This is a complete mockery of god. You all are going to hell for that.
P.S Don’t even think that a Damned spaghetti thing made-up by an asshole will save you.
-T
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An elaborate spoof on Intelligent Design, The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster is neither too elaborate nor too spoofy to succeed in nailing the fallacies of ID. It's even wackier than Jonathan Swift's suggestion that the Irish eat their children as a way to keep them from being a burden, and it may offend just as many people, but Henderson, described elsewhere as a 25-year-old "out-of-work physics major," puts satire to the same serious use that Swift did. Oh, yes, it is very funny. -- Scientific American
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Why do you turn away from the light and love of the Flying Spaghetti Monster?
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This is a complete mockery of God. We all are don’t believe in hell.
P.S We don’t even think that a damned spaghetti thing made-up by an awesome asshole will save us.
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I feel for you hommie. You can’t accept your death. It might not be your fault. Maybe you’re from the bible belt and have lemmings for parents and are in turn, a lemming yourself, following your creepy family off the cliff. Why do you believe in Christianity when science is almost daily making it more difficult to refute the truth? we evolved (well, some of us). I think you just want to feel like there is life after death. I would LOVE to believe that, but I can’t. Is it my fault? You can’t force yourself to believe in something, and I just CAN’T believe. You wanna know what happens after we die? I’ll tell you right now and you’ll think about it, and realize I’m right. After you die, you go to the same place you were before you were conceived by your lemming parents. Do you remember where you were before that time? NOBODY DOES!!! Thats because they weren’t alive, like you wont be in several years. So, to sum it up. If you’re not in existence before you were conceived, and can’t remember anything, then I think it’s safe to say you didn’t have a soul either. That means your parents created you AND your so-called soul, therefore humans are spirit creators and therefore the true Gods that supply your God with fresh souls to win the war against Satan (which by the way sounds even more ridiculous than a fucking flying spaghetti any day) and he is in humanity’s debt(especially those fuckers on welfare that keep popping out kids…and souls). Now you get it?
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Parody, not mockery. OK, some mockery, but it is not directed at God so much as at the people who would probably embarrass and shame Jesus and his dad (a single parent, by the way) if they were around to hear what his followers (term used loosely, since they seem to be speaking as if they were God) are saying and see what they were doing. Wait! What does the book of Job say happens to people who speak for God?
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T, I agree with you. I really do.
I mock every single zealot, fantatical christian, born again christian or any other person who believes so strongly in an un-proveable(excuse my spelling) diety.
In the words of Terry Goodkind, “Turning away from Reason is treason to one’s self.”
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Mock,mock,mock…wait…which god?
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Oy, Adam: Speak to Eve. She’ll tell ya the FSM (may pesto be upon him) isn’t interested in “saving you”. He’s just floating around (and popping up in various restaurants) to keep you from believing in really weird things (eg: like your mythical best friend can “save you”).
Just be good, be here, be humorous. That’s WAY better than being sent out to throw rocks at your wife or set your son alight.
Peace. AArrrgh – sorry that slipped out.
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You’re just jealous of our fountain of beer and strippers afterlife. It is what you wanted all along and your God won’t give it to you. I find that very sad and I pray that by the FSM you will be touched by His Noodly Appendage. Being so Touched, you will find yourself saved without having to do a shot of Jesus and eating a Hostie.
I hope that one day you will understand how it feels to be saved by Our Noodly Lord. Until then rot in hell, bigot.
Have a nice day!
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We’re not making fun of god. We’re making fun of you. BTW, it’s God, not god. Are you dissing your own deity? You’re in trouble now…
Arg
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@Demi:
Learn to spell. Learn to type. Then study up on the definition of satire, and read the Open Letter. Then shut up and go away.
@Dr. John Steichen:
I’d be very interested in your scientific explanation of how that Jesus fella converted that water into wine, or parted the Red Sea, or any of several other scientifically impossible stunts. I’m also curious about the relationship between stability and density, I can’t seem to recall that particulat theory.
@ negative T
Go jump in the lake. Your opinions are pretty close to worthless in my view. Your judgement is completely worthless, as it appears to be based on something other than reality.
I don’t expect to hear back from any of these folks, anyhow. Throw rocks and run away.
RAmen
ET
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there is absoulotley no evidence to support chritianity or god so y do u say it is a mockery of sumthin that isnt even proved real yet thats like saying if i mock robin hood (there is still debate about he being real or not)and u giving out to me for mocking him would you do that simply because you belive and someone else doesnt its amazing the way christians can just say that things arent real and everyone belives them simply because they are a domanet force in the western world.
RAmen to all
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Why am I hungry for Ramen Noodles???
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I’d like to point out that I have had considerably more sex than you!
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Correction: you’re the one going to hell for not believing in the divine FSM.
RAmen
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i would just like to make a point about hell if i may ..
