all by myself. It wasn’t really hard either. . .
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I think the primary difference is probably that Atheists don’t believe in god where as Christians do.
>_>
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Ahh yes. Nothing like beating the “living tar” out of people for not having the same beliefs.
Heil Hitler to you too!
;-)
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Ahh, someone needs a hug… Poor baby… Does he feel unloved? Well you certainly came to the right place, everyone one is welcome – even unbelievers…. Now lie down and relax and think of meadows of beautiful flowers – calm breezes – peaceful surroundings – there isn’t that so much better than all that hate.
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You seem to forget that pride is as great a sin as any. Your holier than thou piety will most assuredly cast you down among the greatest of sinners. And there you shall dwell. Bereft of both pasta AND sauce for all time.
RAmen
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I know for a fact that as an Atheist I have never said nor do I believe that evil is “just our primal nature”. I just don’t believe in God. That doesn’t mean I think everyone is evil, nor am I evil. I do nice things for others because I like to, not because I’m trying to get a ticket to heaven. THAT is the fundamental difference.
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Good and evil is only an illusion that we humans create. Things just happen in the universe and have no ‘good’ or ‘evil’ assigned to it. We choose what is right and wrong based upon our interactions with other human beings and what is good for the species overall. The thing is with christians is that they think there is some external existing force. They then think they can ‘deem’ what is evil is and then set out to destroy it. There is nothing ‘evil’ about this site or atheists, and no one on this site deserves any ass beatings. Oh, but please….do try, I beg you.
RAmen
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Wow, what a self contradictory buffoon. It always amazes me that the only thing holding back a Christian like this from violence and harm is the thinly veiled lie of a super sky daddy that is looking over his shoulder.
Then he says that Atheists are the ones who say we are inherently evil? WTF? Looks like its a Christian who is saying this and that only his invisible friend is holding him back.
Hey, squiggle, why arent we all in jail? How come the hundreds of millions of us arent beating down doors and causing personal harm? Who are the ones we see day in and day out causing harm and terrorism, both here in the US and abroad. Hint, its not people who believe the only humans are responsible for their actions and reactions.
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Wait a second, wait a second–evil is WRONG ?!??!? I don’t get it–evil seems so… so… so primal.
Boy, if I wanted to beat the tar out of someone, well I’d just do it. I mean, with no God out there to tell me what to do, why, I’m just a lost little lamb (with brass knuckles) ready to follow whatever influences might come along.
That “thou shalt not kill” thing in the 10 Commandments–genius! It obviously took a deity to think of something like that. Mortals surely could never have come up with anything like that on their own. I’ll bet none of the other religions or societies in the world have anything like it!
And that part about “don’t covet your neighbor’s stuff”–that’s just great…wait a second, isn’t coveting your neighbor’s stuff what drives capitalism?
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Dear Squiggledorf,
It is nice of you to stop by, I am sure it will help the cause of interfaith dialogue. Your “impulses”(as you call them), though, do not seem to be healthy, and I suggest that you call 911 and turn yourself in immediately, as you may be a danger to yourself and others.
PS: So are you telling us that the crusades, the inquisition, the holocaust, and the actions of conquistadors were all “controllable”? Jeez, I wonder what they would be like if they were uncontrollable, as you seem to be.
His Noodliness the Flying Spaghetti Monster doesn’t need me to wish him glory because, unlike your god, he has all the glory he will ever need already.
Ramen
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If your greatest glory is not in never failing, but in rising each time you fail, then you must be out to achieve failure. Well, um… good luck in your endeavor.
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Well, there’s the difference right there. We evil atheists and pastafarians usually don’t even *want* to beat the “living tar” out of you, so there’s no imaginary warden needed for us to control our impulses.
You do see the difference, don’t you?
Cheers,
~Easy
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Thats whats great about being an atheist. I have no reason not to beat the “tar” out of religious fanatics and humanity hating zealots. I just can’t seem to find any of you idiots. You would think it would be easy considering how many of you there are. I live in So. Cal., look me up when you are in the neighboorhood. I would love to meet you.
Sean
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Oh yes, I see how succesful christians are at controlling violence and evil thoughts.
By the way, I Uruguay the congress passed a law authorizing abortions. The president vetoed the law sayng ‘as a christian, I can’t accept this’. Once again, christians legislate based on their personal conception.
I’m sick of them
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HMMMM?
So, why is it again that you feel compelled to”beat the living tar out of each and everyone” of us? Is it the atheist thing, the evil thing, or the don’t beileve in God thing. Please elaborate.
If it’s the evil thing, well; what did you say,”I want to be a nice person, and whenever I’m not as nice as i could be…” weellll. Isn’t that you not being able to control your emotions, giving in to your primal nature? Atheists and most christians recognize that even feeling evil is part of your nature, being HUMAN means you have the option to control it. The FSM said he would prefer that we be nice to each other. So once again, what’s the big problem?
