Dear Bobby,
I am an avid fan of humor. I have been a supporter for over 25 years. I watch Comedy Central and BET every day. Let’s face it, humor makes me laugh. I recently acquired a pamphlet from your Spaghetti Monster Church, and being succeptible to being swayed by any cult/religion I blindly went to your website. Come to find out, it wasn’t a real church at all! Well, I guess I can let that slide, as after scrolling through your website I noticed a hint of satire.
But I gotta be honest, Robert, if this was an attempt at humor, you missed the mark like Stevie Wonder in a bow and arrow contest. No one can laugh looking at ugly people in halloween costumes. Did you really think that something like that could pass as laughable? If you are going to post a bunch of boring quips and pictures, there better be nudity. Lots of it, or you are missing the point of owning a website. If you are being sacreligious (which is too easy, if you ask me, sir), then you need to add some pizazz. But instead you throw in a stupid picture of spaghetti every now and then and expect a laugh. You either need to hire a Jew to add a punchline every now and again, or call it quits. Better yet, you can hire me for a nominal fee. I could take pictures of my dumps and email it to your website, if you think it helps.
Look, Bobby, you just aren’t funny. Looking at your website is like looking at a ginger person eat a chicken salad sandwich. It just makes you scruntch up your face. Sadly, humor wanted nothing to do with you. Your site is as funny as a Dane Cook standup, but I believe you actually like him, so I’m sure that one went over your head. Either learn how to make people laugh, or stop killing trees for pamphlets to make people go to your gay website.
I said good day, sir,
Josh
I am an avid fan of humor
Published by Bobby Henderson November 9th, 2008 in Hate Mail (and concerned criticism). 159 Comments
159 Responses to “I am an avid fan of humor”
very touching… heh
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I don’t understand how you can believe in this spagetti monster theory. It sounds like a lot of ole bollocks to me.
Where’s your bleedin’ evidence? And in any case – surely spagetti was invented by the Italians (who copied the chinese). So how can the Spagetti Monster thing be the creator of the Universe if it was itself an invention of the Eye-Ties?
Bloody Stupid Nonsense.
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Ex-actly
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funny :-) nice way to spent the time
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If you’ve been touched in class, report it to the proper authorities!
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Amazing I must say. great picture
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Isaac Newton, you see?
It’s always about Physics.
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Is that yoshi back there?
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I am somewhat suspicious of the fact that this dinosaur does not have an eyepatch. Shouldn’t it be a Pirate to be truely holy?
However, the other questoin that this image bringeth to mind is: Is that Yoshi??? I KNEW Mario was a Pastafarian all along! After all, the Italians and Plumbers are both known to be great eaters of spaghetti and therefore very pious.
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The FSM inspires many to draw Yoshi, but you are thefirst to actually DO so
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That’s definitely Yoshi.
RAmen!
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He’s right. Nudity would spiff the place up a bit. Perhaps Spaghetti Wresting.
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Gee josh, humour makes you laugh? and bobby is missing the point of having a website if he doesnt have porn on it? are you one of theese wierd people who laugh their asses off when masturbating? (i cerainly hope you dont breed)
oh, and i like the way you try associate retorics (is it over your head?) with the gay thing. its like the flint-axe of arguing.
Thing is though, MY interest in pastafarianism is as severe as cholera. The point being: Dont take your belief as fact. its not “i believe, therefore I am” its “I THINK, therefore I am”.
/peace upon all men in the name of FSM. rAmen
Gargamel
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Knowing what good satire is when you see it: FAIL.
Being funny in your own right: Also FAIL.
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Now Josh
You say you are an avid fan of humor, but even though you tried so obviously pathetically hard, i didn’t laugh, snicker, giggle, smile or any other synonym for expressing humor to care for. Your best insult seems to be accusing someone, with no proof nor prior knowledge of this persons (dis)likes or personality, of finding enjoyment in watching/listening to a comedian that you do not like
If the above statement is false, then you are at the very least stereotyping the Jewish community, which is BAD.
Does anyone else find it ironic that you can say “I have been a supporter for over 25 years” about comedy, then laugh at Bobby Henderson for spreading the word about the Flying Spaghetti Monster. Seems to me you idolize comedy.
Lastly, you came here, apparently no idea of what to expect, after being given a pamphlet about the Pastafarian religion. Our god is the Flying Spaghetti Monster etc. I don’t know what the pamphlet looked like but it must have given you a clue. You, by your own account, seem to think that the internet is just for pornography, however, i ask again! what in the pamphlet could possibly have given you the idea that there was pornography in this site. If you didn’t think that there would be pornography then why go to this site??
I SAY good day to you, sir.
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Josh, if you don’t get Dane Cook humor, you won’t get us.
Too bad for you.
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Now just one minute. I’ve got enough work to do pointing out to Christians where their beliefs are deluded; in a satirical context, and trying to include at least one joke. It’s very time consuming to come up with quality material every week, and I really don’t have time to start doing the same for every Josh who thinks they are a comedian.
He’s got irony down to a fine art though:
“Look, Bobby, you just aren’t funny”
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we clearly have different opinions of whats funny. Personally (and I think there are many with me)I find many things on this site laughable, particulary this message
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Dude, you’re the one who thought a Flying Spaghetti Monster was a real religion.
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“I’ve been a supporter of humor for over 25 years”
We better watch out guys. This fellow’s an EXPERT.
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I can laugh at good humor too, your letter to this site for instance.
RAmen.
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Lets see, Josh insults the blind, racially stereotypes the Jews and finds gingers amusing. He also likes nudity. He fails to get satire. I think Josh should stick to fart jokes and those pens where the lady goes naked when you turn them up-side-down.
He can’t be all bad though, he likes trees!
