this is some of the dumbest shit i have ever seen. You have a game for your church you are totally and utterly retarted dud-duh-DUR!! i haven’t laughed this hard in a while so i thank you dumbshits who believe this for entertaining me
P.S. hahahahahahahahahahahahaha fuck you guys but thnx for the laughs
-nirvana
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An elaborate spoof on Intelligent Design, The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster is neither too elaborate nor too spoofy to succeed in nailing the fallacies of ID. It's even wackier than Jonathan Swift's suggestion that the Irish eat their children as a way to keep them from being a burden, and it may offend just as many people, but Henderson, described elsewhere as a 25-year-old "out-of-work physics major," puts satire to the same serious use that Swift did. Oh, yes, it is very funny. -- Scientific American
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……we have a game for our church?
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What’s wrong with having a game? Is it because any game that featured the cruxifiction of Jesus would be horribly depressing and boring? So because Christianity doesn’t have anything that really works for a game we can’t have one?
Oh, and by the way. Christianity DOES have several games, (The Bible Adventure Series for the NES, Super 3D Noahs Ark [a port of Wolfenstein 3D for the SNES], Left Behind: Eternal Forces, Guitar Praise, and Captain Bible in Dome of Darkness just to name a few) problem is those games all SUCKED. Our game is fun and addicting, with music that you can’t get out of your head.
RAmen
Peace and Long Life,
Zane
P.S. @ Ron #1: Yes we have a game. You can find it here:
http://www.venganza.org/worship/fsm-game/
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What’s wrong with having a video game? I bet you consider Christianity a real religion and it has games [Bible Adventures (for the NES), Super 3D Noah's Ark (a Wolfenstein 3D port for the SNES), Left Behind: Eternal Forces (PC), Guitar Praise (PC), and my favourite name for a christian game ever: Captain Bible in Dome of Darkness (released in '94, unknown system, but available online still)] the trouble is that those games all sucked. At least we have a cool game with catchy music.
RAmen.
Peace and Long Life,
Zane
P.S. @Ron #1. Yes we have a game. It’s on the worship screen.
http://www.venganza.org/worship/fsm-game/
P.P.S. Sorry if this ends up being a double post. My first attempt at a post didn’t appear as “awaiting moderation” like it usually does so I assumed it fell into the internet ether.
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nirvana must have thrown a tantrum because he got a bad score on Flying Spaghetti Monster The Game. Nirvana, remember: Don’t try to convert the school administratorsm, they’ll take time away from you.
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What’s wrong with having a video game? I bet you consider Christianity a real religion and it has games [Bible Adventures (for the NES), Super 3D Noah's Ark (a Wolfenstein 3D port for the SNES), Left Behind: Eternal Forces (PC), Guitar Praise (PC), and my favourite name for a christian game ever: Captain Bible in Dome of Darkness (released in '94, unknown system, but available online still)] the trouble is that those games all sucked. At least we have a cool game with catchy music.
RAmen.
Peace and Long Life,
Zane
P.S. @Ron #1. Yes we have a game. It’s on the worship screen. Then go to FSM the game.
P.P.S. Sorry if this ends up being a double post. My first attempt at a post didn’t appear as “awaiting moderation” like it usually does so I assumed it fell into the internet ether.
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Nirvana – live up to the definition of your name and unbinding the fetters of the mind. Open yourself to his noodleyness and feel his love. The Flying Spaghetti Monster has no problem with pirates of the same gender getting it on, so if you want to fuck us guys, join the ride – we’ll make you laugh and cry. Yarrrrr
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…You’re called Nirvana…
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OK, OK. I should have been clearer with my question. I know we have a game for OUR religion, but I believe Nirvana was saying we have a game for A religion. Now, the whole enterprise may be a bit silly sometimes, but I don’t think that makes it a game.
Thanks to everybody who pointed me at the Worship page, much appreciated.
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Retarted? Does that mean I get automatic seconds on breakfast?
It’s interesting that the hate-mailers lately seem to be exhibiting less and less intelligence. Interesting because I would have wagered that it wasn’t actually possible. But then, organized religion actively discourages intelligent thought, discussion and creativity, so I shouldn’t be surprised at the ignorance shown by the (presumably) mainstream-religion-following nasties.
RAmen
ET
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I’m sure there’s a reason why the posts that contain the words ‘retarded’, ‘dumb’ and ’shit’ never include a reasoned argument.
I’m to much of a retarded dumb shit to understand why though.