RAmen!
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Atheists believe in morality and living a decent life and helping others more than most christians, you self-righteous asshole!
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Atheists believe in morality and living a decent life and helping others more than most christians, you self-righteous prick!
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How does a B-thumper / G-squadder know ANYTHING about me?
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All I can say is wow. So it sounds like to me that your basicly a good person because your afraid of a imaginary friend would not like it if your bad. And I am a good person because I CHOOSE to be. Good luck with that!
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The fundamental difference between atheists and christians are that atheists don’t believe in a god(s) while christians do (christ), thats what we are freakin named after. You’ll be happy to know that I’m not going around killing people just because I’m an athiest, but I find it unsettling that the only thing keeping you from doing likewise is the “words” of a guy whos very existance is debatable. By the way, that quote of yours, “the greatest glory is not in never failing but in rising each time you fall”, that was by Confucius, who was also debatably an “evil atheist”.
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Jesus is dead.
How can he rule if he’s dead?
Am I missing some important statement in the Bible that says “Zombies are watching you”?
Also.
THIS
IS
A
JOKE
RELIGION. We mean no offense to you Christians, but if attacked we will attack back. If you don’t like something, why go to it? Do you believe you can change our views?
No offense…
But that’s kinda stupid.
RAmen.
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“I would love little more than to beat the ever living tar out of each and every one of you.”
Yeah it does appear that christians really are kind-hearted gentle souls.
“Atheists say evil is just our primal nature.”
In a way, yes they do.
“Christians say evil is both wrong and controllable.”
And in what way does this mean atheists cannot believe this as well, there is no contradiction as you would have it appear. Because something is primal nature neither makes it right nor uncontrollable. In fact the fact it is in our primal nature yet we manage to control evil surely makes atheists all the more morally right, surely it is better to do something for the goodness of the action rather than the fact that maybe one day you’ll get burnt in hell if you don’t do it.
“May the LORD Jesus rule over God’s people forever Amen.”
He’s welcome to God’s people, just try not to interfere in my life while your reading your fictional books in the hope they have the ‘answers’.
All praise to FSM.
May ye be touched by his noodley appendage. RAmen.
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Atheists don’t say evil is just our primal nature. Atheists say that evil is when ignorance prevail. You should think about that.
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Kid: Mommy,I talked to this Christain dude and every time he said lord he screamed it out, even if he was in mid-sentence.
Mother:*Sigh* Its about time you and I had a talk about them, then.
*After the conversation*
Kid: Wow mommy, I thought weird people like that only existed in the olden days when people lived in caves.
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It’s sad; your religion is supposed to teach tolerance, and yet…
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Umm…what atheists say that?
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Dear Squiggledorf:
People don’t have living tar inside of them.
Sincerely,
Meisha
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Another day, but same Christian sh*t…
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So, he is only under control because he fears punishment from his god? What a joke. Alot of people that don’t believe in god(s) are nice too, but because it pleases them to be nice.
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Aaaahhhh come on. A bit of playful fisticuffs wouldn’t go amiss. No rabbit punches though.
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Why would you want to beat us up? First of all, not all of us are atheists. There are people here that belong to many different religions, in addition to the atheists you so despise. Secondly, most atheists I know, including some of my family members and dear friends, are good people that know right from wrong, and don’t have the desire to beat up those with differing religious views. (As a side note, most religious folk I know are also good people that know right from wrong and don’t have the desire to beat up those with differing views, but that may be because I am careful in deciding who I associate with.)
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I’ve only started here recently, so I’m not entirely sure what I’m reading… Is this a joke? No offense if it’s not. I’m just gonna post some thoughts, not necessarily directed at you, Squiggledorf. (Except the first paragraph.)
Jesus does tell us to control our “sinful impulses”, but doesn’t the Bible also teach that it’s what’s “in our heart” that matters? Whether you sin out loud or not, can’t God still “see into your heart”? So… God can see your desire and probably disapproves of you wanting to “beat the living tar out of each and every one of” us, HIS children. (Jesus would recommend that you “love your enemy”, to think kind thoughts about them until you TRULY love them. …..On the other hand, Jesus also tells us that we have to sell everything we own and abandon our families to follow him… But that’s okay, you can just ignore that part of the Bible.) Or does God say it’s okay to feel whatever the hell you wanna feel, as long as you don’t act on it? Come to think of it, it’s probably both. What am I doing using Bible examples? The Bible contradicts itself a thousand times, and can therefore be used to justify ANYTHING, no matter how evil or good… What I SHOULD be addressing are your assumptions about atheists vs Christians.
