Dear dumb ass folowers of FSMism,
There have been a lot of weird things that i have seen in my life before, but this tops them all. Do you really believe that there is/was such a thing as a flying spaghetti monster? Seriously, how fucking old are you? I know there’s such a thing as freedom of speech and expression, but this kinda shit should be banned. Theres is only one God and one Holy Word. Why dont you people get that? How much sense does it make to say that decreasing numbers of pirates lead to an increase in average global temperature? Is that science or some fifth grader trying to sound smart?
You are the kinds of people I dread to meet in public. If I were to ever have the displeasure of meeting your retarded ass, I would probably beat you senseless untill your stupid childish mind thought like a normal person and believed in something that sounds correct instead of just saying “Eh, lets make a new religion..and what the hell, our ‘god’ should be a clump of spaghetti. Oh, and it should have eyes and be able to fly. Lets bow down to it and see how many people follow suit!”
Damn you all to hell!! Better yet, somebody should lock you in a fucking psychiatric ward for further examination because they obviously didnt do that enough when you dumb fucks were born. I hope this web page is taken off the web as quickly as it was put up.
–Sincerly,
ANNONYMOUS
Dear dumb ass folowers of FSMism
Published by Bobby Henderson October 30th, 2008 in Hate Mail (and concerned criticism). 565 Comments
565 Responses to “Dear dumb ass folowers of FSMism”
You seem to be basing some of your ideas around science there boy! Can to provide any scientific evidence that your “God” exists?
Saying there is a God is just as stupider claim as saying there is a flying spaghetti monster! Any evidence that there is a God? No… Any evidence that there is a flying spaghetti monster? NO!! Any evidence that there is an invisible purple elephant in the room? Also no…
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You realize that when you’ll die you will stand in front if His Noodliness and he will punish you with with his meat balls. You better convert to Pastafarianism or you’ll burn in THE spaghetti pan.
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Ok, so obviously this letter is just a ploy to make Christians look foolish.But, it’s still funny to see ignorance giving birth to more ignorance.
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The FSM makes no more sense than any other religion. And it is my humble opinion that none of them make much sense at all, so no religious person should give any other person of any other religion crap about his/her beliefs. But I’m just sayin.
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Hey I love this site. I think your version is as plausible as any religion I’ve ever encountered. Zeitgiest people
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Ok, you are the reason of our great and unquestionable religion
The FSM will take action over you and you’ll be under his power, but don’t be afraid, he is a great god, you’ll be spreading his word sooner than you expect =D
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“Theres is only one God and one Holy Word.”
- This is a little vague. I’le just presume you mean Zeus.
You tell us peacefull followers of the FSM, “I would probably beat you senseless.” And then go on to say, “somebody should lock you in a fucking psychiatric ward.”
So we should be locked up for praying to one of thousands of invisible diety’s, yet you should be free to walk around telling innocent people that you are going to “beat [them] senseless?” I can fell the love radiaring off you. Why does your God care who we worship? Why is he so jealous and insecure?
He is obviuosly jealous of the FSM’s superior set of balls.
RAmen
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my favorite is’beat senseless til normal’
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Pot, kettle, black, etc.
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i love this christian dude,
“Eh, lets make a new religion..and what the hell, our ‘god’ should be a clump of spaghetti. Oh, and it should have eyes and be able to fly. Lets bow down to it and see how many people follow suit!”
oh yes sorry pastafarian is a made up religion with no real basis on fact… unlike christianity of course which has been proven 2 be complet and utter fact and not simply a belief based on a book.
now lets chaange this quote a bit (i think pastafarians will like this one)
this is during the writing of the holy bible i might ad
“eh, lets make a new religion..and what the hell, our ‘god’ should be an overbearing, all seeing, all knowing and etternally judging superhuman-thing-enitity. oh, and it should have an opposite called hell and have strict moral values which kinda point out the obvious anyway, and if we dont follow these basic values we burn in hell for eternity.
Lets bow down to it and see how many people follow suit!”
thus started christianity
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Soooooo… There is only one holy word, huh? Which one is that? I tend to lean towards the word swiss. It actually goes with a holy cheese and so it’s easier to defend as the holy word. As for there being only one god, I’m really starting to wonder which religion you “practice,” as even christianity has the holy trinity. Please don’t send your imaginary sky friend after us, seeing as how that hasn’t done any good… ever… Anyhow, you may hate and loathe us, but I have to say, I like you. You have provided me with entertainment at your expense. For that, I thank you.
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Dear dumb ass gullible person. How does it feel to be a shown a mirror of your own beliefs? Even funnier so, how does it feel to be gullible enough to believe we are actually worshipping a flying spaghetti monster. How does it feel to look as silly as us? Only you are ACTUALLY serious when you say you believe in a Jesus zombie, from a fairy-tale written more than 2000 years ago. How does it feel to be a hypocrite? How does it feel to be a pastafarian? Fucking great!
