Dear Bobby,
I am an avid fan of humor. I have been a supporter for over 25 years. I watch Comedy Central and BET every day. Let’s face it, humor makes me laugh. I recently acquired a pamphlet from your Spaghetti Monster Church, and being succeptible to being swayed by any cult/religion I blindly went to your website. Come to find out, it wasn’t a real church at all! Well, I guess I can let that slide, as after scrolling through your website I noticed a hint of satire.
But I gotta be honest, Robert, if this was an attempt at humor, you missed the mark like Stevie Wonder in a bow and arrow contest. No one can laugh looking at ugly people in halloween costumes. Did you really think that something like that could pass as laughable? If you are going to post a bunch of boring quips and pictures, there better be nudity. Lots of it, or you are missing the point of owning a website. If you are being sacreligious (which is too easy, if you ask me, sir), then you need to add some pizazz. But instead you throw in a stupid picture of spaghetti every now and then and expect a laugh. You either need to hire a Jew to add a punchline every now and again, or call it quits. Better yet, you can hire me for a nominal fee. I could take pictures of my dumps and email it to your website, if you think it helps.
Look, Bobby, you just aren’t funny. Looking at your website is like looking at a ginger person eat a chicken salad sandwich. It just makes you scruntch up your face. Sadly, humor wanted nothing to do with you. Your site is as funny as a Dane Cook standup, but I believe you actually like him, so I’m sure that one went over your head. Either learn how to make people laugh, or stop killing trees for pamphlets to make people go to your gay website.
I said good day, sir,
Josh
I am an avid fan of humor
Published by Bobby Henderson November 9th, 2008 in Hate Mail (and concerned criticism). 159 Comments
159 Responses to “I am an avid fan of humor”
Looking at your website is like looking at a ginger person eat a chicken salad sandwich. It just makes you scruntch up your face.
LOL!
That line is funny, because it’s so darn stupid. the rest just sounds like a combination of the most clicheed lines from lame stand-up comedy acts. And you say you love humor. May His noodly appendage comfort you lost soul.
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Oh….my….FSM!
This website is gay! If I’m on it will I catch the gay! Should I go wash my hands!
Furthermore it is not “ginger” the term is “pigment impaired”. We have been discriminated against for thousands of years, and just when we begin to make progress something like this happens and we are set back. When will people learn we are all the same black, white, extremely pale, we are all human under the great FSM.
By the way, anyone know a Jew we can hire.
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My dad’s jewish – he’s not really funny, but he IS cheap :-D
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Come now! Can’t we be avid fans of humor together? I think the majority of the content on Comedy Central and BET is inane, but I do not begrudge you your laffs. Similarly, while pictures of nude people may have you “rofl”-ing, I prefer, oh, I don’t know, wit.
PS: I believe the term is “archery”?
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“No one can laugh looking at ugly people in Halloween costumes.”
Au contrair, my deluded egotist. You wouldn’t know humor if it whacked you with a meat tenderizer. Made from a peg leg, of course.
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Ther eis one really funny of part of this website. The hatemail section.
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OK I AM PISSED AT YOU PASTAFARIANS WHO BELIEVE IN THIS FSM…. YOU ARE NOT PROMOTING A RELIGION AT ALL YOU ARE DOING IS PROMOTING ATHEISM AND MAKING FUN OF CHRISTIANS….YOU PEOPLE SHOULD NOT JUDGE OTHER RELIGIONS
(IS THAT NOT IN YOUR”GOSPEL OF TH FSM”)…..
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Shiver me timbers, mateys! Emily be on t’us!
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@ Emily #107,
You’re right! We’re not promoting a religion; while I disagree with your idea that we promote atheism(many of us are atheists and from your candor, you are not one. That makes you a minority, here. With no one to assist you in arguments, you would feel a little out of frame and it would appear we are promoting something. Its your perspective making you feel that way.), I will say we do get our jollies from mocking and joking about Christians. If you were on your favorite Christian website and one, lone dissenting voice shouted out, don’t lie to me and say you would pounce on them like a pack of mad hyenas!
