ang on ang on , ang abaat , u fink that theres a big ball of italian food at the pearly gates . do you even realise how offensive this may be to some christians ! , pastafarians r u stupid or wat . get a life ur no worse that them jahovis wittneses or dem ary chrishna ones . u need to get out more u kno. my brain capacity is bigger then urs
…………../´¯/).. ..………(\¯`\
…………/….//. ………….\\….\
………../….//.. …………..\\…. \
…../´¯/…./´¯\… ……../¯`\….\¯`\
.././…/…./…./. |_……_|.\….\… .\…\.\..
(.(….(….(…./.) ..)..(..(.\….)…. )….).)
.\…………….\/ …/….\…\/…… ……….-morgan
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An elaborate spoof on Intelligent Design, The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster is neither too elaborate nor too spoofy to succeed in nailing the fallacies of ID. It's even wackier than Jonathan Swift's suggestion that the Irish eat their children as a way to keep them from being a burden, and it may offend just as many people, but Henderson, described elsewhere as a 25-year-old "out-of-work physics major," puts satire to the same serious use that Swift did. Oh, yes, it is very funny. -- Scientific American
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Translation Cockney to English
Hang on hang on, hang about, you think that there’s a big ball of italian food at heaven’s door. Do you even realise how offensive this may be to some christians! Pastafarians are you stupid or what. Get a life you’re no worse that them Jahova’s Wittnesses or them Hari Krishna ones. You need to get out more you know. My brain capacity is bigger then yours.
A great big up yours to you all.
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People draw their own similarities/parallels between Pastafarianism and Christianity, and they tell us Christians may find it offensive? Maybe we should take a page from them and start spamming Islamic sites with ignorant hate mail because we can draw similarities between the two religions and how they choose justify themselves.
Oh well, they’re entertaining all the same, whether or not its manufactured by Bobby or other Pastafarians, or written by Christian haters who stumbled upon the site while in the process of searching for pasta fetish websites.
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His brain capacity IS greater. There’s so much empty room there.
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How elegant!
This guy has nothing more interessant to do?(like writing lessons).
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Oh sweet irony! Being called brainless, or being told that last sentence by someone who can’t even type worth shit. :P
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I would call this a: Brain Like A B-B In A Boxcar syndrome.
RAmen
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Brain Like A B-B In A Boxcar
The capacity’s there the brain isn’t.
RAmen
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if people find this offensive then what about the drawing, YOU could offend some people too. so really you are just a hypocrate.
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yeah, if your brain capacity was so big the WHERE DID YOU LEARN TO SPELL. i think you’re the one that needs to get a life. and maybe even finish fourth grade.
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ang on ang on , ang abaat , u fink that theres a big fat bearded man at the pearly gates . do you even realise how offensive this may be to some pastafarians ! , christians r u stupid or wat . get a life ur no worse that them jahovis wittneses or dem ary chrishna ones . u need to get out more u kno. my brain capacity is bigger then urs
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“do you even realise how offensive this may be to some christians ! , pastafarians r u stupid or wat”
… You tell us our religion is offensive because we have different views, and then you insult us? I say your religion is the offensive one.
“my brain capacity is bigger then urs”
It may be that, but having a big capacity doesn’t make you a smart person.
Having a brain does.
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Hmm… I doubt this one is real. Smells fishy.
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A large brain capacity and you still can;t remember how to spell simple words like “are”, “you”, “what”. At least I think that’s what you were trying to say. Yes I know about shorthand but if you are going to try to make a point you could be articulate, or at least spell properly.
RAmen
P.S. What does “abaat” mean, really, even taking into account the accent you tried to instill into your text it defies so many laws of spelling.
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Sorry about the double post but since no-one else has thanked Dan for the translation I’ll take the time to say a heartfelt thank you. I finally see the extent of his … ah, “brain capacity”.
RAmen
P.S. I apologize for the typo in my previous message.
P.P.S. If anyone would like to see Dans translation go back one or two pages from the one this comment is on.
