Dear dumb ass folowers of FSMism,
There have been a lot of weird things that i have seen in my life before, but this tops them all. Do you really believe that there is/was such a thing as a flying spaghetti monster? Seriously, how fucking old are you? I know there’s such a thing as freedom of speech and expression, but this kinda shit should be banned. Theres is only one God and one Holy Word. Why dont you people get that? How much sense does it make to say that decreasing numbers of pirates lead to an increase in average global temperature? Is that science or some fifth grader trying to sound smart?
You are the kinds of people I dread to meet in public. If I were to ever have the displeasure of meeting your retarded ass, I would probably beat you senseless untill your stupid childish mind thought like a normal person and believed in something that sounds correct instead of just saying “Eh, lets make a new religion..and what the hell, our ‘god’ should be a clump of spaghetti. Oh, and it should have eyes and be able to fly. Lets bow down to it and see how many people follow suit!”
Damn you all to hell!! Better yet, somebody should lock you in a fucking psychiatric ward for further examination because they obviously didnt do that enough when you dumb fucks were born. I hope this web page is taken off the web as quickly as it was put up.
–Sincerly,
ANNONYMOUS
Dear dumb ass folowers of FSMism
Published by Bobby Henderson October 30th, 2008 in Hate Mail (and concerned criticism). 565 Comments
565 Responses to “Dear dumb ass folowers of FSMism”
this guy created the spaghetti monster to prove religions are stupid. anyone can make one up
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Boy, the kid has a point there…
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As I read the initial hate letter, I was forced to laugh at the loss of irony on the part of the letter writer. I was forced to laugh at some of the responses as well.
The original writer is clearly a lunatic who cannot spell and has issues with grammar and punctuation. But what gets me is that a lot of the people responding to the original letter have equivalent problems with spelling, grammar and punctuation. Further, many people are quick to remind the original writer about the Christian ideals of forgiveness; because we all know how Christians have a history of forgiveness and religious tolerance. Tomas Torquemada (Grand Inquisitor of the Inquisition) was famous for his open-mindedness and toleration. Let’s not forget all of the tolerance surrounding the English Renaissance and the Reformation. How about all of the Christian love during the European (and Salem) witch hunts. There is the Christian compassion of Savaranola, who damned Lorenzo de Medici to hell on Medici’s deathbed. Emperors Justinian, and Constantine are excellent examples of Christian love and forgiveness (although Constantine has an excuse). And, I have not mentioned, of course, the long list of Saints who have killed in the name of their belief.
Just because people read the “One Holy Word” does not mean they follow it. (I am still wondering what that word is. I think it may be “Kleenex.”) I don’t think anyone need be surprised at the original poster’s intolerance. I am more appalled at his lack of grammatical skills and his lack of a relevant argument. (Thus proving the pirate/GW parody all the more relevant.) He is espousing the same hate rhetoric that Western society has been listening to for the past 2000 years.
I feel sorry for the poor bastard, Annonymous. He is a pathetic example of the the whole reason why we need Pastafarians.
The whole open letter was a refreshing and fun to read when I first read it 3 years ago. I still read it because I find it amusing. But, I would like to remind that where the letter points out the obvious, the obtuse will never get it. Annonymous is obviously that obtuse. Arguing with someone like Annonymous is like arguing with my dog. He has even made it apparent that he does not care about anyone else’s opinions. He has no idea what the First Ammendment is about, he knows nothing about his religion or its history and he is intentionally belligerent. He is incapable of advanced thought and does not understand the concept that both science and religion can co-exist.
Come to think of it, there is a lot of intolerance amongst the scientific community concerning religion. That is, for many, science is a new religion and belief systems should be disregarded. Tolerance begins in our own metaphorical hearts. Being tolerant towards idiots who wish to see others locked up because of an alternative belief system is what JC was talking about when he mentioned “turning the other cheek.”
But I would love to know what this guy thinks about the idea that JC was a terrorist who went into a temple, knocked over the tables and disrupted the exchange in order to fight the system. Further, JC had been planning that act of terrorism for years before enacting it. For proof, I refer to the book of Mark.