I don’t try to offend His Noodlyness by judging your religion, or any others. But as I said, Christians are the pros in that arena. You, in paraphrase:”AM PISSED AT YOU PASTAFARIANS WHO BELIEVE IN THIS FSM…. “. It’s not because we’re picking at someone, its because of “This FSM”, that is the crux of your complaint. Aren’t you judging now, missy? You read the thread and got pissy because of all the off-color comments and saucy(Don’t you love that word?) banter about how stupid Christians can be. Truth hurts at times; put on your big girl panties and change the liner. This is the “Hate Mail” forum, you know. It’s like that sign says on log-flume rides:
“You will get wet, you may get SOAKED!”
RAmen!
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@107
For legal reasons we must state here that this is a real religion, as real as any other.
You’ve got Caps Lock on, by the way – are you shouting at us for believing in something different to what you do? Then it’s a pity, at first I thought there was hope for you. How dare you judge our religion?
Prepare yourself for a long dull life as a passenger, longing for miracles, while the logical thinkers keep the world around you from grinding to a halt.
Your full stop key sticks, too.
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this bloke is spot on and it is ginger….
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I liked the bit about adding some pizzas, though I would have thought that “pizza” is easier to spell than “spaghetti”.
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I don’t get this Flying Spaghetti Monster when you have Dawkins, a father of the new atheists (much or most of whom think with the cash or the crotch and think they can be rational or they do know truth and are pushing socially communist beliefs anyway–as they know it’s only about getting God’s influence out of society, even if it leaves us with the savagery that comes with people pleasing themselves increasingly without reservation) saying he thinks maybe mankind came from aliens. Scientology is a religion, Dawkins. Despite that, creationists get this flying spaghetti monster mockery.
How can anyone, religious or not, buy macroevolution from Big Science? They taught Piltdown Man for 40 years in school, obviously not having applied the scientific method to it, because they actually don’t care about science or scientific integrity if it might affect their grants, pleasing themselves (I believe some really do feel guilt and act like the worst behavior a religious person might adopt to fight it), career, or pride. Let’s see, we then have the environmentalist rite of liberalism. They also can gang up on dissenters unless the dissenter is George Carlin. Even he didn’t put those chicken littles out of business. Scientists can’t tell if Pluto is a planet. I can’t take these people seriously! People want to feel smart, so, if the Bible or their church gets questioned and the religious laypeople or clergy don’t have ready answers for what they believe, people automatically deduce that Big Science is the one that treats them with respect, when the latter is backed by racist, eugenic white men, who’ve wanted to get rid of people they don’t like and most of their targets are south of the (equatorial) border or descended from people of those lands. Whether it be contraception, environmentalism or macroevolution, it’s all about dehumanizing certain people they find a nuisance to get rid of them.
Whatever bad things Christians, anyway, did, it was at least not taught by their religion, but hating is central to Big Science (they just tell the people who want to feel smart that its reasonable or merciful to do abortions or to do embryonic stem cell research (another piece of B.S. that is pushed by Big Science, despite never working) and, at the same time, not experiment on animals.
I think it’s time for lay-people to start thinking for themselves, if they are going to say they do and not blindly and religiously accept the smooth talk that comes from Mt. Eugenic. Scientists, if you want to respect yourself, think objectively, speak out and free science from scientific dogma. Science is a tool; not a philosophy. It doesn’t have to be a 6 day creation, but, with the massive holes in the theories of the earth’s age and man’s origins, it’s probably not what you learned in schools either. Big Science has far more Galileo cases to face than the Catholic Church. If you don’t take this advice, don’t tell anyone else about thinking for themselves, esp. if you consider man coming from aliens.
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I’m sorry sir, but I believe you wouldn’t know humour if it hit you in the face like a particularly wet fish.
Also
“Looking at your website is like looking at a ginger person eat a chicken salad sandwich. It just makes you scruntch up your face.”
This shows quite plainly that you are a bigot, and also that you need to sue a spell checker more often.
Your bigotry and lack of humour dissuade me from even saying peace or RAmen to you…
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@ 113 – Phil
I really take issue with your characterisation of so-called “Big Science” and atheism.
