Dear dumb ass folowers of FSMism,
There have been a lot of weird things that i have seen in my life before, but this tops them all. Do you really believe that there is/was such a thing as a flying spaghetti monster? Seriously, how fucking old are you? I know there’s such a thing as freedom of speech and expression, but this kinda shit should be banned. Theres is only one God and one Holy Word. Why dont you people get that? How much sense does it make to say that decreasing numbers of pirates lead to an increase in average global temperature? Is that science or some fifth grader trying to sound smart?
You are the kinds of people I dread to meet in public. If I were to ever have the displeasure of meeting your retarded ass, I would probably beat you senseless untill your stupid childish mind thought like a normal person and believed in something that sounds correct instead of just saying “Eh, lets make a new religion..and what the hell, our ‘god’ should be a clump of spaghetti. Oh, and it should have eyes and be able to fly. Lets bow down to it and see how many people follow suit!”
Damn you all to hell!! Better yet, somebody should lock you in a fucking psychiatric ward for further examination because they obviously didnt do that enough when you dumb fucks were born. I hope this web page is taken off the web as quickly as it was put up.
–Sincerly,
ANNONYMOUS
Dear dumb ass folowers of FSMism
Published by Bobby Henderson October 30th, 2008 in Hate Mail (and concerned criticism). 565 Comments
565 Responses to “Dear dumb ass folowers of FSMism”
Forgive this child. He knows not what he speaks. He will know the truth one day, let us all come together and pray that he is touched by his gracefulness…
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I love how, after all that, he misspelled anonymous.
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I think I need to stop reading these hate mail pages. Im getting closer and closer to falling of my chair with laughter. All that needs to be done with the hate mail is interchange God/Jesus with FSM (in both directions) and then the Christians are accurately pointing out the flaws in their own religion.
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Yarr make him walk the plank I say.
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this person cannot be serious. they’ve never HEARD of the flying spaghetti monster? oh how depraved! by the way, that’s real christian of you damning everyone to hell. and what church do you belong to?
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Dear “Annonymous”,
I am going to quote a few things,
“If I were to ever have the displeasure of meeting your retarded ass, I would probably beat you senseless untill your stupid childish mind thought like a normal person and believed in something that sounds correct….”
I regret to inform you that my ass has no mind of it’s own, and therefore can not be classified as “mentally handicapped.” I also am very sympathetic to your situation, I feel that no child should be hit until at least the age of fifteen. I am sorry that your father thought he could fix your “funny feelings” for the neighbor boy with a “stern whoopin’”.
“Better yet, somebody should lock you in a fucking psychiatric ward for further examination because they obviously didnt do that enough when you dumb fucks were born.”
I do not believe there is a psychiatric ward specifically for that purpose, but if there is, I suppose that is the one I would enjoy the most, and more specifically, “they obviously didnt do that enough when you dumb fucks were born.” I am sorry to hear you were subjugated to that as a child, but honestly, it explains aforementioned “Feelings” for the neighbor boy.
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I almost forgot.
RAmen.
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I must have lost 5 pounds reading this letter and it’s comments. Thank you for such joy, all mighty Flying Spaghetti Monster.
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A lost soul. His noodliness will have pity on him.
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The best part is “Oh, and it should have eyes.” So Yahweh is blind? That would explain the platypus.
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Ooh, such violence… aren’t people like this usyally in psyco homes?
I can imagine a bunch of old guys reading about jesus and saying “well, the morals are good, but there need’s to be more damnation…”
Then jesus looked up from his stripper and slapped his forehead.
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I’d convert just to piss this troll off
but I’m firmly CoG
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“I would probably beat you senseless untill [sic] your stupid childish mind thought like a normal person”
That is epic.
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Hey, if the FSM (all praise His Holiness) is good enough for Richard Dawkins, I think it is childish to call someone who follows Him childish. Oh, and by the way, if you “dread to meet” people like this in public, first of all, that is an incredibly CHILDISH thing to say, as you have no reasonable fear for your own safety in such a person; second, do you think such people “dread to meet” people who hold YOUR faith in public?; and third, you clearly have no idea as to just how many people–atheists, FMSists, or even people who don’t believe in YOUR god because they favor another–you meet EVERY SINGLE DAY OF YOUR LIFE. If is incredibly childish to pretend that you have a reason to hide from people who simply do not believe in the same invisible, all-powerful, divine entity that you do.
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I like it that this one is both sincere, and anonymous. Nothing like being sincere in your beliefs, but then not having the guts to stand up for them.
Michael Fraley
Maine, USA
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