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This one thinks he has a sense of Humour (lol), where’s that hiding? “you missed the mark like Stevie Wonder in a bow and arrow contest” Either that is some sort of meta-irony and you’re making satire of the “Zany guy” that everyone seems to work with and avoid or your sense of humour is very, very weak.
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erm… Josh?
The purpose of Pastafarianism is not to infest the universe with humor. It’s a satirical approach to protesting the teaching if (un)intelligent design under the guise of science in publicly funded schools. A little basic research on your part might have alerted you to this fundamental truth.
Keep the day job, son. You’ve got a long uphill climb before they invite you to host Saturday Night Live.
RAmen
ET
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Josh, you have no understanding of humor whatsoever. Most of the humor comes from the trolls like you, and my fellow pastafarians replies; when I read the hate mail section, I can’t recall the last time I laughed so hard.
Mr Pineapples, I am waiting for you to walk into your local church and yell the same things do are saying here.
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Wait. . .
People finds humour. . . Humourous?
Holy penis, what a scoop!
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Oi, Josh. Look up quick! Ye’ll see the joke goin’ over ye head!
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Josh (the cosmically unfunny),
Satire is not always intended to be funny Josh; it is intended to show the ridiculousness of a subject. If you don’t understand the difference between satire and humor you won’t get this website, and I suggest you buy a dictionary. I also don’t really appreciate your more than slightly racist remarks. If this letter is any evidence of your humor writing skills, I have news for you, you’re completely unfunny.
And as a ginger, kiss my butt.
Ramen
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I want to meet these people. I really do. I think they would be fascinating.
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25 years and you haven’t figured out yet that different people find different things funny?
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Yar, Johnny be concerned that ye be concerned.
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A “HINT” of satire? Man, you ARE clueless. Try reading the open letter (linked to from the main page), if you don’t get what this is about after that (hint: it involves religion being imposed on science), then you are hopeless. Try getting informed on the debates this religion is targeting; until you do so, the vast majority of the humor will be lost on you.
Also, I resent the intimation that humor must by definition be culturally, racially, or socially insulting. That is the kind of belief that is typically held by, and I am phrasing this lightly, an ass.
While I am sure your primary use for the internet is pornography, do not assume everyone is quite as perverted as you.
Also, the numerous jokes you placed in your post just. aren’t. funny. I am sure that you gave many a *hyuck hyuck* as you typed them out, but the fact remains that the majority of people whose IQ’s are above 82 simply do not find that kind of “humor” to be even a little bit humorous. Maybe this site went above *your* head? Maybe you have watched too many sub-par stand up acts (no, Dane Cook is not funny to me), and are now incapable of recognizing a witty intellectual criticism of a modern, important subject?
The updates on the main page are mostly for people who are already pastafarians… more a social thing than an attempt at humor. Look at the information pages, and once you decide whether you actually understand this, decide whether our humor is funny.
Hail Eris! All Hail Discordia!
and
RAmen, hail to the FSM
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E.P.I.C. F.A.I.L!
This site is really only funny to me in the kind of ‘I need to laugh when faced by insurmountable idiocy or I’ll go postal’ kind of way, but that is enough. Sadly Josh, you don’t even reach those levels of humor. Instead, you made me ponder where my cutlass sharpening stone is currently hiding so I could trim that fleshy lump protruding from your shoulders. Clearly it isn’t needed for brain storage at this time so It might be better used as a birdhouse.
cheers
PC
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Wait you tried to tell us that the whole Dane Cook thing is over our heads, yet you are the one who doesn’t even get the humor out of this? I guess you are absolutley right then.
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We don’t recall ever asking you whether you thought it was funny or not. And a little hint – you don’t like it and think it is a waste of time, please go visit some other website. We don’t remember taking you by the hand and leading you here, nor are you permanently chained to the website. There are plenty of people who love this site and find it extremely funny. I noticed you discussed your penis in another blog on this website, and now you’re talking about pornography. Seems to me like your time would be better spent spanking your monkey to some x-rated site.
RAmen!
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Here’s Josh-buddy’s warm up post. I like how he tried to rework some of the less tenable bits though…
“94 – November 9th, 2008 at – Josh Says:
Wow, Bobby. Can I call you Bobby? I’m going to call you Bobby.
You could have landed a home run with your satire against religion… or whatever this site is about (what is this site about???). Unfortunately, to be satirical and funny you need a sense of humor. Instead, I see pumpkins and pirates and middle aged men posing from the back of their vehicles with a spaghetti symbol on their car.
Forget about the religious zealots that flood your site with condemnation. But My Spaghetti Monster God, if you are going to go this far it had better be funny. It is not, Rob. It is not.
You really need to know that. This is a dumb idea that makes my penis soft. It is as funny as TGIF was in the mid 90’s. This website belongs on the Oxygen Network. If you want some advice, delete this website and run head first into a wall. It’s no offense to you, Robbie, it’s just that wasting my time for something as funny as watching your grandmother go through a yeast infection makes me ill. Everyone who goes here should die of gonorrhea and rot in hell. That is, if they don’t accept the Spaghetti Monster as their savior….. which they won’t, because it isn’t an intriguing enough gimmick.”
Still even more E.P.I.C. F.A.I.L!
PC
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who ever said we were trying to be funny :D may his noodliness smite you. :3
RAman.
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@ Josh,
You want nudity? Go to a porn website!
You want satire? Stand in front of a mirror, whip out your Lil’ Rascal and a ruler. Try to remember a point in time when you could be proud of what’s in front of you.
You want to rub elbows with some of the world’s best truth-mongers concerning evolution, religion, and the necessity of keeping the two apart? This is the place, pal.
We’re not in the business of asking you to drink the Kool-aid, or to think that Dane Cook is funny. We’re here for the FSM, the truth about evolution, being really friendly to pirates, strippers, and knowledgeable people, and weeding out hypocrisy in the douche-bag realm of ID.