Time and time again, people bring up what seems to be the innate “savagery” of humankind which is brought about whenever we act without the moral constraints of Christianity or any other organised religion. Saying that people, in their atheism, are completely unravelled morally is an empirical claim, and I’d like to see something propping up such a claim. There’s certainly a lot of historical evidence for the atrocities religion has caused, and is still causing to this day. In your defence, you could point to the modern 20th century regimes of Hitler and Stalin, whose total death toll numbers in the millions. However, to say that it has to be one or the other – either atheism or religion is evil – is the logical fallacy of false dichotomy (or the excluded middle). What I mean to say is that Muslim extremists who behead people, claiming to kill in the name of religion, doesn’t mean they kill because of religion. They are humans, and they are murderers – whether or not they go to church is frankly irrelevant – I can point to the fact that most people who claim to be religious do not go about murdering people in cold blood. On the flip side, I would also say that a lack of religion does not make one an immoral or dangerous individual. Humans are humans, no matter what label they choose to attach themselves to do, and sometimes human do atrocious things and they will always find reasons to justify themselves.
And for “Big Science”, I wonder at a number of your points. Firstly, you cannot accept macroevolution, why is microevolution more palatable? If a number of small changes can occur over a relatively short period of time, surely then a number of small changes can occur, accumulating over millions of years, and then before you know it, you have macroevolution.
Secondly, Piltdown man. Yes, it was a fake and caused a great deal of excitement in the scientific community, but this doesn’t make science or evolution dogmatic. Even at hoax’s beginnings, from 1912, there existed scepticism about the fossils, “G.S. Miller, for example, observed in 1915 that “deliberate malice could hardly have been more successful than the hazards of deposition in so breaking the fossils as to give free scope to individual judgment in fitting the parts together” and “In the decades prior to its exposure as a forgery in 1953, scientists increasingly regarded Piltdown as an enigmatic aberration inconsistent with the path of hominid evolution as demonstrated by fossils found elsewhere” (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Piltdown_Man). “Big Science” was not blindly accepting the fossils, not from its ‘discovery’ and before it was finally found out to be a hoax. As you can see, the scientific method was being used, as increased finds of hominid fossils over time produced a pattern, one that Piltdown man did not fit into. I will concede, however, that scientists allowed their scientific rigour to drop at this discovery, and pre-determined and cultural prejudices allowed them to accept the fossil much more readily than perhaps scrutiny would allow them. Yet the fact remains that the scientific consensus recognised its errors in time, and acted and modified its theories accordingly – if Piltdown man was taught for 40 years in schools then, it is no longer taught in schools (except perhaps in a lesson teaching the prudency of a calm, unbiased approach to evidence) and that shows that science is not so dogmatic as you may perceive.
Thirdly, regarding religion not teaching hatred, I’d like to pull out my good old friend – namely, the Old Testament. That book is filled with hatred, and God instructing others to act in hateful ways – murdering your brother, for example, if he should choose to worship any other god than Yahweh. Sure enough there’s the New Testament, which in comparison to the patriarchal, bigot of before, makes Jesus look like a hippy. But he has a good message, my personal favourite his teachings amongst them being love thy neighbour. As for science teaching hatred, well I’ve always thought that “Big Science” was always rather impersonal in this regard. Science has indeed inspired not so pleasant thoughts in some people’s minds, the example you mentioned being eugenics. Again, I’d like to point to my paragraph above – I claim neither religion nor atheism nor science preaches hatred as its central tenets, though some individuals sometimes do. Racisms already existed before eugenics, the unhappy history of the Jews shows us that, and many perceived evolution as justifying their preconceived notions. People will justify themselves and their beliefs in any number of ways – those people who killed or sterilised the disabled didn’t kill because they believed science taught hatred, but because they were already racist (and I cringe at a term like evil, but perhaps it’s fitting here) people and people always need a justification for their actions, even an ad hoc one.
Then the Dawkins-alien thing you mentioned a couple of times, was that because he speculated there might be alien civilisations on other planets? Because a cursory glance at Google didn’t show me anything about Dawkins saying mankind came from aliens. I’d like to answer your point, but I’m unsure as to what you mean.
