Dear dumb ass folowers of FSMism,
There have been a lot of weird things that i have seen in my life before, but this tops them all. Do you really believe that there is/was such a thing as a flying spaghetti monster? Seriously, how fucking old are you? I know there’s such a thing as freedom of speech and expression, but this kinda shit should be banned. Theres is only one God and one Holy Word. Why dont you people get that? How much sense does it make to say that decreasing numbers of pirates lead to an increase in average global temperature? Is that science or some fifth grader trying to sound smart?
You are the kinds of people I dread to meet in public. If I were to ever have the displeasure of meeting your retarded ass, I would probably beat you senseless untill your stupid childish mind thought like a normal person and believed in something that sounds correct instead of just saying “Eh, lets make a new religion..and what the hell, our ‘god’ should be a clump of spaghetti. Oh, and it should have eyes and be able to fly. Lets bow down to it and see how many people follow suit!”
Damn you all to hell!! Better yet, somebody should lock you in a fucking psychiatric ward for further examination because they obviously didnt do that enough when you dumb fucks were born. I hope this web page is taken off the web as quickly as it was put up.
–Sincerly,
ANNONYMOUS
Dear dumb ass folowers of FSMism
Published by Bobby Henderson October 30th, 2008 in Hate Mail (and concerned criticism). 565 Comments
565 Responses to “Dear dumb ass folowers of FSMism”
wow i agree 100% with this hate mail lmao fsm is a joke how in the hell does a fsm make people?????? meatballs with pasta and eyes = wtf?!
JESUS PREVAILS!
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Yes, cosmic jewish zombie who’s body is made of bread and who’s veins flow with wine prevails.
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raglle – you say FSM is a joke? Now you get it!
The difference? We’re a joke who hasn’t sacrificed anyone to our god. What other religion can make that claim?
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didnt jebus preach not beating people?
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@Raglle (#151)
i think you’ll find that a cosmic zombie made of bread who is his own father, and who died to save the ENTIRE HUMAN RACE also = wtf?!
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Dear raglle,
Well, you have convinced me. I still have one question, though. How in the hell does God make people? How, exactly is it done?
Please reply as soon as possible because my full conversion hangs in the balance.
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Seriously? This idiot obviously doesn’t get the point this website is trying to make. We’re making fun of over-zealous people like you that force your religion on everybody by trying to ban teaching evolution in schools, preventing gay people from getting married etc.
And whats with the hatred? Last time I checked Jesus said Love thy Neighbor. I seriously doubt it is very Christian to beat someone up whom you have disagreement with. Study your religion a bit more before you start criticizing and threatening other people.
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@raglle
Another one swinging at the outside curve. “how in the hell does a fsm make people?”, you ask? Easy. Take three cups of boiling water, add one cup of instant people, cover and reduce heat to low, and simmer for 45 minutes. Same as any other god.
Sheesh. They let them vote, drive, and reproduce.
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“Last time I checked Jesus said Love thy Neighbor.”
Fundie interpretation of “Neighbour” applies only to anyone who belongs the same sect, or cult, and agrees with everything they believe.
I’ve come across a few discussions on the meaning of the “neighbour” reference at fundie sites.
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The type of people that come to this site come here only to laugh at your hate mail. They are the very same intelligent logically-minded people that made possible the technology, and consequently that very computer you are typing your poorly executed rant on. Without them you and your brainwashed ilk would have remained in the dark ages with nothing but a note tied to a pigeon’s leg to communicate with your friends, so show them some respect and get on with your little life believing whatever makes you feel good but don’t impose your irrational drivel on others. Just because it’s happened to you doesn’t make it true.
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““ANNONYMOUS”,
You’re a stupid moronic christian who couldn’t spell if you’re life depended on it.”
“ANNONYMOUS”,
You’re a stupid moronic christian who couldn’t spell if your life depended on it.
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It’s not annonymous. It’s anonymous. Use a spell check.
And you’re not doing your religions any favours by saying you want to beat us up.
And by the way, my IQ is probably higher than yours by at least 20 points. Please, get a life, a sense of humour, and laid. =D
I actually feel sorry for you. You’re the one who’s going to Hell. All those other Hardcore Christians are, too. Hatred was never in the bible- in fact, all the people who /did/ hate went to Hell.(As far as I read, of course. How would I know too well? I’m only 14.)
Well, I’ll see ya down in the great pit.
I hope you enjoy your stale beer.
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Am I the only one who finds it funny that they signed it ’sincerely, annoynmous [sic]‘? How sincere can you be when you’re too lazy to even make up a name?