If you like none of these things, try a kids website or something. Pasta is after all an acquired taste with some peeps.
RAmen!
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He’s totally right, the Flying Spaghetti Monster make a terrible sitcom. How do you expect to be on Comedy Central, Mr. Henderson?
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What a tool….. You really don’t get it do you Josh? I like the amount of time you spent telling us this is a waste of time. Sounds like it is reduntantly repeating itself, over and over and over again. If you thought any part of your letter was funny, you are a racist, not very bright, and an all around deluded person.
RAmen
kris
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Dear Josh:
I am gay. The comment you make that this website is gay insults me. It is not gay. It is very gay friendly, which is a big difference. That means that straight people are welcome here along with gay people, too. I think you owe me, Bobby, and the straight people that post on this website and enjoy reading it a huge apology. You better mean it too.
You didn’t find the website funny. So? Thousands of other people do and enjoy coming here just to read the ridiculous hate mail. I am giggling at your email right now.
Thank you for writing such a polite letter with some acceptable grammar and punctuation. I bet your mother is very proud of you. You’re such a big boy now.
Meisha
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You lost all respect that I may have had for you in your last line.
Seriously, grow up.
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Josh – ooh, hint of irony in that name !
Nice try at condescencion, where you lose it is that you aren’t remotely amusing or engaging youself – could your humour failure be perhaps triggered by your superstitions you sad man?
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“You either need to hire a Jew to add a punchline every now and again”
Xians did that 2000 years ago.
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The sad thing is I think Josh actually thinks he’s funny.
Your attempts at humour are so out-dated its embarrassing.
I’m surprised you didn’t throw in a line about how fat your mother-in-law is.
But then I suppose everyone has their own valid opinion about what’s funny and what isn’t. After all, some people think Mel Brooks is a genius.
As my American friends would say, go figure.;-)
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Satire = Yes.
Your understanding of the website= None.
Problem = Josh!
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BET? Seriously? Why do you watch that it’s just… it’s not even close to funny, it’s like watch the entire raping of a race. And rape is only funny if it’s clowns.
RAmen Mateys!
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I kinda suspect this person is a great Howard Stern fan, you know, someone who would find a midget having sex with a 500 lb woman funny. Oh well, to each his own. For my part, even though I have no problems with the topic Howard broaches, I just don’t find him funny. You have to do something more than be obscene (not that there’s anything wrong with that if done hilariously) to be funny. I just think Josh is one of those guys who like to eat Mutton for Sunday dinner, me , I’ll take pasta.
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WTF is this idiot talking about????
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Wow what a douche.
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Just so you know, “I said good day, sir” only works if you actually say “good day” or “good day, sire” first, and then whoever you’re saying “good day” to proceeds to interrupt, allowing you to interrupt with your “I said good day, sir”.
Also, your sense of humor fails :]
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Despite all of the attempted jokes, he isn’t funny either…
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If you don’t like the site, piss off, don’t look at it. It’s rather simple really.
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It all makes sense now… the secret to having a successful website is nudity and the best form of comedy is poo…
Thanks Josh.
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“I am an avid fan of humor. I have been a supporter for over 25 years. I watch Comedy Central and BET every day. Let’s face it, humor makes me laugh.”
.
Josh is displaying all the clinical signs the sufferer of an advanced case of Humour Deficit Disorder (HDD). Advanced symptoms include the sufferer strenuously protesting that he/she indeed finds humour “laughingly” funny, accompanied by feeble (failed in Josh’s post) attempts at humourous wit in a concerted attempt to provide evidence to convince others that he/she indeed possesses a sense of humour.
.
Methinks thou doth protest too much Josh!
.
“Either learn how to make people laugh, or stop killing trees for pamphlets to make people go to your gay website.”
.
This last sentence in itself portrays one of the very sad characteristic clinical manifestations of HDD. Advanced HDD often results as a consequence of the sufferer’s previous, continuously failed public attempts to be witty and considered funny by others.
Josh has all my sympathy.
.
May you be recovered by the touch of His Noodly Appendages Josh.
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Well Josh, despite what you say, your…er…’jokes’ about Stevie Wonder and ginger people would seem to indicate that you actually have no discernible sense of humour whatsoever.
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Aww, someone throw a rotten meatball at him. I take this site very seriously- honestly, the Church of FSM is the only thing that comes remotely close to something that I can truly believe in. As a former agnostic, I deeply appreciate this church. You are my people, Church of the FSM. Ramen to that.
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When I read the part about a ginger eating a chicken salad sandwich I DID scrunch up my nose! And I’m in love with a ginger man, go figure. I don’t love chicken salad though.
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Ugh, I know D-bags like this at work. They always eff-up the punchline of jokes and think recycling Chris Farley material ad nauseam is clever. I’ll say it again: UGH!
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I wanted to write something really cutting about this guy, but he’s just not worth the trouble… Josh, you’re clearly over your head here. I suggest you check out
http://www.amazon.com/Benny-Hill-Complete-Unadulterated-1969-1971/dp/B0002F6AHA
Not nudity, but surely more up your alley.
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i think he is the one christian that the pirate pissed
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“Your site is as funny as a Dane Cook Stand up…”
Ouch.
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Perhaps Josh could get together with Christian and let us pastafarians know what we should all be doing once they can agree what it is.
While they’re busy sorting that out for us, let’s go hang out at the beer volcano for the rest of eternity.
RAmen!
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Guess he’s just Joshin’ us. A comedy fan for 25 years? What? I have no idea what to say to this putz except goodbye.
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I lol’d.
You, sir, are a Monsterous Homeauxgay.
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if your idea of humor is going onto religeous websites and taking the piss out of them then you must be a really lame person.
suck my nuts you prick
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Sure, attack the drink-inspired humor of our Creator, and ignore all the serious issues like equality, tolerance and love this religion is all about…
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Haha. I see what you did! You used almost-kind-of-halfway-shocking similies to create humor! You’re a clever one. You’re as funny as cancer!