As for telling people to speak and think freely, here’s a point we can both wholeheartedly agree on. Think freely, but also think critically and clearly.
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oh my *** (dont wanna offend anyone:P )
This site in itself i find very amusing – and THEN you get to the hatemails – ROFL!!!! I love you guys’n'girls 2 much for all this xD It was certainly worth my time reading :) Keep it up.
I also enjoyed the clever answers and such, all very informative XD
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“I watch Comedy Central and BET every day.”
I stopped taking this guy seriously the moment I read that. This has also got to be the most racist e-mail I’ve read on this site so far.
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@ 115
Laurel:
Your entire argument is very concise, informative, and eloquent. Thank you.
“As for telling people to speak and think freely, here’s a point we can both wholeheartedly agree on. Think freely, but also think critically and clearly.”
Ramen!
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Blind jokes AND racist? You sir are a clASSy guy.
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Wow, were you trying to make jokes?
Dude, you are not one to talk.
Clearly the only humor you enjoy comes from nudity, sex, and stupid toilet humor.
I’m not saying that if those jokes are thought over and made by a good comedian that those jokes can’t be funny, but you don’t understand that there are different kinds of humor that people enjoy whether it is satire, toilet humor, or just some light poetry jokes. Just because you watch Comedy Central, doesn’t mean you are the comedy God. And with what you think is funny (aka your sad excuse at a joke), you are not even close.
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“”OK I AM PISSED AT YOU PASTAFARIANS WHO BELIEVE IN THIS FSM…. YOU ARE NOT PROMOTING A RELIGION AT ALL YOU ARE DOING IS PROMOTING ATHEISM AND MAKING FUN OF CHRISTIANS….YOU PEOPLE SHOULD NOT JUDGE OTHER RELIGIONS
(IS THAT NOT IN YOUR”GOSPEL OF TH FSM”)…..”"
I do hope you burn in the fiery pits of hell, out of reach of His Holy Noodleness where all the strippers have std’s and there will be no beer volcanoes.
soz for the hate talk but he shivvers my timbers
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“I watch Comedy Central and BET everyday” BLAHAHAHA!!! You must be a comedic genius!
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OK may i just make the point that this person does a great dis-service to all lovers of humor satire and sarcasm. The idea which Bobby has bought forth onto the pages is the internet it the closest thing i have found to something that the late great Douglas Adams would have produced, and I’m sure he would have loved it. Secondly and my main point for writing this is that this person does a great dis-service to those Pastafarian such as myself who have the name josh.
May you be touched by his Noodley Appendage and have some sense of humor bestowed upon you.
RAmen
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What’s your fuckin’ problem. Keep these letters to yourself, Jackass
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Are some peoples’ forum responses sarcasticly offended at josh? I can’t tell. Someone let me know if i’m daft…cuz some pastafarians here sound mad with no funny. josh…you know, JOSH. ‘Reread the letter’ is a mantra here, no? Satire of satire is still satire.
Ramen
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Wow, Josh. Thanks.
Now we all know what humor really is.
It isn’t wit, or relateable concepts,
but rather, it’s lots of nudity,
which is also, according to Josh,
“the whole point of owning a website”.
Hey Josh, here’s an idea:
since you’re such a damn expert,
with your patronage of comedy central,
and all,
Why not start a website yourself?
You can upload as many pictures of your dumps as you want!
You can even post nudes!
You’ve shown us all your amazing wit,
with your side-spliting jokes about Stevie Wonder and ginger kids.
That shit was so DAMN funny.
It really was great.
I’m sure a ton of people give a shit about what somebody like you has to say.
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“Looking at your website is like looking at a ginger person eat a chicken salad sandwich. It just makes you scruntch up your face.” What is this suppose to mean?
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Grace Murphy, you’re telling Josh to keep his letters to himself? why? a pasta monster creating the world is sensical? I think this “Bobby” character should’ve kept his letters to himself.. in my opinion.
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I think the primary purpose of Pastafarianism’s creation was primarily to make a statement about the potential teaching of ID(BS) in science classes.
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he kinda ruined his credibility the second he mentioned that he was easily sucked in by cults.
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You bible-banging bastards!
