Dear dumb ass folowers of FSMism,
There have been a lot of weird things that i have seen in my life before, but this tops them all. Do you really believe that there is/was such a thing as a flying spaghetti monster? Seriously, how fucking old are you? I know there’s such a thing as freedom of speech and expression, but this kinda shit should be banned. Theres is only one God and one Holy Word. Why dont you people get that? How much sense does it make to say that decreasing numbers of pirates lead to an increase in average global temperature? Is that science or some fifth grader trying to sound smart?
You are the kinds of people I dread to meet in public. If I were to ever have the displeasure of meeting your retarded ass, I would probably beat you senseless untill your stupid childish mind thought like a normal person and believed in something that sounds correct instead of just saying “Eh, lets make a new religion..and what the hell, our ‘god’ should be a clump of spaghetti. Oh, and it should have eyes and be able to fly. Lets bow down to it and see how many people follow suit!”
Damn you all to hell!! Better yet, somebody should lock you in a fucking psychiatric ward for further examination because they obviously didnt do that enough when you dumb fucks were born. I hope this web page is taken off the web as quickly as it was put up.
–Sincerly,
ANNONYMOUS
Dear dumb ass folowers of FSMism
Published by Bobby Henderson October 30th, 2008 in Hate Mail (and concerned criticism). 565 Comments
565 Responses to “Dear dumb ass folowers of FSMism”
You must have skipped church a few too many times – calling yourself a Christian and then talking to us like this makes you an embarassment to your religion and most likely family. Next time have the balls to print your name.
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This one was too funny to ignore:
I know there’s such a thing as freedom of speech and expression, but this kinda shit should be banned
So, apparently you don’t in fact know there is such a thing as freedom of speech. Why are you so threatened by His Noodliness? Does it make you wonder if you have the right Word? Is your god such pussy that he can’t take care of himself?
Theres is only one God and one Holy Word……
…I would probably beat you senseless
Hey, I’m looking through that Jesus story and I can’t seem to find the place where Jesus beat poeple up when they didn’t believe he was the son of God. Could you point out where that it, you hypocritical ChristoZombie.
You are the kinds of people I dread to meet in public…
And yet, chances are very good you have already met us, we are everywhere. Did Jesus tell you to give an ass whooping recently?
believed in something that sounds correct instead of just saying “Eh, lets make a new religion
Learn how to close quotes, and FSM DOES sound correct. instead you should be asking what is wrong with you that you don’t see it yourself. How does a Jesus Zombie sound more correct? Why can you accept the idea that a woman had a baby without having sex, the universe was created in 7 days, all the living things in the world lived on a boat for 40 days, etc etc etc, and you can’t accept that God may look like he is made out of spaghetti! Who’s being ridiculous now?
How much sense does it make to say that decreasing numbers of pirates lead to an increase in average global temperature
Hey the GodZombies, like you, think its OK to throw anthropomorphic global warming away as a simple correlation, why isnt that graph of GW and pirates just as valid then?
Damn you all to hell!!
Sounds like someone is worried we might be right! Get this: You’ve been praying to the wrong god all of your life, now you are doomed!
as quickly as it was put up.
Well considering that it has been up for years…….
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Another brilliant discourse by a deluded and self-contradictory xian. Apparently freedom of speech and expression only extends to speech and expression of approved concepts. Sounds suspiciously like ‘annonymous’ (nice spelling there, by the way) is another Nazi wannabe. Typical xian programme – yell at anyone who doesn’t believe the same as them, and if that doesn’t work, kill them. Shithead. Read your fairytale book and live your life the way it tells you before you start to consider yourself the moral equal of anyone, much less their superior. Your attempts to insult us slide by unfelt, since you obviously have no basis to insult anyone.
RAmen
ET
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There we go with all the violence again. Such peace loving people the Christians. They don’t even seem to realize that, according to their rules, every time they behave this way, they are going to their hell. But at least now I understand why they have all those ‘get out of hell’ free cards in the confessional etc… overcrowding in hell. This guy thinks we’re going to hell? Buddy, there isn’t enough room, what with all the peaceful, loving, caring, fascist Christians down there.
There’s only one god? Tell that to the Hindus. But there’s only, what, 700 million of them? Nah, they probably don’t count.
And I wonder what was said about Christianity at it’s beginning? “Eh, lets make a new religion..and what the hell, our ‘god’ should be a black carpenter. Oh, and he should be able to walk on water and rise from the dead.”
Great post tho, made me laugh out loud.
Probably a science teacher from Kansas.
RAmen, dude.
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Marks for Annonymous (assuming this is his incorrectly spelt real name)
Spelling 6/10
Note the spelling of followers, there’s, don’t, until, didn’t, sincerely.
Grammar 6/10
Names should be in title case, not uppercase, ‘kind of’ not ‘kinda’, ‘I’ should be capitalised, ‘FSMism’ is known as ‘Pastafarianism’, non use of title case for ‘Flying Spaghetti Monster’. Otherwise good for a hate mailer with reasonable sentence structure.
Ability to grasp irony 0/10
Our belief in there being such a thing as a Flying Spaghetti Monster should be easy to grasp. Shows an inability to spot irony as the graph mentioned is meant to be poor evidence
Sarcasm 2/10
Good comparison of Bobbie Henderson to a fifth grader, however, lets themself* down by failing to spot the graphs absurdity is the point (see irony)
Patriotism 0/10
Even I, a foreigner from Briton, can see there is a complete inability to grasp that the First Amendment that applies to every American, not just those who have parents who are cousins.
Christian fervour 8/10
Can grasp the concept of one God, but seems to think there is only one “Holy Word”, not a bible full. Has a good grasp of spreading the word through beating people senseless, however I cannot give marks for this as current Christian doctrine tends towards loving thy neighbour. Strong willingness to believe in things that “sound right” without relying on evidence or listening to other things. Strong belief in using psychiatric treatment to instil religious dogma!
Likeness to Charlton Heston 9/10
A good showing with a “Damn you all to hell!!” line, very reminiscent of Planet of the Apes.
Overview
Annonymous tries hard but ultimately is let down by an inability to grasp simple concepts. More worryingly is the threat to beat fellow humans senseless and use of foul language. I strongly recommend Annonymous concentrate on creating a career as a talk radio host, faith healer or sets up as a home maker with his spouse/sibling seeing as it is unlikely they can adapt to civilised society; the scope for social acceptance by non-hicks is very low. Must try harder!
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Dear folower of Christianity,
There have been a lot of weird things that i have seen in my life before, but this tops them all. Do you really believe that there is/was such a thing as an invisible zombie saviour in the sky? Seriously, how old are you? I know there’s such a thing as freedom of speech and expression, but this kinda shit should be… well, I know there’s such a thing as freedom of speech and expression.
There’s is only one God and one Noodly Word. Why dont you people get that? How much sense does it make to say that Mary gave birth to a genetically distinct child without breaking her hymen? Is that science or some fifth grader trying to sound smart?
You are the kinds of people I dread to meet in public. If I were to ever have the displeasure of meeting your retarded ass, I would probably talk to you untill your stupid childish mind thought like a normal person and believed in something that makes sound sense instead of just saying “Eh, lets follow an old religion..and what the hell, our ‘god’ should be an invisible 2,000-year-old zombie from the desert. Oh, and it should have wounds and be able to fly. Lets bow down to it and see how many people follow suit!”
Damn you to the slightly stale beer volcano!! Better yet, somebody should talk to you like they cared about you because they obviously didnt do that enough when you were born. I hope your religion is taken out of your mind as quickly as it was put in. (So it’ll take a while.)
–Sincerly,
Jorick
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When I read things like this all I can think of is why when so called “christians” are confronted with someone’s views not like their own, they have to threaten violence? I would think that in a “religion” that expresses forgiveness that forgiveness would be a big part of a “christions” responce to a negative view.
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It seems that all these hate mails are following suit, nobody really understands our religion do they? FSM is a mere reflection of religion. To poke fun at the people who believe in things just as if not more farfetched. It’s a taste of your own medicine you dickhead, how does it feel? You can’t disregard my ‘beliefs’ because that would make you a hypocrite. And no we don’t really ‘believe’ in a flying spaghetti monster you fucking moron, we just say we do so we can laugh at the people who take us seriously.
It’s hilarious for us, because we have been so tolerant of religion and religious people for ever. No the tables have turned, and you must be tolerant of us making a mockery of you.
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Not to prevent you from picking on the poor guy – but how do you conclude he/she is a Christian? All that was said was “One God” and “One Holy Word”. Based on most American belief this could indicate Television and TV Guide, which is no better or worse a belief that FSM.
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Guh. IN FSM. Not THAT FSM.
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You know, that’s quite right. Why didn’t I think of all that myself? You have lifted the scales from my eyes. Never mind, I’ll nip off to the church and have a quick grovel in front of Jebus. That’ll fix everything.
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It makes about as much sense as Christianity.
I mean, seriously. Christianity branched off from Catholicism, which branched off of Judaism with some Norse mythology mixed in. At least Pastafarianism is creative and unique.
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What is truely intersting is that we have never recieved one piece of hate mail from a true Christien. Only posers who need to be part of a group in order to satisfy there need to believe there superior to everyone else. However, since they can’t even fallow that groups rules and thus are considered hypcrits within there own group. They must try to move into others to satisfy themselves.
Funny how there only way of survival is to try to destroy what feeds there ego. I think this usually leads to extinction.
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“If I were to ever have the displeasure of meeting your retarded ass, I would probably beat you senseless untill your stupid childish mind thought like a normal person”
Is that you became a normal person?
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“Better yet, somebody should lock you in a fucking psychiatric ward for further examination because they obviously didnt do that enough when you dumb fucks were born.”
Oh My Noodle – your “normal” types put newborns in psych wards? And you call us dumb.
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I almost forgot–we should be deciding what to believe in based on what “sounds correct.” I suppose that makes you a “flat-earther.” I guess there must be little people playing music in my radio–that sounds right too.
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“Better yet, somebody should lock you in a fucking psychiatric ward for further examination because they obviously didnt do that enough when you dumb fucks were born.”
Is it really common practice to lock people up in a psychiatric ward when they’re born?
“untill your stupid childish mind thought like a normal person and believed in something that sounds correct”
I know it’s unbelievable. I was a skeptic, too, but once I learned that the FSM is there CHANGING ALL OUR DATA while we collect it, I realized the FSM was separate from science… and that our inability to prove His existence PROVES His existence.
I don’t know about you, Annonymous, but I want to believe something that doesn’t just *sound* correct, but actually *is* correct. May you be touched by His noodly appendage.
RAmen
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Oh, this is one of my favorites! Annon delivers much hilarity here!
“I know there’s such a thing as freedom of speech and expression, but this kinda shit should be banned.”
Wait, wait…what…? Oh I ge-…no I don’t. Hmmm…so there is freedom of speech, but only for people I agree with ! Ah, I understand!
Anyway, Techskeptic did an EXCELLENT job, I must say, of dissecting this piece. Bravo, and hats off to you, sir!
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My friends,
To post #1, he/she never called him/herself a christian. They said “there is only one god and one holy word”. I assumed this person was talking about the twenty-third “tirthankaras”, Mahavira, of the ultra-peaceful Jain religion. Or, most likely this person suffers from “multiple personality disorder” and one of their personalities believes in the “One True God”, the FSM. And another personality is a fundamentalist crack-pot. I submit to you all that this is the most logical assumption we can derive from a letter such as this.
P.S.
To mr./ms. Annonumous,
Please don’t be so ignorant
as to threaten people you don’t
know with violence. I may be a
little old, but I am extremely
phyically fit and have been involved
in some sort of martial art for the
last THIRTY years. Not to mention, FSM
help you, if you ever run into a Shaolin
monk and threaten to “beat him senseless”
like what must have obviously happened to you.
Peace
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Oh and christianity sounds correct? What a fucking tool.
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Oh deary me. Another Chrissie for the loony bin, eh?
You’re not representing your religion very well here.
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Is that really how you feel about other cultures? You want to beat the crap out of them? That’s a healthy way to deal with your emotions…
Anyway, I don’t think this guy/gal means it. It’s obvious he/she is being sarcastic. In the first line we were called flowers! (I think)
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This individual does not represent the interests and/or beliefs of Anonymous.
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To answer the first question asked: no. Since you obviously don’t know what it means, go here please: http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/satire
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ET and Techskeptic pretty much covered it all.
On top of that: all these threats will give people a wrong image of Christians like you.
I hope you will be touched by His Noodly Appendage some day.
Rámen
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As a karate master (yes, really – 35 years experience) I invite you to beat my ass. And in return, I will smack some sense into you, so you won’t take everything so literally – ass.
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We should “believe in something that sounds correct”? Erm… sounds correct to whom? To you? Because to me pasta sounds much more real and correct (and don’t forget nourishing and wholesome!) than a Jewish zombie who was his own father and whose blood the faithful should drink. You know, not only does the zombie-stuff not sound “correct”, it sounds simply gross. No wonder you want to beat people senseless Annonymous, one just HAS to be senseless to believe that!
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“There have been a lot of weird things that i have seen in my life before, but this tops them all.” Have you ever seen that business where they elect a new pope, and all the world’s media show this same shaky telephoto shot of smoke coming out of a chimney on top of the vatican? Now THAT’s weird!
.
“If I were to ever have the displeasure of meeting your retarded ass, I would probably beat you senseless untill your stupid childish mind thought like a normal person and believed in something that sounds correct” I am glad that the people you regard as ‘normal’ are in fact **retards** (lovely word, that) who have been beaten badly enough to acquire further brain injury.
.
It just goes to support the hypothesis that there is a negative correlation between intelligence and religiosity (Howells, 1927; Carlsojn, 1933; Pothyress, 1975; Wiebe & Fleck, 1980; need I go on?).
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the FSM is over his head…
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These are the kind of things I love to read. I honestly can’t find any better form of hypocrisy than I find here.