I’m an atheist and I CERTAINLY don’t think “evil is our primal nature”. Here’s why:
I’ll discuss “evil” first.
First of all, “evil” is a harsh word. It’s also a word I don’t believe in. I’ve always understood it to describe a badness that originates from a mythological demonic source. “BAD” definitely exists, we’ve all seen BAD, but to me, “EVIL” is nothing more than “BAD” with a superstitious twist.
Second, we all know that the things we consider “good and bad” change throughout the ages, no matter how religious you are. Shifting moral zeitgeist. What was considered “good” in the dark ages might be considered “bad” today. Or, based on geography, what’s considered “bad” in America might not be “bad” in tribal Africa, and vice-versa. We can even see differing opinions between neighbours! My neighbour may think eating meat is bad, but I may completely disagree.
So, which is it? Who is right? It would be impossible to decide, without first assuming that there is a definitive answer to right and wrong. (But “holy scripture tells us what’s right and wrong!” ….Which holy scripture? Yours? Why is yours the correct one, out of all the thousands to choose from? Because your parents told you so? Because you were born into it? Lucky you! But how would an atheist choose? None of the books are convincing. None of them match each other. They don’t even match within themselves. Clearly not the words of God… The true words of a god would be unflappable, unquestionable, they would be realistic and unchanging. Every holy book would match… but they don’t. What does that tell us? That AS LITTLE AS 99.999% of holy scripture is phony, written by humans and advertised as divine… And if you compare them to each other they will show that morals in the REAL world aren’t always so black & white.)
I think it’s a serious mistake to set ANY values in stone and stuff your ears with cotton, not letting any further pieces of information “contaminate your beliefs”. If you do this, the world around you will continue to change anyway, as history has shown, and you and your outdated morals will be left behind. We’ve seen it a million times; Religions appear and spiritually enslave their followers, they discourage knowledge, they suppress bright ideas and even execute the people who think of them, in order to maintain their power over the general population. Time passes and the religion loses its power, maybe it disappears entirely, and it’s eventually revealed that those “scary” ideas that people were executed for are actually correct, and those ideas end up becoming common knowledge. If it weren’t for the thousands of years of religious oppression that this world has seen, imagine the progress we could have made, and where our species might be today… Willful ignorance is never a good thing.
Religion aside, assuming there’s no god, then there is no absolute definition of right and wrong. Reality reflects this. It’s normal for different cultures and epochs and individuals to disagree on right and wrong, because morals and values are decided by society and by the individuals themselves, selected because of experience, research, and trial and error. Morals could not be given to us by an all-powerful creator, because if that were the case, if morality was truly divine and absolute, it would NEVER change and there would be no question about what’s right and what’s wrong, and logically all humans would automatically be born with matching values. (Satan causing chaos is a great cop-out response to this, as is the “He works in mysterious ways” argument, but to me that all just sounds like grasping at straws.)
Now onto the question of “primal nature”.
The question still remains, do I, an atheist, think that “badness is our primal nature”? No, not at all!! First of all, how can good or bad be in our primal nature, when our ideas of “good and bad” change every 50 years? Second, it would be ridiculous to say that newborn babies, who have never had a taste of the outside world, could somehow be either “good” or “bad”. They’re neither; they’re just a blank slate. They’re born with automatic human responses, sure, like survival instincts and stuff like that, but as for specific opinions about abortion or gay marriage or war or stem cell research, or other such morals we argue about nowadays, well… Those babies have to grow up and learn what the issue is first, and only then can they form an opinion.
Also, I, an atheist, certainly agree with you Christians that “evil[/bad] is both wrong and controllable”. Most atheists would agree. This is not a difference between us. It is a similarity. Contrary to popular belief, atheists actually don’t steal babies and eat them in the middle of the night. We’re actually a very kind, concerned people. Possibly a little smug, but I think you’d be surprised that morally, we have more in common than you’ve been made to believe. We, too, think murder and theft are bad, and generosity and compassion are good. Not because an imaginary god made us think that way, but because “do unto others as they would do unto you” is just plain good advice. There are also biological reasons for certain values that we all share. I won’t go into that here, but a little research will explain it just fine.
Based on a realistic viewpoint of morality (more nurture, less religious nature), atheists are definitely moral people. We take care of this world and each other, because we’re convinced that this is the only life we’re ever going to get and we want to make it great for everyone. (This doesn’t mean that we do everything we want simply for our own enjoyment, either; atheists are just as aware as everybody else that there are consequences for our actions… We just don’t think our consequences will be supernatural in nature. But that doesn’t make those consequences any more desirable or any less scary!)
…..Longest comment ever… I think I’ve decided to just start a blog of my own.
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Just so everyone knows, there is no relation between me, Squingleberg, and Squiggledorf, even though they sound somewhat simlar.
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