This is a complete mockery of god. You all are going to hell for that.
P.S Don’t even think that a Damned spaghetti thing made-up by an asshole will save you.
-T
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An elaborate spoof on Intelligent Design, The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster is neither too elaborate nor too spoofy to succeed in nailing the fallacies of ID. It's even wackier than Jonathan Swift's suggestion that the Irish eat their children as a way to keep them from being a burden, and it may offend just as many people, but Henderson, described elsewhere as a 25-year-old "out-of-work physics major," puts satire to the same serious use that Swift did. Oh, yes, it is very funny. -- Scientific American
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Dear ignoramus. Sorry, I mean Jake. As a paleontologist, it is part of my job to analyse fossils and work out how old they are. The main technique we use is called carbon-dating. In layman terms, this means that we find chemicals in the fossil, and we can see how old they are based on how much the chemicals have decayed. That is how the earth is 4.5 billion years old.
You also mentioned that we are just attacking christianity, but we are not. As our prophet said: ” I don’t have a problem with religion. What I have a problem with is religion posing as science. If there is a god and he’s intelligent, then I would guess he has a sense of humor.” You see?
Peace and Ramen to you all
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@ Jake # 238
Would you adopt a few of these unwanted kids ? I guess not…
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Jake, please familiarize yourself with the concept of logical fallacies.
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“How do we know how old the earth is? By the different fossils that we have found in different areas that have a certain amount of layers of sediment and rock. Well, then, how do we know the age of the dinosaur? By the position of the fossil in a particular layer of rock. Are you following me?” (Edited for grammar/spelling.)
… I… don’t see the contradiction…?
As for abortion, let’s just agree to disagree – this site has bigger fish to fry. However, consider that if abortion WAS outlawed, lots of women would try to have the surgery performed in more shady circumstances – which usually ends up killing about… how many of them? 30-70%, perhaps? This is a bitof a problem in parts of Africa, where contraceptives and adoption are a big no-no (if they’re known at all), poverty abounds, and the mother makes an ‘educated’ deduction (as educated as they get, not being allowed to go to school most of the time) that they just can’t support another child – either the new arrival would starve, someone else would, or they all would.
Granted, that’s probably not the case in USA, but if you are a good Jesus-man, you’ll care.
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@Jake #238
“there is a total disregard for respect and dignity”
Someone said something like “if people don’t like me to laugh at their believes, they shouldn’t have so funny believes” (sorry, i don’t remember who said it, and i’m translating it twice; so it’s not an exact quote but i’m sure you can understand the meaning).
Besides, I disagree with you; Pastafarianism is too about the human dignity, regardless of each religious election. We don’t think all muslims are going to hell; we don’t think all jews are going to hell; we don’t think all christians that aren’t from our exact sect are wrong and are going to hell.
“There would be people in the streets writhing with anger and horrified with your insensitivit”
If I, particularly, am not criticizing islam is cause I haven’t been so annoyed by muslim zealots as by christian zealots. I’m not from a muslim country and they are not trying to push up in our schools their religion as science. But our FSM showed us that are religions -that are not Pastafarianism, of course- are equally logic and scientific.
“As for the evolution theory, when you study evoluion all you see is circular reasoining. Like for example How do we know how old the earth is?”
And again… “how old the earth is” it’s not a matter for “evolution” to study, sorry. Abiogenesis -how life did his appearance- isn’t also a matter for “evolution” to study. Can you understand that? I think it’s not so difficult. the problem is that, when you are denying the fact of evolution, you are also in disagree with paleonthology, geology, chemistry, physics… ¿do you think really that all our sciences are wrong, ’cause an old book written 2 thousand years ago says it? ¿And are you really saying that the reasoning of sciences are circular, while defending the bible? As for your problem with the age of the earth: read more. There are several ways to estimate the age of a fossil and a rock.
“First If evolution is true than there can’t be a God who is all powerful and will judge us for our sin.”
