Dear dumb ass folowers of FSMism,
There have been a lot of weird things that i have seen in my life before, but this tops them all. Do you really believe that there is/was such a thing as a flying spaghetti monster? Seriously, how fucking old are you? I know there’s such a thing as freedom of speech and expression, but this kinda shit should be banned. Theres is only one God and one Holy Word. Why dont you people get that? How much sense does it make to say that decreasing numbers of pirates lead to an increase in average global temperature? Is that science or some fifth grader trying to sound smart?
You are the kinds of people I dread to meet in public. If I were to ever have the displeasure of meeting your retarded ass, I would probably beat you senseless untill your stupid childish mind thought like a normal person and believed in something that sounds correct instead of just saying “Eh, lets make a new religion..and what the hell, our ‘god’ should be a clump of spaghetti. Oh, and it should have eyes and be able to fly. Lets bow down to it and see how many people follow suit!”
Damn you all to hell!! Better yet, somebody should lock you in a fucking psychiatric ward for further examination because they obviously didnt do that enough when you dumb fucks were born. I hope this web page is taken off the web as quickly as it was put up.
–Sincerly,
ANNONYMOUS
Dear dumb ass folowers of FSMism
Published by Bobby Henderson October 30th, 2008 in Hate Mail (and concerned criticism). 565 Comments
565 Responses to “Dear dumb ass folowers of FSMism”
“I know there’s such a thing as freedom of speech and expression, but this kinda shit should be banned. ”
That’s a contradiction, you dick.
“How much sense does it make to say that decreasing numbers of pirates lead to an increase in average global temperature?”
Well, it’s true, isn’t it? Go to Mexico. Notice how hot it is? Now, look around. Do you see any pirates around? Our theory makes perfect sense.
“If I were to ever have the displeasure of meeting your retarded ass, I would probably beat you senseless untill your stupid childish mind thought like a normal person and believed in something that sounds correct”
Careful, us “retards” are known to have super-strength when threatened.
“our ‘god’ should be a clump of spaghetti. ”
Man, you’re making spaghetti all wrong if it looks just like a clump. I’ll gladly show you how to make some the correct way, as soon as you pull your head out of your ass.
“Better yet, somebody should lock you in a fucking psychiatric ward for further examination because they obviously didnt do that enough when you dumb fucks were born”
Yes, because when I was born they locked me up in an asylum and thoroughly examined me before returning me to my parents.They apparently didn’t do their jobs right, though.
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Says the man who misspelled anonymous.
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Look yeah how harsh can you get…
It’s a flying spaghetti monster..
It’s cool..
how can you not want to worship this..
we don’t say anything about other religions..
so get over it..
how sad can someone get to even write hate mail..
and you’d be pretty damned if you saw the FSM infront of you when you pass away..
so think before you say anything
if you think your saviour can die and comeback to life in a matter of days..
we can think our god is a flying spaghetti monster
alright..
so do one yeah
much love
x
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Go figure anonymous, pussy.
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if Big ‘G’ can impregnate a woman without having sex who say that there cant be a god or other celestial being entirly composed of spaghetti…
or for that matter something like Jelly, Jell-O to my American companions.
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I think you are all fucking idiots.
You are sitting here having a fucking bash fest on a bunch of people you have never met!
Who the fuck do you think you are sitting there saying that these people will go to hell, and they are “evil” and all this other bullshit, when you yourself have NO tangible proof that YOU are even really going to your heaven.
It was never your place to judge, or say anything for that matter.
If in fact these people are just making fun of Christians, than doesn’t your Jesus teach you, to not retaliate, yet turn the other cheek?
Jesus died because no one believed that he was who he said he was, and you didn’t see him putting up some big fight just to prove that he was the son of God.
And I can sit here with a clear conscience because I am not a Christian, I do not believe in all the things that you christians spend countless hours soaking in what could be a lie.
I believe that we are what we make ourselves to be. And who really knows whats going to happen to us when we die?
I mean, my grandmother hasn’t sent me a letter from anywhere telling me where she is right now, and so honestly, I don’t think its our place to conjure up a place we go when we die, just to make dying a little easier.
