Hello my name is Christian which means servant of the Christ. The LORD says that in the end, many false teachers will rise, darwin, muhammed and even your own bobby. I will not be swayed because i have met God. God warns that you cannot explain spiritual things to mortals because they don’t understand them. When you accept God, you are entered by the Holy Spirit of God Himself. That is why i cannot ever be convinced of your fruitless lies. I have personally seen the great power God commands. I will continue to log onto this site for a long time now. For if even one soul be saved while i am here, well in good deeds, none is greater. The LORD is my shield. I will never be convinced by words because words are not as powerful as actions. God has granted me great faith and understanding and as long as the earth endures i will fear no evil for God is with me. You will call me stupid and you will mock me, but unless you become as powerful as Holy Yahweh overnight, and then share a portion of that power with me so that i may never die, i will not be fooled. For the whole world will HATE you because of me-Jesus to His followers- I beg thee to end this, then you will see and and the Truth will shine like 1000 suns. May the Lord Jesus rule over God’s people forever Amen.
-Christian
Hello my name is Christian which means servant of the Christ
Published by Bobby Henderson November 8th, 2008 in Hate Mail (and concerned criticism). 330 Comments
330 Responses to “Hello my name is Christian which means servant of the Christ”
If you met God, how could you possibly still doubt Pastafarianism?
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Hi there. My name is Aurora, which means “a Disney Princess who is too lazy to get out of bed”. Since I’m royalty, I say begone with you, and don’t bother coming back.
I’ve got three fairy FSMmothers, and I’m not afraid to use them.
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This post has good and valuable information, Is nice to see some good articles like this one, thank you.
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“i have met God”
I always thought drugs were frowned upon in the modern Christian teachings.
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I really liked the way they came off
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I just wanted to say that I love this site
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Please tell me, how did god enter you? And remember: Getting raped as a kid by a priest does not count!
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Nice little prayer there.
There are only two things wrong with it.
1. You’re praying to the wrong god. FSM is the only true god.
2. You ended your prayer wrong. It’s “RAmen” not “Amen”
It’s Ok. I just hope that you can learn from your mistakes.
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I notice that you write god with a capital G,but Darwin,Muhammad and Bobby without.Those are name,god is not a name.
I supposed that is the way to respect other people for you.
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Firstly, Christian means follower of Christ which is Greek for anointed as mentioned earlier- secondly proper names are supposed to use capital letters but most importantly and I mean this – GET A LIFE! I mean someone who has entered the Spirit of the Lord – just sounds really disturbing. I always got the impression God was a bit of a hands off deity. I mean he has yet to fire a thunder bolt at Fred Phelps, if he did that or something really creative he’d have a lot of people worship him.
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“God warns that you cannot explain spiritual things to mortals because they don’t understand them”
convenient
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Hello Dafyyd Thomas!
Are you the only gay Christian in the global village?
do you also hate “lesbos” and “faggots”?
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We should take him to see a horror film since he’s not scared of anything, then bundle him up, throw him in my trunk, cement his feet then throw him into the lochness monsters home we will show him fear, oh yes we will!
Anyone wanna help, I need the cement but other than that I have everything else
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If you’ve seen God,then you’re either SUPER SPECIAL or just schizophrenic.Yahweh is a stupid name, btw. ^_^
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Christian, it’s probally been said, but you’re wasting your time. I don’t know how many letters you’ve written, but you still don’t get it do you? Now I know the speed of dumb. You’re letters only strengthen the message of this site. Hate mail from indoctrinated zombies like you take pride of place here – have you seriously not noticed?
Just to fire you up for another round of laughs on you – tell your god he can lick my sack. And when he’s done with that, could he please grow you a brain – cause your whole life is a practical joke bud. You’ve been had – you’ve been fooled, and here you’re the but of the joke – the illustration of the point. By all means stick around – but dont waste too much time, cause this brief existance is the only one you’re gonna get. Is that tough? Sure it is, but hiding from it won’t make a lick of difference.
