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Obama *not* raised Christian

Published October 23rd, 2008 by Bobby Henderson

*** Breaking ***

obamapirate1.jpg
Presidential candidate Barack Obama as a child.

This photo just surfaced, showing presidential candidate Barack Obama dressed as a pirate when he was a child. I think it is clear, now, that he was not raised Christian as his camp has claimed. The evidence suggests he was raised not as a Christian, or Muslim – as some have said – but as a Pastafarian.

This begs the question: Is Mr. Obama still a Pastafarian?

Please discuss.



109 Responses to “Obama *not* raised Christian”

  1. Tommy G. says:

    Thanks for the nice read. Going to tweet it.

  2. Delinda Lamantia says:

    On a different note… I heard on the radio the other day that Obama has kicked his smoking habit. I think that send a positive message to our country’s kids.

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  4. 3 x 5 american flags says:

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    • Zara says:

      Barack Obama is wrong, and so is Mark Noll. Theologically, it doesn't metatr that there is no "chosen nation", because Christ died so that He might have ALL authority, that the knees in every nation and government might bow. Second, and because of that, it doesn't metatr what the Constitution or Declaration of Independence intended. Thomas Jefferson did not rise from the dead. John Adams was not declared to be the Son of God with power. Men cannot legislate Jesus' authority away.Of course that doesn't mean that we are a faithful Christian nation. We are under God's judgment, as some of things Wickle listed show. But the first and primary reason for the judgment is our leaders pretending like they don't have to acknowledge the King of Kings and Lord of Lords.

      • Keith says:

        So Jesus wants everyone to bow down before him, eh? You can get down on your knees any time you want to Zara but don’t expect me to wear mine out pandering to an imaginary egotist. You’ve wasted your time here because everything you said has been said before by fever brained fundamentalists. (Come to think of it, I’ve probably wasted my time replying to someone who is deaf to reason).

      • TheFewTheProudTheMarinara says:

        “Christ died so that He might have ALL authority”. This phrase you parrot makes no sense. If you want real authority, LIVE and preach. Not to just a handful of desert dwellers, but to everyone. Two thousand years later only 30% of the world believes in him, and the percentage is shrinking. As Woody Allen said, “If it turns out that there is a God, I don’t think that he’s evil. But the worst that you can say about him is that basically he’s an underachiever”.

        If your god has such an ego that his first 3 commandments are all about him – that the greatest sin is to not kiss his omnipotent posterior – you’d have a hard time shutting him up. You wouldn’t have to be pretending you know he exists, or what he wants.

      • TiltedHorizon says:

        “Christ died so that He might have ALL authority”

        Christ died? I thought he came back from the dead? If one has the power to willfully return from the dead then is death still a sacrifice? If the ability to return from the dead is the litmus of worship then why don’t we worship Chris Angel? (he comes back from the dead about once a week) Or Velma Thomas, a 59 year old woman in the UK who came back to life after 17 hours being dead? Or Elvis, since I cannot go a week without some eyewitness seeing him at an open buffet somewhere?

      • TheFewTheProudTheMarinara says:

        Yeah – how does Christ have to die to get “authority”? Seems his old man/himself/his old man isn’t going to retire anytime soon.

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  7. Olio says:

    That’s sad. ..got wind of a rumor he wasn’t raised as a Vulcan, either ..that’s really going to harm any candidate in the polls.

  8. Zuri says:

    Alright, I’m usually not one to cut down, but I’ve seen enough of this.

    1. I have two words for you: Photo Shop. I could fake a picture better than that and I’m 12. Did you really draw the mustache in? The most gullible fool in the world could figure it out. The people on this site are playing along for laughs. Guys, don’t be afraid to correct the plainly evident. You’re brave enough chopping down a 10 year old Christian’s arguments (see “most f**king pathetic excuse for a religion”, 12/25/2010), don’t hesitate to chop down a fake picture made to prove a pointless point.

    2. Even if it was real, I still see holes in your plan. First, did Pastafarianism even exist back then? I thought this religion was only 7 years old. That picture was taken some 40 years ago. Second, someone can dress up as a pirate and not be a Pastafarian. My brother dressed up as a pirate a few years back, yet he’s not, in any way, shape or form, affiliated with noodly religions.

    3. The hypocrisy here is amazing. Hint: Constant sarcasm is great for annoying people, but it’s not great for proving anything.

