This is a complete mockery of god. You all are going to hell for that.
P.S Don’t even think that a Damned spaghetti thing made-up by an asshole will save you.
-T
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An elaborate spoof on Intelligent Design, The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster is neither too elaborate nor too spoofy to succeed in nailing the fallacies of ID. It's even wackier than Jonathan Swift's suggestion that the Irish eat their children as a way to keep them from being a burden, and it may offend just as many people, but Henderson, described elsewhere as a 25-year-old "out-of-work physics major," puts satire to the same serious use that Swift did. Oh, yes, it is very funny. -- Scientific American
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Shouldn’t you be spelling god with a capital “G”?
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FSM is not made by the asshole. That’s where It *leaves* the body, somewhere between the antipasti, the carne and the dolci, possibly supplemented by a ristretto. The latter, though, prefers to leave via another channel.
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Weak.
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“A complete mockery of god”?
Why yes, yes it is. Observational skills truly staggering here. Oh and at least I award MY God the luxury of capital letters in His title – The Flying Spaghetti Monster…can you say the say the same?
“You all are going to hell for that”
I doubt that. Note also the lack of capital letters AGAIN. I believe the appropriate order of words would be – You ARE ALL going to Hell for that.
Touched by His Noodly and clearly pwning Appendage
RAmen
P.S. Awk damn, I just thought it… Better one asshhole than a multitude I say :P
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You’re a tool.
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Chapter 8
Sarah Calan was fastened by the strap to the Alaskan National Guard’s only Huey which they kept to defend their homeland in case Mr Sputum of Russia decided to rear his head and cross over into Alaskan airspace. Little Tripe was held by her eight month pregnant daughter who was securely belted in while mommy hung half outside the chopper training her high powered rifle on a pack of grey wolves while Wagner’s Ride of the Valkiries played on the vehicles loudspeakers. Govenor Calan was pissed. Not only did she and her running mate, Senator McFeign get stomped in the general election, but neither her nor anyone in her family had been lifted up into heaven. Damn it, she was being “Left Behind’. Talk about a cruel irony. Well today she was taking it out on an endangered species. Screw the environmentalists, they’ll have bigger fish to fry than worrying about some viscious scavenger, and they won’t care about the grey wolves either, she thought to herself.
Chapter 9
“Where did they go?” President Bahamma asked the head of NEA.
“Mr President, we lost track of the swarm after they passed the moon. Apparantly, sunlight does not reflect off the buttocks or the Rapture Christians to the extent we thought it did, so they will remain invisible as they continue their journey.”
“I wonder if there’s a sign out there past Pluto that reads “Heaven, 15 billion Parsecs” with an arrow pointing the way?”
That was the question of the National Science Advisor, Dr Dawkings. Kinda sarcastic, thought the President, but he was needed in the room nonetheless;
“So, let me get this straight,” said President Bahamma, “The Albedo of the buttocks or the Rapture Christians, isn’t all it’s cracked up to be?”
“Precisely, Mr President” both Nea and Science Advisor chimed in unison
From the Upcoming Novel “Glad To Be Left Behind” by neal
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Just when I thought we Pastafarians were doing so well. Now it looks like we’re doomed. Dang!
Pass the pasta and grog.
RAmen
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God and Hell are a complete mockery of modern intelligence.
What if we told you the Spaghetti thing was 2000 years old and defined by people who never saw it?
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No, THIS is a complete mockery of god,
“Ooh look at me I’m god! I expect people to follow a 2000 year old book that has been manipulated horribly through the years – that includes that rape is the woman’s fault and you should stone her to death, and slavery is Oakley dokely, and that you should kill people who go to work on Sunday, (or should you? I have a multiple personality disorder and often contradict my self!) And many many more! — if you don’t follow these rules, I’ll simply force you to suffer for eternity! And with the self contradictions, well that’s your problem not mine! You better follow all of them! (or else.)” No wait, that’s what is true about the biblical god, here is a mockery, “Ooh, look, I am god, I like wearing dresses and smell like a dead goat!” AH-HAHA! I crack me up.