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…And His noodly awesomeness has warned me against your false god. He spoke to me through pastakenisis and told me that the “god” of Abraham would corrupt the masses, telling them they must obey and convert or as you say “save”. Well I wont let it happen to me, may his noodly appendage protect me always from the raving lunatics. Why can’t you just see our way?
RAmen
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Wow. This guy has not only managed to try to insult us Pastafarians but had then gone on to (well.. attempt to) insult Muslims and Charles Darwin. In the first two sentences. So much for “Love your neighbour as you love thyself”.
RAmen
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Christian, may I note that you, like most “Christians”, have unfortunately missed “the point”. Missing the point usually occurs when people value the black-and-white validity of something (self-righteously labeled “truth), over what’s really important- how certain “truths” impact us. Especially when it comes to supernatural phenomena and God, it’s quite arrogant to think that we could actually “know” God. That’s just the ego talking, shamelessly defining who “God” is, so as to give the illusion of control. One thing I dislike most about Christianity, is that God is defined and interpreted, and even shaped according to the evolution of culture– which essentially makes God the manifestation of our Ego– reversing made in his image to God being made in our image. But if that wasn’t bad enough already, Christians treat this “God” as independent from ourselves– thus, even though this “God” was essentially created by Christians, they blame God for anything that happens, rely on God when things aren’t going their way, and count on God to cover all the travel expenses and arrangements for a perpetual vacation with bliss so great it’s beyond our imagination– all while the same time sending all the people that Christians strongly disagree with to hell, even if they would otherwise be considered good people.
false prophets? dude, if you’re concerned about that, target the real threats, which are actually universally accepted and taken very seriously. Join Anonymous– the seem to target any religion or political movement that is over-controlling- and if one world government is what you’re concerned about, something like that can only be accomplished (if it’s even possible with one of two extremes– socialism or fascism- neither of which FSM can be considered. If I were you, I would send endless amounts of hate mail to TCS (the Church of Scientology)like there’s no tomorrow. Fortunately I’m not you, and I so I wouldn’t consider doing something nearly obnoxious and pointless anyway; the only reason I suggested hatemail is because it seems that’s the only way you are capable of getting “the message” across (otherwise you wouldn’t be wasting time doing it.) but if I were not you, but as blindly passionate of a so-called Christian as you, I would probably join Anon, since they’re the best change of stopping TCS, thus making them/it the logical first step.
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“Bx 32 Says:
There is no way this is actual hate mail; nobody is this stupid”
you’d be surprised! I’ve actually (sad but true) met people a lot more “stupid” than this. But even though he appears to be stupid, he may well be relatively intelligent, even educated. It’s a terrible thing, religion. To quote from this guy’s own book, “At the time of the end, even the wise will be led astray” and what more effective way to do so then to use their own book against them, through skewed views, selective interpretation, as historically ignorant text-evaluations.
what Christians don’t get, is that when it comes to “one world government”s, the Bible is the best candidate to make it happen, since it’s so compatible with most religions, and so universally known and historically accepted. Constantine proved that when he singlehandedly reunited the roman empire under “Christianity”– that’s when so many pagan traditions got integrated into Christianity.
Satan is a devil in disguise- and sorry to say followers of Christ, but as far as the apocalypse is concerned, that makes your most sacred book the most religiously and spiritually dangerous book on earth.
so don’t just take it for granted- make sure you know what you believe in, why you believe it, and how your beliefs affect things in the long run. conformity should be the greatest enemy of anymore who takes their beliefs seriously, because when you conform, you ‘miss the point’.
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my God, i thought you were going to chip in with some decisive insght at the end there, not leave it with
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What a douche. Its fine if you have your own faith. No one cares. But in your pompous and assinine post, you saw fit to demean: us, Muslims, and Charles Darwin. Its people like you who made the holocaust and attcked the twin towers. Also, you claim t have SEEN god? Is that a metaphor? If not, your obviously schizophrenic and should have yourself committed. Peace.