A thermodynamics professor wrote a take home exam for his graduate students. It had one question: “Is hell exothermic or endothermic? Support your answer with a proof.”
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle’s Law or some variant. One student, however wrote the following:
First, we postulate that if souls exist, then they must have some mass. If they do, then a mole of souls can also have a mass.
So, at what rate are souls moving into hell and at what rate are souls leaving? I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.
As for souls entering hell, lets look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Some of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to hell. Since, there are more than one of these religions and people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all people and all souls go to hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in hell to increase exponentially.
Now, we look at the rate of change in the volume of hell. Boyle’s Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in hell to stay the same, the ratio of the mass of souls and volume needs to stay constant.
So, if hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter hell, then the temperature and pressure in hell will increase until all hell breaks loose.
Of course, if hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until hell freezes over.
We can solve this with the 1990 postulation of Theresa LeClair, the girl who lived across the hall from me in first year residence. She stated that she would have sex with me “when hell freezes over”. Since I had sexual relations with her last night, condition two above must be true, and thus it can be concluded that condition two is true, and hell is exothermic.
The result of this theory is that since Hell has frozen, it does not accept souls anymore. This leaves us with heaven, which proves the existence of a divine being, may his noodley appendage touch you all, and thus explains why Theresa last night repeatedly screamed “Oh my god!”.
Proof that the great and noodley one is the one and only god to sort of wander along with if you feel like it
arrrrrrgh
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opps .. his noodley appendage changed my text as i typed it , as he does in his most mysterious and unfathomable way and that should have been Endothermic , i think lol darn his noodley appendage , mixing it up like that … grrrrrrrr …
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Which god is being mocked? Ra, Thor, Zeus? There’s way too many to choose from.
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You Need Me.
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Three choices:
1. There is no God, so what does it matter what we joke about?
2. He/She/It does exist, but doesn’t give a damn about what we do.
3. He/She/It does exist, but is either incompetent, sadistic or both, so
the hell with it.
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Dear Mr. ‘T’,
My, what an elaborate, well thought, and watertight argument against our beliefs. I can see no possible rebuttal whatsoever to your comment, Mr. T. I have truly seen the err of my ways. I am flabbergasted, shocked even, that I have not followed the Christian way of peace and truth until now. Certainly you and your esteemed colleagues (both past and future) are welcome here to post your messages of hope, light, and exemplary English grammar.
Thank you,
“Capt’n Squints”
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Brothers and Sisters,
I always felt a special connection, well, ahm… a divine connection between me and my spaghetti plate: as I child, dressed-up as a pirate; I didnt and I couldnt understand this deep link because nobody opened my eyes.
Oh yes, my brothers I was a sinner… However, the FSM monster saved me and huged me with his noodle arms giving me a saucy kiss. RAmen!!!
“´Relgious” friends dont be afraid. The FSM will wait for you with open noodles… dont be afraid you´ll be saved toooooooo. Dress like a pirate and join the FSM.
RAmen
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If heaven is full of pricks like you I think I’d rather be in hell (where the cool folks who believe in the FSM will be hanging out)!
Anyway you fanatics are so boring… can’t you think of something original to say??
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Oooooo I’m so scared, MOMMY!! NO I DON’T WAT TO GO TO HELL!11!!1!1ONE!!1
Awww Poor god does the this remind him of when he was teased in third grade?
Who said I wanted to be saved?
Am I drowning?
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I second Dan. And yes, yes it is.
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Well, we may be mocking god, but you smell funny!
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People like you are the reason ironic religions exist. Ever thought about that?
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I just think it all comes down to breakdancing ability – of which you obviously have none. His Noodly Goodness was the greatest breakdancer of them all and we all relish in his breakdancing ability. Frankly, we’re not interested in any other deity that doesn’t preach breakdancing prowess.
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as billy joel once sang: i’d rather laugh with the sinners than cry with the saints.
ramen
V
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172 Kason Says:
“Awww Poor god does the this remind him of when he was teased in third grade?”
.
For a supposedly all powerful omnipotent being, this particular god sure seems rather fragile and insecure. Perhaps it’s time its followers had it checked out for NPD (narcissistic personality disorder)
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@ PETE THE PIRATE (#165)
Thanks for the great story. When I took physical chemistry, I never truly understood all of that thermodynamics shit. This analysis clarifies points that I’ve pondered in lonely late-night hours for years. It also gives me hope knowing that hell has indeed frozen over at last and I may get to heaven after all.
If there were any brass monkeys in hell, their balls must be rolling all over the floor.
Keep The Faith Brother Pete,
FLIEGENDED NUDELN, The Airborne Master of the Noodles Cherubim
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#168 Jesus says “You Need Me”
Suger and sh… I just saw this post! Ladies, gentlemen and pirates, Jesus has written in our forum. Well, I’m impressed and will immediately convert to Christianity because
We now have proof he exists (as anything written on the internet must be true)
I need him apparently – I do admit, my moral code based on creating as much happiness as I can in the world just doesn’t thrill me like it used to (the ladies aren’t as keen to let me make them ‘happy’ now I’m getting fatter). So it’s the Xian philosophy of persecuting minorities based on their lifestyles and promoting unsound, unscientific ideology to resolve societies problems.