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Dear ‘Josh’
I tried to read your letter, but I fell asleep. Twice. Anyone 25 years and older can claim to be a comedian “expert” of 25 years. A baby can laugh after several months, so your credentials are lacking there. Prehaps you meant “eggxpert”, because after writing that, egg is all you have your face. Unlike you mom, whom I left something different on her face last night! Lol, Oh Snap. Joshua, but I will call you Joshhy, you best leave the jokes to us, and you can simply go away. The only thing that has gone down faster than the jokes in your letter is, your Mom! Zing again, lmao! Joshhy, in summary, do something useful and stuff it.
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“I have been a supporter for over 25 years.”
If you like humor so much, then you should be able to laugh about us laughing about this website, no?
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What a fuckin idiot
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HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
I just want to point out that the joke attempts in your email don’t make me laugh. I guess humor is a question of taste, mr. expert, for almost all of us have a good laugh when we come over here. Is something funny because you decide or because actual people laugh?
But anyway, the purpose of this site is not necessarily about humor (although it’s supplementary motivation). It’s more about delivering the great message of his noodliness.
May the pastas be upon you. And don’t forget to send me the videos of you doing comic stand ups, mr. humor, so that we can post it here and laugh. For whatever reason.
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Not a real Church!
I’m not sure i like the tone of your letter. But i forgive you and the other misguided ones in a similar fashion.
Its a real Church just like any other Church is real. Its also a faith system with as much (if not a teeny bit more) logic behind it than some of the (bizarely) more popular ‘religions.
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Okay, I haven’t read all the comments, but am I the only one who noticed the “Jew” remark and calling the site gay? This person Josh clearly regards himself as an intelligent, discerning Christian. Well, intolerance isn’t very “Christ-like”. It’s also not funny. So Josh, to you, “sir”, I say get fucked, Christfucker.
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you must have tonnes of friends if yur life consists of harassing people about their religeon online.
suck my nuts you stupid prick.
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Dick, can I call you “Dick”? Dick, listen: you take yourself way too seriously. And you’re possibly a little too obsessed with nudity and poo.
If this site was so boring, why take the time to write a letter in a faux-posh tone? There are loads of sites I find boring (including the one with pictures of you dressing up your cats), but do I go and comment on the clearly rampant animal abuse that goes on in your home/garage/ bedroom? No. If you want to dress your cats up like Scarlet and Rhett, and post the pics on LOLCatz, then you do you, kid, no judgements.
I’m on lunch hour now, so I’ll take the time to write to you and say: Dick, really, I’m sure they have way more kitty-outfits out there now. You and Mr. Fluffy-kins should get together and make a night of it… and stop bugging people who happen to enjoy physics humor. If you don’t like it, well, too bad.
Hasta la Pasta,
Hannah
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The analogies were subpar.
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Oh,Josh.
Your letter is not funny. You are not funny. The ginger quip is not funny.
Cause guess what, Josh. I am a jewish redhead. I laugh at humor.
And I love chicken salad sandwiches.
I said screw you, sir.
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Don’t email us pictures of your dumps. We get enough crap from a-holes around here. If you want to raise the level of humor, email us your face.
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*sniff* *sniff* I smell a troll
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“I said good day, sir,
Josh”
Wouldn’t like to cross him in dark alley LOL
Isn’t it obvious the universe is made out of small vibrating noodles? Look up Supernoodle Theory and get your act together. Your message wreaks of brainwash.
ALL HAIL THE FSM
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“…noticed a hint of satire.”
EPIC MOMENT ROFL
Can we have a “Best Quotes Ever” section with this at the top?
ALL HAIL THE FSM
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#76 by Hannah
I want to be your friend, you made me laugh so much!
RAmen.
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Yes, I agree with Flamin’ Jane. Your sense of humor is lacking, sir. I don’t think you “get” this website. I am known for my sense of humor, and in that way perhaps something of an expert on what is funny, and this site is funny, but you are not. So there.
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He’s right, you know. Pastafarianism isn’t nearly as funny as, say, the bible.
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> after scrolling through your website I noticed a hint of satire.
What does he mean?
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Well at least this is something we’re not used to. All I can really say is that Josh, you have not right to be criticizing humor. You watch comedy central and BET? Wow, great, you must have the best sense of humor. I wish that my sense of humor was as developed as yours. Maybe I should watch more TV.
Also, if you think that your jokes are funny (putting down Dane Cook’s comedy stopped being comedic like a year ago, and the Stevie Wonder joke just wasn’t funny), then you’ve got something else coming.
Like everyone else is saying, you clearly missed the point of our site, and if you came here to simply brush up on your comedy, then I would love to watch you do standup sometime, and maybe get a little bit of sleep in the process.
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Well Comedy central isn’t really that good but this can’t be hate mail notice he actually spells, still avid fan of comedy obviously he is one of those people that find “English/British” comedy too taxing. A gay site well if he wants to go to a gay site he could go to plenty of them on the internet that should keep him entertained. Well as they say He who laughs last didn’t really get the joke in the first place, why not have some canned laughter he might understand that. Right Stevie Wonder is Blind and why would he be firing bows? Come to think of it there was a video which had him driving a car which would of been on scary drive I can tell you I saw a OAP driving a car at 20MPH and that was scary as when you tried to overtake he would pull out suddenly. Now as for him taking pictures of his dumps there are plenty of sites that do that look up “Two girls, one cup”
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Well at least he had a point. He didn’t just go for the heathen aspect, looks like he was trying to do us a favor! But he just didn’t get it, he just doesn’t understand the humor.
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He didn’t get the humor, and he finished his post by stealing a line from That ’70’s Show, one of the least funny things to ever make it to TV.
