ang on ang on , ang abaat , u fink that theres a big ball of italian food at the pearly gates . do you even realise how offensive this may be to some christians ! , pastafarians r u stupid or wat . get a life ur no worse that them jahovis wittneses or dem ary chrishna ones . u need to get out more u kno. my brain capacity is bigger then urs
…………../´¯/).. ..………(\¯`\
…………/….//. ………….\\….\
………../….//.. …………..\\…. \
…../´¯/…./´¯\… ……../¯`\….\¯`\
.././…/…./…./. |_……_|.\….\… .\…\.\..
(.(….(….(…./.) ..)..(..(.\….)…. )….).)
.\…………….\/ …/….\…\/…… ……….-morgan
ang on ang on
Published by Bobby Henderson October 26th, 2008 in Hate Mail (and concerned criticism). 201 Comments
201 Responses to “ang on ang on”
Well, this is a breath of fresh air!
We’ve got some ethnic flavor, (cockney?) a reasonable question, a few mild insults, no swear words, and to top it off, a beautiful piece of ASCII art. (Looks a bit like Kryten giving the double bird.) Puts a smile on my face.
Well done!
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Fake hate mail, how boring.
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A creative user of punctuation for sure. It juts seems a shame that it’s not used properly in between the _words_…
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Considering your wonderful and inteligent writing style, I’d be suprised if you had any brain capacity whatsoever…
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Fake.
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How is believing in the Flying Spaghetti Monster offensive to some christians?
Thanks for your feedback.
Lots of love, may his Noodliness Touch you,
Theo
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No, this one is a joke. Too much intentional stupidity.
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This has got to be fake. No one could possibly be this stupid.
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Wow. What do you call someone who is pretending to be a troll? Spelling phonetically, purposefully misusing punctuation… Morgan, come over to the Noodly side! You can actually use that brain! We like it when people think! Join us! JOIN US!
By the by. ASCII art went out in the eighties.
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Methinks I spy a troll!
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oooo…ASCII art. We are obviously dealing with a much higher form of life. :P The obvious lack of understanding of the English language is even more proof! Aliens are among us! Or maybe its just a bored fundy. I dunno.
Mare
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…..nevermind, not really worthy of a response…..
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Uh, well, at least most of us can spell. Fascinating ASCII-art, though.
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Nobody is really this illiterate… this must be fake. I mean, I like the irony of someone saying “my brain capacity is bigger then urs” in a post like this, but seriousely…
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Kan u spell?
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Wow. Indecipherability, bad spelling, bad grammar – this note has it all! Oh, wait, no cussing and no reference to us being gay. But the nonsequitor at the end about brain capacity is a nice touch. Well done!
Arg
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awwwwwwwww…..i so enjoy hearing from our developementally challenged supporters. sweet picture of the all-mighty appendages.
.
remember to keep your helmet on tight while youre riding the short-bus, O.K. skippy.
.
Paul M.
confirmed Pirate,
irate Canadian.2
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lol, now I’m starting to think the hate mailers are trying to complement us. Since it appears only thoes with the reading capacity of a 7year old and writting of a phone texter seem to be able to respond to us.
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I call Poe’s Law on this one. If it turns out to be real, then you fail at ASCII and life. About your brain being larger than ours…does that include you know how to spell words correctly, use punctuation and correct use of capital letters? With a bigger brain, I can only imagine that you know how to correctly spell ‘are’ and ‘you’ along with a series of other words.
-
~Mariner, spelling and grammar corrector
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Christians aren’t supposed to get offended, that’s what the whole “Turn the other cheek” stuff is about, you feckless chav.
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O-kay. Please, please, please, for the love of Pasta, tell me this is a joke. Seriously, nobody is THAT dumb. O_o
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your brain capacity might be great but your english isn´t
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Comicbook guy – “Worst fake hatemail, ever.”
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Well Morgan I see you are smart enough to make that big elaborate sign on the bottom of the page but not smart enough to use correct grammar.
To be perfectly honest I had to read this whole thing twice to understand what you were saying.
We never said that His Holy Noodleness is at the Pearly Gates. We have our own heaven so we don’t really need yours. I like to believe instead of having Pearly Gates we have Breadstick Gates.
Well since we offend Christians because our religion has a God and a Heaven that means every religion with similar beliefs have the same problem with Christians. Wait, aren’t Christians suppose to be tolerant? So if every religion offends them then wouldn’t that make them non-tolerant? Well that makes them hypocrites then doesn’t it? So how can we truly believe any of their faith-based claims? I do know however that everything in Pastafarianism can be backed up by scientific facts.
Looks like your religion is just a big hypocritical ball of nothing.
RAmen
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My God, a survivor from the dot-matrix printer era…
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the sad part is his brain capacity IS probably bigger then mine, I sure wish I could make those awesome pictures with my keyboard D:
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Come to think of it, I haven’t seen an ASCII FSM yet…
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Well I think we can guess whose parents are brother & sister. So how exactly is it offensive to Christians? The FSM heaven has a beer volcano & strippers no pearly gates were mentioned I checked, that and ever used a dictionary mate you should get a spanking for the spelling mistakes alone. Now how big is your brain capacity? I could find out quite easily with an ice pick that’ll make your ears burn.