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raglle (#151)- I agree with everything that the pastafian’s before me have said to you. You say that “i agree 100% with this hate mail”, which preaches hate and violence. If your jesus is love, then hasn’t satan prevailed over you?
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“Anonnymous”
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“Annonymous” *** I have a hard time re-spelling nonexistent words.
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Jesus is perspective.
Everything is perspective.
You guys think abortion is murder. I think abortion is just weeding out unwanted stuff.
And something that has been bothering me for so long..
If guys got pregnant, would abortion be legalized?
Don’t answer. It was just something that was bugging me.
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Well, legalized /more/.
Maybe the better term is socially acceptable? ._.
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Oh man,
My sides are hurting after reading that retard’s posting. Religious people are so stupid that don’t get irony or satire.
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You are truly retarded! I’m surprised that He hasn’t smited you with a Holy Meatball of Fire.
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someone missed the whole point of the pastafarai revolution, obviously.
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o/’ And that’s the definition of the word
o/’ Irooooonyyyyyy~
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firstly hey! to everyone (apart from the abusive “anonomous” .
now im a buddhist i am peaceful (thanku for noticing dagg (page 8 , response 141)) but i dont think that the litany of insult u sent these people was entirely smart , think about it if ure a christian (which is fine by me) then u are taught to believe in kindness fairness to others , love thy neighbour etc. NOW i must stress at this point that whilst u may think these FSM believers are weird at least they have an image of what they believe in , worship , pay homage to (however your wording is ) christians on the other hand just shout about everything and expect people to follow and give them money.(my apologies i got carried away there) anywho . . . . where was i ?? oh yea. “anon” leave these people alone , i have no doubt in my mind that u are one of these forgotten people that no one remembers from school who now has a mediocre job ,a mediocre house/flat and a rubbish outlook on life and u get your kicks by scouring the internet every day for hours on end finding religious sites and leaving messages (as you have here) throwing insults at these people you may never have met.
peace to those of you who deserve it
P.S. i love the depiction of “his noodliness” on the pic , very good
i’d just like to say “anonomous” , YOU JUST GOT BOYD BY AN 18 YEAR OLD SCOTTISH KID , BOOYA!
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I loved it, finally a good christian man telling it how it is. We need more people like this, cant you tell that this is the one way to salvation. Shake off your stringy meat soaked bonds and join us in God. You don’t have to think or anything!! In fact, our leaders believe in peace, love and relaxation so much that we are banned from thinking. They do the hard work for us
(TROLL), Sorry I’m bored and really have nothing else to do
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Jesus “H” fucking keeeyyyrriiiist! Thank GOD I’m an Athiest!
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Is a Flying Spagetti Monster really any less believeable then a god who created our world in 7 days? Who can control everything and see the future? I am neither if these religions but I am respectful of everyones beliefs and faith. This was rude and discrimitory against this group. If you were a good Catholic, scratch that if you were a good person you would be tolerant of other peoples beliefs and keep your opinions to yourself.
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Why do people open their mouths when they don’t really have anything to say? Rabble… RABBLE RABBLE RABBLE!!!!
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Wow…the irony…it hurts. Really this guy has just made an absolute retard of himself. He’s stupid enough to think that people actually religiously believe in a FSM. It’s all part of the grand joke made to mock the very people who run around telling us that a zombie Jesus is our lord and savior.
The very fact that he takes offense to the whole FSM concept is ridiculous. That’s like getting angry at Final Fantasy because it’s not “realistic” and people couldn’t possibly do what is done in that game. Well der it’s a game, there’s no argument about it’s realness, since the very purpose of it is a FANTASY.
I wish I could meet this person so that I could fully experience the hilarity of wetting myself from laughter at his supreme failure at existing.
Honesty I don’t understand how people still exist like that? Are they all hiding under rocks somewhere and come out at night?
Also the decrease in pirates IS the cause of global warming:
Pirates= awesome. raid. kill.= people are killed= less people=less pollution=less heat trapped=less global warming!
If there are no pirates global waring shall prevail. :P
People like this guy here who can’t tell when they’re being mocked by an ironic joke based around their own religious idiocies…how do they survive in the world? In fact FSM makes mores sense then the entire bible, which I unfortunately have read. FSM to say the least is consistent! The bible is so full of elitism, sexism, racism and contradictions and is as inconsistent as entropic jelly being thrown from a plane. (Just imagine that visual image, it’s quite amusing)
On another note I bet that guy is about 15, and a bet the average age of people here…if averaged out would be more like 19…or perhaps that’s just because of our supreme brain power that the great FSM has blessed us with. ;)
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@ Techskeptic.
The noah’s arc supposedly stayed afloat for a whole YEAR, the rain was just there for 40.