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you show me your one god and ill show you the FSM.. FSM is an analogy to show how silly religion is in the first place. Cause you certainly can’t prove that religion is real as well as you cant prove the FSM.. so go fuck yourself
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Haha, illustrates the FSM point rather well this fellow…
ONWARD CHRISTIAN SOLDIERS……. lol.
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This guy is just mad. I am a Christian believer, but I understand what FSM is about. I know how it started and I agree with NOT teaching “intelligent design” because school is a place to learn how the world works. Even if I do not believe in evolution, that is what science has shown happened, so that is what a person needs to know to get by in the world.
And the guy getting upse3t by the pirate/global warming connection is just stupid. Most right wing nut job christians are denying global warming even exists. So I get the joke there. Tell the guy to loosen up.
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Internet Tough Guy.
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I’m rather glad that God may not exist, for if we really were “created in his image” then we would all be as dumb, and close minded as you. You are obviously not a devout Christian, cause their supposed to be peaceful, though you obviously are a REAL Christian, cause there as violent as Hell.
I am thinking this whole Pastafarian thing kinda WENT OVER YOUR HEAD a bit.
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Im seeing a whole lot of the christianity love deal hear
That was sarcasim by the way
i am an athiest but see the truth in the FSM it is actually more belivable than the holy babel
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how is a spaghetti monster and god different? you dumbass christian followers believe in an imaginary thing called “God”. At least we have images of our chosen one, the FSM.
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hahaha its funny what he said…because thats what the creators of christianity were probably saying when they invented their religion xDDD
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but instead of spagghetti they thought they should make him out of olf wrinkley skin and a beard and a robe…teehee
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I love how hypocritical this piece of crap mail was. According to his “God” he would be punished in hell to the greatest extent because of his violence and shit.
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haaaaah…that’s Christians for ya. and seriously, how old are YOU, that you don’t realize what this whole thing is really about.
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I find it amazing that these people don’t see this as satire. Obviously we really are worshipping a god made of noodles that touch us everyday to make sure we don’t fall off. I don’t need your god i have enough imaginary friends that tll me what to do already ;) I don’t see why these people (mostly christians) have to try to convert us. Do i look like i’m that much of a bad person that i need to be SAVED? Blah i hate these overzealous holier than thou assholes. I think FSMism is the way to go. I’m getting his noodly image tattooed next week. :)
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Mr. “ANNONYMOUS”, I think your spell checker is broken…
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That’s a very Christian post, believe the way I do, or I will kill you. (Anyone else remember a little thing called the Crusades?)
“Mr. Annonymous” I also have a friendly reminder for you. Does the bible not condemn swearing as you have? For your reading pleasure, sir:
9:With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God’s likeness. 10:Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers, this should not be. 11:Can both fresh water and salt[a] water flow from the same spring? James 3:9-11
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just ask yourself, “what would jesus do?” because i’m sure it wouldn’t be to call people, and i quote, “retard asses” and whine about the different lifestyle choices others choose. so take a good look at yourself in the mirror and really think about what you say before you say it. just as i’m sure your god would do in the same position.
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If it weren’t for his Noodly appendage, I would probably fly off the earth and into outer space. I fear that this poor soul may never truly know HIM, the only god. May he feel the Noodly touch.
Also, another good example of someone who does not understand their own religion. If you are going to believe in some inane false god like jesus, you might as well actually get your story straight. People spend their whole lives studying christianity (or christianism as some call it) and this dope probably picked it up in a denny’s bathroom stall.
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so we should what? bow down to “god”? the person/thing/whatever that sent his son to die? o.0 yeah, that’s inteligent… lets kill off our sons! there’s a religeon to follow! where as the FSM has never killed anyone nor asked us too…. the crusades? there’s a real christian thing to do!!!
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“I know there’s such a thing as freedom of speech and expression, but this kinda shit should be banned. Theres is only one God and one Holy Word. Why dont you people get that?”
What if I fell that there was only the FSM and your kinda shit should be banned? Oh yeah, I don’t because I actually accept the value of freedom of speech. You obviously do not understand since you were not touched by his noodly appendage.
“You are the kinds of people I dread to meet in public.”
But we are everywhere.
“If I were to ever have the displeasure of meeting your retarded ass, I would probably beat you senseless untill your stupid childish mind thought like a normal person”
Haha, hey that sounds like what they used to do in the Dark Ages, where “normal people” talk to invisible sky beings who made a flat world, but killed anyone who did not do the same. Nowadays we have secularism, bitch.