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Your brain’s capacity may be bigger than ours, but we’re actually using it.
Does anyone have any idea what they hell that thing is on the bottom? It looks kinda like two hands giving the ever kind christian gesture of “fuck off”.
You know, morgan, some Pastafarians may find that offensive. r u stupid or wat
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Um… I hope to FSM that your brain capacity is not bigger than mine because the meaning of how stupid I would have to be for that is mind boggling.
But ignoring that point, how is the CoFSM any more offensive to christians than any other religion. You think you’re right about your god so should that not mean in your opinion every other religion is wrong? So why do you take special offense at the FSM? We have never said anything about there being pearly gates in heaven so perhaps you are making connections to your own religion because deep down you realize just how silly it is to believe in an invisible man who lives in the sky.
And my last comment for you right now is, if your god is omnipotent, then he should have the power to take the form of a Flying Spaghetti Monster. Can you prove he hasn’t? Can you prove that a Flying Spaghetti Monster doesn’t exist? If you cannot answer yes to either of these questions, maybe it’s time to reevaluate your beliefs.
RAmen
Peace and Long Life,
Zane
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Obviously a joke. Not worthy of comment.
RAmen
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“my brain capacity is bigger then urs ”
Clearly.
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At least WE can speak and write like functioning human beings.
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troll?
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does he even realise how offencive it is to think it might be offencive that we believe in a different diety than him?
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oh dear, seems we have a seriously bad case on our hands (or noodley appendages, as the case may be). I suggest that you learn english, because the only thing I understand in the statement is “u fink that theres a big ball of italian food at the pearly gates”.
Well, not particularly, because, you see, the Flying Spaghetti Monster is a spaghetti-and-meatballs god, not a “big ball of italian food”. For that matter, I really doubt there are any pearly gates. He’s not Saint Peter, he’s the Flying Spaghetti Monster.
As to “jahovis wittneses [sic]“, we are hardly forcing our views upon anyone. Rather, you are forcing your opinion upon us! Quite the ironic turn around, if you understand what irony is – but considering your grasp of satire, I rather doubt it. Here’s a hint: blacksmiths don’t make stuff out of it.
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Yea… Your brain capacity is bigger than mine. Thats why you spell ‘know’ ‘kno’ and ‘you’ ‘u’ and dont use correct grammar like smart people do. Do you realize how offensive christianity is to most other religions in the world? Do you realize how many times christianity has seen fit to exterminate those other religions? Go back to church and read your bible again. You might learn something.
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-morgan
First of all.. learn to spell.
Second of all, if you talk like you write, then man, your’e just inherently offensive to the english language. And that ASCII art (although cool), is offensive to the human race.
Learn some serenity with all that brain capcity you have, you might do some good.
loky
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How many people here have heard of satire?
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I’ll start worrying about offending christians when they start being concerned about how much they offend me.
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Is this english?
you know, english is not my natiuve language, so just in case I ask…
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I’m actually impressed with the middle finger picture. You’d think a person with that kind of attention to detail could spell a word or two correctly.
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Morgan,
Judging by your grammar and spelling, and the fact that you insult not only pastafarians, but also jahovis wittneses and hindoos, while defending christianity, leads me to believe you are not only closed minded, but contradicts your claim of having a “larger brain capacity”.
Also, if you had at least looked up who Chrishna was, you would have found that he was basically the same person in almost every respect as your Jesus, so by insulting the people who worship Chrishna, you are insulting everyone who worships Jesus, which obviously includes yourself.
So Morgan, take my advice and at least know what you’re insulting before posting something that makes you look like an idiot.
Ramen,
Corey
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Normally I don’t wish for people to die in a car fire, but you just are such a good candidate.
You can’t even copy paste properly. That only ups the FAIL level!
I hear by give you a FAIL… no… a PHAIL level of 9.8/10. Now please just… go away you stupid stupid phailure…
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OM(FSM)G! it’s the first one even I can lagh on his speling!
any way, do you know haw much the christen god is offensiv to me?! saying the grait lord of the world is a shovenist, merderer, pro rape and pro slavery?
thats blestafomy!
the grait FSM wold never aprove of that!
any way i love’d the picter =]
gona pot it in my blog
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Funy how these disbelievers are all bloody awful at spelling. Does this suggest that all religious nutters are dim? Discuss.
Ramen
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How’s that, then?
………………………/ \……./ \………
………________………| O |…..| O |……..
……../________\………\ /..__…\ /………
…….//.._____.\\___…..//../__\..//……….
……|/..//===\\//===\\__//\\//._\\//\\..____…
……/..||//|FFFF.SSSS\M/\\M==\//.\\\=\\//===\\.
……..//\\||F|||=S|||/MM|MM==//\\///==\\|===||.