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I like how his idea of humor is watching BET nightly
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That letter is so good i’m not sure whether it’s Josh that’s being sarcastic and has nailed all of us for falling for it.
I’m susceptible to cults and religions too and as an avid pastafarian would like to note that i think that this website is blasphemous towards the flying spaghetti monster. I intend to set up a rival church called the ‘orthodox church of the flying spaghetti monster’.
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Krusty the Clown is funnier than you.
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But is he aware of All Internet Traditions?
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Dear Josh,
I am also an avid fan of humor. I don’t know anyone who isn’t. I was concerned with some of your comments. “No one can laugh looking at ugly people in Halloween costumes.” I’m sorry, but what the hell is that supposed to mean? “If you are going to post a bunch of boring quips and pictures, there better be nudity.” First, the “quips and pictures” are not boring. Second, nudity? is there something wrong with you? I don’t care if people look at porn, but why would you be looking for it at “www.flyingspaghettimonster.com?” That’s just strange. “…hire a Jew to add a punchline every now and again…” I find that to be very offensive toward Jewish people. “Looking at your website is like looking at a ginger person eat a chicken salad sandwich. It just makes you scruntch up your face.” Now you’re being offensive towards “ginger” people. You’re on a roll, Skippy. “Either learn how to make people laugh, or stop killing trees for pamphlets to make people go to your gay website.” I’m pretty sure other religions use a lot more paper than Pastafarianism, and now you are being offensive toward homosexuals. “I said good day, sir.” You never said “good day” in the first place! That’s how that goes! Just putting “I said good day, sir” dosen’t make much sense. I think you are filled with a lot of hate and ignorance, maybe you should go see a therapist or something. I hope maybe someday you will find the way and join Pastafarianism. May sauce be upon Him, and may you forever be touched by his Noodley Appendage.
-Brandon, concerned Pastafarian.
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I agree with Josh – this site needs more nudity or should that be noodle-ity! High five?
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“Hire a Jew to add in a punchline every now and again?”
Way to throw in the anti-Semetic stereotype in! You obviously learned alot from the comedic bastions that are Comedy Central and Black Explotiation Television {eyes rolled}.
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Humm, he is right after all, printing pamphlets does kill trees, I don’t mind wasted cyberenergy and a bit of electricity, but converting a forest into paper for advertising is not very responsible…
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Uh, Josh? You say you watch Comedy Central, so that immediantly makes you funny? Wait a sec, brain storm! Don’t they show Dane Cook ON Comedy Central? You completely missed the point of this site, dude. Everyone’s entitled to their own beliefs. Get over it.
However, I must commend you on one thing; you insulted this entire site without profanity and threatening people. That’s a first in my book. My favorite one I saw today was “I wish I could beat the tar out of each and every one of you,” and I wish he could too. Because, odds are, theres more than a million of us, only one of him. I hope its him Vs. All of us at the same time.
*Ahem*
I said good day, sir,
Jordan
RAmen
~(§_§)~
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Stale beer for you Josh…
*cough*
I said good day sir!
Xipetotec
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Looking at your website is like looking at a ginger person eat a chicken salad sandwich. It just makes you scruntch up your face.
LOL!
That line is funny, because it’s so darn stupid. the rest just sounds like a combination of the most clicheed lines from lame stand-up comedy acts. And you say you love humor. May His noodly appendage comfort you lost soul.
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Oh….my….FSM!
This website is gay! If I’m on it will I catch the gay! Should I go wash my hands!
Furthermore it is not “ginger” the term is “pigment impaired”. We have been discriminated against for thousands of years, and just when we begin to make progress something like this happens and we are set back. When will people learn we are all the same black, white, extremely pale, we are all human under the great FSM.
By the way, anyone know a Jew we can hire.
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My dad’s jewish – he’s not really funny, but he IS cheap :-D
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Come now! Can’t we be avid fans of humor together? I think the majority of the content on Comedy Central and BET is inane, but I do not begrudge you your laffs. Similarly, while pictures of nude people may have you “rofl”-ing, I prefer, oh, I don’t know, wit.
PS: I believe the term is “archery”?
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“No one can laugh looking at ugly people in Halloween costumes.”
Au contrair, my deluded egotist. You wouldn’t know humor if it whacked you with a meat tenderizer. Made from a peg leg, of course.
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Ther eis one really funny of part of this website. The hatemail section.
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OK I AM PISSED AT YOU PASTAFARIANS WHO BELIEVE IN THIS FSM…. YOU ARE NOT PROMOTING A RELIGION AT ALL YOU ARE DOING IS PROMOTING ATHEISM AND MAKING FUN OF CHRISTIANS….YOU PEOPLE SHOULD NOT JUDGE OTHER RELIGIONS
(IS THAT NOT IN YOUR”GOSPEL OF TH FSM”)…..
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Shiver me timbers, mateys! Emily be on t’us!
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@ Emily #107,
You’re right! We’re not promoting a religion; while I disagree with your idea that we promote atheism(many of us are atheists and from your candor, you are not one. That makes you a minority, here. With no one to assist you in arguments, you would feel a little out of frame and it would appear we are promoting something. Its your perspective making you feel that way.), I will say we do get our jollies from mocking and joking about Christians. If you were on your favorite Christian website and one, lone dissenting voice shouted out, don’t lie to me and say you would pounce on them like a pack of mad hyenas!
I don’t try to offend His Noodlyness by judging your religion, or any others. But as I said, Christians are the pros in that arena. You, in paraphrase:”AM PISSED AT YOU PASTAFARIANS WHO BELIEVE IN THIS FSM…. “. It’s not because we’re picking at someone, its because of “This FSM”, that is the crux of your complaint. Aren’t you judging now, missy? You read the thread and got pissy because of all the off-color comments and saucy(Don’t you love that word?) banter about how stupid Christians can be. Truth hurts at times; put on your big girl panties and change the liner. This is the “Hate Mail” forum, you know. It’s like that sign says on log-flume rides:
“You will get wet, you may get SOAKED!”
