Dear dumb ass folowers of FSMism,
There have been a lot of weird things that i have seen in my life before, but this tops them all. Do you really believe that there is/was such a thing as a flying spaghetti monster? Seriously, how fucking old are you? I know there’s such a thing as freedom of speech and expression, but this kinda shit should be banned. Theres is only one God and one Holy Word. Why dont you people get that? How much sense does it make to say that decreasing numbers of pirates lead to an increase in average global temperature? Is that science or some fifth grader trying to sound smart?
You are the kinds of people I dread to meet in public. If I were to ever have the displeasure of meeting your retarded ass, I would probably beat you senseless untill your stupid childish mind thought like a normal person and believed in something that sounds correct instead of just saying “Eh, lets make a new religion..and what the hell, our ‘god’ should be a clump of spaghetti. Oh, and it should have eyes and be able to fly. Lets bow down to it and see how many people follow suit!”
Damn you all to hell!! Better yet, somebody should lock you in a fucking psychiatric ward for further examination because they obviously didnt do that enough when you dumb fucks were born. I hope this web page is taken off the web as quickly as it was put up.
–Sincerly,
ANNONYMOUS
Dear dumb ass folowers of FSMism
Published by Bobby Henderson October 30th, 2008 in Hate Mail (and concerned criticism). 565 Comments
565 Responses to “Dear dumb ass folowers of FSMism”
Are you fucking kidding me? The idea of the Flying Spaghetti Monster is just as rational as Jesus, Buddha, Allah, or any other type of God from any other religion. Quit being so fucking close-minded.
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I feel as though you skipped a very important process in publishing any kind of article, or comment for that matter, and that, my friend, was the proof-reading portion. I can’t take you seriously for multiple reasons. The biggest reason being the obvious literacy problem you possess. I don’t pretend to be any kind of genius, but I can spell, and what I can’t spell, I look up. Checking your work can be helpful in many ways, mostly, to make sure you don’t publish something and consequently end up looking like a complete tool because you spelt something as simple as “Followers” incorrectly.
Secondly, nobody really believes in the FSM; It is simply something we can use to piss people like you off. It’s really to extend to you, and your friends alike, a giant bitch slap, and a kind reminder that FSM is just as realistic as your God.
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Apparently you fail to understand the meaning of the word “parody.” Look it up. Then tell me you think the followers of the Flying Spaghetti Monster really believe that stuff.
Actually, I’ll look it up for you.
par-o-dy (n)
any humorous, satirical, or burlesque imitation, as of a person, event, etc.
The Flying Spaghetti Monster religion is a parody religion, designed to show people just how idiotic the entire concept of religion really is. Explain to me how it is more logical to believe that a man who lived 2000 years ago did magic than it is to believe in atmospheric temperature-changing pirates. It isn’t more logical; they’re both extremely stupid. The followers of the FSM understand that, and it’s no surprise that people like you don’t.
The Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster was formed in 2005 by Bobby Henderson to protest the decision by the Kansas State Board of Education requiring that intelligent design be taught in school classrooms alongside evolution. If you actually did your research, which I am completely unsurprised to find that you didn’t, you would know these things. But like any other person who completely ignores all reason and fact, you just pull facts out of your ass.
Pastafarians (people who “believe” in the Flying Spaghetti Monster) believe that that the lack of pirates is causing global warming. This is, of course, false, as the graph showing this correlation is very obviously flawed in that it lists 35000, then 45000, then 20000 on the x-axis to show the increase in global average temperature. This flaw has a purpose: to show that intelligent design argument must misrepresent data to have any chance of saying something scientific-sounding.
So do us all a favor and pull your head out of your ass.
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Someone should teach you how to use a apostrophe.
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Case and point.
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there is no suck thing as god, amen.
p.s. christianity is a bunch of fucking bullshit, i’d believe in a FSM more then “god” or some jesus guy who was never alive in the first place.