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Dear ANNONYMOUS,
I must admit, I continue to be amazed by the seemingly inexhaustible supply of people who are so ignorant as to not realize that this is satire. We at making fun of you! While believing in the Flying Spaghetti Monster would not be any more absurd than believing in talking snakes and demons, we do not actually believe it. Again, we are making fun of your unbelievable credulity!
Secondly, how incredibly childish it is for you to threaten violence against us, and yet you accuse us of acting like children. Let me be exquisitely clear on this point, there is no behavior that is more childish, more immature and, arguably, more morally reprehensible than to threaten violence against another person based on a trivial disagreement. You, sir, have proven in your remarks that you are extraordinarily immature; in fact, I would even go so far as to say that a person with the propensity for violence that you have demonstrated should be locked away in a psychiatric ward for mental observation, as they clearly did not do enough of this when you were born (prior to reading this person’s letter, I was unaware that infants could be evaluated for mental disorders).
Finally, I would like to pose a question. Why would the mere existence of people who believe different things about the metaphysics of the universe incite such a nasty response from you? Are you so insecure in your own faith that you must insist on others being like minded in order to validate your dogmas?
Sincerely,
Matt
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Whoops, somebody missed the point of the website…and the class on irony in high school…hahaha…very funny though! I want to follow the noodle now!
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Gee – I wish I could go around threatening folks with bodily harm like the “normal people”.
This guy “Anonymous” sure posts a lot. I wonder how he finds the time to come here between all of his beat downs in the name of the TRUE GOD. I guess his/her stellar intellect has brought me to the conclusion that, YES, I should follow the god who asks for human sacrifice and who came to earth only to be killed and became a zombie. Sounds good to me…
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I have been touched by HIM. Luckily HE doesn’t have any clergy so I am sure it was HE and not one of his representatives that touched me. I now celebrate fsmass and i would like to wish all a very merry fsmass and a happy new year. Please don’t be angry, it is a free country and freedom of religion is allowed, even perverted beliefs… like cristianity, mormonism, and zoroastrianism (no that isn’t for people who worship the masked man). Three elephants fell off a cliff. Two landed on the beach, one in the ocean… Da-duhn-tcheee.
Please Read Aloud:
Eye
Aim
Sofa
King
We
Todd
Dead
Thank you FSM.
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At last a serious religion! This is the faith I’ve been searching for all my life. I’m born again and I can only thank you for saving me from eternal damnation through worshipping that silly, old fashioned christian god. As for ‘annonymous’, he’s just typical of fundamentalist christians. Oh, and he should try using spell chocker. Hopefully heathens like him will die out and everyone can worship FSM with the same heart-felt joy as I do! As ‘annonymous’ would say… Hallejulah!
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-but this kinda shit should be banned. -
-I would probably beat you senseless untill your stupid childish mind thought like a normal person and believed in something that sounds correct-
-Damn you all to hell!!-
You, sir, are the kind of person that -IM- afraid to meet in public. I mean geez.
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dear dumbass poster,
There have been a lot of weird things that i have seen in my life before, but this tops them all. Do you really believe that there is/was such a thing as a invisible, all-powerfull being that created himself? Seriously, how fucking old are you? I know there’s such a thing as freedom of speech and expression, but this kinda shit should be banned. Theres is no God and no Holy Word. Why dont YOU people (christians etc) get that? How much sense does it make that God had to sacrifice his son, who was also himself, to himself to allow himself to change a rule that he himself had established to save us from himself sending us to Hell? Is that religion or some fifth grader trying to sound smart?
You are the kinds of people I dread to meet in public. If I were to ever have the displeasure of meeting YOUR retarded ass, I would probably beat you senseless untill your stupid childish mind thought like a normal person (i.e not believe in YOUR god) and believed in something that CAN BE PROVEN instead of just saying “Eh, lets make a new religion..and what the hell, our ‘god’ should be invisible. Oh, no one can prove he exists and he is the only god, regardless of muslims, hindus etc. Lets bow down to it and see how many people follow!”
Damn you to hell (which doesn’t exist btw)!! Better yet, somebody should lock you in a fucking psychiatric ward for further examination because they obviously didnt do that enough when you dumb fuck was born. I hope christianity and all religions are destroyed WAY faster than they were made. Except this one, it ACTUALLY MAKES SENSE. I expect a reply, ANONYMOUS
–Sincerly,
Michael
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Talking burning bushes.
One god with 3 personalities.
God allows his only son (who was the mother, again?) to be tortured and killed by the people who offended him in order to set things straight.
P.S. Touchy for an omnipotent being, isn’t he?
God wipes out all but a boatful of living things (Hey – were there 2 of every kind of PLANT on that suckin’ ark? Begonias can’t survive a 40 day drowning) and thinks WE offended him?