Face it, we all die, and we really honestly have NO idea where we could go after that event takes place.
So my advice to all you said “Christians”. Maybe you should sit back and think about why these people really made this website in the first place.
Do you ever think that with them making this religion, and it in fact being a mockery of Christianity, it really has proven their point?
You are only making yourselves look stupid…
because I am sure with every one of your comments that these people read, they are laughing at each and every one of you.
Save your breath for your Christ… cause when and if you really do meet him one day, you will have a lot of explaining to do.
Jess
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Does anybody else here get the impression that every single one of these hate mail writers completely skipped gathering information on the purpose of this site? Just to let all you fundamentalist assholes know, this is social and political commentary on the important legislation taking place across the country about the conflict between education and religion. Of course nobody believes in a flying spaghetti monster, and nobody is trying to attack you for your beliefs. The purpose of this brilliant satire is to illustrate the point that if we abandon empirical and scientific methods for belief in what cannot be proven, we will find ourselves on the slipperiest of slopes where such nonsense as FSM take precedence over thoughtful and responsible study and research. Thank you, Bobby Henderson, for illustrating this point to the minority of Americans that understand and appreciate your intelligent, important, and hilarious position on the issue between Evolution vs. Intelligent Design.
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I’m sorry to say this, but this is hilarious. I’m pretty sure this guy was a pro troll, and he SERVED you. Lolz.
Or he’s serious, and therefore retarded. :P
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May I just say one thing? This is a spoof on Intelligent Design. It says so right on the side of the ssite, where it says” purchase the gospel” read, please.
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I’m laughing at the fact that he’s supposed to be Christian yet he’s being so vulgar and offensive. He’s also threatening you guys, that’s pretty silly. What a moron, it’s spelled “anonymous” too.
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LOL i Love this website
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“I know there’s such a thing as freedom of speech and expression, but this kinda shit should be banned. ”
FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-
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I’ll bet the Oreganomatous One has a better sense of humor than this fellow’s god. Also better manners and language skills. Having once been a Christian and eaten their god (Some think he’s a cracker, some think he’s bread. I’ve tried both.), ours definitely tastes better.
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To all the butthurt people on here crying about this movement I say, STFU or get a sense of humor.
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@amydawn (#442) When you say “As far as teaching it in schools, well I’d prefer it if EVERY religion was taught in schools so kids could be free to chose what belief system fit them best. Even if it’s NONE…” that’s certainly high-minded, but the fact is that’s only been allowable in a tiny minority of countries for very limited timeframes.
Imagine in the United States, a country based on freedom of worship, advocating atheism in the 1700s. Hell, even now you get enough vitrol for that. So, what went around is coming around…
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Yes, we do really believe that there is such a thing as a Flying Spaghetti Monster. Do you really believe that there is an invisible imaginary friend up in the sky that dictates your entire existance, and if you’re a good boy you’ll get to live with him?
I am twenty-three years old.
If there is in fact such a thing as freedom of speech and expression, why can you ban us for speaking and expressing freely? On the sole base that we do not agree with you?
Yes, there is only one God and one Holy Word. That would be the Flying Spaghetti Monster and the Gospel. We do get it.
Pirate levels and global temperatures show an inverse relationship. Thus, we theorize, that more pirates = less global warming. It’s science.
Why do you think you validate your point for threatening us? It will only make you seem more of a bible-thumping, dogmatic idiot. You should be arrested. Furthermore, your technique to convert us by beating us senseless really doesn’t seem very effective.
“Eh, let’s make up a religion about a cosmic Jewish zombie who comes back to life every year, and only died because his dad said that everyone else was misbehaving. Let’s bow down to it and see how many peopel follow suit!”
Damn you to… wait, we haven’t got a Hell, because we don’t believe in scaring people into doing good. We believe in positive reinforcement.
Were you locked in a psychiatric ward and examined when YOU were young? That didn’t really make much sense.
And lastly, your signing off as Anonymous clearly shows your cowardice. If you want to spew hatred, you’ll have to be able to live up to your own comments. Just another mislead idiot.
Adieu.
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you just made yourself and your god look like a fool.