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AAArrrgh, me matey, ’tis time you accept the fact that “bow down to it and see how many people follow suit” IS EXACTLY THE POINT! His noodly power and his woly hord grows every day. Maybe if your God offered ecclesiastical discounts instead of eternal damnation, you would have more people joining YOUR church. I suppose being one of the chosen can be a lonely business sometimes. Pirates, on the other hand, never seem to lack for companionship. WE ARE EVERYWHERE!
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Ok, let’s just use some logic here. If there is a god, he/she/it would obviously love us..it’s creations and want us to be happy, and seriously, what makes anyone more happy than spaghetti?
Only commies don’t like spaghetti, so you sir, I think are a commie. I bet your God looks exactly like Stalin, you Gorbachev hating sputnik launching bastard! Back off Boris!
I’ll be turning you over to the authorities for possible commie activities.
We kicked your ass in Rocky IV and we’ll do it again! We kill in the name of our savior, the mighty exalted noodley one. Accept the noodle and live in bliss for eternity or perish in pasta-less hell like the wretched commie heathen that you are!
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FSM..Oh, I get it…a new church where you can eat your god?
cool
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All right! Finally, one obnoxiously hateful religionist to rule them all! Intolerance makes the world go round! This guy was right on the money!
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You know, after reading this post I did realize that worshiping his Noodliness is far more inane than bowing down to an omnipotent, omniscient, omnibenevolent being that nobody has ever seen or contacted! It all makes sense now.
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Let’s see here…
beat me senseless…until I think normally.
…
wat?
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obvious troll is obvious.
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lol thats a made up god from south park its a tv show ur an idiot take a joke fag
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Yeah sure . . .
look at things this way. At communion you christo-fascists only get a bread crumb and grape juice. Here at FSM, we get spaghetti and 2 meatballs with a quarter-liter of red wine, and garlic bread . . . not to mention a tomato sauce to die for.
Take that . . . ill-nourished cur.
bipolar2
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I guess he didn’t get the memo.
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Dear Sir (or Madam),
You perpetuate the ill-concieved notion that Christians are intolerant morons who cannot accept anyone’s beliefs. We have a spaghetti monster; you have a santa claus-esque, seventy-million something, prozac’d, vengeful, bipolar moron who, in his benevolence and mercy, is controversially responsible for some of the most monstrous scourges ever to plague (literally) the earth. As a practicing Christian, you insult me as well as anyone who a) has a mild sense of humor, and b) has any religious beliefs whatsoever. It is people like you, pious, Bible-clutching, intolerant hellspawn, who make religion, politics, and life in general, more obnoxious.
Please: This is your opinion. I can respect that. If, however, you expect to be able to post a rant about a now-legitimate religious sect with followers that rival zapatistas in their ferocity, understand that it comes with a backlash, and makes you look like some kind of flaming ‘tard, for lack of a better term.
Cheers,
Gordon, CA
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Stop worrying about what the rest of us are doing and pick up a grammar school English book. People like us would probably take you a little more seriously if you’re web tirade wasn’t full of spelling and punctuation errors. Just a suggestion.
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I’m a big, tough man. I can yell insults and threats through the safety of web anonymity.
Oogah boogah boogah
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Being Christian this mail makes me sick. This person needs to shut his or her mouth and learn somethings. Just cause you dont agree with someone else’s postion doesnt mean you get to foul mouth them. Plus they shouldnt be breaking down people. Thats no way to try and win someone over. This mail makes me sick. I apologize for those that claim to be Christian and do dumbness like this. IF you want to talk to a decent human being that is intelligent about he believes in I am open to talk. Dont make the same mistake that this fool makes and lump all Christians in one intellectually challenged bin.
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hmm.
it seems to me that the FSM is equally as plausible as God.
Whos to say that an FSM didnt kick start the universe?
Hell, I’d actually make the argument that a FSM could proove several theological claims better then an Abrahamic God could any day.
The flying spaghetti monster solves the problem of evil.
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I Lol’d.
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This is to be filed under ‘People who don’t get it.’