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how many people can you say the pastifairian religion has caused? maybe one or two somwhere at best. where you guys kinda responsible for the irish civil war burning of the protiestants, the cursades. so where i get lost is how WE are offesnsive in that we have a sense of humor and your history of violence and death is somehow less offensive? please do explain
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….. Please dear FSM tell me this isn’t real.
I would like to take the time to explain how our “Brain Capacity” IS larger than yours.
1. Pastafarians are not ignorant. We accept different beliefs, but believe that it should not be forced upon others.
2. We have an OBVIOUS difference on grammar. But you probably haven’t understood a word I’ve said. Heres something you will. LERN TU SPEL!
3. We don’t use profanity to prove a point, we use it because it mocks you just that much more.
So please. Do us all a favor and get back into that public education system. You need the english classes more than most.
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I… cant understand most of what you typed… But please, go through our hate mail section. We understand that we may offend some by offering our honest opinions, and that our feelings may not be for everyone, but don’t you think that some of the things there may have offended the Pastafarians here? You just flipped us off in a… rather large manner… That wouldn’t offend us? Please… learn to respect our beliefs, pick up a bible, and be touched. Oh the things you will learn. We have explained… And won’t you feel foolish when my noodley love meets me in heaven, maybe even along with you? With plenty of beer at hand, of course.
-Concerned Pastafarian
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it’s a joke. ?he is writing in a cockney accent, beginning with ‘hang on hang on, what’s all this about’. it might not be very funny, but it’s fan mail rather than hate mail
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Thas why they call him terry tibbs
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Yeah…… Your grammar sucks…
You fail to realize this website exists because many so called Christians don’t realize their aggressiveness can offend other peoples…. I don’t like being assualted in mall by evangelists…..
I don’t like having Radicals try to turn my nation into a theocracy….
I find it offensive…..
Still I have to give you credit for inventiveness with the fingers….
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“my brain capacity is bigger then urs ”
………… *Cannot type right now, is completely consumed by laughter*
Do these trolls have nothing better to do than spend hours making anti-FSM ASCII art?
“u fink that theres a big ball of italian food at the pearly gates .”
It’s not so much a pearly gate as it is a giant, properly cleaned plate.
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LOL at the irony of this.
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“do you even realise how offensive this may be to some christians ! ”
-(note the spaces) Do you even realiZe (the Z as well) how offensive YOU are to some Christians? I mean, I’m an Atheist/Pastafarian, and even I am offended for the Christians. Seriously man, go get a grammar book and flip it to the punctuation and capitalization section. It will do you some good, I promise (that is, assuming you know how to read. It’s possible you just randomly typed keys and got this shitty email).
“, pastafarians r u stupid or wat .”
- Here we go again…
A)Sentences NEVER begin with a comma!
B)That is a question, or interrogative statement. It needs a question mark. This leads us to:
C)There is NO space before end punctuation.
I believe what you would really like to say as the intelligent person that you are is this:
Pastafarians, are you stupid or what?
Don’t even get me started on the last sentence! OMFSM!
~Kicker of Awesome and Merciless Tyrant of Cool,
Lauren
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You have a bigger brain capacity?
Then maybe use it to type correctly? That’d be awesome.
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Not very original morgan.
There’s some real ACII creativity back on this 2007 thread..check out
some of the unique creative contributions…
http://www.venganza.org/2007/06/20/hi/
morgan’s is identical to #80 there….yawn..
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Just thought I might say to “KickAwesome” that he did spell realise right; he just used the ‘correct’ British spelling of it… which makes sense as he is trying to do a cockney accent. Really I think this is a parody of the other hate mail more than anything else. Anyway this website is genius, although I would never believe in any of it, as an atheist, I think it is great to get the religious people thinking about what they really believe in.
Sam.
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Having a brain usually allows people to type correctly.
Man,
it’s surprising that so called “Christians” waste their time trying to convert everyone.
YAY FSM!
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Technically Spaghetti is an Italian American dish not Italian. LEARN YOUR FOOD. This religion is just as true as Christianity or any other religion, your ‘proof’ of God is a book, so is ours.
