I can’t believe you have spent so much time being sarcastic about how stupid you think faith in God is. People who have faith are not crazy, dillusional, or using religion as a crutch. I’ve heard it all. I don’t understand why people like you make fun of the single concept that believing in God comes down to–love. That’s all it’s really about. Making a mockery of something people feel passionate about is kind of a waste of time. I feel bad that you have gotten yourself so deep into this FSM thing and are surrounded by people who agree with you. Some things don’t have to make sense to you to be true.
I believe in what the Bible offers me because it all has a single underlying message: to be a pure and loving person. Although I’m not always, I want to strive to be…and this makes my life happier.
If you were to see a slideshow of your entire life, would you truly feel pride? Would you see yourself with images of sharing positive and happy emotion with others that isn’t based on making fun of Religion?
Someday you will come to a point where you’ll know the Truth. And you may not believe me now, but I’m just trying to help you…the day that you die, if you find yourself afraid and alone, just call out to Jesus. Just remember this.
p.s. check out George G, Ritchie’s Return From Tomorrow.
Love,
Carolyn
162 Responses to “I can’t believe you have spent so much time”















Apparently Jesus is planning on forgiving us all, anyway, so I’ll just leave it up to him. Not you. Thanks, though, you do a wicked Jesus, impression.
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Hi Carolyn
Thank you for the unusually articulate comment (compared to the usual rants). Obviously I can’t speak for anyone else on this site, and while i do have an underlying intense dislike of religion, I have an absolute hatred of the dogma that all too frequently accompanies it, but I never preach at others on the subject unless invited to. Yes, I agree that the underlying message of the new testament is to practice love and understanding for your fellow man. That message can be and indeed has been corrupted so many times to cause so much suffering. Hence my problem with organised religion.
I attempt every day to live my life with compassion and understanding (with periodic tough love), not out of any religious conviction, but because it feels like the right thing to do and is how I would like others to treat me (plus on a selfish level, I like the feeling of helping someone).
Like everyone else, my life thus far has been a mix of everything between extreme joy and hideous despair both alone and with friends/relatives, and I wouldn’t change a minute of it. It’s made me the person I am today, and to answer your question, I’m always happy when I look in the mirror.
Yes, one day I’ll realise my time is up and know that all I have to look forward to is oblivion. Right now that scares me (I’m only 34!), I’ve a lot of living left to do. But when my time comes I hope I’ll be wise enough to accept the inevitable and be able to look back on my life and say “yes, I’ve lived”.
In short, my life doesn’t need or want “The Truth”, I have no use for “God” or “Jesus”. I enjoy visiting this website because it makes fun over some of the more outrageous things the Christian fundamentalists try to do through the application of parody and satire rather than personal attack. Always brightens my day.
Barelysane
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Carolyn – I can’t believe you have spent so much time being sarcastic about how stupid you think faith in the FSM is. People who have faith are not crazy, dillusional, or using Pastafarianism as a crutch. I’ve heard it all. I don’t understand why people like you make fun of the single concept that believing in his holy noodliness comes down to–love. That’s all it’s really about. Making a mockery of something people feel passionate about is kind of a waste of time. I feel bad that you have gotten yourself so deep into this God thing and are surrounded by people who agree with you. Some things don’t have to make sense to you to be true. Besides, we too have a book, and also a graph!
Greybeard
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This doesn’t really count as HATE-mail, does it? I like it better when they swear at us. And what’s with the almost perfect spelling and punctuation?
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Gee, I hope I’m not dillusional, that would really put me in a pickle.
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>I can’t believe … how stupid you think faith in God is.
.
Ooh, projecting your doubts? Show us where this site says faith in god is stupid.
.
>…the single concept that believing in God comes down to–love.
>That’s all it’s really about.
.
Love? Really? Can you explain all the hatred, torture, killing and wars that have resulted from that love? Is this love you mention a love for pain and death? Is it a love of evil?
.
>I believe in what the Bible offers me because it all has
>a single underlying message: to be a pure and loving person.