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Dear ANNONYMOUS
Ooh you’re so hard I’m literally trembling as I type.
You sad eleven year old
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Obviously this guy has never heard of satire. It’s amazing how upset he is over the beliefs of others, and willing to use violence because they differ from his. Very “Christian” of you buddy.
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My aren’t we cheerful?
You’re right. Your views are 100% correct all the time. it doesn’t matter that other faiths have been around longer then yours, or that other people have opinions. Our explanation for the progressive heating of this earth makes less sense than ignoring the issue of global warming or using it as a sign of the second coming. Jesus, throw me down to hell as fast as possible!
RAmen from the Asylum,
Indiearghhhh
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it really is embarassing to hear a fellow “christian” use that kind of language. speaking to “the lost” in that kind of tone makes them hate us even more. shame on you and may God help you.
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[b]“Eh, lets make a new religion..and what the hell, our ‘god’ should be a clump of spaghetti. Oh, and it should have eyes and be able to fly. Lets bow down to it and see how many people follow suit!”[/b]
I find that very hypocritical
So let me just rephrase that
“Eh, lets make a new religion..and what the hell, our ‘savior’ should be a Jewish zombie. Oh, and it should have special powers and be able to turn water into wine. Lets write a book about it and see how many people follow suit!”
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Hasn’t people got rights to belive in a relegion stop being so fuckin ridicoulous and let people have their imagination
I like this religion because it omaginative and hasn’t got thoses sterotypical dieties
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Ahoy! ANNONYMOUS,
No fresh beer volcano for you and no strippers.
RAmen
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This is a literate fucktard. Bet he’s actually Karl Rove or some other Xtian reactionary “intellectual” like Bill Bennett who lectured everyone on morality so continuously that the Bush I administation seriously consider creating the post of “Morality Czar” specially for him until it was revealed he was a chain smoker and compulsive gambler who blew 8 million dollars in book royalties at the crap tables while high priced hookers blew on his hand to give him a hot roll.
This is part of the problem, no one espousing this snake oil belief system that has been adopted by the white trash xtain hillbilly 25% hard core Bush supporters understands that the welter of shit they have bought into is as demented and nonsensical as anything either Bobby or Lewis Carrol or anyone else has ever created. No more empirical evidence exists for it, many of the “believers” do no literally believe in it, but demand others do because they see it as a useful form of social control, and even the ones that believe wind up snorting coke off a hooker’s ass first time the true believer(s) give them an extra $10,000 in disposable income. Hard to fight human nature, isn’t it?
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Take out all the references to the FSM, and insert anything about Islam, and it sounds like something I heard outside a McCain/Palin rally…
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I’m definitely on to something here; contains ‘retarded’, ‘dumb’ and ’shit’: does not contain reasoned argument. Are the two mutually exclusive? Discuss.
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“I know there’s such a thing as freedom of speech and expression, but this kinda shit should be banned.”
Rarely is irony this succinct. Nice job.
“If I were to ever have the displeasure of meeting your retarded ass, I would probably beat you senseless untill your stupid childish mind thought like a normal person and believed in something that sounds correct”
No doubt the recommended recourse of followers of the “One God One Holy Word” sect you speak of.
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Grand. Yet another one of those “OMG you guys are total idiots and I have the right to apply science to you while forbidding its retroactive application to my own religion” types. Have fun with your biased analysis, because if you can do it, we can definitely do it as well.
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Some of these hate letters make me wonder whether people new to the website ever get past the front page…
-Torteh
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“Theres is only one God and one Holy Word.”
Lack of an apostrophe aside – I’m pretty sure the much larger number of Muslims, Hindus, Buddhists, and other non-Christian religious folks would disagree with your intrepretation there. Are you going to ban them from freedom of expression, too?
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My only regret is that the original writer will never-ever develop the capacity to appreciate the delicious hypocracy.
It truly is divine.
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Dear Sincerly (sic) Annonymous (sic):
Too sad that freedom of speech is only for you, not for any others. Too sad that beating people senseless is a virtuous thing for you. Too sad that your comment includes many words and attitudes that many gods/religions would consider irreligious or blasphemous(at mimimum).
Too sad you can’t spell.
Oh … and if you are a christian (from your comments you could well be from another faith, but your use of “holy word” and your use of “hell” as a punishment leads me to the assumption that your do indeed profess to believe in a christian god), too sad that you simply damn non-believers to hell, since the christian faith wants you to forgive trespasses … or is that too “old” a value for you?
As a “folower” (sic), may I suggest that you check the definitions of “spoof”", and “satire”? And, if you wish intelligent people to consider your “thoughts” seriously that use spellcheck and grammarcheck (including punctuation usage) before you post? And finally, most importantly, that you develop a sense of humo(u)r?
Have a good day!
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i agree 110% FSM is stupid. i cant believe i ever fell for this one. Talking snakes is so much more real. i hate you people and im gonna beat your ass in public if i ever see you. He’s right, screw your stupid website. I cant believe my children are going to have to listen to people like you one day. I remember growing up that we got our values from the good people of the 700 club and jerry falwell. it was called the moral majority for a reason! So all you self-righteous people talking shit about ANNONYMOUS not having good morals need to shut the hell up! Yur rurnin’ merica!
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He was doing so well until he tried to spell his name.
“There’s is only one God and one Holy Word. Why dont you people get that?”
This is precisely what concerns me about you people. What about all the other religions out there? Are the followers of, say, Hinduism, for example, “dumb asses” that should be “damned to hell” because they don’t believe in your God?
“If I were to ever have the displeasure of meeting your retarded ass, I would probably beat you senseless [...]”
I think you’ll find that, if you carefully examine your bible, this action would make you most unpopular in the eyes of Jesus Christ.
Forgiveness and peace, brother.
Ramen,
Chris
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I take back the first thing I said about him doing so well until he tried to spell his name. “Annonymous” was FAR from the first spelling mistake in that dribble.
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Why can they NEVER spell. LMAO.
It’s OK, we love you even though you worship a false god.
RAmen.
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“Damn you all to hell!!”
You should acknowledge your quotations – ‘Planet of the Apes’ (1968).
Which makes me wonder – did FSM make that planet as well, or is that blaspheming the Lawgiver?
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Yes, you would have to beat us senseless to get us to believe in your god. Brain damage and christianity? Hmmm. Good correlation there!
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I am a dumbass, and you believe in Freedom of Speech but this should be banned.
Ummmm… One of us is a dumbass. And it isn’t me.
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Wow, another kind, loving, and charitable christian…. Do you have any more proof of your religion than FSM followers have of theirs? You fanatics are the real problem, killing anyone who doesn’t agree with your tryannical religion. Do you talk like that to your zombie/god in church? Do these people really not get the point of satire? I get so many laughs from the hate-mail, but I am also sad that people are so ignorant. This guy is probably some fat red-neck that thinks Middle Eastern people hate the west because we dress differently. My money is on his sister telling him that while he was humping her to make more super smart trailer trash.
RAmen Mateys
kris
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…you spelled “anonymous” wrong.
…fail.
:]
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Dear Ann:
It was the midgit that made you a hostile. I understand. It must be very hard to accept Our Noodly Lord made a midgit along with a mountain and a tree. It must also be equally annoying that His Noodliness is amazingly more tasty than your god.
I don’t understand that while you call yourself a Christian, you exhibit such violent behavior. I was under the impression that if something insults you or hurts you, turn the other cheek is a vital Jesus-dispensed dogma. Oh yes, so much dogma spat from this man I’m surprised his head didn’t flip backward and a pez appeared through his neck with some other words of wisdom on it. The words of wisdom like the two most important commandments were to love your neighbor as yourself and love the lord your god. You aren’t doing this. Epic fail. Did you forget or did you miss bible school that day?
We dread meeting you in public too. You’re probably the type of Christian who hands out tracts and knocks on people’s doors, peddling your religion like it’s snake oil out of a carpet bag. Oh wait. It is. Never mind.
I hope that you soon come to the realization that Our Noodly Lord loves you even if you hate him.
Sincerely,
Meisha
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So you don’t like the way our God looks. At least we know how our God looks.You can’t say the same since the first picture of your God was done a few hundred years after anyone saw him/her/it.
Nice to see you’re living up to the typical xian rule of violence. You must really love the brutal history what with all the torture and killing.
That seems to be right up your alley. Who needs compassion when we can hurt people in the name of our God. I guess the 10 commandments really aren’t carved in stone.
I’ve also seen lots of weird things in my life. One of them is the number of people who believe fairy tales that contradict science when it is staring them in the face. Never did get that. Another thing is the number of people who say they follow a peaceful religion but will commit horrible violence if you disagree with them. Never got that either.
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First of all, if you’re going to call someone a dumbass, try using spell check and recognize that dumbass is one word and followers has two l’s.
As for the content…so what if we do believe it? The foundations of Pastafarianism have just as much scientific foundation as those of most other religions. Furthermore, some people call themselves Pastafarians because they support the message. The vision was sent to the Prophet, Mr. Henderson, in order to stop idiots like you from allowing creationism to be taught in schools alongside evolution. You want to criticize us for standing behind one of the institutions that most creatively brings our feelings on the issue of the evolution/creationism controversy? Pointing out scientific fact didn’t work for creationists to keep them from whining, so we started pointing out how flawed their version of “science” truly is. I’m sorry if you’re one of approximately 50% of Americans that still cannot except evolution as a probable cause of our origin. I don’t know if it’s because you just aren’t willing to listen to the proof, or if you’re part of the group that isn’t educated well enough to understand it. My assumption, based on the heading of your letter, and, more importantly, on your obviously flawed view of your own personal religion, which hasn’t actively condemned other people for their beliefs in many years, is that you are the latter of the two.
Next time, look at the whole picture, not just a small portion, find some way to actually back up the things you say, and, for Noodle’s sake, please check your spelling and grammar.
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man fuck all yall dumbass bitches, yall gunna pay for yalls shit one day, and when ur sent to hell i hope satan fuckin rapes yalls ass’ like yalls parents prolly did. thats y yall r so fuckin retarded. yall r all the product of a brother and sister fucking!!!!!!!!!
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I’m calling again for the no-hate-mail feed. It’s just that after the first thirty or so, all of them sound so alike… it’s boring.
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This letter is adorable… an example of a guy who would rather threaten and spout, um, garbage than actually state any logical proofs or counter-arguments to the religion. Notice that most sentences are formed out of a variety of “How do you believe in…”! Yeah, and your frantic spelling hints at psychosis… get some rest, man, you’re worrying me. I don’t believe in this religion, either, but I consider it perfectly legitimate and respect the validity of His Noodliness.
Um, RAmen,
Jameson
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*Sigh* It’s a sad commentary on our times that this sort of mindless, undirected anger is actually pretty common, these days.
I did like the way he spelled ‘ANNONYMOUS’, though.
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“I would probably beat you senseless untill your stupid childish mind thought like a normal person and believed in something that sounds correct”
Yeah, someone WOULD have to beat us senseless before we would believe that a virgin gave birth, that the Earth is a little over 6,000 years old, that humans and dinosaurs co-existed, that the richest city per capita in the world (The Vatican) gives a crap about the poor, or that someone like yourself could have been even vaguely modeled on an omniscient being.
If your God loved you, he would flog you with the Oxford English Dictionary (and not the concise version, either), a stack of grammar handbooks, and the Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster.
Really, you christians are just jealous. Deep down, beyond your extremely convincing mental institution escapee personas, you know that our God has bigger and meatier balls than yours. RAmen.
-Sincerly,
Teh Bree Brano
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well, at least retarded was spelled correctly
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I find it allways funny how everyone refers to his God as the one and only.
So many religions so many one and only’s
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I have been reading this site for the first time over the last day and I must say this letter is the icing on the cake. Even if some one is mocking what you believe in, at least take the time to respond intelligently…other wise his great noodly appendage will reach out and remove your spell check….
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“followers” is a hard word to spell. Keep trying.
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I haven’t been to this site for awhile but can see that hypocrisy still lives and breaths and spouts mindless hatred. Will the xtians ever see how absolutely uneducated and silly they sound?
Doesn’t it make you want to rush out and convert to the warm and fuzzy religion whose followers believe that they are justified in “beating you senseless for your stupid childish ideas”?
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Who is this chris person? Who is he telling to shut up? Who does he think are dumb motherfuckers? Why can’t he spell? What is a *yalls*? I get the feeling that somewhere a trailer park is lonely for its favorite long-term unemployed resident.
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“If I were to ever have the displeasure of meeting your retarded ass, I would probably beat you senseless untill your stupid childish mind thought like a normal person and believed in something that sounds correct” Is that from one of the Gospels? Could you note which verse? Was that something Paul said to the Romans? My memories foggy on the teachings of your God.
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All I can say is thank the FSM for the framers of the Constitution or we’d all be at the mercy of goons like this.
To ANNONYMOUS (sic) – thanks for taking time off to review the site and send us your little letter, but you should probably go back to jerking off over your pictures of Palin. You won’t have much more time after she begins to fade into obscurity on November 5th.
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ANNONYMOUS,
I really enjoyed reading your hate mail. There just isn’t enough hate in this world and I would like to personally thank you for providing all of the readers of this forum with a little bit more. I also would like to thank you for providing it in the name of the Cristian religion. There just hasn’t been enough hate provided to the world by them and I applaud your efforts to bring them up to a standard. I personally would enjoy being beaten senseless by you (in public no less) so that you can spread the word of tolerance and forgiveness that your religion preaches to all those who would stand to witness it. While I understand that you would dread having to do that, I really think that it is an important thing for you to do so that everyone will be able to see the truth of your religion. I would like to finish with a heartfelt apology to you. I know that I probably spelled far too many words correctly in this letter for you to be able to properly understand what I mean, so I can only hope that you can get someone who has completed the eighth grade to read this for you.