Cheers Jesus, you just saved me from a life of goodness and guilt free sex!
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TRANSLATION:
This is a complete mockery of god. You all are going to hell for that.
MEANING: “this is not how I was told by my parents and peers of what god must look like, I am confused. I also am not able to understand an internet site. Because you don’t believe what I believe, I’m told that you are going to an imaginary place of which I think I will not go to. Not realizing that, by the real rules of my religion, I probably am.”
P.S Don’t even think that a Damned spaghetti thing made-up by an asshole will save you.
MEANING: “some angry name calling fed by confusion and ‘we vs them’ psychology.”
-T
MEANING: “I am not going to give you my name, because I’m a coward. I’d rather stay anonymous. I don’t really stand behind what I’m saying.”
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You know it’s like when you were a kid and there was this stupid, hyperterritorial dog that was fenced in some nut job neighbor’s yard. All you had to do was walk by and psychpathic mutt would entertain you by trying to chew his way throug the fence to get at you. That what nut jobs like “t” are like. A huge source of entertainment.
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People! why are you wasting your time throwing hate at each other. Can’t we all be doing something to better each other build each other up as fellow human beings. We all have to deal with other problems in the world. We don not need to bother wasting time arguing over this. Whether or not who’s god is the real one, there are things we can be doing to make a difference that do not involve arguing over this. Show some love guys.
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Thank you so much for showing me the way, i love your new thoughts of religion. I now see the path down life, leading me to his noodly love. I would like to see more people join, and see how pirateering will help you along the way. If you do not see the connection between the christian lord and ninjas you are obviously not looking. I would like to state once and for all that pirates outrank ninjas forever, no matter what. I am glad to finally find a home with the great pirate FMS. Thank you.
Love,
Your Daughter’s Kidnapper (if you don’t have a daughter, exactly) gone FMS Worshipper
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but the Flying Spaghetti Monster WILL save us. Your god is just a bunch of crap :/
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@180 Fliegenden Nudeln .. thanks for the compliment my piratey friend , may your sails always be full of wind, i found the “story” in my email one day and ‘lo ! the noodley one gave me a chance to use his wisdom against these poor deluded and what appears to be very insecure christians, hopefully they will learn the errors of their ways and come to the same conclusions i have :) that pasta and meatballs in sauce taste good and that is as much a religious experience that more people should enjoy
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Well I’ve got a back up plan for when I die and if Heaven it real. I’ll confess to God and go to Heaven. But that’s on the slim chance he is real. The FSM is pure fact, I believe don’t you?
RAmen.
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Mock
Mock mock
Mock mock mock. Isn’t that the noise chickens make?
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No… moking god will be a waist of time..
it will be like moking an imaginery frend.
we are moking relligias ppl.. like YOU =]
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Now that’s the love your religion promotes!
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I just don’t see how you posting this could help anything, this does not show the True Love of God in any way, shape or form! No wonder Christians are looked on as such total Hypicrites. We all fall short!
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Its so funny how people get so pissed off about this. But it strikes such a tune I should probably convert from Atheism. I mean FSM won the right to put the deity next to Jesus how can it be fake???
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WOuld somebody please point out to these mental midgets that this isn’t mocking God, but mocking the use of religious explanations for natural phenomena in science classes? Specifically biology. *THAT* is what is being mocked! And so it should be!
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OMG! I worship His Holy Noodleness! I love Pirates! And Harry Potter! I MUST be going to YOUR Hell.
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I would like to something in defense of ninja. While pirates are the awesomest, ninja are really cool in there own respects. Can I get a little love for the ninja? (Still love pirates the best though!)
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pete the pirate: awesome story! thx for posting it!
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MY Philosophy regarding myself as a devout Pastafarian can best be summed up in one holy picture;
Ramen
http://www.nataliedee.com/040506/cat-ass.jpg
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I am very curious about your Deity. If I go to the “Olive Garden” and order the all you can eat Spaghetti, does this mean I have inadvertently shared communion with your God? Does the breaking of the soft bread stick have any symbolic meaning? In creating an image of the tasty Deity, can the eyes be made of black olives?
If you are of Italian descent, does that make you pastafarian by birth, or is it necessary to always convert?
I don’t mean any disrespect, just honest questions.
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This is stupid. I’m a christian, and this religion is rediculous.
Keep it up.
I can’t help but laugh when I read these posts by people who are offended. FSM is the most amazing thing that I have seen in quite a while. And, if it is capable of pissing off crazy religious types, I’m ready to convert.
Kudos, FSM. Kudos.
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