…….//==|||FFF\=SSSS\M/M\M==|||||\\==||/\==//.
…….||==///F|=\\//=S|M|=|M=///\\\||\=//||=//..
…….\\==//=F\=||SSSS\M\=/M.\\\///\\/.\\==//…
……..\__/…\__/…..\\_//..\_//……\__/….
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While the other hate mail that has been sent was bad, this is just too much. I’m calling Poe’s Law on this guy.
May you be touched by His noodly appendage,
Spartan
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Do you realize how offensive this letter is to Pastafarians? and also, if your going to send a letter to a religious group insulting them, it is best not to speak in the tongue of their ancestors.
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Also, we need to get out more? You’re the one who makes middle fingers out of slashes and periods.
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Judging from your amazing grammatical skills, I highly doubt that.
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Fake?
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… was anyone else even capable of reading this? It’s kind of hard to believe we’re stupid when the opponents type even worse than a typical Naruto n00b.
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Moron – do you have any idea of just how wanky “Mockney” is spoken let alone read ?
You sad berk.
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Oh, here goes. Another troll without a spell check.
No, I do not believe there are any pearly gates.
Yes, I do know how offensive it is to some people-kudos to our beloved prophet Bobby for the smashing success.
I don’t know about your brain capacity, but your grasp of the English language is awful.
May his noodliness grant you eternal life with apple cider and HIV free strippers. (And antibiotics if the happen to have other STD’s).
Ramen
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Ok, ok, I think I can just about type out a reaction for this.
Lol wut?
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“my brain capacity is bigger then urs”
I beg to differ.
Anyway…:
You obviously don’t see what we see. A large number of Pastafarians are convert Atheists who were constantly attacked by Christians and would like to give them a little kick in return.
Of course we realize this is offensive to some Christians. To plenty of us, that’s the point of the religion.
-XCE
PS: You have a piratey name.
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OOOOooooohh,
Another idiot that doesn’t understand S-A-T-I-R-E.
There I spelled it out for you Mrs. Larger Brain Capacitor.
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Ok this is definately not real. This has got to be a joke.
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Oh. My God. That was amazing, your perfect vocabulary and grammar skills have utterly defeated me; I relinquish any superiority I ever thought to hold over you. you get an A++ for that work of art.
RAmen Mateys!
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Most people would say “a fly’s brain capacity is bigger than yours”, but this guy must have some pretty high self esteem to say “my brain capacity is bigger than yours”, as if that means we are incredibly stupid.
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Don’t tell me to get out more!
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HM! Larger brain capacity, eh? I suppose that unincludes typing capacity, or perhaps grammar and punctuation?
Wonderful!
You make me sick.
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Cor blimme! you could’ve knocked me down wiv a fevver. It’s a fair cop, guv, we’ll put our ‘ands up to this one. Are you really Dick van Dyke or what?
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Your fingers are not well made … you should work on them a little
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No way. Is this real. Seriously?
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No way this one is real.
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So much for the hypothesis about hate-mailers evolving better spelling and grammar. Or maybe this one just compensates with his intricate drawings.
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und mi grmar is besser thun yurs!
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The writer is stupid in so very many ways, but I’m especially disapointed that he wasted his time creating that ASCII art in a variable width font. It doesn’t work at all in fixed-width.
That was so going to be a code comment.
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I applaud you for recognizing your superior brain capacity, wise Morgan, and I hope to see you put it to use someday. May His holy sauce continue to nourish your great and powerful neurons. RAmen.
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What? I’d thought I’d seen it all. Guess I was wrong.
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Dear Morgan:
We loved your “fingers”.
Now, please show us your “tits”.
That is, using only ., ‘, -, /, and \, take your best shot at creating a pair of tits to share with pasta lovers everywhere.
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Fake. That’s all I have to say.
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Morgan,
I think God forgot to give you a brain as you lack key spelling and grammer. Plus if you actually read the site you would understand what the FSM is all about. Christians are always the ones to critise well take a look in the mirror! Hypocrites! You are acting very unchristian like. If thats even a word.
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You sure do look like a very bright person, indeed.
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Hm. Is it just me, or is yon troll trying to fake a Cockney accent?
….. or maybe he just can’t spell.
It’s tragic that anyone would toss off such a bad message, and then put so much work into a rude gesture. Says a lot about human nature, I suppose.
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Was that in English? My brain hurts.
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Is this satire on top of satire?
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Certainly this isn’t the ghost of the great pirate, Henry Morgan. Of COURSE we know there isn’t any Italian food waiting at the Pearly Gates when we pass on. There are no Pearly Gates, just the stripper factory!
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Whoa holy christ… first of all don’t say your brain is bigger than ours if your spelling is that attrocious. this guy had the will power and “mental capacity” to creat something thats called a PARODY religion and its based on MORALITY????????? hawowwtf.. and dude learn to spell goddamnit. and its KRISHNA!!! and they do not claim dick about jesus, its an entirely different branch of religion. thats like say judaism, and islam and EVERYTHING that isnt christian is wrong. dude, educate yourself. for the love of the FSM. and you took the time to creat two hands giving the finger… aww how cute… how very VERY christian of you, bloody hypocrite. this is a place of many cultures and many MANY religions. not one is correct and not one is false. its a set of beliefs in which to lead your life. not a means to hate.
