Hello, I am a Christian

Published October 2nd, 2008 by Bobby Henderson

Hello, I am a Christian, and I would just like to know, is their any proof of FSM? If so can you please show me the proof, or explain it to me over the web please, I am curios to know. I personally believe this is just some silly religion thought up by an over active imaginative mind of someone. Who told others, and the few that believed him were hopeless in life as it was to begin looking for someone to lead them, and show them the way, so they just followed whatever he said. ( much like scientology)

-Divooneh



392 Responses to “Hello, I am a Christian”

  1. The Evolved Ape says:

    The irony here is astounding. From “I personally believe this” onwards you have described perfectly how all religions started.

  2. Steve says:

    Hello, I am a Pastafarian, and I would just like to know, is their any proof of your God? If so can you please show me the proof, or explain it to me over the web please, I am curios to know. I personally believe this is just some silly religion thought up by an over active imaginative mind of someone. Who told others, and the few that believed him were hopeless in life as it was to begin looking for someone to lead them, and show them the way, so they just followed whatever he said. ( much like scientology)

    -Steve

  3. soar says:

    Hey, this seems familiar.

  4. Ack says:

    Can anyone do anything besides just blink at this post? “Proof” from a Christian? Seriously?

  5. J.M.J. West says:

    St. Thomas Aquinas gave a series of “proofs” or “ways” to know the existence of God/FSM.

    The First Way: Argument from Motion
    1. Our senses prove that some things are in motion.
    2. Things move when potential motion becomes actual motion.
    3. Only an actual motion can convert a potential motion into an actual motion.
    4. Nothing can be at once in both actuality and potentiality in the same respect (i.e., if both actual and potential, it is actual in one respect and potential in another).
    5. Therefore nothing can move itself.
    6. Therefore each thing in motion is moved by something else.
    7. The sequence of motion cannot extend ad infinitum.
    8. Therefore it is necessary to arrive at a first mover, put in motion by no other; and this everyone understands to be the Flying Spaghetti Monster.

    The Second Way: Argument from Efficient Causes

    1. We perceive a series of efficient causes of things in the world.
    2. Nothing exists prior to itself.
    3. Therefore nothing is the efficient cause of itself.
    4. If a previous efficient cause does not exist, neither does the thing that results.
    5. Therefore if the first thing in a series does not exist, nothing in the series exists.
    6. The series of efficient causes cannot extend ad infinitum into the past, for then there would be no things existing now.
    7. Therefore it is necessary to admit a first efficient cause, to which everyone gives the name of Flying Spaghetti Monster.

    The Third Way: Argument from Possibility and Necessity (Reductio argument)

    1. We find in nature things that are possible to be and not to be, that come into being and go out of being i.e., contingent beings.
    2. Assume that every being is a contingent being.
    3. For each contingent being, there is a time it does not exist.
    4. Therefore it is impossible for these always to exist.
    5. Therefore there could have been a time when no things existed.
    6. Therefore at that time there would have been nothing to bring the currently existing contingent beings into existence.
    7. Therefore, nothing would be in existence now.
    8. We have reached an absurd result from assuming that every being is a contingent being.
    9. Therefore not every being is a contingent being.
    10. Therefore some being exists of its own necessity, and does not receive its existence from another being, but rather causes them. This all men speak of as the Flying Spaghetti Monster.

    The Fourth Way: Argument from Gradation of Being

    1. There is a gradation to be found in things: some are better or worse than others.
    2. Predications of degree require reference to the “uttermost” case (e.g., a thing is said to be hotter according as it more nearly resembles that which is hottest).
    3. The maximum in any genus is the cause of all in that genus.
    4. Therefore there must also be something which is to all beings the cause of their being, goodness, and every other perfection; and this we call The Flying Spaghetti Monster.

    The Fifth Way: Argument from Design

    1. We see that natural bodies work toward some goal, and do not do so by chance.
    2. Most natural things lack knowledge.
    3. But as an arrow reaches its target because it is directed by an archer, what lacks intelligence achieves goals by being directed by something intelligence.
    4. Therefore some intelligent being exists by whom all natural things are directed to their end; and this being we call the Flying Spaghetti Monster.

  6. Brother Rotini says:

    Uhhh… yeah.

    Exactly.

    We’ll show you ours if you show us yours.

    Ramen

    Brother Rotini
    (The screwy one)

  7. didi says:

    Divooneh, can you please show me some PROOF that ‘God’ exists and isn’t created by a fool who talked with a burning bush and walked for more then -was it 40? – years in the desert? (btw, now a days they lock you up in a very special place if you talk to a burning bush)

  8. GummiHU says:

    I’d like to point out that there is just as much a proof of FSM as tehre is of Jesus

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