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OMFG!!! This Is Ttly Amazing
I Mean I Know Its Not Real But
Its Fucking Amazing
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hello stupid head dumb means you cant talk
stupid
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You WOULD spell “anonymous” and “until” incorrectly, along with a bunch of other shit.
I think this entire rant makes you even worse than people who follow the flying spaghetti monster. I’m not a Pastafarian (that’s what they’re called) but I do believe that the Christian god is just as ridiculous to follow and that Christians are just as ignorant as any other person who worships something/someone they have never met before. (That goes for credible proof as well.) Don’t cram the shit down my throat that the bible is proof and that Jesus actually was alive at some point. Just save it. The chance of the Christian God still existing and the flying spaghetti monster ever existing is pretty much equal. Think about it.
Signed,
ANNONYYMOUZS
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W00T!!! Utterly hilarious-not to mention awesome! This truly is the funniest website EVER!!!!!!!
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Poor fool!! Every religion says that we should love each other and live in peace! You don’t believe in God and should dare to pronounce his name! Don’t ever think about telling the name of his noodly appendice!!
Seriously, even if there is one God, however we see him is okay. stop talking about violence!
Even Jesus told “love you each others as much as I love you”. Your God must be sad of seeing you!
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your grammar and spelling are waaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyy offf
LOLOLOL
oh man
i love this so much
im officially converting to Pastafarianismismdgfndkjgdflg
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Wow, your a christian?? maybe you need to go to church..
You are among many hypocritical christians..
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I think you missed the point man, flying spaghetti monster is not something anyone worships, it’s completely made up… kinda like the big guy upstairs that watches your every move and judges you accordingly, unless of course you believe that Jesus died for your sins, then you get in free. I’m not sure which of these made up religions would work for me, perhaps there are many many others to chose from? Whatever gets you through the guilt of being an ignorant pseudo-human I guess. After you are done beating not believers senseless over your beliefs, maybe you could throw yourself down some stairs. Not that any of this will sink into that head of yours, you have already locked it up tightly as we all can surely tell.
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I love the Christian who thinks he would ‘beat the shit out of’ any Pastafarian he met probably, well, that’s sold me on your religion, matey!
Read your bible and ‘forgive us’! Also, if there’s anything that we can learn from sport, competition is healthy and can only serve to make you stronger.
Masta the Pasta!
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“I would probably beat you senseless untill your stupid childish mind thought like a normal person and believed in something that sounds correct instead of just saying “Eh, lets make a new religion”
Genius, what the hell do you think happened when Christianity was ‘invented’, which it was? There were quite a few about at the time and for whatever reason this idea of one God and all that interpretation of stuff stuck with us, kind of like VHS in the UK or Betamax in the US.
And ’something that sounds correct’ are you serious? Toy Story is more believable than the Bible!
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-Low Level Orc
We actually do have a Hell… But it’s not all that bad. The beer is stale and the strippers have VD.
R’Amen
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Don’t we all love smart-asses who can’t spell sincerely?
The fact is that FSM is a parody-religion made to diss Intelligent Design, and this parody seems to be some couple of hundred times more scientifically proven, and so it’s no wonder it has attracted 35.000 members on its facebook site. Compared to ID which only seems to have attracted thanks from the Jehovas witnesses who now have a *scientific* theory to preach. And who would listen to that bunch? They can’t even spell their god’s true name Jahve. They haven’t gotten that Jehova is a mistranslation from hebrew. Jesus, if he existed, was the best man of his time, but this is the 21st century, people need a wakeup call. And Pastafarianism is it!
R’amen, and remember to eat your daily amount of spaghetti so as to be oodled by the Lord’s noodly appendage.