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What the fuck is wrong with this dude?
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Morgan,
First I would just like to say that I spent many a minute trying to decipher the language in which you wrote your intended opinion – Why (attempt to) use text language on a computerised system? In my opinion I find it more difficult to type in the above method, than using correct English and grammar. The only purpose of “text” language in a logical world is for the pupose of saving money whilst writing TEXTS. Furthermore, I would also like to ask you where and how you came to develop such a warped understanding of English grammar? I am a 15 year old student from England and am confident my grammatical ability (and indeed “brain capacity” far exceeds yours. I am also very taken with the wonderful image at the foot of your comment, and the way you have managed to create such an utterly incompetent picture. I mean, the lines do not even match. Have you also noticed how the thumbs are on the incorrect side for such a human gesture? “No”?.. Didn’t think so.
I am aware that my comment is developing into the realms of excessivity so I shall not endeavour to comment on his opinions relating to “jahovis wittneses” or “dem ary chrishna one”.
Morgan, a touch of immaturity I am sure even you will appreciate:
Mah peenis iz bigga than yorz maayt! ,
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omg! ur brian capasity are bigger then mien!?!?!
lol. And what in the name of marinara sauce is that strange picture supposed to be?
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Level.
An obvious troll. Doesn’t sound genuine at all.
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Dear Morgan:
No honey, its not your brain that bigger. It’s your head because of the helmet necessary for riding in the short school bus. Nice art though.
Hope they adjust your head gear soon. It must be very depressing for you.
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“do you even realise how offensive this may be to some christians!”
“get a life ur no worse that them jahovis wittneses or dem ary chrishna ones . u need to get out more u kno. my brain capacity is bigger then urs”
i think it’s a troll, but in case there’s really some idiot out there:
you retarded fuck.
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I don’t know what appalls me more, the terrible stereotyping of the London accent by the poster or the number of Pastafarians taking the post seriously.
Let’s awl calm down my son, gow dawn the Strand, buy uz sam pickled eels and ave uz a lurvely knees up! Roll owt the barrel, av a banana.
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pouhahahahahahahah!
I’m glad it offended him, he’s been so impolite.
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My comment has been swallowed by cyber-demons. Can any English-speaking Pastafarians confirm this is sort-of English?? Sure doesn’t look like it.
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Hallo Morgan. Your brain capacity is…? Oh dear. What a novel though misguided way to try and impress us. Perhaps if you had delivered a well reasoned and well spelt argument you would have had more success. This religion is a parody. You may need a dictionary to discover the meaning of that word, fear not there are many availanle on the internet. Be careful to spell it correctly though. Perhaps if you just copy and paste the word from my comment? Just a suggestion. Pastafarianism is not intended to be offensive to organised religions, merely thought provoking. Your own comment however seems to be insulting to not one but two religions. Surely you are not hiding a bias there Morgan? You don’t identify your own religion.
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Ethan,
“not one is correct and not one is false.”
maybe you meant
“not one is correct and not one is true.”
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Your brain capacity might be large, but it’s rather empty as we speak.
It’s like saying: “My jellybean jar can store more jellybeans than yours”
“Yes but I have 50 more jellybeans than you do, which brings it at a total of 50. Perhaps if you made an opening in the jar first it would be a good start. And of course, it would be nice if you would stop eating the jellybeans before they land in the jar.”
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Are you trying to pull off a London accent in type? It’s not working.
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To all: Reread post #1. I did and finally got the joke behind Morgon’s hate mail. It’s funny! You have to read it with a bad English accent but then you’ll get it.I didn’t at first but after having it pointed out to me I felt I was the fool. It’s a joke, that’s all. He’s just having fun with us and that’s allowed.
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wow. I can’t believe you attempted to write your comment in cockney.
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HAHA he says that what we say is offensive when he was making fun of pastafarians, jihovous witness (sp?) and “dem ary chrishna ones”. Yes, we are truly jerks. >.>
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why yes, sir, i do realize how insulting this may be to some christians. very much so.
ahh, i love mail like this. such high quality.
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OK, he’s not trying to speak in American Cockney (that’s what many American’s think Londoners sound like, i.e, Dick van Dyke in Mary Poppins). He’s actually using a version of the modern London accent (dem is definitely caribean influenced)
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… I belive… that… based on his “languaje”… or text… he will understand this… OMGWTFBBQ…. for does who have an IQ above 20… it means…. get a life!!!
I hope someone would educate all those morons who dont even know different religions exist and think there is only one….
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He may in fact have a higher brain capacity than all of us. It’s like we’ve got regular computers and he’s got a supercomputer, yet all he’s doing is playing solitaire (and losing).