.
Sounds like a good plan. Christians should try to follow a plan like that. Perhaps all the Christians who come to post on this site from now on can demonstrate what it’s like to be a pure and loving person. I eagerly await the demonstrations, even though us Pastafarians will be put to shame!
.
(Hint: You aren’t being pure if you demand that strangers engage in anal sex. With or without boating equipment.)
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hahaha “dillusional”, is that a delusional dillhole, or somebody having psychotic dreams about pickles?
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Well your view of the Bible is one of many but unfortunately for you, this will never sway my vote on this. I was intrigued with your message up until the end where you attempted to convert. That is what pisses me off. Stop trying to convert everyone! We don’t care what you believe in and neither should you! I myself joined this religion because I knew deep down that all the other ones were wrong. I know this one doesn’t have the right answer either but It’s better then the rest of em. I also joined because I wanted to get away from the other religions corruption. No one can say that there has never been a religion that has never undergone corruption, but this FSMism has the best track record so far. You may be one of the “good” christians, but there are too many people out there that just use religion as a means of getting what they want.
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Carolyn, You obviously haven’t spent much time actually reading the bible, because that’s not what it says at all, especially the old testament. It’s horrible really, and if you have a single ounce of sense in your head (i.e you’re not delusional), you’d run screaming from the sight of it.
Just as a thought experiment, imagine a rational person, living today, in the context of all the technological advances to date, who’s never, ever heard of religion, who’s never even imagined the possibility of God, picking up the bible for the first time and attempting to read it. Can you imagine his reaction? “Lot gave up his daughters to be raped?!?” “Jesus walked on water and came back from the dead?!?” “An invisible bearded gentleman in the sky is reading my mind?!?” “What the hell?!?” He might think it was a collection of short stories, maybe magic stories like Harry Potter, only poorly written and rather violent, but it would never occur to him in his wildest dreams to think of it as the truth.
But that’s not why I spend so much time mocking religion. To put it in perspective, think of the millions and millions of dollars spent on plays and television and sporting events. It’s mind-boggling, really, how much time and effort is spent on entertainment, and here on this website, it’s all FREE! And there’s an apparently inexhaustible supply of people who write letters for our reading and commenting pleasure! So I don’t think it’s time wasted; I just think of all the money I’m saving by not watching TV.
Thanks for your concern and Ramen!
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Carolyn,
I respect and admire your willingness to engage in meaningful, religious discourse. Our Bible and yours have the same goals–to be a loving person. Even now, many use religious texts as propaganda to fuel discrimination and hate. As Pastafarians, we simply propose that there is another way to enlightenment without the irrational or convoluted dogmatic messages. Further, I postulate that your idea of God and my idea of God do not have to be the same. Billions of people live on this planet, all with differing religious ideologies. I’ve done things that I’m not proud of, but I can say I’ve lived a good life if I had to watch a slideshow of it. The core doctrines of FSMism are based on tolerance, except for Ninjas, who are asking for trouble anyway. Thank you for sharing your beliefs, Carolyn-they will become a valued contribution.
Arrrgh.
Cap’n Jack
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I’m glad you found a book to guide you, but what about the contradictions and commandments to kill? not very loving
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You’ve heard it all, but listened to nothing. Congrats! Your religious brainwashing worked!
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I can’t believe you spent so much time writing the above and couldn’t read the first line saying START HERE. Had you don that you would have written something intelligent and not insulting to everyone here. Now sadly you will probally be insulted in return for another 40 posts.
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Hey so the Inquisition, Crusades, and Salem witch trials were about love?
Damn, God must be into some hardcore S&M.
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Why do they always tell us to call out or seek Jesus.