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Way to show that loving, caring, and compassionate Christian behavior. And it’s “retard”, retard.
Have a nice day!
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I quite like the idea of being retarted, do I have to replace my previous tarts or can I keep them.
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Blablabla.
Wow. I am amazed at all these people who doesn’t even get it.
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Hey nirvana the “retarted.” You retard want to see funny, try reading your fucking Bible. It is one of the funniest books I have read. Oh shit!!! I forgot, you don’t now how to write so you probably don’t now how to read either. See, that’s what happens when you are inbred. I guess if you were a little bit smarter you would probably have the IQ of goat.
Lucifer
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Look up Biblefight.
Duh duh durr.
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Nirvana the “retarted”, I almost forgot. “thnx” you for the laughs.
Lucifer
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Any of us who have known a tart in this life will surely be “retarted” someday as we sit next to our beer volcanoes in the hereafter.
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Nirvana is not hindu for fucktard.
This is a major problem in our society. We have a segment of our population which is fully 25-30% of the whole, who are just unbelievably, stupid, hostile, Xtains who have it in for everyone who’s more accomplished than they are. That’s why someone like a Palin can have traction. In effect, what has happened over the last 40 years is the segment of the population which used to vote for George Wallace has more than doubled because of the abysmal condition of the American educational system coupled with the agressive recruitment and indoctrination of the Xtain evangelicals.
As a result we have two Americas, one rational, tolerant, reasonably secular and open minded, and this America comprises roughly 55 percent of the population.
Then we have the Xtain, evangelical know nothings who want things like Creation Science and the Ten Commandments hanging on the walls of every public building, who view the progressive system of taxation which has been in place since 1915 as “socialist”, and who see Governor ‘Whack Job’ as presidential timber.
In the middle we have people who just don’t follow it and don’t get it. I don’t know whether these people are stupider than group 2 or just don’t think any of it applies to them, but they need to wake up before the entire country becomes a trailer park jamboree.
BTW, who the fuck is that guy in the cowboy hat, and beard with the huge belt buckle who stands beside Palin during every speech. Christ, he looks like somebody who spends his tourist dollars in Nashville or Branson, Missouri.
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I wonder….I can resolutely claim that Pastafarians are more literate, grammatically correct, and just all around less “retarted” than other, more dogmatic religious fanatics. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that His Noodly appendages guide us toward enlightenment and education…or maybe it’s because we’re just less ignorant. Thnx you for sharing your “retarted” grammar with us.
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Nirvana, nirvana, nirvana…
Either that means he’s… buddhist I believe? Not a fan of theology.
Or that means he listens to the nonsensical mixture of english words accompanied by an overload of powerchords created by a junk who shot himself. Yes, that’s a clear sign of your intelligence.
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I wonder if any of the “Un-sauced” ever come back to read the replies to the hate mail the post….. I hope they do, and I would like to see some of them reply. May they be touched by the great noodly appendage!!
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Sorry for the spelling errors, trying to type and pay attention to my Prof…..
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Kurt Cobain would be pissed
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Okay, first of all, what does this mean?!
“dud-duh-DUR!!”
Sound like a noise a “retarted” Christian would make when asked about Evolution:
“Dud-duh-dur, God make world, what ee-voh-loo-shin? Me not know sky-ants.”
And we do have a game, a more awesome one that YOU have.
Nirvana is a state of absolute peace. You are just a “retart” who uses random words as his/her name.
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Retarting is exactly the same as double dipping. It has to be true. A Christian told me so.
Up here north of your border we are getting bombarded by your presidential election. I have to admit this McCain scares the crap out of me. I’ve travelled through your beautiful country more times than I can remember but every time I go there I see more and more huge churches and evangelical nonsense popping up like mushrooms. America was once the golden eye of the world but now I’m not so sure. This insane pushing of Christianity over education has got to be slowed down if not stopped. Just try and imagine what America will be like in 50 years if this is allowed to continue. Scientists will be pariahs. Free thinkers may be jailed. those who disagree will be “re-educated”. The church will run the state; they have been trying to get serious power for a long time. It will be George Orwells’ 1984 but with better technology. No music or art or movies unless sanctioned by the church/state. I don’t want to sound alarmist or paranoid but you have to admit the possibility exists and what with the economic climate right now, the stage is getting pretty close to being set up for the uneducated Christian masses to make their move and take over. It’s kind of like the worlds biggest and worse chess game. Only a few moves left before check mate.