At least Jeebus didn’t destroy any temples.
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What’s so funny is he doesn’t realize what hes saying. He doesn’t understand what the flying spaghetti monster is about. And he is just threatened by the fact that his god probably isn’t real, so he has to get very defensive by cursing and telling people to go to hell because that’s EXACTLY what jesus would do (WJWD?)he thinks his hateful words are going to do something. If you do read this dipshit FSM is the irony behind your dumbass religion and how far fetched the bible is. come on now lets take our asses out of our heads and think logically here. Unfortunately our country has 97% of Christians , now that’s just sad.
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the thing about you is that you’ll laugh in the face of all the other religions and call them fake, yet you’ll take offense to anyone who calls yours fake. Although pastafarianism is a joke in my opinion, the fact that you believe yours is perfectly correct is just blatently ignorant
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SACRILEGE!
I bet NONE of you are wearing your pirate regalia. Please refrain from sharing FSM out of uniform.
Yarr
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Hey you dumb fuck. What you dont realize is that it doesnt matter what figgure a religion uses to represent moral values and whether or not god really exists or not. The fact of the matter is there are certain things that all people should see as right and wrong and apparently religion has done absolutely nothing for you b.c here you are promoting violence. I dont understand y everyone has yo always be focused on the history and physicality of religion and cant just realize the overall message that is being delivered.
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Did this person once claim to be a Christian? ….So why the blatant ant-Christian rhetoric?
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Dear Cristozombie,
You picked the wrong god and now you are doomed. DOOMED I say!
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I see no point in worshipping any god, seeing as there is no evidence of them actualy existing.
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Wowza.
…do you realize, Mr. Annonymous, that you’re the only one here taking FSM seriously? No wonder Christianity became so popular…gullible nincompoops..
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Wowza.
Do you realize, Mr. Annonymous, that you’re the only one here taking FSM seriously? No wonder Christianity became so popular…gullible nincompoops..
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I loved ANNONYMOUS’s angry letter! It said so much more for our side than we ever could have accomplished on our own!
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I love the line “I would probably beat you senseless untill[sic] your stupid[sic] childish mind thought like a normal person and believed in something that sounds correct”. If you beat people, normally they do not gain intelligence. Therefore beating us until we think like normal people is his/her way of saying that we are more intelligent. The part “sounds correct” also admits that this person doesn’t necessarily believe that he/she is correct; just that his or her religion sounds good.
“Oh, and it should have eyes…”
All the better to see you with.
“…and be able to fly.”
All the better to go over your head with.
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Don’t you just love it when the opposition makes your point for you?
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ITC: Trolled. Trolled, and Trolled again.
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alright listen. i agree that a flying spaghetti monster is just ridiculous, but saying “Theres is only one God and one Holy Word.” is also bullshit to say. you have absolutely NO proof of the existence of your god, making your god no more real than anyone else’s god, regardless of what the god teaches or stands for. and proof of your god is not a spiritual happening or anything that you percieve as an encounter with god. there is no real true evidence of a god anywhere in any religion. me, i’m an atheist. but i’m not going to tell you i’m right and you’re wrong because neither of us have any proof of what we believe in. fuck you and your ignorant bullshit. fuck FSMism for its ridiculous and obviously made up childish religion, and fuck any immature fuck who actually believes in it. overall, don’t say anyone is more right than anyone else, because no, you can’t prove it.
also, cunt, folowers is spelled followers, and annonymous is spelled anonymous.
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All i have to say is: read about the greek gods, your god, and any other deity and you’ll see no difference, it’s all an imaginary excuse for illogical actions and ways to understand the ways things are made, and is as out dated as the stone and sling. (by the way, the flying spaghetti monster was created to show how retarded the idea of an imaginary man in the sky actually is…)
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i have no idea what your religion is or what it’s about but it sounds okay. Pastafarianism sounds awesome. and if people can believe there is a god or Jesus Christ who will let you into heaven or damn you to hell if you don’t follow his rules for life, then why can’t there be some sort of pasta god? let people believe and worship how they cosse to and see fit. if christianity is your personal choice, it’s just that-a personal choice, and everybody is entitled to one. no one person is wrong in their faith and we are all right in our own way i suppose.