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gotta give him brownie points for effort, eh? :D
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Fake
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His brain capacity IS so much larger. I don’t know how to draw fingers with characters like that. Bravo.
But wait… he isn’t smart enough to understand what this is about is he?
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Why don’t you spend some of that brain capacity and learn some basic grammar?
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I think we’ve just made contact with a Mooninite. Take his Foreigner belt and switch it to “Head Games”.
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Uhm… Is he speaking klingon?
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If your brain capacity is bigger than ours, why is your spelling that of a 3-year-old? I don’t understand why, if you’re so bloody intelligent.
And what’s wrong with Hari krishnas? their religion is just as legitimate as yours.
Another point – Jehovah’s witnesses are a type of christian, so you’re just ripping off your own God.
FSM is perfectly fine, and even though i’m a christian, I still believe!
Maybe jesus is the son of FSM.
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WEE-WOO WEE-WOO GRAMMAR POLICE
*hang
*know
*you
*yours
*about/a bit (Your message was too illegible to make out, so I cannot determine what you were attempting to say)
*think
*are
*what
*you’re
*than
*the
*Jehovah’s
*witnesses
*Krishna
*those (not “dem”)
If you had a larger brain capacity, you would have remembered how to spell the words you learned in kindergarten. Flipping people off on the Internet Isn’t a very intelligent or mature thing to do, either.
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I like the use of the double flip off.
A+ for effort.
Lol at his brain capacity, I hope brin capacity doesn’t affect spelling because that is one thing he will always lose at.
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What language is this wrote in? I can’t understand it, can someone provide me a translation please?
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Christ be with thee Morgan! and to all you fools who criticize his grammer its pretty obvious that he wrote this while he was extremely angry at this wretched blasphemy. As too the fingers, i believe they were ALOT less stupid than the flying piece of talking cow shit/fsm. May the Lord Jesus rule over Gods people forever AMEN!!!
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“my brain capacity is bigger then urs ”
if its th@ big id think ud b able to type bettr than this! , r u stupid or wat.
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ang on ang on your self you think the is an all powerful being up there but the bible does not say what it looks like u mug soooo why do you think that MY religion is made up, just because it is not thousands of years old. DO YOU know how much offense you have caused by saying this!!!! you racist PIG!!!
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ASCII art = the nu hawtness = not getting laid
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@Christian
I have a friend named “Christian” goes by Chris. He believes in Christianity. He however, is a very nice person.
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I have a friend named “Christian”. He goes by the name of “Chris”. He believes in Christianity. He, however, is a very nice person.
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Phew, I’m writing responses to these day in, day out, and they just keep coming! Pretty sure by now, everything us Pastafarians are saying is on a loop-track, considering it’s the same hateful, biggoted ideas that are thrown at us every couple of hours. This one, of course, falls under the ‘pissed off/unreadable’ categroy, and the only thing I have to say to it is;
A) Please learn to spell. I’m fine with having your childish veiws flung at me, so long as I can actually understand what you’re saying.
Other than that, I really can’t tell what exactly he’s saying, or if he has an argument against us. I got the ‘Pastafarians are stoopid’ bit, and the fingers are self-explanitory. Ah well, feel free to continue to scream nonsense at everything you disagree with, that’s obviously the way to reason with people.
RAmen all.
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Perhaps his superior brain capacity is due, not because of a larger brain in total, but because very little is now being used.
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What saddens me most about this message is Morgan incorrectly writing his name. Morgan if you’re reading this, remember it’s…
Big M
Little organ
I hope this helps! Knowing this will help you understand a lot of things in your life.
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Everyone seems to see a double flip-off, but when I look at it, it actually looks an image of our Creator, the great and powerful Flying Spaghetti Monster. I think the stereotypically Italian man who wrote this hate mail inadvertantly renewed my faith in His Noodliness. Or perhaps the image used to look like a double flip-off until it was altered by the omnipotent reach of His Noodly Appendage. Either way, praise to FSM! Can I get a RAmen?!
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Wow…how did you learn to speak Ali G???
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now hold on….. (not “ang on”)
if you want to talk to someone about how your brain capacity is bigger than someone else’s i’d prove it to them by using proper grammar and spelling. also, these “jehovis witnesses” and “ary chrishnas” do not exist. i’m not a worshipper of this sect any more than you are, but i’m not going off about “big balls of italian food.” so to recap: you, who are worshipping a carpenter from the same religion your people killed in the inquisition, and expect a creature with six appendages (2 legs, 2 arms, 2 wings- that doesn’t exist in nature!) sitting on some evaporated water, which, in fact, can hold all the “good” dead people that ever lived, their living arrangements, and, to top it all off, acres upon acres of heavy gates made of white gold, are running your mouth against some other innocent person who chooses to peacefully believe what they wish, while also questioning their intelligence level. wonderful!!
-please write back. i SO want to hear what you have to say about this.
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Despite the religious nature of this website, it baffles me to see all of the pointless shit you guys have been talking about. This was started to show how undeniably stupid, self righteous and hypocritical the church has become not to mock some ones spelling despite how bad it may be!!