The battle for heaven between the good angels and Lucifer’s followers? Was God cheering on the sidelines with a bag of popcorn?
Yes, you have not only SEEN a lot of weird shit ANN – you still believe in them.
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I see that about 438 posts ago, Mr./Ms. ANNONYMOUS Troll came to our website, stirred-up the ant hill, jumped back, and we haven’t heard from ANNON since then. I’ve really enjoyed all of the posts; most of which have been well thought out, and relevant to the Rant. Although many of the posts have criticized the Cristians, let me assure you that any Authoritarian could have composed the Rant.
Pastafarians should all check-out: http://www.theauthoritarians.com .
It is about a university study of this type of person. It’s good. It’s free on line at that site. It shows why we get so frustrated trying to get these religiosos to think.
RAmen
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You know what’s funny or sad (for people in the future), that maybe all religions were created like this. First, it started as a joke, as a tale or legend, then the word was spread out. Of course, people like some retards here will believe this as true and will start following the FSM teachings. Then, we will have some massive nuclear catastrophe or a meteorite or something. A few people will be saved, maybe some people in recondite places in Africa or Asia, or much of Texas (you know, people with no much knowledge of anything) and some printouts with information about the FSM. Confused as they will be, people will start worshiping the FSM for real, and then voila!! a new religion was created.
Meanwhile, let’s worship the FSM!!!!
Happy Holidays everyone.
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These morons just make me sad. They honestly think that we are as dogmatic about the FSM as they are about their god… sad.
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See here’s the thing…while “Annonymous” wrote a close-minded, spiteful note to “Pastafarians” in general, I think the most insulting thing here is not his letter, as ignorance these days is not uncommon. The most insulting this is that this actually IS satire. I would have more respect for you all if you ACTUALLY BELIEVED this dogma. Instead, you are making fun of, well, from what I can tell, Christianity or maybe organized religions in general. Saying, in essence, that we are silly for believing…for having faith in God and the story of Creation. And while I don’t discount hard scientific proof, my faith has been there for me many times when science has fallen short (i.e. medical science). However, even in my strong faith, I know it is MY faith and belief system. Extremists out there who think their religion/belief system is somehow superior to anyone else’s, well…they deserve to be made fun of. As far as teaching it in schools, well I’d prefer it if EVERY religion was taught in schools so kids could be free to chose what belief system fit them best. Even if it’s NONE…like Atheists. SO…quit hiding behind the “oh it’s just satire” crap and quit slammin’ Annonymous for his/her justified outrage over being made fun of (albeit delivered rudely in the letter). At least own what you are doing here. Like my daughter always seems to say in a whiney voice when she’s mean to her sister…”but I didn’t DO anything…”. Spaghetti for thought.
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You all just got trolled ;3
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I think the letter is made up….
Are you so-called intelligent people really not above
picking on someone as retarded as the letter-writer( if this person in fact exists).
You do yourselves and other atheists no favors!
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You would beat me senseless? Go ahead punk. Make my day.
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@442
We’re mocking religions in general. Christians are the most fun, as you can see, because they’re the most stupid. Completely justified as they came to us first, and they don’t even know what satire is. I find your post quite patronising:
“And while I don’t discount hard scientific proof, my faith has been there for me many times when science has fallen short (i.e. medical science).”
What does this mean? Are you saying that sometimes you pray and your ill friends or family get better? Probability. Doesn’t the presence of these illnesses, viri, bacteria, mishaps in the replication of DNA contribute further to the accumulating evidence that there is no all-knowing, all-loving, perfect deity (boy did he screw up, unintelligent design or what?) and that instead evolution is the more likely candidate for explaining our existence? 911? Deformed babies? Cancer? What did these people do wrong? Where’s your god to prevent all this? Where did all that praying really get you? There are so many things we’d like answers to but each time you all just bugger off or sidestep the questions. Imagine the world if ID was taught alongside real science – eventually people would revert back to the superstitious stupidity of the Dark Age and sit back waiting for miracles for anything to be done. You should be grateful for the incredible feats medical science CAN achieve and think what the world would be like without it. Why not just rely on your god EVERY time somebody’s ill? It’s because you’re not that sure that he’s going to intervene after all. What you’ve done is to personify probability and buy into a bigger scam than the satire at this site. You appear foolish from our point of view, I’m sorry to say.
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you know, its interesting really that the way people talk about bad things and use language like that, it makes them look like that bad person. and the stuff they talk about isnt nearly as bad as the words they are using. ah, irony
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may he without sin cast the first stone
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This poor man merely hasn’t been enlightened by the touch of FSM’s noodly appendage
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For a Christian.
Your awfuly violent.
& who described spaghetti as a “clump”?
either way, i think yuor just picking on fsmism because it hast had the head start all the other religions have had. :D
Thank you and good night.
x
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