Dear dumb ass folowers of FSMism

Dear dumb ass folowers of FSMism,

There have been a lot of weird things that i have seen in my life before, but this tops them all. Do you really believe that there is/was such a thing as a flying spaghetti monster? Seriously, how fucking old are you? I know there’s such a thing as freedom of speech and expression, but this kinda shit should be banned. Theres is only one God and one Holy Word. Why dont you people get that? How much sense does it make to say that decreasing numbers of pirates lead to an increase in average global temperature? Is that science or some fifth grader trying to sound smart?

You are the kinds of people I dread to meet in public. If I were to ever have the displeasure of meeting your retarded ass, I would probably beat you senseless untill your stupid childish mind thought like a normal person and believed in something that sounds correct instead of just saying “Eh, lets make a new religion..and what the hell, our ‘god’ should be a clump of spaghetti. Oh, and it should have eyes and be able to fly. Lets bow down to it and see how many people follow suit!”

Damn you all to hell!! Better yet, somebody should lock you in a fucking psychiatric ward for further examination because they obviously didnt do that enough when you dumb fucks were born. I hope this web page is taken off the web as quickly as it was put up.

–Sincerly,
ANNONYMOUS

565 Responses to “Dear dumb ass folowers of FSMism”

Pages: « 12 3 4 5 6 7 [8] 9 10 11 12 » Show All

  1. 351 - matt - Nov 26th, 2008

    now lets just replace all the times he refers to FSM with the word … oh lets say …. God! and see how true this rings then. OH THE IRONY

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  2. 352 - iamthewalrus420 - Nov 27th, 2008

    whoever wrote this, check your own religion. You are just as ignorant and stupid as whomever came up with the flying spaghetti shit. “god’ is just as fictional and fake as a spaghetti monster and santa claus, the easter bunny, etc. so shut up fool.

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  3. 353 - amoozled - Nov 27th, 2008

    “I will beat you senseless, so you will believe in Jesus.”

    Well I guess that’s what it would take.

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  4. 354 - Jay - Nov 27th, 2008

    Dear dumbass letter author,

    It appears that you would fall very easily into the category of people that think genocide is only bad depending on what side of the gun you’re on. And as for your argument (completely unsupported) that there is only one god and one holy word, the only thing we would need to do to counterprove our argument with the same fervor, would be change one word.

    What’s really fucking funny is the fact that if we went through the bible and completely changed every “God” to “FSM”, you would probably go through and disprove the whole thing yourself.

    Now whos the fucking retard?

    Eat Pasta, fuck face!

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  5. 355 - Anon - Nov 27th, 2008

    Y’all’s postin’ in a troll thread.

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  6. 356 - David - Nov 27th, 2008

    obvious troll is obvious. Both religions are clearly a joke.

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  7. 357 - Darth Vader - Nov 27th, 2008

    Yes, Annonymous. Now release your anger and join me on the dark side.

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  8. 358 - Muhammed - Nov 27th, 2008

    Do you think that the Jihadists are going to come after this belief? I mean think about it, a FSM god? What would the jihadists do to you? I don’t even know where to start to think of the ways that you would be allah akbarred (sp?) ha ha

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  9. 359 - Flabbergasted - Nov 27th, 2008

    I HAVE SEEN IT ALL!

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  10. 360 - heatherhomicidal - Nov 27th, 2008

    oh come on! you can’t go on about the flying spaghetti monster and forget to mention the invisible pink unicorn!!!

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  11. 361 - jasen - Nov 27th, 2008

    Interesting site!! Truly amazed someone like this is still alive!! thumb up!!

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

  12. 362 - Paul - Nov 27th, 2008

    I thought he might have waited a bit longer to bring in the “one true god” bit, but he snuck it in there very quickly.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

  13. 363 - SBurch - Nov 28th, 2008

    (Additional negative response directed to annonymous)

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  14. 364 - giovanni - Nov 28th, 2008

    In some ways I have to agree with you … does sound a little nutty. but if, as you imply, you are “christian” … did you skip the part about “Judge not, and ye shall not be judged: condemn not, and ye shall not be condemned: forgive, and ye shall be forgiven:” Luke 6:37, “Judge not, that ye be not judged.” Matthew 7:1 … good, sound advise man .. and I’m not christian. Are these people hurting anyone? molesting kids? brainwashing? starting wars? Don’t you wish the “christians” were more like these “dumb ass”es?

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  15. 365 - Cass - Nov 28th, 2008

    I kind of agree with you that it’s silly to believe in a flying spaghetti monster. That whole thing started out to prove that, given enough “evidence”, anything could be made into a religion. However, it was pretty rude of you to say that there is only one way to believe. You have no idea if your religion is even the right path, if there is a heaven, or if there is a hell. Just because that’s what you grew up on doesn’t mean it’s true. It might be the right thing for YOU to believe in, but it doesn’t mean it’s right for everyone else. By the way, you should really read the website I have provided. It’s actually a really interesting take on this subject.