You’re the one whose going to waste the ONLY mortal life you have, and don’t even think that this damned spaghetti thing is going to rescue you if you don’t start being nice.
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hay i think this is a great idea and i dont believe in hell so shuv that up your butt and smoke it! oh ya and isnt swearing a sin? haha i got you you are a freakin hipocrit.
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May the sauce from his noodly appendage splatter hottest and tastiest on those who call others “asshole”.
Sauce be with you.
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You know, I went to a Freedom From Religion Foundation convention this past weekend, and there was no one there as intolerant as you are. Everyone was very happy and welcoming – and when I wore my Pastafarian T-shirt so many people came up and said they are also Pastafarians! C’mon Dude, there is no hell, so get over it. You apparently were born without a sense of humor, irony or fun. Poor you!
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lol@you.
P.S we and our “spaghetti thing” pity you and your pathetic god :)
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Christianity is a complete mockery of god. You all are going to hell for that.
P.S Don’t even think that a Damned Jewish Zombie thing made-up by a bunch og assholes will save you.
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Yes.
Thank you.
Next.
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Do you have any proof that your God exists any more than this one?
No really if you reply I’ll be so shocked.
Anyway, hell has stale beer and below par strippers. It doesn’t sound too bad.
The only thing burning in hell will be tastebuds and itchy burning crotches…
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Have you come to our online church just to mock our God and prophet?
How very dare you?!
Needless to say you’re going to hell for that, and when you do, come to ours because it’s much nicer here than yours.
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He will save us just as much as a damned person thing made up by lots of arseholes will save you
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Yes. Yes it is. And no, no they’re not.
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Much hate, in this one, I sense.
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First of all, that “Damned spaghetti thing” IS god, so saying that this web site is a complete mockery of god (the FSM) is ridiculous. This website in all aspects is honouring and worshiping the FSM.
Secondly, all of us using this website (apart from you obviously) are showing that we honour and worship the FSM simply by logging on every now and then. So none of us will be going to this hell place you speak of.
Thirdly, even if the FSM was “made-up” (which he/she (our lord could be either gender) is not), then it can’t have possibly been made up by an asshole. This is because an asshole is an asshole. It does not have a brain to invent something nor the fingers to type something on a computer.
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I don’t think we mock the Spaghetti Monster. Whatever gave you that idea?
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So…which god exactly?
Hell huh? Must be a Christian then, of course there are many diverging types of Christians as it seems they cant all agree on the details. So which Christian splinter group/cult/god do you belong to? I think I should know which god I should be so worried about. Or I could go on living my life quite happily without someones one and only true god (funny how they can all be right) crammed up me arse!
Long live FSM!
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The lazy xian’s Madlib hate-mail letter:
Identification: Left blank.
Off-handed compliment: Left blank.
Condemnation: One short sentence. Only one typo. (”God” not capitalized. Funny omission, that.)
Bible Quotations: Left blank. (Not even any numbers.)
Threat: One short sentence, no adjectives.
Insult against competing deity: One sentence, one adjective. (At least it’s capitalized for more punch.)
Insult against prophet: Checkbox A checked. No adjectives checked.
Plea to Repent: No check boxes checked.
Really, this is beneath the minimal effort for a stock hate-mail letter. Next time, please follow the instructions and fill out all the text boxes.
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Christianity is a complete mockery of my God! Your not going to hell because of it, but I don’t think you’ll get as much beer as the rest of us!
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There is no conflict between science and the belief in God. There is no conflict in the words of Jesus and Science.
Science is the study of what happened after God initiated the observable universe. The existance of God is as good an explanation as any of the force that disturbed that initial point source singularity to spark the Big Bang. Because of its infinite density, that singularity must be considered rather stable in nature. The collective intelligence of mankind is probably not a strong enough force to solve this problem any other way. If they do come up with a solution or theory it will probably require a lot of faith and be rather lacking in evidence, bring you back to your original problem
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As persuasive as may be your plea to turn to a vengeful and hate-filled controller of destinies with no sense of humor, I can’t find it within my heart, nor my brain, to follow you there.