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“Eh, lets make a new religion..and what the hell, our ‘god’ should be a clump of spaghetti. Oh, and it should have eyes and be able to fly. Lets bow down to it and see how many people follow suit!”
what and your good who can supposedly be all knowing and all powerful, not only is that impossible its contradictory. If he was Omniscientific and had the power to silence evil then would be no need for god. If he had the power but not the knowledge then hes omnipotent, but neither of which make sence at least ours has a rough equation for its powers (which id like to remind you is):
tomatoes2meat spice/deadcows an apple+(y/garlicky+ʡ/z-cooktilldone+e/dope-herbs)dw/dz-aβz-monster/the neat(with-poer)(z-d)*w= the core of / (yummy2)eatfood x= nuclearpower4speedofdarknessx(soulofthe kittens3/3/57world order+c)
that should make tell us how his great noodleness flies, approximately of course (becuase he’d change the values anyway)
therefore our god is superior
besides we dont worship some ghost and a man on top of our one, our spagetti is all we need.
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Pastafarianmism (FSMism) is true only because it isn’t false, or it isn’t yet. I, and all other Pastafarians are more than happy to listen to your ideas, beliefs, and comments, assuming you have or will have given us equal and fair time and attention. We reject dogma, and that is what makes us…unique. We aren’t here to tell you you are wrong, but we would like to inform you on how you are missing out on some great opportunities, such as the beer volcano, the stripper factory, and a better way to get nourishment and ethereal satisfaction in communion.
We’re just trying to send out a hand to everyone, there’s no need to bite us back. Don’t feel threatened if you don’t believe us: just smile, nod your head, and get on with your day. We won’t be offended, and you’ll look all the better!
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So basically you want to ban religions that aren’t Cristianity
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you are all fucking crack heads… get off the internet all religions suck cock!
This is chinwe – backed up by the whole of China saying religions are a stupid waste of time!!!
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As a Christian I have to say that I am ashamed of whoever it was who wrote this hatemail. Even I think that FSMism is funny, cause really, that is all it is. A joke created to point out apparent logical fallacies in the Bible and other religions. If anybody reads this letter and whole-heartedly agrees with this guy, then please look into the history of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster before ridiculing it. I mean come on, how stupid do you have to be?
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Hmmm forgive but I was raised as a Christain and for along time believed in God. But as I got older I started to look around, now I do believe there is a Savior and something like the Devil in this world. By saying that FSM is an idiotic religion is absolute Bull. Everyone is allowed freedom of religion, it’s in the Constiution snart one. Also by saying that Christanity is the only way to go to save you in the Afterlife is like the Nazis killing the Jews: Stupid,Bias, and full of shit. What’s your proof? A book? One book that has been copied for centuries. How do you not know that somewhere along the lines it got messed up? You don’t. So please, before you start saying people are Satanic or whatever cause they worship the FSM, remember you believe in a god whos son came back as a Zombie. And like I said, use to be a Christain, I still kinda have that thought of God is real. But we shall see.
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It’s rather remarkable that christians spend so much time trashing this and other websites not founded on their own beliefs. Yet, note how much time Atheists, Agnostics and FSM’s spend trashing major christian sites. Wait, what’s that? Oh, you mean we don’t? Must be that our beliefs are strong enough not to have to criticize other religions to make ourselves feel better (although it’d be easy enough). Must be we have more constructive things to do with our time.
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I would love to see you try to beat me senseless. However, I have the FSM on my side, while all you have is a bible and a dead man on a cross. If there is a hell, as you seem to believe, perhaps I will see you there along with all the other bigoted Christians, because hypocrisy will certainly not buy you a pass to your heaven.
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Perhaps if you spent less time on Atheistic sites, your God would love you more, and then you would be happy.
RAmen.
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sorry, guys. guess i was having a bad day and now i see what an ass i was being. maybe ill give fsmism a try.
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what did FSMism do to you? Many people think this is funny (including me), many people might take this seriously, but why are you getting worked up about it?
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GTFO my FSM, anon.
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lol. A christian cant control his anger. Wants to beat us senseless. So much for sinning. Remedy: pray to god for forgiveness. rinse and repeat.
I really cant believe some christians really believe that people actually believe in the pasta god. God obviously didnt give them the gift of brains.
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Can you PROVE that PASTAFARIANism is false? Saying “My God exists therefore yours doesn’t” doesn’t prove anything by the way. It’s called free speech, and FREEDOM OF RELIGION, therefore whether you like it or not, you have to deal with our beliefs, just like we have to deal with yours… So FUCK OFF!