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I can’t believe that you need the threat of eternal damnation to force you to follow those ideals. As can be seen by perusing the sight just a little, those of us in the Church of FSM are just as compassionate as most cristians, and specifically more so in certain cases, such as the counter-protest against religious hate monger Fred Phelps. Being happy with others is as simple as enjoying the time we have together, and religion is not a necessary part of this. If you find that you are incapable of performing good in this world without the influence of your religion and all the illogical and contradictory baggage that goes along with it, I pity you. If you are one of the those who merely takes the message of love and rejects the rest, I would applaud you. The fact is that many religions, most notably christianity actually cause more strife than good, and The church of FSM has yet to cause any on a noticeable scale.
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What I don’t think you realize that you use God as reasoning for something unnecessary. You can be a kind and loving person without believing in God, even your Bible will tell you that. And I feel very passionate about the idea behind the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. I feel very passionate that our world should be freed from ignorance and blind acceptance. So realize your message can work for both sides, and don’t let words like atheism scare you. I so hate how that word makes people judge you.
P.S. Check out “The God Delusion” or anything actually, by Richard Dawkins.
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Carolyn – “People who have faith are not crazy, dillusional, or using religion as a crutch.” I’m afraid they are, but maybe not crazy as in damaged brains and stuff, but crazy because they were taught and unfortunately still believe that crazy Bible stuff. Bad learning makes for people doing crazy things, like trying to hasten the end of the world. That sure sounds crazy to me.
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Yes. Pure and loving. That’s why when the crusaders rode to slaughter innocent muslims, their war cry was “God wills it!”
Christianity has fueled wars and slaughter for centuries, and though that’s changed now, the enourmous amount of resentment and hate towards parts of our society is incredible.
You people simply take yourselves too seriously. This is, and was creaed to be, a joke. If you don’t like it, no-one is forcing you to read what we have to say.
On another note, to al those pastafarians out there, I suggest a novel by Terry Goodkind called “The sword of Truth.” Symbolisim at its best.
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Well, let’s not trot out the Crusaders all the time… Look at Indonesia. Christians there are killing lots of Muslims because they are obviously evil. You can tell by the way they are killing Christians, with the lame excuse that Christians have been killing Muslims. For killing Christian dogs.
Or what the North Irish tend to call “The Troubles”. That’s an all-Christian party, only some Christians are differently Christian from others, which is obviously Bad and Wrong and needs to be corrected by blowing up their pubs. Thank the FSM that at least in Northern Ireland, they are coming to their senses.
Or, to hop over to another continent, the various priests of the Aztecs, who claimed that what their god really needed was for other people to have their heart cut out, and shown to them before they died.
Now I’m not saying that the religious types *started* all that, but religion sure is a wonderful catalyst for turning a minor scuffle into a bloody war.
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Hey, crusading Xians, Jews & Muslims: Yer all a bunch of liars unless you go out and stone your wives that stray an inch, or set your sons on fire (or at least a goat or two). Read your holy bubble and OBEY!
Remember your god loves you and yr gonna burn in hell. And sex is nasty dirty disgusting and you should save it for the one you love.
Alternatively, you could get yourself some peace, friendliness, fun, kindness, logic and pastafarianism. Pasta be upon you.
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What if the Hokey Pokey IS what it’s all about?
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You’re boring
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In order to become “dillusional” don’t you need to eat pickles laced with LSD?
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Carolyn, I’m a bit concerned about your desire to be “pure and loving”. I don’t have a problem with the loving bit, but what is the pure bit about? Is it to do with not eating certain foods, or coming into contact with unclean people? Or could it possibly be to do with extramarital sex? As you’re xian rather than muslim, jewish or hindu it seems more likely to be sex.
Actually, it’s not dirty. People who do it aren’t “impure” any more than people who don’t do it are “pure”. Anymore than you can become impure by eating pork or touching someone else.
Pure and loving sounds like an oxymoron to me.
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Hello PYRETTE
Wow, that’s kind of eerie! You said (Post#58 – October 12th):
“I can’t believe you have spent so much time writing a letter about how stupid you think faith in The Flying Spaghetti Monster is. I don’t understand why people like you can’t understand the single concept that believing in the FSM comes down to – Fun. That’s all it’s really about. Making a mockery of something people feel passionate about is a whole lot of fun. I feel bad that you have gotten yourself so deep into this Christianity thing and are surrounded by people who agree with you.”
