Hello my name is Christian which means servant of the Christ. The LORD says that in the end, many false teachers will rise, darwin, muhammed and even your own bobby. I will not be swayed because i have met God. God warns that you cannot explain spiritual things to mortals because they don’t understand them. When you accept God, you are entered by the Holy Spirit of God Himself. That is why i cannot ever be convinced of your fruitless lies. I have personally seen the great power God commands. I will continue to log onto this site for a long time now. For if even one soul be saved while i am here, well in good deeds, none is greater. The LORD is my shield. I will never be convinced by words because words are not as powerful as actions. God has granted me great faith and understanding and as long as the earth endures i will fear no evil for God is with me. You will call me stupid and you will mock me, but unless you become as powerful as Holy Yahweh overnight, and then share a portion of that power with me so that i may never die, i will not be fooled. For the whole world will HATE you because of me-Jesus to His followers- I beg thee to end this, then you will see and and the Truth will shine like 1000 suns. May the Lord Jesus rule over God’s people forever Amen.
-Christian
Hello my name is Christian which means servant of the Christ
Published by Bobby Henderson November 8th, 2008 in Hate Mail (and concerned criticism). 330 Comments
330 Responses to “Hello my name is Christian which means servant of the Christ”
@199
I would beg to differ with the idea that one isn’t supposed to ask questions. Different religions have different degrees of orthodoxy, that is, how much deviation from certain approved mythological sources is allowed, and how many sources are approved. Some religions do off with orthodoxy almost entirely and fall entirely onto orthopraxy. Thus those concern themselves not with the beliefs of the individual but with the propriety of the actions.
and as restrictive as that may sound, it is the nature of anything that organizes, any social structure is shaped and constrained by the culture it develops in, and also constrains the culture… to a limit, there is always free will and variance in interpretation of life.
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not wanting to die eh. So you are in it for the immortality to huh?
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This always confused me, so i’ll put it out there. For so many years, Christians have said ‘God masks his presence to test our faith’. Honestly guys, why? If God wanted to be worshipped so badly by those whom he created, why would he give the most obscure reasons to believe? Because, really, if at high noon one day, a lightning-bolt came from the clouds and split the ground in twain, a huge monolith of the creator rising from the ground as the angels sang from the Heavens, I swear there’d be little protest against his being. Wouldn’t that honestly be easier for him to do than to leave ‘clues’ and ‘hints’ to his being throughout history?
Oh and just while i’m ranting, why on earth would he create hate, greed, iggnorance, etc, in the first place? If God created all the good, he also created the bad, -all- of it. What the heck was the point of -that-? Another thing to ‘test’ your faith? The divine being in the universe wants to cause thousands of years of pain, hate, starving and death to test those who would be worthy to walk in heaven?
Why didn’t he just make -everyone- worthy to walk in heaven? He made us (apperently), all of us, and he made the way we think. So why not just make everyone a pure, good, whole-hearted person? Look at it from the big picture, Christians, it doesn’t make sense. He made everyone differently, and he made some people filled with hate and rage to test the other guys he made (the ones he filled with happiness and sugar) to deem who was worthy of getting into the heaven he created for the guys who passed the test. If that’s the case, God isn’t sane. And if he’s not sane, he is not a God.
RAmen all.
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did Mr Christian just use “Yahweh”? And isn’t that the HEBREW name for God?
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Piratey Ninja,
You have hit the nail on the head. God is fundamentally immoral on several occassions. To list a few:
1) It is fundamentally immoral to deny someone of the knowledge of good and evil and then punish them when they transgress. This was the case for Adam and Eve in the garden.
2) It is fundamentally immoral to hold absolute power over a weaker creature and then subject them to continuous threats and torture. This is what god does to us every day.
3) It is fundamentally immoral to give man free will, tell them to be good or else, but then flood their lands or burn their cities without giving them a chance to express their free will and change.
I could go on, but why? Clearly these immoral acts deny god of his godhood status. He is a narcisistic bully with self worth issues.
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Hmm,
and there i thought Christian meant victimized alter boy?