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this made me laugh so hard
it just goes to show how ignorant and intolerant people can be
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“only one God and one Holy Word”
Why don’t you get that the more this kind of “irrefutable argument winner” comes out, the better we feel about ourselves….
Ramen
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If these people can’t understand his holy noodleness then why to they insist on coming on here and polluting this once fine area of love and worship with there hate.
RAmen
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@cornelious #317
Be nice. No one here has insulted you on a personal level, so there’s no need to insult us personally. If you want to dump on our religion, go ahead and post your own hate mail message and prepare to be slapped. (Please read the Open Letter first.) If you want to be a one schmuck fire brigade and pee on xianity, go to a xian site and pee away. If you persist in being just plain impolite, I’ll tell your mother, and she’ll wash your mouth out with soap.
RAmen
ET
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smells like teen spirit, tastes like troll.
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The entire New Testament was lifted almost wholesale from Egyptian writings which predate christianity by thousands of years. The myth of the god-man born of a virgin on Dec 25 who died and was reborn three days later existed in dozens of pre-christian religions. Try wwwdotzeitgeistdotcom and wwwtruthbeknowndotcom for starters. Christianity is an astrologically-based religion.
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PS: I reject any god who is so insecure that he or she needs to have people ‘worship’ him or her. Do you really think god wants a bunch of people groveling and saying things like: “Oh, god, you’re so cool! I love only you and I owe everything to you, yadayadayada.”?
I suspect that god wants to see spiritual fruits, not religious nuts.
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What is your problem? cut the coffee and chill the hell out. Leave one be what one wants at his own risk. Narrow-minded ignorant (and I am a christian to in case you want to swear a pastafarian. )
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Wow. Just wow.
This guy needs to learn how to take a joke. This site wasn’t made to insult Christians, or anyone else of any religion. It’s just a satire, and friends connected through a funny idea fooling around.
And another thing, if there’s only one holy word, then why are there over 100 RELIGIONS?!
Oh and by the way…
Way to spell your alias right. XD lol
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Ok, so as much as I don’t believe with the guy who wrote that this is all made up, how are you guys ignoring the fact that it is made up. I am not religious in anyway shape or form or spirit, and yet I understand that people need a faith to believe in. I get the point that the cult behind FSM is trying to make. However, just as the rant about how FSM is all fake makes Christians everywhere sound retarded, the comments you guys make are just as bad. That very annoyance with one group and the wholly worship to your own beliefs is what you guys are arguing against. It is this kind of mentality on both sides that cause the joke behind religion in the first place.
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wow i see the light……..wait no never mind…
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HA i am neither a christian now a “Noodler” or whatever but if i had to chose a divine side right now for my soul based solely on redneck knuckle cracker GodBoy’spost or the FSMers who posted… all bow down to his noodlieness!!
Godboy you lost me at “Do you really believe that there is/was such a thing as a flying spaghetti monster? Seriously, how fucking old are you?” Do you really believe in a white cloaked man sitting in the sky looking down at us like we’re his playmobile? Also, the followers of FSM seem to be infinitely better at conveying intelligible and mature thought then you seem to be; (in caveman-esque impersonation, “I would probably beat you senseless”.
Kudos. Godboy… Kudos…
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“You are the kinds of people I dread to meet in public. If I were to ever have the displeasure of meeting your retarded ass, I would probably beat you senseless untill your stupid childish mind thought like a normal person and believed in something that sounds correct instead of just saying “Eh, lets make a new religion..and what the hell, our ‘god’ should be a clump of spaghetti. Oh, and it should have eyes and be able to fly. Lets bow down to it and see how many people follow suit!”
If I’m not mistaken, this is pretty much how Christianity started.
I really enjoyed this line
“I would probably beat you senseless untill your stupid childish mind thought like a normal person and believed in something that sounds correct”
quite the follower.