RAmen!
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@107
For legal reasons we must state here that this is a real religion, as real as any other.
You’ve got Caps Lock on, by the way – are you shouting at us for believing in something different to what you do? Then it’s a pity, at first I thought there was hope for you. How dare you judge our religion?
Prepare yourself for a long dull life as a passenger, longing for miracles, while the logical thinkers keep the world around you from grinding to a halt.
Your full stop key sticks, too.
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this bloke is spot on and it is ginger….
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I liked the bit about adding some pizzas, though I would have thought that “pizza” is easier to spell than “spaghetti”.
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I don’t get this Flying Spaghetti Monster when you have Dawkins, a father of the new atheists (much or most of whom think with the cash or the crotch and think they can be rational or they do know truth and are pushing socially communist beliefs anyway–as they know it’s only about getting God’s influence out of society, even if it leaves us with the savagery that comes with people pleasing themselves increasingly without reservation) saying he thinks maybe mankind came from aliens. Scientology is a religion, Dawkins. Despite that, creationists get this flying spaghetti monster mockery.
How can anyone, religious or not, buy macroevolution from Big Science? They taught Piltdown Man for 40 years in school, obviously not having applied the scientific method to it, because they actually don’t care about science or scientific integrity if it might affect their grants, pleasing themselves (I believe some really do feel guilt and act like the worst behavior a religious person might adopt to fight it), career, or pride. Let’s see, we then have the environmentalist rite of liberalism. They also can gang up on dissenters unless the dissenter is George Carlin. Even he didn’t put those chicken littles out of business. Scientists can’t tell if Pluto is a planet. I can’t take these people seriously! People want to feel smart, so, if the Bible or their church gets questioned and the religious laypeople or clergy don’t have ready answers for what they believe, people automatically deduce that Big Science is the one that treats them with respect, when the latter is backed by racist, eugenic white men, who’ve wanted to get rid of people they don’t like and most of their targets are south of the (equatorial) border or descended from people of those lands. Whether it be contraception, environmentalism or macroevolution, it’s all about dehumanizing certain people they find a nuisance to get rid of them.
Whatever bad things Christians, anyway, did, it was at least not taught by their religion, but hating is central to Big Science (they just tell the people who want to feel smart that its reasonable or merciful to do abortions or to do embryonic stem cell research (another piece of B.S. that is pushed by Big Science, despite never working) and, at the same time, not experiment on animals.
I think it’s time for lay-people to start thinking for themselves, if they are going to say they do and not blindly and religiously accept the smooth talk that comes from Mt. Eugenic. Scientists, if you want to respect yourself, think objectively, speak out and free science from scientific dogma. Science is a tool; not a philosophy. It doesn’t have to be a 6 day creation, but, with the massive holes in the theories of the earth’s age and man’s origins, it’s probably not what you learned in schools either. Big Science has far more Galileo cases to face than the Catholic Church. If you don’t take this advice, don’t tell anyone else about thinking for themselves, esp. if you consider man coming from aliens.
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I’m sorry sir, but I believe you wouldn’t know humour if it hit you in the face like a particularly wet fish.
Also
“Looking at your website is like looking at a ginger person eat a chicken salad sandwich. It just makes you scruntch up your face.”
This shows quite plainly that you are a bigot, and also that you need to sue a spell checker more often.
Your bigotry and lack of humour dissuade me from even saying peace or RAmen to you…
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@ 113 – Phil
I really take issue with your characterisation of so-called “Big Science” and atheism.
Time and time again, people bring up what seems to be the innate “savagery” of humankind which is brought about whenever we act without the moral constraints of Christianity or any other organised religion. Saying that people, in their atheism, are completely unravelled morally is an empirical claim, and I’d like to see something propping up such a claim. There’s certainly a lot of historical evidence for the atrocities religion has caused, and is still causing to this day. In your defence, you could point to the modern 20th century regimes of Hitler and Stalin, whose total death toll numbers in the millions. However, to say that it has to be one or the other – either atheism or religion is evil – is the logical fallacy of false dichotomy (or the excluded middle). What I mean to say is that Muslim extremists who behead people, claiming to kill in the name of religion, doesn’t mean they kill because of religion. They are humans, and they are murderers – whether or not they go to church is frankly irrelevant – I can point to the fact that most people who claim to be religious do not go about murdering people in cold blood. On the flip side, I would also say that a lack of religion does not make one an immoral or dangerous individual. Humans are humans, no matter what label they choose to attach themselves to do, and sometimes human do atrocious things and they will always find reasons to justify themselves.
And for “Big Science”, I wonder at a number of your points. Firstly, you cannot accept macroevolution, why is microevolution more palatable? If a number of small changes can occur over a relatively short period of time, surely then a number of small changes can occur, accumulating over millions of years, and then before you know it, you have macroevolution.
Secondly, Piltdown man. Yes, it was a fake and caused a great deal of excitement in the scientific community, but this doesn’t make science or evolution dogmatic. Even at hoax’s beginnings, from 1912, there existed scepticism about the fossils, “G.S. Miller, for example, observed in 1915 that “deliberate malice could hardly have been more successful than the hazards of deposition in so breaking the fossils as to give free scope to individual judgment in fitting the parts together” and “In the decades prior to its exposure as a forgery in 1953, scientists increasingly regarded Piltdown as an enigmatic aberration inconsistent with the path of hominid evolution as demonstrated by fossils found elsewhere” (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Piltdown_Man). “Big Science” was not blindly accepting the fossils, not from its ‘discovery’ and before it was finally found out to be a hoax. As you can see, the scientific method was being used, as increased finds of hominid fossils over time produced a pattern, one that Piltdown man did not fit into. I will concede, however, that scientists allowed their scientific rigour to drop at this discovery, and pre-determined and cultural prejudices allowed them to accept the fossil much more readily than perhaps scrutiny would allow them. Yet the fact remains that the scientific consensus recognised its errors in time, and acted and modified its theories accordingly – if Piltdown man was taught for 40 years in schools then, it is no longer taught in schools (except perhaps in a lesson teaching the prudency of a calm, unbiased approach to evidence) and that shows that science is not so dogmatic as you may perceive.