Go figure…
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Know what? We need catchy language like christians have. With all yer ‘thou’ ‘thau’ and ‘thee’ stuff, no wonder you are all-powerful? I’d be like “thou needest to wakest up and realize thee numbskullery of thy religious incantations. thy noggin is full of thee poop!” and “thy noodly goodness supplies me with thy mostest powerful power-like-stuff known as the carbohydrate” Which by the way, is way more useful than praying! Go play in the road, Christian…….
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Actually, I think God is more of a dry drunk. That’s because the FSM won’t let him anywhere near the beer volcano, either fresh or stale.
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Hello Christian, my name is Kathleen which is derived from the name Katherine, which has several possible meanings.
“From the Greek name Αικατερινη (Aikaterine). The etymology is debated: it could derive from the earlier Greek name ‘Εκατερινη (Hekaterine), which came from ‘εκατερος (hekateros) “each of the two”; it could derive from the name of the goddess HECATE; it could be related to Greek αικια (aikia) “torture”; or it could be from a Coptic name meaning “my consecration of your name”. In the early Christian era it became associated with Greek καθαρος (katharos) “pure”, and the Latin spelling was changed from Katerina to Katharina to reflect this.” (www.behindthename.com)
Just because your name means something does not mean that you have to be a holier-than-thou ass.
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i think that this is all a bunch of bullshit. and anyway im jewish but still this guy is fucking retarded
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Nathaniel: Good point. I seem to remember something along the lines of ‘the Christian god’s name is too holy to be pronounced by us mere mortals, and thus we refer to him simply with ‘God’.’ (Sweden is protestant/lutheran (whichever), btw.)
Ye gods, you’re not telling me I’m a better christian than this fanboy??
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Physics Wench,
Um…I don’t know quite how to say this…it’s a bit embarrasing…but, you kinda turn me on.
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GROW UP!!!! quit being such a douchebag. do you find me telling you how to live your life? NO. quit preaching to me before I bumrape you with a rosary.
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Yo Christian, I would like to make a concern on how you have behaving so ludacris to tghe people in whom belives it. You kno wt i have to make a comment on Jesus HE IS ONLY A PROPHET NOT A GOD GOT THAT so shutup with your whiny things and go away as a matter of fact u dont belong in this world. SO FUCK U jesus is a prophet dont make fun of muhhamed or i WILL KILL U
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Its not like we are saying bad comments on the Christainity
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y’know whats odd about most of the people who send this hate-mail?: they write of god as if they have proof of his existence. I actually believe in god, but the key word is BELIEVE. i can prove the existence of scarlet o’harra, or achilles as easily as i can prove god. god didn’t give me belief. i choose to believe. as a result, i cant tell anybody that their beliefs are wrong. this is also why i choose to be a pastafarian. what better faith than in a religion that is as intentionally fun and funny, as all the other religions end up being by accident when zealots take them to extremes.
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I love how little any of these idiots actually know about Christian theology. Where does it say in the bible that “you can’t explain spiritual matters to mortals.” They can’t even get fundamentalism right.
Her time might be better spent looking for the ark, or disputing carbon dating, or proving that the earth is 5000 years old, or surfing the focus of the family website.
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Dearest Christian,
While reading your post I came to the conclusion that you may be mildly retarded…not for believing in Jesus Christ, but for your belief that the END OF DAYS spans the distance between the time MUHAMMAD lived (CE 570-632), to the life of CHARLES DARWIN (CE 1809-1882), to the present year (CE 2008). How fucking long is this APOCALYPSE/TRIBULATION supposed to last? It seems that no two PROTESTANT denominations can agree on this point. And let us not forget our fine CATHOLIC and EASTERN ORTHODOX friends, not to mention the JEWISH, HINDU, BUDDHIST and MUSLIM populations of the world. Maybe a good secular psychologist could help un-muddle your thinking!
I have no quarrel with religion in principle. In fact, I know many religious people who are kind, generous, smart and creative…they are some of the best folks I know. It just seems that fanatical thinking, and I mean ANY FANATICAL THINKING (religious, political or otherwise), blurs the line between fantasy and reality and obscures fundamental truths while leaving little or no room for the gray area where most of the world resides.