That’s not true, and even the most radical atheist could assert that. “Evolution” doesn’t say anything about the existence of “God” because magical explanations are outside scientific reasoning. By the way, evolution is a fact.
“Second if there is no God than the Bible no longer exists and hey we no longer have a moral guide to our lives and we can do what ever we want.”
Well, even if there is no God, Bible exists, as a book. As a moral guide from 2000 years ago; violent, classist, sexist and racist as the society that wrote it. And loving and hopeful as the society that wrote the NT, an slave moral. The fact is that atheists also have moral, as societys from all religions. A good one? A bad one? You can’t discuss morality when it comes from a sacred book.
“I guess this means that i can kill all my babies” Afraid not. You know, there are temporal limitations to perform an abortion. It is done before the fetus is really a person. I’ve just remembered now that “onanism” is a deadly sin…
“God forbid that we could be such a selfish nation where we would rob our children of the chance to live life” Not exactly. Well, you know, God’s nation is the jewish people, not your nation -it’s said on the bible. However, they should kill all the kids, women, men and even animals of an enemy nation. And god was very angry when his people wanted to keep the animals… That’s also in the holy bible
“But just because you have a bad day doesn’t mean you should kill yourself so you don’t have to see tomorrow.” Maybe that’s the first sentence I can agree with you.
“and dis regarding the fact that one day they will face death, maybe today,and what will they have accomplished?”
So? We all are afraid to death. We don’t want to death. But we all will death eventually. What when you die and the god that is receiving you is the FSM? (Or Yahve? Alá? Or christian’s god, but not the holy spirit neither jesus?) I’m living my life the better I can, and we’ll speak later with a tasteful beer near the volcano.
RAmen!
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mmm… sorry for the extension!
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I find it really mind boggling how the religious people have missed the whole point of Pastafarianism, and why are the religious people always the most angry / violent people?
I don’t know of any suicide bombings where the person exploding didn’t belive in a god.
Keep on spreading your belifes all you religious people, with your bone fragments a’flyin
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Yeah, well:
You are a complete mockery of the FSM. You are going to hell for it.
P.S. Don’t think that some aged, invisible man in the sky who wished a virgin pregnant will save you.
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Oh my!
You didn’t capitalize the G in God! You know you are going to hell for that.
Or did you mean one of the other thousands of gods from the depths of past human credulity?
ta ta
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T, your “god” isn’t better anyway than ours.
P.S. Fuck you, T!
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Ok, by the looks of all these comments ill be in good company. OR there will be beer, ether way we win.
Ramen
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I love how god gives jagoffs like this the right to damn anyone to hell…
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oh? are we going to hell? hmm.. i thought God were going to forgive everyone for our sins. maybe i got that wrong(too)?
seriously these hate mails makes me laugh xD lol
my english stinks sorry:)
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The idea of God is a mockery of intelligence so that should make things even.
Dreaming of beer volcano’s and stripper factories. Peace
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Uh No – actually it’s a complete mockery of Intelligent Design.
If you wish to discuss deities; however, explain to me (IF you are a Christian) the need to worship a cosmic Jewish Zombie who was his own father – can make you live forever if you symbolically eat his flesh and telepathically tell him you accept him as your master, so he can remove an evil force from your soul that is present in humanity because a rib-woman was convinced by a talking snake to eat from a magical tree.
Mountains, Trees and a Midget. Pretty simple. Be excellent to each other and party on dudes! Much better procession of faith – IMHO
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I hate how Christians are always like God forgives…Then why did he just say that we will burn in hell! Some Christian he is.
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261 – December 7th, 2008 at – inufan5 Says:
Ok, by the looks of all these comments ill be in good company. OR there will be beer, ether way we win.
Ramen
262 – December 18th, 2008 at – keepfoldingit Says:
I love how god gives jagoffs like this the right to damn anyone to hell…
Death of a Pagan
A Pagan died and, much to her surprise, found herself at the Pearly Gates facing St. Peter. He walked up to her and said, “Hello, and welcome.”