Thirdly, regarding religion not teaching hatred, I’d like to pull out my good old friend – namely, the Old Testament. That book is filled with hatred, and God instructing others to act in hateful ways – murdering your brother, for example, if he should choose to worship any other god than Yahweh. Sure enough there’s the New Testament, which in comparison to the patriarchal, bigot of before, makes Jesus look like a hippy. But he has a good message, my personal favourite his teachings amongst them being love thy neighbour. As for science teaching hatred, well I’ve always thought that “Big Science” was always rather impersonal in this regard. Science has indeed inspired not so pleasant thoughts in some people’s minds, the example you mentioned being eugenics. Again, I’d like to point to my paragraph above – I claim neither religion nor atheism nor science preaches hatred as its central tenets, though some individuals sometimes do. Racisms already existed before eugenics, the unhappy history of the Jews shows us that, and many perceived evolution as justifying their preconceived notions. People will justify themselves and their beliefs in any number of ways – those people who killed or sterilised the disabled didn’t kill because they believed science taught hatred, but because they were already racist (and I cringe at a term like evil, but perhaps it’s fitting here) people and people always need a justification for their actions, even an ad hoc one.
Then the Dawkins-alien thing you mentioned a couple of times, was that because he speculated there might be alien civilisations on other planets? Because a cursory glance at Google didn’t show me anything about Dawkins saying mankind came from aliens. I’d like to answer your point, but I’m unsure as to what you mean.
As for telling people to speak and think freely, here’s a point we can both wholeheartedly agree on. Think freely, but also think critically and clearly.
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oh my *** (dont wanna offend anyone:P )
This site in itself i find very amusing – and THEN you get to the hatemails – ROFL!!!! I love you guys’n'girls 2 much for all this xD It was certainly worth my time reading :) Keep it up.
I also enjoyed the clever answers and such, all very informative XD
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“I watch Comedy Central and BET every day.”
I stopped taking this guy seriously the moment I read that. This has also got to be the most racist e-mail I’ve read on this site so far.
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@ 115
Laurel:
Your entire argument is very concise, informative, and eloquent. Thank you.
“As for telling people to speak and think freely, here’s a point we can both wholeheartedly agree on. Think freely, but also think critically and clearly.”
Ramen!
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Blind jokes AND racist? You sir are a clASSy guy.
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Wow, were you trying to make jokes?
Dude, you are not one to talk.
Clearly the only humor you enjoy comes from nudity, sex, and stupid toilet humor.
I’m not saying that if those jokes are thought over and made by a good comedian that those jokes can’t be funny, but you don’t understand that there are different kinds of humor that people enjoy whether it is satire, toilet humor, or just some light poetry jokes. Just because you watch Comedy Central, doesn’t mean you are the comedy God. And with what you think is funny (aka your sad excuse at a joke), you are not even close.
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“”OK I AM PISSED AT YOU PASTAFARIANS WHO BELIEVE IN THIS FSM…. YOU ARE NOT PROMOTING A RELIGION AT ALL YOU ARE DOING IS PROMOTING ATHEISM AND MAKING FUN OF CHRISTIANS….YOU PEOPLE SHOULD NOT JUDGE OTHER RELIGIONS
(IS THAT NOT IN YOUR”GOSPEL OF TH FSM”)…..”"
I do hope you burn in the fiery pits of hell, out of reach of His Holy Noodleness where all the strippers have std’s and there will be no beer volcanoes.
soz for the hate talk but he shivvers my timbers
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“I watch Comedy Central and BET everyday” BLAHAHAHA!!! You must be a comedic genius!
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OK may i just make the point that this person does a great dis-service to all lovers of humor satire and sarcasm. The idea which Bobby has bought forth onto the pages is the internet it the closest thing i have found to something that the late great Douglas Adams would have produced, and I’m sure he would have loved it. Secondly and my main point for writing this is that this person does a great dis-service to those Pastafarian such as myself who have the name josh.
May you be touched by his Noodley Appendage and have some sense of humor bestowed upon you.
RAmen
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What’s your fuckin’ problem. Keep these letters to yourself, Jackass
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Are some peoples’ forum responses sarcasticly offended at josh? I can’t tell. Someone let me know if i’m daft…cuz some pastafarians here sound mad with no funny. josh…you know, JOSH. ‘Reread the letter’ is a mantra here, no? Satire of satire is still satire.
Ramen
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Wow, Josh. Thanks.
Now we all know what humor really is.
It isn’t wit, or relateable concepts,
but rather, it’s lots of nudity,
which is also, according to Josh,
“the whole point of owning a website”.
Hey Josh, here’s an idea:
since you’re such a damn expert,
with your patronage of comedy central,
and all,
Why not start a website yourself?
You can upload as many pictures of your dumps as you want!
You can even post nudes!
You’ve shown us all your amazing wit,
with your side-spliting jokes about Stevie Wonder and ginger kids.
That shit was so DAMN funny.
It really was great.
I’m sure a ton of people give a shit about what somebody like you has to say.
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“Looking at your website is like looking at a ginger person eat a chicken salad sandwich. It just makes you scruntch up your face.” What is this suppose to mean?
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Grace Murphy, you’re telling Josh to keep his letters to himself? why? a pasta monster creating the world is sensical? I think this “Bobby” character should’ve kept his letters to himself.. in my opinion.