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man this shit is crazy, who says that fsm doesnt exist, you dont, you say you want the truth, well guess wat? you could not handle the truth, fsm is to great to be understood, he healed me with his awesome spaghetti powers.
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Hey, I would just like to say that you saying that your religion is the “right” religion or the “correct” religion is just plain idiotic. God may have said that you should have no other God’s besides him, but what if you don’t follow that? Then shouldn’t it be okay? Just find some sense of humor and chill.
(P.S. chilling could help in the long run, because according to your logic, you’re going to hell. And you going to hell could be a lot more pleasant because it won’t be as hot if you would just F*#&ING CHILL)
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Why can’t there be more than one God/FSM? This is a big world, they can share. Who knows, maybe your God made the FSM, and let the FSM create the world, or maybe Vica Versa? Which came first, the chicken or the egg?
To Marlene:
you spelled “smart one” wrong.
lol.
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There have been a lot of weird things that i have seen in my life before, but this tops them all.
You need to get out more.
Do you really believe that there is/was such a thing as a flying spaghetti monster?
Yes, I totally believe in flying spaghetti. You’re joking, right?
Seriously, how fucking old are you?
15
I know there’s such a thing as freedom of speech and expression, but this kinda shit should be banned.
I’m glad it ain’t. :D
Theres is only one God and one Holy Word.
Holy Word? It’s ‘please’, right?
How much sense does it make to say that decreasing numbers of pirates lead to an increase in average global temperature?
Absolutely none, but that’s the point, isn’t it?
Is that science or some fifth grader trying to sound smart?
I don’t know how old he is, but I’m pretty sure Bobby isn’t a fifth grader.
You are the kinds of people I dread to meet in public.
me too. it loses its fun knowing who you’re insulting.
If I were to ever have the displeasure of meeting your retarded ass, I would probably beat you senseless untill your stupid childish mind thought like a normal person. . .
Beat someone SMARTER? teach, teach!
. . . and believed in something that sounds correct instead of just saying “Eh, lets make a new religion..and what the hell, our ‘god’ should be a clump of spaghetti. Oh, and it should have eyes and be able to fly. Lets bow down to it and see how many people follow suit!”
A lot.
Damn you all to hell!! Better yet, somebody should lock you in a fucking psychiatric ward for further examination because they obviously didnt do that enough when you dumb fucks were born.
Are you implying that babies are put in mental wards after birth? (heyy, so THAT’S what those secret little rooms are!)
–Sincerly,
ANNONYMOUS
Damn. Can’t stalk em, now. D:
I answered this whole thing with a grin on my face. The hate mail is the best part of the site, imo!
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Ha! Do these fucking dip shits ACTUALLY think that we believe in a Flying Spaghetti Monster? I think it’s pretty clear to anyone with an understanding of SARCASM, FFS! Retarded Christians, they take everything too seriously. By the way, he can’t spell, it’s “anonymous”, not “annonymous”. Furthermore, is this the holy word you are referencing?
“Women should remain silent in the churches. They are not allowed to speak, but must be in submission, as the Law says. If they want to inquire about something, they should ask their husbands at home; for it is disgraceful for a woman to speak in the church.” – 1 Corinthians 14
“Your male and female slaves are to come from the nations around you; from them you may buy slaves. You may also buy some of the temporary residents living among you and members of their clans born in your country, and they will become your property. You can will them to your children as inherited property and can make them slaves for life.” – Leviticus 25:44
From this we can see that your “Holy Word” isn’t all that fucking holy.
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Well I see this guy wasn’t around when the backbone evolved, really all these threats of violence are so sad. Still it is the appalling grammar and spelling these guys have suggest that they are not exactly on the genius level. The temperature and pirate analogy is actually pointing out that by teaching creationism and intelligent design instead of evolution, is equally consider nonsense. Still I suppose that is a bit beyond him`like grammar and possibly counting without using their fingers.
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Christians should not use, “God said”. This denies the authors their due credit. For instance, quoting scripture from the book of Mark should begin with, “Mark said that Jesus said….” If you want to live your life based on pure hearsay, that’s fine. Just don’t be disrespectful by ignoring the writers of the second hand scribblings.
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