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Yes, the capacity of your brain is obviously musch larger than all of ours…
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If we’re offending “some Christians,” let them speak up. They’re just as able to send scalding hate mail as you, and most have done so with proper spelling.
Oh, and very clever with the “double deuce” flipoff. No one’s ever used that before.
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I don’t know why I keep coming back to this site.
It really just depresses me that some people are so intolerant.
Is it just me, or do people suck?
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Ooh, yes. The middle fingers are so mature. Amazing that you spent all that time just to yell at us for not believing in everything you do.
Oh, and my brain capacity is higher than yours because I can spell, dipshit. Was he, like, missing the “H” on his keyboard or something?
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Why are you guys ticked off? If you’re going to get upset, then don’t read hate mail. :/ personally, this stuff cracks me up. My dad and I were laughing so hard we cried to some of these letters.
That’s cool how they did that, with the middle fingers. handy for a punkass like me, lol. guess what my new email siggy is? :D
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…………../´¯/).. ..………(\¯`\
…………/….//. ………….\\….\
………../….//.. …………..\\…. \
…../´¯/…./´¯\… ……../¯`\….\¯`\
.././…/…./…./. |_……_|.\….\… .\…\.\..
(.(….(….(…./.) ..)..(..(.\….)…. )….).)
.\…………….\/ …/….\…\/…… ………. you, and your belifs
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I’ll worry about offending Christians when they stop belittling my beliefs as a Pastafarian. F****n chav wanker crawl back into your caravan park hovel and shut up.
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He spelled maybe… 3? words right in the entire letter thingy.
Yet he had the time and mental capacity to make a double flip-off?
Ahh, I love this world of ours.
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Is this English or hieroglyphs?
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I love the double middle fingers, thats awesome I wish I could do that but FSM says if someone has slapped your meat ball give them the other one.
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“jahovis wittneses”
Isn’t that a brand of bread?? lol! Your brain capacity really shines through though. Especially with all your perfect grammar and big words… like pastafarians – did you copy and paste that??
I love coming to this website to have a good chuckle at the hate mail.
I really cannot see how people cannot see past the irony and sarcasm that is FSMism. I have so little faith in humanity.
RAmen
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LOL
Brain Capacity? Sureeee.
learn to spell, and do some research. honestly, this hate mail is great ^^
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Holy Shit (yes intended) cockney race hate!
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if ur brayn is so big then why do u tok in txt?
Jeesh.. and by the way, the gates aren’t “pearly”, they’re hyper-condensed spaghetti noodles.
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this should be just as offensive to christains as judaism and isalm. You would really think that just because someone believes in a different god than you that they are stupid? That makes you are racist.
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Did anyone else notice the dialect was some what piratish? mabey she/he is a modern pirate yet to be touched by his noodly appendage
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Why all the trolls, aren’t the real ones funny enough?
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I like your art work.
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haha, oh my. you really believe that what you’re saying is true?! i think that you need to step back and take a good look at what you said, because it is definitely a lot more discriminative (sp?) than what mr. henderson has said. you’re being very offensive to any pastafarians out there, jahovas (sp?) witnesses, AND ari chrishnas (sp?). start to understand your place in the world, and realize, we’re all human, and all have rights to believe what we wish. and sweetheart, if your “brain capacity” was bigger than ours, i’m SURE you would know how to spell words such as “hang”.
thanks a bunch for your shitty grammar morgan ;D
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Oh, okay, but offending a whole myriad of other religions is okie dokie is it?
At least you gave us the finger with some artistic talent, although – and despite your claims of higher “brain capacity” – I suspect that was a swift copy and paste jobbie wasn’t it, eh?
If that was genuinely your work then let me offer some advice – keep your messages to picture form, a bit like Pictionary, since your grammar, spelling and sentence structure aren’t doing much to bolster your claims of a higher intelligence…
Brain *capacity*? Seriously?
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If you brain is that big morgan, then how come you can’t spell nor come up with a thing you didn’t copy and paste from a site as old as the interntet itself?
Back to your studies young man/woman. Just be careful while using the school computor. You don’t wanna get caught and ruin it for everyone else.
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You should really fill up that empty space in your head.
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