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266 – March 16th, 2009 at – Lucious Perkins Says:
“…And His noodly awesomeness has warned me against your false god. He spoke to me through pastakenisis and told me that the “god” of Abraham would corrupt the masses, telling them they must obey and convert or as you say “save”. Well I wont let it happen to me, may his noodly appendage protect me always from the raving lunatics. Why can’t you just see our way? ”
You the man Perkins… I have long believed in Pastakenesis and I can prove that Telekenesis is a feeble and weak parody.
All that believe in telekenisis ( or the Christian god for that matter ) raise my hand.
See? Stupid biatches.
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WAKE UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! yOU IDIOTS
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Ok DEREK, I’m awake (who could sleep through all that shouting). And your point is????
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Why is anyone surprised that Christian attacked anyone who didn’t agree with the world vision drilled into him? Don’t you know that churches are the most divisive institutions there are? Here in America there is a growing trend to not only have “Korean Lutheran” or “Greek Orthodox” churches, but even those who don’t openly advertise the ethnicity that want in conjunction with the sect are still polarized. So even if the marquee doesn’t state it, it becomes obvious this church is the “Czech” Catholic church, or there are the white and black Baptist ones.
It’s just another way for people to feel superior.
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My name is Ryk which means chauffeur of God.
I too have met God. His name is Stan, he lives up the block. I have seen him turn water in to beer. This miracle also involves grain, yeast, and hops. It is very cool. He also has beautiful twenty something girls always coming over to boink him, even though he is in his sixties. This is also cool. These miracles convince me he is a God. Perhaps not the God but a God. The fact of his divinity combined with his miracles involving beer and strippers have made a convert of me.
Like Christian whos name means servant of God, I am not to be swayed by words. I am to be swayed by beer and strippers. This being said, will the FSM object to my worship of Stan who is up the block. Is it blasphemous or is his Noodliness down with that.
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Oh, man. Jesus hates me? That’s a bummer.
[Especially because he's supposed to love me no matter what.]
I’ll bet you’re really fun at parties.
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@ – DEREK #273,
Your Caps Lock key is stuck, and your iteration speed is too fast for your typing speed.
Reality check, DEREK, talking snakes?
RAmen
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ok ok dont be that hard on him, he problably got gang raped or something
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Hello my name is Pastafarian which means server of pasta. The FLYING SPAGHETTI MONSTER says that in the end, many false teachers will rise, Phil the short order chef manager, Noah the pesterance of pirates and even your own zombie, Jesus. I will not be swayed because I have met pasta. The FSM warns that you cannot explain spiritual things to mortals because they don’t understand them. When you accept the FSM, you are entered by the running to get a prime spot by the beer volcano and the stripper factory. That is why i cannot ever be convinced of your fruitless lies. I have personally seen the great power the FSM commands. I will continue to log onto this site for a long time now. For if even one soul be saved while i am here, well in good deeds, none is greater. The Flying Spaghetti Monster is my shield. I will never be convinced by words because words are not as powerful as actions. The FSM has granted me great faith and understanding and as long as the earth endures I will fear no evil for the FSM is with me. You will call me stupid and you will mock me, but unless you become as powerful as the multi-appendaged Flying Spaghetti Monster overnight, and then share a portion of that noodly power with me so that i may never die, i will not be fooled. For the whole world will say “meh, whatever” to you because of me-Zombie Jesus eats his followers- I beg thee to end this, then you will see and the Truth will shine like 1000 suns. May the noodly Flying Spaghetti Monster rule over the FSM’s pirates forever Ramen.
-Pastafarian
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dood, we’re not going to stop. we arent saying anything against your religion except that it is total bs, just leve us alon lest piraqte break ionto your house one night, cut off all of your hair, and stuff it into your dog, which will thenbe forced to puke the hair upon you… so decrees the flying spaghetti monster. No seriously dude, boobs or gtfo
AE. Please leave… none of us will be swayed by your lowly comment of nonsense and stuff.