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@ jeremykeys I say you are 100% correct. I say we fight back loud and clear. These asshole Christians have no respect for free thinkers, atheist or anybody who disagrees with them. They don’t respect us and I think we should not respect them. How do you like senile Mc Idiot and the caribou Barbie? Can you believe that the election is close?
There was a time when religion ruled the world. It is known as the Dark Ages. Our country has been hijacked by a bunch of religious nuts. But how easy it was . That’s a little scary.
People who believe in a divine creator, trying to live their lives in obedience to his supposed wishes and in expectation of a supposed eternal reward, are victims of the greatest trick of all time.
Christianity is a religion for losers.
I believe that religion, generally speaking, has been a curse to mankind and that its modest and greatly overestimated services on the ethical side have been more than overcome by the damage it has done to clear and honest thinking.
Lucifer
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Nirvana
What a bizarre, confused little rant.
You sad person
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again shut the fuck up yall dumb mother fuckers
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Well, poor Nirvana wasn’t bright enough to read in between the lines and see that this is more or less a parody on religion. No, no one is walking around with pirate garb and worshiping an invisible monster made out of pasta that has the strange ability to fly. Why? Because it would be silly. Now, this is where you begin to think. Why does mankind worship something that is invisible and indescribable? Isn’t it silly?You may argue that a man just like us invented FSM with his own very creative imagination, but couldn’t we also have invented God? Who authored the stories in the Bible? Mankind.
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to Chris: ????????????????????????????????????????????
Thank you for your time.
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@Devil’s Advocate: I WAS walking around in pirate garb and “worshiping” an invisible spaghetti monster yesterday. Mind you, that was Halloween so it falls into a ’silly’ loophole and is totally acceptable in society.
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To devil’s advocate:
Of course its parody; and more “enlightened” people get it. But let’s be honest, its much cooler to walkaround dressed like a pirate than JC. How many kids did I see on Halloween dressed like Captain Stigmata? Zero! Lots of pirate children, however; and the temperature dropped 18 degrees! Coincidence, maybe; or perhaps His Noodly Appendage reached down to thank us for remenbering the importance of pirates to our ecosystem. FSM may not be all silliness and light afterall.
Think about it…
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Awww Nirvana hates us, that sucks, they are a good band
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@ Wdabrock…”Captain Stigmata”? Freakin’ hilarious!! I just about spit my coffee out my nose on my computer screen when I read that. Now everyone in my office thinks I’m crazy for laughing like a maniac at my computer. Not that they didn’t think I was crazy before, mind you, but still.
Awesomeness.
May you be blessed for making me smile.
RAmen.
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@Red Handed Jill,
You’re quite welcome for the chuckle. I’m still trying to think of his theme music; no superhero, real or IMAGINED, should be without some kind of anthem, herald, three-bar vamp. whatever they call it!
May His Noodly Appendage touch you in a manner that isn’t harassing!
RAmen!
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Pleased to please you!
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lol i like his name… nirvana…….fits his language and how is treating others as jesus would… wait…. i’m not being thrown in a lake of fire right now…. or being struck by lightning.. wtf God..
GAAHHHH YOUR ABSURD HATEMAIL HAS MADE ME STUPID!!!!!DUH-DUH-DUR!!!!!!
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Excuse me, but don’t you bring NIRVANA into your Christian Charities…Kurt Cobain shall *frown* upon you. I hope you come back and read this, MAY YOU be touched by his NOODLY APPENDAGES!!!!!!
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Do you realize the alias you chose and the message you sent are totally contradictory? ._. I am baffled and appalled. DON’T USE WORDS YOU DON’T KNOW. The Buddhists would cry.
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this guy must have lots of friends if he spends all of his time harasing people about their religeon.
suck my nuts you stupid prick.
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This one’s just too crap, and should be deleted by the moderator. Posts from pre-teens should be routinely weeded out. It would be quite easy to write a script that scores you on grammar, Holy Capitalization of His Holiest Words and punctuation, then alerts you what a wanker you are if you’re too thick to post here.
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Nirvana n (Skt lit., act of extinguishing, fr. nis- out + vati it blows – more at WIND) 2a:a place or state of oblivion to care, pain, or external reality;
It looks to me as if this person chose an internet name that really fits.
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Kurt Cobain Would LOVE the flying spaghetti monster.
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this letters stupid, get rid of it. This guy didn’t even think
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Indeed, nirvana, this message is the dumbest shit I’ve ever seen.
Are you even a real Buddhist, anyway?