Yours in hate,
ralphie
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“And no we don’t really ‘believe’ in a flying spaghetti monster you fucking moron, we just say we do so we can laugh at the people who take us seriously.”
Ed, I don’t know who you mean by “we” but count me out! I have been caressed by His/She/Its Noodles and I know He’s for real.
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Dear Annon,
You talk to us as you are the all mighty hand, you are judging those who believe in something else, and if i am incorrect christianity teaches that you shall not judge but you still do so by that you are doing thats in direct violation of what “your” god wants you to do. Xian’s believe them selves to always be right, and there is nothing else out there but what they believe and try to sell to everyone else, but christianity wasn’t the first religion born to man, so do you really think your religion is the true and its the only path that we should try and live our lives by??? what about Judaisum, Islam, Buddium, FSM etc, are we all incorrect in leading these different paths????
You need to step back and realize that its not the only belief and i think Thomas Jefferson said it best when he stated “Ignorance is preferable to error, and he is less remote from the truth who believes nothing than he who believes what is wrong”
So take care Annon and remember that FSM does care for you regardless if you care for him or not.
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Wow. Just, wow.
“I know there’s such a thing as freedom of speech and expression, but this kinda shit should be banned. ”
If you’ve ever read the Declaration of Independence of the United States of America you would know that GOD gives us the inalienable right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. If this makes us happy, we’re allowed, ACCORDING TO GOD, to do so.
You’re just the kind of person who would make a constitutional amendment to take away people’s rights.
See: Prop 8 (California)
and that, disgusts me.
RAmen,
Chantal
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Do these people ever get past the front page of the website?
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Obvious troll is incredibly obvious.
I mean really anon? Actually sending your letters with the NAME anon, even if it is mipselled?
Come on guys. Let me give you more credit than that.
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I was completely for insulting this guy, but now I have to say something to all of the FSMites. Don’t have some idiotic assumption that anyone who use “yalls” (even if it’s spelled wrong) has to be stupid. Furthermore, I was going to sign up, but not if someone has to bring in politics. As much as FSM is, I’m now deciding not to sign up. I hate it when people assume all Southerners are morons. And I hate anyone who uses any political party as a litmus test of intelligence.
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Despite this is a gratuitous attack on our personal freedoms, and a demand to control our lives at your will, I had a bit of hope while reading your comment : how do we belive that? I return the question, and the FSM blow me up if you can provide a good answer in the reasonable delay of your entire life.
FSM still bless you. And peace, as Jesus said, brother.
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What I find amusing is that he doesn’t have the balls to give any contact info.
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I’d rather spend eternity in Hell with all the non believers than 2 minutes in heaven with the likes of Anno and Chris.
That is, it won’t happen since I’ll be enjoying my ever-fresh beer and hot strippers while they’ll be gurgling stale beer and catching ugly diseases…
All Hail His Noodlyness!
RAmen
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Yeah people! Wise up and start believing in something that makes sense, like a 2,000 year old zombie that walked on water and cursed a fig tree to death!
Honestly…it’s just so logical!
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How DARE we not believe in some dude who married old women/little girls and who claimed to have the final revelation of God?
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ANNONYMOUS does not yet understand the concept of irony.
:)
-R
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wow…i guess people dont realize that any arguments disproving our spaghediety also disprove their own.
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What a kind and loving message of the lord. I feel like converting. Great way to reach out to us heathens
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Geez, annonymous? What’s yer problem little fella?
Only one god and one holy word, huh? Sez’ you? Are you his new mouthpiece or something? So Judaism, Islam, Taoism, Buddhism, and all other Xisms have it wrong. Its people like yourself; intolerant, ignorant, self righteous pricks like you, who make the world unpleasant.
Its strange that your own words condemn your religion:
“Let’s bow down to it and see how many people will follow suit!”.
“All too easy…” Darth Vader.
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one god?
are you sure?
what about yahweh, allah, vishnu?
what about odin, ra, zeus?
do these names have any meaning to you?
how can all these people be wrong yet be so convinced they are praying to their one true god?
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Yarr me matey,
I simply love how this Mr. Anno insults us… he truly is an example of Christianity, If we were created in the christian god’s image, this immature, self-righteous, discriminatory, prick is the perfect image.
[Quote="I know there’s such a thing as freedom of speech and expression, but this kinda shit should be banned. Theres is only one God and one Holy Word. Why dont you people get that"[Unquote]
You sir are an imbecile. “Why don’t we get that?” Well for me anyways i used to be a very evangelistic christian… then i started seeing the shit going on around me. I could just as easily say “Why don’t you get that fanatic religious…ness is bad” or “Why can’t you see that tomatoes taste good”
You assume everyone has the same experience and life knowledge as you and should have the same thought processing as you. You however are in that case deluded.
[Quote]How much sense does it make to say that decreasing numbers of pirates lead to an increase in average global temperature? Is that science or some fifth grader trying to sound smart?[Unquote]
If you actually were smart enough to know anything about or pay attention to what you criticize, you would realize that Bobby Henderson is about 25 (not sure if that’s now or when he wrote the letter I apologize for my ignorance].
[Quote]Damn you all to hell!! Better yet, somebody should lock you in a fucking psychiatric ward for further examination because they obviously didnt do that enough when you dumb fucks were born. I hope this web page is taken off the web as quickly as it was put up.[Unquote]
Not only do you break your own Commandments but you also break your own religion and any evidence that you actually have a reasonable debate.
You condemn us to hell, i will now quote your messiah “He who is without sin throw the first stone”
And what is the second part supposed to mean? First off there are plenty of pieces in your religion which are just as bizarre, so bizarre beliefs are not merit for being put in a psych ward. Talking burning bush anybody? Not trying to insult your religion, but like Pastafareanism, Christianity has some pretty bizarre beliefs. If you choose to believe in them that does not make you psychopathic.
Next
[Quote]because they obviously didnt do that enough when you dumb fucks were born.[Unquote]
I’m not sure what you are trying to say… we were not put in psych wards enough when we were newborns?
[Quote]I hope this web page is taken off the web as quickly as it was put up.[Unquote]
One it was put up over a year or two ago.
Two you completely contradict yourself
[Quote]I know there’s such a thing as freedom of speech and expression[Unquote]
If you know this… then you should know it isn’t ethically nor legally possible for this site to be abolished…
Your friend,
THE NIGETRON
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“Do you really believe that there is/was such a thing as a flying spaghetti monster? Seriously, how fucking old are you?”
Do you really believe that there is/was such a thing as God? XD
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you mock the LORD! what a fool you are, God is All Powerful, your faithless slander will only lead you to end of all the enemies of the One True God. Who among the gods is like you o LORD, Who has worked such great wonders among His people, zeus, jupiter, baal, amen ra, odin, all have fallen, they are not worshiped anymore, The LORD God has vanquished every attack on the faithful and you think that this, a mere collection of rubbish reaped from your contempt of Christ, Will prevail. God is the vanquisher of the false gods, He has lain low the gods of all peoples, wherefore should this fsm succeed! Christ rule over Gods people forever AMEN!!!
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Pastafarians,
Countering “Annonymous’s” post with reamarks about how bad his/her spelling and grammar is and then automatically asuming “Annonymous” is a christian (which he/she most likely is anyway), doesn’t make you much different to to all the angry christians that post silly agressive hate-mail. Think about it before you reply to their hate-mail. Remember that you are better than them.
“ANNONYMOUS”,
You’re a stupid moronic christian who couldn’t spell if you’re life depended on it.
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@ Annonymous. Original name. Did you make that up? Just like your religion based on old unproven stories and superstitions? Nice to see you’re keeping up with the tradition of turn the other cheek and be a completely violent asshole. So tell me. How will you be spending the day after the rapture? You know? You certainly won’t make it into your heaven with an attitude like that.
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I have good reason to believe Anonymous is a confused cross dresser.
Poor soul.
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Yar, t’loss of Johnny’s new irony meter indicates t’is be fake.
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It’s like a game where even if we win, they win.
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Dear dumb ass folowers of Christianity,
There have been a lot of weird things that i have seen in my life before, but this tops them all. Do you really believe that there is/was such a thing as a 2,000 year old zombie god? Seriously, how fucking old are you? I know there’s such a thing as freedom of speech and expression, but this kinda shit should be banned. Theres is only one God and he is the FSM. Why dont you people get that? How much sense does it make to say that decreasing numbers of believers lead to an increase in average global temperature? Is that science or some fifth grader trying to sound smart?
You are the kinds of people I dread to meet in public. If I were to ever have the displeasure of meeting your retarded ass, I would probably beat you senseless untill your stupid childish mind thought like a normal person and believed in something that sounds correct instead of just saying “Eh, lets make a new religion..and what the hell, our ‘god’ should be a old bearded dude. Oh, and it should have eyes and be able to smite people. Lets bow down to it and see how many people follow suit!”
Damn you all to hell!! Better yet, somebody should lock you in a fucking psychiatric ward for further examination because they obviously didnt do that enough when you dumb fucks were born. I hope this web page is taken off the web as quickly as it was put up.
–Sincerly,
Bobert
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@Christian
Wow, old testament much, your god mocks itself, ever actually read the bible and seen the backward shit in it. if your god does exist then i refuse to serve such a backstabbing, asshole
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O + W
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@Christian
To believe everything in the bible makes you a sheep, follow that path if you may, chances are its not going to take you to a magical place as it promises. You think that Lord God is athe end all but there are still many other religions out there that have been going on longer than yours, so honestly how do you know you are right??? just because your bible said so (who was writen by man mind you) and because your priests and preachers say it is so (again a sheep baaaaaaah). Open your mind to new things, you will relize that no one has it right, fsm is just introducing new concepts into our minds instead of old ones from a completely norrowminded time frame that the bible had come out of.
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Christian (#91) – God has vanquished all gods has he? He hasn’t beat the FSM, or the Buddhists or the Hindus. For that matter, hasn’t he’s let his own church go a bit? How many contradictory denominations are there? Assuming only one Christian church is the right one, then he doesn’t have many true believers.
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at Christian.
Christianity – The belief that a cosmic Jewish Zombie who was his own father can make you live forever if you symbolically eat his flesh and telepathically tell him you accept him as your master, so he can remove an evil force from your soul that is present in humanity because a rib-woman was convinced by a talking snake to eat from a magical tree…
Yeah, makes perfect sense… I love your Bible.
In this “sacred” book of family scandals we find filth, sex orgies, cannibalism, atrocities, sex perversions, incest, bloody violence unparalleled in any other chronicle in all the literature of the world. Fortunately, not one-third of the human family has ever heard of the Christian Bible; not one-tenth of the Christians have ever read it, and no two who have read it agree as to its meaning.
THE HUMAN RACE HAS SUFFERED FOR CENTURIES AND IS STILL SUFFERING FROM THE MENTAL DISORDER KNOWN AS RELIGION, AND ATHEISM IS THE ONLY PHYSICIAN THAT WILL BE ABLE TO EFFECT A PERMANENT CURE.
Lucifer
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“You mock the LORD! what a fool you are, God is All Powerful, your
faithless slander will only lead you to end of all the enemies of the One True God. Who among the gods is like you o LORD, Who has worked such great wonders among His people, zeus, jupiter, baal, amen ra, odin, all have fallen, they are not worshiped anymore, The LORD God has vanquished every attack on the faithful and you think that this, a mere collection of rubbish reaped from your contempt of Christ, Will prevail. God is the vanquisher of the false gods, He has lain low the gods of all peoples, wherefore should this fsm succeed! Christ rule over Gods people forever AMEN!!!”
Dear Xtain: Your entire screed is just another way of saying you have a persistent meme. Nothing more.
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dear fsmist who responded to me, i do hope you do not think i am being close minded, but i do believe in the Lord God simply because i have seen the proof of His existence. If you are all indeed agnostic and not atheist, and open-minded instead of evolutionists, i implore you to read the following two things with an open mind and no bias, For if you say you defend evolution simply because you do not want to be wrong than your no better than the “christian sheep” you mention http://www.genesispark.org/genpark/ancient/ancient.htm and the bible, as to the nigetron’s question yes i have indeed read the bible and seen the general pattern as being that God rewards those you follow Him and love Him and destroys the evil people who oppose God, If you think God is wrathful, keep in mind that God only destroys EVIL and if destroying evil is evil than to destroy good is good but that is a paradox, to destroy good is evil and to destroy evil is good. God is not a hippie but he isnt a tyrant either. So i implore to forgive my fellow christians of there great anger at you for this site, its simply they (and myself) are greatly apposed to blasphemy such as this. Read what I’ve pointed out to you and then PLEASE respond to me in this forum, and be kind and don’t flame, For if you search for the truth without bias as i have you will surely find it. -your philosophically differed friend -christian
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“I know there’s such a thing as freedom of speech and expression, but this kinda shit should be banned.”
Clearly you don’t understand what freedom of speech really means.
“Theres is only one God and one Holy Word. Why dont you people get that?”
We do! It’s The Flying Spaghetti Monster. You must not have read the book.
“How much sense does it make to say that decreasing numbers of pirates lead to an increase in average global temperature? Is that science or some fifth grader trying to sound smart?”
Didn’t you see the graph?
“You are the kinds of people I dread to meet in public. If I were to ever have the displeasure of meeting your retarded ass, I would probably beat you senseless untill your stupid childish mind thought like a normal person and believed in something that sounds correct instead of just saying “Eh, lets make a new religion..and what the hell, our ‘god’ should be a clump of spaghetti. Oh, and it should have eyes and be able to fly. Lets bow down to it and see how many people follow suit!””
I guess nothing really spells education like a good old fashion beating! That’ll cure them shakes, right?
“Damn you all to hell!! Better yet, somebody should lock you in a fucking psychiatric ward for further examination because they obviously didnt do that enough when you dumb fucks were born.”
So are you saying that this is what happened to you when you were born? Because that isn’t what they normally do, you know.
“I hope this web page is taken off the web as quickly as it was put up.”