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This so ironic! I am an atheist and reading this just made me laugh. he has picked out all the flaws in his own argument. Too funny.
…and he spelt ‘anonymous’ wrong…
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I have one thing to say to you “annonymous” (hasn’t your un-noodly God taught you to spell yet?), and that is –
RAmen, dude. RAmen.
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Not bad.
Religion is an easy target. That’s why the’re a bit sensitive.
Their problem is vulnerability somewhere in their labyrinth.
But they can easily kill you for what you are. Just look at their symbol and what’s on it. That could easily be You.
Be careful. They can be quite nasty.
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You guys are retarded.
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Possibly the most beautiful irony I have ever seen.
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This has to be most funny thing I’ve read all day.
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The small are often offended by the truth.
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Probably a troll.
Just sayin’.
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I like how this person criticizes one group for having stupid FAKE beliefs, albeit he doesn’t realize they’re fake, while having stupid REAL beliefs themselves. Irony is lost on theists. It’s like someone who hunts deer criticizing someone who plays the DeerHunter video games for being cruel to animals.
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What’s really funny to me..
Anyone who doesn’t believe in a god or gods would read the beliefs of the religious…and possibly say the SAME EXACT THINGS that this person said about FSMism…
It’s just funny to me..
To me..if someone wants to pretend that there’s some invisible man in the sky that keeps tally on everyone’s wrongdoings..then I think it’s just as “sane” to believe there’s a giant ball of pasta in the sky as well…or a teapot…or what have you.
Peace.
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Yeah, because Jesus went around beating the shit out of people and locking them up. Oh wait, NO HE DIDN’T! And if you would have read that bible that you like to beat people over the head with, you would have probably known that. Idiot.
The only retard here is you. You can’t even understand a fucking joke!
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Thank FSM for morans, er I mean more-ons, or is that returds?
WTF “christian” morons for the lols!
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Arrrrrgh!!! We be friendly Pirates!
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RIP AND TEAR! RIP AND TEAR! RIP AND TEAR! RIP AND TEAR! RIP AND TEAR! RIP AND TEAR! RIP AND TEAR! RIP AND TEAR! RIP AND TEAR! RIP AND TEAR! RIP AND TEAR! RIP AND TEAR! RIP AND TEAR! RIP AND TEAR! RIP AND TEAR! RIP AND TEAR! RIP AND TEAR! RIP AND TEAR! RIP AND TEAR! RIP AND TEAR! RIP AND TEAR! RIP AND TEAR! RIP AND TEAR! RIP AND TEAR! RIP AND TEAR! RIP AND TEAR! RIP AND TEAR! RIP AND TEAR! RIP AND TEAR! RIP AND TEAR! RIP AND TEAR! RIP AND TEAR! RIP AND TEAR! RIP AND TEAR! RIP AND TEAR! RIP AND TEAR! RIP AND TEAR! RIP AND TEAR! RIP AND TEAR! RIP AND TEAR! RIP AND TEAR! RIP AND TEAR! RIP AND TEAR! RIP AND TEAR! RIP AND TEAR! RIP AND TEAR! RIP AND TEAR! RIP AND TEAR! RIP AND TEAR! RIP AND TEAR! RIP AND TEAR! RIP AND TEAR! RIP AND TEAR!
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lolwut?
Do you actually think anyone ACTUALLY believes in a Flying Spaghetti Monster? Seriously? YOU’RE A FUCKING TOOL.
Get the hell off our internets.
Oh, wait, damn, I get it.
Successful troll is successful.
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I don’t know if anyone’s already done this, cos the comment list is a bit tl;dr, but:
Dear dumb ass folowers of Christianity,
There have been a lot of weird things that i have seen in my life before, but this tops them all. Do you really believe that there is/was such a thing as a god? Seriously, how fucking old are you? I know there’s such a thing as freedom of speech and expression, but this kinda shit should be banned. Theres is only one Flying Spaghetti Monster and one Holy Bolognese Recipe. Why dont you people get that? How much sense does it make to say that the world was created in 6 days? Is that science or some fifth grader trying to sound smart?
You are the kinds of people I dread to meet in public. If I were to ever have the displeasure of meeting your retarded ass, I would probably beat you senseless untill your stupid childish mind thought like a normal person and believed in something that sounds correct instead of just saying “Eh, lets make a new religion..and what the hell, our ‘FSM’ should be a bearded guy. Oh, and it should have magical powers and sit on a cloud. Lets bow down to it and see how many people follow suit!”
Damn you all to hell!! Better yet, somebody should lock you in a fucking psychiatric ward for further examination because they obviously didnt do that enough when you dumb fucks were born. I hope this web page is taken off the web as quickly as it was put up.