Religion and spirituality should be private matters anyway…I no more want to hear about your relationship with Jesus Christ than you want to hear about some crazy girl’s astrological sign or what the last visit to her psychic revealed about future relationships or past lives. Treat people with respect and dignity, live and let live, and for GOD’s sake, unless you are asked, KEEP YOUR BELIEFS TO YOURSELF!
Sincerely,
JIM
P.S. What good can come from fostering hatred and intolerance?
P.P.S. And, while I’m asking questions, why do you give a shit about the state of my IMMORTAL SOUL?
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DUDE!? you met god?! can you bring him to my house for christmas? but don’t bother to ask him to bring his son, he made that fucker die remember? cuz that’s who we should all worship right? some ass-hole who killed his own son? yeah… that’s amazing…
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OK, look, I am Jewish, and I know that you cannot meet god in any form besides the FSM
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Christian = servant of Christ
Therefore Plebeian = servant of plebes?
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Hello my name is Christian, which means ignorant donkey. Oh, and you have met God? How is he feeling today? Any rapture threats? How’s Jesus?Need I say more?
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“You will call me stupid and you will mock me, but unless you become as powerful as Holy Yahweh overnight, and then share a portion of that power with me so that i may never die, i will not be fooled.”
I have spoken to His Almightyness, the Flying Spaghetti Monster itself, and petitioned that He shares His power with you so that your soul may be saved.
He said, it’s ok, done deal! You’re going to bask in FSM power after death. So, welcome to the flock, then. :-)
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mmmm i like this new god, i ate part of him a few days ago.
Not like the other god/s out there not giving me anything.
RAmen
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Technically, Muhammad is the same god as the christian god XDDDD
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It seems that you are breaking the first of the I’d Really Rather You Didnt’s, in which you are acting like a holier-than-thou ass. If you think that another religion is wrong, Christian, then take it out on another religion, such as-
-Buddhism
-Hinduism
-Islam
-Judaism
-Paganism
-Protestantism
-Or even the Church of The Invisible Pink Unicorn.’
Just don’t mess with us.
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“many false teachers will rise, darwin, muhammed”
You can’t really have a go at Darwin, He’s accomplished what you’re failing to do – Prove what he believed in.
And secondly, Muhammed?
That’s a bit harsh, seeing as Islam has not only existed longer then your religion, but there is actually a reason why someone would make up your religion, and it goes along with everything. Funny that.
Oh btw, seeing as you’re here do you think you can quickly explain the fact that your religion took stories from Paganism and Hellenic Paganism?
I mean, you laugh at those religions yet you took their stories. :]
They did come before you.
And stop trying to sound like something out of the bible, you’re sounding like a zealous, fundamentalist, egotistical, close-minded bastard.
Finally, if we’re on here we already care more about the state of Outer Mongolian Politics then what you believe in.
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I believe that the FSM is the same as the Christian god/Muslim god/all the other religions gods. In his divine/noodley wisdom/awesomeness, he created a slice of religion for all of us to partake in no matter our taste (he even created “morals” for those who didn’t want any religion).
Bobby = Five letters
Jesus = Five letters
Coincidence? I think not.
(Sorry if this point has been made, kinda new to the whole Pastafarian thing.)
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“You will call me stupid and you will mock me, but unless you become as powerful as Holy Yahweh overnight, and then share a portion of that power with me so that i may never die, i will not be fooled.”
So you’re saying that you’re Christian unless a better offer comes along?
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@ Yelonde
Muhammad is actually a guy who lived circa 600 AD and wrote the Koran. Allah is the name of the Muslim God, and He is the same as the Jewish/Christian God.
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I hope one day you will find your way to the love of the REAL Lord.
RAmen
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But it was soo easy!!!!!!!!!
Hello my name is GENIUS, which means DEVOTER TO THE FLYING SPAGHETTI MONSTER The MONSTER says that in the end, many false teachers will rise, darwin, muhammed and even your own bobby. I will not be swayed because i have met SPAGHETTI. FLYING SPAGHETTI MONSTER warns that you cannot explain spiritual things to mortals because they don’t understand them. When you accept MONSTER, you are entered by the HOLY DINNER PLATE OF MORTALS. That is why i cannot ever be convinced of your fruitless lies. I have personally seen the great power FLYING SPAGHETTI MONSTER commands. I will continue to log onto this site for a long time now. For if even one soul be saved while i am here, well in good deeds, none is greater. The MONSTER is my shield. I will never be convinced by words because words are not as powerful as actions. FLYING SPAGHETTI MONSTER has granted me great faith and understanding and as long as the earth endures i will fear no evil for MONSTER is with me. You will call me stupid and you will mock me, but unless you become as powerful as Holy Yahweh overnight, and then share a portion of that power with me so that i may never die, i will not be fooled.