And I said (Post#8 – October 12th)
“I can’t believe you have spent so much time implying how stupid you think faith in the Spaghetti Monster is… I don’t understand why so many people can’t understand the single concept that believing in the Spaghetti Monster is FUN. That’s all it’s really about. Criticising something we people feel passionate about is kind of a waste of time my dear Carolyn! I feel a bit sad that you have gotten yourself so deep into this God obsession thing and are (probably) surrounded by people who believe the same stuff and don’t give you a chance to explore any other ideas.”
Talk about synchronicity! I guess we were on the same wavelength at the same time…
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What amazes me is there are still people in the 21st Century who actually believe in this superstitious, hocus pocus, god nonsense.
Your Christian god is about as real as fortune telling, tarot cards, reading tea-leaves, astrology and the Loch Ness Monster. Without the fun.
And to think these people are allowed to vote. :-/
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“single concept that believing in God comes down to–love.”
I love fictional characters too, but that doesn’t make them real.
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Save me jebus
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the bible says i should publicly stone my children to death if they are rude.
but i should follow this, because really, the bible is teaching me to become a better and more loving person.
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You seem to have missed the point of this site entirely.
I see nothing here which says that your believing in Jesus or the bible is crazy, delusional, or a crutch. It is merely trying to point out that there are lots of ways to believe, and all ways should be respected. One flavor in particular should not be taught in schools as the “right” one.
It is that very disrespect which is the basis of this website. And to do it with humor is brilliant, in my opinion. Apparently thousands of others agree, and support this attempt to enlighten those who would thrust their personal “god” upon others.
Evolution is science. Belief in god, Intelligent Design included, is hearsay. The bible doesn’t prove a thing – it’s just a book. A nice bunch of stories written by human beings. For those who say they believe every word of the bible, I would say If you want credibility, you had better be using ALL of its content, including not wearing more than one fiber in your clothing, and stoning your wife to death for adultery. Picking and choosing the parts you want to believe is just lame.
I see no evidence of this site not believing in love. If fact, I think that may be its single most important message. Open your eyes, open your brain.
PS
Isn’t evolution a miracle in itself?
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The old testament wasn’t loving and nice and dispensing happiness and magic so much as it advocated the brutal and violent death of people who you don’t agree with. And I do feel pride when I look at my life. Maybe a few twinges of regret that I didn’t join up with the fsm sooner, but that is soon forgotten in a lake of pasta and strippers.
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Yeah, religion is all about love. We all should have gone to Afghanistan a few years ago when the Taliban ran it so we could feel the love. Or be stoned to death – one or the other.
Thing is, when religion gains political power (like ID taught in schools as fact), that’s when science and freedom grind to a halt.
When I die I don’t figure on calling out to anyone, and that’s the truth. I’d rather live with that inconvenient truth than a comfortable lie.
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carolyn, you really do need to re-read the bible every once in a while. and not just the parts that make you feel all warm and fuzzy. it’s not all about love; it’s about control. read exodus. read leviticus. remember the travails of job, the poor slob who god allowed satan to torture on a bet (!) that he would not renounce his faith in his god. job’s wife was the one with the brains there; not job. she saw that god was essentially a bad “person” for allowing, nay encouraging, this nastiness to occur.
the bible is all about metaphor and codifying morality in ancient societies. it was written by a bunch of control freaks and its influence was expanded by legions of barely literate scribes who made thousands of changes to the texts to match the times and the messages the leaders wanted out there.
please also read carefully the introduction to our faith. you will recognize that the FSM would never do this to anyone, even someone, such as yourself, denies his existence. where your god’s earthly representatives regularly threaten life and limb and beyond, ours just wanna have fun. i know which one i’m choosing…..
may you be touched by his noodly appendage….soon
V
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Personaly. I gave up on beliving in God and I don’t like the fact how christians, or some of them, push there religion on others. And I’m not only singling out the christians but I’m just saying that from the insane ones I’ve met. I really do hope you change your ways and be touched by the FSM noodly appendage. I don’t know much about the FSM but what I do know I seem to like thus far. I’m still researching and reading. Hopefully I make him proud.