May the pasta be with you,
Ramen
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O his Holiness the Flying Spaghetti Monster will damn you to the eternal pit of scalding sauce for your blasphemy! Change your ways Derek before His Carbaceousness sends his minions of doom after you… It’s not too late to appease Him that you may also feel the warm gooeyness of His Noodleship.
Seriously now…Derek, if your god is all that you say he is, why do you feel the need to defend him? I would think that an all-powerful, magical being would pretty much be able to handle his own business, no? Just sit back and laugh with the rest of the sheep and piss away the only life you have while waiting for heaven. The rest of us will be out here in REALITY if you need us…
P.S. If heaven’s so great, why are all of you so scared to die? Also, why do you cry at funerals? Shouldn’t it be a big party? “WOO HOO Aunt Doris is partying with the Lord!!!!!!” I don’t get it…
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Wait a second… The OP says ‘the LORD has told me that in the end times, many false teachers will rise, darwin, muhammed, even your own bobby,’ well, this ‘LORD’ must have his historical knowledge mixed up. Muhammed started his teachings in 622 a.d., the islmaic calendar even starts there. So unless the world ended 1400 years ago, your LORD is wrong. Funny that i, a teenager, know this, but your LORD doesnt. Hmm.
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“You will call me stupid and you will mock me”
Aha! So even Christian has a small sense of Pastakenesis, He knows what i was going to do before i did it! amazing…
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Ну а что еще писать шоб не потерли? :)
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So I posted something here yesterday and it never showed up…what’s the deal???
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Sorry, Christian,
But “Christian” is actually an ancient Babylonian obscenity that refers to certain acts with a goat. It wash considered hilarious when a certain self important group adopted the name for their members and their use of the name is responsible for several wars when that group was universally met with raucous laughter every time they went to the watering hole.
The “become powerful over night and give me enough power so I’ll never die” is a Nigerian scam. It’s on all the blogs.
Again, sorry.
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“Truth will shine like 1000 suns”
AUCH!
I don’t want to be blinded, nor want I to be burnt!
Seems like you better go to hell, I don’t think Satan will be able to make the heat of a 1000 suns hit you.
I’ll just keep following his Noodlyness, at least He feeds te hungry
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I have just received a pastakinetic message from the Lord our Monster… he challenges your puny god to a cage fight in the PastaDome…
Two gods enter, one god leave…
PS
If yours fails to appear then it is a forfeit on his behalf.
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“When you accept God, you are entered by the Holy Spirit of God Himself.”
I Don’t think I’d want my children to be around this “Holy Spirit” Of this “God” person. Then again, at least he waits for consent.
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Hello my name is simon, and I love to make drawings.
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If you talk to God, you’re religious. If God talks to you, you’re insane.
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“…And His noodly awesomeness has warned me against your false god. He spoke to me through pastakenisis…”
Although I agree with you, I respectfully remind you that the FSM has in it’s list of I’d Really Rather You Didn’t :
7. I’d Really Rather You Didn’t Go Around Telling People I Talk To You. You’re Not That Interesting. Get Over Yourself. And I Told You To Love Your Fellow Man, Can’t You Take A Hint?
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what a racist anti muslim anti science frereak
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“That is why i cannot ever be convinced of your fruitless lies.”
Sure, the “lies” may be fruitless, but they are full of meatball-y goodness…
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Christian if your “God” is so great and powerful why then did he let a fucking crack addict break into my house while I was at work and kill my wife and daughter for nothing more than 20 fucking dollars?
Your “God” is a bent cock sucking, man fucking, faggot and pedophile and I hope you die a horrible and painful death very very soon.
All the best
Adam
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stupid zealot.i have a few words for you:starvation.diesaese.pain.crime.violence.death.
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I am MORE powerful than Holy Yahweh right now! I will move any object up to 200 pounds, then dare him to move something even half that weight. Bet he doesn’t.
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God is the supernatural being conceived as the perfect and omnipotent and omniscient originator and ruler of the universe. So does it matter what that God is? No
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Beliveing in god is l;ike beliveing in an harry potter book.
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