That seems to be taking it’s sweet time.
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“You are the kinds of people I dread to meet in public. If I were to ever have the displeasure of meeting your retarded ass, I would probably beat you senseless untill your stupid childish mind thought like a normal person and believed in something that sounds correct…
Damn you all to hell!! Better yet, somebody should lock you in a fucking psychiatric ward for further examination because they obviously didnt do that enough when you dumb fucks were born. I hope this web page is taken off the web as quickly as it was put up.”
WOAH!! This guy is so HARDCORE CHRISTIAN! LOVE FOR EACH OTHER, HELL YEAH! SERIOUSLY I CANNOT HANDLE THIS MUCH AFFECTION FOR THINE NEIGHBOURS AND/OR ENEMIES IN ONE GO
…In addition, “folowers”. hehehehe, folowers.
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To my American Friends :
Please do not let one of these wackos control your huge “nukelar” arsenal again….please…
Thanks
Noodly Diddly
A Canadian Pastafarian for Obama
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giggle
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Annonymous, God frowns upon your language. However, the Flying Spaghetti Monster (all hail His Noodliness) permits and is even amused by it. Though I think they both agree that the use of “retarded” as an insult is quite tasteless.
If you’re going to sin, go masturbate instead of judging everyone. It seems you need it. And eat some spaghetti. You’ll feel better when your balls are empty and your belly is fool.
Don’t forget to flush. We don’t need your little soldiers reproducing.
[Sidenote: Sperm each seem to have a tail similar to that of His Noodly Appendage. Discuss.]
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@ Christian #104
Thanks for the fascinating look at the different cultures that have depicted dragon like animals in their art from prehistory to the current day. I find it instructive that almost all are produced by cultures which did not believe in your God; evidence I would contend, that your God is less real than dragons.
I note that the only two depictions that were produced by Christian cultures are contemporaneous (and in one example explicitly linked) with a belief in witches and witchcraft. This doesn’t make the artist a very reliable witness.
Now that I’ve looked at your ‘evidence’ perhaps you would look at
http://evolution.berkeley.edu/evolibrary/search/topicbrowse2.php?topic_id=46
for some truth without a Christian bias.
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Stupid dip-shit folowers of christianity. They annoy me greatly, specifically that ‘ask an xtain’. now THAT is something that should be taken off the web.
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Let’s review:
We have a semi-literate fellow who wishes to remain anonymous (note the correct spelling, moron!), thinks anything that contradicts his religious views should be banned, and wants to either physically assault or lock up anyone he wishes. Not a very convincing argument to convert.
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“there is only one god and only one holy word”
Actually, Christianity has 10 holy words, sometimes called commandments.
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Dear ANNONYMOUS
Having read most of the replies to your rather incredible rant, there’s really little more to add.
But
I’ve come to the conclusion that today would be a very good day for you to join the ranks of the “Darwin Award” winners. You would obviously be in very good company and go out with a number One on your chest, the top of the heap.
Not hiding behind a misspelled artificial name. (At least your Jesus used his real name, or did he?)
Nigel.
B.T.W. ANNONYMOUS. How did your parents ever get a breeding license?
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@ Christian. I don’t think you are close minded at all. I think you are a perfect Idiot and brain dead.
Lucifer
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does anybody else think this is a bogus post put on by an angry angry atheist. Seems pretty obvious this person has no idea what he’s talking about. sounds like someone mocking another person by imitating them using a high pitched voice and a 5 year old vocabulary.
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By the way I think that this FSM is the most pathetic attempt at encouraging atheism that i’ve ever heard. I rather like the “We’re both atheists. You just believe in one more god than i do”. Still utterly flawed. But far more clever. I’d urge anybody supporting this failed concept to jump ship.\
PS please no posts suggesting FSM followers aint atheists.
PSS also don’t bother pointing out my grahmar/spelline mistakes, i’m well aware
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“B.T.W. ANNONYMOUS. How did your parents ever get a breeding license?”
I heard they’d done traded their’n heifern for’n!
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ok, if you can belive that jesus walked on water or turned water into wine or in god in genral, than how can you not belive in the Flying Spaghetti Monster, RAmen, I mean, can you prove he does not exist!
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{wow…i guess people dont realize that any arguments disproving our spaghediety also disprove their own.}
OOPS. Here’s one. That wich is physical cannot create all that is physical.
Here’s the clincher. The FSM must have had a creator because he is physical. (or he’s made up)
The non physical that created all physical has to be eternal because it had no begining and therefore has no end.
Order, from the iniverse to the DNA in our bodies, disproves any kind of big bang or evolution.
This requires a creator and an order keeper(or programmer).
{[This is quite simple deductive reasoning. I'm a 26 year old idiot(my friends would agree) and i can reason this stuff. What's your excuse?]}
Ex.=
I love you!
I just accidentaly dropped a golf ball on my keyboard and it typed ‘I love you! on the screen. Does anybody believe that?
ORDER AND INFORMATION
THE UNIVERSE obviously has a sustained order(even temporary) and according to recent scientific studies the earth seems to be placed in a specific location, the best, to view the rest of the universe.(see http://www.privilegedplanet.com/ or view clip at http://www.illustramedia.com/tpppreview.htm)
This would imply information being directed from someone(probably the creator) to someone(probably us).
DNA of course obviously contains very much sustained order in the way it operates. Also, DNA contains information on how to oporate. This info is coppied onto itself when it reproduces and it also contains extra info incase it is damaged and it contains more info than a complete set of encyclopedias.(there’s much more i can’t fit)
EVOLUTION OF DNA?
Forget ‘Where did the s.c. amoeba come from? Where did DNA come from? Anybody? Anybody? Anybody?
I’ll try.
There once was a part of DNA and it(for some reason) copied itself and more onformation was obtained from the informer…. aaww darn, i didn’t get very far. Maybe that’s cause it is implausible. Where’s Darwin or Dawkins when you need em.
-ORDER REQUIRES AN ORDER KEEPER OR A PROGRAMER
-INFORMATION REQUIRES AN INFORMER AND AN INTENDED RECIPIENT
Ex.=
I love you!
Is there any information in “I love you!”? If a golf ball typed it then no, these words are just squigly lines on your screen. Letters are just tokens representing ideas of the English language.
However, if I typed them to you then there is implied information in them, because i’m using them to convey my message.
How can the information in DNA come from nothing. Or how can information evolve from non-information.
Also, if you saw “I love you Shannon” in the sky during a fireworks display, you wouldn’t say ‘Oh, that’s a happy accident’. How many billions of times would the fireworks need to be set off in order for them to accidentally spell out ‘I love you Shannon’?
If there was a big bang then there had to be a pyrotechnics expert, if you will, of unimaginable and inconceivable skill.
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OTHER QUESTIONS I NEED ANSWERS TO:
Where did the space for the universe come from?
Where did matter come from?
WHERE DID TIME COME FROM?(not the concept. why is there passing of time)
WHY DO WE DIE? WHY IS THERE DEATH? WHY DON’T WE JUST LIVE?
WHAT DIRECTS OUR BRAINS?(mind? soul?)
NOW SOME SIMPLE QUESTIONS:
DO OUR SOULS CONTINUE AFTER OUR BODY DIES?
If the Bible is right and we are judged for our actions, am I a guilty criminal or an innocent, righteous, and perfect man? Condemned or acquitted?
Have I broken the moral laws of the conscience? Am I a liar, theif, hateful and lustful at heart, murderer and adulterer in my mind, user of ‘God’ and ‘Jesus’, our judge, as four letter filth words?
If God indeed is indeed a ‘good’ judge, how can he possibly acquit the guilty?
Should a good Judge condemn criminals?
If God is the creator of heaven and dwells in it, then how can anything that is not perfect and righteous enter into it?
Can you bribe the ‘Judge of the Universe’ with good deeds?
Is the payment of sin really death as the Bible says?
Did God really create a body for himself, come down from his throne and dwell in the body, live a perfectly righteous life, and give himself over to be beaten, stabbed, spat on, mocked, pinned to a cross, and killed inorder to pay the fine for the crimes that we committed?
Is God loving?
Did He have to sacrifice himself?
Can I humble myself enough to bow down, ask Him to forgive me, admit that He is my lord and of the universe, turn from my sinful nature, believe that Jesus’ sacrifice is sufficient for all my sins, and trust in His death on the cross and not my good deeds?
Or am i too proud and love life and what it has to offer too much?
IN THE END WHO IS GOING TO PAY THE FINES FOR YOUR CRIMES AGAINST GOD?
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I’m now a believer of FSM. I have faith. THanks.
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“I would probably beat you senseless untill your stupid childish mind thought like a normal person and believed in something…”
A few hits over the head is exactly what it would take to make me believe in something.
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I daresay he defeated his own arguement.
Made me laugh. The combination of obscene profanity and raving superchristianity was pure gold.
Really nothing more to say, but I would like to point out:
Beating our retarded childish asses senseless would NOT in fact help us get some sense, because, you stated yourself, it would be beating us SENSELESS.
Using the word “retarded” as an insult is both crass and offensive.
Locking people up because they don’t agree with you? Banning websites while at the same time preaching “freedom of speech”? No, sir, we DON’T get it – we DO NOT realize that Christianity is the only true path to Salvation, that YOUR RELIGION AND NO OTHERS will save Humanity! WE DO NOT GET IT, neither do the Jews, the Muslims, the Hindus, the Bhuddists, the polytheists, the Celtic Pagans, the Native Americans, the Quakers and Shakers, the Atheists, the Agnostics, the Confuscists or the Sun Worshippers! We will NEVER come to understand that of thousands of other faiths, only YOURS is the true one! WE WILL NOT!
…That’s all I have to say.
And also, Obama won.
Barack the party!
Gonna go masturbate now, ’cause it’s okay for MY faith.
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Tyler (#120)
Where did the space for the universe come from? The Universe is space you idiot.
Where did matter come from?
See above
WHERE DID TIME COME FROM?(not the concept. why is there passing of time)
See above
WHY DO WE DIE? WHY IS THERE DEATH? WHY DON’T WE JUST LIVE?
Evolution, a species stands a better chance of survival if it adapts. So, species breed creating a new generation, to facilitate this the old generation dies off so as not to compete. Bad for us as individuals, good for us a species.
WHAT DIRECTS OUR BRAINS?(mind? soul?)
Instinct and education.
IN THE END WHO IS GOING TO PAY THE FINES FOR YOUR CRIMES AGAINST GOD?
There is no god but the FSM! I guess we get off the fine.
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@tyler, post 120:
For your space-time questions, I’ll point you to Brian Green’s book “the Fabric of the Cosmos”. Not exactly light reading, but perhaps it will answer a few of your queries.
After that your questions start answering themselves, taking giant leaps of assumption. Such as “do our souls continue after our body dies” and “is god a good judge”. First things first: Is there such a thing as a soul, or a god? Although billions have searched, no has been no proof of either. Sorry.
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I agree with Anonymous. There is ONE TRUE PATH!!!
It is Roman Catholicism (Rome, membership 1.2 billion).
No wait, its Greek Orthodox (Constantinople/Istanbul, membership 100 million)
Actually, no, its the Anglican Church (London, membership 40 million).
Oops, the truth is really in America, with the Episcopalians (USA, membership 30 million).
Typo…The Methodists (USA, 25 million).
Oh, sorry, its the Southern Baptist Convention (USA, 16 million).
Well, sort of. It is an offshoot, the Pentecostal Church of Christ (USA, 5 million).
My bad, those guys are heretics. It is the First Pentecostal Church of Christ (USA, 200,000).
Darnit, still too liberal. The First Pentecostal Church of the Holy Spirit is the ONE TRUE PATH (USA, membership 2000).
Okay, sorry for the misinformation. Now I have found it. It is the Narrow Path, One Way Church of God (Jackson County, KY. Membership 4).
I thank the GOOD LORD me and my three other congregants will have everlasting life in heaven all to ourselves.
Eat it suckers!!!!!!!!
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What i love about this is the fact hes yelling at you for believing in a unsensible god – no offence to christians but you flying spagetti thing isnt much less plausuable then alot of the things they believe in
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“…how fucking old… this kinda shit … your retarded ass … Damn you all to hell … when you dumb fucks were born…”
And you want to be taken seriously? How old are YOU?
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Christians that swear are so sexy.
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wow! this one’s priceless!
oh FSM, have mercy on his pasta…
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….he’s never heard of ‘love thy neighbour’ has he?
as for how old i am….thats a very personal question isn’t it?
ha…at least i’ll never meet the likes of him….me being safe on the other side of the atlantic…
for all britains faults, at least you don’t have to put up with fanatical yokels!
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“I know there’s such a thing as freedom of speech and expression, but this kinda shit should be banned. Theres is only one God and one Holy Word. Why dont you people get that?”
………. OK, Yes, we have Freedom of Speech. As the First Amendment states, “Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.”
So, I have every right to worship whomever or whatever I want, just as you do. Please keep your God and your beliefs to yourself and stop trying to impose him on everyone you see. And I will do the same.
“If I were to ever have the displeasure of meeting your retarded ass, I would probably beat you senseless untill your stupid childish mind thought like a normal person and believed in something that sounds correct”
… you probably agree with the Inquisition don’t you? You give religion a bad name.
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Religious fascism much? You fail to recognize that there is just as much proof for this theory as any other holy theory. God is just as likely as the flying spaghetti monster, and that is FACT BASED ON FACT not a religious bias. Notice how most world conflicts started over religion? Hitler believed he was a messiah and CHRISTIAN savior of the german people. The spanish killed those in an inqusition for nothing more than thier own beliefs, thousands died in the crusades. Please, realize that it is fine if you wish to practice your own beliefs. BUT DO NOT push them on others, treat them as absolute fact, or otherwise declare that it is the sole way that people should think. These are opinions made by egotists present in a church. Keep them there, don’t spout your bs in the rest of society.