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wow. i mean,wow. this is by fare the most idiotic religion i have ever seen. im not very religious but honestly..a flying spaghetti monster.the least you could do is be more creative or find a psychiatrist,untill then i think it would be best to shut the hell up.
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@Post #46
Same to you with knobs on.
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@ Lucifer #14,
I think you’re being too tough on goats; they’re really way smarter than N.
@ Wdabrok #32,
I’m sorry for bothering you, but I know from other posts on other threads that you have some expertise here. Maybe you or Niteshade could tell me if there is reverse evolution. ET #9 asked about the reduction in intelligence of our hate mailers, and I wonder if we could use the hate mail as the field samples for a study of the intellectual and/or evolutionary status of the hate mail class.
RAmen
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@ Plumberbob #48,
I wouldn’t use the term “reverse evolution” in that it would give the Xians the idea that His Holy Noodlyness’s powers can somehow be reversed. De-evolution is a better word for the process of ever worsening hate-mail. The over-all quality of trolls has diminished month after month, and we’re no getting the old 300 to 400 threaders that we so need to keep out intellectual wits honed.
I believe this is due to a condition(I hope someone from JAMA is reading this) I am coining: PTPD- Post Traumatic Pastafarian Disorder. Symptoms include catastrophic destruction of writing and proof-reading abilities. Acute sentence fragmentation marked with a permanent inability to recognize parody. Calcification of logic and CAPS LOCK(note the inability to capitalize opening letter in sentence, failure to recognize subject, predicate) syndrome.
These symptoms are noticed usually after fervent Christians post statements that are replied to by Pastafarians. Note that the writer isn’t distinguishing between atheists, agnostics, etc. but emphasizing the Pastafarian sect as a catch-all. Negative comments to the postee seem to cause a reduction in scopolamine levels in the synaptic junction in neurons, causing the loss of motor skills needed to properly communicate. Left untreated with will inevitably lead to thought of blind faith in deities and taste for self-scourging. The posts within the e-mail categories represent the basis of this conclusion.
It is direct exposure to Pastafari thinking that leads to the debilitation you have seen. By challenging their original lines of thought, we are causing PTPD in the Christian/ID proponents who come here. I have personally seen the illness carry over to places like about.com, WorldNetDaily, and other Xian sites.
Strangely, I don’t think it needs to treated.
RAmen!
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To cj#46,
You probably wont read this, because you’re long gone now. Let’s quickly discuss your little problem.
I’m going to pretend that I’m the Jewish messiah predicted by so may past prophets(ignoring the fact that I’m black and couldn’t be mistaken for being an Orthodox Jew without the powers of the KNB-FX crew- but they did a good job in the new Dead films and Norbit), but I’ve got to pass the prelims. I’ll start by studying all the literature on prophecy and the “second coming”, and I’m going to have my confederates bone up on it as well.
Next I’ll roam around all the places listed in the prophesies and try to make sure people see me acting and doing what their messiah would do. Because I’m quite a nutter when it comes to religion, I’m going to insure most of the predictions are fulfilled by following them to the letter and say the right things-including that I’m the king of the Jews, which I know will piss off the Sanhedrin. They, in turn will get the Romans involved; you know, the Romans wouldn’t like anyone other than the Emperor to call himself king, no matter how crazy(see Caligula, Commodious)they know he is. That is a capital offense. NO! They aren’t going to crucify you, that’s for show(reserved for special victims in the arena in Nero’s era mainly) but they will nail me to a tree.
Why, you ask? Because crucified prisoners of state could have a proper burial. Your bones were placed in a little box called an ossuary. In those times, proper burial meant allowing your flesh to rot from your bones and gathering the bones up to be kept by the family. Mausoleums were an expense few could afford. But if the Romans were really pissed at your behavior, you were pinned to a tree, and your bones left for the crows and dogs. Family could visit, but not mourn. This fits into prophecy nicely, because my body should be gone by the third day of my death. No body=resurrection. All I need is for my disciples to comply and tell everyone they saw me get up after I was dead. No body means you can’t prove a thing in the future. Historians get the raspberry, I get deification. How cool is that?
Sounds beyond belief, until you think about it. What Jesus(if he even existed) did was a self fulfilling prophecy. Do you have any proof he didn’t? Until then, His Noodly Appendage will continue to touch all life with basil and pesto, erasing His Holy presence so you non-believers will continue coming here to entertain and challenge by Pastafari brethren.
RAmen!
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