She stared at St. Peter in complete confusion. “Wait a minute,” she said. “I was supposed to end up in the Summerlands.”
He smiled. “Ah, you must be one of our Pagan sisters. Follow me, please.”
St. Peter gestured for her to follow him down a small path which went through the gates and down a bit to the left. They walked for a short while, then he stepped back and gestured her forward. Looking past his hand, she saw the verdant fields and forests of her desired Summerlands. She saw people feasting, dancing, and making merry, exactly as she expected. While shaking her head in wonder, the Pagan happened to glance over to one side; she saw a small group of people a short way away from the edge of the Summerlands. They were watching the revelers, but not joining them; instead, they were screaming and weeping piteously.
The Pagan looked at St. Peter. “Who are those people?”
St. Peter replied, “Them? They’re fundamentalists. They’re a bit surprised to see you all there, so they stand there and carry on like that all day.”
“Why? Don’t they have better things to do?”
St. Peter leaned conspiratorially toward her. “They don’t really have a choice. They’re actually in Hell. God doesn’t like being told what He thinks.”
P.S. this is curtisy of Staurt Herring on the Darwin Awards forum, you should all visit them.
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Usually the post-script (P.S.) goes AFTER the signature. Kind of like this.
-Mr.Nobody
P.S.: See?
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“P.S Don’t even think that a Damned spaghetti thing made-up by an asshole will save you.”
Sort of like how you believe a metaphor for benevolence made up by Englishmen who used leeches instead of antibiotics will save you from an imaginary fireplace?
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Just because your God was made up before ours doesn’t mean yours is less of a lie.
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God told you to treat others the way you wanna be treated.
In your own text, I might add.
Go ahead and condemn away.
I love the heat!
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Comment #9 (Yes, #9) is the best.
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wow ur a retard… this entire religion is a mere joke made up by someone looking to get his shits and giggles. love how christians damn everyone to hell but say god forgives all sins. total hypocrassy. and we are better than jehovahs witness because we are funny and dont go door to door trying to convert people… OMFG i wanna try to convert people to my religion!
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Don’t believe that a being that loved you would burn you in hell for slight mistakes then.
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Jake #238
E-mail me at kanastag@comcast.net. If I were to say what I wanted to you, it would not get posted.
If you think that is circular logic, you are an idiot. It’s called CARBON DATING numbnuts. Someone said this before me, but I feel the need to emphasize it. In carbon dating we use that carbon inside the fossils/ground (can’t remember which, I’m only 15, hormones and whatnot making me forgetful), we can tell how old it is by how much carbon there is. We know how much carbon is supposed to be in it, and then we use half-lives to tell how long it has been there. A half-life is how long it takes for half of the carbon to wear away. Say it’s 50 years, after 50 years only 1/2 the carbon is left, after another 50, only 1/4, another 50, 1/8. That is not circular logic, that IS SCIENCE. If I didn’t explain this correctly I hope someone after me will do a better job.
To the OP:
Forgive me for not making you first, but I feel that Jake is more of an idiot than you are. Perhaps once you realise how incorrect your xtian ways are, you will in fact forgo (sp.) cursing altogether. Calling people names is in no way how you get people to listen to you. It, in fact, makes you seem even MORE moronic than before. And yes, that is what we believe. Maybe you should stop believing that some, if I may quote you, “asshole” was the son of God, and performed miracles. It is my belief that everyone he hung around were potheads, and only thought they saw him doing these things.
Here’s to hoping His Noodly Appendage touches you,
-GM
RAmen
If you wish to ask a question or two, or just discuss the existence of the FSM, you can reach me at kanastag@comcast.net
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#267 Spaghetti Wester
That may have been the most amazing quote ever. I think I love you.
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#222 Christian
Maybe you should read about Einstein. He theorised that Energy could be converted into Matter, and vice versa. Blam.
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I love you too. Thank you for not praying for us.
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