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Off topic but I would just like to point out how it is strange that the only ones who lash out in anger and hatred are christians, no jews or muslims, no buddhists or confuciusts…. just christians. We hate that they are shoving their ID to us all and ramming religion and they try to prove us wrong by attacking our religion talking about how their faith is the right one and that we are dumb to disagree…. ironic.
-RAmen
ps – I realize my grammar, spelling, sentence structure, etc. is worse than a small child
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@Anony (135)
yes you are right!
i showd this site to same very veeeeery religes jew frind’s of mine and thay all smilde and lagh (i am tolking abawt peple how wont tuch an oposit sex before meridg).
i dont have any christen or muslem frinds to comper.. bat i defenetly never sew a hate mayl frome one.
RAmen!
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@Tyler (and christian could benefit here, also)
I’ll second TFTPTM’s recommendation of Brian Greene’s book, and further suggest “The Elegant Universe” by the same author, along with Leonard Susskind’s “The Cosmic Landscape” and “Programming the Universe” by Seth Lloyd. They offer many intriguing insights into the workings of the universe, unlike the bible, which offers many stories about how one should try to be a nice person and how to be a nasty unpleasant deity. Might help you to find your way out of that paper bag you have your head stuffed into.
RAmen
ET
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RELIGION = GEOGRAPHY.
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“If I were to ever have the displeasure of meeting your retarded ass, I would probably beat you senseless untill your stupid childish mind thought like a normal person and believed in something that sounds correct”
So wait, let me see if I understand this; if this guy is normal, and pastafarians are not normal, the only way for us to get to his level is severe brain trauma and loss of cognitive and logical faculties? Only when I’m dumb enough will I be just like him?
He must have studied debate….and maybe polite conversation, under the Kansas School guidelines. Priceless.
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Hey Angry Boy,
What if FSM is God’s way of saying “lighten up all ye religious hardliners…the factioning of religions is not what I want”!
It is your angry attitude is the type that leads to “holy” wars and bombing of abortion clinics.
Comedy is a pretty good technique to tackle something as staunchly stiff as religion…who is right, who is wrong…my pastor said this and it is literal truth and I am too small minded to see it another way.
So lighten up Francis, it is not the end of the world and when that comes God/The Universe/Our maker/The FSM will judge us, not you!!!
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Anony: I guess it’s mostly because:
1. FSM is a mostly american thing. The only people here (Slovakia) I know that know of the FSM are those to whom I have spoken about His Noodlyness.
2. Budhist and that sort are a VERY peaceful bunch.
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Do you really believe there is some guy up in the clouds (that isn’t made of spaghetti) that magically created everything? Pastafarians don’t force our views onto others like…well some religions I know. There’s only one holy word? Last time I checked there was a wide range of different religions which have their own INTERPRETATION of the “holy word”. HAHAHA you’re an idiot for not understanding the pirate graph… I could explain it to you but I think I’ll just enjoy the happy feeling I have inside from your shear inability to think beyond simple meaning.
Ah how original, religious twats persecuting others because they don’t believe the same thing. You’d like to beat me senseless? I guess that would be bringing me down to your way of thinking, I would rather beat some sense into you. If you think by me saying this I’m suggesting that you should believe in FSM then you’re just as ignorant as I think you are.
Also, I’m not sure your idea of introducing mental examinations of babies then locking up those who fail is really a good plan.
Ah how I love hate mail. And to commenter 34 “Paul” we Pastafarians don’t hate Christians, if anything we pity them.
-David
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Dear dumb ass ‘folower’ of Christianity,
I would like to bring it to your attention that you actually made a decent point in the argument! ‘If I were to ever have the displeasure of meeting your retarded ass, I would probably beat you senseless untill your stupid childish mind thought like a normal person and believed in something that sounds correct instead of just saying “Eh, lets make a new religion..and what the hell, our ‘god’ should be a clump of spaghetti.’ This is awesome! I didn’t realize that “a normal person” was a person who believed in God after being beat senseless. That does make sense though. But I do have to ask, how can you say “believed in something that sounds correct”? Okay, let’s look at it. A random guy named Jesus was born to a lady name Mary who claimed to not be sleeping around. After he’s born, turns out he’s almost as cool as Harry Potter and can do a bunch of nifty tricks. You know, like heal the blind, and cure the sick, and bring back dead people. That sounds pretty correct to me, I see people like that walking around every day. Pastafarians however, have the right idea. We keep to ourselves, believe our own ideas, and respond intelligently to our hate-mail that comes from unrelenting, unintelligent christian brain washers.
Enjoy!
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Tyler – I’ve read the Priviledged Planet and its not very convincing. It is also not respected in the true scientific community. Read Carl Sagan if you want some really good science and answers to your questions.
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Well, it turns out that this website is satirical in nature…as in it was not created as an acutal religion, but to prove a point. It was made to prove a point to a certain group of self-righteous people who think they can encroah on the foundations of science, a way of thought created long before you and I have cursed this earth with our petty arguing.
You’re not going to change anyone’s mind here, just like we’re not going to change yours and I can safely say that you completely missed the point of this website. I don’t want to explain it’s total purpose and impact to you b/c it will probably go right over your head.
I hope that you can work past using profanity in your arguments…It really does not heighten the credibility of your logos.
“Science will defeat darkness.”
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Oh! The hypocrisy! I read your post, counted all of the hypocritical statements I could, then laughed to myself.
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LOL I have to statements to this mail
1st I think he is on the rag our something
and 2nd isnt a sin or something to be judgemental if your christian
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we get called dumb asses for believing in a flying spaghetti monster but it is perfecty acceptable to believe in an invisible man that lives in the sky.
suck my nuts you prick.
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Wow, look at how abusive the Christians have become… Oh wait, look what they did to their savior Jesus, okay, maybe that was the Jews, but even so, who became the Christians? Some of the Jews, and even so, have you heard of Jews For Jesus? I did laugh at this letter to start until he mentioned beating Bobby senseless, then my jaw dropped, well, not literally but yeah. At least Pastafarians don’t go around nailing people to crosses and threatening to beat the shit out of them until they believe in the Christian “God”. Anyways, have a good day fellow humans who are not Christian haters of this religion.
Yours Truly,
Joseph Mayhew
PS. I am not a follower of FSM, as I am Agnostic, but I do believe in it more than Christianity.
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:D Wow, this totally sold me on FSMism.
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wow i agree 100% with this hate mail lmao fsm is a joke how in the hell does a fsm make people?????? meatballs with pasta and eyes = wtf?!
JESUS PREVAILS!
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Yes, cosmic jewish zombie who’s body is made of bread and who’s veins flow with wine prevails.
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raglle – you say FSM is a joke? Now you get it!
The difference? We’re a joke who hasn’t sacrificed anyone to our god. What other religion can make that claim?
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didnt jebus preach not beating people?
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@Raglle (#151)
i think you’ll find that a cosmic zombie made of bread who is his own father, and who died to save the ENTIRE HUMAN RACE also = wtf?!
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Dear raglle,
Well, you have convinced me. I still have one question, though. How in the hell does God make people? How, exactly is it done?
Please reply as soon as possible because my full conversion hangs in the balance.
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Seriously? This idiot obviously doesn’t get the point this website is trying to make. We’re making fun of over-zealous people like you that force your religion on everybody by trying to ban teaching evolution in schools, preventing gay people from getting married etc.
And whats with the hatred? Last time I checked Jesus said Love thy Neighbor. I seriously doubt it is very Christian to beat someone up whom you have disagreement with. Study your religion a bit more before you start criticizing and threatening other people.
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@raglle
Another one swinging at the outside curve. “how in the hell does a fsm make people?”, you ask? Easy. Take three cups of boiling water, add one cup of instant people, cover and reduce heat to low, and simmer for 45 minutes. Same as any other god.
Sheesh. They let them vote, drive, and reproduce.
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“Last time I checked Jesus said Love thy Neighbor.”
Fundie interpretation of “Neighbour” applies only to anyone who belongs the same sect, or cult, and agrees with everything they believe.
I’ve come across a few discussions on the meaning of the “neighbour” reference at fundie sites.
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The type of people that come to this site come here only to laugh at your hate mail. They are the very same intelligent logically-minded people that made possible the technology, and consequently that very computer you are typing your poorly executed rant on. Without them you and your brainwashed ilk would have remained in the dark ages with nothing but a note tied to a pigeon’s leg to communicate with your friends, so show them some respect and get on with your little life believing whatever makes you feel good but don’t impose your irrational drivel on others. Just because it’s happened to you doesn’t make it true.
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““ANNONYMOUS”,
You’re a stupid moronic christian who couldn’t spell if you’re life depended on it.”
“ANNONYMOUS”,
You’re a stupid moronic christian who couldn’t spell if your life depended on it.
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It’s not annonymous. It’s anonymous. Use a spell check.
And you’re not doing your religions any favours by saying you want to beat us up.
And by the way, my IQ is probably higher than yours by at least 20 points. Please, get a life, a sense of humour, and laid. =D
I actually feel sorry for you. You’re the one who’s going to Hell. All those other Hardcore Christians are, too. Hatred was never in the bible- in fact, all the people who /did/ hate went to Hell.(As far as I read, of course. How would I know too well? I’m only 14.)
Well, I’ll see ya down in the great pit.
I hope you enjoy your stale beer.
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Am I the only one who finds it funny that they signed it ’sincerely, annoynmous [sic]‘? How sincere can you be when you’re too lazy to even make up a name?
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raglle (#151)- I agree with everything that the pastafian’s before me have said to you. You say that “i agree 100% with this hate mail”, which preaches hate and violence. If your jesus is love, then hasn’t satan prevailed over you?
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“Anonnymous”
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“Annonymous” *** I have a hard time re-spelling nonexistent words.
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Jesus is perspective.
Everything is perspective.
You guys think abortion is murder. I think abortion is just weeding out unwanted stuff.
And something that has been bothering me for so long..
If guys got pregnant, would abortion be legalized?
Don’t answer. It was just something that was bugging me.
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Well, legalized /more/.
Maybe the better term is socially acceptable? ._.
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Oh man,
My sides are hurting after reading that retard’s posting. Religious people are so stupid that don’t get irony or satire.
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You are truly retarded! I’m surprised that He hasn’t smited you with a Holy Meatball of Fire.
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someone missed the whole point of the pastafarai revolution, obviously.
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o/’ And that’s the definition of the word
o/’ Irooooonyyyyyy~
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firstly hey! to everyone (apart from the abusive “anonomous” .
now im a buddhist i am peaceful (thanku for noticing dagg (page 8 , response 141)) but i dont think that the litany of insult u sent these people was entirely smart , think about it if ure a christian (which is fine by me) then u are taught to believe in kindness fairness to others , love thy neighbour etc. NOW i must stress at this point that whilst u may think these FSM believers are weird at least they have an image of what they believe in , worship , pay homage to (however your wording is ) christians on the other hand just shout about everything and expect people to follow and give them money.(my apologies i got carried away there) anywho . . . . where was i ?? oh yea. “anon” leave these people alone , i have no doubt in my mind that u are one of these forgotten people that no one remembers from school who now has a mediocre job ,a mediocre house/flat and a rubbish outlook on life and u get your kicks by scouring the internet every day for hours on end finding religious sites and leaving messages (as you have here) throwing insults at these people you may never have met.
peace to those of you who deserve it
P.S. i love the depiction of “his noodliness” on the pic , very good
i’d just like to say “anonomous” , YOU JUST GOT BOYD BY AN 18 YEAR OLD SCOTTISH KID , BOOYA!
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I loved it, finally a good christian man telling it how it is. We need more people like this, cant you tell that this is the one way to salvation. Shake off your stringy meat soaked bonds and join us in God. You don’t have to think or anything!! In fact, our leaders believe in peace, love and relaxation so much that we are banned from thinking. They do the hard work for us
(TROLL), Sorry I’m bored and really have nothing else to do
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Jesus “H” fucking keeeyyyrriiiist! Thank GOD I’m an Athiest!
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Is a Flying Spagetti Monster really any less believeable then a god who created our world in 7 days? Who can control everything and see the future? I am neither if these religions but I am respectful of everyones beliefs and faith. This was rude and discrimitory against this group. If you were a good Catholic, scratch that if you were a good person you would be tolerant of other peoples beliefs and keep your opinions to yourself.
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Why do people open their mouths when they don’t really have anything to say? Rabble… RABBLE RABBLE RABBLE!!!!
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Wow…the irony…it hurts. Really this guy has just made an absolute retard of himself. He’s stupid enough to think that people actually religiously believe in a FSM. It’s all part of the grand joke made to mock the very people who run around telling us that a zombie Jesus is our lord and savior.
The very fact that he takes offense to the whole FSM concept is ridiculous. That’s like getting angry at Final Fantasy because it’s not “realistic” and people couldn’t possibly do what is done in that game. Well der it’s a game, there’s no argument about it’s realness, since the very purpose of it is a FANTASY.
I wish I could meet this person so that I could fully experience the hilarity of wetting myself from laughter at his supreme failure at existing.
Honesty I don’t understand how people still exist like that? Are they all hiding under rocks somewhere and come out at night?
Also the decrease in pirates IS the cause of global warming:
Pirates= awesome. raid. kill.= people are killed= less people=less pollution=less heat trapped=less global warming!
If there are no pirates global waring shall prevail. :P
People like this guy here who can’t tell when they’re being mocked by an ironic joke based around their own religious idiocies…how do they survive in the world? In fact FSM makes mores sense then the entire bible, which I unfortunately have read. FSM to say the least is consistent! The bible is so full of elitism, sexism, racism and contradictions and is as inconsistent as entropic jelly being thrown from a plane. (Just imagine that visual image, it’s quite amusing)
On another note I bet that guy is about 15, and a bet the average age of people here…if averaged out would be more like 19…or perhaps that’s just because of our supreme brain power that the great FSM has blessed us with. ;)
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@ Techskeptic.