Ramen to our Noodley Savior!
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It’s not about the humor. The point is that there is as much evidence for our noodley god as there is to every other god out there. Only our god doesn’t contradict himself and he is made out of spagetti.
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Quote: “your gay website”
Evidently this website has sex with other websites of the same gender. Hmmm.Kinky!
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normally i put snarky remarks to hate mail. but i agree josh the combination of chruch and state is no joke at all. thank god we have people and groups to call the goverment out on that.
may you forever be touched by his noodely apendage
RAmen
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Actually, I heard Stevie Wonder has amazing archery skillz (…not really sure why I used the “Z” but ah well…). Being blind has given him near Dare(-?)Devil-like hearing and such… That’s how he plays the piano and defends the world from zombies so well.
RAmen!
-Cap’m RedTom
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Even with a link to the letter being the FIRST THING you see on the front page, there are still tons of people who don’t bother to read it. There would be a lot less of this if they did…
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This guy is COMEDIC GENIUS! Just look at these hilarious remarks he made. “You either need to hire a Jew to add a punchline every now and again, or call it quits.” “Looking at your website is like looking at a ginger person eat a chicken salad sandwich.”
Also, this website main purpose wasn’t just to be a humorous website, it’s taking a bash at people who want to teach ID in schools.
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heyyyyyyy cming all the way from scotlnd. k first thngs first josh NVR FUKING SLAG OFF DANE COOK. u slag of a guy who is genious while u thing fart jokes are funny serious, nd if nobody likes wt we believe then fuk off. obtw see all you stupid christians nd catholics at least we believe in something tht makes sense jesus walkd on water, so did chris angel but hes still a fake, ure god tlks to u in ure dreams ye its called fuking dreaming, jesus gt ressurected tht sounds like a fairy tale. honestly the guy who wrote the bible frgt to right fiction on the back. no one waants to listen to ure made up bullshit and if they do they already follow tht crap
all hail fsm and his almighty noodlyness1
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w8 i frgt to say am 6ft 4 “ginger” ( i personally prefer to call my hair african sunset) a big fan od dane cook and comedy central, i knw gay ppl, i am straight as well bt thts my choice. i dnt like people slaging of my beliefs. well am sorry i dnt stay at home all day wanking off to porn and laughing at poo, cus obviously thts wt real comedy is, supposidly we gt it all wrong, well this isnt comical website. its wt we wnt to believe so fuk of or al cme over to america n the first flight pull dwn my kilt (we dnt were kilts nly fr special ocasions like ths) grab my big ginger balls and cumm all over ure mums face while she begs fr mre, dnt wry al take a foto off my poo if u really wnt
RAmen
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A bow and arrow contest…that’s fucking classic!
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the insertion of simple similies gives this man first hand knowledge on what humor really is…
Looking at your website is like looking at a ginger person eat a chicken salad sandwich
seriously???what a fucktard
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That’s what this site is missing, Bobby, bigotry and bathroom humor!
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Note use of “gay” as an insult.
Not only does this person refuse to be touched by His Noodly Appendage, he’s a homophobe too.
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I am ginger sir and I am offended by your remarks but his noodleness forbids me from acting out in anger.
RAmen
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For someone that doesn’t like Jews or Gays, you certainly seem to have a bunch of great friends on this website. THANK THE FSM FOR THE GIFT OF SARCASM.
May pesto be upon him, RAmen
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I sense a stick in this one, far up the ass, clearly this man needs a life, as do most people who send hate mail
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so humour makes him laugh? incredible powers of deduction. I am in your awe sir.
Tool
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Humor is very subjective, true, so anyone who doesn’t find your site funny, Bobby, has a right to his own opinion. However, he is missing he larger point, and the larger good you do. I have just bought a new summer FSM Teeshirt to show my support. I think the FSM website is very funny, and I am known for my sense of humor, Far and Wide.
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Wow, get a life. It truly shows you do not get the true concept of pastaforianism.
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I also scrunch up my face watching a ginger person eating a chicken salad sandwich. Then again, I scrunch up my face watching a maryann person eat a corned beef reuben, too. Go figure.
RAmen
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