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  16. 366 - swami spaghettananda - Nov 28th, 2008

    This poor Christian has failed to realize that when the illusion of separateness is lifted, we are all the Flying Spaghetti Monster. His is a life beset by feelings of great hostility and isolation. Consequently, he feels threatened by what he doesn’t understand and is unable to appreciate a good joke. If he would simply be still, look inward, churn the marinara of his consciousness, he would realize the One Truth underlying all Creation and find peace, realizing that he and Flying Spaghetti Monster are one.

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  17. 367 - Alex - Nov 28th, 2008

    This makes me laugh a lot. This guy went out of his way to pick an argument with people smarter than him on the internet. He should just get back to doing what he was doing… Watching gay porn (not that there’s anything wrong with that)

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  18. 368 - Ez - Nov 29th, 2008

    I wonder if he realises that this is exactly the kind of crap that turns people away from Christianity. And why should this site be banned? If you find anything that contradicts what you believe, why on Earth did you come to the site *dumb ass*?! See that little X in the top right hand of the screen? Try clicking on it, and all the nasty people will go away, or just get back in your box, either’s fine with me.

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  19. 369 - Albert - Nov 29th, 2008

    That’s why it makes more sense to just be an atheist, quit bitching about something that can never even be proven to exist (EVER), and just live your life. I’m happier as an atheist than I’ve ever been when I was Catholic, which is also a boatload of mind controlling bullshit. Atheist are also known to be more rational and ethical than Christians. A christian would pray to some imaginary friend to magically make their excess weight go away while an atheist would take initiative and responsibility for themselves to exercise. A Christian would refuse to steal to avoid “eternal damnation” while an atheist wouldn’t steal because it’s just a dick thing to do

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  20. 370 - kevin otte - Nov 29th, 2008

    “Do you really believe that there is/was such a thing as an invisible zombie saviour in the sky?”

    “Eh, lets make a new religion..and what the hell, our ‘god’ should be a clump of spaghetti. Oh, and it should have eyes and be able to fly. Lets bow down to it and see how many people follow suit!”

    annonymous you are clearly brainwashed by whatever religion you have chosen to ignorantly follow. FSM is more satirical, but maybe your not bright enough to grasp that concept. And the fact that people created a religion out of thin air..man im sure glad that hasn’t happened in the past…oh wait that has happened. The fact is your not to bright and should probably take solace in the fact that there are millions of people just as stupid as you

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  21. 371 - Bob - Nov 29th, 2008

    I don’t believe that letter/email or however that message was sent is true. Surely, SURELY there is nobody out there stupid enough to miss the point that FSM is trying to make. I mean, an email like that is exactly the type of thing I’d write if I wanted to immitate a “Jesus Nazi” or whatever the term is.
    No, I refuse to believe this is genuine. It’s just too steroetypical to be true.

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  22. 372 - Jortmans - Nov 29th, 2008

    First of all:
    *sigh*, will cynicism and sarcasm ever be understood by you, my dimwitted friend at the other side of the pond. (I am assuming you are a citizen of the USA)
    Maybe you should try to compare the ontological and metaphysical claims the FSMism makes to the ones made by your holy christian church (whichever that one may be).
    Furthermore:
    To be honest, I dread to meet you in public aswell. Your fundamentalist violent ideas kind of put me of the idea of having a rational discussion with you.
    To conclude:
    I hope that your local church offers anger mangement classes. And if people like you go to heaven, I hope I’ll go to hell. To party with al the gays, sinners, prositutes, drunks, intellectuals (it does sound like a lot of fun down there).

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  23. 373 - mark zurbrügg - Nov 29th, 2008

    do not make up religions, i lol’d hard when i read this guy who obviously seems to be mentally a bit challenged for not noticing that everything he said about the FSM can be applied to every monotheistic religion.

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  24. 374 - Fool - Nov 29th, 2008

    Why do you assume you can beat me up?
    I challenge you to combat for the truth.
    I win the fight that means my god wanted me to win and your god is not real, and visa versa.

    This is how strongly I have “faith” in FSM he would never let me lose to a mislead heathen like you.

    Better yet lets start a war then us FSM followers will be taken more seriously.

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  25. 375 - Alby - Nov 29th, 2008

    What if God was the FSM?
    what would you guys have to say to that?
    you’ve never seen him yourself.
    the paintings people have drawn are pictures of a GUY.
    what if God was a cockroach?

    What if when you die, you actually see that God is the FSM? what will you do now?