The noah’s arc supposedly stayed afloat for a whole YEAR, the rain was just there for 40.
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This so ironic! I am an atheist and reading this just made me laugh. he has picked out all the flaws in his own argument. Too funny.
…and he spelt ‘anonymous’ wrong…
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I have one thing to say to you “annonymous” (hasn’t your un-noodly God taught you to spell yet?), and that is –
RAmen, dude. RAmen.
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Not bad.
Religion is an easy target. That’s why the’re a bit sensitive.
Their problem is vulnerability somewhere in their labyrinth.
But they can easily kill you for what you are. Just look at their symbol and what’s on it. That could easily be You.
Be careful. They can be quite nasty.
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You guys are retarded.
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Possibly the most beautiful irony I have ever seen.
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This has to be most funny thing I’ve read all day.
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The small are often offended by the truth.
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Probably a troll.
Just sayin’.
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I like how this person criticizes one group for having stupid FAKE beliefs, albeit he doesn’t realize they’re fake, while having stupid REAL beliefs themselves. Irony is lost on theists. It’s like someone who hunts deer criticizing someone who plays the DeerHunter video games for being cruel to animals.
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What’s really funny to me..
Anyone who doesn’t believe in a god or gods would read the beliefs of the religious…and possibly say the SAME EXACT THINGS that this person said about FSMism…
It’s just funny to me..
To me..if someone wants to pretend that there’s some invisible man in the sky that keeps tally on everyone’s wrongdoings..then I think it’s just as “sane” to believe there’s a giant ball of pasta in the sky as well…or a teapot…or what have you.
Peace.
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Yeah, because Jesus went around beating the shit out of people and locking them up. Oh wait, NO HE DIDN’T! And if you would have read that bible that you like to beat people over the head with, you would have probably known that. Idiot.
The only retard here is you. You can’t even understand a fucking joke!
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Thank FSM for morans, er I mean more-ons, or is that returds?
WTF “christian” morons for the lols!
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Arrrrrgh!!! We be friendly Pirates!
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RIP AND TEAR! RIP AND TEAR! RIP AND TEAR! RIP AND TEAR! RIP AND TEAR! RIP AND TEAR! RIP AND TEAR! RIP AND TEAR! RIP AND TEAR! RIP AND TEAR! RIP AND TEAR! RIP AND TEAR! RIP AND TEAR! RIP AND TEAR! RIP AND TEAR! RIP AND TEAR! RIP AND TEAR! RIP AND TEAR! RIP AND TEAR! RIP AND TEAR! RIP AND TEAR! RIP AND TEAR! RIP AND TEAR! RIP AND TEAR! RIP AND TEAR! RIP AND TEAR! RIP AND TEAR! RIP AND TEAR! RIP AND TEAR! RIP AND TEAR! RIP AND TEAR! RIP AND TEAR! RIP AND TEAR! RIP AND TEAR! RIP AND TEAR! RIP AND TEAR! RIP AND TEAR! RIP AND TEAR! RIP AND TEAR! RIP AND TEAR! RIP AND TEAR! RIP AND TEAR! RIP AND TEAR! RIP AND TEAR! RIP AND TEAR! RIP AND TEAR! RIP AND TEAR! RIP AND TEAR! RIP AND TEAR! RIP AND TEAR! RIP AND TEAR! RIP AND TEAR! RIP AND TEAR!
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lolwut?
Do you actually think anyone ACTUALLY believes in a Flying Spaghetti Monster? Seriously? YOU’RE A FUCKING TOOL.
Get the hell off our internets.
Oh, wait, damn, I get it.
Successful troll is successful.
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I don’t know if anyone’s already done this, cos the comment list is a bit tl;dr, but:
Dear dumb ass folowers of Christianity,
There have been a lot of weird things that i have seen in my life before, but this tops them all. Do you really believe that there is/was such a thing as a god? Seriously, how fucking old are you? I know there’s such a thing as freedom of speech and expression, but this kinda shit should be banned. Theres is only one Flying Spaghetti Monster and one Holy Bolognese Recipe. Why dont you people get that? How much sense does it make to say that the world was created in 6 days? Is that science or some fifth grader trying to sound smart?
You are the kinds of people I dread to meet in public. If I were to ever have the displeasure of meeting your retarded ass, I would probably beat you senseless untill your stupid childish mind thought like a normal person and believed in something that sounds correct instead of just saying “Eh, lets make a new religion..and what the hell, our ‘FSM’ should be a bearded guy. Oh, and it should have magical powers and sit on a cloud. Lets bow down to it and see how many people follow suit!”
Damn you all to hell!! Better yet, somebody should lock you in a fucking psychiatric ward for further examination because they obviously didnt do that enough when you dumb fucks were born. I hope this web page is taken off the web as quickly as it was put up.
–Sincerly,
ANONYMOUS
Aside: “Better yet, somebody should lock you in a fucking psychiatric ward for further examination because they obviously DIDNT DO THAT ENOUGH when you dumb fucks were born.” This comes from a guy who thinks that being locked in psychiatric ward is a NORMAL THING FOR BABIES. Insane.
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(I am not a follower of flying spaghetti monster or any other God)
Dear dumb ass Dear follower of Christianity,
HI WHAT THE FUCKS UP DUMB ASS? …YOU CAN’T EVEN FUCKING SPELL FOLLOWER AND YOU’RE CALLING THESE PEOPLE DUMB ASSES?! You’re a pussy fuck.
Take a fucking chill pill seriously. I really fucking suggest some Marijuana maybe, Heroin..I don’t fucking know..start a fucking hobby, get your head out of your ass. Then maybe you’d realize your god is a revengeful, self-loving, conceited, hateful, fake, cock sucking bastard.
Seriously, Your god makes people with original sin then impregnates a woman with his son to die for the sin already set in them. Then doesn’t ever show his face or any sign that he is there and if someone doesn’t believe in him they are condemned to a burning pit of plasma doom. OH YEAH THAT’S THE GOD I WANT. If I do something he doesn’t like, burn! sizzle! wham! tortured for eternity. Awesome. Yeah he’s really fucking loving, you know sending someone to an eternal torture session because they lied, or they stole a 5 dollar bracelet from a flea market when they were 10, and never “repented”. Fuck your god. He’s just as fake as the stories behind a group of stars.
Oh. And who the fuck are you to damn any one to hell bitch? If I was your god I’d smite your fucking head off, you piece of shit. You don’t have the fucking right to jump all over these peoples dicks just because you disagree, I don’t know man, start a debate club or some shit or just leave people the fuck alone. Get some fucking anger management maybe? You asked for this bullshit. You want an argument you fucking got one, cunt.
Do you have a fucking brain in your fucking head?
Do you praise your almighty god with that mouth? Oh I’m fucking sure.
I’ve never in my life read something written by someone as ignorant and closed minded as you..Yeah maybe the beliefs of these people come as a shock to some people but hey that’s no ones business..THIS DOESN’T EFFECT YOU, YOU STUPID FUCK ASS BITCH.
Have a cock licking day, ass reamer.
There is too many gods and too many religions..we’ll never know who’s right or wrong..this is why wars are started, this is why there is so much hate in the world. And I choose not to be apart of any religion or any “side”. I’m free minded, and it feels good.
Have a nice life everyone, in the end we’re all dust.
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Obviously this moron does not represent the true Christian in any way. A Nazi at best, but to assume and then attack this idiot and insulting all Christians show an incredible amount of insensitivity and how equally self-centered you’re all being. My OPINION is that this ‘religion’ to which you people are defending sounds like something out of a Disney Cartoon and made up to see if anyone would be foolish to follow it. Christianity is a religion and as such does require faith but all must admit there is at least some evidence that it is true. I don’t think it’s logical to say the same of FSM. More importantly the Constitution says that everybody has the right to believe whatever they want and to be free from persecution. I suggest we all persevere to not go down that path.
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He made a joke about me :( he said I dread to meet you, i have dreadlocks and i find that offensive and saying things like that should be banned!
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“Science or some fifth grader trying to sound smart?”
Could say the same about yours, friend.
And the FSM IS a made up figure, just like your God. Nobody actually worships him. It was created to show the complete dumbassery involved in teaching creationism in school.
And no, your contradictory Bible and God don’t sound correct. They sound like an old wives tale or an ancient Shaman ritual. Yours has been proven no more than the FSM.
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First things first I’m agnostic so don’t pull “oh you call yourself a christian” bullshit on me.
Are you sure you guys didn’t just gather around and do acid and were tripping out on dinner? If not then..
I think your all a bunch of brainwashed idiots. So does this mean you guys don’t eat spagetti or anything that can be used for spagetti? How did your godly spagetti come to life? Who killed the cow for the meatballs? WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU THINKING. We live in a decaying world and you dare to inform me theres a “religion” where spagetti is looked at as a god? Are you.. Are you kidding me! Doesn’t the world have enough problems to put all religions aside and believe in reality and what we see around us. Are you honestly goin to tell me your going to question your heavenly spagetti?
What are your grand children or children going to think and say when they here their favorite dinner is supernatural? First there going to lauh until the probably wet themselves and walk away thinking your a fuckin nut job or joking. For their sake tell them you were kidding.
How come this is legal and weed isn’t? I’ve lost hope in mankind yet again!
Truthfully.
A now dissapointed teen
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Are you fucking kidding me? The idea of the Flying Spaghetti Monster is just as rational as Jesus, Buddha, Allah, or any other type of God from any other religion. Quit being so fucking close-minded.
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I feel as though you skipped a very important process in publishing any kind of article, or comment for that matter, and that, my friend, was the proof-reading portion. I can’t take you seriously for multiple reasons. The biggest reason being the obvious literacy problem you possess. I don’t pretend to be any kind of genius, but I can spell, and what I can’t spell, I look up. Checking your work can be helpful in many ways, mostly, to make sure you don’t publish something and consequently end up looking like a complete tool because you spelt something as simple as “Followers” incorrectly.
Secondly, nobody really believes in the FSM; It is simply something we can use to piss people like you off. It’s really to extend to you, and your friends alike, a giant bitch slap, and a kind reminder that FSM is just as realistic as your God.
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Apparently you fail to understand the meaning of the word “parody.” Look it up. Then tell me you think the followers of the Flying Spaghetti Monster really believe that stuff.
Actually, I’ll look it up for you.
par-o-dy (n)
any humorous, satirical, or burlesque imitation, as of a person, event, etc.
The Flying Spaghetti Monster religion is a parody religion, designed to show people just how idiotic the entire concept of religion really is. Explain to me how it is more logical to believe that a man who lived 2000 years ago did magic than it is to believe in atmospheric temperature-changing pirates. It isn’t more logical; they’re both extremely stupid. The followers of the FSM understand that, and it’s no surprise that people like you don’t.
The Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster was formed in 2005 by Bobby Henderson to protest the decision by the Kansas State Board of Education requiring that intelligent design be taught in school classrooms alongside evolution. If you actually did your research, which I am completely unsurprised to find that you didn’t, you would know these things. But like any other person who completely ignores all reason and fact, you just pull facts out of your ass.
Pastafarians (people who “believe” in the Flying Spaghetti Monster) believe that that the lack of pirates is causing global warming. This is, of course, false, as the graph showing this correlation is very obviously flawed in that it lists 35000, then 45000, then 20000 on the x-axis to show the increase in global average temperature. This flaw has a purpose: to show that intelligent design argument must misrepresent data to have any chance of saying something scientific-sounding.
So do us all a favor and pull your head out of your ass.
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Someone should teach you how to use a apostrophe.
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Case and point.
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there is no suck thing as god, amen.
p.s. christianity is a bunch of fucking bullshit, i’d believe in a FSM more then “god” or some jesus guy who was never alive in the first place.
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AAArrrgh, me matey, ’tis time you accept the fact that “bow down to it and see how many people follow suit” IS EXACTLY THE POINT! His noodly power and his woly hord grows every day. Maybe if your God offered ecclesiastical discounts instead of eternal damnation, you would have more people joining YOUR church. I suppose being one of the chosen can be a lonely business sometimes. Pirates, on the other hand, never seem to lack for companionship. WE ARE EVERYWHERE!
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Ok, let’s just use some logic here. If there is a god, he/she/it would obviously love us..it’s creations and want us to be happy, and seriously, what makes anyone more happy than spaghetti?
Only commies don’t like spaghetti, so you sir, I think are a commie. I bet your God looks exactly like Stalin, you Gorbachev hating sputnik launching bastard! Back off Boris!
I’ll be turning you over to the authorities for possible commie activities.
We kicked your ass in Rocky IV and we’ll do it again! We kill in the name of our savior, the mighty exalted noodley one. Accept the noodle and live in bliss for eternity or perish in pasta-less hell like the wretched commie heathen that you are!
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FSM..Oh, I get it…a new church where you can eat your god?
cool
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All right! Finally, one obnoxiously hateful religionist to rule them all! Intolerance makes the world go round! This guy was right on the money!
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You know, after reading this post I did realize that worshiping his Noodliness is far more inane than bowing down to an omnipotent, omniscient, omnibenevolent being that nobody has ever seen or contacted! It all makes sense now.
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Let’s see here…
beat me senseless…until I think normally.
…
wat?
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obvious troll is obvious.
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lol thats a made up god from south park its a tv show ur an idiot take a joke fag
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Yeah sure . . .
look at things this way. At communion you christo-fascists only get a bread crumb and grape juice. Here at FSM, we get spaghetti and 2 meatballs with a quarter-liter of red wine, and garlic bread . . . not to mention a tomato sauce to die for.
Take that . . . ill-nourished cur.
bipolar2
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I guess he didn’t get the memo.