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I know it’s not the hip thing to admit anymore, but I’m a Christian. Not here to preach or convert anyone–although I am taking donations. I
See, I also have a sense of humor. I think FSM is hilarious. The letter that started this thread was someone else trying to be funny. I give them about a D+. Just keep trying, sunshine, sooner or later you might say something funny. FSM gets an A.
BTW, I know some hardliners may want to come up after me and mock me for my faith or whatever; don’t bother. I’m not mocking yours. Live and let live. I’m not taking responsibility for all the wrong in the history of the world that is blamed on religion, and I’m not blaming any of you for any of the violence because of communism.
If real life was like the internet, we would all have a hundred anonymous strangers following us around and nitpicking to death everything we say and do. God Bless America.
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FSM rules…
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this man is attacking all we hold sacred. we should nail him to a cross for it
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There is no God! ! ! This argue makes me wanna puke… get a life christians
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Erm, this is a piss-take, right:-)
I’m not rising to the bait. No-one could actually be that stupid.
You guys made it up – go on admit it.
A straw doll for equally stupid people to flame.
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haha the irony kills me…
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“there is only one god and one holy word”…
if that’s true, then you’re openly admitting that you have the same god as muslims and hindus.
wait… wait a minute… are you a terrorist?
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ps,
RAMEN!
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Maybe the “about” tab only appears on the screen if you’re already a pastafarian. That would go a long way to explaining posts like #337. Unless people are just incredibly stupid.
RAmen
ET
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OMG too funny- My Papa was a minister and my mother rebelled against him when I was little and therefor I was brought up believing religion was bed. Funny enough, I begged to go to Sunday School when I was a little bit older and was eventually allowed. What I have learned is that there are some really good lessons in most religions and some really bad ones. I personally have chosen to believe in myself and my family and try to simply be a good person, taking in things I have learned over time from different religions. I guess we’ll see where I end up in my after life when I get there. If I had to pick a religion to openly believe in I would 100% bow down to his noodlieness. Thank you Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. Do I really believe there is a Flying Spaghetti Monster??? What a stupid question… haha
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what the hell are you blabbering about . this is a joke nothing more a parody on Christianity and all people mad at it should go to hell.
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oldestgenxer Says:
I know it’s not the hip thing to admit anymore, but I’m a Christian.
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OK
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Not here to preach or convert anyone–BTW
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Great
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, I know some hardliners may want to come up after me and mock me for my faith or whatever; don’t bother. I’m not mocking yours. Live and let live.
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Not me, live and let live is exactly what I want too. You believe in jesus? fine with me, as is believeing in zeus, FSM or cookie-monster. Just don’t pester others with it.
Thank you for showing that there ARE christians around who are also decent people. Just one thing: communism has NOTHING to do with atheism. One does not follow the other.
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Christians say the darnedest fucking things.
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someone needs prozac real bad
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A truism comes to mind here. Anonymity + free speech = dickhead. With that said, I think the whole FSM thing is an IQ point short of retarded. I was a point shy when Dawkins made it up and it is a point shy now. At least the self deluded Christians have some sort of history and culture behind all their nonsense.
Furthermore this FSM thing is 2 steps back in the fight against religion, when every step forward is hard enough. So stop @#$%ing helping! Religious people don’t have any sense of irony or humor when it comes to these things. Besides all of that, as if that were not enough, the idea of God is not the enemy. RELIGION is the enemy. God is just a concept, religion is what kills people and warps the mind.
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…..
i have no words
XD
>/
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Dear dumb ass letter writer:
“FSMism” or Pastafarianism is meant as satire to prove how stupid it sounds to believe in something you can’t see/hear/taste/smell/touch/feel simply because someone and a book say it’s there. Please gain an education.
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how you described the creation of the FSM at the end of paragraph 2 sounds a lot like the creation of Jesus. a bunch of weirdos 2000 years ago saying, hey lets believe in this guy who can walk on water, and…oh! he can turn water into wine too, that would be cool! i cant believe so many people still believe what some person wrote thousands of years ago and live their lives according to it…
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