Ramen.
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I’m with Lori on this. Carolynn misses the entire point of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. As the letter to the school board is trying to show, just because thousands or millions of people have FAITH in something, it does not mean it is SCIENCE and should therefore be taught to children in schools. She does not have to believe in the Flying Spaghetti Monster any more than I have to believe in Jesus, but neither should be considered on the same level as evolution. That, as I see it, is the real lesson of the almighty FSM.
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Just come across this, all it does is reinforce my belief, that we as human beings will never find peace, its all so pointless, does any person with a little savvy expect this to change anything, this kind of approach only succeeds on one level, and thats to get peoples backs up, and that does nobody any good.
Change peoples minds, you must be having a laugh, another layer of animosity has been created.
I won’t be back, its all rather sad to be honest. peace to all
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That’s exactly what the Bible talks about: unconditional love. No wait, that isn’t what the Bible says. It says that there is only one path to God: Jesus. The historical figure. All who decide that worshipping him isn’t for them, all who haven’t lived long enough to hear his gospel, all who find different ways to celebrate God’s glory, all of those go to Hell. Fear God, worship Jesus, and be aware that my way is the ONLY way. Every other way has no hope, and that includes every other religion and philosophy that advocates peace, love, and nonviolence.
When you are in heaven, and you find that every person who has tried to be righteous, but did not fit the criteria of the Bible by deciding that Jesus wasn’t God in the flesh, is suffering eternally, by God’s great creed of eternal love and caring, would you really feel a sense of love for God? You had better celebrate, your personal God did it for you. You won’t have to worry about scientists cause they are probably doomed. You won’t have to worry about the diversity of thought found here on Earth because everyone who disagrees with Jesus won’t be there; and you certainly won’t have to worry about changing diapers, because unbaptized infants who die early haven’t ever heard the gospel. Never forget, there is no love more perfect than Jesus. It’s not like we could imagine a more tolerant ending for everyone who is different.
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Dear Carolyn,
did you really read the Bible properly, or are you Catholic and just listen to whatever your priest is telling you ?
The only passage about love is the ‘Golden Rule’ in Jesus teaching in the ‘sermon on the mount’, all the rest is mainly misogynic, murderous, genocidal incitement to violence and slavery.
From a sadistic God betting with the devil about poor Job,
persons like Lot who offered his own two virgin daughters for gang rape is considered as the only one worth of saving,
Joshua’s raping, destruction and genocide spree of the ancient Judean population,
God’s killing advise for all kind of sins in Leviticus,
up to the stoning to death advise for collecting firewood on a weekend etc.. .
Someone had counted the number of murders committed in the Bible : Satan = 10,God more than 2.2 million !! And this without the great flood to wipe out the entire fauna and flora because God’s frustration with his own ‘perfect creation in his own image’ of the homo sapiens species.
So where is your “it is all about love” and to make one’s life happier ? It’s definitely not your Christianity or Islam !
Abrahamic religions are sin obsessed misery cults, hoping just for ones death and a better afterlife, however the church of FSM is the religion of peace and fun here and now.
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in response to J.S., (just to clarify), God gives us unconditional love in that he loves us no matter what sins we do. He may not be able to MAKE you believe anything, but he will love you nonetheless. and the bible says that heaven will be full of rejoicing-no suffering, no pain, no regret.
In response to Roland, Satan doesnt kill, he turns you from God. If God didnt have his hands in our lives at all, we wouldnt be dead, we would be suffering. As for bad biblical actions, were not perfect, and no one who has studied the Word will say that even the disciples were perfect- Peter even denied Christ 3 times. but we are forgiven by God. About the Love thing, one example is “…and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave up himself for us.” Ephesians 5:2. Yes, i have read the Bible properly-every night. Also, Christianity and Islam have a few similarities, but Islam (to my knowledge-im not an expert on it) arent necessarily about having relationship with God as much as doing good deeds and following the Qur’an.