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I think the primary purpose of Pastafarianism’s creation was primarily to make a statement about the potential teaching of ID(BS) in science classes.
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he kinda ruined his credibility the second he mentioned that he was easily sucked in by cults.
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You bible-banging bastards!
Ramen to our Noodley Savior!
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It’s not about the humor. The point is that there is as much evidence for our noodley god as there is to every other god out there. Only our god doesn’t contradict himself and he is made out of spagetti.
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Quote: “your gay website”
Evidently this website has sex with other websites of the same gender. Hmmm.Kinky!
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normally i put snarky remarks to hate mail. but i agree josh the combination of chruch and state is no joke at all. thank god we have people and groups to call the goverment out on that.
may you forever be touched by his noodely apendage
RAmen
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Actually, I heard Stevie Wonder has amazing archery skillz (…not really sure why I used the “Z” but ah well…). Being blind has given him near Dare(-?)Devil-like hearing and such… That’s how he plays the piano and defends the world from zombies so well.
RAmen!
-Cap’m RedTom
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Even with a link to the letter being the FIRST THING you see on the front page, there are still tons of people who don’t bother to read it. There would be a lot less of this if they did…
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This guy is COMEDIC GENIUS! Just look at these hilarious remarks he made. “You either need to hire a Jew to add a punchline every now and again, or call it quits.” “Looking at your website is like looking at a ginger person eat a chicken salad sandwich.”
Also, this website main purpose wasn’t just to be a humorous website, it’s taking a bash at people who want to teach ID in schools.
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heyyyyyyy cming all the way from scotlnd. k first thngs first josh NVR FUKING SLAG OFF DANE COOK. u slag of a guy who is genious while u thing fart jokes are funny serious, nd if nobody likes wt we believe then fuk off. obtw see all you stupid christians nd catholics at least we believe in something tht makes sense jesus walkd on water, so did chris angel but hes still a fake, ure god tlks to u in ure dreams ye its called fuking dreaming, jesus gt ressurected tht sounds like a fairy tale. honestly the guy who wrote the bible frgt to right fiction on the back. no one waants to listen to ure made up bullshit and if they do they already follow tht crap
all hail fsm and his almighty noodlyness1
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w8 i frgt to say am 6ft 4 “ginger” ( i personally prefer to call my hair african sunset) a big fan od dane cook and comedy central, i knw gay ppl, i am straight as well bt thts my choice. i dnt like people slaging of my beliefs. well am sorry i dnt stay at home all day wanking off to porn and laughing at poo, cus obviously thts wt real comedy is, supposidly we gt it all wrong, well this isnt comical website. its wt we wnt to believe so fuk of or al cme over to america n the first flight pull dwn my kilt (we dnt were kilts nly fr special ocasions like ths) grab my big ginger balls and cumm all over ure mums face while she begs fr mre, dnt wry al take a foto off my poo if u really wnt
RAmen
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A bow and arrow contest…that’s fucking classic!
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the insertion of simple similies gives this man first hand knowledge on what humor really is…
Looking at your website is like looking at a ginger person eat a chicken salad sandwich
seriously???what a fucktard
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That’s what this site is missing, Bobby, bigotry and bathroom humor!
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Note use of “gay” as an insult.
Not only does this person refuse to be touched by His Noodly Appendage, he’s a homophobe too.
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I am ginger sir and I am offended by your remarks but his noodleness forbids me from acting out in anger.
RAmen
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For someone that doesn’t like Jews or Gays, you certainly seem to have a bunch of great friends on this website. THANK THE FSM FOR THE GIFT OF SARCASM.
May pesto be upon him, RAmen
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I sense a stick in this one, far up the ass, clearly this man needs a life, as do most people who send hate mail
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so humour makes him laugh? incredible powers of deduction. I am in your awe sir.
Tool
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Humor is very subjective, true, so anyone who doesn’t find your site funny, Bobby, has a right to his own opinion. However, he is missing he larger point, and the larger good you do. I have just bought a new summer FSM Teeshirt to show my support. I think the FSM website is very funny, and I am known for my sense of humor, Far and Wide.
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Wow, get a life. It truly shows you do not get the true concept of pastaforianism.
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I also scrunch up my face watching a ginger person eating a chicken salad sandwich. Then again, I scrunch up my face watching a maryann person eat a corned beef reuben, too. Go figure.
RAmen
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so is he saying that watching comedy central and BET makes him a genius at comedy? I honestly think this pervert thinks that he knows what he’s talking about when he says that this is pathetic
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to #113
“[Big Science] is backed by racist, eugenic white men, who’ve wanted to get rid of people they don’t like”
Excuse me, in all of my experience it’s been the other way around. Scientists hurt each other with words and shunning; if other people are too stupid to accept your brilliant theory then that’s their loss.
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Dear Josh,
You see the website and FSM is just the lure. The real comedy lies on the hate mail sent by people like you, “concerned christians” and people that are afraid of the influence of our Church.
RAmen,
Orthodox Monsterist Diego
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Ohgeez. This man’s letter made me squirm. He tries so pathetically hard to be funny… It comes off as forced and not comedic in the least. Two things that get under my skin: FSM haters that just do not seem to understand the whole purpose of this site and forcefully comedic, yet unfunny, asshats. And this letter just put them together. Ewww.
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Don’t you listen to the mean man, Bobby. This website tickles my FSM given humour sensory thingie.
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All he was missing was a bicycle horn.
I think the judges would have also accepted a drum sound as the punchline indicator. I believe it’s frequently referred to as a rim shot. Not to sound too “gay” for you.
RAmen.
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At least it isn’t some Jesus Freak….
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I just love this one
“Let’s face it, humor makes me laugh”
You just can’t beat that…
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Funny or not funny, it’s the truth. When I thought it was just a joke I laughed my ass off. You’re just weird.
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