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  26. 376 - Jul - Nov 29th, 2008

    Jesus is cool… it’s his followers that give me the creeps.

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  27. 377 - Preston the Apricot - Nov 29th, 2008

    “Eh, lets make a new religion..and what the hell, our ‘god’ should be a clump of spaghetti. Oh, and it should have eyes and be able to fly. Lets bow down to it and see how many people follow suit!”

    How the fuck do you think religions were made?

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  28. 378 - god damn your dumb - Nov 29th, 2008

    you are a retard just so you know .. the reason people say they believe in the flying spaghetti monster is to prove how dumb Christianity and other religions are .. so apparently they have succeeded. i am not saying that all religious people are dumb i am just saying that religious people like you are dumb .. so just go back to your redneck family and have fun being a dumbass

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  29. 379 - Andy - Nov 29th, 2008

    “somebody should lock you in a fucking psychiatric ward for further examination because they obviously didnt do that enough when you dumb fucks were born.”

    ummm… personal experience? Maybe if they did that to me I would believe in jesus too…

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  30. 380 - Andy - Nov 29th, 2008

    Dude… you are a retard… you have no concept of why the church of FSM was even created… *sigh*… It was to protest religious organizations… that was the whole point. People like you wanted to make your rediculous crap taught in schools. So this idea was thought up to protest the crap that you try to shovel at people like me. Shutup and go home. You just don’t get it… nor will you ever get it because you have been so blinded by the stupidity of your world.

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  31. 381 - wei - Nov 29th, 2008

    I hope somebody realizes that the letter is fake.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

  32. 382 - anonymous - Nov 29th, 2008

    well done anon i couldn’t have said it better myself

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  33. 383 - Courtney (the ex-christian) - Nov 29th, 2008

    Pssh. Haha. What Christian uses such foul language. Hmm. How strange. Oh well. Let people believe what they wanna believe. If they go to hell on your “judgemnent day” then to bad so sad for them. Not you. You’re not going to hell, they are.

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  34. 384 - Mike - Nov 30th, 2008

    You don’t get it. F.S.M. is not a serious religion. It’s a giant practical joke. It’s showing people that believing in a flying spaghetti monster is no more absurd than believing in a zombie jew, who heals people.

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  35. 385 - Jake_Loustone - Nov 30th, 2008

    It’s human nature to force believes on others.

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  36. 386 - Michael M. - Nov 30th, 2008

    This thread is a roller coaster ride.
    Amusing, chaotic, and at times makes the tummy feel a wee bit funny!
    (…go get ‘em, Pastafarians.)

    Michael M.,
    registered member, Church of Satan

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  37. 387 - Annonumous - Nov 30th, 2008

    This is my favorite part:

    …”I would probably beat you senseless untill your stupid childish mind thought like a normal person”…

    guess a normal person is senseless…
    Yeah, you’re a total tool.
    Do your thing and we’ll do ours. Have your Jesus and eat him too.

    Science bless you.

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  38. 388 - Mit - Nov 30th, 2008

    Oh my Brother, The FSM says that in Him/ She / It we are one and that we must combat hate with love and big honkin’ servings of saucy delightful pasta. “Eat of this for it is a lot( A whole lot ) like
    me.” Love is way of the Divine FSM.
    Me, on the other hand, think you’re an ignorant retard.

    I’m tryin, FSM, I really am.

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  39. 389 - brad - Nov 30th, 2008

    dude the church of the flying spaghetti monster is a parody on christianity people don’t actually believe in it… thats the point. thought it was obvious.

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  40. 390 - Anon - Nov 30th, 2008

    I lol’d

    Good troll, 8/10

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  41. 391 - Al - Nov 30th, 2008

    The point of FSM is that it doesn’t make any sense you fucking idiot. It’s saying that if creationism can be taught in schools then why not this, its making fun of Christianity no one truly believes in it you fucking retard wow you are dumb.

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  42. 392 - Travis - Nov 30th, 2008

    So let me get this straight, because your religion has a book that a bunch of random guys wrote, it’s right? You honestly think that the fact that moses talked to a BURNING BUSH is believiable? I’m sorry man, that sounds to me like an acid trip, a good one too. Just try to think outside your little world where everything makes sense and ask yourself those questions: WHY would someone feel the need to make a religion like FSM? Does MY religion seem just as obsurd to them? What is it that makes a religion believable? What is it that makes religion TRUE? Why do we feel the need to have a religion?

    And while I will not call you a ‘dumbass’ for the beliefs you hold, I would like to repectfully request that you leave your name if you’re going to insult us so angrily. Dick.

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  43. 393 - The Terrific Dancing meerkat, creator of All that is Absolutely Irrevelent - Nov 30th, 2008

    Please do not curse. It is vile and repulsive.