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how can i insult a person who talks like that. quite frankly he has insulted himself enough.
suck my nuts you prick
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I think he meant “you’re no better”. Would’ve made more sense in his post.
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You sure don’t speak like your brain capacity is higher than ours.
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Wow that last line there really stings… I don’t think that I have ever been so insulted in my whole life.
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Errr… There’s this thing called spelling? Ya, you need to learn how to do that. Text speak is not what you use to get people to believe you. What, not wat. Are, not r. You, not u!AND KNOW, NOT KNO FOR FSM’S SAKE! YOU APPARENTLY DON’T “KNO” ANYTHING!
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“my brain capacity is bigger then urs”
And that is Saying something, dude!
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Orthodox religion can be a dangerous thing. Often, it gets perverted and exploited until people just begin to do what they’re told. I’m not saying there isn’t a God, just that lately, it seems like people are missing the point. I mean can baptism and communion really be all it takes to get into heaven? Even Hitler was baptized, so that can’t be it. Maybe baptism and communion and all the other rituals of the world religions are just meant to ‘point the way’ to what really matters, and aren’t what matter in themselves. Most of this hate mail comes from fanatics who just need something to believe like all of us. They’ve found it in the church, which it just as good as anything, but i feel like they’re missing the point, and taking it WAY too far. Christianity isn’t about church and rituals and dogmas, it’s about atonement and love. I think ‘parody religions’ as these are called, are a good thing for ‘legitimate’ religions. They sort of keep them in check, and strip away a lot of the nonsense that can get attached to true faith.
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He must have a LOT of free time on his hands considering he made that giant emote.
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Oh please stop blubbing.
You’re insulting the UK…
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Cockney dialect typed along with poor punctuation, spelling, and overall grammar does not help to convey a point. LAWLS
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Maybe he thought he was speaking piratese…
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“[120 - November 7th, 2008 at - tsc Says:
What saddens me most about this message is Morgan incorrectly writing his name. Morgan if you’re reading this, remember it’s…
Big M
Little organ
...]”
Absolute genius!
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Your brain capacity is bigger than mine? That’s why your spelling is so great, right?
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I’m British, and I feel REALLY let down right now…
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Hmm, I think that mocking his spelling is a bit critical and pointless, when you come to think about the big picture. Let me just say that this guy, talking about “brain capacity” may need to think a little harder about what we’re really saying here
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Thanks for the laughs Chav,
But I say we are way worse the JW’s and Krishnas. We’re bloody PIRATES and if we have to commandeer a stodgy old accounting firm to prove it then so be it!
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he thinks hes better than us yet he comes up with this…
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for a person with a larger brain capacity than “us” he has very poor grammar and literacy skills.
Night y’all :)
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You know, he does have a larger brain capacity then use. That letter lowered all our IQs by at least 50 points.
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“do you even realise how offensive this may be to some christians !”
Do you realize how offensive this letter may be to Pastafrians?
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Also…
“my brain capacity is bigger then urs ”
You can’t capitalize, you cant spell “hang”, and you spell “think” as “fink”, and your brain capacity is larger than mine? I think I’ve seen enough. Good day, sir.
RAmen.
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Their brain capacity could only hold abbreviations.
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Oh yeah, he’s obviously a lot smarter than all of us.
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winding people like you up makes all of the effort bobby has made worth while. keep it up bobby
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I’m confused why he types so poorly.
Seriously, no one is this stupid…right?
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i couldn’t read what he said. is there a translator for this language?
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Translation Cockney to English
Hang on hang on, hang about, you think that there’s a big ball of italian food at heaven’s door. Do you even realise how offensive this may be to some christians! Pastafarians are you stupid or what. Get a life you’re no worse that them Jahova’s Wittnesses or them Hari Krishna ones. You need to get out more you know. My brain capacity is bigger then yours.
A great big up yours to you all.
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People draw their own similarities/parallels between Pastafarianism and Christianity, and they tell us Christians may find it offensive? Maybe we should take a page from them and start spamming Islamic sites with ignorant hate mail because we can draw similarities between the two religions and how they choose justify themselves.
Oh well, they’re entertaining all the same, whether or not its manufactured by Bobby or other Pastafarians, or written by Christian haters who stumbled upon the site while in the process of searching for pasta fetish websites.
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His brain capacity IS greater. There’s so much empty room there.
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How elegant!
This guy has nothing more interessant to do?(like writing lessons).
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Oh sweet irony! Being called brainless, or being told that last sentence by someone who can’t even type worth shit. :P
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I would call this a: Brain Like A B-B In A Boxcar syndrome.
RAmen
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Brain Like A B-B In A Boxcar
The capacity’s there the brain isn’t.
RAmen
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if people find this offensive then what about the drawing, YOU could offend some people too. so really you are just a hypocrate.
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yeah, if your brain capacity was so big the WHERE DID YOU LEARN TO SPELL. i think you’re the one that needs to get a life. and maybe even finish fourth grade.