I can find it within my lunch box, however, to enjoy a lovely pesto-coated noodliness that brings happiness, comfort and a full belly to all who wish it.
I am very un-sorry that your hateful and angry spewage was unsucessful in drawing anyone to your point of view. Also, I am un-surprised. Are you?
aRRRRAmen.
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You are an idiot, go away.
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Always nice to see that christian warmth and love. (”God loves everyone, so long as they don’t have the gall to believe differently from me” Haha… *sigh*)
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Mr. T, thanks for the tip, although you might want to consider that we would rather spend an eternity in hell than spend it with santimonious buttheads like you. I think that having to listen to baseless pap spouted incessantly by complete morons for all eternity sounds like the worst sort of punishment imaginable. Personally, I’d rather have flames shooting out of my eyeballs. It even sounds cooler.
But seriously, I think we both know that’s all a bunch of hooey because I’ll be drinking up at the beer volcano while you have to drink stale beer and clean up after our party.
Ramen!!
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Please don’t use the name of the flying spaghetti monster in vain.
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You can go around and make yourself feel good by criticizing the religious beliefs of others; instead, you should ask yourself how you know what constitutes mockery of an omnipotent being. Because, of course, the Bible can’t be wrong, can it? It can’t be subject to thousands of years of literal, metaphorical, and linguistic translational errors, can it? Of course not! The Bible was never intended to be used as a weapon of intolerance(Falwell, 2002) so I implore you to reconsider your position, lest you find yourself in the metaphorical “hot seat” when your judgement is upon you.
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Don’t even think that a Damned invisible bearded man in the sky thing made-up by an asshole will save you.”
Ya see, I can do it too.
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yes you are right!
only a damned god ade-up by an asshole will save me =]
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Of course it is. It’s supposed to be.
Now suck it up and live with the fact that religion isn’t science and shouldn’t be taught in schools.
You want religion taught? Do it at home.
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Prove to me that your (oops you goofed – lower case) god exists and is not a figment of His Noodley Goodness and I’ll start to worry.
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Frankly, the theory of intelligent design is a complete mockery of intelligence!
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There’s no such thing as god you idiots.
Get offended all you want, but if god were real wouldn’t he get offended and smite the webmaster?
Ya buncha medieval schmucks.
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Yay! I’m being threatened to eternal torment from a complete stranger that worships an all-loving god!
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Which god?
And FSM is very real indeed. There is nothing to be saved from except ignorance – everyone will taste the beer volcanoes in heaven. I will pray that you be touched by His noodly appendage. Ramen!
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Or is God a mockery of the FSM…
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Wrong, god is a mockery of a Flying Spaghetti Monster.
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Okay, I like how Christians harrass everybody who isn’t Christian, then turn around and say that it’s perfectly okay to live the way you want. Can you smell the hypocrisy?
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Blasphemy! You lie, never doubt the Great Flying Spaghetti Monster! You are a mockery to god because apparently in a previous hate mail, you should be a kind person. Anyway, Id rather believe in FSM. The Vatican is nothing but conspiracy using their power to hide secrets and keep people in line.
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Do you have proof.
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Christians say the damnedest things.
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Your god is a mockery of my God. Stop that. It’s not nice.
Don’t you study your “8 I really rather wouldn’ts”? are are you still harping about your prevolved 10 commandments?
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Well…yeah, FSM is the God of mockery, especially god-mockery. And don’t think calling calling him a “damned sphaghetti thing etc” is going to save you.
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Saying that you know what actions will bring salvation or damnation is just as hollow and pernicious as Osama Bin Laden telling his people that flying airplanes into buildings would make them go to heaven.
You self-delusional hypocrite. Get a grip.
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Actually, this “complete mockery” is my belief system. I feel that those of you God worshipers are rather close minded for singling our His Noodliness as a target of your hatred. Why don’t you go after Mohammed or Buddha, or Elvis for crying out loud and leave us alone. Oh, and wait one minute – doesn’t your Bible say “Judge not lest ye be judged” and that only God (with Jesus at his side) will pass said judgment on Judgment Day, sooooo the next question is, who are you to Judge???
Ramen.
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