    While I am aware it is the anonymous internet and people can go under whatever name they like, you are represented as a person by what you put down here.

    While it’s true that some people have possibly been dissillusioned by this website and the sarcastic seriousness of its followers, can’t it be surmised that the same thing happened for Jesus’s religion?

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  44. 394 - Mlowerefookar - Nov 30th, 2008

    Your kind makes me terribly sad.

    I think that there are too few people in this world who even make an effort to leave the narrow band in which they are taught to think.

    This religion is made to offend. It is made to create a point; the fact that other religions offend just as much.

    Do you have proof your god exists? Do you have any kind of proof at all in your reality?

    I feel like crying. You don’t have any sense of humor at all.

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  45. 395 - Ryan - Nov 30th, 2008

    Let me start with saying that there are so many religions around the world and they all have gods but i don’t see you getting mad at them.

    The FSM is a deity. Christians believe in (god) and we believe in the FSM. You all believe god started the universe with his magical powers he got from nowhere and his body which came from nothing and his thoughts and personality which just appeared.

    I give you one example: http://www.profil3.com/pic/profil3_com-pic-52277-1.jpg

    Please think before you get angry at us. I don’t see you spamming a Jewish website or a Hindu website. Please think before you post.

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  46. 396 - Sarah - Nov 30th, 2008

    You my friend, are the dumbass. FSM is not to be take literally. It’s simply making a point, about the people who follow their religion with such blind faith and never take the time to step back and ask why. Think about it. FSM is an analogy of your God. You have no proof he’s there, so who knows, maybe he is just a big clump of spahghetti. It’s also pointing out silly things you read in the bible and choose to believe. They are exactly the same as the “decreasing numbers of pirates lead to an increase in average global temperature”. Before bashing a religion… maybe you should do a little research. Get a clue.

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  47. 397 - Dick Falcon Mancock - Dec 1st, 2008

    Oh man christians are just too cute. What a terrible shame I don’t have any as close friends!

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  48. 398 - lovingthisthread - Dec 1st, 2008

    When someone has to resort to violence to prove their superiority, THAT’s proof that (s)he doesn’t have a leg to stand on. I’m not an atheist (I’m somewhere between a Buddhist, a yogi and a pagan) and I believe all religions are teaching the same thing and that’s why FSM tickles me. WE ALL TELL THE SAME STORY! That’s a cause for celebration. We aren’t that different, are we. We all need the same things. We all want answers… and no one knows what it is. It could just as easily be FSM as Brahman or Allah or Yahweh or anything. It could be nothing. WE DON’T KNOW. That can either be terrifying or damn fun. I LOVE not knowing for sure. But that’s because I was taught to respect and learn everyone’s faith, to learn science… and not to accept anything blindly. I was taught that there is joy in learning and questioning. Life’s much richer that way. It’s wonderful to not be afraid of people and ideas just because I don’t understand them, because I know that by listening to and learning from them they aren’t so different from me. How horrible life is for this person. Everything this person encounters is suspect, everything is looking to undermine him/her and his/her faith. What a terrible way to live, under constant threat from shadows. No wonder this person wants a throwdown in Jesus’ name; (s)he’s powerless. Oy vey.

    I don’t have any contempt for this person. I just feel bad for him/her.

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  49. 399 - Izaak - Dec 1st, 2008

    lol. I really don’t know what else to say. this is the kind of person that seriously deserves a lobotomy. one of the reasons i don’t like religion (excluding FSMism) is due to the fact that nearly all conflicts are religion-related. I also agree with the apostle that someone who is that opinionated should have the balls to leave their name.

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  50. 400 - Cfergus - Dec 1st, 2008

    May I suggest that you have become victims of a new phenomenon called FSM baiting.

    FSM baiting involves impersonating a red-neck hick snake charming religious fanatic and writing the most obviously ignorant and hypocritical rant.

    The object is to inflame the smug self-satisfaction of the FSM believer and have him (or her, let’s not be sexist, or it, to cover all other eventualities)waste his time and 400 odd posts telling the moron how stupid he is. (yes, I am aware of the irony of adding a post, but it is in an attempt to stop the madness!) Won’t someone please think of the children!

    You see there is no moron, just a crack team of kamikaze Christians FSM baiting in the name of the Lord.

    The truth is out there. Look to the skis!

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An elaborate spoof on Intelligent Design, The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster is neither too elaborate nor too spoofy to succeed in nailing the fallacies of ID. It's even wackier than Jonathan Swift's suggestion that the Irish eat their children as a way to keep them from being a burden, and it may offend just as many people, but Henderson, described elsewhere as a 25-year-old "out-of-work physics major," puts satire to the same serious use that Swift did. Oh, yes, it is very funny. -- Scientific American




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