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Dear Sir (or Madam),
You perpetuate the ill-concieved notion that Christians are intolerant morons who cannot accept anyone’s beliefs. We have a spaghetti monster; you have a santa claus-esque, seventy-million something, prozac’d, vengeful, bipolar moron who, in his benevolence and mercy, is controversially responsible for some of the most monstrous scourges ever to plague (literally) the earth. As a practicing Christian, you insult me as well as anyone who a) has a mild sense of humor, and b) has any religious beliefs whatsoever. It is people like you, pious, Bible-clutching, intolerant hellspawn, who make religion, politics, and life in general, more obnoxious.
Please: This is your opinion. I can respect that. If, however, you expect to be able to post a rant about a now-legitimate religious sect with followers that rival zapatistas in their ferocity, understand that it comes with a backlash, and makes you look like some kind of flaming ‘tard, for lack of a better term.
Cheers,
Gordon, CA
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Stop worrying about what the rest of us are doing and pick up a grammar school English book. People like us would probably take you a little more seriously if you’re web tirade wasn’t full of spelling and punctuation errors. Just a suggestion.
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I’m a big, tough man. I can yell insults and threats through the safety of web anonymity.
Oogah boogah boogah
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Being Christian this mail makes me sick. This person needs to shut his or her mouth and learn somethings. Just cause you dont agree with someone else’s postion doesnt mean you get to foul mouth them. Plus they shouldnt be breaking down people. Thats no way to try and win someone over. This mail makes me sick. I apologize for those that claim to be Christian and do dumbness like this. IF you want to talk to a decent human being that is intelligent about he believes in I am open to talk. Dont make the same mistake that this fool makes and lump all Christians in one intellectually challenged bin.
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hmm.
it seems to me that the FSM is equally as plausible as God.
Whos to say that an FSM didnt kick start the universe?
Hell, I’d actually make the argument that a FSM could proove several theological claims better then an Abrahamic God could any day.
The flying spaghetti monster solves the problem of evil.
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I Lol’d.
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This is to be filed under ‘People who don’t get it.’
’nuff said
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I am SO glad I’m not you.
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Believer (#197) “Obviously this moron does not represent the true Christian in any way. A Nazi at best, but to assume and then attack this idiot and insulting all Christians show an incredible amount of insensitivity and how equally self-centered you’re all being.”
I agree with that in part, a lot of the responses to the hate mail can be insensitive to christians. However, most of the hate mailers describe themselves as christian. Is it a surprise we describe them as such when coming back at them? Christian is a word that covers many denominations, beliefs and practices. When it’s used here, it most likely refers to the fundamentalist Christians who post the hate mail. If you don’t like being associated with them, keep fighting back against them and reclaim the word or tell us what denomination/type of christian you are.
“Christianity is a religion and as such does require faith but all must admit there is at least some evidence that it is true.” There I respectfully disagree, I’ve seen nothing I’d consider evidence rather than dogma.
jmfoltz (#220) “Being Christian this mail makes me sick. This person needs to shut his or her mouth and learn somethings.” “Dont make the same mistake that this fool makes and lump all Christians in one intellectually challenged bin.”
Keep talking like that and reclaim the name from the extremists.
Anyway, my thanks to both for contributing and reminding me that not all christians are fundamentalist monsters.
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BEST. TROLL. EVER.
This made me laugh so much… thanks Anonny!
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Hey dipshits, this is obviously a plant.
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Clearly, Mr/Ms Too Fucking Scared to Post Your Name, your small rapidly decaying brain can’t comprehend comparisons and abstract concepts. You’re too fucking stupid to realize that your belief sounds just as absurd to FSM believers as theirs does to you. That’s the point, you misfired cum shot.
Before you dismiss people that believe in FSM, take a second at YOUR dogma. You believe in an invisible man that lives in the sky that zaps shit into creation like the genie from Aladdin, you believe the world is 12,000 years old, you believe that dinosaurs didn’t really exist, you believe in a boogie man that lives under the ground that is responsible for all the bad things in the world, and you believe in magical beings with wings that follow you around. You believe in talking snakes, men walking on water and zombies. Face it, your religion is fucking stupid.
Jesus was not the son of God, there is no God, heaven or hell. You’re all alone and you always will be. What gives me comfort is that your hate-filled mind won’t realize that you’re going to fade into darkness forever until the moment you’re dying and no God shows up to rescue you. That will be the last thought you have in life, and given your disposition, you will probably be really angry about it. It’s a shame really, that your last moments will be spent in total rage and misery. Good journey and congratulations, you are the poster child for contraceptives. Your parents wish you had been a facial.
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How is a spaghetti monster any more ridiculous than an invisible man in the sky who gets mad at you when you masturbate?
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I would like to apply for membership in the fsms church. Will I be required to give up my membership in the “flat earth society”? I hope you will accept me because I already named my first born son “Flying Speggiti Monster”. I will look very silly to my family if you reject me. Please allow me into your religon. Thanx, Christ
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Wow, what an ignoramus… I’m sorry, but some people should not have been let out of a psych ward to prevent them being a threat to normal humanity. It’s people like that who i would not want to meet in public, as they feel that violence is the way to get their view across…
Oh, and @whoever-said-that you never get hate-mail from real christians, that’s probably due to the fact that we’re not really into the hating, more the loving, so you’re highly unlikely to find any hate-mail :P
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Weeell, the reason FSM is slightly less plausible than God is ‘cos, due to the fact that you’re not supposed to be able to see God, you can’t, but FSM’s supposed to be visible, yes? Just one point, i’m sure you can fire several more back at me going the other way, but that seems to be the most scientific (Y)
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Obvious troll is obvious.
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I don’t understand why people have to put other people down just because their beliefs and values aren’t the same… This comment isn’t restricted to any religion (or lack of).
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Fake hatemail. Seen it all before.
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I can sort of see the idea behind most religious doctrines, but seriously, what does the biblical jesus-zombie have against spell-checkers?
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Eh huurm. Well, How old are you? spelling “followers” incorrectly, and, well… using childish slang such as: “kinda” I’m shocked you’d take the time to post such a racist opinion. Saying there is only one God and one Holy Word. I feel as if we’ve found ourselves another Hitler in the making. Finally if you were actually older than 13 you’d be MUCH more polite and sincere about anything, I never knew a child who seems to be religious wouldn’t be open to the concept of multiple religions, and wouldn’t swear so much. Thank you. FuckTard Anonymous. :D
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If people can believe in something as ridiculous as Creationism then why can’t people believe in Spaghetti Monsters.
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Well, he does have one thing right. It does take a considerable amount of brain damage to make any of us follow this guy’s god! He would have to beat us senseless… LITERALLY!
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You missed the point of fsmism its to make fun of idiots like you who believe in stupid religions like christianity, dumbass
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Wow… THAT IS AWESOME!!! I’m very impressed at how much fervor that one put into his/her little speech there!
It saddens me though how we are must endure this objection to freedom of speech as if we will just cast our Noodliness aside because he yelled at us. Are we children? Maybe… but according to my license I am still an American adult and as such have right to whatever religion, work, and above all voice, that I so choose.
Does the Declaration of Independence not say, “We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal,”(even though this man/woman clearly doesn’t think so.) “that they are endowed by their Creator”(their, meaning a person can choose who created them!) “with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.”
Anyone can pursue happiness, although not guaranteed. You make your own happiness and if Mr./Mrs. Annonymous would like to get a cup of coffee and just talk about sports or baking or anything that would cause them to be happy instead of the anger that is cause by being a religious zealot, I would be more than happy to oblige.
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Lol how come nobody is laughing? I may have missed something but either both this site and that guy above (”dear dumb ass followers of fsmism…”) are a joke or just this site is a joke and that guy is actually SERIOUS (if he is, he has to be like 10, I think) and offended, then he should be laughed at, right? Well, he should be laughed at anyway, but still.
You know, I usually feel so bad for all the honest, good natured people of religious beliefs who don’t try to convert people, but have to suffer through atheistic slander… and then you have guys like that who make true, honest, healthy spiritual life a complete hypocritical joke… its really quite pathetic.
…At least not all those religious are as ridiculous, thank god (or whoever)…
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Hooray for intolerance. ^o^
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Dude, whatever.
The FSM is x10000000000 times more believable then the whole Jesus thing.
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Plus the FSM tastes way better then those shitty crackers you get in church.
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Dear Author of – Dear dumb ass folowers of FSMism,
^^^^^^^
Spelling!?
First and foremost,
Thank you for your keen insight into our religion. Do you have the same hatred for those that believe in other gods, Buddha, Allah, or any of the other roughly 2500 deities in existence?
What offshoot of Christianity do you belong too that advocates violence to put over your religious view. Where is it written that your religion is “The” religion?
What sets us Pastafarians apart from other religions and religious zealots, like yourself, is that we don’t care if you “get it”. If you don’t, then we really do not want you at our table…..if you do…great. Welcome aboard….
I leave this with you Cletus…. I would not raise a hand or voice to shove religion down anyones throat…but god I hope I am the one dude you get to run across on your anti-FSM tour.
May you be touched by his noodley appendage and finally know peace.
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LOL!!
…Oh wait, you’re not joking are you? You really don’t get it.
Substitute “Christianity” every time you write “FSM” and maybe you’ll get it. Maybe. Good luck.
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May the FSM touch you with his noodley appendage
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i dont follow either religion cause im an atheist but people saying there is a spaghetti god is no different or crazier than saying there is a god at all. if anyone actually finds solid proof,other than the bible written by some guys, that there is truly any god, tell me. my email is kk1691_21@hotmail.com
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Someone has entirely missed the point. :)
My favourite line:
“I would probably beat you senseless untill your stupid childish mind thought like a normal person and believed in something that sounds correct ”
Oh the irony. :)
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Lmao, there are just times when we all should realize that there are some things in the world that the main stream fundamentalist christians just wont get, like clever ideas and annalogies, good music, respecting each others believes and sometimes just common logic. HaHa just an annonymous facist retard, hope your god likes your sarcasm otherwise hell is calling your annonymous name… Peace Out
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Genius. I love when people don’t see the irony… xD
~Ania z Wrocławia
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Wow. Very naive, if this is real.
I am a religiously inclined person myself (yes, Christian); and I love the flying spaghetti monster. It brings a wonderful perspective and levity to religious dogma that has been missing. If you are going to believe something; it should be because you’ve actually thought about it and have found truth in it.
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Hilariously braindead posting “Anonymous”! Pity you’re too chicken-shit to actually post a name with your retarded flaming email. There are ample people, me among them, who would take equal pleasure in confronting retarded people like you in public and giving you a blanket party til you realized the numerous errors of your narrow, shallow and wholeheartedly vacuous mind…
Oh, and by the way, rather than wasting your brain on some so-called “holy” text like the bible, why don’t you try a dictionary.
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Christians and/or catholics eat the body of christ ( in cracker form ) . I’d rather eat our god with a piece of garlic toast !!!!!!!!!!!!
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y’all got trolled
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hahahahahahahahahahaah. This just makes me laugh.
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Now, I may be mistaken, but I think the ENTIRE idea for the Flying Spaghetti Monster was created to make people like YOU realize how ridiculous religion is. And you don’t do a good job of disproving this. Calling yourself a Christian and then saying you’re going to, er, “beat you senseless” is not something Jesus would do, is it? Hypocrite.
Anyway, FSM was created because of people like you. The point of it is to make people realize how ridiculous a religion is and yet how easy it is to accumulate followers. Imagine this, if you can: the Flying Spaghetti Monster sounds as ridiculous to you as YOU sound to many people. Have some respect. How is FSM any more unbelievable than a dead guy who came back to life and floated into the sky? Really. You are just displaying a case of ethnocentrism, meaning you only believe that your beliefs are right.
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Hahaha… exactly! Do the old switcharoo with the words “Christianity” and “Flying Spaghetti Monster” and you’ve got our feelings towards institutionalized religion!
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What’s this about only one god and the Holy Word? Freedom of speech and Religion means you can believe whatever you want. I don’t believe in the Bible, and you know why? Because I think it’s bullshit. This stuff isn’t illegal because it’s IN THE FUCKING CONSTITUTION. Maybe you’re the stupid fifth grader for not thinking of that. Second, If you believe in a God who tells you to beat the shit out of someone because they think in a strange way, you are one sick fuck, and so is your God, because he’s telling you it’s ok to attack the innocent, an action I’m pretty sure the Bible contradicts.
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christianity isn’t about hatred. so why do the haters call themselves a christian?
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It doesn’t say hes a christian….? this person could be from some other religion….
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I’m so glad I’m an atheist. :)
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lol he doesn’t realize it’s parody
/discussion
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dude you totally missed the boat on this one. i pity you and your closed minded sect. may the FSM show you mercy – RAmen
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Why is this stumble, i mean seriously, i supposed randomness can affect a little in one’s feelings but hey, at least i would mind something interesting not just silly cheap “manifest” hahaha, well some people are stupid.
Oh by the way, hell sounds like a threat, maybe it helps you’re argument.
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Wow, it appears satire and humor are lost on this Einstein!
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Ironic that he believes beating someone senseless will make them think like a normal person. I bet his familial and sexual relationships are similar and very special. If I were to ever have the displeasure of meeting his retarded ass, it would only take about five minutes for me to have him licking dog crap off the sole of my shoe while begging me to let him take an enema…Let me know when you’re ready Annonymous, anytime.
-Sincerly
BILLY
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Dear FSMists:
I have tried to fight these hungers since first hearing of the FSM, but i can contain them no longer. I have an irresistable urge to eat your God. There, I said it, I feel better already.
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May a hail of parmesan cheese descend on all non-believers.
When it rains tomato sauce for forty days and forty nights and they are treading water like so many desperate meatballs, their tune will change.
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The pirate decrease/global warming increase ratio is proven yet further! With all the Somalian pirate attacks being at the forefront of the news, it’s interesting to note that the Midwest is going through an early cold spell this fall.
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Dead dumb-ass, psuedo-illiterate, violent, hypocritical and overall asshole (also known as ANNONYMOUS, or, a misspelling of Anonymous),
Go cry “Hellfire! Sinners! Repent!” to someone who cares. You’re only setting yourself up for a verbal beating.