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ang on ang on , ang abaat , u fink that theres a big fat bearded man at the pearly gates . do you even realise how offensive this may be to some pastafarians ! , christians r u stupid or wat . get a life ur no worse that them jahovis wittneses or dem ary chrishna ones . u need to get out more u kno. my brain capacity is bigger then urs
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“do you even realise how offensive this may be to some christians ! , pastafarians r u stupid or wat”
… You tell us our religion is offensive because we have different views, and then you insult us? I say your religion is the offensive one.
“my brain capacity is bigger then urs”
It may be that, but having a big capacity doesn’t make you a smart person.
Having a brain does.
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Hmm… I doubt this one is real. Smells fishy.
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A large brain capacity and you still can;t remember how to spell simple words like “are”, “you”, “what”. At least I think that’s what you were trying to say. Yes I know about shorthand but if you are going to try to make a point you could be articulate, or at least spell properly.
RAmen
P.S. What does “abaat” mean, really, even taking into account the accent you tried to instill into your text it defies so many laws of spelling.
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Sorry about the double post but since no-one else has thanked Dan for the translation I’ll take the time to say a heartfelt thank you. I finally see the extent of his … ah, “brain capacity”.
RAmen
P.S. I apologize for the typo in my previous message.
P.P.S. If anyone would like to see Dans translation go back one or two pages from the one this comment is on.
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how many people can you say the pastifairian religion has caused? maybe one or two somwhere at best. where you guys kinda responsible for the irish civil war burning of the protiestants, the cursades. so where i get lost is how WE are offesnsive in that we have a sense of humor and your history of violence and death is somehow less offensive? please do explain
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….. Please dear FSM tell me this isn’t real.
I would like to take the time to explain how our “Brain Capacity” IS larger than yours.
1. Pastafarians are not ignorant. We accept different beliefs, but believe that it should not be forced upon others.
2. We have an OBVIOUS difference on grammar. But you probably haven’t understood a word I’ve said. Heres something you will. LERN TU SPEL!
3. We don’t use profanity to prove a point, we use it because it mocks you just that much more.
So please. Do us all a favor and get back into that public education system. You need the english classes more than most.
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I… cant understand most of what you typed… But please, go through our hate mail section. We understand that we may offend some by offering our honest opinions, and that our feelings may not be for everyone, but don’t you think that some of the things there may have offended the Pastafarians here? You just flipped us off in a… rather large manner… That wouldn’t offend us? Please… learn to respect our beliefs, pick up a bible, and be touched. Oh the things you will learn. We have explained… And won’t you feel foolish when my noodley love meets me in heaven, maybe even along with you? With plenty of beer at hand, of course.
-Concerned Pastafarian
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it’s a joke. ?he is writing in a cockney accent, beginning with ‘hang on hang on, what’s all this about’. it might not be very funny, but it’s fan mail rather than hate mail
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Thas why they call him terry tibbs
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Yeah…… Your grammar sucks…
You fail to realize this website exists because many so called Christians don’t realize their aggressiveness can offend other peoples…. I don’t like being assualted in mall by evangelists…..
I don’t like having Radicals try to turn my nation into a theocracy….
I find it offensive…..
Still I have to give you credit for inventiveness with the fingers….
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“my brain capacity is bigger then urs ”
………… *Cannot type right now, is completely consumed by laughter*
Do these trolls have nothing better to do than spend hours making anti-FSM ASCII art?
“u fink that theres a big ball of italian food at the pearly gates .”
It’s not so much a pearly gate as it is a giant, properly cleaned plate.
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LOL at the irony of this.
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“do you even realise how offensive this may be to some christians ! ”
-(note the spaces) Do you even realiZe (the Z as well) how offensive YOU are to some Christians? I mean, I’m an Atheist/Pastafarian, and even I am offended for the Christians. Seriously man, go get a grammar book and flip it to the punctuation and capitalization section. It will do you some good, I promise (that is, assuming you know how to read. It’s possible you just randomly typed keys and got this shitty email).
“, pastafarians r u stupid or wat .”
- Here we go again…
A)Sentences NEVER begin with a comma!
B)That is a question, or interrogative statement. It needs a question mark. This leads us to:
C)There is NO space before end punctuation.
I believe what you would really like to say as the intelligent person that you are is this:
Pastafarians, are you stupid or what?
Don’t even get me started on the last sentence! OMFSM!
~Kicker of Awesome and Merciless Tyrant of Cool,
Lauren
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You have a bigger brain capacity?
Then maybe use it to type correctly? That’d be awesome.
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Not very original morgan.
There’s some real ACII creativity back on this 2007 thread..check out
some of the unique creative contributions…
http://www.venganza.org/2007/06/20/hi/
morgan’s is identical to #80 there….yawn..