–Sincerly,
ANONYMOUS
Aside: “Better yet, somebody should lock you in a fucking psychiatric ward for further examination because they obviously DIDNT DO THAT ENOUGH when you dumb fucks were born.” This comes from a guy who thinks that being locked in psychiatric ward is a NORMAL THING FOR BABIES. Insane.
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(I am not a follower of flying spaghetti monster or any other God)
Dear dumb ass Dear follower of Christianity,
HI WHAT THE FUCKS UP DUMB ASS? …YOU CAN’T EVEN FUCKING SPELL FOLLOWER AND YOU’RE CALLING THESE PEOPLE DUMB ASSES?! You’re a pussy fuck.
Take a fucking chill pill seriously. I really fucking suggest some Marijuana maybe, Heroin..I don’t fucking know..start a fucking hobby, get your head out of your ass. Then maybe you’d realize your god is a revengeful, self-loving, conceited, hateful, fake, cock sucking bastard.
Seriously, Your god makes people with original sin then impregnates a woman with his son to die for the sin already set in them. Then doesn’t ever show his face or any sign that he is there and if someone doesn’t believe in him they are condemned to a burning pit of plasma doom. OH YEAH THAT’S THE GOD I WANT. If I do something he doesn’t like, burn! sizzle! wham! tortured for eternity. Awesome. Yeah he’s really fucking loving, you know sending someone to an eternal torture session because they lied, or they stole a 5 dollar bracelet from a flea market when they were 10, and never “repented”. Fuck your god. He’s just as fake as the stories behind a group of stars.
Oh. And who the fuck are you to damn any one to hell bitch? If I was your god I’d smite your fucking head off, you piece of shit. You don’t have the fucking right to jump all over these peoples dicks just because you disagree, I don’t know man, start a debate club or some shit or just leave people the fuck alone. Get some fucking anger management maybe? You asked for this bullshit. You want an argument you fucking got one, cunt.
Do you have a fucking brain in your fucking head?
Do you praise your almighty god with that mouth? Oh I’m fucking sure.
I’ve never in my life read something written by someone as ignorant and closed minded as you..Yeah maybe the beliefs of these people come as a shock to some people but hey that’s no ones business..THIS DOESN’T EFFECT YOU, YOU STUPID FUCK ASS BITCH.
Have a cock licking day, ass reamer.
There is too many gods and too many religions..we’ll never know who’s right or wrong..this is why wars are started, this is why there is so much hate in the world. And I choose not to be apart of any religion or any “side”. I’m free minded, and it feels good.
Have a nice life everyone, in the end we’re all dust.
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Obviously this moron does not represent the true Christian in any way. A Nazi at best, but to assume and then attack this idiot and insulting all Christians show an incredible amount of insensitivity and how equally self-centered you’re all being. My OPINION is that this ‘religion’ to which you people are defending sounds like something out of a Disney Cartoon and made up to see if anyone would be foolish to follow it. Christianity is a religion and as such does require faith but all must admit there is at least some evidence that it is true. I don’t think it’s logical to say the same of FSM. More importantly the Constitution says that everybody has the right to believe whatever they want and to be free from persecution. I suggest we all persevere to not go down that path.
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He made a joke about me :( he said I dread to meet you, i have dreadlocks and i find that offensive and saying things like that should be banned!
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“Science or some fifth grader trying to sound smart?”
Could say the same about yours, friend.
And the FSM IS a made up figure, just like your God. Nobody actually worships him. It was created to show the complete dumbassery involved in teaching creationism in school.
And no, your contradictory Bible and God don’t sound correct. They sound like an old wives tale or an ancient Shaman ritual. Yours has been proven no more than the FSM.
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First things first I’m agnostic so don’t pull “oh you call yourself a christian” bullshit on me.
Are you sure you guys didn’t just gather around and do acid and were tripping out on dinner? If not then..
I think your all a bunch of brainwashed idiots. So does this mean you guys don’t eat spagetti or anything that can be used for spagetti? How did your godly spagetti come to life? Who killed the cow for the meatballs? WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU THINKING. We live in a decaying world and you dare to inform me theres a “religion” where spagetti is looked at as a god? Are you.. Are you kidding me! Doesn’t the world have enough problems to put all religions aside and believe in reality and what we see around us. Are you honestly goin to tell me your going to question your heavenly spagetti?
What are your grand children or children going to think and say when they here their favorite dinner is supernatural? First there going to lauh until the probably wet themselves and walk away thinking your a fuckin nut job or joking. For their sake tell them you were kidding.
How come this is legal and weed isn’t? I’ve lost hope in mankind yet again!
Truthfully.
A now dissapointed teen
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