Oh, and learn to spell properly and fix up your vocabulary while you’re at it: otherwise it’s that much more obvious that you haven’t come across
a) puberty, and
b) education.
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Whereas I agree with the Spirit(and He is Holy) of what you are saying in your message, but please think about this: You don’t have to agree with FSM but at least clean up your language and be more presentable for a family friendly website. you can say the same thing without showing us your flair for the swear words. Do grow up.
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violent, hateful christian PWNED!!!! by spaghetti commenters!!! luvz it. religion is the ONE SINGLE CAUSE of ALL war on this planet. and yet the segregated self-righteous, secular masses keep telling themselves that their god is full of infinite love and they just keep chanting the right name and they’ll live in eternal bliss. that sounds to me like a fear of death. i’m gonna die someday. i know it and accept it. whatever is beyond that, if anything, is not to be comprehended by the living, therefore should not be argued, idolated, propogated, and especially FOUGHT ABOUT!!!! however i’m all for punching douchebags in the face here on this earthly existence, and this moron ANONYMOUS, sir, i would love to see you try to beat me senseless for adding some competition to your retarded guy-on-a-plank religion. u could meet ur maker that much quicker. dipshit.
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It looks as if the joke is on you! This entire religion was created to poke fun at all religions as a whole. Stop for a second and think how idiotic all religions sound, and you will see that the FSM is no different. At least this religion doesn’t have 200+ contradictions within its text, and have hundreds of different sections with an old testament, a new, the new international, etc. Men that had no idea how their wives became pregnant or where the sun went at night wrote the bible. At least these guys have the common sense to know that all the current religions sound just as (if not more) ridiculous. Get mad jesus freak!!!!
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Are u guys Srs?
FSM is the most retarded idea i have ever heard of/
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Hahaha, this is completely ridiculous. I am not even a member here or anything, good old stumble upon apparently thought that you were an idiot to. It seems to throw me at pages depicting a religious fanatic making a complete ass of himself often enough… may be because I’m atheist? Who knows… /You/ are definitely the kind of Christian that ruins it for the few out there that are good. I do not condemn /all/ of the Christians, only because recently I have visited a church with a friend of mine, one where I’ve yet to even be confronted on being an atheist… though it is known, and all they have spoken of is ACCEPT AND LOVE EVERYONE UNCONDITIONALLY. Oh, but such a rare thing it is. I have been to other churches, and also seen man idiotic fanatics like you, proving again and again that /most/ Christians don’t even know how to follow their own religion. You are just an asshole who can’t seem to accept that you are wrong, and always will be. You go around and try to tear everyone else down, merely to make yourself feel more right. It’s childish really, to think that your fairy tale is any better than all the others. That is all any of them are, fairy tales. You want to know why you hate seeing things like this FSM religion. It is because you realize it is blatantly pointing out each and every fault in your own religion, and you cannot stand to have your precious bullshit shown to the world.
-Chaos
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I hope you guys see the irony in this letter.
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You do realize that the Flying Spaghetti Monster was primarily created in the same fashion as the Invisible Pink Unicorn right? It’s only there to put into perspective how retarded you are.
Saying that you talk to god everyday makes you sound religious, but if you talk to god through a hair dryer, that makes you insane. I don’t see how adding an object changes your sanity. Get the idea now?
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HA! learn how to spell, dear! LOVE YA FSM! :)
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oh why do you have to be so rude? we never did anything to you! >>(I think)
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Crazy bible thumper. I’ve never been to this site before, but it seems to me that it’s meant to be a joke. Does that person actually believe that people that come here believe in a Flying Spaghetti Monster?! lol Some people will use any excuse to be an ass…
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Out God is a jealous god. You FSM god has no chance against the God of the old testament. Be aware! And be scared!
old testament steb
(we also have a lot of missles and jets and stuff)
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Dueling banjo’s tune .. Why are they writing it actually if he met me in public and tried to kick my ass, he would be seeing the inside of an ambulance. Still as they say swearing is the crutch for inarticulate fuckers. Face it he was looking for some porn I mean some of those Shemales really look good don’t they
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I don’t think An(n)onymous is a real person. Furthermore, I suspect it was someone using satire to make fun of crazy people. Who knows, it could have been someone(Bobby Herderson) trying to drum up support for FSM using fear. At least I really hope so.
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I actually TAUGHT 5th grade, and two of the literary terms we learned were “irony” and “satire”. I believe “hypocrisy” and “fascism” are freshman English terms. On another note, since I am a masochistic hedonist not bound by your own self-professed christian ideals, I’d absolutely LOVE to see you take a stab at beating my ass senseless. Good luck!
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“Eh, lets make a new religion..and what the hell, our ‘god’ should be a clump of spaghetti. Oh, and it should have eyes and be able to fly. Lets bow down to it and see how many people follow suit!”
Ok.. but how about?
“Eh, lets make a new religion.. and what the hell, our ‘god’ should be something we can’t see, in a place that we can’t see. Oh, and he can see everything we do. And he will send us to hell if we do ANYTHING wrong. Lets bow down to him, and hell, lets give him a son too!. We’ll bow down to them, and hate anyone who disagrees with us. And we shall call it, Christianity.”
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um, next time you want to bash someone’s preferred religion, maybe you should investigate the Christian Church and their policy of kill the non-believers. Crusades, anyone?
I think you are just intimidated by His Noodliness. Don’t fear the wonderful Noodly Appendages, for it is people like you that he exists for.
Long story short, FSM is a religion created in answer to Christianity and idiots like you. It’s message is tolerance, and you just proved the point.
Congrats, oh, and ANNONYMOUS, learn how to spell. What, did you go to school in Kansas?
it’s ANONYMOUS. One N.
As in Noodle.
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Ok, FLYING SPAGHETTI, OH NO NO… WAIT, WITH EYEES?
C’MOOON! WHAT FOLLOWS? ITALY THE BIG PARADIIIISE!!!?
Sorry but… if this guy is retarded… I don’t even know how the hell call you people… really.
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hey, “Annonymous”,
one thing: if you’re going to tell people that they are stupid, then you had better spell your own name right.
and if there is just one Word of “God”, then it must be either very long or very hard to pronounce. I bet that’s why church takes hours. Seriously.
We all need to respect everyone and their choices, whether that be “God” or a giant bundle of flying spaghetti. We don’t have to agree, but we need to act like adults and be mature and face the fact that everyone believes something different.
Peace, Love and Chocolate. That’s all the world needs.
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I lol’d
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“Do you really believe that there is/was such a thing as a flying spaghetti monster?”
As much as I believe in any other god… How old are you? Is the concept of sarcasm totally new to you? ^^
“Seriously, how fucking old are you?”
I asked first :P
“I know there’s such a thing as freedom of speech and expression, but this kinda shit should be banned. Theres is only one God and one Holy Word.”
So there’s freedom of speech but only one true opinion. Right. And there’s only _one_ holy word? There are how many christian movements in the US? 50? Which of the dozens of translations of te bible is the right one?
“Why dont you people get that? How much sense does it make to say that decreasing numbers of pirates lead to an increase in average global temperature? Is that science or some fifth grader trying to sound smart?”
How much sense does it make to say that some guy died on the cross a few thousand years ago? Any proof? Any?
“You are the kinds of people I dread to meet in public. If I were to ever have the displeasure of meeting your retarded ass, I would probably beat you senseless untill your stupid childish mind thought like a normal person and believed in something that sounds correct instead of just saying “Eh, lets make a new religion..and what the hell, our ‘god’ should be a clump of spaghetti.”
Nice one. First of all it’s “kind of people”. Do yourself a favor and learn your own language. I learned it in school 10 years ago and still seem to have a better grasp of the concept of english…
Second: there you go :) “Turn the other cheek” is only for christians, beat up all the others ^^ Problem might be that I’m 1.90m and around 120 kg, so pleaaaaaaase get yourself a shirt stating your opinion because my religion doesn’t say it’s bad to beat someone up till they spit blood…
“Damn you all to hell!!”
Hell is a rather buggy concept. Never got the hang of it…
“Better yet, somebody should lock you in a fucking psychiatric ward for further examination because they obviously didnt do that enough when you dumb fucks were born.”
That from a guy threatening people to beat them up because they have a different opinion defending a religion which killed hundred thousands of innocent people. Nice one…
“I hope this web page is taken off the web as quickly as it was put up.”
I hope you have enough common sense to trust in science if you ever get sick, praying won’t bring you far…
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HAHA ITS FUNNY BECAUSE HE DOESNT UNDERSTAND THAT FSM IS A SATIRE OF HIS GOD AND BELIEFS HAHA
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the only thing thats funnier than Christianity; Christians
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Hahaha. Niiiiice. If there is one lesson I’ve learned in life, it’s that people only degenerate into name-calling, violence threatening fools when they feel genuinely threatened. Good job, FSM’ers. I salute you.
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ITs funny cause some one getting mad at this religion is even more stupid then the way this guy makes this religion sound
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go you FSM. this guy needs a life & I MEAN NEEDS A LIFE. WTF A TOTAL LOSER.
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There`s only one god? And you think you think? Poor imbecile, your head is up your ass. Yes, that spaguetti monster thing is stupid but you are the champion of the idiots, believing in a fucked up god and trying to preach your smart trash anonymously…The point is you are as fucked up as a crack whore. Die in a fucking fire.
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“You are the kinds of people I dread to meet in public.”
You meet us everyday, asshole. We’re just not the type of people who go around preaching our beliefs to others. We live and let live. You want to believe in Jesus? Fine. Others want to believe in the Flying Spaghetti Monster. Great. I worship my friend’s tattoo of Jesus riding a dinosaur; Jesusaurus Rex.
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–Sincerly,
ANNONYMOUS
lrn2grammer dumbfucks
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this guy created the spaghetti monster to prove religions are stupid. anyone can make one up
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Boy, the kid has a point there…
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As I read the initial hate letter, I was forced to laugh at the loss of irony on the part of the letter writer. I was forced to laugh at some of the responses as well.
The original writer is clearly a lunatic who cannot spell and has issues with grammar and punctuation. But what gets me is that a lot of the people responding to the original letter have equivalent problems with spelling, grammar and punctuation. Further, many people are quick to remind the original writer about the Christian ideals of forgiveness; because we all know how Christians have a history of forgiveness and religious tolerance. Tomas Torquemada (Grand Inquisitor of the Inquisition) was famous for his open-mindedness and toleration. Let’s not forget all of the tolerance surrounding the English Renaissance and the Reformation. How about all of the Christian love during the European (and Salem) witch hunts. There is the Christian compassion of Savaranola, who damned Lorenzo de Medici to hell on Medici’s deathbed. Emperors Justinian, and Constantine are excellent examples of Christian love and forgiveness (although Constantine has an excuse). And, I have not mentioned, of course, the long list of Saints who have killed in the name of their belief.
Just because people read the “One Holy Word” does not mean they follow it. (I am still wondering what that word is. I think it may be “Kleenex.”) I don’t think anyone need be surprised at the original poster’s intolerance. I am more appalled at his lack of grammatical skills and his lack of a relevant argument. (Thus proving the pirate/GW parody all the more relevant.) He is espousing the same hate rhetoric that Western society has been listening to for the past 2000 years.
I feel sorry for the poor bastard, Annonymous. He is a pathetic example of the the whole reason why we need Pastafarians.
The whole open letter was a refreshing and fun to read when I first read it 3 years ago. I still read it because I find it amusing. But, I would like to remind that where the letter points out the obvious, the obtuse will never get it. Annonymous is obviously that obtuse. Arguing with someone like Annonymous is like arguing with my dog. He has even made it apparent that he does not care about anyone else’s opinions. He has no idea what the First Ammendment is about, he knows nothing about his religion or its history and he is intentionally belligerent. He is incapable of advanced thought and does not understand the concept that both science and religion can co-exist.
Come to think of it, there is a lot of intolerance amongst the scientific community concerning religion. That is, for many, science is a new religion and belief systems should be disregarded. Tolerance begins in our own metaphorical hearts. Being tolerant towards idiots who wish to see others locked up because of an alternative belief system is what JC was talking about when he mentioned “turning the other cheek.”
But I would love to know what this guy thinks about the idea that JC was a terrorist who went into a temple, knocked over the tables and disrupted the exchange in order to fight the system. Further, JC had been planning that act of terrorism for years before enacting it. For proof, I refer to the book of Mark.
At least Jeebus didn’t destroy any temples.
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What’s so funny is he doesn’t realize what hes saying. He doesn’t understand what the flying spaghetti monster is about. And he is just threatened by the fact that his god probably isn’t real, so he has to get very defensive by cursing and telling people to go to hell because that’s EXACTLY what jesus would do (WJWD?)he thinks his hateful words are going to do something. If you do read this dipshit FSM is the irony behind your dumbass religion and how far fetched the bible is. come on now lets take our asses out of our heads and think logically here. Unfortunately our country has 97% of Christians , now that’s just sad.
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the thing about you is that you’ll laugh in the face of all the other religions and call them fake, yet you’ll take offense to anyone who calls yours fake. Although pastafarianism is a joke in my opinion, the fact that you believe yours is perfectly correct is just blatently ignorant
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SACRILEGE!
I bet NONE of you are wearing your pirate regalia. Please refrain from sharing FSM out of uniform.
Yarr
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Hey you dumb fuck. What you dont realize is that it doesnt matter what figgure a religion uses to represent moral values and whether or not god really exists or not. The fact of the matter is there are certain things that all people should see as right and wrong and apparently religion has done absolutely nothing for you b.c here you are promoting violence. I dont understand y everyone has yo always be focused on the history and physicality of religion and cant just realize the overall message that is being delivered.
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Did this person once claim to be a Christian? ….So why the blatant ant-Christian rhetoric?
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Dear Cristozombie,
You picked the wrong god and now you are doomed. DOOMED I say!
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