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Just thought I might say to “KickAwesome” that he did spell realise right; he just used the ‘correct’ British spelling of it… which makes sense as he is trying to do a cockney accent. Really I think this is a parody of the other hate mail more than anything else. Anyway this website is genius, although I would never believe in any of it, as an atheist, I think it is great to get the religious people thinking about what they really believe in.
Sam.
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Having a brain usually allows people to type correctly.
Man,
it’s surprising that so called “Christians” waste their time trying to convert everyone.
YAY FSM!
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Technically Spaghetti is an Italian American dish not Italian. LEARN YOUR FOOD. This religion is just as true as Christianity or any other religion, your ‘proof’ of God is a book, so is ours.
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Yes, the capacity of your brain is obviously musch larger than all of ours…
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If we’re offending “some Christians,” let them speak up. They’re just as able to send scalding hate mail as you, and most have done so with proper spelling.
Oh, and very clever with the “double deuce” flipoff. No one’s ever used that before.
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I don’t know why I keep coming back to this site.
It really just depresses me that some people are so intolerant.
Is it just me, or do people suck?
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Ooh, yes. The middle fingers are so mature. Amazing that you spent all that time just to yell at us for not believing in everything you do.
Oh, and my brain capacity is higher than yours because I can spell, dipshit. Was he, like, missing the “H” on his keyboard or something?
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Why are you guys ticked off? If you’re going to get upset, then don’t read hate mail. :/ personally, this stuff cracks me up. My dad and I were laughing so hard we cried to some of these letters.
That’s cool how they did that, with the middle fingers. handy for a punkass like me, lol. guess what my new email siggy is? :D
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…………../´¯/).. ..………(\¯`\
…………/….//. ………….\\….\
………../….//.. …………..\\…. \
…../´¯/…./´¯\… ……../¯`\….\¯`\
.././…/…./…./. |_……_|.\….\… .\…\.\..
(.(….(….(…./.) ..)..(..(.\….)…. )….).)
.\…………….\/ …/….\…\/…… ………. you, and your belifs
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I’ll worry about offending Christians when they stop belittling my beliefs as a Pastafarian. F****n chav wanker crawl back into your caravan park hovel and shut up.
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He spelled maybe… 3? words right in the entire letter thingy.
Yet he had the time and mental capacity to make a double flip-off?
Ahh, I love this world of ours.
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Is this English or hieroglyphs?
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I love the double middle fingers, thats awesome I wish I could do that but FSM says if someone has slapped your meat ball give them the other one.
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“jahovis wittneses”
Isn’t that a brand of bread?? lol! Your brain capacity really shines through though. Especially with all your perfect grammar and big words… like pastafarians – did you copy and paste that??
I love coming to this website to have a good chuckle at the hate mail.
I really cannot see how people cannot see past the irony and sarcasm that is FSMism. I have so little faith in humanity.
RAmen
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LOL
Brain Capacity? Sureeee.
learn to spell, and do some research. honestly, this hate mail is great ^^
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Holy Shit (yes intended) cockney race hate!
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if ur brayn is so big then why do u tok in txt?
Jeesh.. and by the way, the gates aren’t “pearly”, they’re hyper-condensed spaghetti noodles.
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this should be just as offensive to christains as judaism and isalm. You would really think that just because someone believes in a different god than you that they are stupid? That makes you are racist.
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Did anyone else notice the dialect was some what piratish? mabey she/he is a modern pirate yet to be touched by his noodly appendage
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Why all the trolls, aren’t the real ones funny enough?
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I like your art work.
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haha, oh my. you really believe that what you’re saying is true?! i think that you need to step back and take a good look at what you said, because it is definitely a lot more discriminative (sp?) than what mr. henderson has said. you’re being very offensive to any pastafarians out there, jahovas (sp?) witnesses, AND ari chrishnas (sp?). start to understand your place in the world, and realize, we’re all human, and all have rights to believe what we wish. and sweetheart, if your “brain capacity” was bigger than ours, i’m SURE you would know how to spell words such as “hang”.
thanks a bunch for your shitty grammar morgan ;D
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Oh, okay, but offending a whole myriad of other religions is okie dokie is it?
At least you gave us the finger with some artistic talent, although – and despite your claims of higher “brain capacity” – I suspect that was a swift copy and paste jobbie wasn’t it, eh?
If that was genuinely your work then let me offer some advice – keep your messages to picture form, a bit like Pictionary, since your grammar, spelling and sentence structure aren’t doing much to bolster your claims of a higher intelligence…
Brain *capacity*? Seriously?
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If you brain is that big morgan, then how come you can’t spell nor come up with a thing you didn’t copy and paste from a site as old as the interntet itself?
Back to your studies young man/woman. Just be careful while using the school computor. You don’t wanna get caught and ruin it for everyone else.
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You should really fill up that empty space in your head.
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, u fink that
… Fink. That’s my last name, and it’s also an insult that died down after the issue with integration was over. ^.^ I think you seem familiar. OH YEAH! You’re that guy who was standing outside a random synogogue going, “F*** YOU!”
Or, at least, metephoically speaking you are. Just with some other people. ^.^
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