’nuff said
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I am SO glad I’m not you.
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Believer (#197) “Obviously this moron does not represent the true Christian in any way. A Nazi at best, but to assume and then attack this idiot and insulting all Christians show an incredible amount of insensitivity and how equally self-centered you’re all being.”
I agree with that in part, a lot of the responses to the hate mail can be insensitive to christians. However, most of the hate mailers describe themselves as christian. Is it a surprise we describe them as such when coming back at them? Christian is a word that covers many denominations, beliefs and practices. When it’s used here, it most likely refers to the fundamentalist Christians who post the hate mail. If you don’t like being associated with them, keep fighting back against them and reclaim the word or tell us what denomination/type of christian you are.
“Christianity is a religion and as such does require faith but all must admit there is at least some evidence that it is true.” There I respectfully disagree, I’ve seen nothing I’d consider evidence rather than dogma.
jmfoltz (#220) “Being Christian this mail makes me sick. This person needs to shut his or her mouth and learn somethings.” “Dont make the same mistake that this fool makes and lump all Christians in one intellectually challenged bin.”
Keep talking like that and reclaim the name from the extremists.
Anyway, my thanks to both for contributing and reminding me that not all christians are fundamentalist monsters.
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BEST. TROLL. EVER.
This made me laugh so much… thanks Anonny!
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Hey dipshits, this is obviously a plant.
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Clearly, Mr/Ms Too Fucking Scared to Post Your Name, your small rapidly decaying brain can’t comprehend comparisons and abstract concepts. You’re too fucking stupid to realize that your belief sounds just as absurd to FSM believers as theirs does to you. That’s the point, you misfired cum shot.
Before you dismiss people that believe in FSM, take a second at YOUR dogma. You believe in an invisible man that lives in the sky that zaps shit into creation like the genie from Aladdin, you believe the world is 12,000 years old, you believe that dinosaurs didn’t really exist, you believe in a boogie man that lives under the ground that is responsible for all the bad things in the world, and you believe in magical beings with wings that follow you around. You believe in talking snakes, men walking on water and zombies. Face it, your religion is fucking stupid.
Jesus was not the son of God, there is no God, heaven or hell. You’re all alone and you always will be. What gives me comfort is that your hate-filled mind won’t realize that you’re going to fade into darkness forever until the moment you’re dying and no God shows up to rescue you. That will be the last thought you have in life, and given your disposition, you will probably be really angry about it. It’s a shame really, that your last moments will be spent in total rage and misery. Good journey and congratulations, you are the poster child for contraceptives. Your parents wish you had been a facial.
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How is a spaghetti monster any more ridiculous than an invisible man in the sky who gets mad at you when you masturbate?
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I would like to apply for membership in the fsms church. Will I be required to give up my membership in the “flat earth society”? I hope you will accept me because I already named my first born son “Flying Speggiti Monster”. I will look very silly to my family if you reject me. Please allow me into your religon. Thanx, Christ
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Wow, what an ignoramus… I’m sorry, but some people should not have been let out of a psych ward to prevent them being a threat to normal humanity. It’s people like that who i would not want to meet in public, as they feel that violence is the way to get their view across…
Oh, and @whoever-said-that you never get hate-mail from real christians, that’s probably due to the fact that we’re not really into the hating, more the loving, so you’re highly unlikely to find any hate-mail :P
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Weeell, the reason FSM is slightly less plausible than God is ‘cos, due to the fact that you’re not supposed to be able to see God, you can’t, but FSM’s supposed to be visible, yes? Just one point, i’m sure you can fire several more back at me going the other way, but that seems to be the most scientific (Y)
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Obvious troll is obvious.
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I don’t understand why people have to put other people down just because their beliefs and values aren’t the same… This comment isn’t restricted to any religion (or lack of).
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Fake hatemail. Seen it all before.
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I can sort of see the idea behind most religious doctrines, but seriously, what does the biblical jesus-zombie have against spell-checkers?