Also, i am a christian, and i feel like you are mocking what i believe. you can believe the things you like, but everything ive seen about this religion has made fun of Christianity. These are my beliefs, and i fully expect you to flame them. thats fine, but dont think that we are the only offenders, please. i dont want to fight, but i dont want to feel like the world is sinking even lower than it already is due to a plate of spaghetti.
Just for the record, “Although they claim to be wise, they have became fools and exchange the glory of the immortal God for images made to look like mortal man and birds and animals and reptiles”(..and food, now)Romans 1:22-23
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To Dear Carolyn
I can’t believe you spent all that time writing that… if you dont like it then ignore it. BTW
“Someday you will come to a point where you’ll know the Truth. And you may not believe me now, but I’m just trying to help you…the day that you die, if you find yourself afraid and alone, just call out to Jesus. Just remember this.”
JESUS IS DEAD!!!
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then follow what you believe, being pure and loving and all, but don’t follow some unbased claim that you will never be able to support…
If all god is is love then believe in love not “god” which can mean whatever you want it to be. and If you’re really trying to be a “pure and loving person” respect what other people have to say and don’t tell people that your religion is the only way. Way to be.
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“God gives us unconditional love in that he loves us no matter what sins we do.”
Except gay people! They’ll burn in HELL! Oh, and Jews, and Muslims, and Atheists, and ummm…Anyone who disagrees with us! Yeah!
“Also, i am a christian, and i feel like you are mocking what i believe.”
It took you a while to figure that one out.
“Also, Christianity and Islam have a few similarities, but Islam (to my knowledge-im not an expert on it) arent necessarily about having relationship with God as much as doing good deeds and following the Qur’an.”
It is fairly obvious that you have no understanding of Islam whatsoever.
Just for the record:
“Although they claim to be wise, they have became fools and exchange the glory of the immortal Flying Spaghetti Monster for images made to look like mortal man and birds and animals and reptiles, for lo, their false and Made-Up Gods are much less Creative then his Greatness”
I will do this to any Bible quote you throw at me
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“I can’t believe you spent all that time writing that… if you dont like it then ignore it.”
they are Christian, that should work fine with them. Or they could try to kill us all, that is the other way Christians have solved their problems before. Then the Internet was invented. Can’t kill us over the interwebs can you?! Didn’t think so.
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I believe in what the Bible offers me because it all has a single underlying message: to be a pure and loving person.
You…haven’t actually read that Bible of yours, have you?
It’s okay, we’re not upset. It happens to a lot of people.
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I just love how they all miss the point that we aren’t even really mocking it. We’re mocking how seriously they apply it to everything, and try to force it on others. God can be a bitch sometimes, but Flying Spaghetti Monster is pretty lax.
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See I like this kind of Christian, they’re just trying to be nice :)
But they have missed the point, the FSM was originally to have a dig at children being force-fed intelligent design…and due to the crazed reactions of religious people, a lot of people have just started having fun!
It’s like teasing someone, and not stopping because they react so hilariously!
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fuck you fsm believers. go to hell and then realize the shit.
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I shall not mock you, for that is not the point of this website. I actually think that what you wrote was quite beautiful. The problem is that you DON’T UNDERSTAND. You say you have heard it all. Well, have you realized that some of us aren’t making fun of YOU. (there are those who are, and they just don’t get it either, sorry for that). Anyway, I am not insulting your religion, I am merely looking at the flaws of ALL religion. I am happy, though I have no faith. I am not an atheist, nor am I any other religion or faith (although atheism isn’t a faith). It’s hard to comprehend, but I currently have no faith, and rather than completely ignoring religion, I have plunged head first into it, exploring every angle on it. I CAN look back on my life and find joy, I do not need a god for that. Remember, I do not mock your religion, but rather analyze them all.
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Kevin (#148), thanks for putting the ‘Fun’ and ‘mentalist’ into ‘fundamentalist’. I’m laughing at your mental dellusions, not with them.
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