    4. I bet you regret voting for him now. Geez, if I ran for President and a picture surfaced of me dressed like a pirate, would you vote for me too?

    5. Don’t you have anything better to do?

    Enough. Is. Enough.

    -Zuri

    • AwwwStruck says:

      Perhaps this is a good time to review my comments made in 2008:

      AwwwHell, Boydman, you want proof? Surely you realize that political rhetoric on both sides of the aisle is mainly innuendo, soundbites, and bullshit.

      Just so you know where I’m coming from, here’s my evaluation of the candidates:

      McCain: He’s too damned old to become president and he panders shamelessly to the religious right and ultraconservatives.

      Palin: She IS the religious right. If she could have her way Intelligent Design or Creationism would be taught in every school, and the Ten Commandments would be tatooed on every newborn’s arm. She lacks even minimal experience to become president if McCain croaks. She and McCain would attempt to appoint conservative Supreme Court Justices who might try to overturn Roe vs Wade.

      Obama: Like Palin, Obama lacks any real experience that qualifies him to be president. He panders to the “progressive intelligentsia” who think controlling the masses through legislation is the proper job for the elite. He is an excellent bullshitter…uh…excuse me orator. His “plans” for change have been very changeable.

      Biden: he has a big mouth and frequently inserts his foot in it. During the primary debates, Biden said that (choke, choke) Obama lacks the expertise to be president.

      Oh, while I’m at it, understand that I think George W. Bush’s presidency stunk.

      There are many other deficiencies in the candidates, but let’s stop there.

      You suggested that I might influence the election. I wouldn’t know which crappy slate, Republican or Democrat, to elect if I had the power to do so.

      I don’t think this site should be a place to promote or destroy political candidates, but featuring a picture of cute-little-pirate-Barack that produced a string of testimonials certifying that he is the FSM’s gift to the multitude made me decide to piss on this parade of zealots. Hence, my original post Number 30.

      In Post Number 31, Q called me a bigot. If you want to see real bigotry, punch up Jeremiah Wright on You Tube. Obama eventually distanced himself from Wright, but only under duress. A person who would associate with Wright for 20 years must be either a dumb ass or one who relates to Wright’s contorted paradigm.

      Political proof and truth are as rare as dinosaur turds on Noah’s Ark.

      I’m just AwwwStruck that I spent this much time responding to Obama worshippers. Now McCain lovers, if any ever look at this site, can also jump on my ass for my opinion about the Republican candidates. The losers of this election will be the citizens of this country. I think most of us would prefer a president that falls between the extremes of right and left.

      AND NOW WE ARE READY FOR THE GREAT ELECTIONS OF 2012…SAME SHIT, DIFFERENT YEAR

      Less than AwwwStruck

    • Drained and Washed Clean says:

      You are still that dense, huh? Amazing…

      PS – In case you didn’t figure it out from my awe at your denseness… We know it is fake.

      • Zuri says:

        I’m not touching this one with a ten foot pole. Mainly because I have no idea what AwwwStruck is saying….

        • AwwwStruck says:

          Then we are glad that you are not old enough to vote.

        • Drained and Washed Clean says:

          Ramen AwwwStruck. Ramen.

        • Zuri says:

          The only reason I am here to post at 11 am on a school day is because I am sick.

          I have American Girl in the next window.

          I am stuck in the current House Of Crazy I am living in for the next six and a half years.

          I do not yet know calculus, algebra, or even how to spell anticident.

          Some people wonder how I found my way onto the Internet in the first place.

          I have a doll up in my room.

          I still watch Disney Channel.

          I dream of winning the Little Miss Perfect pageant.

          I want to go to American Girl place for my next birthday.

          Recently I walked into a store by myself and tried to enter a sweepstakes of some sort. The cashier said, “You have to be 13 or older to enter.”

          I am not old enough to vote.

          To anyone wondering why I am so “naive”, that explains a lot.

          But I am not incapable of intelligence.

          -Zuri

    • puppygoogoo says:

      Zuri,

      To answer your questions,
      1. You answered this already. “The people on this site are playing along for laughs.” Correct
      2. See question 1.
      3. If you dont like it, leave. No one is forcing you to be here. The reason we use sarcasm is fronm the fact that we have had to answer the same questions, respond to the same threats, etc for too long now from the “loving christians’.
      4. No
      5. No.

      When is enough, enough?

      Puppygoogoo

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