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Eh huurm. Well, How old are you? spelling “followers” incorrectly, and, well… using childish slang such as: “kinda” I’m shocked you’d take the time to post such a racist opinion. Saying there is only one God and one Holy Word. I feel as if we’ve found ourselves another Hitler in the making. Finally if you were actually older than 13 you’d be MUCH more polite and sincere about anything, I never knew a child who seems to be religious wouldn’t be open to the concept of multiple religions, and wouldn’t swear so much. Thank you. FuckTard Anonymous. :D
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If people can believe in something as ridiculous as Creationism then why can’t people believe in Spaghetti Monsters.
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Well, he does have one thing right. It does take a considerable amount of brain damage to make any of us follow this guy’s god! He would have to beat us senseless… LITERALLY!
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You missed the point of fsmism its to make fun of idiots like you who believe in stupid religions like christianity, dumbass
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Wow… THAT IS AWESOME!!! I’m very impressed at how much fervor that one put into his/her little speech there!
It saddens me though how we are must endure this objection to freedom of speech as if we will just cast our Noodliness aside because he yelled at us. Are we children? Maybe… but according to my license I am still an American adult and as such have right to whatever religion, work, and above all voice, that I so choose.
Does the Declaration of Independence not say, “We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal,”(even though this man/woman clearly doesn’t think so.) “that they are endowed by their Creator”(their, meaning a person can choose who created them!) “with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.”
Anyone can pursue happiness, although not guaranteed. You make your own happiness and if Mr./Mrs. Annonymous would like to get a cup of coffee and just talk about sports or baking or anything that would cause them to be happy instead of the anger that is cause by being a religious zealot, I would be more than happy to oblige.
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Lol how come nobody is laughing? I may have missed something but either both this site and that guy above (”dear dumb ass followers of fsmism…”) are a joke or just this site is a joke and that guy is actually SERIOUS (if he is, he has to be like 10, I think) and offended, then he should be laughed at, right? Well, he should be laughed at anyway, but still.
You know, I usually feel so bad for all the honest, good natured people of religious beliefs who don’t try to convert people, but have to suffer through atheistic slander… and then you have guys like that who make true, honest, healthy spiritual life a complete hypocritical joke… its really quite pathetic.
…At least not all those religious are as ridiculous, thank god (or whoever)…
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Hooray for intolerance. ^o^
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Dude, whatever.
The FSM is x10000000000 times more believable then the whole Jesus thing.
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Plus the FSM tastes way better then those shitty crackers you get in church.
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Dear Author of – Dear dumb ass folowers of FSMism,
^^^^^^^
Spelling!?
First and foremost,
Thank you for your keen insight into our religion. Do you have the same hatred for those that believe in other gods, Buddha, Allah, or any of the other roughly 2500 deities in existence?
What offshoot of Christianity do you belong too that advocates violence to put over your religious view. Where is it written that your religion is “The” religion?
What sets us Pastafarians apart from other religions and religious zealots, like yourself, is that we don’t care if you “get it”. If you don’t, then we really do not want you at our table…..if you do…great. Welcome aboard….
I leave this with you Cletus…. I would not raise a hand or voice to shove religion down anyones throat…but god I hope I am the one dude you get to run across on your anti-FSM tour.
May you be touched by his noodley appendage and finally know peace.
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LOL!!
…Oh wait, you’re not joking are you? You really don’t get it.
Substitute “Christianity” every time you write “FSM” and maybe you’ll get it. Maybe. Good luck.
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May the FSM touch you with his noodley appendage
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i dont follow either religion cause im an atheist but people saying there is a spaghetti god is no different or crazier than saying there is a god at all. if anyone actually finds solid proof,other than the bible written by some guys, that there is truly any god, tell me. my email is kk1691_21@hotmail.com
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Someone has entirely missed the point. :)
My favourite line:
“I would probably beat you senseless untill your stupid childish mind thought like a normal person and believed in something that sounds correct ”
Oh the irony. :)
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