For the whole world will EAT you because of me-Flying spaghetti Monster to His followers- I beg thee to end this, then you will see and and the Truth will shine like 1000 suns. May the FLYING CARBOHYDRATE AND PROCESSED MEAT rule over Monster’s people forever BON APPETIT’!
-
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Dude i bet ur a jehova’s witness and according to that particular set of christian teachings theres only like 500 000 spots in heaven…. quit trying to make us convert and save a spot for your self… theyre probably all taken anyways… you. jackass.
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En méxico a eso le decimos Cocowash (lavado de cerebro) are you serious man??? digo yo no me meto con tu religion no hagas lo mismo con la nuestra. Dejad que los espaguettis se acerquen a mi.
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its interesting you said muhamaded, did you know that jesus is a major profit to the muslims, their the same god.
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i bet you are 1 of those people who think everything in the bible is fact. YOU ARE GULIBLE!
why have a go at darwin? he proved what he believed in.
christians havnt
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If you’re going to call Darwin a false prophet and, if I may be so bold as to infer from your letter, a harbinger of the downfall of man, I would suggest you get some facts straight. Charles Darwin was an avid christian who, in fact, attended Cambridge University to study theology and believed in a literal interpretation of the bible.
The publishing of The Origin of Species was delayed several years because what he was writing conflicted with his religious beliefs.
Charles Darwin was not the raging militant atheist that both theists and atheists try to make him out to be; he was just a man who put the well-being of the public (Because Knowledge is Power!) over his own beliefs.
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“I will not be swayed because i have met God”
Bill Maher would like to have a chat with you.
“I have personally seen the great power God commands.”
And we have all witnessed what the FSM has done for us, his physical embodiment has nourished our weary bodies time and time again. What you probably saw as “God’s power” was most likely a strong gust of wind or a strong reaction involving Nitrogen (A.K.A. Lightning).
“I will never be convinced by words because words are not as powerful as actions.”
So, sending an e-mail which contains words, would that fall under the “action” or “words” category?
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The Bible mentions Darwin, Muhammad and Bobby?
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Hello. Great job. I did not expect this on a Wednesday. This is a great story. Thanks!
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If Darwin was the antichrist, humanity is in toruble, because he sure is a lot smarter that you.
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Actually it means “of anointed”
But… nice try?
: )
Christ isn’t a name, retard.
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I would like to point out that as my name is Christian too, and I am a Pastafarian, this does not prove anything. Perhaps Jesus merely wants us to respect his father the FSM and to love our fellow humans. But we can never really know Jesus’ intentions; after all, He did not choose you as his spokesman. We can only speculate, and in my opinion the ID-FSM theory is much more likely than the Christian theory.
R’amen.
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Hahaha, he does not understand and FSM ways.
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Jewish Zombie wants YOU! To eat his flesh and drink his blood.
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“but unless you become as powerful as Holy Yahweh overnight, and then share a portion of that power with me so that i may never die, i will not be fooled”
So you are saying that if we grant you power and make you immortal you will abandon your god? You pretty much fucked yourself in the eyes of every monotheistic religion, save satanism.
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anybody here to reply
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what a douche. dumbass religious bigot, muhammeds a false prophet? how is jesus superior to muhammed or hell even the flying spaghetti monster Himself. and fyi lord doesnt require caps lock
RAmen
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i love how a bajillion christians come in here, see this, and assume its an actual religion! I mean, how many stupid pious rednecks have internet? Its plain that this is a mockery of modern religion, and, aside from being funny, they should appreciate the criticism it offers. They should realize that the critque keeps them sharp, makes them think. But, as im sad to say, my comrads would rather throw a book, that was censored, ripped apart, and torn a new asshole 2000 years ago, at the atheists and the darwinists and teh pastafarians, instead of taking the joke.
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